Trucking Through Time

by Charles E Harris Dr

Genres: Fiction, Fantasy

344 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

Reviews

[Brian Koser · Rating 1 out of 5]

Quality is a circle; sometimes a book is so bad that it completes the circle and becomes good. Trucking Through Time, by Charles E. Harris, is so bad that it swings around through good, then keeps right on going until it's firmly back in bad. This might be the worst thing I've ever loved.

Karate. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Indians (his term). Soldiers. Chases. Escapes. True love (OK, actually the second-worst and worst romances I've ever read). Humor (unintentional). Humor (intentional and not funny). Paragraphs far more repetetive than me listing "humor" twice. Historical errors. Catch phrases. A completely blank page. And dialog that sparkles like concrete.

The plot: Chad and Dale are two truckers who go back in time to save the Indians (his term) by sending a telegraph to the president. They are rewarded by the Great Spirit with a wife and a daughter-in-law.

My favorite part of the book is Chad and Dale's catch phrase, "Damn it, boy". It's quite versatile. Here is every occurrence in the book with its corresponding emotion (everything is [sic]):

Confusion (p7): "Damn it, boy, I don't know where to put all this loot."
Satisfaction (p6): "Damn it, boy, I slept like a log."
Excitement (p18): "Damn it, boy, I sure like these." [binoculars]
Insecurity (p22): "Damn it, boy. You and I are the only ones in here without cowboy hats."
Agitation (p28): "Damn it, boy," he said as he hit the ground running for the lobby. [stepping into heavy wind]
Annoyance (p35): "Damn it, boy, I still have 0800."
Sarcastic (p37): "Damn it, boy, you're too kind." [after the other says, "I don't want to chance your big ass falling on me."]
Fear (p63): "Damn it, boy, they're all around the camp." [wolf tracks]
Surprise (p67): "Damn it, boy, you sure heal fast."
Camraderie (p104): "Damn it, boy, you tell him," Dale said.
Anticipation (p146): "Damn it, boy, hotsprings," Dale declared. (amazingly, said to a woman, not a boy)
Indifference (p190): "Damn it, boy, Collins is one angry cowboy."
Amusement (p191): "Damn it, boy, this sounds serious," Dale laughed and looked at Dancing Leaf who blushed and said with the same kind of smile Dale had on his face.
Lust (p239): "Damn it, boy," Chad said, knowing the torment they were both going through.
Observation (p255): "Damn it, boy, he just won't learn, partner," Dale said as Chad kicked high in the air, catching Collins on the side of the head.
Agreement (p255): "Damn it, boy, you're right."
Amusement (p278): "Damn it, boy, don't you ever give up."
Complimentary (p281): "Damn it, boy, you sure have a way with the women."
Disappointment (p325): "Damn it, boy, they're gone," Dale said as they ran for the truck.
Wonder (p328): "Damn it, farm boy. We did change history."

Another favorite aspect begins on page 5: "He and his partner were as different as night and day, and the most unlikely team you could imagine." When I read this, I paused and imagined the most unlikely team I could. I came up with "Juror #5 from the 1957 film version of 12 Angry Men" and "a pumpkin". On further reading I learned that Chad and Dale were the most unlikely team because Dale is bigger than Chad and also has a beard. The rest of the book informs you that both men are:
- Truckers
- Ex-military
- Trained in karate
- Avid readers
- Enjoy Louis L'Amour westerns
- Currently dressed in jeans, western shirt, black vest, boots, and baseball cap
- Trained in CPR
- Experts with pugil sticks
- Agree on everything and think identical thoughts

Chad and Dale are very woke for two truckers from Tennessee. They talk a lot about "the greed and prejudices of white man" while praising "the most decent people we'll ever know" who "kill only for food or to defend themselves", "so you tell me who is the savage here". Then the Indians (his term) capture a white criminal, who is definitely bad (attempted rape, hits a boy). The Indians (his term) put the man on a torture pole, beat him, scalp him while still alive, castrate him, then burn him to death. Dale: "You don't know enough to say whether they're right, wrong, or just indifferent." Then: "Indians do not have schools to teach them the ways of the white man...What you and most white man think as savage, is only a way of life for the Indian." Chad: "Dale just said we don't condone the torture, we just understand it. It's their way, their custom. You can't argue the point." I guess this is the author's attempt at "both sides have room to grow", but it's the most clumsy, high-school-freshman-essay way of doing it.

I'm mostly sure that Harris used the term "lick" to mean "punch" in the fight between Dale and Collins on page 253. But I'm not completely sure. You be the judge:

Dale: "Captain, why don't you tell Collins to come up here and put the chains on us? I'll shut his mouth permanently."
"Collins swung at Dale again and Dale blocked his lick and plastered him on the chin and Collins landed flat on his tale with a thud."
Dale tells Collins he learned karate back east. "Speaking of learning, you have a lot to learn, Collins, and keeping your mouth and comments off my partner and me is one you just learned...Your mouth seems to get you in a lot of trouble."
Collins stares at Chad and Dale. "Maybe he just wondered how they licked him so easily." "Collins was known to be pretty tough because he had licked many of the soldiers before."

(This next section I wrote on 1 hour of sleep in the previous 36. It made sense at the time.)
The time period Chad and Dale travelled to makes no sense. But it goes deeper. My extensive research and resulting string wall have convinced me that someone is altering the timestream!

Chad thinks they are in the late 17th or early 18th century. Obviously he means the late 1700s or early 1800s, but even this is soon contradicted:

(1867-????) Collins meets the three Indian scouts in Cheyenne, which was founded in 1867.
(1868-1890) We're in the Wyoming territory, which organized in 1868 and became a state in 1890.
(1858-1890) General Rollins et al. are stationed at Fort Bridger, which existed from 1858-1890.
(1868-????) Green River is a town near the fort, incorporated in 1868.
(1868-????) Chad tells Captain Troy they came from Georgia via Chicago (town organized 1833) and North Platte, NE (founded 1868), with the destination of San Francisco (ceded to US 1848).
Chad doubles down on late 17th or early 18th century based on soldiers uniforms and rifles. He claims Custer fought the Indians during this period, although his years of service were actually 1861-1876, and he only fought Indians 1866-1876.
(1861-????) Wilson tries to escape to Colorado (territory or state is not stated). Colorado became a territory in 1861.
(1864-1867) Rollins sent to Fort Collins for reinforcements, which was only a fort from 1864-1867.
(1861-1865) Rollins says Chad and Dale could be working with the Confederates.
(1902-????) Rollins contacts the Census Bureau, which was founded in 1902 (!!!!!).
(1861-????) Wyoming got the telegraph in 1861.
Chad doubles down on late 17th or early 18th century based on soldiers uniforms and rifles. He claims Custer fought the Indians during this period, although his years of service were actually 1861-1876, and he only fought Indians 1866-1876.
Chad triples down on "early 1800s" based on rifles the soldiers have.
(1862-????) The military started using taps for "lights out" in 1862.
Chad tells Captain Troy they represent the Bureau of Indian Affairs, which was actually known as the Office of Indian Affairs until 1947. Oops a daisy.

The pinnacle of this madness is on page 248. Maybe I've been staring at this too long, but Dale's logic makes no sense to me:
1. Slim Fox is Sitting Bull.
2. Custer was 20 or 21 when he was killed.
3. Slim Fox is 12.
4. The Battle of the Little Bighorn was in 1870 or 1871.
5. 20 years plus Slim Fox's age (12) is 32 years. 32 years before the battle is 1838.
6. Conclusion: The year is 1838, plus or minus 2 years.

Why are we adding Slim Fox's age to Custer's age when he died? Even if it made sense, his numbers are riddled with errors:

1. Sitting Bull's original name was Jumping Badger.
2. Custer died at 36.
3. I can't find where we found out his age. Input welcome.
4. The Battle of the Little Bighorn was in 1876.
5. The math is correct.
6. Very false, considering this whole discussion.

To quote Chad and Dale, the ONLY POSSIBLE CONCLUSION is that someone is altering the timeline. It obviously does not match our timeline, which would require the year to be 1902 at the earliest, and 1865 at the latest.

Postscript: I wrote this before finishing the book. Near the end we find out that James Garfield is the current president. That narrows the date range down to six months: March 4, 1881 to September 19, 1881. There's snow on the ground, so odds are it's at the beginning or end of that range.

A few of my favorite sentences of the book:

- p14 "I spent the night at a restaurant parking lot across the street from the truck stop because there was no room anywhere else because of all the other trucks."
- p42 "Chad, where is the interstate and telephone poles and everything else we are accustomed to seeing, like people?"
- p70 The two met at the same time, almost bumping into each other.
- p72 "We are trapped in the late 17th or early 18th century. That means white men are scarce and Indians are plenty."
- p72 "It all adds up to a bad day for the home team, and we just happen to be the visiting team that's trailing."
- p84 The General wanted Wilson badly because he had made him appear incompetent by allowing him to steal fifty U.S. Government horses from the fort, right under his nose.
- p85 He was fair with his men and very well liked by most everyone, including the Indian.
- p88 He only hoped the General would accept them as good trackers and not as savages as he thinks all Indians are, in his mind.
- p98 Pandemonium struck as both forces began firing at one another, the soldiers with their rifles and the Indians with their hatchets and bows.
- p104 "I assure you, Collins, we are in cahoots with no one."
- p122 Chad and Dale were happy to see the boy smile with such happiness and joy.
- p128 As she and Dale left the lodge, Chad felt his heart would explode not having his friend with him all of a sudden.
- p133 That maiden will be a reward and the one also rewarded.
- p135 "Dumb Indian," Chad said, and they all laughed.
- p137 Everyone was friendly, with smiles or nods for them and some even patted them as they passed.
- p138 Chad looked at her smiling face and grew an excitement he hadn't felt in some time.
- p144 Chad couldn't get past the idea of being with Light Feather with her beauty and graceful style, while Dale just wanted a bath.
- p146 "Damn it, boy, hotsprings," Dale declared. "This is the one thing I've always wanted and I'll certainly enjoy it."
- p146 "Please understand that I appreciate you very much, but I must not give any thought to this matter because of my love and respect for my wife."
- p147 He released her and saw in her eyes a deep true longing he'd not seen give him by anyone so ravishingly beautiful and innocent.
- p148 The submissive and passionate smile on her lips told Chad that he was about to have something he had wanted throughout his life.
- p149 Chad was so filled with emotion he could only watch this young maiden as she washed him and did it with the care and tenderness you would expect a mother to give a small child.
- p149 His heart was finally taken by the beauty and caring nature of a real, down-to-earth princess.
- p153 Of all the things the troops could imagine, war with the Sioux was not the most pleasant.
- p158 "Black Hawk," Jim Eagle said to Black Hawk as he jumped from the roof.
- p163 "We refuse to discuss it, but you can rest assured our time together was totally and completely enjoyable," Chad answered, not caring in the least what anyone thought. "We are squeaky clean."
- p165 "I have an idea, that what we do from this point on will be for the betterment and survival of the most decent people we'll ever know." The sincerity of his words was shown in his eyes. He had chosen his words carefully.
- p167 There was much laughter and warmth, feelings that were surely conducive to the times of young happy boys.
- p167 Dale put both his hands behind his back and around Slim Fox's shoulders.
- p169 "Enough! Place this white dog on the torture pole near the fire so we all can enjoy his pain."
- p171 Dale went to his other side and took his other arm to help him up.
- p172 "Dale just said we don't condone the torture, we just understand it. It's their way, their custom. You can't argue the point."
- p176 "That's what took us so long, we had to bury so many different parts of the bodies."
- p183 "Let's just shoot the General. Solve whole problem." They all laughed and sat down for a cup of coffee.
- p185 "I actually think he is more of a savage than these people," Dale said matter-of-factly.
- p187 "You are a fool, Collins."
- p188 "To the white man, it's a movement for power, money and the destruction of a people for expansion and the possibility of gold, silver and more room for cattle and cities for white men the could absolutely care less about the beauty of the land that God gave us."
- p189 "I don't eat dog meat," Collins said sarcastically.
- p191 "Princess, I would marry you before Congress, the entire Sioux Nation and before all the Armies in the world. You excite every sense from passion to panic and I would be honored to have you to show off to my mother and family. You can bet your little moccasins I'll marry you," Chad answered with the excitement of a teenage boy.
- p209 "It is hard not to fall in love with someone as honorable as you."
- p210 "I am normal."
- p222 She actually seemed to glow like a picture of an angel without wings."
- p233 The only explanation possible would be that this was a genuine miracle. Maybe God had a plan and revealed it through an ancient Indian ritual.
- p236 They decided to make a point of sending a message to the War Department and also to Congress.
- p242 The Captain saluted the General and left his office thinking all he said was rubbish.
- p244 "You should probably contact his news or press agent."
- p246 The shaman told them not to take chances but to remember the Great Spirit would be with them always.
- p250 "My butt is getting sore from riding this frazzling horse."
- p255 "Speaking of learning, you have a lot to learn, Collins, and keeping your mouth and comments off my partner and me is one you just learned."
- p259 "Indians do not have schools to teach them the ways of the white man."
- p260 "My partner speaks for both of us, General."
- p262 "Captain, that was known as karate. It's an art known by a handful of people back int he United States. The government was given permission to send a few men to China to learn the art."

[review continued in first comment]

[blake · Rating 1 out of 5]

In the 372-pages-we'll-never-get-back canon, there are two basic kinds of books: cynical cash grabs and sincere ineptitude. If you're familiar with the MST3K/Rifftrax genre, you understand the distinction between the '98 Godzilla or the Sharknado series, and Plan 9 From Outer Space. As a rule, the latter is more fun.

Buried here in scads of poorly spaced, unedited text is a germ of an idea where some good ol' boys in a truck get caught in a time warp and end up rescuing a young Sitting Bull from some bad hombres, and preventing a war between the US and Sioux so that Sitting Bull can go on to kill General Custer, as The Great Spirit intended.

It's also kind of fun to read this alongside The Art of Fiction: Notes on Craft for Young Writers because Gardner in his book talks about many of the mistakes Harris makes in his book. What mistakes does he make? Well, like most 372-pages books: All of them.

I probably re-read more of this book than any of the others to date because it was very hard for me to recall what I had already read. Pages of dialog recapping things that had happened, for the fourth or fifth time, though without the hypnotic Philip-Glass-ian repetition of The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-SQUARES Financial Statements, but there is at least an arc of a story in, mixed in with as healthy a dose of power fantasy as seen in The Eye of Argon.

Such books defy recommendations. You don't pick this up without knowing what you're in for.

[Ben De Bono · Rating 1 out of 5]

Trucking Through Time is gloriously awful. There's just enough there in terms of coherence where you can see how Charles E. Harris could convince himself he'd written something good, only to have the whole collapse in a fever dream of insanity and terrible writing.

The book is hilarious, though very obviously not meant to be. It swings effortlessly between harmless, fun adventure and Tarantino-esque violence. One page we're being told ad nauseam how peaceful and gentle the Indians are. The next they're going full on Bone Tomahawk.

The back cover promises that Harris will be "collecting data for his second novel sometime after football season". Sadly that never came to be and Harris has since gone to the great truck stop in the sky. The world is poorer for not having a second slice of his bat-shit crazy imagination to enjoy

[Urstoff · Rating 1 out of 5]

So good it'll make you cream your buckskins!

[Maki ⌒☆]

I love how basically everyone who's read this book has done so because of 372 Pages.

Damn it, boy. Well done.

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's almost impossible to give this a rating commiserate with it's quality, for I enjoyed it quite a bit more than it deserves. This isn't a good book, but by Jove is it a fun one. I mean, how can you not enjoy a book with the sentence "It all adds up to a bad day for the home team, and we just happen to be the visiting team that's trailing." Poorly written fun is what I'd call it, and I had a great time reading it.

[Michael · Rating 1 out of 5]

Since there is no blurb, I made up my own (for my blog):
In the middle of what they believe will be just another job hauling cargo, trucking duo Chad and Dale end up having the adventure of a lifetime. This isn't a simple trip across the country: Chad and Dale are... trucking through time!

Wow. Another great selection by the 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back podcast book club. (As always, this was a shared read-aloud with Donald.)

In the immortal words of Dale Rhea (*ahem*), this is indeed a stirring tale of "mystery, drama, excitement, compassion, horror, and romance along with many, many other words that could never explain the trip [they] took"!

Truly.

Look, there's no way I can fully explain this book. Just know that it's bizarre and unintentionally hilarious, but there are also some sections that are boring and/or repetitious. (Fellow podcast-listeners, by no means is this a 64-Squares situation, though! Rest assured on that count!) Harris had a tendency towards preachiness on his pet subjects, too, and there will be times when you'll shift uncomfortably in your seat and reflect that sometimes a book reveals a bit too much about its author...

The humor (again, completely unintentional) is wonderful, but the writing is bad (thus my rating). If you're going to read it, I recommend giving the 372-Pages podcast a listen.

(However, I must say I'm surprised that Mike and Conor didn't notice/mention the fact that Harris obviously "borrowed" his idea of the white girl adopted by Indians from Dances with Wolves, which incidentally was also about the Sioux and had a character-- the titular wolf-- named "Two Socks", which Harris one-upped with his own richly-developed character named "Three Socks"!)

One final note: I can't help but wonder who designed the cover art. I can't find any credit for it. Did Harris create it himself?

[Gunnar Peters · Rating 1 out of 5]

60 books down, and what a book to be number 60. This book is madness in the form of the written word. Absolute madness. The font, the spacing, the weird chapter lengths, the characters, the story, etc. It is just pure madness. Chad & Dale are the most earnest, kind, and woke dudes on the face of the earth one second and then just middle school boys at a sleep over in the next. All of the military characters are variations of the same man and all of the native characters are just pulled out of the most low-budget "Native American Name Generator" that has ever existed. And the ending?!?!?!?! I don't know if I've ever read something as bonkers as the last 10 pages of this book.

Another book for the bad book podcast. I do not recommend this book to anyone.

[Captnamerca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'll grade it on a curve and give it three stars. Wildly inaccurate historical dates, but nothing that really affects the narrative.

There was a decent story here, but it moved along like a toddler learning to ride a bicycle. It got really shaky near the end, but landed in the right yard.

Good effort, Chuck, but damn it boy, work on your dates.

[Milo Price · Rating 1 out of 5]

Woof

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book was poorly written and the ending was gross. There is a germ of a good idea in it.

[Scott · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have to separate how I actually feel about this one from the bias caused by coming off of The Forensic Certified Public Accountant and the Cremated 64-Squares Financial Statements and Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff. Even Twilight would seem like a masterpiece after that garbage.

Nothing happens. Here's the entire plot summarized:

Two truckers are driving from Atlanta to California. They run into a blizzard and end up back in 1838? (year unclear, they don't puzzle this out until 3/4 through the book but then they get a telegram from President Garfield who was elected in 1880, sooooooo nothing makes sense)

They find a Native American "boy" (he's later described as if he's an adult) and treat his wounds with their modern first aid kit, then when he's stronger take him to his village. Their coming was foretold by a medicine man because Native Americans are canonically magical in this book. Two women are shoved at them seemingly as rewards (one isn't Native American but that has no bearing on anything?)

The unmarried one sleeps with his lady in a hot spring, the other refuses. The dude who beat that "boy" they rescued murders one of his partners and instigates some kind of battle in which tons of soldiers are slaughtered. The nearby fort has an asshole general who wants to use this as an excuse to start a war with the Sioux.

The tribe captures, tortures, and murders that guy (which involved children kicking him all day, being tied to something they literally call "the torture pole", having his penis cut off, then being lowered face down into a bonfire). The guys are being considered "traitors" for not intervening and the other white dude who was released goes to the general who declares that they have committed treason.

The guys leave, go to the fort, are interrogated, are allowed to escape by a sympathetic officer, have a telegraph exchange with "Washington", Garfield relieves the general of his post, they go back to the tribe to say goodbye, and then just....end up back at their truck as if 15 minutes had passed.

Then we get a victory lap where they read about their own exploits on the back of a menu in a restaurant (a bizarre theme in the book that the podcast latched onto) and then run into the....reincarnation of the woman the one dude slept with? She had just met with a "clairvoyant" Native American and everyone just accepts this bizarre twist (like the guy knowing exactly what that mystic said their "Indian names" are). So yeah...canonically, the Sioux people are magic in this book, the last chapter makes this absolutely unambiguous.

THAT'S IT. There are like 4 whole "events" in the entire plot.

The writing is bizarre, which isn't helped by the abysmal typesetting and font used here. The dialogue causes me physical pain to read. I could also do without the horny racist grandpa tropes that rear their ugly heads.

Definitely much, much more amusing than the books that preceded this in the 372 Pages bibliography, but I didn't find it nearly as amusing as most other jackals and Mike and Conor. It was really hard to get past the casual racism, nonsensical (and at times nonexistent) plot, cringe-inducing dialogue, and just the overall pointlessness of it all.

This is one I'd honestly recommend just listening to the podcast episodes and not reading along is probably the superior way to experience it. Letting Mike and Conor do the heavy lifting of panning for the few gold nuggets here for you is fine here.

[Arnstein · Rating 1 out of 5]

“Damn it, boy!” – a time travel scenario, but with the most ridiculously cartoony understanding of Native Americans.

Trucking Through Time is one of the more well known so-bad-it's-good novels, but at the same time the narration is often very bland. Also, for some reason, it's typeset in Courier New, where the monospaced font reduces the uniqueness of each word, making the reader work harder to get through the text. Put together, these things dulled my reading focus. I ended up missing out on much of the novel's early gems of strange descriptives because I didn't keep an eye open for them. It took the misadventures with a panther (you know, the mythical big cat, i.e. the big cat that doesn't exist) to finally wake me up again:

“That's a cat of some kind, Dale, and it's very close.         Probably trying to figure a way in around the fire. Take this knife and pole and I'll get a pole with a fuzzie and we'll poke at it if it comes in. Cats don't like fire, anyway, ” Chad said as he went into the cave to get the pole with a fuzzie. “Look, Dale, we forgot about this mace.       I hope that thing doesn't get close enough to use this stuff, but if it does, this will damned sure send him on his way. ”
       No sooner had Chad said that, a panther leaped from the bank above the cave onto Dale's back, knocking him to the ground.       Dale covered himself as best he could by pulling his coat over the back of his neck and curling up into a ball.       Chad picked up the pole with the knife and thrust it into the big cat's neck,     putting all his strength against it.     The cat let out a yell and turned on Chad, but chad held the knife in the cat's neck and circled with the cat, holding it at bay.   The cat kicked and screamed as Chad drove the knife deeper into the cat's neck and finally pinning it to the ground. Dale leaped to his feet and stepped back from the wild animal, his eyes wide with fear. Chad pulled the knife from the cat's neck and thrust it into the dying animal.
       "You O.K., partner?" Chad asked (pp. 92-93; errors as in the original text)

At this point I had begun to consider starting over from the beginning, then this came along ten pages later and made up my mind:

“We were attacked by a pack of wolves one night and a panther the next.” (p. 102)

Yet, I distinctly remembered that this all took place in one night and that the wolves only howled in the distance. So I backtracked and found this on the page before the fight with the panther:

Chad nor Dale had actually seen a wolf.       Hearing them was bad enough because they sounded so lonely and scary. (p. 91)

It was beginning to dawn on me how much the dull prose of this book had affected my senses. I had been lulled into a monotonous state of mind and drowned out all the wonderfully curious elements. And to be sure, Trucking Through Time is filled with them. In fact, Brian Koser wrote an extensive review which contains a pile of the best sentences so large that it exceeded the character limit of the review and spilled over into the first comment. It also explains the 'damn it, boy' jokes and goes into detail on the accuracy (or rather the lack thereof) of the historical components.

So, I started over with a more thorough mindset. On the very first page this sentence glared at me:

Chad told him they had to check with dispatch that he didn't know yet. (p. 1; errors as in the original text)

I should have noticed this, but back when I read this part the first time, I must have lost my focus already by this point. Even more unforgiving is that I missed this:

Meeting his [Dale's] wife and my dear friend Marie had all to do with settling him down. […] As big as he [Dale] is, he looks the part of a motorcycle rider with his thick black beard and long hair. He and his partner were as different as night and day, and the most unlikely team you could imagine.
       Chad was clean cut and a hundred pounds lighter. Quick on his feet and quick thinking, but the main thing Dale liked about him is that he was an ex-marine and tough as nails. Dale was an ex-Navy Seal and they each spent a tour in Vietnam. (pp. 4-5; errors as in the original text; text in brackets added for clarity or to show where text has been removed for brevity)

The first sentence of the quote I left in because it's far from clear that Dale's wife is also Chad's friend, but that turns out to be the case. The main thing that sticks out is what follows: Dale and Chad (named after the chipmunks perhaps?) are as alike as two persons can be. Most of the time the reader will have a hard time separating them from each other because they speak and think the exact same way. Yet here the book defines them as very different because one is fat and bearded and the other isn't, and it insinuates that this also makes them unlikely to be friends. This is an indication of just how superficially the novel treats its characters. This doesn't get any better as the novel goes along. For instance the “Indian” love interest is called Light Feather because she is so... well, the book describes her thus:

Finally Chad and Dale noticed the new maiden because of her grace and beauty.     She was young and carried herself with dignity and pride and was obviously one of the more interesting of any of the other ladies in the village. (p. 134)

She is not named Teen Sex Object, but still this kind of naming convention is more fit for strippers from 80's B-movies. The Sioux men are given historical names, but since this is the kind of classic story of the American West where the men are heroes and the women are flustered fangirls and eye candy, the ladies are given sexy names. As far as I can tell, Light Feather was never a name used by the Sioux or any other of 'the Indian.' This interaction is also where the infamous “Dumb Indian” (p. 135) quote comes from.

Unsurprisingly, one of the interests Chad and Dale share is western books –

They were both avid readers and each of them enjoyed the Louis L'Amour westerns. (p. 9)

– and you can tell that the author loved them too. For instance, if this review hasn't made this abundantly clear already, the term 'Native American' has no part in this book, but 'damn it, boy,' if there isn't a lot of stereotypical “Indians” in here from old black and white westerns. It's the same way with the historical accuracy and the characters. When the time travel happens – and this transition is surprisingly well written – it doesn't feel like Chad and Dale went back in time as much as they entered an old Lucky Luke or Zilverpijl album. It's a hilarious moment of its own when the book tries to show that it is aware of how the “Indians” have been treated unfairly by history, and does so by claiming that they were not the only ones to make bloodshed, but admits that the colonists also did a lot of killing. (To be fair, it seems like the intent was to show how poorly the white man treated the native peoples, but the way the book words the beginning of the rant is quite funny. Neither is it the last time it'll make a mess out of this intent.)

In short, the lesson here is that Trucking Through Time isn't as boring as it may seem, but it demands that the reader remains focused in order to pick up on the good parts. It's not easy when the first forty pages or so, concern themselves almost solely with driving a truck and being drowsy, but that is what one has to do to get the most out of this book. (The sections of romance are also hard on the reader for reasons one could perhaps best summarise as 'damn it, boy, will you keep Chad's pants on so that my eyes don't get a rash!') Yet, while Koser, in his aforementioned review, made a valiant effort to include a rich supply of hilarious quotes from here, it isn't anywhere close to being exhaustive. This shows just how much good material there is herein. It is, in other words, well worth making the effort to stay awake (and mentally sanitised) as you read this.

This review is best ended with one last quote.

We want to thank you for your part in correcting this matter and to also thank you for the Indians. (p. 312)

[Ross · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is littered with grammatical and spelling errors, he clearly meant the late 1700 or early 1800's and not the late 17th or early 18th century and I am sure it has almost no historical accuracy. Having said all that it is clearly a labor of love and way better than some of the cynical bullshit I have read for this podcast. The main characters are a pair of woke truckers, who never disagree and it was kind of a fun story. Probably my favourite of all the 372 Pages books.

[Jessie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Silly fun book. Read for 372 pages podcast. well worth it.

[Bryan Woerner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another book in the 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back reading list. I feel like the history written about in this book was gleaned from sugar packets.

It was weird, now well edited, but fun.

[rndgmoat · Rating 1 out of 5]

Probably the worst thing 372 pages has ever put me through; I would even take the 64 Squares and its Dadaist weirdness over this self-indulgent Boomer fantasy. Look, the book means well; Charles E. Harris probably thinks of himself as having enlightened and progressive attitudes toward Native American peoples. But also, dude, transporting your main characters to the era of an actual genocide--a genocide we are still struggling to admit happened--and then making a possible massacre by a racist general the main source of tension would be a hard thing for any light-hearted romp about time traveling truckers to pull off. It is a terrible, almost weirdly revisionist and despite being set in era of again, AN ACTUAL GENOCIDE, bizarrely jingoistic tale of two time traveling buddies who act as white saviors to a bunch of noble savages. Gross.

[Arkrayder · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book while listening to the podcast 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back with Michael J. Nelson and Connor Lastowka, both of Rifftrax fame. First off, the font used in the printing of the book is horrendous. Almost like a typewriter was used to print out the pages. My guess would be that it is Courier font, or something similar. The novel itself is rife with typos, repeating text and poor grammar. But for all that it still has a charm to it. I advise listen to the podcast while you read this as some of the hosts views of this book are hilarious. 🙂🤔

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another “372 Pages” book read along with the podcast. Poorly written, dumb plot...the usual complaints. But it’s evident that this was a sincere effort by an amateur writer. It had a lot of heart and was rather entertaining at times. I can’t justify more than 2/5, but this wasn’t the worst book I’ve read along with the podcast.

[PP9000 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Awful.

[blake · Rating 1 out of 5]

Once more, but out loud. Hilarity ensues.

[Ron · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ridiculous but entertaining

[Sarajane Pinkman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Page 194. That is all.