So many of us stretch our faces with smiles wide enough to mask the pain we hide. So many of us go through the motions—attending church, giving service, nurturing our families, learning and doing— while inside we feel empty, broken, doubtful, and even guilty for the way we feel. We tell ourselves that if we’d only work harder, we would somehow earn the blessings of peace, security, and unconditional love that we hunger for. But are we ever wrong! Simply by virtue of being a child of God, each of us is already loved beyond comprehension, without boundaries or conditions. Yet sadly, many of us leave this heavenly gift unopened. Using the scriptures, words of prophets, insightful analogies, and stories drawn from poignant personal experiences, author Toni Sorenson illuminates the pathway toward opening this gift of divine love and finding lasting peace even amidst the shadows and storms of life. As we come to focus on God’s goodness rather than our own weakness, we will recognize our own infinite worth, develop confidence in the plan of happiness, strengthen our ability to identify and overcome the lies of Satan, discover the power within us to find wholeness and help others heal, and experience for ourselves how good trumps evil. No matter what our disappointment or failure or loss may be, allowing ourselves to be defined by Christ will lift us out of darkness and into His light.
My sister gave me this book which in itself is awesome! She and I have never been very close, she lives in Texas at the moment and we have never talked much even when she lived near me here in Utah, and for the fact that she doesn't read much herself. But she found this book, then all of a sudden she is texting me quotes from this "awesome book" she found. So she bought it for me to read. I was excited to dive into it when it came in the mail within the next week.
Even though we haven't been close, she has known that I have struggled with depression for 99% of my last 22 years. She also used to struggle with depression before she got married and now has 4 kids and looks like she has the life she's always wanted. In fact, she does have what she always says she's wanted and I do pray that she has found happiness. She says she has so I hope that's true and I'm happy for her.
Back to the book. So while both she and I struggled with more than the lows of life, we both have been diagnosed with depression, me with bipolar disorder--manic-depression, so we know what it's like to feel utterly useless and in deep despair. Sometimes for me this has been because of circumstances in life, and sometime it has been because of the chemical imbalance in my brain when my medications aren't working correctly. But either way, I'm down to the ground in anguish. This is how Toni Sorenson is explaining how she feels at this point in her life. She explains that she is facing a divorce with children and her fears and feelings of despair.
She realizes that she doesn't know herself. She has always seen herself as in what others have said or what she thinks they think of her. She rates herself on other's points of view and not on her own value. And not, as she comes to realize, on what the Lord sees in her. So instead of seeing her true worth-- a daughter of a Heavenly Father, a divine being, so wonderful and worthy of His love, she sees someone who is broken, a failure. And she is wallowing in her self pity.
She says she goes to the scriptures quite frequently. She says she's always been active in church, gone to activities, had various callings, thought she had a testimony...but was in not real? Did she not know God? She said in her own words "To know yourself, you need to know God". So she set out to know God first.
Okay, so I just summarized a little bit, I'll state how I feel about this. She says she always goes to her scriptures. Well, that's what we are instructed to do. "feast upon the words of Christ...for they shall show you what ye shall do". If she's always going to the scriptures, why has it taken her this long to find an answer? Did she never really "feast" upon the words? Just read them? Because she would have found solace, comfort and answers way before the time that she did. I know this from experience, and I know this from what every prophet living and from the past has ever said and written. She wrote repeatedly how she went to the scriptures. Well, that is a good thing to put in the book. A good example. To all of you who are taking notes on how to get your own answers, yes, that is one of the only ways to do it. But I didn't need to hear it a million times, and after hearing it so many times, I did wonder why she didn't already have her answer.
Next, I understand that she wrote this story of her own in order to be able to help anyone else who reads her book. So she is writing to us, the readers. She basically commands me to do THIS! Begs me to do this! Because it worked for her. She does admit that everyone will have a somewhat different experience, but going about it should be about the same. But don't tell me what to do, sista. That was annoying. I guess because I already know what to do. I've done it before. And I'll keep doing it as the need arises.
I'll go on and come back to that. She said one must know God to know themselves. Well, I want to know God more. I can never know enough, I want to know "all the mysteries of the kingdom" someday. And I study hard! I read doctrine only written by apostles and prophets and the scriptures. I've done this for years. So when she started out the first paragraph with 1) God has a body of flesh and bones oh please! Really? Maybe that's not common knowledge, but I thought it was among people of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! We know that, don't we? Yes, to know the characteristics of God is good, one thing. But I want to know a LOT more about Him, I want to know Him! And by her outlining a few paragraphs of some simple characteristics, she's not going to help me know Him better.
And I feel that she is trying to get a testimony of the Savior. I only got to page 49 before I put it down. No, I didn't finish it, nor do I plan to waste any more time. I'm sorry, I have more doctrine to read. But I got the feeling that she needed to know that Jesus Christ was and is who He says He is. She doesn't have a testimony that He is the Savior, Redeemer. Okay, that can be a struggle for many people. I feel VERY blessed that this has never been a struggle for me. I have always had a firm testimony that Jesus Christ is the Savior, the Redeemer, the Son of the Living God. And I will always know that and never deny that. So I don't need to read any more about her finding that out for herself. What good does that do me?
And there has never been a point in my life when I have felt beyond the reach of His or Heavenly Father's love. I have felt lonely, alone, and misunderstood. I have felt forsaken by everyone on earth. I have felt that I have nowhere to go. I have felt that I don't want to exist. But I have always known that They love me perfectly no matter what I have done or what I do or will do. They will always love me no matter what. And that does NOT mean that everything I do is okay by them. No! They don't condone all of my behavior, but they don't love me any less.
There. if anyone read my review and hasn't read the book, maybe I could have just saved you time and told you what she took 144 pages to say. YOU ARE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY no matter what!!! We all are. I know this, I've always know this. And I'm not bragging or being prideful. No, not at all, I'm giving all the credit to God because it is a divine blessing that I do know this. It states that in my Pat. Blessing that I was given the gift to know that Jesus is the Christ. And I'm very grateful to have this gift.
So, though my sister meant well, maybe those were some of her reasons for feeling depressed in the past, they were not my reasons. And don't apply at all to me now, as I'm not even in depression at the moment. I thank my sister for thinking of me, that really means a lot to me! But, to those of you who hold a strong testimony that God loves you, that Jesus is the Christ, your Savior, your Mediator and your Friend, and that you CAN get any answer through the Holy Ghost in the scriptures or through prayer, through blessings, in your mind or heart, I know these things and have experienced every single one of them. And I just asked that if YOU know all of this, you might want to re-think taking the time to read the book. It's up to you.
Sorry, Toni. I see that it touched a lot of other people, and for that I am glad. I'm glad it was good for them. They need it! I just...don't. But thank you anyway!
I really enjoyed this book. She wrote this book for people who don't feel like Jesus loves them and they let the world define them. Toward the end of the book she also said she wrote the book for a friend who's toddler drowned in the bathtub when she was in the next room. This woman cannot forgive herself and does not think that Jesus could possibly love her after what she did.
I am not someone who feels like Jesus doesn't love me. I can feel his love everyday but reading it felt like wrapping a warm blanket around me. It was so comforting to my soul. She uses personal experiences, scriptures, quotes from apostles of the Lord and stories from LDS church history to teach us how Heavenly Father and Jesus see us and how truly wonderful we are in their eyes. I loved it. I want to read it again someday.
I enjoyed this author’s witness of Christ and the reminder to be defined by Him and our identity as children of God rather than defining ourselves by our fears, critics, mistakes, or failures. Each chapter is based on powerful truths we can live by.
This is a very heart felt and emotional book that many people will be able to relate to. The author writes about her struggle with feeling that she was ever worthy of the love of God because of things that had happened in her life, and how she overcame that struggle. In the world we live in now, where anxieties are high and we compare ourselves to the “perfect” standards that social media portrays, it is very easy to fall into that mindset of not being enough and feeling that nobody could ever love us, especially God. There were so many personal experiences from the author that I related to as well. I have my good moments when I know my Father and Savior love me unconditionally, and I have my moments when I want to try and hide from them feeling unworthy of their love. This book is a beautiful perspective on how truly unconditional the love of our Savior is and that we are always worthy of that love.
I liked how this book tied real life experience of the author to the scriptures and words of living prophets. The author did not over do it with details of her personal life, but instead wrote in generalities that I could relate to.
This book would be good for Someone who is having a hard time loving themselves or forgiving themselves. I don’t particularly struggle with either of these things but I still appreciated the perspective and reminders.
I finished this book and immediately started again. I was listening to the audio book, but had received the paper copy from a friend when questioning my worth. At the end, you are nodding along and it clicks together and then it is over. Great read.
Shortly after I started working with my trainer last year, she recommended that I read Defined by Christ. It had changed her life during an incredibly stressful and discouraging time. With all of the books on my to-read list, I never got around to reading it. However, since I was lucky enough to interview Toni Sorenson for Utah Book Month, I moved it to the top of the list.
Too often we place the value of ourselves on things or situations we can’t control and people whose opinions don’t really matter. It’s easy to lose confidence when we allow ourselves to be defined by these things that are changing, unpredictable and flawed. When I was younger I tried so hard to be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be while struggling to remain true to myself. It was an impossible goal and I failed all around. As I grew older and closer to my Savior, I realized many of the truths that Toni shares in Defined by Christ.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:
"In the Doctrine and Covenants we are told, “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (D&C 18:10). We are not told to learn that the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. We are not told to understand. We are told to remember. That can mean only one thing: at some point we knew our worth in the sight of God." (page 19)
I never thought of that scripture in that way until now.
"God would not have sacrificed His Son to save us if these two principles wer not true: (1) We need saving; and (2) We are worth saving." (page 68)
I love this truth!
"We cannot trust others to determine our worth. We can’t even trust ourselves to determine our worth. We have to train ourselves to listen, believe, and act on the only voice that matters–Christ’s voice." (page 72)
At 147 pages, Defined by Christ is a fairly quick read, but you’ll want your own copy to highlight and refer back to when you are feeling doubtful or discouraged. When I told my trainer about my interview with Toni Sorenson, she shared with me that she had just dropped off a copy to a friend who needed it.
As a woman, I know that we can be way too hard and critical of ourselves, often doubting our abilities and our worth. While I highly recommend Defined by Christ to all women, anyone would benefit from reading it. I am going to purchase my own copy and let my daughter read it. As a young woman, she is still trying to discover who she is. I want her to never doubt who she is–a precious daughter of our Heavenly Father who loves her and values her more than she can possibly comprehend.
A beautiful book that takes the question "What think ye of Christ?" and changes it to "What does Christ think of you?" That's a very personal and profound question to answer and I thought this author did a very good job at it! My personal favorite part- "Consider these facts: Albert Einstein's teacher told his parents that he would never amount to anything of worth. A coaching staff cut Michael Jordan from his high school basketball team. A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney for lacking creativity. Beethoven's piano teacher called him a "hopeless composer." Steven Spielberg was deemed by counselors to be "learning disabled." Winston Churchill failed sixth grade; he was subsequently defeated in every election for public office until he became prime minister at the age of sixty-two. After one of his many defeats, Abraham Lincoln wrote to a friend, "I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on earth." You get the picture. We cannot trust others to determine our worth. We can't even trust ourselves to determine our worth. We have to train ourselves to listen, believe, and act on the only voice that matters-Christ's voice. He says, "Come follow me." If we do that, we will end up where He is. Think about that! I promise you that your worth in God's estimation is infinite. The fact that you are here on earth at this time is no mistake. You are here now because you are deemed worthy and needed. You have a work to do that no one else on earth can accomplish like you can. Even when you mess up cataclysmically, there is hope. There is forgiveness. There is a future so bright you'll have to wear mega-powered sunglasses just to glimpse it. Our Father in Heaven and our Savior stand ready to cheer us on, to pick us up when we fall, and to carry us across the finish line if we've worn ourselves out in the cause of the kingdom. It's time to stop worrying about our worth, to stop measuring ourselves against someone else, to focus instead on the Ultimate Example of both humility and confidence. It's time to stand taller, to smile wider, to live higher, and to follow Christ in doing what He does best: being about His Father's business."
I am not sure I would actually say I 'liked it' with this book, but because the fundamental message is important and beautiful, I give it the 3 stars.
The title comes from the scripture 'What think ye of Christ?' and she realized that it was just as important to ask 'What does Christ think of me?' His opinion of us is the only one that really matters.
The author wants you to know that God the Father and Jesus Christ love you. Period. Regardless of anything and everything - which is a truth that is sometimes difficult to grasp for some people. I have actually never felt that I 'wasn't worthy' or didn't deserve God's love - I have a basic and unshakable belief that He DOES love me! But Sorenson's message is aimed unerringly on those who feel that God loves everyone but themselves.
I had a few points that I flat out disagreed with, but, again, the bottom line message is good.
Lastly, the book is not really helpful - in some ways even harmful - to those who have clinical depression.
This is such a positive book. The author shares experiences from her life when she was down, alone and felt no self worth. She walks us through her transformation of understanding what a child of God really means and the blessings of the atonement that cover all aspects of our lives, not only our sins. The author helps everyone to see that God does in fact love each and everyone of us.
Just because we experience hard, unjust and difficult things in our lives, doesn't mean God doesn't love us. Satan is constantly throwing things in our paths to see if we will stumble.
One of my favorite lines from the book is: First we hurt, then we heal, and then we help other people who are hurting. This book does an excellent job of doing just that.
This book is filled with powerful messages about finding our true worth and value! I loved it! I feel like every teenager should read this book so they can come to see their true worth through the eyes of the Savior. There are so many messages in the world and through the media about finding worth through clothes, popularity, championships, money, etc. that this message is truly needed. How many are committing suicide who once had worldly success and didn't find lasting peace and value? Tooo many!!!! I love the message of this book and will share it for years to come with youth groups I have the opportunity to teach.
This was such a fantastic book for me to read right now. With school starting, I find more and more that I allow myself to be defined by others than Christ -- students, parents and administrators. One or two bad situations will always make me question myself and who I am. While I haven't been through nearly the difficult experiences in my life that Toni Sorenson has been through in hers, I have felt many of the feelings she described. I loved hearing how she overcame them. It helped rejuvenate me and give me hope to keep trying in spite of my mistakes.
Thank you, Toni, for being so honest with your readers. Without detailing the hardships and trials, Toni weaves powerful teachings of truth from page to page taking readers on a journey to discover how to define themselves through the Lord, Jesus Christ. Anyone who reads this will come away feeling better about herself/himself and strengthened by the love of a caring Creator and the support of a willing Savior.
The author teaches how to open the pathway towards opening the divine gift of love and accepting the atonement in our own lives. She teaches that we need to focus on our own infinite worth rather than our own every day weaknesses. It was delightful and I enjoyed reading it. It was a great reminder of truths we already know but sometimes don't always embrace. She teaches a lot about how important it is to develop confidence in the plan of happiness.
I officially have a new favorite book. Defined by Christ is insightful and heartfelt and full of light and hope. I loved Toni Sorenson's writing style. She was so sincere; I felt like I was talking to a friend when I read it. So beautiful. I would be in a very different place (emotionally and spiritually) if I hadn't read this. I would recommend it to anyone, but especially to those struggling to find their worth and their identity.
I love books that make me look at life differently and want to be a better person. Some things were new that made me think "Wow" and others gave me another perspective on things I alread knew. Really, it doesn't matter what the world thinks of us and the label it gives us. What the Lord thinks of us is the most important. A must read!!!
I really liked this book. For those who struggle with who they are, guilt, depression, fear, etc., this book is for you. The author does a very good job relating the fact that we are all defined by Christ and what that entails. There were many great examples, scriptures, quotes and personal experiences that she drew on to make for a really good read!
I actually "read" this on a book on CD. I liked it. The author uses many examples from her life. She lists various things we can do to lean more on Christ and to believe we are important to our Heavenly Father.
Don't be defined by what you think others are labeling you as. Allow your self to be defined by Christ and be filled with that love. The main message of the book is to search and feel Christ's love. Very uplifting.
Toni generously shared her heart and her insights in this book and led me to ponder how I want to change and improve my own life. Thank you, Toni, for putting so many things in perspective.