Rite of Passage Parenting: Four Essential Experiences to Equip Your Kids for Life

by Walker Moore

It's no something has happened to America's families. Dramatic shifts in our culture mean that what was once an acceptable way to produce mature, capable adults has now all but disappeared. In Rite of Passage Parenting , family expert Walker Moore explains how that happened. And after concisely assessing the problem, Moore teaches you how to build into your children''s lives the essential experiences every child (1) an authentic Rite of Passage, (2) Significant Tasks, (3) Logical Consequences, and (4) Grace Deposits from parents, grandparents, and other caring adults. Walker Moore writes from years of experience as a minister, family speaker, youth culture specialist, and father. He knows well the damage to self-reliance, self-worth, values foundation, and identity that missing out on these essential experiences can cause. In Rite of Passage Parenting , he shows you how to prevent the damage and help your children move toward adulthood in a healthy way. If you are concerned about the effects of the current cultural chaos; if you notice in your children a lack of responsibility, the lack of a good work ethic, disrespect for authority; if you are worried that your children may experiment with false rites of passage-profanity, smoking, drugs, alcohol, body piercing, or sex-let Walker Moore show you how to provide the four essential experiences most children are missing.

Genres: Parenting

241 pages, Hardcover

First published May 29, 2007

Reviews

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars may be generous, but 4 seemed a bit low.

The author's analysis of our current culture and its effects on kids and parents made a lot of sense to me. His suggestions were practical. I have renewed enthusiasm about my role as a parent in helping my kids to grow into responsible adults who want to follow Jesus.

[Rick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although written from an evangelical Christian perspective this book offers an excellent analysis of the current condition of kids in America that the non-believer can use.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great parenting book with specific steps and examples to raise fully competent and independent adults. I like that this book discusses the history of raising children, the cultural and familial shift from agricultural to industrial and the emergence of the idea of the “teenager”. It continues to explain why this idea of “teenagers” is just an excuse to put off adult responsibilities and adult consequences. As a homeschooling family whose goal is to raise fully functioning members of society, this book is a very helpful tool.

[Kenzie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Instead of a coming of age ceremony as is done in some cultures but rarely in the modern US, teenagers could choose to complete a rite of passage project. In order to complete such a project, they need to engage in significant tasks to build confidence and competence.
I don't know how specifically I'm applying the information, but the overall idea of giving kids more responsibility and having higher a vision for what they can accomplish and contribute in their teenage years is a guiding one in my parenting.

[Sara Allen · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was nothing wrong with this book, but there was nothing exceptional, either. The concept is giving your children more responsibilities earlier to prepare them for adulthood. It’s Christian-based, but doesn’t introduce any new ideas and it’s exceptionally well-written.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

My sister shared this book with me. It has a lot of great takeaways, especially for older kids. Quick read!

[Carla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book and read it in a weekend. Not just a parenting book, it develops an entire philosophy on parenting as a whole, and is based on the philosophy that kids need a distinct Rite of Passage in their early teens to both look forward to from toddler years on, and to move forward from in order to be well equipped for adulthood. Our culture is very unique in that there is no distinct turning point when kids become adults - from 13 when they reach "teenage" years, to 18 when they can vote, to 21 when they can drink, to 25 when they can rent a car... kids don't have a distinct time to know when they are expected to be "grown up". As a result, adults end up inadvertently crippling them by not having distinct expectations. Kids also live through several years in a period of confusion, trying different things to attain "grown up status" - and not having a healthy perspective on what godly adulthood looks like. I would absolutely recommend this book to ANY parent - I think it's really an incredible synopsis of how our culture has done our kids' a disservice in the last decades, and it strongly equips parents to change this phenomenon within their own families with a very Biblical foundation.

[A.C. Bauch · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started this book forever and a day ago, before we even had a child. And now that we do have a child, I figured that now was an opportune time to revisit this book.

One of the main reasons this book resonated with me is because I recognize how the lack of the "essential experiences" the author describes have impacted my own life. And how much better off I would have been had some of his strategies been implemented by my parents.

I also appreciated the author's refrain that as a parent, my responsibility isn't to raise a good kid; it's to raise a responsible adult. I've always strongly felt that my job is to teach my child to live life without me, and every step he takes toward independence (even if right now that just means learning to feed himself) means that I'm doing what I'm called to do.

Even though his ideas are based on biblical principles and geared toward a Christian audience, I think many parents could benefit from the ideas in this book. If nothing else, it might help some mystified parents understand the cultural changes that have impacted childhood and adolescence, and what can be done to counteract those changes.

[John Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this excellent book Walker Moore highlights how the move from rural close knit communities to the cities have affected how we have raised children which has led to so many of the problems we observe. He then seeks to help parents re-capture what has been lost by giving 4 life skills:

1. A rite of passage - a (or a set of) clearly defined event(s) that mark the transition into adulthood
2. Significant tasks - that can demonstrate their worth
3. Logical consequences - so that they learn great choices
4. Grace deposits - meaningful ways to communicate their value

Walker Moore knows what he is talking about - he has worked with youth for many years in particular as the chaplain of a police department and so this is packed full of practical examples - but he is also honest about his shortcomings - so this book is not a preach but a "learn from my mistakes". Highly recommended.