My Point...And I Do Have One

by Ellen DeGeneres

In this #1 New York Times bestseller, Ellen DeGeneres shares her hilarious take on everything from our most baffling human foibles–including how we behave in elevators, airplanes, and restrooms, and why we’re so scared of the boogeyman–to fashion trends, celebrity, and her secret recipe for Ellen’s Real Frenchy French Toast. Most of all, this witty, engaging book offers insights into the mind of one of America’s most beloved comics.…Dear Reader,I was awfully excited when I was asked to write a book. I was however, nervous. I was afraid I didn’t have anything important to say. But when I began writing, I realized that although I don’t know a lot about any one thing, I know a little about a whole bunch of baking a pie; dancing; curing the common cold; running the Iditarod–it’s all in the book. And I realized I notice things that maybe some people don’t notice (or they don’t notice that they don’t notice). That’s all in the book, too.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Comedy, Autobiography, LGBT

172 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 1, 1995

About the author

Ellen Lee DeGeneres is an American stand-up comedian, actress, and currently the Emmy Award-winning host of the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

She has hosted both the Academy Awards and the Primetime Emmys. As a film actress, she starred in Mr. Wrong, appeared in Edtv and The Love Letter, and provided the voice of "Dory" in the Pixar animated hit film Finding Nemo. She also starred in two television sitcoms, The Ellen Show from 2001 to 2002 and Ellen from 1994 to 1998. In 1997 during the fourth season of Ellen, she "came out" publicly as a lesbian in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Shortly afterwards, her character Ellen Morgan also came out and the series went on to explore various LGBT issues as well as the "coming out" process.

Ellen is married to Portia de Rossi.

Reviews

[Clumsy Storyteller · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of the funniest books i ve ever read ! i love Ellen so much she is a great human being and funny i loved her books so much and this one is my favorite



“That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it.”

i had so many "funny monents that left me laughing out loud :p" LOVE YOU ELLEN :D



Was I good at anything?
Athletics, I suppose. You were on the tennis team. And you started the girls golf team. You were the only one on the team, playing every day by yourself. You would whack the ball very aggressively then acknowledge the applause of a crowd that only existed in your mind. Very strange and more than slightly disturbing.

[Stacie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book extremely hard to get through. I love Ellen, and her brand of humor. Why did I dislike the book so much? Well, I finished reading the book yesterday. Except if you can't see the date, then you might think today is yesterday, which it may have well been depending on when you read this review. But if you read the review a year from now, then me saying I read it yesterday will be irrelevant. But if you read this review today, then it can be accurately concluded that it was really truly yesterday that I finished reading the book. Cover to cover. But if you didn't get a copy of the book with a cover on it, you will have no idea what I am talking about. Like if your dog ate it or you happen to buy a book at a bookstore for cheap because it doesn't have a cover on it. And in that case, I hope the bookstore guy sold it at half price, because it would really stink to buy a book without a cover and not know what it is until you get it home.

(get my drift? thats almost the entire book. I love her act in person, but I expected to learn a little bit more about her than I did by reading the book.)

[Miranda Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I was born, bred, and lightly sautéed in and around New Orleans."

I've been on a bit of an old-school Ellen kick and picked this one up.

Comedy doesn't always ring true through the decades, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect for Ellen's thirty year old book...but I was pleasantly surprised.

This one was written shortly after the success from her television show (though, I think it was before she became so jaded...though perhaps she always was and just hid it better decades ago).

"I hope it does what I intended for it to do when I decided to write it. I hope it entertains you, inspires you, makes you laugh...makes you feel better about yourself..."

There were plenty of funny moments and some that were lovely and real.

"That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it."

This one was definitely quirky. Very, very quirky.

Almost too much quirk for one book but if you are looking for a quick, light read...then this is the book for you.

"And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad.'"

Audiobook Comments
Read by the author (always a plus in my book) however, I soon learned that there were plenty of doodles in this book and opted to stop listening and started reading!

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[Nika · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would have loved to give this book at least 2 stars, just because it's Ellen & I love her so much!! But no, that's totally out of the question :/
I guess Ellen developed her "sense of humour" throughout the years as this book was written in 1995 & I found it hardly entertaining. I had to chuckle a few times but that's pretty much it.
It's even impossible to sum it up as it's a collection of stories about nothing & everything. They are supposed to be funny situations out of Ellen's life but the whole thing is just too pointless & too confusing to be enjoyable. The running gag here is Ellen's commentary on how she has to write this book consisting of at least 60,000 words to satisfy her lawyers & how hard writing was for her at times. Well, that actually comes off more as reality than a joke. It does seem like some chapters were written simply to fill up space.
Unfortunately, it has been disappointing all in all & I wouldn't really recommend the book :( Let's see what her latest one is like!

[Missy LeBlanc Ivey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ellen Degeneris was born on January 26, 1958 in Metaire, Louisiana. I read this book many years ago, around 1993, when I was about 29 years old. It had me and my daughter CRACKING UP!!! I wouldn't mind finding another used copy at Goodwill and re-reading just to see if it will still have me rolling on the floor. I'm a lot older now...57. I can't remember what had me laughing so hard.

[Učitaj se! | Martina Štivičić · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simpatična, full duhovita i zabavna knjiga... baš kao Ellen.

[Cristina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh boy... I can’t even begin to tell you how disappointing this book was. It was full of nonsense. I had such high expectations considering that the book was written by Ellen. I mean, I know who she is and what she does in the present and this book was published in 1995... but still. WTF... I was so sure I would read an amazing book, a hilarious one. But I was so wrong. There were a few advices, but even those were surrounded by stupid, not related, things.
2 stars. And I think I’m generous.

[Robyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I respect Ellen DeGeneres as a person and I enjoy her comedy. This book, however, was not a great idea. I went to the library for her latest, Seriously...I'm Kidding, and figured I'd pick up her others at the same time. Unfortunately, her comedy relies a lot on inflection, timing, and facial expressions. These are things that do not translate to print. She even says as much when she explains why she's not including her signature Phone Call To God bit.

Here are two examples to show exactly how the comedy doesn't translate:
"I've got to relax somehow. Why didn't I think of this sooner? I'll recline my seat. Oh, that makes all the difference. That 3/4 of an inch between upright and reclined is the difference between agony and ecstasy. I never thought 3/4 of an inch could mean so much. Now I can sleep. When I get home, I'm going to put some gizmo in my chairs so that they go back 3/4 of an inch, too. I wouldn't overdo it like the guy sitting in front of me. His seat goes so far back that his head is practically in my lap. I can pretty much read his newspaper. I'd better not get too comfortable in my 3/4 of an inch recline because toward the end of the flight, the flight attendant is going to say, 'You're going to have to put your seat in the upright position for landing.' They're so adamant about that every single time, like that's gonna make a difference. Because if we crash, the investigators are going to say, 'Oh, that's a shame, her seat was reclined 3/4 of an inch. When will they learn? What was that--thirty thousand feet? She could have made that. Sheesh. If only she'd been upright.'"
Watch: http://youtu.be/k3KvWVU-WgU

"Just last week I was driving when I saw this skinny looking stray dog out on the street. So I stopped, got out, and tried to coax the dog into my car so that I could take it to a rescue shelter. All these people on the street were staring at me like I was crazy. Well, I'm kind of used to that, so I continued, 'Here boy, here Scrappy.' When I don't know an animal's name, I always assume that it's Scrappy--even though I've never been right. Then I saw why people were staring at me. It wasn't a dog, it was a coyote (who oddly enough was called Scrappy). I can only imagine what a disaster it would have been if I had gotten the coyote into my car."
Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUjL_F...

Ellen's comedy is often a matter of making a statement that's somewhat funny, then adding what seems to be a throwaway qualifying statement that is both funnier than the first and makes the first funnier in itself. Much of this is done through volume and facial changes. She says the first statement loudly and clearly while looking directly at the audience or camera, then follows it by looking to one side or down and adding something else more quickly and quieter. Those things cannot be done in text. If you're still not sure whether or not the book is for you, go to a bookstore or library (or even the Google Books Preview, search for the word "Spoogy" or the phrase "ipso facto") and read the chapter titled "Ask Ellen" (page 157 in the hardcover). If you find it funny, go for it. If you don't, it's best to put the book back on the shelf.

[Rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am a huge fan of ellen and was hoping the poor reviews were wrong. I admire ellen and she is my favourite comedian. However I struggled to get through this book. It is horribly boring. I really gave it a go, I got to the end when I really didn't even want to keep reading. The problem is, I think, her book material is written as a standup, relying heavily on expression, timing etc... It does NOT transfer well in written form. I regret spending the money on this book. I didn't even crack a smile, let alone laugh. Not humorous for me whatsoever :( very disappointed. Please save your money. If you really want to read it, borrow from a library. But its not worth the time imo.

[Ivy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to know more about Ellen. I had a few good laughs throughout the story and there were some quotes that I related to. But I felt like the entire book was written as a joke. None of what was written was believable for the most part and it seemed like someone was just telling me a make believe story about a certain event. I wanted it to be more of something that taught me something about her and be something relatable instead of reading make believe stories about how she gives her neighborhood children (from five years old and up) alcohol while telling boring stories that are supposed to be funny. A little disappointed.

[Kailee · Rating 1 out of 5]

As much as I love Ellen, I hated her book. It was incredibly boring, & not at all funny. It was like she tried way too hard to be funny, & the opposite came across. I almost stopped reading it halfway through, but I stuck it out because I like to finish what I start.

[Akearney · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yikes, most unfunny book by a comedian ever! Thank goodness for David Sedaris.

[Noni]

Got about a quarter of the way through, and didn't care enough to continue. It's like when someone tries reeeeaaally hard to be funny, but instead it just comes across as them trying too hard to make you laugh. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[Viggo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ellen is literally so hilarious 😂🤣 I was laughing my pants of the whole darn time!!😅😅 Can’t wait to read her next book and get me rolling in the floor again😇🙏🤗

[Go · Rating 1 out of 5]

I like the occasional pointless book but it needs to have some entertainment value, this fell short. Too bad, because I like Ellen’s sense of humor. It seemed like she was trying too hard to be funny and it backfired. Towards the end of the book it got annoying as she kept going on about her contractual obligation to write at least 60,000 words for the book. If she would have made fun of life situations it would have worked better. Instead she kept making stuff up. In short—this was rambling nonsense.

Excerpts:
In mentioning the ¾” reclining seat on an airplane she commented how flight attendants are adamant about instructing the passengers to put it in its upright position for landing as if it will make a difference. “Because if we crash, the investigators are going to say, ‘Oh, that’s a shame, her seat was reclined ¾ inch. When will they learn? What was that—thirty thousand feet? She could have made that. Sheesh. If only she’d been upright.’ ”

She claimed to have visited a psychic. Half the time she joked afterwards that she really didn’t do what she just said she did, so I don’t know if any of this was to be believed. “I asked him about my past lives, hoping that I had been Cleopatra or, at the very least, someone who once had lunch with Cleopatra. He told me that once I had been a monkey, but that in my last life I was a spring roll at a Chinese restaurant. Now that’s ridiculous, even though it does explain a recurring nightmare where I’m held upside down over a dish of hot mustard sauce.”

She spoke about the downside of her hospital visit (not that there ever really is an upside). “Another thing that’s awful is the gown they make you wear. It doesn’t fit right, and it’s completely open in the back, leaving exposed an area of my body that I traditionally keep covered. You walk down the hall and it’s just flap, flap, flapping in the breeze—the gown, that is, the part of my body I traditionally keep covered wasn’t flap, flap, flapping…I think Cher wore one to the Oscars last year.”

There was an absurd bit about animal testing for the sake of cosmetics and then it went into them taking the SATs. Utter nonsense that was not even funny. Maybe it would be different in person depending on the comedic delivery. This didn’t do it for me. She had a section about cures for ailments which had nothing to do with anything, much like the rest of the book. Her cure for the hiccups was to wear a Viking helmet and snowshoes while watching reruns of “Dynasty.” That’s as funny as it got people.

[Janus the Erudite Artist · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a blast with reading Seriously... I’m Kidding, which is Ellen’s third book, but I didn’t find My Point... and I Do Have One as fun. Both books have pretty much the same idea and My Point... and I Do Have One even has these cute doodles in them. Sadly it didn’t make the book funnier.

I love Ellen and the way she makes people laugh with just a few words. But the focus of each chapter in this book kind of gets lost whenever she shifts suddenly to an off topic subject (a problem I didn’t have with Seriously... I’m Kidding). It was a little confusing sometimes. Also, most of the really funny parts where in the chapters near the end of the book.

I guess since this was written years ago (90s), it may have been in a different form of humor (if you ask me how or in what form exactly, I don’t know. I’m trying to figure that out too) that I don’t find amusing. Or maybe it lacks the vocal way of Ellen’s spiel-delivery (but then again I read Seriously... I’m Kidding with the same omission but I still found it funny). Whatever the reason, it wasn’t as funny as I expected.

For more of my reviews, please visit my blog:
The Blair Book Project @ www.theblairbookproject.blogspot.com

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some comics have a sense of humor that easily translates to ink and paper. Unfortunately, I think Ellen's genius loses a lot when you can't see what she's doing. Her facial expressions, body language, and mastery of the dramatic pause just don't come through in My Point ... And I Do Have One.

Having seen some of Ellen's standup acts, the sections discussing weird bathroom behaviors and airplane experiences were the funniest because I could envision her actions. The parts about meeting her publisher's word count and making the lawyers happy were amusing, but not up to her standard. I thought this book would be a little bit more about her life than just a written routine -- I would love to know more about her childhood in Louisiana and what it was like being raised as a Christian Scientist.

She's still one of my favorite comedians, but I would recommend watching her act instead of reading it.

[Alex · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've always thought Ellen was pretty funny and I was looking for a laugh, so I picked this up. I've heard her later books are great and much better, but I have this thing about having to start from the beginning with books. Since this was her first published book, I had to start here.

I did laugh a few times, but overall this was just annoying to read. She bounced around from one mindless rambling thought to the next, and it just became a little grating. From the middle of the book and on, she reminds you constantly that she was under contractual obligation to write 60,000 words, and so she just starts writing random things like "blah blah blah". I wish I was kidding.

Overall, this had its funny points but was ultimately disappointing. I see tons of negative reviews on this but positive reviews on her later works, so I will still read those when I need a good laugh again.

[Joseph Hare · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm really surprised by how low this is rated on Goodreads, people do not like this book. I think possibly part of the problem is that these days people are of course familiar with Ellen Degeneres from her talk show, and although she's retained a similar style of humour throughout her years as a comedian, this book was written before her talk-show days and is more like a long, written-out standup act, which was what she did at the time. You should see her perform stand-up before you read this book, otherwise the whole thing will probably seem a bit calamitous.
I really enjoyed it, I like that there was never a focus and she never really cared about telling her life story, she just wanted to write some jokes and make a fun book to read. A lot of it is non-sequitur, and just plain goofy. Some people like that, some people don't.

[Ann Crawford · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really fun ride!

Well, with a book by Ellen Degeneres, how could it be anything but a really fun ride? I read this on the plane to our vacation (another really fun ride!), and I’m sure I startled more than one passenger with my LOLs from this great read.

One thing I really appreciated was Ellen’s authenticity. With celebrities we never know if what we see is what they really are, but I felt like I got a better glimpse into the real Ellen....who seems to be as much a character behind the scenes as she is in the spotlight. Thanks for lifting us up into that higher realm of laughter, Ellen, in this book and otherwise. It’s a glorious gift you give so generously, and it’s a lot of fun to receive.

[Victoria · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was expecting this book to tell me more about Ellen herself and her life. Instead it was just like one long joke - "I did this...ok, only joking, no I never" that sort of thing. I got boring. I didn't discover anything new about Ellen. The only redeeming feature was that it was over relatively quickly. Had it been any longer, I doubt I would have finished it.

[Amy D.P. · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was obviously still trying to hide Ellen's Sexuality. I thought this was supposed to be a biography, but it was a poorly written book with some funny anecdotes thrown in.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another fun, light-hearted read from Ellen! Not quite as funny as 'Seriously... I'm Kidding' but still worth a read if you are a fan of Ellen.

[Hannah ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

a good book to read from when you had a bad day.

[Jordan Kinsey · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a stupid, stupid book.

[Ivan Magnus · Rating 4 out of 5]

“If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should use prisoners who have been convicted of murder or rape instead. So, rather than seeing if perfume irritates a bunny rabbit's eyes, they should throw it in Charles Manson's eyes and ask him if it hurts.”

Already read Ellen's other books and thought they were funny but this is my favorite. I think this book is hilarious and also relevant, (don't know why) it surprised me that I read about, like, how women should look "according to society", animal cruelty (like Ellen, I also don't get why people go hunting, just WHY?) and people in general. I really enjoyed this, it made me laugh so hard/loud and it has been a while since I read a book that did that.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

As many of us know, this is a tough month for me. I’m losing my daily best friend Aunt Ellen. Yes, I like to pretend she’s my aunt. When I was a virtual audience member, she sent me perfume and only a family member sends gifts.

To try and ease the pain I decided to read her books. I think if a random person picked this up they might not find it that funny. Since I’m so used to hearing her talk though I was able to just speak in an Ellen voice the whole time and it really came to life. Without that I think some would be lost (proves to be true in my next review). I was surprised at how overly sarcastic the book is. At times it’s a bit much. Did enjoy this though and I laughed out loud at many parts.

[Suman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm still wondering what is the point, despite reading the whole book. It's a disjointed narrative with a cocktail of so many concepts that don't get to any point! She mentions one thing and just runs away with it without making any sense. There is no unifying strand in the book except for Ellen trying to be humorous - which might work well on stage but definitely not in writing.

Skip the book and you won't miss anything. (I can safely say the same about her other 2 books - Seriously..I'm kidding (that she is!) and The funny thing is)

[Rachel B · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

This is a mildly entertaining book - very hit or miss for me. Some sections were genuinely funny, but much of it felt like filler; then, there was a fair amount of profanity, including God's name used disrespectfully. Also, some very unnecessary sexual references/humor.

Because this book was published so long ago (1995), there are several cultural references I just didn't get (I was born in 1989), but I did enjoy the mention of the Ernest movies - that brought me back. :)

(As a total aside, it seems this was published before DeGeneres came out as gay, because all of the relationship topics were heterosexual in nature. I just found this interesting; it didn't affect my rating/review.)

[Barb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some very funny laugh out loud moments, but a little frantic and rambling. I love Ellen and in her defense this was, I believe, her first book and while it is trademark Ellen, humor is difficult when put into print form. Without the ability to time the punch lines or see the facial expressions and body language, you lose much of the humor.