Peoplemaking

by Virginia Satir

Recognized as a classic in family therapy and communication theory, Virginia Satir’s 1972 seminal work has been republished by Souvenir Press in Dec 1990. As the “Mother of Family Therapy” herself might sometimes it’s ok to enjoy dessert first. Read the last chapter first. There, Satir’s comments help us to cast the language and mindsets of the 1970’s into a more informed, compassionate and inclusive view of the great variations in humans and their family realities.

Genres: Psychology, Parenting, Nonfiction, Relationships, Philosophy, Self Help, Theory

304 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1972

About the author

Virginia Satir (1916 – 1988) was an American author and psychotherapist, known especially for her approach to family therapy and her work with Systemic Constellations. She is widely regarded as the "Mother of Family Therapy" Her most well-known books are Conjoint Family Therapy, 1964, Peoplemaking, 1972, and The New Peoplemaking, 1988.

She is also known for creating the Virginia Satir Change Process Model, a psychological model developed through clinical studies. Change management and organizational gurus of the 1990s and 2000s embrace this model to define how change impacts organizations.

Reviews

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I pulled this off the shelf at the clinic I now work in - it's a classic for a reason. Satir wrote this for parents, and I cannot think of descriptions that are more clear, concise, and compassionate than Satir's as she explored communication, self-esteem, and the complex dynamics of family systems. I was going to write that my one quibble is that it's now outdated - a fair amount of heteronormative assumptions, etc. - except that once you get to the last chapter, Satir pointed to divorce, cohabitation and child-rearing without marriage, same-sex relationships, and polyamory and said, "What if all the practices that are now going on, which we have labelled as morally bad, were instead really evidence of the great variations in human beings?" In 1972! Way to preach, lady, and be WAY on the right side of history! Threaded throughout the book is the compelling idea that, in whatever form they take, families are how people are made, and the fate of the species thus rests on how supportive families are, and how supported they are, as well.

[Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

A colleague provided me a copy of this book as a Christmas gift in 1978. The communication stances are timeless. Although not the best writer, her ideas continue to be relevant in understanding communication on multiple levels rather than just verbal ones. I trained with her in 1986 and I can't begin to explain how this experience transformed me personally and professionally.

[Kholood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Changed my life and saved my life with my husband

[Dearbhla She-Her · Rating 1 out of 5]

quite dated e.g. explicitly states that homosexual relationships are not as valid as heterosexual relationships. Kinda lost interest after that point.

[Marc-Bernhard Gleißner · Rating 2 out of 5]

„Selbstwert und Kommunikation“ von Virginia Satir gilt bis heute als Klassiker der humanistischen Familientherapie – und man versteht schnell, warum. Satirs Ziel eines warmen, offenen und selbstbewussten Kommunikationsstils, in dem Menschen sich gegenseitig mit Würde begegnen, ist grundsätzlich sympathisch und gerade in konflikthaften Familienkonstellationen ein wichtiges Ideal. Ihr großes Verdienst besteht darin, Empathie und Menschlichkeit in die Familientherapie eingebracht und Kommunikation emotional greifbar gemacht zu haben.

Problematisch wird das Buch jedoch dort, wo Satirs Ansatz zu intuitiv, apodiktisch und schematisch wird. Viele ihrer Konfliktbeschreibungen wirken weniger analytisch entwickelt als aus persönlicher Erfahrung heraus verallgemeinert. Dabei kennt Satir oft nur zwei Zustände: „vital“ oder „gestört“. Die vielen Zwischenräume, Ambivalenzen und widersprüchlichen Dynamiken menschlicher Beziehungen geraten aus dem Blick. Dadurch entsteht ein starkes Schwarz-Weiß-Denken, das komplexe Kommunikationsprozesse eher vereinfacht als erklärt.

Besonders deutlich zeigt sich das in ihren bekannten Kommunikationshaltungen – Beschwichtigen, Anklagen, Rationalisieren und Ablenken. Diese Typologien sind zwar eingängig, wirken aber stark schematisch und psychologisch vereinfacht. In realen Beziehungen gehen diese Haltungen oft ineinander über: Beschwichtigen kann aggressiv sein, Rationalisieren kann Schutz oder Solidarität ausdrücken, Ablenkung kann deeskalierend wirken. Satir behandelt diese Rollen jedoch häufig so, als seien sie klar getrennt und eindeutig bewertbar.

Hinzu kommt, dass ihre Vorstellung „gesunder Kommunikation“ normativ bleibt. Kommunikation erscheint bei ihr weniger als ein offener Aushandlungsprozess innerhalb komplexer sozialer Systeme, sondern eher als Annäherung an ein feststehendes Ideal von Offenheit, Wärme und Direktheit. Familien, die anders funktionieren – etwa über indirekte Kommunikation oder bewusst unausgesprochene Regeln –, erscheinen dadurch schnell defizitär oder „nicht vital“. Dass manche Systeme gerade durch Ambivalenz, Distanz oder indirekte Formen stabil bleiben können, reflektiert das Buch kaum.

Damit übernimmt Satir auch typische Schwächen der Wachstumspsychologie der 1960er und 1970er Jahre: Vieles wirkt beinahe spirituell oder lebensberaterisch, aber analytisch nicht tief genug. Komplexe Machtverhältnisse, widersprüchliche Rollen oder strukturelle Konflikte werden häufig zugunsten einer vereinfachten Idee authentischer Kommunikation aufgelöst. Oft wirken die Fallbeispiele zudem so konstruiert, dass Satirs Modell am Ende zwangsläufig funktioniert.

Trotzdem erklärt sich der Einfluss des Buches leicht: Es ist warmherzig geschrieben, leicht zugänglich und vermittelt Menschen das Gefühl, gesehen zu werden. Als Einstieg in humanistische Kommunikations- und Familientherapie kann das inspirierend sein. Für ein wirklich differenziertes Verständnis menschlicher Kommunikation bleibt der Ansatz jedoch zu vereinfachend und zu stark von normativen Idealen geprägt. Gerade für den Alltag erscheint das Modell deshalb nur begrenzt tauglich, weil reale Menschen und reale Beziehungen meist wesentlich widersprüchlicher, ambivalenter und komplexer funktionieren, als Satirs Kategorien es zulassen.

[Asungushe B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book's premise: Childhood is the time when the foundations for life are laid, and they are laid by the adults who have charge of the upbringing.

Satir insists on checking our "pots" - our capability and essentially our self-worth - in order to eloquently communicate the necessary truths that will produce responsible, faith filled adults.

Written 50 years back, the principles still hold true including her predictions of the "family of the future": redefinition of marriage (to include same-sex couples), legalisation of abortion, communal homes etc.

[Tobias von Duisburg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dieses Buch sollte jeder Mensch lesen, bevor er eine Beziehung eingeht oder eine Familie gründet. Es beschreibt die Kunst des guten Lebens realistisch, differenziert und umsetzungsorientiert.

[Lorie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dated AND concepts are still valuable

[america · Rating 4 out of 5]

📖

[Lyric Trempe · Rating 4 out of 5]

a bit homophobic but good family systems theory lmao

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a classic in family therapy and communications theory. Written in the 1970's, it has the brave and bold sweep of those times. Intuitive, nurturant, and creative, Satir takes on too much in this book, which in general was the problem of the era in which this was written. But, when she hits she is brilliant. The best part of the book is the description of the role-playing that she feels bog most of us down and cause us to live lives of interpersonal misery. Those roles are The Blamer, The Placater (of the Blamer), The Calculator, and the Distracter. She guides you to become aware of these games and traps, and to be inspired to become the 5th type, The Leveler, which is the only authentic and helpful and healthy kind of communication. She seems to be saying that the ability to get in touch with your truth and to share it with others in a straightforward manner can help resolve most conflict situations with others. I loved the idealism and optimism about family life in this book.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

In many aspects, it is easy to forget that this book, written about family therapy by a pioneer of family therapy, was published in 1972. A lot of the techniques and schools of thought in this book are things still taught and used today. This was a decent book on understanding family systems and how they operate. The one key to realizing that this book is dated is the clear exclusion of same-sex couples, and a bias towards heterosexuals and their families. A good primer on family therapy!

[Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting look at family dynamics and how they have helped shape us and how we might perpetuate or change those roles. Be ready to have yourself simultaneously validated and realize the work that could lay ahead of you.

[Nyssa Hoerner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read the last chapter first. The language in parts of the book is very dated and might be construed as offensive, but the last chapter shows he views better, so start at the end! Wonderful tips and tricks for being in a family. I highly recommend this book.

[Darlene]

AMAZING FAMILY DYNAMICS

[Daniel]

8/29/17 Refenced in Rebuilding When the Relationship Ends