Holy Hunger: A Woman's Journey from Food Addiction to Spiritual Fulfillment

by Margaret Bullitt-Jonas

A wrenchingly honest, eloquent memoir “about true nourishment that comes not from [eating] but from engaging on a spiritual path."— Los Angeles Times

In this brave and perceptive account of compulsion and the healing process, Bullitt-Jonas describes a childhood darkened by the repressive shadows of her alcoholic father and her emotionally reclusive mother, whose demands for excellence, poise, and self-control drove Bullitt-Jonas to develop an insatiable hunger.

What began with pilfering extra slices of bread at her parents' dinner table turned into binges with cream pies and pancakes, sometimes gaining as much as eleven pounds in four days. When the family urged her father into treatment, the author recognized her own addiction and embarked on the path to recovery by discovering the spiritual hunger beneath her craving for food.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Health, Spirituality, Food, Biography Memoir, Psychology

255 pages, Paperback

First published December 29, 1998

Reviews

[Anita Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was a wonderful book. While I have never struggled with binge-eating disorder personally, I could relate to all of the family drama, particularly regarding the author's alcoholic father. Her writing is absolutely beautiful. I was a little wary of this book at first, as I am not a particularly religious person and was a little worried that this woman would end up lecturing me on finding religion to save my soul or go on and on about how finding God helped her to put down her fork- but the focus here is more on the spirituality of your inner soul and your heart and healing within yourself- in fact, organized religion is hardly mentioned at all. The author's writing is poignant and beautiful. I was moved to tears more than once while I was reading this, as many of her words truly hit home for me and my own personal struggles with existing in a dysfunctional family. This is a wonderful story about a woman's brave struggle to save herself from her inner demons, and I recommend it thoroughly not just to people who struggle with eating disorders, but suffering from any kind of addiction or simply struggling to find inner peace and wellness.

[Spook Sulek · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oddly, her experience of living with an alcoholic father is what came through loudest for me, not the issues she had with food or finding spiritual meaning in her life. Saying that around her father it wasn't safe to have feelings (p. 34) really spoke to me. Her observations about overeating were clear, p. 66 especially, when Bullitt-Jonas describes what she was expressing about her life and her mental state through her eating habits. Her discussion of what OA meant to her is valuable (p. 110, 132 in particular). Overall, a thoughtful memoir that takes you into the author's life experience with grace and depth.

[Elizabeth Gordon · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author of this book is wise, but to me seems a little full of it. She uses a lot of metaphors and reasoning that sometimes seem corny and forced, although sometimes are thought-provoking.

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really interesting memoir about a woman who is “addicted” to bingeing. She ends up combatting this by going to Overeaters Anonymous and also relying on prayer. (This solution was fascinating to me. In fairness, she also talks extensively about learning to deal with her emotions rather than just eating. But she considers food to be an addiction for her, which is fascinating.) The last 25% of the book focused very explicitly on her relationships with her mother and her father. I understand why she wanted to assess each of those relationships, but to me those parts felt a bit too long/out of place in this book. But overall, an excellent book.

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book spoke to me, I felt that she writes to some of my own desire and my struggle to fill that desire with outside quick fixes. From page 248” Never imagine when you put down your drug, your food,your alcohol, your credit cards that everything will be peaceful, everything will be calm. Never think for a minute that stopping an addiction means that your desires will fall obediently to sleep. On the contrary. For me, at least, it was only when I stopped attaching all of my desires to food that a larger, deeper desire could flow freely through me. “. Margaret Bullit-Jonas

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was very different from what I was expecting, but also very thoughtful and well-written. It's less about the "spiritual fulfillment" mentioned in the title than it is about doing the work to counteract the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional (but well-off, respected, and outwardly normal) family. I didn't know much about binge eating disorder, and the most surprising thing I learned is that it has little to do with craving the taste of food and more to do with craving the feeling of fullness. Margaret writes with a lot of self-awareness but doesn't overdo it with therapy-speak.

[Janessa Nations · Rating 2 out of 5]

I always feel bad rating memoirs low. My rating isn’t for the story itself. The writing was wonderful - captivating even. But for a book called Holy Hunger, I was expecting more about her spiritual journey. But only a few pages were really dedicated to that and it was very vague. I think the title should have been something different. So that left me disappointed.

There was also a descriptive scene of her masturbating and that just felt… out of place. It just wasn’t necessary to be so graphic. I kind of wanted to quit when I hit that part.

[Alexis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the descriptions of some of her parents lives, but she came from a place of such immense privilege, with far more parental interaction and love than most of us get, that’s it’s difficult to empathize at all.

[Phylisha Stone · Rating 4 out of 5]

The daughter of an alcoholic father and a emotionally absent mother uses food as a panacea.

[Kendall · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Callie · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Not preachy with religion (just her personal spiritual awakening), but not enough conversations around her eating disorder for me personally. Readers with complicated relationships with their parents may find a deeper connection here.

"I used to think that a saint was someone who had no desires. Now I know otherwise. A saint is someone who knows what he or she most deeply desires and, if need be, can let everything else go".

Song: Plumb - "Damaged".
*Book52Club Challenge 2024: #29 Published in a Year of the Dragon.

[Vb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. For me, it was straight out of Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly." Strumming my pain with her fingers and singing my life with her words, Ms. Bullitt-Jonas made me cry over and over again as she wrote this story which was so intensely personal and yet so like my own private history of pain. It moved me in so many places, I had the urge to underline the words on nearly every page because I felt they were mine. She had written what I wished I had the courage to say. This book will perhaps not have wide appeal, but if you or someone you know suffers from an addiction -- food or otherwise -- it maybe shed some light. It helped me.

[Yazmin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found her writing about herself during her addition and early recovery a bit distant, which was a little surprising since she is a very accomplished Harvard literary scholar. But her writing about her family, the intricate dynamics, and especially her parents after her recovery very insightful and compassionate.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am always looking for more information on nutirition, health and diet. I love this story of addiction to spiritual contentment and the true value of food. Brings a whole new perspective of the value of your body is a temple of the spirit. Can totally respect a woman who bears her soul and share her journey as an example for others.

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I have ever read about addiction. She is a wonderful writer and speaks to addiction is such an honest way. I borrowed the copy I read, but loved it so much that I just requested a copy from Barnes & Noble so that I can return the borrowed one and reread my own copy.

[T Crockett · Rating 4 out of 5]

In many ways this reminded me of the memoir Lit. There's such honesty about the pain that accompanies addiction and the journey out of it. Having said that, the book isn't depressing. There's hope and growth and acceptance.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and couldn't put it down. It was beautifully written. The author was not afraid to go to hard places. She didn't stoop to blaming and shaming. A great explanation of addiction and the difficulties children of alcoholics face.

[Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a lovely reflection on the path to health out of a compulsive food disorder. The author is one of the most gentle, holy, lovely people imaginable and her writing is beautiful.

[Michelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I never finished this book...and I rarely do that.

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extremely insightful about the nature of addiction.

[Rachael Steil · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting insight, but not my favorite memoir