Understanding Your Crying Baby

by Sheila Kitzinger

Your baby is not your enemy. Neither do parents need a degree in baby management to successfully raise a bright and happy child. According to Shiela Kitzinger, the world's best known childbirth educator, parents already have the natural nurturing instincts that are needed. But her book can help. It sets out the reasons why babies cry, explains how parents feel about it, and describes what they can do to ease the crying.

Genres: Parenting

Paperback

First published October 1, 2005

About the author

Sheila Kitzinger M.B.E, M.Litt is a social anthropologist of birth and author of 24 books published internationally, most on the emotional journey through this major life experience. At Oxford in the 50s she discovered that the social anthropology of that time was almost entirely about men. She decided she would do research to discover what was important in women's lives, and focused on pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding.
Her five children were all born at home. She lectures widely in different countries and has learned from mothers and midwives in the USA and Canada, the Caribbean, Eastern and Western Europe, Israel, Australia and New Zealand, Latin America, South Africa and Japan, and from women in prison and those who have had a traumatic birth experience.

Reviews

[Yvette · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Understanding Your Crying Baby, Sheila Kitzinger explores the emotional and physiological needs behind infant crying, reframing it not as a problem to be fixed but as a vital form of communication. With her trademark empathy and deep respect for the parent-baby relationship, Kitzinger supports parents to respond confidently and compassionately, while challenging the cultural narratives that promote detachment or dismissal of infant distress.

Why It’s Included
This book aligns perfectly with the principles of responsive, attachment-based parenting. Kitzinger draws from both science and lived experience, reminding us that babies cry to express real needs and that parental intuition is a valid and valuable guide. Her work helps to dismantle myths around spoiling, self-soothing, and rigid routines, offering reassurance to parents who choose connection over control.

Who It’s For
Ideal for expectant and new parents, doulas, birth workers, and anyone supporting families in the early months. It is especially valuable for those feeling overwhelmed or anxious about crying and looking for gentle, research-informed reassurance.

“Crying is how infants alert caregivers of their needs. It is the fundamental communication, present from birth. While parents cannot always identify why a baby is crying, hey are compelled to always respond and reassure the baby they are not alone, they are heard and they are safe. In the face of prescriptive routines denying the infant’s right to be heard, Kitzinger explains how and why responsive care is vital to infant security.”
— Yvette O'Dowd

[Adriel · Rating 2 out of 5]

On one hand this book did have a few good tips on how to deal with crying and what could cause crying on the other hand
-the chapter for pregnant women said while being pregnant stress may cause your baby to end up crying more once it's born, THEN proceeded to list in horrible detail all the many situations that could cause stress to a pregnant woman giving many examples...I'm sorry is this suppose to make me feel less stressed? It did end with some helpful tips to avoid stress, I would recommend just skipping to this bit.
-the father chapter, upon starting to read it I assumed it was for fathers to be to read, but instead it just seemed to be a long moan against men not being good enough fathers. In fact this is a theme through most of the book the author seems to hate men. Oddly enough again at the end of the chapter is switches the theme of moaning to helpful suggestions for the actual father.

I haven't read any other crying book yet, but I suspect they would be more helpful. Or read the chapter on crying in French Children Don't Throw Food, that was good.