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What's Stopping You?: Why Smart People Don't Always Reach Their Potential and How You Can
"This personal witty and insightful book teaches us about the fears that drive failure and the self-awareness that can help us navigate it. The great point about this book is that it is both philosophical with regards the nature of fear and its impact on achievement, and practical. For those that may be paralysed by a fear of failure, it offers a way through." —Luke Johnson, serial entrepreneur, Financial Times columnist and Chairman of the RSA "This powerful, insightful book shows you how to unlock your unconscious brakes and step on the acceleration of your true potential!" —Brian Tracy, author of Maximum Achievement
"Kelsey offers a successful and eloquent analysis of fear of failure as a mass condition in the modern world, and one we ignore at our peril." —Donald Kirkpatrick, psychoanalyst and a founder of the London Association for Counselling and Psychoanalysis
Do fear and doubt hinder your progress in life? Are you paralyzed at key moments by your insecurities?
Millions of smart people are held back from achieving their potential by a fear of failure. Many of them don't even realize that this recognized condition is limiting their progress.
What's Stopping You? offers no quick-fix solution. Why? Because the key to unlocking you potential for success lies in understanding the root causes of the fears and insecurities that hold you back and in accepting who you are, rather than trying to become someone you are not.
Based on extensive research, recognized science and stark reality, this book will help you navigate the barriers that hold you at work, with people and in life.
"Robert Kelsey has combined thorough research, careful thought and the lessons of his own experience to produce a valuable, original and eminently readable book. I can strongly recommend it to anyone whose progress has been impeded by fear of failure." —John Caunt, author of Boost Your Self-esteem
"Confidence is the ultimate secret weapon of any successful entrepreneur. If Robert's book can help you find yours then it will be worth its weight in gold." —Rachel Bridge, author of How I Made It
"Kelsey offers a successful and eloquent analysis of fear of failure as a mass condition in the modern world, and one we ignore at our peril." —Donald Kirkpatrick, psychoanalyst and a founder of the London Association for Counselling and Psychoanalysis
Do fear and doubt hinder your progress in life? Are you paralyzed at key moments by your insecurities?
Millions of smart people are held back from achieving their potential by a fear of failure. Many of them don't even realize that this recognized condition is limiting their progress.
What's Stopping You? offers no quick-fix solution. Why? Because the key to unlocking you potential for success lies in understanding the root causes of the fears and insecurities that hold you back and in accepting who you are, rather than trying to become someone you are not.
Based on extensive research, recognized science and stark reality, this book will help you navigate the barriers that hold you at work, with people and in life.
"Robert Kelsey has combined thorough research, careful thought and the lessons of his own experience to produce a valuable, original and eminently readable book. I can strongly recommend it to anyone whose progress has been impeded by fear of failure." —John Caunt, author of Boost Your Self-esteem
"Confidence is the ultimate secret weapon of any successful entrepreneur. If Robert's book can help you find yours then it will be worth its weight in gold." —Rachel Bridge, author of How I Made It
241 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2011
67 people are currently reading
664 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
November 6, 2011
This book can be summed up in one word: practical. While most self-help books are heavy on the aspiration, What's Stopping You: Why Smart People Don't Always Reach Their Potential and How You Can is a no-nonsense guide to acknowledging, understanding and overcoming fears, especially the fear of failure. Robert Kelsey doesn't promote complete banishment of fears, nor does he promise happiness or spiritual enlightenment. By understanding the reasons for the often-paralysing fear of failure, Kelsey contends, we can short-circuit it and channel our energy towards effective goal-setting, after which we can make incremental - and measurable - progress towards these goals. The techniques described are scientifically sound, their roots straddling psychotherapy, psychology and motivational theory without veering off into NLP/hypnosis territory (which Kelsey considers a form of delusion). The book's advice on time management and people skills is excellent. My only criticism is of Kelsey's sweeping statements in relation to people's hard-wiring being unchangeable. This is by no means an unmalleable truth: radical changes have occurred in many people's 'default' settings, often as the result of intense psychotherapy, trauma or sheer force of will.
For procrastinators, business people at all levels, blocked artists or those who feel that they aren't achieving their potential, this book is a godsend. Or if you just fancy a motivational kick up the backside, 'What's Stopping You?' is just the literature to do it.
For procrastinators, business people at all levels, blocked artists or those who feel that they aren't achieving their potential, this book is a godsend. Or if you just fancy a motivational kick up the backside, 'What's Stopping You?' is just the literature to do it.
February 8, 2012
Based upon clinical research the author suggests that we are either "achievement motivated" (AM) or have a "fear of failure" (FF).
Those who are AM will attempt moderately difficult tasks and be focused on the rewards. Those who are FF will chose easy tasks, look to avoid the task completely, or most interestingly, chose to tackle the hardest tasks of all nearing the impossible. For in those they are not expected to achieve success and so failure is expected and minimised and the unlikely success is amazing to all. This is the case in wanting to be a Billionaire or a superstar.
The book essentially distils hundreds of "self-help" books into what the author found the most useful. Some books are mentioned a lot, such as Covey's 7 Habits 7 for Highly Effective People, whilst most just get a passing reference. The recommended reading list at the end of the book is three full pages long.
I found the book useful, and enjoyed reading the distilled information. At times Kelsey quoted from books I'd read previously, Getting Things Done and How to Win Friends and Influence People both come to mind; this I enjoyed as it reminded me of principles and ideas that I had put in place for a while, but subsequently stopped applying.
I'm going to go through this again in a month or so, as I think the volume of condensed knowledge contained in here bears repeated reading.
Those who are AM will attempt moderately difficult tasks and be focused on the rewards. Those who are FF will chose easy tasks, look to avoid the task completely, or most interestingly, chose to tackle the hardest tasks of all nearing the impossible. For in those they are not expected to achieve success and so failure is expected and minimised and the unlikely success is amazing to all. This is the case in wanting to be a Billionaire or a superstar.
The book essentially distils hundreds of "self-help" books into what the author found the most useful. Some books are mentioned a lot, such as Covey's 7 Habits 7 for Highly Effective People, whilst most just get a passing reference. The recommended reading list at the end of the book is three full pages long.
I found the book useful, and enjoyed reading the distilled information. At times Kelsey quoted from books I'd read previously, Getting Things Done and How to Win Friends and Influence People both come to mind; this I enjoyed as it reminded me of principles and ideas that I had put in place for a while, but subsequently stopped applying.
I'm going to go through this again in a month or so, as I think the volume of condensed knowledge contained in here bears repeated reading.
January 5, 2019
Not necessarily a bad book, but not right for me
May 10, 2019
it was an okay book, too much referring to other books, I would like to read your very idea if possible,, plus it can be much shorter
November 14, 2018
Kelsey gives solid, actionable advice by summarizing other self-help books and saying what helped and didn't help him.
At the end there's a complete summary so you can quickly recall what's in the book.
At the end there's a complete summary so you can quickly recall what's in the book.
December 19, 2015
If you have problems identifying with other self help books, flip through these pages. I did so at an airport book stand and found each page spoke to me: my ability to execute perfectly under fire but paralysis during times of peace, my overwhelming need for praise and attention from others, the voice in the back of my mind trying to convince me my successes are a fluke. These things are not addressed in those other "you can do it!" Books written for well adjusted people who need a paperback cheerleader.
This is a book for those of us who would be lead off a cliff to listen to that advice.
This is a book for those of us who would be lead off a cliff to listen to that advice.
December 29, 2015
Five stars for the first half; one for the second half, where the author makes some guesses about what outcomes you'd like out of life and writes about that, and that alone. Worth reading for the first two parts.
May 21, 2013
A book I read 35 years too damn late.
Give a copy to your children, before they repeat my mistakes
Give a copy to your children, before they repeat my mistakes
June 29, 2021
I loved this book and not only recommended it to many people while reading it but it is also one of the few books I will keep and reread once in a while again.
Mr Kelsey doesn't offer you a "one size fits all" solution. He doesn't leave the reader with a "poor you, of course the world is a bad place and it is everyone's fault that you are not the Best" taste in their mouth and comfort blanket to wrap up in.
Instead he tells the reader: "if you don't like what you see or the way your life is, it is 99% your fault and here is a plethora of tips and tricks, that will work, if you keep on doing it diligent and long term."
Not an easy pill to swallow, yet the best medicine is always bitter.
Should you or anyone you know who is reading this book, really struggle with the guilt and shame of being human and failing and starting to take on the blame for other people's failures, please seek professional help.
Remember that you are only responsible for yourself and can only do your own personal best. No matter if you are parent, partner or CEO. Each human being is here to fulfill their own purposes and there is nothing you can do apart from giving the best. And that includes being perfect at being a "failure".
By being "bad and rotten" you give others the chance to look at you and learn from your mistakes if they want to do so. And if someone chooses to follow you in your bad decisions, well it was their own personal choice. You don't kidnap, force or threaten anyone to like you, ,listen to you or follow you, do you?!
Enjoy the book and do the best you can. Remember your "failures and mistakes" are someone elses best and biggest life lessons. Like the saying goes: one man's trash is another man's treasure.
So ditch the shame and guit and be proud of who you are now and read with an open mind and curiosity to how much better you could possibly still become.
Mr Kelsey doesn't offer you a "one size fits all" solution. He doesn't leave the reader with a "poor you, of course the world is a bad place and it is everyone's fault that you are not the Best" taste in their mouth and comfort blanket to wrap up in.
Instead he tells the reader: "if you don't like what you see or the way your life is, it is 99% your fault and here is a plethora of tips and tricks, that will work, if you keep on doing it diligent and long term."
Not an easy pill to swallow, yet the best medicine is always bitter.
Should you or anyone you know who is reading this book, really struggle with the guilt and shame of being human and failing and starting to take on the blame for other people's failures, please seek professional help.
Remember that you are only responsible for yourself and can only do your own personal best. No matter if you are parent, partner or CEO. Each human being is here to fulfill their own purposes and there is nothing you can do apart from giving the best. And that includes being perfect at being a "failure".
By being "bad and rotten" you give others the chance to look at you and learn from your mistakes if they want to do so. And if someone chooses to follow you in your bad decisions, well it was their own personal choice. You don't kidnap, force or threaten anyone to like you, ,listen to you or follow you, do you?!
Enjoy the book and do the best you can. Remember your "failures and mistakes" are someone elses best and biggest life lessons. Like the saying goes: one man's trash is another man's treasure.
So ditch the shame and guit and be proud of who you are now and read with an open mind and curiosity to how much better you could possibly still become.
September 24, 2017
Excellent advice in this book. A real different spin on perspectives at times for me and I felt the book was definetly well written for the audience it was aimed for. I will be revisiting this at some point as here were some real gems in there
July 31, 2020
If you think you are an imposter then this book has great insight on how to handle the inner voice or the monkey on your shoulder and it isn't all about being the next great thing but being a great you
September 7, 2019
A self-help book.
I found this book quite useful - basically work with what you've got and take action / plan (despite your fears).
Reading time around two hours.
I found this book quite useful - basically work with what you've got and take action / plan (despite your fears).
Reading time around two hours.
September 18, 2019
The author Robert Kelsey did a great job at compiling different ideas but I was missing his original thoughts in this book.
January 31, 2020
If you want build real and big confidance , join one of Toastmasters club: Toastmasters.org
February 22, 2020
Great compilation of books, a very nice performance by author. I do like a lot all the references and how he made a deep analysis of them.
December 25, 2021
El éxito no se construye sobre el éxito. Se construye sobre el frustración. Sobrevivir a un fracaso te da más confianza en ti mismo
February 1, 2022
Es una recopilación de muchos libros con datos muy importantes para traerlos a tu vida y mejor más como persona .
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 19, 2017
Overview: I listened to the audiobook of the second edition, which is plugged full of additional stories from readers who read the first edition and wrote in to the author. This book is an interesting read. He looks into self-help books written by about a billion other authors, and it generally flows nicely into the overall theme of how we respond when something unexpected occurs. If you were going to read one book about motivation, he wanted this to be the ultimate summary of all the major books in the genre. I would read this again in a year or three to refresh some of the concepts and try more of his (numerous) suggestions and strategies.
Favourite quotes:
"Just as the confident person creates the mental conditions for their own success, the person who lacks confidence creates the mental conditions for their lack of progress."
"Achievement in any field is impossible without setbacks. What separates the field is not the setback, however, but the response to it."
"Plan to make progress anyway."
"If you could have your goal now, would you take it?" ~ Julie Starr
"You need to ensure that your goals complement who you are. You also need goals beyond your initial goals. And you need to recognize the progress you make along the way."
"Strategy is the bridge between the objectives and the executable tactics."
"To-do lists are the tasks to complete over the next few days. Checklists note the steps we must take to complete a task efficiently."
"If we aim high, we'll land higher than if we aim midway, even if we land lower than the stated objective."
Favourite quotes:
"Just as the confident person creates the mental conditions for their own success, the person who lacks confidence creates the mental conditions for their lack of progress."
"Achievement in any field is impossible without setbacks. What separates the field is not the setback, however, but the response to it."
"Plan to make progress anyway."
"If you could have your goal now, would you take it?" ~ Julie Starr
"You need to ensure that your goals complement who you are. You also need goals beyond your initial goals. And you need to recognize the progress you make along the way."
"Strategy is the bridge between the objectives and the executable tactics."
"To-do lists are the tasks to complete over the next few days. Checklists note the steps we must take to complete a task efficiently."
"If we aim high, we'll land higher than if we aim midway, even if we land lower than the stated objective."
October 14, 2012
I received this book as part of the amazon vine programme, and from the first few pages I realised that this could be the book I've been needing to read for years. Its clear explanations of the differences between those with high ambition and those with high fear of failure totally resonated with me - that those with high fear of failure tend to set goals that are either far too easy or doomed to failure, and so telling them to reach for the stars is pointless, and that there will always be that little voice on your shoulder telling you how disastrous things are and that the secret is to learn to live with that voice, cope with that voice and try anyway.
This book isn't about how to be the exception to the rule, the one who aims for the impossible and achieves it against all odds. It's about being able to set goals that are reasonable, achievable and desirable and then being able to stick to your guns and reach those goals, despite the self-sabotage that your brain is wired for.
This book isn't about how to be the exception to the rule, the one who aims for the impossible and achieves it against all odds. It's about being able to set goals that are reasonable, achievable and desirable and then being able to stick to your guns and reach those goals, despite the self-sabotage that your brain is wired for.
August 4, 2014
Desde Leader Summaries recomendamos la lectura del libro ¿Qué te detiene?, de Robert Kelsey.
Las personas interesadas en las siguientes temáticas lo encontrarán práctico y útil: habilidades directivas, superar el fracaso.
En el siguiente enlace tienes el resumen del libro ¿Qué te detiene?, Cómo superar el miedo al fracaso, mejorar la autoestima y desarrollar una carrera profesional exitosa: ¿Qué te detiene?
Las personas interesadas en las siguientes temáticas lo encontrarán práctico y útil: habilidades directivas, superar el fracaso.
En el siguiente enlace tienes el resumen del libro ¿Qué te detiene?, Cómo superar el miedo al fracaso, mejorar la autoestima y desarrollar una carrera profesional exitosa: ¿Qué te detiene?
February 9, 2013
If this question means something to you and you fear failure in things you do, then read this one book.
I've read lots of self help books and this one uses so many quotes that it could be the only book you need to read, to be quote given for years.
There is practical advice, it is a heavy read at times.
Having said that it is a good book, if you want to really get over your fear of failure.
I've read lots of self help books and this one uses so many quotes that it could be the only book you need to read, to be quote given for years.
There is practical advice, it is a heavy read at times.
Having said that it is a good book, if you want to really get over your fear of failure.
May 24, 2011
It's ok, some useful insights, aimed at people with a high fear of failure. A story in part of the author overcoming his high fear of failure and how he ended up running some successful businesses despite this, along with the self-help gurus he found helpful.
January 24, 2014
Distinguishing himself from other 'self-help' writers, instead of promising a cure Robert offers frank & applicable advise on how to live with your fears and how to thrive in spite on them. A clearly structured guide with a personal touch.
June 28, 2016
Este libro me gustó, está lejos de los ya saturados libros mágicos de auto ayuda. Te da un enfoque realista del porqué del miedo al fracaso.
Tiene buenas referencias bibliográficas para ahondar más en el tema y no es un libro aburrido.
Lo recomiendo mucho.
Tiene buenas referencias bibliográficas para ahondar más en el tema y no es un libro aburrido.
Lo recomiendo mucho.
November 22, 2012
Disappointing. I think the core argument is a bit flawed and its overly prescriptive. A bit of a let-down
June 26, 2013
Very nice summary of the good parts of a lot of different self-help books. Good if you suffer from low self-confidence or a fear of failure.
February 7, 2016
rip-offs from other books....reads more like a losers biography!
December 30, 2020
Encouraged me to start living and quit stucking!
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews