Fatherloss: How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms with the Deaths of Their Dads

by Neil Chethik

The first of its a compassionate exploration of how men deal with the deaths of their fathers.

With Hope Edelman's Motherless Daughters , millions of women found comfort in the experiences of other women who had lost their mothers. But until now, no book has been available to guide men through what can be an equally wrenching and life-changing event. Based on a landmark national survey of 300 men, and in-depth interviews with 70 others, FatherLoss is the first book that focuses specifically on how sons cope with the deaths of their dads. Chethik offers rich portraits of a variety of father-son relationships, and focuses on how the death of a father affects sons differently, depending on when in their lives it occurs. He also explores how such cultural figures as Ernest Hemingway, Dwight Eisenhower, and Michael Jordan were affected by the loss of their fathers.

By weaving together the poignant experiences of diverse men and the results of his groundbreaking survey, Chethik offers fresh insight into the unique male grieving process, encouraging men to share an experience too many have been conditioned to endure in silence.

Genres: Nonfiction, Grief, Self Help

312 pages, Paperback

First published January 17, 2001

Reviews

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was recommended this book by my partner, who lost his dad a few years ago. This book takes numerous accounts of sons who have lost their fathers and categorizes them into the ages of their loss. Each age group reacts to the loss of their fathers differently and this loss can often define how the son develops and grows into the rest of his life. The author also takes into account how relationships prior to and after the loss can affect the grieving process and ability to move on, and how grief can be delayed due to societal conventions that men be "manly" and not express emotions. There is also a section for how partners can support sons who have experienced father loss. A really great read for anyone who knows a son that has lost his father.

[Caryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was extremely helpful to me as a woman trying to understand how different men's grieving process is.
I often give copies as gifts to help others, as there is much insight available in these carefully and well written pages.

[Peter Mueller · Rating 4 out of 5]

As others have mentioned, the book doesn’t necessarily tell you how to grieve, but provides perspective on how others have gone through the process and the different ways it affects them.

[Wylly Harrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interviews contained helpful insights as I mourned my own father’s passing over the last year.

[Gil Adler · Rating 5 out of 5]

For any son that is struggling even a little bit with the loss of a father - this book is as good as if not better than therapy!

[Douglas Lord · Rating 3 out of 5]

Men have been accused of being incapable of grieving when, in truth, says writer/speaker Chethik, they have not been allowed to do so. Billed as a counterpart to Hope Edelman’s superior Motherless Daughters, FatherLoss features up-close-and-personal profiles of father-son relationships, drawing on the author’s national survey of 300 men and interviews with 70 others. Grieving, Chethik says, is part of the unique relationship between sons and fathers; it is highly subjective and dependent on the son’s age at the time of his father’s death. Chethik also studies how celebrities like Michael Jordan and Ernest Hemingway handled their fathers’ deaths. Although well written, this book reads like a series of stretched-out human-interest articles, and the author’s advice is buried in long passages. All in all, FatherLoss is a noble book for acknowledging men’s right to grieve, but it lacks clear how-to advice.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Zach · Rating 4 out of 5]

More interesting, than profound. A good read. Found some insight that I needed to either know, or remember, that helped me through my loss. After reading, glad that I am not a young child, but wish I had been 65+ years old at time of loss.