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Blotto and Twinks #3
Blotto, Twinks and the Rodents of the Riviera
Consternation at Tawcester Towers! While giving a guided tour of the house's Long Gallery Blotto is stunned to discover that two of the family portraits - a Gainsborough and a Reynolds - are missing.Tawcester Towers has been the victim of art thieves! Blotto is forced to summon his brilliantly intelligent sister Twinks who instantly deduces that the paintings have been stolen by a gang of international art thieves based in Paris. So Blotto and Twinks instantly set off in the former's Lagonda for France!
Their investigations in Paris bring them into contact with the absinthe-soaked art community of the Rive Gauche, but after an attempt on his life at the Folies Bergere, Blotto is persuaded by Twinks that it is to Nice they must travel, as the criminal mastermind La Puce runs his evil empire from there, funded by the proceeds of many European art collections - including those from Tawcester Towers.
The French Riviera is a gay old place, and following various lead, Twinks makes contacts with many expatriates and Americans all leading the good life, including the famous silent movie star Mimsy La Pim, who Blotto finds himself curiously drawn to. But after a particularly decadent party it is discovered that Mimsy has been kidnapped by La Puce - and so it is up to Blotto and Twinks to save the starlet from many fates worse than death and restore the fortunes of Tawcester Towers to boot!
Praise for Simon
'A new Simon Brett is an event for mystery fans' P D James
'Murder most enjoyable' Colin Dexter
'Simon Brett writes stunning detective stories. I would recommend them to anyone.' Jilly Cooper
'Few crime writers are so enchantingly gifted' Sunday Times
'One of British crime's most assured craftsmen... Crime writing just like in the good old days, and perfect entertainment.' Guardian
Their investigations in Paris bring them into contact with the absinthe-soaked art community of the Rive Gauche, but after an attempt on his life at the Folies Bergere, Blotto is persuaded by Twinks that it is to Nice they must travel, as the criminal mastermind La Puce runs his evil empire from there, funded by the proceeds of many European art collections - including those from Tawcester Towers.
The French Riviera is a gay old place, and following various lead, Twinks makes contacts with many expatriates and Americans all leading the good life, including the famous silent movie star Mimsy La Pim, who Blotto finds himself curiously drawn to. But after a particularly decadent party it is discovered that Mimsy has been kidnapped by La Puce - and so it is up to Blotto and Twinks to save the starlet from many fates worse than death and restore the fortunes of Tawcester Towers to boot!
Praise for Simon
'A new Simon Brett is an event for mystery fans' P D James
'Murder most enjoyable' Colin Dexter
'Simon Brett writes stunning detective stories. I would recommend them to anyone.' Jilly Cooper
'Few crime writers are so enchantingly gifted' Sunday Times
'One of British crime's most assured craftsmen... Crime writing just like in the good old days, and perfect entertainment.' Guardian
119 pages, ebook
First published July 21, 2011
27 people are currently reading
139 people want to read
About the author
Simon Brett
329 books532 followersSimon Brett is a prolific British writer of whodunnits.
He is the son of a Chartered Surveyor and was educated at Dulwich College and Wadham College, Oxford, where he got a first class honours degree in English.
He then joined the BBC as a trainee and worked for BBC Radio and London Weekend Television, where his work included 'Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy' and 'Frank Muir Goes Into ...'.
After his spells with the media he began devoting most of his time to writing from the late 1970s and is well known for his various series of crime novels.
He is married with three children and lives in Burpham, near Arundel, West Sussex, England. He is the current president of the Detection Club.
He is the son of a Chartered Surveyor and was educated at Dulwich College and Wadham College, Oxford, where he got a first class honours degree in English.
He then joined the BBC as a trainee and worked for BBC Radio and London Weekend Television, where his work included 'Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy' and 'Frank Muir Goes Into ...'.
After his spells with the media he began devoting most of his time to writing from the late 1970s and is well known for his various series of crime novels.
He is married with three children and lives in Burpham, near Arundel, West Sussex, England. He is the current president of the Detection Club.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
January 22, 2024
Delightfully silly. Perfect fluff to read on a stormy day when you have a cold. Or even if you don't.
September 13, 2015
I love this series. Spoffing lingo, old trouser button! Silly silly silly, but so much fun.
August 31, 2022
This was complete rombooley to borrow the vocab of the book but it was very well done, even if after a while the vocab repeated (can't blame the author for that). It's a parody of a detective novel, kind of the Get Smart of the whounnit, possibly better than a Get smart and with slightly more subtle humour (but not very subtle). Gender equity is here in that Blotto narrowly escapes being raped by a flapper AND an ageing writer. The latter is played for knowing laughs as Blotto steadfastly refuses to understand what is happening. It was partially cringe but fairly sanitised.
The mystery was pretty predictable and the plot goes crazy with an underground headquarters of a mad scientist etc etc etc. Some of the sarcasm is really great as is the way the book consistenly makes fun of ruling class affectations. I didn't love every single man in the book falling in love with Twinks, but at least it was overdone to the point of camp. I like Blotto being asexual (I think) that's a nice touch.
If you are going to read a silly book, this is better and more engaging than most. I could have done without the midgets though....that's punching down.
The mystery was pretty predictable and the plot goes crazy with an underground headquarters of a mad scientist etc etc etc. Some of the sarcasm is really great as is the way the book consistenly makes fun of ruling class affectations. I didn't love every single man in the book falling in love with Twinks, but at least it was overdone to the point of camp. I like Blotto being asexual (I think) that's a nice touch.
If you are going to read a silly book, this is better and more engaging than most. I could have done without the midgets though....that's punching down.
October 11, 2016
I started to read this...and started to regret it almost instantly..though no hater of stories of this ilk such as the Jeeves and Wooster tales the upper class buffoonery and tales of Eton educated flops without a clue was always likely to annoy me with the memory of David Cameron and Boris Johnson hanging over post brexit Britain.
Anyhow prejudices aside when about three quarters of the way in I started to enjoy the subtle fun with names and although the story to my mind was more farce than crime thriller this was as much fun as some of the steampunk adventure things I have read of late.
As a Crime tale (as well as book) it was kind of thin and I don't think engages like a whodunit would have however it was fun and enjoyed as a capable farcical romp....it was fine.
Anyhow prejudices aside when about three quarters of the way in I started to enjoy the subtle fun with names and although the story to my mind was more farce than crime thriller this was as much fun as some of the steampunk adventure things I have read of late.
As a Crime tale (as well as book) it was kind of thin and I don't think engages like a whodunit would have however it was fun and enjoyed as a capable farcical romp....it was fine.
December 19, 2020
I was a bit disappointed in this book. I enjoy Brett's series set in Fethering but this was rather too silly for me. I had the feeling that Brett was aiming for a sort of Bertie Wooster character with 'Blotto', albeit with his sister, 'Twinks' playing the role of Jeeves. For me it does not succed.
January 13, 2013
If you think this book was "creamy eclair" or "the lark's larynx" then you must have fallen under its spell. I didn't. It was repetitive in the extreme and failed miserably as the humorous book it was probably meant to be. It didn't even deserve the one star. Utter twaddle.
June 2, 2013
While I enjoyed the first two books in this series, number three didn't appeal to me. Everything was tired, the jokes, the plot and the inane name calling such as 'my little cigar cutter' or 'shrimp sandwich' or worse.
December 15, 2012
Ugh. One more "me old ______", "read your semaphore" or "larksissimo!" and I'd have given up. Thankfully a short book, but the characters beggar belief.
January 8, 2019
Nope nope nope nope nope nope. DNF. Went bananas with the crap they spout.
February 16, 2022
A bit repetitive at times, and I wish (this isn't quite fair, since it's the author's perogative) Blotto and Twinks were more Poirot and less Bond, James Bond. But Blotto's still gorgeous and dumb, and Twinks is still gorgeous and smart, and they certainly try their best and are easy to root for. I think I found the supporting cast less engaging this time, except for a fun (but short) sequence with a barely-closeted gay man in the Cote d'Azur; all the Dimpsy? (already forgotten her name) stuff with her painters and writers got dull very quickly.
(5* = amazing, terrific book, one of my all-time favourites, 4* = very good book, 3* = good book, but nothing to particularly rave about, 2* = disappointing book, and 1* = awful, just awful. As a statistician I know most books are 3s, but I am biased in my selection and end up mostly with 4s, thank goodness.)
(5* = amazing, terrific book, one of my all-time favourites, 4* = very good book, 3* = good book, but nothing to particularly rave about, 2* = disappointing book, and 1* = awful, just awful. As a statistician I know most books are 3s, but I am biased in my selection and end up mostly with 4s, thank goodness.)
November 12, 2018
Blotto and Twinks are at it again, but this time in Paris. When family paintings are stolen from Tawscester Towers (what poor form!) the brother sister team find themselves following the bandits to gay Paris. Brett seasons his little adventure with such whip-smart ideas as, “Twinks knew she could beat anyone at any game they chose to challenge her at. Some might have wished for greater bravery, but Twinks didn’t know the meaning of the word fear. (This was something she had in common with her brother. Mind you, there were quite a lot of words Blotto didn’t know the meaning of.) (Brett 95) Blotto experiences gay Paris in all its fullness and in his typical form understands not a smidge. Brett even goes so far as to find Blotto a woman on the same level of intellect as him.
August 29, 2025
Well this was…different
Picked it up as part of a Vinted bundle thinking it sounded like silly fun. And it was…a bit.
I get that it’s meant to be daft and ridiculous and the plot was lots of fun but the repetitive dialogue really really REALLY got boring after the first couple of pages. And would members of the British aristocracy of the 1920s really use “me old…” (as in “me old trouser button” etc)?! I think not.
The main protagonists were idiotic but that’s to be expected. The villains were outrageously stereotypical - again not an issue. But that bloody dialogue - it was very much NOT absolutely buzzer me old ship’s biscuit!
Will not be reading another one of these 🤣
Picked it up as part of a Vinted bundle thinking it sounded like silly fun. And it was…a bit.
I get that it’s meant to be daft and ridiculous and the plot was lots of fun but the repetitive dialogue really really REALLY got boring after the first couple of pages. And would members of the British aristocracy of the 1920s really use “me old…” (as in “me old trouser button” etc)?! I think not.
The main protagonists were idiotic but that’s to be expected. The villains were outrageously stereotypical - again not an issue. But that bloody dialogue - it was very much NOT absolutely buzzer me old ship’s biscuit!
Will not be reading another one of these 🤣
July 16, 2023
The pace is all creamy eclair in this volume of Blotto and Twinks with lots of wonderfully silly bits, puns (English and French) and a (slightly) more coherent plot. Plus I will never not say “It is a chef d’œuvre of Trianglisme!” when confronted with a cubist painting at a museum given my wife’s amusement last week. The only bit of bilge-water is the army of little people which is offensive enough even without the excessive use of a slur.
January 19, 2025
This book took me back to the days when I read P.G. Wodehouse one after another.
Read full review on Medium.
Read full review on Medium.
July 5, 2021
This is a typically silly Blotto & Twinks caper, with a completely improbable (as usual) plot and a lot of absurd characters. The shtick between Blotto and Twinks is amusing but gets old pretty quick so it's a good thing this is a fairly short book. It's a pleasant diversion and nothing more.
June 5, 2017
Very enjoyable. Reminiscent of P.G. Wodehouse.
October 28, 2017
Very silly, but a lot of fun.
June 25, 2019
This is a quirky & funny book. Just the thing to read during the summer.
July 22, 2019
I read a couple of these. Lots of Woodhouse style meets Lemony Snicker. Lots of witty nonsense. Great for a couple of hours in the sun.
November 13, 2019
Perfectly fine B+T story.
March 3, 2020
Delicious spoofy goodness. (#3 in the series)
October 19, 2020
Joyful nonsense and as ever the absolute Larks larynx!!
July 29, 2021
This is a fun, light read with an unusual mystery/resolution plot.
September 2, 2023
This is very silly and I enjoyed it a lot.
September 13, 2023
Silly but fun book.
March 20, 2024
Another enjoyable Blotto and Twinks book. The story is good in the main. However, it is let down by a rather silly ending.
April 26, 2022
The brother and sister detective duo are back for another case in this light comic romp set in the 1920s. Puns and dazzling wordplay to the fore as the aristocratic pair explore France.
June 14, 2024
Very funny, the best one so far.
July 24, 2013
More than a little similar to Kerry Greenwood's Phryne Fisher with overtones of P. G. Wodehouse, but more over-the-top. But I'll have to wait at least two months to read the next one to regain an appreciation for the ridiculous.
Blotto and Twinks are the younger son & daughter of a deceased duke; their elder brother has already produced two daughters, so Blotto, as The Spare, may have to marry someone his mother (like Sayers' Helen Denver) approves of. She also has a husband in mind for Twinks, a Catholic English marquis visiting and trying to court her -- Twinks is Not Interested, partly because of his Catholicism, partly his stupidity. She is very bright, unlike Blotto. Two paintings - a Gainsborough and a Reynolds - are stolen from the family estate; Blotto & Twinks are sent to France to retrieve them. In Paris, they connect with Twinks' school partner-in-mischief, who is posing nude for two painters who promptly fall in lust with Twinks, destroy their work in progress & want to do Twinks instead, in both senses of "do". She poses but isn't having any part of the other sense, outraging both painters - it is customary! Blotto visits the Folies Bergeres, misses every cue, but gets a clue to the thief of the paintings. He is sent an invitation to a trap, Twinks goes instead, and escapes being killed through the contents of her reticule - Blotto would have died. Et cetera.
Blotto and Twinks are the younger son & daughter of a deceased duke; their elder brother has already produced two daughters, so Blotto, as The Spare, may have to marry someone his mother (like Sayers' Helen Denver) approves of. She also has a husband in mind for Twinks, a Catholic English marquis visiting and trying to court her -- Twinks is Not Interested, partly because of his Catholicism, partly his stupidity. She is very bright, unlike Blotto. Two paintings - a Gainsborough and a Reynolds - are stolen from the family estate; Blotto & Twinks are sent to France to retrieve them. In Paris, they connect with Twinks' school partner-in-mischief, who is posing nude for two painters who promptly fall in lust with Twinks, destroy their work in progress & want to do Twinks instead, in both senses of "do". She poses but isn't having any part of the other sense, outraging both painters - it is customary! Blotto visits the Folies Bergeres, misses every cue, but gets a clue to the thief of the paintings. He is sent an invitation to a trap, Twinks goes instead, and escapes being killed through the contents of her reticule - Blotto would have died. Et cetera.
January 25, 2017
Blotto, second son, and Twinks, daughter of English aristocracy lead typical 1920s frivolous lifestyles. Blotto is dumb but likable; Twinks is beautiful and a genius. They have successfully solved 2 previous mysteries and can't wait to do another. They talk in exaggerated slang and all of the events and people in the story are extremes of cliches. It is funny, like a screwball comedy or a Perils of Pauline episode. In this story 2 family portraits done by Gainsborough and Reynolds are stolen and Twinks sounding like Sherlock Holmes finds clues. They meet French 'Triangulist' artists Blocque and Tacquelle and then American writers, Chuck Waggen and Scott Frea in their search (Get all the puns?). There is even a silent screen star who dresses in black and white and everyone is startled by her having red lips! It was a fun read but not a series that I would need to follow.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews