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While I Was Gone
A decade ago she put a face on every mother's worst nightmare with her phenomenal best-seller The Good Mother. Now, Sue Miller delivers a spellbinding novel of love and betrayal that explores what it means to be a good wife.
In the summer of 1968, Jo Becker ran out on the marriage and the life her parents wanted for her, and escaped--for one beautiful, idyllic year--into a life that was bohemian and romantic, living under an assumed name in a rambling group house in Cambridge. It was a time of limitless possibility, but it ended in a single instant when Jo returned home one night to find her best friend lying dead in a pool of blood on the living room floor.
Now Jo has everything she's ever a veterinary practice she loves, a devoted husband, three grown daughters, a beautiful Massachusetts farmhouse. And if occasionally she feels a stranger to herself and wonders what happened to the freedom she once felt, or how she came to be the wife, mother, and doctor her neighbors know and trust--if at times she feels as if her whole life is vanishing behind her as she's living it--she need only look at her daughters or her husband, Daniel, to recall the satisfactions of family and community and marriage.
But when an old housemate settles in her small town, the fabric of Jo's life begins to seduced again by the enticing possibility of another self and another life, she begins a dangerous flirtation that returns her to the darkest moment of her past and imperils all she loves.
While I Was Gone is an exquisitely suspenseful novel about how quickly and casually a marriage can be destroyed, how a good wife can find herself placing all she holds dear at risk. In expert strokes, Sue Miller captures the precariousness of even the strongest ties, the ease with which we abandon each other, and our need to be forgiven. An extraordinary book, her best, from a beloved American writer.
In the summer of 1968, Jo Becker ran out on the marriage and the life her parents wanted for her, and escaped--for one beautiful, idyllic year--into a life that was bohemian and romantic, living under an assumed name in a rambling group house in Cambridge. It was a time of limitless possibility, but it ended in a single instant when Jo returned home one night to find her best friend lying dead in a pool of blood on the living room floor.
Now Jo has everything she's ever a veterinary practice she loves, a devoted husband, three grown daughters, a beautiful Massachusetts farmhouse. And if occasionally she feels a stranger to herself and wonders what happened to the freedom she once felt, or how she came to be the wife, mother, and doctor her neighbors know and trust--if at times she feels as if her whole life is vanishing behind her as she's living it--she need only look at her daughters or her husband, Daniel, to recall the satisfactions of family and community and marriage.
But when an old housemate settles in her small town, the fabric of Jo's life begins to seduced again by the enticing possibility of another self and another life, she begins a dangerous flirtation that returns her to the darkest moment of her past and imperils all she loves.
While I Was Gone is an exquisitely suspenseful novel about how quickly and casually a marriage can be destroyed, how a good wife can find herself placing all she holds dear at risk. In expert strokes, Sue Miller captures the precariousness of even the strongest ties, the ease with which we abandon each other, and our need to be forgiven. An extraordinary book, her best, from a beloved American writer.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1999
290 people are currently reading
18385 people want to read
About the author
Sue Miller
59 books940 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
Sue Miller is an American novelist and short story writer who has written a number of best-selling novels. She graduated from Radcliffe College.
Sue Miller is an American novelist and short story writer who has written a number of best-selling novels. She graduated from Radcliffe College.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,572 reviews
September 2, 2008
This story of a wife and mother suddenly revisiting her past had great moments and held my attention. Still it had long, boring passages.
I found the protagonist annoying and self-indulgent in a way that didn't jibe at all with the way she thought of herself. Further, her inability to see it, even in the end left me unsatisfied.
At points, her descriptions and observations, while interesting and well drawn, dragged on. Her focus on minutia rang untrue to me, her description of her marriage and her husband was so perfect, that it made what followed wholly unbelievable.
In fact, all the male characters in this book, from her husband, to Eli, to the other men in "the house" felt more like a woman's fantasy of what a man is than anyone I've actually known.
Not a bad pick if you're willing to have a quick read, nostalgic for the 60s, and willing to not think too much.
I found the protagonist annoying and self-indulgent in a way that didn't jibe at all with the way she thought of herself. Further, her inability to see it, even in the end left me unsatisfied.
At points, her descriptions and observations, while interesting and well drawn, dragged on. Her focus on minutia rang untrue to me, her description of her marriage and her husband was so perfect, that it made what followed wholly unbelievable.
In fact, all the male characters in this book, from her husband, to Eli, to the other men in "the house" felt more like a woman's fantasy of what a man is than anyone I've actually known.
Not a bad pick if you're willing to have a quick read, nostalgic for the 60s, and willing to not think too much.
July 1, 2009
Can we say Boring? Oh it really was...She jumped from her current life to her teenage years back and forth like a ping pong ball..And when I finished the book I sat there question what was the whole point of reading it? I mean yes there was an issue that was solved but it just didn't say much about the story. I found a review by another woman on good reads and I have to say I agree with her 100 percent...She says
I liked this book until I realized that I has 1/3 of the way through and couldn't figure out where things were going. And, I figured out I didn't like the lying, cheating central character, who was writing from her own perspective (first person) and absolutely oblivious to how she was hurting people. Even at the end of the book, when she'd had her "epiphany," it was no epiphany, and she did not change, she just found better ways to cover up her lying and cheating.
That about sums up how I felt reading it.
I liked this book until I realized that I has 1/3 of the way through and couldn't figure out where things were going. And, I figured out I didn't like the lying, cheating central character, who was writing from her own perspective (first person) and absolutely oblivious to how she was hurting people. Even at the end of the book, when she'd had her "epiphany," it was no epiphany, and she did not change, she just found better ways to cover up her lying and cheating.
That about sums up how I felt reading it.
October 20, 2007
Okay, okay, I know it's on Oprah's Book Club now, but really, some great books are - don't let your possible distate for Oprah Winfrey deter you from reading this book.
Sue Miller is a wonderful writer, and the story in While I Was Gone is incredibly compelling. I read it in one sitting and ignored chores for it. It's easy to read, conversational, straightforward. It seems for many pages that it's going to be a nostalgic memoir, about a middle-aged woman, in a long, comfortable marriage past its passionate days; a mother and veterinarian, looking back on her college days when she lived in a semi-communal household with a bunch of college friends in the '70s. Then strange things start to happen, and suddenly, it has turned into a bizarre murder mystery, with a shocking revelation when she finds out who did it. I remember getting to that part and actually saying, "Oh my god!" when the big reveal came.
The trick Sue Miller has is that her main character is SO believable. You know a ton of women like her. You may even be one. She's such a normal, flawed yet admirable, totally human person, that when things start getting shockingly weird, it resonates, because it makes you wonder how you would act if you were in the same situation?
I really love reading books which make you feel compassion for people who do horrible things. Like Lolita. It's a difficult trick to pull off, but it's such a humane point of view, and so much more realistic than the good guys/bad guys dichotomy of so many novels. Sometimes good people do really bad things, and the line is not so far away as we like to think... it's a great book and a quick read.
I find it odd that people will put a book down simply because the main character does something they don't approve of. I don't think Sue Miller was justifying, or advocating, infidelity at all in While I Was Gone. In fact, I believe she was trying to show how precious, yet fragile, marriage can be: Marriage is not the fairy tale it is sometimes made out to be. It can be dull, frustrating, crushing. It's real life, and passion fades, and you find yourself in a comfortable companionship with many rewards, but like the protagonist in this book, many married people find themselves wistfully wishing something exciting would happen - missing the flush of attraction, the ego-rush of being desired. That doesn't make the protagonist a bad person; it makes her real. And, in the end, she doesn't sleep with Eli - the whole point, to me, was how close she came - that she WOULD have done it, she would have thrown away her marriage, which would have devastated her, just to feel young and excited and wanted again. I think this is something we can all relate to. It's a nice fantasy, to think that you meet The One, marry him, and never ever miss being flirted with or desired or in passionate love. And one of the most interesting and realistic things in the book, to me, is that she would have done it, if she hadn't found out what she did, about Eli. Her husband, when she confesses her attraction, says it exactly - he tells her that one of the hardest things is that she has put him in the position of being grateful that Eli did such a horrible thing, so that he got to keep his marriage. And she is so relieved that she didn't throw her marriage away. Far from advocating infidelity, it's really more of a cautionary tale about the danger of taking the familiarity of marriage for granted.
I mean, if you don't want to read books about real people leading real lives, there are plenty of romance novels out there.
Sue Miller is a wonderful writer, and the story in While I Was Gone is incredibly compelling. I read it in one sitting and ignored chores for it. It's easy to read, conversational, straightforward. It seems for many pages that it's going to be a nostalgic memoir, about a middle-aged woman, in a long, comfortable marriage past its passionate days; a mother and veterinarian, looking back on her college days when she lived in a semi-communal household with a bunch of college friends in the '70s. Then strange things start to happen, and suddenly, it has turned into a bizarre murder mystery, with a shocking revelation when she finds out who did it. I remember getting to that part and actually saying, "Oh my god!" when the big reveal came.
The trick Sue Miller has is that her main character is SO believable. You know a ton of women like her. You may even be one. She's such a normal, flawed yet admirable, totally human person, that when things start getting shockingly weird, it resonates, because it makes you wonder how you would act if you were in the same situation?
I really love reading books which make you feel compassion for people who do horrible things. Like Lolita. It's a difficult trick to pull off, but it's such a humane point of view, and so much more realistic than the good guys/bad guys dichotomy of so many novels. Sometimes good people do really bad things, and the line is not so far away as we like to think... it's a great book and a quick read.
I find it odd that people will put a book down simply because the main character does something they don't approve of. I don't think Sue Miller was justifying, or advocating, infidelity at all in While I Was Gone. In fact, I believe she was trying to show how precious, yet fragile, marriage can be: Marriage is not the fairy tale it is sometimes made out to be. It can be dull, frustrating, crushing. It's real life, and passion fades, and you find yourself in a comfortable companionship with many rewards, but like the protagonist in this book, many married people find themselves wistfully wishing something exciting would happen - missing the flush of attraction, the ego-rush of being desired. That doesn't make the protagonist a bad person; it makes her real. And, in the end, she doesn't sleep with Eli - the whole point, to me, was how close she came - that she WOULD have done it, she would have thrown away her marriage, which would have devastated her, just to feel young and excited and wanted again. I think this is something we can all relate to. It's a nice fantasy, to think that you meet The One, marry him, and never ever miss being flirted with or desired or in passionate love. And one of the most interesting and realistic things in the book, to me, is that she would have done it, if she hadn't found out what she did, about Eli. Her husband, when she confesses her attraction, says it exactly - he tells her that one of the hardest things is that she has put him in the position of being grateful that Eli did such a horrible thing, so that he got to keep his marriage. And she is so relieved that she didn't throw her marriage away. Far from advocating infidelity, it's really more of a cautionary tale about the danger of taking the familiarity of marriage for granted.
I mean, if you don't want to read books about real people leading real lives, there are plenty of romance novels out there.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 13, 2008
Somewhat unwillingly,I reread this novel for a book group.
And I found details about Sue Miller's style that I had not
paid attention to in my first go round.She is a master of
natural description and I slowed to savor the snow falling
in New England and the pleasures of walking the dogs late on an autumn evening.
Miller strikes me as both a highly moral author and one who is scrupulously honest about her characters inner thoughts and motives. The tension between these results in
gripping prose and in characters we don't completely like,but
in whom we believe. I am always a bit uncomfortable when I
have read a Miller novel,but I have not missed one.
And I found details about Sue Miller's style that I had not
paid attention to in my first go round.She is a master of
natural description and I slowed to savor the snow falling
in New England and the pleasures of walking the dogs late on an autumn evening.
Miller strikes me as both a highly moral author and one who is scrupulously honest about her characters inner thoughts and motives. The tension between these results in
gripping prose and in characters we don't completely like,but
in whom we believe. I am always a bit uncomfortable when I
have read a Miller novel,but I have not missed one.
July 23, 2008
I expect every Oprah's book club pick to get 3 stars (unless the book's by Toni Morrison). While I Was Gone is that special breed of book that plummeted to 2- and 1-star territory after chapter 10.
The novel started out well enough. I empathized with Jo, the main character, as she looked back on running away from an unsatisfying relationship. I understood that you can detest a particular lifestyle at one point of your life, and find it's exactly what you need at another. (Happy relationships are all about finding the right person, right?) I even found myself missing the dynamic of having roommates.
The main problem with this book is that Miller makes Jo completely unlikable. She is easily bored with her life and makes poor decisions based on that boredom and self-centered indulgence. It turns out some of her decisions are misguided, and I would have relished in the character's embarrassment if I still cared about the story at all by the end of the book.
The worst part is that Miller admits she didn't like Jo and began this novel because she had writer's block on another book. Oh well, I'll just chock this one up to a bad read.
The novel started out well enough. I empathized with Jo, the main character, as she looked back on running away from an unsatisfying relationship. I understood that you can detest a particular lifestyle at one point of your life, and find it's exactly what you need at another. (Happy relationships are all about finding the right person, right?) I even found myself missing the dynamic of having roommates.
The main problem with this book is that Miller makes Jo completely unlikable. She is easily bored with her life and makes poor decisions based on that boredom and self-centered indulgence. It turns out some of her decisions are misguided, and I would have relished in the character's embarrassment if I still cared about the story at all by the end of the book.
The worst part is that Miller admits she didn't like Jo and began this novel because she had writer's block on another book. Oh well, I'll just chock this one up to a bad read.
October 28, 2010
Thank God book club is tonight. Because the minute I closed this book (in fact, a few pages from the end even), I was torn by a desperate desire to discuss this book in depth with someone! So many intriguing topics and issues she brings up. One that struck me as very profound is this: Jo has a happy life. Three young adult daughters more or less succeeding in the real world, a successful work life, a wonderful husband, happy marriage, cute dogs, adorable house. And yet, (or perhaps because of) she is not happy. Her whole life has been a striving. To figure out who she is, what she wants, what will make her happy, how to find it, is this the right man? What about this one? How to raise the children well? To open her own practice? Make a marriage work? And once she got everything squared away, instead of being content and happy, she is restless and discontented. And I worry - is that the fate we all end up with? Do we all end up like that? Do people create chaos in our lives in order to feel alive? Feel like life is still moving forward? I feel like I am more of a Daniel kind of person, Jo's husband, and can be content with a quiet life with few bumps, but will I find myself with a Jo, who eventually will become unmoored by the monotony?
The author interview and the book club questions also talk a lot about the theme of confessions. About how the confessions impact both the confessor and the confessee. But I think that's superficial. The real theme is secrets. That's what really hurts people. Sadie uses that accusation with her mother like a knife, and it cuts her too. Jo keeps secrets from everyone. Her mother keeps secrets. And despite her daughters all saying they hate it, she's likely passed the secret-keeping down. Most notably in Cass, who most of the time no one knows where she even is. At the end of the book when Jo's visiting her mother, who makes her confession about Jo's father, Jo thinks to herself, "It seems we need someone to know us as we are - with all we have done - and forgive us. We need to tell. We need to be whole in someone's sight: Know this about me, and yet love me. Please.
"But it's too much to ask of other people! Too much. Daniel makes it easier on those around him: God is the one he asks to know him as he is, to see him whole and love him still. But for us others, it seems there must be a person to redeem us to ourselves. It isn't enough, apparently, to know oneself. To forgive oneself, in secret." (261)
Is this really what love is all about? Total honesty? I'm not sure I agree. After all, wasn't Jo burdened by Eli's confession? What was gained by her mother's confession? Didn't Jo hurt Daniel with her confession? I think that sometimes love is biting one's tongue and keeping things to yourself that will only hurt the other person. Often we tell ourselves that we are doing the other person a favor by confessing to them, but mostly we are only doing ourselves a favor and hurting them. I know Ms. Miller would disagree with me here. She goes out of her way to show that honesty is the only option and confession is good for the soul, but I think she goes a bit far at times. For instance, when Sadie is mad at her mother for not telling her that when she was young - long before Sadie was born - she had a friend who was killed. But that's not a secret. It's just something that hasn't come up. I know very few people who know much about their parents' lives before they came into them. Some broad brush strokes, sure. You know how your parents met and when, and the circumstances of their wedding. You might know one or two funny stories from an aunt or uncle from when your mother was a little girl. But is it reasonable to know what happened to a woman your mother knew briefly in her early 20s in another city? I don't think so. If my mother told me a story like this, I'd find it interesting, but it wouldn't even occur to me to be angry or to consider she was hiding something. I think Ms. Miller was stretching a bit far in that one detail to make her point.
However, that is a very minor quibble with an otherwise pretty perfect book. The slightly ominous foreshadowing at the beginning allows her to go through a long introduction and set up of the characters, and just as you're starting to think it's a pleasant book but nothing really happens - bam! Something very interesting happens with perfect timing. And then the repercussions play out, but it's not quite over even though life has gone on, and you know there's more to the story, and if you're not a dolt like me and read the author interview at the back when you're halfway through the book and spoil the second big surprise yourself, you'll get a second big surprise, with further repercussions, and it's a brilliantly plotted book. The characters are great - there's a lot of them but they're all pretty three dimensional and easy to keep track of. I especially liked the bickering between the sisters even as they are entering adulthood. I get a little frustrated with how most of pop culture insists once you turn 18, all sibling rivalry will just vanish and everyone suddenly will become best friends as that certainly isn't true. The passing of time and the seasons was so visceral, I missed New England a bit.
This book will stay with me for a long time I think. One of the best books I've read this year.
The author interview and the book club questions also talk a lot about the theme of confessions. About how the confessions impact both the confessor and the confessee. But I think that's superficial. The real theme is secrets. That's what really hurts people. Sadie uses that accusation with her mother like a knife, and it cuts her too. Jo keeps secrets from everyone. Her mother keeps secrets. And despite her daughters all saying they hate it, she's likely passed the secret-keeping down. Most notably in Cass, who most of the time no one knows where she even is. At the end of the book when Jo's visiting her mother, who makes her confession about Jo's father, Jo thinks to herself, "It seems we need someone to know us as we are - with all we have done - and forgive us. We need to tell. We need to be whole in someone's sight: Know this about me, and yet love me. Please.
"But it's too much to ask of other people! Too much. Daniel makes it easier on those around him: God is the one he asks to know him as he is, to see him whole and love him still. But for us others, it seems there must be a person to redeem us to ourselves. It isn't enough, apparently, to know oneself. To forgive oneself, in secret." (261)
Is this really what love is all about? Total honesty? I'm not sure I agree. After all, wasn't Jo burdened by Eli's confession? What was gained by her mother's confession? Didn't Jo hurt Daniel with her confession? I think that sometimes love is biting one's tongue and keeping things to yourself that will only hurt the other person. Often we tell ourselves that we are doing the other person a favor by confessing to them, but mostly we are only doing ourselves a favor and hurting them. I know Ms. Miller would disagree with me here. She goes out of her way to show that honesty is the only option and confession is good for the soul, but I think she goes a bit far at times. For instance, when Sadie is mad at her mother for not telling her that when she was young - long before Sadie was born - she had a friend who was killed. But that's not a secret. It's just something that hasn't come up. I know very few people who know much about their parents' lives before they came into them. Some broad brush strokes, sure. You know how your parents met and when, and the circumstances of their wedding. You might know one or two funny stories from an aunt or uncle from when your mother was a little girl. But is it reasonable to know what happened to a woman your mother knew briefly in her early 20s in another city? I don't think so. If my mother told me a story like this, I'd find it interesting, but it wouldn't even occur to me to be angry or to consider she was hiding something. I think Ms. Miller was stretching a bit far in that one detail to make her point.
However, that is a very minor quibble with an otherwise pretty perfect book. The slightly ominous foreshadowing at the beginning allows her to go through a long introduction and set up of the characters, and just as you're starting to think it's a pleasant book but nothing really happens - bam! Something very interesting happens with perfect timing. And then the repercussions play out, but it's not quite over even though life has gone on, and you know there's more to the story, and if you're not a dolt like me and read the author interview at the back when you're halfway through the book and spoil the second big surprise yourself, you'll get a second big surprise, with further repercussions, and it's a brilliantly plotted book. The characters are great - there's a lot of them but they're all pretty three dimensional and easy to keep track of. I especially liked the bickering between the sisters even as they are entering adulthood. I get a little frustrated with how most of pop culture insists once you turn 18, all sibling rivalry will just vanish and everyone suddenly will become best friends as that certainly isn't true. The passing of time and the seasons was so visceral, I missed New England a bit.
This book will stay with me for a long time I think. One of the best books I've read this year.
October 12, 2017
Miller is one of those authors who can't resist taking adjectives and turning them into verbs. The results are horrific. My advice to you is to turn away now, read no further.
"I tried my hardest never to still."
"The animals gentled and stilled."
"Her laugh shrilled."
"The flesh of her neck was silvered with sweat."
As with all books that have "reading group discussion guides" at the back, I find it hard to say anything about this book. For all of the long, prodding questions the discussion guide wants us to think about, I couldn't rouse myself to think about any of them for more than a split second. "Should all secrets be told?" I don't know. No? "Are thoughts in and of themselves, dangerous? Immoral?" If I had read more philosophy I might be able to answer these questions. "Discuss the theme of forgiveness in the novel." See, this is why I am not keen on Oprah's Book Club or "reading group discussion guides." Leave me alone! Why should this slight creampuff of a novel engender so many discussions?
I will say that a note in the book that rang false was the protagonist's marriage to a minister. (The protagonist had a brief starter marriage, fled her husband without telling anyone where she was going, lived in a communal house under a fake name, her best friend in the house was murdered, she divorced the husband, became a veterinarian, married the minister and had three daughters.) Jo is not "a person of faith." Now, I have spent a lot of time in church. In church and in churches. Church and I know each other well. It is not plausible that Daniel would have married this completely secular woman. Perhaps such a thing could happen in a Protestant denomination today, but they got married in the 1970s, when churches were more conservative overall and there were certain expectations of the ministerial spouse. Jo and Daniel do explain to the church's search committee that she will not be a typical minister's wife....but. There is no way that Daniel will have devoted his whole life to the ministry and then bind himself - for life - to a spouse who doesn't buy into any of it.
August 1, 2007
One of the benefits to reading So Damn Much is I often forget what I've consumed, allowing me to discover it all over again.
I spent the first 20 pages of While I Was Gone thinking it felt very familiar, but I couldn't quite put it all together. I was viewing the story through a veil of forgetfulness.
So on this reread, I was able to invest in the characters, immerse in the world and be surprised all over again.
I spent the first 20 pages of While I Was Gone thinking it felt very familiar, but I couldn't quite put it all together. I was viewing the story through a veil of forgetfulness.
So on this reread, I was able to invest in the characters, immerse in the world and be surprised all over again.
March 29, 2013
I first read this book 10+ years ago when it was chosen as an Oprah's Book Club pick. I liked it well enough then to hang on to my copy; I don't keep every book, because I just don't have the space, so I'm very choosy about what I do keep. I knew I'd want to reread this one some day, and I'm glad that I did.
Veterinarian Jo Becker lives a comfortable existance in a small New England town, married with three grown daughters who are out of the house. Comfortable, that is, until someone from her past reenters her life and causes her to reflect on a summer in her 20's (some 25 years ago) when she lived in a communal house with six other people. That summer of 1968 ended with the murder of one of the housemates. Jo's recollection of this time is my favorite part of the book; it only takes up about 1/3 of the pages, and I would've really liked to have read more about that than her present life, which tended to drag on and be a bit dry at times. But the parts about her prior life made the dry parts worth pushing through, and worthy of a 5-star rating.
My only complaints are the previously mentioned dryness at times, and the fact that I couldn't relate to the main character. As much as I loved the story itself, I really didn't like Jo very much. She made selfish decisions that hurt other people, and I found myself judging her for it. Just like in real life, though, right? I appreciated that the characters were realistic and well-developed, even if I didn't like some of them.
Small warning to dog lovers -- there is some sadness in the beginning of the book when Jo has to euthanize an older dog :( I hate reading about such things, but I pushed through it.
Veterinarian Jo Becker lives a comfortable existance in a small New England town, married with three grown daughters who are out of the house. Comfortable, that is, until someone from her past reenters her life and causes her to reflect on a summer in her 20's (some 25 years ago) when she lived in a communal house with six other people. That summer of 1968 ended with the murder of one of the housemates. Jo's recollection of this time is my favorite part of the book; it only takes up about 1/3 of the pages, and I would've really liked to have read more about that than her present life, which tended to drag on and be a bit dry at times. But the parts about her prior life made the dry parts worth pushing through, and worthy of a 5-star rating.
My only complaints are the previously mentioned dryness at times, and the fact that I couldn't relate to the main character. As much as I loved the story itself, I really didn't like Jo very much. She made selfish decisions that hurt other people, and I found myself judging her for it. Just like in real life, though, right? I appreciated that the characters were realistic and well-developed, even if I didn't like some of them.
Small warning to dog lovers -- there is some sadness in the beginning of the book when Jo has to euthanize an older dog :( I hate reading about such things, but I pushed through it.
November 28, 2013
Endings are hard on people. They're even harder on novels. By the time readers arrive at the end of a story, they've built up an emotional and intellectual investment. They've earned - or think they've earned - a certain expertise about the plot, the tone, and the characters in between the covers.
Novelists can get away with anything at the start of a book, but by the end, like it or not, writers are entangled in a kind of collaboration with their audience.
Two of last year's finest books slipped off their tracks toward the end. After an intense first half, Barbara Kingsolver's "Poisonwood Bible" fractures into a collection of stories that dissipate her novel's power. "A Man in Full," Tom Wolfe's enormous and otherwise wonderful book, concludes as though the writer were running late for an appointment.
Unfortunately, the same could be said for Sue Miller's engaging new novel, "While I Was Gone." What's good about Miller's writing is remarkably good. But in the end, the structure of this book is unsound. Its conclusion doesn't satisfy the high standards it sets for itself.
The frank narrator, Jo Becker, has it all: a beautifully restored farmhouse in western Massachusetts, a satisfying career as a veterinarian, and an understanding husband who adores her and his own job as a minister.
Jo is the first to acknowledge that hers is a wonderful life, and yet when lazily napping at one end of her husband's fishing boat, she's haunted by a nagging sense of dissatisfaction. "I had felt something like this every now and then in the last year or so, sometimes at work as I tightened a stitch or gave an injection: the awareness of having done this a thousand times before, or surely having a thousand times left to do it again. Of doing it well and thoroughly and neatly, as I like to do things, and simultaneously of being at a great distance from my own action."
Miller is a master at plumbing the confluence of emotions that run through a long, loving marriage. In this highly confessional narrative, Jo trusts her husband enough to air her flashes of self-pity and episodes of melodramatic regret. They speak to one another in a mixture of affection, wisdom, and gentle mocking that only years of intimacy can build. And though she doesn't share her husband's religious faith, they've negotiated a profound respect for each other's beliefs.
We're introduced to this admirable marriage just a moment before it's stretched to the breaking point. A chance encounter puts Jo back in touch with Eli, a friend from her hippie days in Cambridge. Both have thoroughly remade themselves since their bohemian days in the late '60s, but their unexpected meeting ignites old feelings of love and regret that threaten to ruin them.
At this crucial point, however, the novel falters. Part of the problem is that Miller hasn't given herself enough room. Jo and Eli find themselves drawn to one another even as they revisit a grisly murder that broke up their commune 30 years ago. Miller moves so expertly through her delicate portrayal of Jo's life in the first 200 pages that it's difficult to understand why she barrels through this complex, exciting material toward the end.
The other problem is that the character of Jo's husband, whom Miller has designed so expertly, reacts with baffling iciness to his wife's temptation to commit adultery. Inexplicably, the immense affection and spiritual wisdom he demonstrates through most of the book doesn't help him react more humanely to his wife's moral struggle. Instead, he withdraws at the moment she needs him most - at the moment we expect him to be there.
"While I Was Gone" remains a beautiful novel that raises fascinating questions about our connection to the people we once were and the ability to remake ourselves, but it's a book that leaves one wanting and deserving more.
http://www.csmonitor.com/1999/0211/p1...
Novelists can get away with anything at the start of a book, but by the end, like it or not, writers are entangled in a kind of collaboration with their audience.
Two of last year's finest books slipped off their tracks toward the end. After an intense first half, Barbara Kingsolver's "Poisonwood Bible" fractures into a collection of stories that dissipate her novel's power. "A Man in Full," Tom Wolfe's enormous and otherwise wonderful book, concludes as though the writer were running late for an appointment.
Unfortunately, the same could be said for Sue Miller's engaging new novel, "While I Was Gone." What's good about Miller's writing is remarkably good. But in the end, the structure of this book is unsound. Its conclusion doesn't satisfy the high standards it sets for itself.
The frank narrator, Jo Becker, has it all: a beautifully restored farmhouse in western Massachusetts, a satisfying career as a veterinarian, and an understanding husband who adores her and his own job as a minister.
Jo is the first to acknowledge that hers is a wonderful life, and yet when lazily napping at one end of her husband's fishing boat, she's haunted by a nagging sense of dissatisfaction. "I had felt something like this every now and then in the last year or so, sometimes at work as I tightened a stitch or gave an injection: the awareness of having done this a thousand times before, or surely having a thousand times left to do it again. Of doing it well and thoroughly and neatly, as I like to do things, and simultaneously of being at a great distance from my own action."
Miller is a master at plumbing the confluence of emotions that run through a long, loving marriage. In this highly confessional narrative, Jo trusts her husband enough to air her flashes of self-pity and episodes of melodramatic regret. They speak to one another in a mixture of affection, wisdom, and gentle mocking that only years of intimacy can build. And though she doesn't share her husband's religious faith, they've negotiated a profound respect for each other's beliefs.
We're introduced to this admirable marriage just a moment before it's stretched to the breaking point. A chance encounter puts Jo back in touch with Eli, a friend from her hippie days in Cambridge. Both have thoroughly remade themselves since their bohemian days in the late '60s, but their unexpected meeting ignites old feelings of love and regret that threaten to ruin them.
At this crucial point, however, the novel falters. Part of the problem is that Miller hasn't given herself enough room. Jo and Eli find themselves drawn to one another even as they revisit a grisly murder that broke up their commune 30 years ago. Miller moves so expertly through her delicate portrayal of Jo's life in the first 200 pages that it's difficult to understand why she barrels through this complex, exciting material toward the end.
The other problem is that the character of Jo's husband, whom Miller has designed so expertly, reacts with baffling iciness to his wife's temptation to commit adultery. Inexplicably, the immense affection and spiritual wisdom he demonstrates through most of the book doesn't help him react more humanely to his wife's moral struggle. Instead, he withdraws at the moment she needs him most - at the moment we expect him to be there.
"While I Was Gone" remains a beautiful novel that raises fascinating questions about our connection to the people we once were and the ability to remake ourselves, but it's a book that leaves one wanting and deserving more.
http://www.csmonitor.com/1999/0211/p1...
April 14, 2014
I loved this book! Very well written by Sue Miller, astonishing story. Really makes you think, do you really KNOW anyone?? Everyone has a dark side and what can be unleashed in extreme anger and frustration is quite frightening...
September 24, 2008
If there was a half star, I'd give it another half, but giving it 3 seems slightly too generous for a book that left me so annoyed. I loved Joey's past story, when she was living in the house with the others. I never thought I'd find the hippie-esque lifestyle very appealing, but something about those particular characters really drew me in, and I just became totally involved in that section of the book. But there is something charming about a group of 20 somethings trying to find out who they are and what they'll be, and having some fun in the process. But I felt like Joey never actually grew out of that phase, and while it was charming when she was 23, it was completely annoying to me when she was about 52 or however old she was. I felt like shaking her and telling her to grow up at several points! And of course her 3 daughters were becoming just like her. What kind of daughter hears from her mother that her beloved professor's husband is a murderer, and gets angry at her mother for ruining her college life??? So enfuriating. If the book had just been about her 20s, I would have loved it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 2, 2009
The author says in the back-of-the-book interview that she found it hard to like Jo and I agree with her. I found Jo to be too self-centered and Daniel to be somewhat of a jerk. I also felt the kids were spoiled. No one in this family seems really loving. They're all involved in their own pursuits to the exclusion of everyone else. I agree that Daniel's sermon represents a turning point and was one of the more pleasurable sections. I do find it odd that Jo doesn't participate more in Daniel's life. She observes, she tolerates, she takes a vicarious pleasure in it, but she's not part of it. The closest communion they have is with the dogs. Even their children interact with them differently.
January 4, 2016
Thirty years ago, bored by the prospect of her future in a safe marriage, Jo ran away and spent a few months in a communal house in Boston, enjoying the hippy lifestyle while keeping herself distanced from it. That all fell apart when she came home one night to find Dana, the commune's earthmother figure, brutally murdered by, it seems, an intruder intent on raiding the occupants' housekeeping money.
Now Jo is a successful vet in a small Massachusetts town, happily married to her second husband, Daniel, a preacher. Their three daughters have largely flown the nest. But then the tranquility is disturbed when the owner of a dog that needs to be put down proves to be one of her old housemates, now a distinguished neurochemist. Meeting him again stirs up her memories of those long-ago days of freedom, of irresponsibility. Does she really wish to revisit those memories? And, if she does, will it mean the sacrifice of her marriage to Daniel?
I'm not a hundred percent certain why I bought this book; if I'd noticed the dread words "Oprah's Book Club" on the front or the fact that it has one of those infuriating, pretentious Readers' Guides at the back I probably wouldn't have. I pulled it from the shelf because I've been stuck in bed for most of the past few days with some horrible bug, a situation that has the sole advantage of inspiring me to read a few books that I've been ignoring. And I was immediately hooked by it.
Although there's a violent death early on and in a way a murder mystery to be solved, that's not really what Miller's story is about. Instead, it seems to me, she's concerned with how we can reinvent ourselves only so often and only so much before the consequences start redounding upon us. In a very quiet, measured, yet utterly engrossing way she leads us through the labyrinth that Josie has made of her life, exposing also the instability that lies beneath the surface of her outwardly placid marriage to Daniel. Josie has to face the fact that she hasn't been living up to her own ideals; but then Daniel doesn't quite match the ideal image she's created for him either, behaving like an absolute prig at a time when he, more than anyone, should understand that what she needs from him is comfort and support. And, where earlier she showed herself so good at running away from her life, it's now, when she feels least like running away, that she has to confront estrangement.
In short, While I Was Gone is as much of a white-knuckle read as any thriller I can recall, and it carries an emotional heft that I'm sure will remain with me a long while, as will the questions it raises.
Now Jo is a successful vet in a small Massachusetts town, happily married to her second husband, Daniel, a preacher. Their three daughters have largely flown the nest. But then the tranquility is disturbed when the owner of a dog that needs to be put down proves to be one of her old housemates, now a distinguished neurochemist. Meeting him again stirs up her memories of those long-ago days of freedom, of irresponsibility. Does she really wish to revisit those memories? And, if she does, will it mean the sacrifice of her marriage to Daniel?
I'm not a hundred percent certain why I bought this book; if I'd noticed the dread words "Oprah's Book Club" on the front or the fact that it has one of those infuriating, pretentious Readers' Guides at the back I probably wouldn't have. I pulled it from the shelf because I've been stuck in bed for most of the past few days with some horrible bug, a situation that has the sole advantage of inspiring me to read a few books that I've been ignoring. And I was immediately hooked by it.
Although there's a violent death early on and in a way a murder mystery to be solved, that's not really what Miller's story is about. Instead, it seems to me, she's concerned with how we can reinvent ourselves only so often and only so much before the consequences start redounding upon us. In a very quiet, measured, yet utterly engrossing way she leads us through the labyrinth that Josie has made of her life, exposing also the instability that lies beneath the surface of her outwardly placid marriage to Daniel. Josie has to face the fact that she hasn't been living up to her own ideals; but then Daniel doesn't quite match the ideal image she's created for him either, behaving like an absolute prig at a time when he, more than anyone, should understand that what she needs from him is comfort and support. And, where earlier she showed herself so good at running away from her life, it's now, when she feels least like running away, that she has to confront estrangement.
In short, While I Was Gone is as much of a white-knuckle read as any thriller I can recall, and it carries an emotional heft that I'm sure will remain with me a long while, as will the questions it raises.
June 10, 2016
Oh, this book was so bad. I mean it was SO BAD. If you're interested in books that, you know, have the typical plot structure of [rising action --> climax --> falling action --> resolution], this book is not for you. The entire thing is rising action. There's no climax and there's hardly resolution.
This supposedly-acclaimed author is really not a good writer either. I'm not pretending that I'm a good author, but I am a good reader; so I can tell you that her writing style in this novel is no bueno. There's random nudity described that is so awkward I cringed when I read it. More detail was spent describing a random dinner preparation than what *I think* was supposed to be the climax of the story. The characters are not relatable in any form or fashion, unless, of course, the reader is someone who has made a heap-load of bad decisions that hurt lots and lots of other people and wants to feel justified in making those, without apology or reconciliation.
I wanted so badly to like this book because a good friend recommended it, but man, it was just terrible. The ONLY redeeming quality it has is...... I just typed that and sat and thought for a solid 2 minutes because surely it would have SOMETHING, but alas, I came up with absolutely nothing. This novel has zero redeeming qualities. Do not waste your time.
This supposedly-acclaimed author is really not a good writer either. I'm not pretending that I'm a good author, but I am a good reader; so I can tell you that her writing style in this novel is no bueno. There's random nudity described that is so awkward I cringed when I read it. More detail was spent describing a random dinner preparation than what *I think* was supposed to be the climax of the story. The characters are not relatable in any form or fashion, unless, of course, the reader is someone who has made a heap-load of bad decisions that hurt lots and lots of other people and wants to feel justified in making those, without apology or reconciliation.
I wanted so badly to like this book because a good friend recommended it, but man, it was just terrible. The ONLY redeeming quality it has is...... I just typed that and sat and thought for a solid 2 minutes because surely it would have SOMETHING, but alas, I came up with absolutely nothing. This novel has zero redeeming qualities. Do not waste your time.
April 13, 2011
This book was in places very beautifully written but for all of that I found the heroine and the choices she made quite selfish. Here's a woman with a loving husband, a prosperous career she loves and not a worry in the world. She's willing to toss it all away because, to me, she seems either bored or regretful that her life is so easy (we should all be so lucky!). This made her very difficult to sympathize with and made me want to strangle her. I did enjoy the fact that in the end her "problem" was going to stare her in the face for a good number of years to come. Serves her right, if you ask me . . .
April 21, 2012
Ick. One star for a decent plot, and a respectable theme.
I dislike being told all about a character, especially by the character herself. Show me, and let me experience the story rather than instructing me. I found much of the narrative to be a little trite, and sometimes too "Harlequinesque".
Far too many mundane details about insignificant acts, such as an entire paragraph on making risotto. No, I did not think that such ramblings of routine ran counterpoint to Jo's impulsiveness, nor that they served to exemplify the simple peace she sought. It bored me to tears.
I found much of her behavior hard to buy. Perhaps because it was so often explained after incidents occurred. Frankly, I found her to be quite stupid. For instance, her daughter, Sadie, is responsible for getting her involved with another character, but when problems develop between them, the effect this might have on Sadie doesn't even occur to her.
No matter how understanding I tried to be of Jo's growth process, I couldn't develop any fondness for the heroine. In some cases, negative feelings about the protagonist can work wonderfully - not so in this case. Primarily, she frustrated me and I found myself repeatedly wanting to see her either shut up or grow up. The fact that she finally seems to accomplish this in the end was, for this reader, too little too late.
I dislike being told all about a character, especially by the character herself. Show me, and let me experience the story rather than instructing me. I found much of the narrative to be a little trite, and sometimes too "Harlequinesque".
Far too many mundane details about insignificant acts, such as an entire paragraph on making risotto. No, I did not think that such ramblings of routine ran counterpoint to Jo's impulsiveness, nor that they served to exemplify the simple peace she sought. It bored me to tears.
I found much of her behavior hard to buy. Perhaps because it was so often explained after incidents occurred. Frankly, I found her to be quite stupid. For instance, her daughter, Sadie, is responsible for getting her involved with another character, but when problems develop between them, the effect this might have on Sadie doesn't even occur to her.
No matter how understanding I tried to be of Jo's growth process, I couldn't develop any fondness for the heroine. In some cases, negative feelings about the protagonist can work wonderfully - not so in this case. Primarily, she frustrated me and I found myself repeatedly wanting to see her either shut up or grow up. The fact that she finally seems to accomplish this in the end was, for this reader, too little too late.
Read
June 13, 2017The comfortable life of a middle aged woman is disrupted when she meets up with an old acquaintance. So far, so potentially boring. And there were indeed times when I wanted to give up on this story, when I didn't really care what happened to the characters. But Sue Miller has a gift for describing detail that drew me in completely. She places the trivia of our lives under the microscope and the resulting analysis is just so accurate. A great writer - she just needs a better story.
November 11, 2020
A quite by accident re-read with a good friend. And although I am shelving this as a re-read, I had read it so long ago that I remembered virtually nothing about it, other than I've kept it after my various moves because I loved it when I read it the first time. And this time was no different.
At the book's opening we meet our narrator, Jo (Josie), her husband (Daniel), her 3 grown daughters, and others that are part of Jo's veterinary practice that she shares with her one female partner. My friend and I compared thoughts throughout our read and we both agreed that the author nails everything of which she writes - vet practice, dogs, marriage, relationships, kids, and as a bonus for me this book takes place in Massachusetts.
We are shortly transported back to Jo's days in Cambridge, MA as a young (early 20's) woman escaping her first short-lived marriage to Ted. Jo is 'accepted' into a rambling house of other young adults after being interviewed and approved by all, but in particular the beautiful and spirited young woman, Dana. All of these memories are flooded back to Jo when a new patient to her clinic arrives, Eli, who was also a member of the Cambridge house. Needless to say, Jo's past is unexpectedly in her path.
What transpires is a blend of so many things, beautifully written and expressed. This author IMO has a real gift of making me at least feel every gut wrenching emotion and moment that takes place. It's somewhat of a mystery but cloaked in a story of family and friends.
At the book's opening we meet our narrator, Jo (Josie), her husband (Daniel), her 3 grown daughters, and others that are part of Jo's veterinary practice that she shares with her one female partner. My friend and I compared thoughts throughout our read and we both agreed that the author nails everything of which she writes - vet practice, dogs, marriage, relationships, kids, and as a bonus for me this book takes place in Massachusetts.
We are shortly transported back to Jo's days in Cambridge, MA as a young (early 20's) woman escaping her first short-lived marriage to Ted. Jo is 'accepted' into a rambling house of other young adults after being interviewed and approved by all, but in particular the beautiful and spirited young woman, Dana. All of these memories are flooded back to Jo when a new patient to her clinic arrives, Eli, who was also a member of the Cambridge house. Needless to say, Jo's past is unexpectedly in her path.
What transpires is a blend of so many things, beautifully written and expressed. This author IMO has a real gift of making me at least feel every gut wrenching emotion and moment that takes place. It's somewhat of a mystery but cloaked in a story of family and friends.
March 16, 2008
I'm two-thirds of the way through and am not sure how I feel about this book. I think I'm hitting a slump with it, the action is stalling and I'm not sure where it is going. It has been interesting reading about a mother/wife who is at the point in her life where her daughters are grown and moved out of the house. It makes me think about how I will handle that stage of my life someday.
UPDATE: A year or so ago I read a book by Sue Miller called The World Below. I really enjoyed that book, and was eager to read more by her. While I Was Gone was thought-provoking, but I can't say that I liked it as much. It did cause me to think introspectively about my own life, which is always good I think. But I had a hard time connecting to the main character, and the ending left me feeling unsatisfied.
UPDATE: A year or so ago I read a book by Sue Miller called The World Below. I really enjoyed that book, and was eager to read more by her. While I Was Gone was thought-provoking, but I can't say that I liked it as much. It did cause me to think introspectively about my own life, which is always good I think. But I had a hard time connecting to the main character, and the ending left me feeling unsatisfied.
January 22, 2011
I was painfully disappointed in this book. I find the whole premise unrealistic. How does one experience such horror and go about their life, with no apparent PTDS. She now has kids in college, but has no "warnings" for them about her own experiences as a young adult? And then you just go ahead living in the time town this this murderer? Nah, I don't think so. It skirts around this huge psychological issues, but does it with a distance and coldness, that just doesn't work.
September 12, 2020
3.5 stars
"For me, the sorrow was laced with guilt. I was the betrayer, after all, and it was with a pained and startled self-recognition that I felt this as something familiar about myself. I had thought of it as new, as news, really. Something startling, something fresh I was learning about myself. It had even titllated me: I could b, I might be, a person who could betray someone"
The story is ok. But the majority of the middle drags on and is not surprising in the end. But if you like books and authors who can write succinctly your complex thoughts and emotions, then you will love this book. I happen to like both a great story along with artful literary description s of complex human thoughts, motives and emotions. She definitely delivered in the latter.
"For me, the sorrow was laced with guilt. I was the betrayer, after all, and it was with a pained and startled self-recognition that I felt this as something familiar about myself. I had thought of it as new, as news, really. Something startling, something fresh I was learning about myself. It had even titllated me: I could b, I might be, a person who could betray someone"
The story is ok. But the majority of the middle drags on and is not surprising in the end. But if you like books and authors who can write succinctly your complex thoughts and emotions, then you will love this book. I happen to like both a great story along with artful literary description s of complex human thoughts, motives and emotions. She definitely delivered in the latter.
February 8, 2017
The seven college students came from all different walks of life. Jo, Eli, Dana, Duncan, Sara, John, and Larry may have met completely by chance, but their differences were what initially bonded them together in friendship. They did almost everything together - and were extremely close with each other - until a brutal crime tore everyone apart and the friends went their separate ways.
Jo Becker's life honestly couldn't get any better. She lives a comfortable life with her own successful veterinary practice; doing something that gives her an enormous sense of satisfaction and purpose. She has been happily married to her minister husband Daniel for almost thirty years, and the couple has three vivacious daughters. This loving family lives in a beautiful house somewhere in a tiny, picturesque town in suburban Massachusetts.
Despite living such a perfect life, Jo nevertheless finds herself strangely dissatisfied with her current situation. Her mind is periodically invaded by instances of persistent restlessness and she feels somewhat disconnected from her own life at times. The strange feeling of restlessness intensifies when Jo takes on a new client who brings her into contact with someone from her past. Eli Mayhew was an attractive, mysterious, twenty-something when Jo first knew him; and his sudden reappearance in her life brings back Jo's own long-buried memories of her troubled former life.
Her subsequent fascination with that particular period of her life, as well as with the horrific crime that marked its inevitable conclusion will begin to consume more and more of Jo's time and attention. Although her avid determination to solve the crime that so utterly devastated her past could ultimately define her future; Jo's obsession with discovering the truth about what happened in the past will eventually estrange her from everything she holds dear in the present. As she and Eli are drawn closer together again, Jo will be forced to tell lie after lie to protect herself and her family from this mysterious man...and from the repercussions of a horrible secret deeply buried somewhere in the past - somewhere within another lifetime.
I must say that I absolutely loved this book. The story was so well-written and intriguing for me to read. I appreciated that it flowed along so easily; in my opinion, it was was well-paced and held my interest all the way through. Although Sue Miller is a relatively new author for me, I am delighted to say that I have several other books by this author sitting on my bookshelf already.
I was just telling Mareena how much I was enjoying reading this book and how I thought that it would make such a good movie. She did a little bit of research, and told me that there had been a television movie made of the book back in 2004. Apparently, the movie starred Kirstie Alley and Bill Smitrovich. Despite never having seen the film adaptation of this book, I would nevertheless give While I Was Gone by Sue Miller a definite A+!
Jo Becker's life honestly couldn't get any better. She lives a comfortable life with her own successful veterinary practice; doing something that gives her an enormous sense of satisfaction and purpose. She has been happily married to her minister husband Daniel for almost thirty years, and the couple has three vivacious daughters. This loving family lives in a beautiful house somewhere in a tiny, picturesque town in suburban Massachusetts.
Despite living such a perfect life, Jo nevertheless finds herself strangely dissatisfied with her current situation. Her mind is periodically invaded by instances of persistent restlessness and she feels somewhat disconnected from her own life at times. The strange feeling of restlessness intensifies when Jo takes on a new client who brings her into contact with someone from her past. Eli Mayhew was an attractive, mysterious, twenty-something when Jo first knew him; and his sudden reappearance in her life brings back Jo's own long-buried memories of her troubled former life.
Her subsequent fascination with that particular period of her life, as well as with the horrific crime that marked its inevitable conclusion will begin to consume more and more of Jo's time and attention. Although her avid determination to solve the crime that so utterly devastated her past could ultimately define her future; Jo's obsession with discovering the truth about what happened in the past will eventually estrange her from everything she holds dear in the present. As she and Eli are drawn closer together again, Jo will be forced to tell lie after lie to protect herself and her family from this mysterious man...and from the repercussions of a horrible secret deeply buried somewhere in the past - somewhere within another lifetime.
I must say that I absolutely loved this book. The story was so well-written and intriguing for me to read. I appreciated that it flowed along so easily; in my opinion, it was was well-paced and held my interest all the way through. Although Sue Miller is a relatively new author for me, I am delighted to say that I have several other books by this author sitting on my bookshelf already.
I was just telling Mareena how much I was enjoying reading this book and how I thought that it would make such a good movie. She did a little bit of research, and told me that there had been a television movie made of the book back in 2004. Apparently, the movie starred Kirstie Alley and Bill Smitrovich. Despite never having seen the film adaptation of this book, I would nevertheless give While I Was Gone by Sue Miller a definite A+!
September 21, 2011
Added 2/14/11.
I started reading this book 9/7/11 and finished around 9/16/11.
This book kept me reading. It's the 4rd book I've read by Sue Miller. Each one seems better than the last.
This book, _While I was Gone_, isn't a mystery book but there's a bit of mystery in it which keeps you reading.
Below is a quote from the book which gives us some food for thought:
p.266: "Perhaps it's best to live with the possibility that around any corner, at any time, may come the person who reminds you of your own capacity to surprise yourself... ... Who reminds you of the distances we have to bridge to begin to know anything about one another. Who reminds you that what seems to be -- even about yourself -- may not be."
The main character in the book, told in the first-person, does a lot of reflecting about herself and others... about their personalities, their temperaments and other aspects of their natures. It's this psychological aspect of the author's books which I enjoy.
I started reading this book 9/7/11 and finished around 9/16/11.
This book kept me reading. It's the 4rd book I've read by Sue Miller. Each one seems better than the last.
This book, _While I was Gone_, isn't a mystery book but there's a bit of mystery in it which keeps you reading.
Below is a quote from the book which gives us some food for thought:
p.266: "Perhaps it's best to live with the possibility that around any corner, at any time, may come the person who reminds you of your own capacity to surprise yourself... ... Who reminds you of the distances we have to bridge to begin to know anything about one another. Who reminds you that what seems to be -- even about yourself -- may not be."
The main character in the book, told in the first-person, does a lot of reflecting about herself and others... about their personalities, their temperaments and other aspects of their natures. It's this psychological aspect of the author's books which I enjoy.
March 17, 2008
The title pulled me in. The narrator--a middle-aged woman, veterinarian, mother of two grown daughters, wife of a pastor--explores her own life from the vantage point of an intense personal crisis. Memories--from college days in the 60s--catch up with her, though one suspects she slows the forward pace of her immediate life so that they will certainly overtake her. The struggle thus begins--or continues, heightened. Sue Miller's past-becomes-present plot isn't original, but the writer's rendering of an old scheme caught this reader, also a college student in the 60s, close to home. Bringing any book to an ending can be difficult, and Miller's otherwise beautiful flow of writing halts somewhat in the last third of the novel--hence four stars instead of five. While I Was Gone plunges to surprising, indeed frightening depths before breathless emergence into sight.
April 8, 2021
More like 3 1/2 stars. The writing was lovely and I liked the quiet, slowly building tension. It does bring up questions about how well you can really ever know another person’s true nature, or your own for that matter. What are the secrets we hide, and why? I’m not sure I’m quite satisfied with the ending but it was definitely an engaging read.
February 25, 2023
3.5
Why don’t they allow half stars??
Why don’t they allow half stars??
June 3, 2012
In any given day, there are an infinite number of things I would like to get away from -- phone calls, traffic, laundry, work. Who hasn't wanted to get away from their lives or to experience what it's like to be someone else? But the fact that I, like so many others, stay grounded and don't indulge the urge to run made it hard for me to like Jo, the main character.
Jo's a runner. Sue Miller gives a lot of examples of things she runs away from. She runs away from home when she was eight or nine years old; she leaves her first husband and her family; she leaves her grimacing husband holding the twins -- two wailing babies crying out to her -- for work, where she forgets about them; and during the day she runs away from the reality of the present to the wonders of her fantasies, especially once Eli, a roommate from her days of being Licia, comes back into her life.
Jo's also a very hard character to know. One of her daughters calls her elusive, and it's true. She's led a double life, she has secrets from her daughters and mother, she keeps things from her husband (and when she does share with him, it seems to be all the wrong things -- the things that will hurt him), and even though Miller tells the story from Jo's perspective, from the first person, as a reader you don't really know who she is either. Because Jo doesn't know who she is.
My favorite scene was Daniel's sermon -- it was so beautifully written and delivered. For me, he was an easier character to like because he seems genuinely happy with his life and sure of who he is.
But despite my issues with the main character, the book was really, really good.
Jo's a runner. Sue Miller gives a lot of examples of things she runs away from. She runs away from home when she was eight or nine years old; she leaves her first husband and her family; she leaves her grimacing husband holding the twins -- two wailing babies crying out to her -- for work, where she forgets about them; and during the day she runs away from the reality of the present to the wonders of her fantasies, especially once Eli, a roommate from her days of being Licia, comes back into her life.
Jo's also a very hard character to know. One of her daughters calls her elusive, and it's true. She's led a double life, she has secrets from her daughters and mother, she keeps things from her husband (and when she does share with him, it seems to be all the wrong things -- the things that will hurt him), and even though Miller tells the story from Jo's perspective, from the first person, as a reader you don't really know who she is either. Because Jo doesn't know who she is.
My favorite scene was Daniel's sermon -- it was so beautifully written and delivered. For me, he was an easier character to like because he seems genuinely happy with his life and sure of who he is.
But despite my issues with the main character, the book was really, really good.
March 15, 2009
I thought this one was a bit clunky at first. It didn't begin to flow for me until about the third chapter, but once it did, I sopped it up pretty eagerly. The book deals with selves. The ones we were, the ones we've become, and the ways we choose to incorporate our pasts into our present lives. It deals with self-justifications of the shameful, hurtful or otherwise negative actions we play out. Honesty and trust within the familial structure are weighed heavily against the images one hopes to convey about one's experience. The mood tends to be heavy and sad.
There's so much more to it, so many themes, but I want to remain vague so as not to spoil anything. Part of what I really enjoyed about this book came from knowing so little about it when I started. There is a wonderfully crafted element of suspense that would be entirely missed if too many details were revealed. I found it very worth my time.
There's so much more to it, so many themes, but I want to remain vague so as not to spoil anything. Part of what I really enjoyed about this book came from knowing so little about it when I started. There is a wonderfully crafted element of suspense that would be entirely missed if too many details were revealed. I found it very worth my time.
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