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When God Doesn't Answer Your Prayer
More than a decade ago, Jerry Sittser prayed for the protection of his family, yet three of his loved ones---his daughter, his wife, and his mother---died in an automobile accident. What went wrong? 'Why wasn't my prayer answered?' he asks. 'It is no longer an abstract question to me. What should we do and how should we respond when our prayers---prayers that seem right and true and good---go unanswered?' In When God Doesn't Answer Your Prayer, Sittser continues exploring the issues he addressed in A Grace Disguised. He asks, 'Why doesn't God answer our prayers? What, if anything, can we do about it?' Sittser is intensely committed to exploring the Christian faith, especially when it doesn't seem to 'work.' In this thoughtful and beautifully written book, he moves beyond easy answers and religious formulas to explore the goodness and greatness of a God who cannot be controlled but can be trusted. When God Doesn't Answer Your Prayer takes an honest and probing look at the problem of unanswered prayer. In doing so, it draws us ever deeper into a relationship with the God who is the end of all our prayers, the object of our faith, the one who fulfills our deepest longings.
206 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2003
40 people are currently reading
294 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
March 14, 2017
It should not have taken me this long to read this very short book. I picked it up and put it down way too frequently, so lost a bit of continuity. However, I did find it to be a very comforting, encouraging and thought-provoking book. It is not as comprehensive as Prayer by Philip Yancey, yet it is very down-to-earth and practical written by someone who lived through a very big prayer not being answered in his life.
July 1, 2015
One of the Best Books of Prayer!!!
This is a book for every christian. If you are a new believer or have years in church, this book is for you. Mr Sittser answer one of the most difficult question in christian history, why my preyers doesn't answer?
This is a book for every christian. If you are a new believer or have years in church, this book is for you. Mr Sittser answer one of the most difficult question in christian history, why my preyers doesn't answer?
January 13, 2011
This book has changed the way I think about and approach my prayer life. It is a wonderful book that provided me exactly what it promises - a greater faith and a deeper hope. Highly recommended!
April 25, 2020
Jerry Sittser knows heartbreak. He lost his wife and one of his daughters in a car accident. In When God Doesn’t Answer Your Prayer, Sittser considers how to navigate those painful moments when our prayers are met with silence.
Sittser suggests that at the heart of true prayer is desperation. Sittser suggests that many of us aren’t desperate. He says, “The reason why we don’t pray anymore—and probably don’t see more answers to prayer—is not because we don’t know how to pray but because we don’t really need to pray. We are not desperate enough.”
Sittser says that the presence of the Psalms and Job point us to the reality that God would rather us cry out in anger than not communicate with him at all. In fact, he says it appears in scripture that, “God prefers working with people who like to fight.” He tells us that the Psalms teach us that, “God can take our complaints. He even welcomes our complaints. He tells us to express our frustration directly to him, even when it involves what appears to be his own failure.”
Sometimes God doesn’t answer our prayers because our prayers are for our own pride and power. “Strange as it may sound, we need unanswered prayer. It is God’s gift to us because it protects us from ourselves.” Sittser says that through unanswered prayer God aligns our will with his. Our
Unanswered prayer also develops our faith. “Persistence can enrich our relationship with God.” God wants for us to strive for him in prayer and to develop tenacity in our pursuit of him. In persistently praying, we learn the heart of God. And this is God’s ultimate aim for our prayer life.
Sittser is a godly man and a good guide for anyone who has struggled with the disappointment of unanswered prayer. And that is most of us. There are only a few minor flaws that held Sittser’s When God Doesn’t Answer Prayer from being as great as I hoped it would be. While it wouldn’t be the first book I would offer for those who are struggling with God (I just finished Larry Crabb’s “Shattered Dreams,” which is excellent), it is a sound guide.
For more reviews see www.thebeehive.live.
Sittser suggests that at the heart of true prayer is desperation. Sittser suggests that many of us aren’t desperate. He says, “The reason why we don’t pray anymore—and probably don’t see more answers to prayer—is not because we don’t know how to pray but because we don’t really need to pray. We are not desperate enough.”
Sittser says that the presence of the Psalms and Job point us to the reality that God would rather us cry out in anger than not communicate with him at all. In fact, he says it appears in scripture that, “God prefers working with people who like to fight.” He tells us that the Psalms teach us that, “God can take our complaints. He even welcomes our complaints. He tells us to express our frustration directly to him, even when it involves what appears to be his own failure.”
Sometimes God doesn’t answer our prayers because our prayers are for our own pride and power. “Strange as it may sound, we need unanswered prayer. It is God’s gift to us because it protects us from ourselves.” Sittser says that through unanswered prayer God aligns our will with his. Our
Unanswered prayer also develops our faith. “Persistence can enrich our relationship with God.” God wants for us to strive for him in prayer and to develop tenacity in our pursuit of him. In persistently praying, we learn the heart of God. And this is God’s ultimate aim for our prayer life.
Sittser is a godly man and a good guide for anyone who has struggled with the disappointment of unanswered prayer. And that is most of us. There are only a few minor flaws that held Sittser’s When God Doesn’t Answer Prayer from being as great as I hoped it would be. While it wouldn’t be the first book I would offer for those who are struggling with God (I just finished Larry Crabb’s “Shattered Dreams,” which is excellent), it is a sound guide.
For more reviews see www.thebeehive.live.
August 7, 2025
"Is the purpose of prayer to receive what we ask for? Well, yes and no. God wants to answer our prayers. But God wants us to know him, too. If anything, that is God's best answer to prayer... Persistence leads to a more mature prayer life. We will begin to see God as worthy of our greatest love and affection, as if a relationship with God were the goal of our prayers and not merely the acquisition of things we want from God."
April 25, 2020
This book was not what I expected but in all the right ways. recommend.
February 1, 2010
Everyone struggled with unanswered prayers. What I have learned for myself is that prayer excavates the heart- who is your idol? Unanswered prayers make me to be more aware of my needs, my weaknessess, my inadequacies and my sinfulness. It drives me to God and help me to be more attentive to what God is trying to use this struggle to transform me.
Few of the many quotes I love from the book:
This is our comfort, because God answers every prayer; for either he gives what we pray for, or something far better - Soren Kierkegaard
It is not that our prayers are not answered, it is that we do not accept the answer - Kosti Tolenon
You must be patient...until your hands are completely open - Henri Nouwen
Few of the many quotes I love from the book:
This is our comfort, because God answers every prayer; for either he gives what we pray for, or something far better - Soren Kierkegaard
It is not that our prayers are not answered, it is that we do not accept the answer - Kosti Tolenon
You must be patient...until your hands are completely open - Henri Nouwen
March 3, 2017
One of the great mysteries of Christianity is prayer. Despite the fact that Christians are praying many, many prayers every single day, terrible things still happen both to the world and even the people we care about the most. Thus, one of the biggest stumbling blocks towards people fully accepting Christ as their savior is the fact that so many prayers seemed to go unanswered. In this book, Jerry Sittser tackles that issue head-on.
Obviously, a book like this does not contain "concrete answers". Trying to fully understand God is impossible for the human intellect, so you must just live with the fact that we can't "know everything" about the complexities of prayer. What Sittser does, however, is cull from his scholarly Biblical training as well as his own personal experiences to take the reader on a journey into the depths of what "prayer" can really do all about.
This is an issue of Christianity that I myself often struggle with (e.g. praying to God and feeling as if all I'm getting is a "blank wall"), so I was pleased that such a book even exists in the first place. I was worried that Sittser would offer little more than motivational advice, but instead he gives a very well-researched, well thought-out case as to why he continues to pray in spite of his own personal tragedy.
This book also can appeal to do different types of readers. Those who already have a strong base of Christianity will lean towards the author's more personal experiences. Those who may just be starting their walk with Christ will appreciate the quotes/examples from Biblical times right up through the present day that Sittser uses to illustrate his points.
Overall, I found this book to be very insightful and finished it in short order. Like I said, it (practically by definition) cannot be an "answer book", but it does provide some wonderful testimonials and lessons upon both the mystery and power of prayer.
Obviously, a book like this does not contain "concrete answers". Trying to fully understand God is impossible for the human intellect, so you must just live with the fact that we can't "know everything" about the complexities of prayer. What Sittser does, however, is cull from his scholarly Biblical training as well as his own personal experiences to take the reader on a journey into the depths of what "prayer" can really do all about.
This is an issue of Christianity that I myself often struggle with (e.g. praying to God and feeling as if all I'm getting is a "blank wall"), so I was pleased that such a book even exists in the first place. I was worried that Sittser would offer little more than motivational advice, but instead he gives a very well-researched, well thought-out case as to why he continues to pray in spite of his own personal tragedy.
This book also can appeal to do different types of readers. Those who already have a strong base of Christianity will lean towards the author's more personal experiences. Those who may just be starting their walk with Christ will appreciate the quotes/examples from Biblical times right up through the present day that Sittser uses to illustrate his points.
Overall, I found this book to be very insightful and finished it in short order. Like I said, it (practically by definition) cannot be an "answer book", but it does provide some wonderful testimonials and lessons upon both the mystery and power of prayer.
September 25, 2018
This is a very good book because it strengthens your belief after reading, although in the end of it, the author also admitted that, we may never know why God doesn't answer some of the prayers. We guess maybe we prayed for the wrong things, or maybe we are insincere, or it is not yet the time, or it is not according to God's will.
Still, the author kept praying after his prayer for the protection of his daughter failed. Prayer itself seems has great power. The power doesn't lie in the answers, but that when we pray, a good pray pulls out our heart, to reach the God closer, to demonstrate how much we need of him, his protection, his godly wisdom and guidance that we couldn't deny.
For me, I value prayer as a connection. It is like the bond you have for your parents. When you call your dad and mom, what they said doesn't matter more than they listen and hear your cries, how they answer doesn't weigh higher than they are there to be ready to listen to you and answer.
Imagine a world without God, what to do when people are in darkness and hopeless? What to do when you feel you are overwhelmed by the falling power, or in the big turmoil of evilness and temptation? One man’s strength is limited. We are all sentimental. Prayer is our only weapon left.
Like speech, prayer is the weapon for protecting our soul. The answer to a prayer may not matter, what matters is to pray, sincerely, by heart. That's how a connection is established, which is called faith, or trust.
Trust takes our soul home - to the heaven, a place so-called where we can live with God forever. Isn't this what we are truly longing for? And isn't this God's will?
God will never abandon us, so you have his number, just pray(call).
September 6, 2024
I have mixed feelings about this book. I don't necessarily disagree with anything the author said but I do disagree with how and more importantly when he said things.
It felt like the first half of the book really portrayed prayer as powerless or impotent and can leave the reader feeling discouraged or even hopeless. It also suggests that the only appropriate response at times when prayers are unanswered is to be angry and last out at God. While those are all valid feelings that many of us experience at times, I feel that people picking up this book are looking for hope, something to cling to in their times of despair. The author offers none of that for the first half of the book and I fear that many who are struggling might never get past that and walk away feeling that prayer is a waste of time.
In the second half of the book he does begin to come into some of the benefits of prayer but even there I feel he comes up short. One aspect of prayer that he doesn't seem to mention at all is how prayer can give us peace in the midst of the storm, how we can be comforted by God's presence even if our circumstances are changing.
I can't even begin to imagine the heartache and despair that the author felt with his loss and I can imagine that resulted in many dark moments of hopelessness, despair, anger and bitterness. I hope that in those times, at least some of the time, he was comforted by prayer. If so, it is a shame that he didn't include that earlier in this book to provide hope for the hopeless.
It felt like the first half of the book really portrayed prayer as powerless or impotent and can leave the reader feeling discouraged or even hopeless. It also suggests that the only appropriate response at times when prayers are unanswered is to be angry and last out at God. While those are all valid feelings that many of us experience at times, I feel that people picking up this book are looking for hope, something to cling to in their times of despair. The author offers none of that for the first half of the book and I fear that many who are struggling might never get past that and walk away feeling that prayer is a waste of time.
In the second half of the book he does begin to come into some of the benefits of prayer but even there I feel he comes up short. One aspect of prayer that he doesn't seem to mention at all is how prayer can give us peace in the midst of the storm, how we can be comforted by God's presence even if our circumstances are changing.
I can't even begin to imagine the heartache and despair that the author felt with his loss and I can imagine that resulted in many dark moments of hopelessness, despair, anger and bitterness. I hope that in those times, at least some of the time, he was comforted by prayer. If so, it is a shame that he didn't include that earlier in this book to provide hope for the hopeless.
May 24, 2018
I really like Jerry Sitter’s style of writing, he writes the way he speaks. His book was referenced in another book that I was reading so I checked his story out on YouTube. Wow. Another reason why I like this book is it’s written from a personal journey and yes there is scripture foundation and reference but it’s a much more personal book rather then an academic book, which is what I wanted.
February 2, 2019
Jerry is fast becoming my favourite Christian author after CS Lewis. I love his honesty, I love that he doesn't pretend disasters strike or give Christian one liners that aren't helpful and bring condemnation. He is real, honest, positive, hopeful. His books are like a warm hug through the doubts and the questions about God and suffering.
March 14, 2021
Some of the questions at the ends of chapters have obvious answers, but if you want to dig in to this topic, I highly recommend this book. Actually, I’ve enjoyed other books by this author, too. He really understands loss and has a way of processing it that is both faith-focused and thoughtful, not preachy or surfacey. A very helpful and well-written book.
January 6, 2019
I love Jerry Sittser and his books always leave me with so much to think about. This book wasn't nearly as healing, however, as A Grace Disguised. There were moments where I'm not sure I agreed with him, but also wonderful concepts to walk away with, so overall I'd recommend it.
October 10, 2020
It took me a long time to read this book; I would read a little, get frustrated and put it down and then try again. I have had an unanswered prayer for a long time and I don’t feel like I got anything new out of this book. Summarized God is in control and that’s that..He is good and keep praying.
September 16, 2022
As with his book, A Grace Disguised, Sittser doesn't sugarcoat suffering or struggling with God. He's authentic and honest. But he also gives what answers he can, and encourages one to trust God -- often hard to do, as he admits.
June 5, 2023
Audiobook. Good read, tackling the hard topic of prayer and bad things in the world. Quickly tackles some difficult thoughts on trusting God. Would more recommend "A Grace Disguised" more as it tackles similar themes. Good book!
June 14, 2017
Made me think about things. Theologically, I agree with some of it, disagree with other parts of it. An interesting read.
March 11, 2020
This is a really well written book. I think it would help anyone struggling with this subject.
February 9, 2021
Praying is the journey seeking for GOD with patience to wait for His response and with courage to ask for change.
February 17, 2021
Very honest reflections after an agonizing loss
February 20, 2021
This book took me way too incredibly long to read. It will strength your prayer life, but need to be ready to read and in the right state of mind. Be prepared to face scriptural truths.
January 23, 2022
Awesome
March 24, 2022
Jerry had done interesting thoughts on prayer. Some were fruitful. Some were not.
May 5, 2023
Love Jerry, didn’t love the book. Not particularly new ideas, finished for the sake of finishing. Read A Grace Disguised though if you haven’t!
April 3, 2009
I "fast-read" this book (paperback edition). I liked the idea about prayer as an epic journey, how it is OK to be mad at God, and how prayer changes us.
Some quotes:
"Unanswered prayer is not the end of the story, not for me and not for you. It can send us on an epic journey that will lead us to places we could never imagine. I will be a hard journey; it will also be a wonderful journey." (page 42)
"Unanswered prayer breaks us, deepens us, exposes us, and transform us." (page 57)
"God can take our complaints. He even welcomes our complaints. He tells us to express our frustration directly to him, even when it involves what appears to be his own failure." (page 77)
"The point of prayer, after all, is the relationship itself, not the things we get from the relationship." (page 88)
"I am slowly discovering that culture affects how I pray more than I would like to admit." (page 132)
"The primary purpose of prayer is not to make life nice for us but to make us - and the world - new, according to God's will." (page 137)
"What we pray for is not even the most important question. It is why we pray. We pray because God is worthy of our prayers." (page 140)
"C.S. Lewis wrote, "God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to fed on... God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there., There is no such thing." (page 140)
"If we pray to know God and to glorify God, then our prayers will put God right where he belongs, as the center of things." (page 146)
"In our prayers we should also ask God to change us. He can then use us, as transformed people, to help change the world." (page 151)
"God's greatest gift to us is the Holy Spirit; our gift to God is simply ourselves, offered as living sacrifices." (page 162)
"My study of history reminds me that the people who pray usually end up being the same people who serve, sacrifice, and exercise influence." (page 190)
Some quotes:
"Unanswered prayer is not the end of the story, not for me and not for you. It can send us on an epic journey that will lead us to places we could never imagine. I will be a hard journey; it will also be a wonderful journey." (page 42)
"Unanswered prayer breaks us, deepens us, exposes us, and transform us." (page 57)
"God can take our complaints. He even welcomes our complaints. He tells us to express our frustration directly to him, even when it involves what appears to be his own failure." (page 77)
"The point of prayer, after all, is the relationship itself, not the things we get from the relationship." (page 88)
"I am slowly discovering that culture affects how I pray more than I would like to admit." (page 132)
"The primary purpose of prayer is not to make life nice for us but to make us - and the world - new, according to God's will." (page 137)
"What we pray for is not even the most important question. It is why we pray. We pray because God is worthy of our prayers." (page 140)
"C.S. Lewis wrote, "God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to fed on... God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there., There is no such thing." (page 140)
"If we pray to know God and to glorify God, then our prayers will put God right where he belongs, as the center of things." (page 146)
"In our prayers we should also ask God to change us. He can then use us, as transformed people, to help change the world." (page 151)
"God's greatest gift to us is the Holy Spirit; our gift to God is simply ourselves, offered as living sacrifices." (page 162)
"My study of history reminds me that the people who pray usually end up being the same people who serve, sacrifice, and exercise influence." (page 190)
Read
June 4, 2020Ever send a question through email and get no response? Well, they say no response these days is the new "no." And for some reason, I don't like it. It seems cold and discourteous. But I know that's not always the case. I'm guilty of the same thing. The other day I received a solicitation for money. I felt awkward to have to give a direct "no." So, I didn't respond.
The title and language of this book makes me think of a God who doesn't respond. The book was a nice introduction to prayer in light of God's will. However, I don't buy the premise. Whatever the reason, God doesn't always do what we desire him to do. However, it's not because he's not answering us. Sometimes his answer is going to be "no," but it is an answer. Sittser would agree (he even intimated as much), but kept using the language of "unanswered prayer." It's helpful in one sense, cause that's what it feels like is happening. However, the language and title communicates too much distance, and I don't feel it conveys the care or involvement God takes when our will may be contrary to his.
The content of the book was good, and I respect Sittser's story, but I found the emphasis was so strongly placed on transcendence, that perhaps not enough attention was given to God's immanence.
The title and language of this book makes me think of a God who doesn't respond. The book was a nice introduction to prayer in light of God's will. However, I don't buy the premise. Whatever the reason, God doesn't always do what we desire him to do. However, it's not because he's not answering us. Sometimes his answer is going to be "no," but it is an answer. Sittser would agree (he even intimated as much), but kept using the language of "unanswered prayer." It's helpful in one sense, cause that's what it feels like is happening. However, the language and title communicates too much distance, and I don't feel it conveys the care or involvement God takes when our will may be contrary to his.
The content of the book was good, and I respect Sittser's story, but I found the emphasis was so strongly placed on transcendence, that perhaps not enough attention was given to God's immanence.
Read
February 9, 2016Many thoughtful and helpful insights into situations when God doesn’t answer our prayers, including: :
- “All prayer is surrendering to God because God is supremely wonderful and glorious and good;”
- “The truth is always in the tension between God as divine and God as human, between God’s hidden will and God’s revealed will, between God’s plan for history and the prayers we say that shape the history God has planned;” and,
- the quotation from Søren Kierkegaard, “This is our comfort, because God answers every prayer; for either he gives what we pray for, or something far better.”
- “All prayer is surrendering to God because God is supremely wonderful and glorious and good;”
- “The truth is always in the tension between God as divine and God as human, between God’s hidden will and God’s revealed will, between God’s plan for history and the prayers we say that shape the history God has planned;” and,
- the quotation from Søren Kierkegaard, “This is our comfort, because God answers every prayer; for either he gives what we pray for, or something far better.”
May 12, 2020
This was a fantastic book on unanswered prayer but more than that it was one of the best Christian books I've ever read. I read it through tears in less than a day. It gave me great peace and insight. Some and in fact most of my prayers do get answered but a few important heartfelt prayers have yet to receive an answer, so that's what made me pick up this book. The author's answer on what to do when your prayers don't seem to get answered was a surprise to me but it makes sense. I highly recommend this book and want to read more by this author.
January 23, 2012
There are many books out there on this very topic and I found this to be one of the best. Unfortunately it was a library book and I didn't have time to finish it before I realized it was two days overdue. Lots of quotes and words of wisdom that you will want to mark up and refer to again and again so buy a copy, don't get it our of the library. It's a good book with a lot to digest but I'm still left needing an answer to the big question.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews