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You Are What You Think
"Attitude is everything." It's what makes the difference between those who succeed and those who fail. And it's easy to see-in other people. It's not as easy to recognize when our own attitude needs adjustment, or to know how to change it.
In You Are What You Think, David Stoop shows readers how to use self-talk to make positive changes in their attitudes and beliefs. Self-talk can be private speech, thoughts, or external speech, all of which shape emotions and behavior for good or bad. This popular book, previously published as Self-Talk, will help readers overcome stress, guilt, depression, anxiety, and anger; release the power of faith; choose healthy, positive thoughts; and more.
In You Are What You Think, David Stoop shows readers how to use self-talk to make positive changes in their attitudes and beliefs. Self-talk can be private speech, thoughts, or external speech, all of which shape emotions and behavior for good or bad. This popular book, previously published as Self-Talk, will help readers overcome stress, guilt, depression, anxiety, and anger; release the power of faith; choose healthy, positive thoughts; and more.
208 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 2003
232 people are currently reading
1365 people want to read
About the author
David Stoop
97 books18 followersDavid Stoop, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist in California. He received a master's in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary and a doctorate from the University of Southern California.
He is frequently heard as a cohost on the nationally syndicated New Life Live! radio and TV program.
David is the founder and director of the Center for Family Therapy in Newport Beach, California. He is also an adjunct professor at Fuller Seminary and serves on the executive board of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
David is a Gold Medallion-winning author who has written more than thirty books, including Forgiving the Unforgivable, and Rethink How You Think.
He resides with his wife Jan in Newport Beach, California, and has three sons and six grandchildren.
Connect with David on:
DrStoop.com
Facebook
Twitter
He is frequently heard as a cohost on the nationally syndicated New Life Live! radio and TV program.
David is the founder and director of the Center for Family Therapy in Newport Beach, California. He is also an adjunct professor at Fuller Seminary and serves on the executive board of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
David is a Gold Medallion-winning author who has written more than thirty books, including Forgiving the Unforgivable, and Rethink How You Think.
He resides with his wife Jan in Newport Beach, California, and has three sons and six grandchildren.
Connect with David on:
DrStoop.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
October 3, 2021
Average book. From the middle of the book till the end, David kept quoting the bible. A tad annoying because of that.
March 24, 2017
This is honestly one of the best self-help books I've read so far. It talks about God in s simple yet very profound way. What I loved about it was that it's easy to practice in your daily life ever since you begin reading it. Also, if I could say I learned something in specific is that the "should's" are demands that we put on ourselves or others and that has helped me a lot making a big impact in my emotions.
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January 13, 2014This book was particularly interesting to me for a number of reasons. The most relevant to my life however being that it really dug into the minds of those who tend to have stress problems or have problems dealing with the rise of anger and anxiety. Not to say I have any of these issues, but my mom and I were discussing the terms of the issues in light of others we know and I decided to read up on it. So in the end this book came along and it was actually very interesting to find out some of the stuff the author had to say. The author by the way being a Ph.D knew what he was talking about. Overall I would recommend this book to someone looking to find out more about themselves and others, and how the mind works.
December 10, 2024
This is the kind of book that one might want to own a copy of, especially if you are trying to follow Dr. Stoop's exercises. I must admit I did not take the time to do each one, however, there were many great take-aways that I hope will help me in the future. I appreciated his use of Bible characters to demonstrate very common human emotions and challenges that we all struggle with today. God is so wise. Who better to help teach us about ourselves?! David Stoop writes in a way that is easily understood, compassionate, truthful and helpful.
January 17, 2025
The bible references made this feel a lot like a sermon but if you can look past that (which can be a challenge if you're not a Christian). There are some valuable points in here though and it helps both with tools for oneself and to understand others.
December 28, 2016
The outcome of how we feel about events that take place in our lives is not a result of what happens to us but it's a result of our belief system
March 13, 2021
Generally this book is good, but it is very heavy on religion which I am not a fan of.
March 8, 2024
In this small volume, Stoop shares his belief that our attitudes are what explain what we think and what we do. He speaks to what he calls our “self-talk”, that small voice always at work in our heads, maintaining that if we gain better control over it, we can also change the way we behave. He believes positive self-talk is a tool everyone can use to have their emotions work for, rather than against them, so they can lead a happier life.
Stoop begins by explaining the five basic principles of self-talk: how thoughts create emotions and affect behavior; how we often think irrationally and how gaining control of our thoughts can break a negative cycle, change thinking and how we behave.
He speaks to the power of words to move things in either a positive or negative direction. Those same words shape our self-talk, making it important to understand where they come from. He shows how anger, begun in your self-talk and expressed, may feel good, but ventilating never reduces anger or solves a problem. Anger can be changed by purposefully expressing what one feels or needs instead.
Stoop devotes an entire chapter to depression, describing it as a universal experience and part of everyone’s life. It arises for a number of reasons, among them distorted thinking, arbitrary evidence, selective abstraction, overgeneralization and absolutist dichotomist thinking. He explains each of these in detail, providing examples to illustrate his points more fully. He follows it by laying out several steps individuals can take to minimize depressive feelings.
He shows how guilt is rooted in the past and how what he calls “shoulds, standards and scruples” can create a cycle of guilt and depression which keep people in despair. He believes that cycle keeps people in the past and can be stooped by looking to the present and future. He speaks to the issue of worry and anxiety and the false belief that if we worry about something, it will stop it from happening. He follows that by laying out ways to break the negative habits that help anxiety flourish, shows readers how to gain control of stress and identifies self-talk as the one tool available to everyone to cope with the stress of everyday life.
In the chapter on aggression and assertiveness, he explains how they are different. Assertiveness is never motivated by fear or anger and although being assertive may not get you what you want, it does provide one with a sense of control.
In the remaining chapters Stoop warns readers to keep the power of self-talk in perspective. It is not a magic potion. One cannot just think about something and have it happen. An amputated limb will not be restored by self-talk, no matter how positive it is! He also explains, that despite what anyone thinks they want or need, some pain and suffering is part of everyone’s life, although mastering self-talk can help one deal with it. He also warns readers that learning the habit of thinking about one’s thoughts is hard work and takes time, but it helps.
My criticism of this work lies in the amount of religious writing it includes, not necessarily to preach, but to provide examples. It became more pervasive as the pages advanced and difficult to ignore. Nothing on the cover suggests this is a book so steeped in Christian thought and I would have liked to have known that before I picked it up.
Stoop begins by explaining the five basic principles of self-talk: how thoughts create emotions and affect behavior; how we often think irrationally and how gaining control of our thoughts can break a negative cycle, change thinking and how we behave.
He speaks to the power of words to move things in either a positive or negative direction. Those same words shape our self-talk, making it important to understand where they come from. He shows how anger, begun in your self-talk and expressed, may feel good, but ventilating never reduces anger or solves a problem. Anger can be changed by purposefully expressing what one feels or needs instead.
Stoop devotes an entire chapter to depression, describing it as a universal experience and part of everyone’s life. It arises for a number of reasons, among them distorted thinking, arbitrary evidence, selective abstraction, overgeneralization and absolutist dichotomist thinking. He explains each of these in detail, providing examples to illustrate his points more fully. He follows it by laying out several steps individuals can take to minimize depressive feelings.
He shows how guilt is rooted in the past and how what he calls “shoulds, standards and scruples” can create a cycle of guilt and depression which keep people in despair. He believes that cycle keeps people in the past and can be stooped by looking to the present and future. He speaks to the issue of worry and anxiety and the false belief that if we worry about something, it will stop it from happening. He follows that by laying out ways to break the negative habits that help anxiety flourish, shows readers how to gain control of stress and identifies self-talk as the one tool available to everyone to cope with the stress of everyday life.
In the chapter on aggression and assertiveness, he explains how they are different. Assertiveness is never motivated by fear or anger and although being assertive may not get you what you want, it does provide one with a sense of control.
In the remaining chapters Stoop warns readers to keep the power of self-talk in perspective. It is not a magic potion. One cannot just think about something and have it happen. An amputated limb will not be restored by self-talk, no matter how positive it is! He also explains, that despite what anyone thinks they want or need, some pain and suffering is part of everyone’s life, although mastering self-talk can help one deal with it. He also warns readers that learning the habit of thinking about one’s thoughts is hard work and takes time, but it helps.
My criticism of this work lies in the amount of religious writing it includes, not necessarily to preach, but to provide examples. It became more pervasive as the pages advanced and difficult to ignore. Nothing on the cover suggests this is a book so steeped in Christian thought and I would have liked to have known that before I picked it up.
June 12, 2025
I love this book. It’s easy to read book and it opens my mind up to learn things about myself by asking me questions that reflect on my past it’s encouraging. It’s motivating. It also have quotes from the Bible in which I am a Christian and I really enjoy that part because it talks about stories that I’m able to relate to since I am somewhat familiar with the Bible, I really suggest this book for anyone that’s looking to have a better understanding of themselves that want to know like how and why they are the way they are and it helps you have a understanding of why and how other people are as well.
May 23, 2021
As with many, I’m sure the value and insights I found in this book is because they spoke to a personal challenge/situation. It was a nicely put reminder of things that have said elsewhere, but are sometimes lost sight of in day to day life. I found the integration with bible stories an enjoyable way to have the story put into context, along with the examples from his practice.
May 22, 2022
Easy read that covered the main topic of our self talk having a huge impact on our happiness and success in life. The book meandered a bit and didn't come to a strong conclusion. For me as a life coach, the most valuable part was understanding the potential sources of distorted belief systems about ourselves that creates and maintains much of our negative self talk.
August 20, 2017
Great read!If you have a hard time expressing your feelings effectively, this is a great guide in learning to do so.
" Being assertive begins with the ability to confess your feelings, meaning you have to first, accept them."
" Being assertive begins with the ability to confess your feelings, meaning you have to first, accept them."
November 21, 2017
Self Talk
This is one that I will want to read again. I enjoyed the insight into how you can focus your thoughts to shift your perspective and gain control over your emotions. Would highly recommend!
This is one that I will want to read again. I enjoyed the insight into how you can focus your thoughts to shift your perspective and gain control over your emotions. Would highly recommend!
January 25, 2021
It could definitely be good for a lot of people, but for me it feels too much like they are saying you have to believe in the Christian God in order to be your best self. While I understand the idea behind it, that just isn't for me. So I decided not to continue reading.
July 17, 2017
A good reminder to think about what I'm thinking about and work on changing my Self-talk.
March 9, 2019
Thought the first half of the book got more to the point. Got repetitive and all little off track by the end. Could take some good points from the book, but not my favorite self help book.
May 31, 2021
DNF.
requires that you subscribe to the Christian God.
requires that you subscribe to the Christian God.
September 5, 2021
Abandoned at 50%.
You have to be a Christian or believe in some God to go through without the feeling that someone is telling you “God taught us that …”. Not my kind of a book.
You have to be a Christian or believe in some God to go through without the feeling that someone is telling you “God taught us that …”. Not my kind of a book.
December 12, 2021
Was looking for a science-based book of the topic, but this book was religion-based.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 15, 2022
I’m not huge on religion but I still enjoyed this book. It’s very practical and to the point.. Easy to skip over with bible sections without missing the major points.
March 22, 2023
Dnf. The author has a very religious perspective. He mentions legends as if they're facts. I'm sure there's some helpful advice in there, but not my cup of tea with the delivery.
April 15, 2023
Not that practical and way too much bible belt
June 11, 2024
DNF this book after finishing 1/4 of it. It just wasn’t what I was expecting.
June 15, 2024
This is a book with lots of great information and advice. You really do need to keep an open mind because there are lots of bible verses and quotes.
October 1, 2024
Drop mid book cuz David keep quoting bible(I’m in another religion)
February 15, 2017
What I got out of this book is that the author believes that is it okay to acknowledge why you are thinking what you feel, such as your anger, but to look at it and sometimes changing the way you think about the feeling or what is causing the feeling, can better help one to adjust. For instance, he writes that if someone is feeling depressed, try to do something – anything really – to help move yourself out of depression. He says that just being actively involved in something can help one with depression. He told one patient that she should actively be depressed and stay in bed all day, not get dressed, watch TV and eat in bed. She did this and then actually felt a little better because she was actively doing something, even though she was doing actions that usually she did when she was depressed. But now this gave her a purpose. He said that change takes time, such as when exercising, it is rare to see or feel results immediately. He said that if one is angry, it is important not to suppress the anger. However, he said talking about what makes one angry, just makes more angry. He said that there are ways to find out how to use this anger more productivity. He gives some guidance on different ways to think about things to help one change one’s attitude and deal with things that cause one’s anxiety and stress. He said that self-talk helps us to look at what we are thinking and why we may be thinking a certain way. Self-talk can help us to manage our outlook on why we feel a certain way. Like many other self-help books, I feel that this author is again telling us to look and really see what is bothering us, why, and our reaction to same can help us to resolve it. The author feels that we can make our emotions work for us, not against us and that will help us in dealing with matters more productivity. This self-help book provided for some interesting tips and self-awareness.
February 24, 2017
This is the one element that most Christians are missing in their daily lives.
He delves into the topic of positive Self-Talk or Faith-Talk if I were to define it.
It is a powerful force that can change the course of your life if used in the context of faith.
In a simplistic form, it can be misconstrued, but used in the right way it can be a powerful tool and blessing in your life.
I thought it was a book that I wish I had read when I was much younger so I could apply the concepts in each phase of life from graduating to getting married and through the child bearing and child rearing years.
I would highly recommend his book to readers of all ages.
He delves into the topic of positive Self-Talk or Faith-Talk if I were to define it.
It is a powerful force that can change the course of your life if used in the context of faith.
In a simplistic form, it can be misconstrued, but used in the right way it can be a powerful tool and blessing in your life.
I thought it was a book that I wish I had read when I was much younger so I could apply the concepts in each phase of life from graduating to getting married and through the child bearing and child rearing years.
I would highly recommend his book to readers of all ages.
October 16, 2007
This book is an inpiration to people like me who have suffered from this sickness for years and area stil stuggling with it. The book allows you to understand how your emotions and feeling work together in making you believe the things that you believe. There is a series of test for you to take so you can figure out how well you really know yourself and love the person you are. The book is a great asset to a collection and i definately think you should read it. I may help out in anyones life a great deal.
June 6, 2012
Good book - very focused on one specific topic - self-talk. Dr. Stoop goes into a lot of detail about how this is formed and how it affects us, as well as how to change it so that we can have a more positive and even healthy life.
I have enjoyed hearing him on the New Life Live radio show, so was excited when this showed up as a free Kindle download on Amazon. I would recommend it for anyone who struggles with this issue.
I have enjoyed hearing him on the New Life Live radio show, so was excited when this showed up as a free Kindle download on Amazon. I would recommend it for anyone who struggles with this issue.
March 30, 2013
This is my first inspirational book ever. Tackling different behaviors and reactions that everyone goes through so I personally think any individual can relate to this Self-Talk/Self-Help book. It specifically touched the topics about anger, guilt, depression, worry, anxiety, fears, stress, and assertiveness. I learned a lot from this book and I hope I can bring use in my life what I learned from it. :)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews