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Death by Suburb: How to Keep the Suburbs from Killing Your Soul
A great number of seekers find themselves in the seemingly unreal world of the suburbs. They read spirituality books but find themselves in carpools and coaching soccer, not in monasteries. Dave Goetz, a former pastor, shows that the suburbs are a real world, but a spiritually corrosive one. The land of SUVs and soccer leagues can truly be toxic to the soul. Suburbanites need to understand how the environment affects them and what spiritual disciplines are needed for their faith to survive and thrive. Goetz identifies eight toxins in the suburban life, such as hyper–competition and the "transactional" friendship, and suggests eight corresponding disciplines to keep the spiritual life authentic. Goetz weaves sociology studies, his own experiences, current events, wisdom of the spiritual masters, and a little humor to equip spiritual suburbanites for how to relate to God amidst Starbucks, strip–malls, and perfect lawns.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published February 1, 2006
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310 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
January 12, 2026
Living in the suburban town that the author writes about may make his pointed sarcasm more humorous to me than to others, but I was laughing out loud in several spots. I am giving this book 4 stars not because I agree with the author completely, but because he brings up questions and ideas that are great for personal reflection or for a potential book club discussion. I do think he misses the mark with his solutions. Repentance from sin is not mentioned as a solution to any of the problems he suggests for the suburban Christian. His solutions were quite flat, missing the call to higher living as citizen of the kingdom of Heaven. Read with discernment and an eye for good discussion questions.
April 5, 2009
This is not the book I thought it’d be. Death by Suburb is rather a rambling memoire of a protestant post seminarian sucked in by the wealthy suburban secular lifestyle. The author, David Goetz, is certainly well read and well written (Christianity Today). He quotes from many authentically Catholic/Christian theologians as well as Jewish ones and others.
Interestingly, we’ve read some of the same mountain climbing books (and Outside Magazine!) both sensing the spiritual aspect of climbing that is inherent to the sport. He is seeking something permanent and lasting yet does not quite know how to find it in his church or in his suburban life. He encourages other suburbanites to seek and survive with him. I don’t know how much is humor and how much is real in what he has written here but I’ll include him in a Holy Rosary today.
The best quote of the book may be this one: “There’s no entrance into the thicker reality of Christ’s presence without the cross. No one has to go looking for one; the cross finds you. “ David L. Goetz
Amazingly, the author has a huge blog/website devoted to the book, suburban living and his search for God: http://www.deathbysuburb.com/
Now this is more what I envisioned:
Subdivided: a documentary film about life in contemporary suburbia: a personal study of isolation and the struggle to find and maintain community in an era of careless development, the uninspired design of the modern subdivision, urban sprawl, and the invasion of the McMansion.
American life is more divisive than ever, and poorly designed neighborhoods further encourage isolation and separation. With no sense of place or belonging, is this the new American Dream?
The film is directed by Dean Terry and features interviews with Andres Duany, James Howard Kunstler and Robert Putnam.
Subdivided Trailer: http://www.subdivided.net/media/subdi...
Subdivided Documentary Website: http://www.subdivided.net/?tx=76D1943...
http://www.deanterry.com/
Dean Terry is a Professor at UTD
I first viewed Subdivided on PBS (that I happened at all to see it was one of those little miraculous gifts from God). Filmed in the Dallas area, Subdivided is a fantastic, change provoking, exploration of “community,” the designed subdivisions of our neighborhoods, and what this means for our lives. In a roundabout way, the documentary Subdivided and the book Death by Suburb are cause and effect. I’ve ordered the Subdivided DVD.
Interestingly, we’ve read some of the same mountain climbing books (and Outside Magazine!) both sensing the spiritual aspect of climbing that is inherent to the sport. He is seeking something permanent and lasting yet does not quite know how to find it in his church or in his suburban life. He encourages other suburbanites to seek and survive with him. I don’t know how much is humor and how much is real in what he has written here but I’ll include him in a Holy Rosary today.
The best quote of the book may be this one: “There’s no entrance into the thicker reality of Christ’s presence without the cross. No one has to go looking for one; the cross finds you. “ David L. Goetz
Amazingly, the author has a huge blog/website devoted to the book, suburban living and his search for God: http://www.deathbysuburb.com/
Now this is more what I envisioned:
Subdivided: a documentary film about life in contemporary suburbia: a personal study of isolation and the struggle to find and maintain community in an era of careless development, the uninspired design of the modern subdivision, urban sprawl, and the invasion of the McMansion.
American life is more divisive than ever, and poorly designed neighborhoods further encourage isolation and separation. With no sense of place or belonging, is this the new American Dream?
The film is directed by Dean Terry and features interviews with Andres Duany, James Howard Kunstler and Robert Putnam.
Subdivided Trailer: http://www.subdivided.net/media/subdi...
Subdivided Documentary Website: http://www.subdivided.net/?tx=76D1943...
http://www.deanterry.com/
Dean Terry is a Professor at UTD
I first viewed Subdivided on PBS (that I happened at all to see it was one of those little miraculous gifts from God). Filmed in the Dallas area, Subdivided is a fantastic, change provoking, exploration of “community,” the designed subdivisions of our neighborhoods, and what this means for our lives. In a roundabout way, the documentary Subdivided and the book Death by Suburb are cause and effect. I’ve ordered the Subdivided DVD.
July 14, 2009
Reading this is like having a friend who tells you, over a period of years, about his struggle with the same issue over and over again. Never seems to get anywhere. Uses your friendly ear as a way to try to figure himself out. Not too helpful.
June 17, 2012
I enjoyed this book by a Christian author who lives nearby in Wheaton, IL. With humor, he talks about how the "ideal suburban life" is a myth and suggests spiritual practices for avoiding jealousy, shallow friendships, materialism, busyness, etc.
April 26, 2021
Identifies common sentiments and fairly surface-level sins, but the solution misses the mark with no call for repentance nor recognition of how Jesus has lived perfectly for our sake in these areas.
March 29, 2018
Goetz has some piercingly accurate, too-close-to-home observations about suburban life and idols. The solutions he offers are sometimes good, but ultimately what he wrestles with is that he's trying to 'provide' the very solutions as far as step by step responses which got Suburbanites into the deluded, trapped, narrow idolatry they're in to begin with. The solution is simple, though not easy-- it involves coming more and more alive to Christ, and that your own context is as meaningful as anywhere else, and in many ways harder than many other places to fight for that meaning. Perspective can only come from immersing yourself in God and others, and then that flows back to your own life.
January 29, 2018
Although a bit slow to get into, hang in there because by the end this book has you thinking without being judgmental. Why do we live in the suburbs and then have our lives so busy we're never home to enjoy the home and community we live in? Quote from towards the end of the book: "The suburbs require, I think, a kind of fierceness to stay fully awake to God and the work of God in the world." (page 202).
May 19, 2022
Probably closer to a 2.5. There were perhaps three key ideas here: spiritual humility, exchanging “immortality symbols” for the mortality symbol of suffering, embracing the pain of spiritual community as formative.
June 24, 2019
A helpful reminder to stay on course and keep your eyes on the eternal gifts, but not particularly new or profound ideas.
August 20, 2020
Not the book I thought it would be.
January 6, 2016
Goetz does not try to convince that spiritual life is difficult in suburbia, he just assumes it, relaying short anecdotes and solid medicine, writing sharp and funny prose. Instead of the pursuit of immortality symbols, from SUVs to the accomplishment of children, he offers the thicker life full of spiritual practices to combat the primary spiritual ills of the suburbs. The issue of control is met with silence, identity with self-realization, covetousness, with friendship with have-nots, self-pity and suffering with the cross, needing to make a difference with the pursuit of action and not efficiency (his description of the Christian shirker hits too close to home here), church hopping with stability, and relational transactions with spiritual friendship. It is biting in the best of ways and engages his setting (lovely Wheaton, IL), which I know well. As a Protestant he draws from other Christian traditions to remind Protestants how to be serious about the devout life amid the thinness, the busyness, and the self-importance of suburbia. And he does it without denigrating suburbia, at least not unnecessarily.
May 7, 2012
An interesting book... I feel as if Goetz was attempting to be so philosophical in his presentation of the Christian life that he complicated the simplest of things Jesus asks of us in the Bible. Love God and love people. There is no "love your suburban life" in that.
I think he had some very good points, but nothing in this work suggested a radical approach to changing your situation if you really are lacking in the "thicker life". Christ advocated drastic measures- He told the rich young ruler to sell ALL he possessed and follow Him.
In this book, Goetz seems to be searching for a way to make himself feel ok about his suburban lifestyle without making the changes that would affect it. If your SUV is an "immortality symbol" then sell it. If you are so focused on sports in the "park district" and it's ruining your family, then pull your kids out.
I guess I just felt as I'd Goetz wanted to find a way of thinking that let him have his cake and eat it too when that doesn't seem in line with what Jesus teaches.
I think he had some very good points, but nothing in this work suggested a radical approach to changing your situation if you really are lacking in the "thicker life". Christ advocated drastic measures- He told the rich young ruler to sell ALL he possessed and follow Him.
In this book, Goetz seems to be searching for a way to make himself feel ok about his suburban lifestyle without making the changes that would affect it. If your SUV is an "immortality symbol" then sell it. If you are so focused on sports in the "park district" and it's ruining your family, then pull your kids out.
I guess I just felt as I'd Goetz wanted to find a way of thinking that let him have his cake and eat it too when that doesn't seem in line with what Jesus teaches.
September 19, 2011
Overall, Goetz has some terrific insights and many quotable lines. The beginning of the book has a condescending tone, but the author is the first to admit that he falls into the category of the group he mocks most: the average American family participating in the average family life. This includes the house in the burbs, an SUV, and 2.5 kids that you as the parent are constantly shuffling from one activity to the next. I appreciate that Goetz goes beyond simple bashing to offering solutions and spiritual practices to help all of us look past the 'stuff' in our lives and focus instead on the 'meat.' The goal and focus of this is to live a deeper, 'thicker,' more meaningful live with Christ in the world. If you make it past the first chapter or so, you will find plenty of fresh, inspired ideas on a not-so-new topic.
March 24, 2013
This little book is great therapy for those who find themselves living a middle-class life in the suburbs with kids and deeply connected to the church but wondering in the quiet moments (if you can find them!) what happened to the heroic Christian life they imagined in their younger days.
What Goetz does is not pile on the false guilt for being part of this sub-culture but rather he tries to take you through it to find God, peace, and fellowship with the broken. He calls out some of the illusions of this programmed life, making quips about the status anxieties, the nonsensical competition, and the descent into a "bloated soul" which is also an "inverse cripple." Yet he also critiques the impulse to want to escape, which comes with its own liabilities.
Good bedtime reading.
What Goetz does is not pile on the false guilt for being part of this sub-culture but rather he tries to take you through it to find God, peace, and fellowship with the broken. He calls out some of the illusions of this programmed life, making quips about the status anxieties, the nonsensical competition, and the descent into a "bloated soul" which is also an "inverse cripple." Yet he also critiques the impulse to want to escape, which comes with its own liabilities.
Good bedtime reading.
January 31, 2008
This guy lives in my town and most of the folks I know find this a bit insulting.
The author would say "Exactly!" I just can't agree with the preachy tone where he points out that all the volunteer work we are doing and donations we make are hollow. We know we aren't saving the world by working with the homeless once a month, but we are trying OK?
On top of just the ick factor, I don't find it very well written. I kind of feel like to wrote the book and then combed the bible for some verses that matched the chapters so he could market it to the christian population...insulting.
The author would say "Exactly!" I just can't agree with the preachy tone where he points out that all the volunteer work we are doing and donations we make are hollow. We know we aren't saving the world by working with the homeless once a month, but we are trying OK?
On top of just the ick factor, I don't find it very well written. I kind of feel like to wrote the book and then combed the bible for some verses that matched the chapters so he could market it to the christian population...insulting.
February 3, 2015
I chose to read this book as a self-serving affirmation of my own beliefs and life choices, and it did not disappoint on that front.
Where the book fell short was in its own aspirations. The stated purpose of the book was to propose spiritual disciplines that can combat some of the aspects of suburban life that keep us from a robust spirituality.
However, I felt that each chapter was much more adept at critiquing its subject than in describing how one can truly practice the prescribed spiritual disciplines.
I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't say it would be life-changing for most readers.
Where the book fell short was in its own aspirations. The stated purpose of the book was to propose spiritual disciplines that can combat some of the aspects of suburban life that keep us from a robust spirituality.
However, I felt that each chapter was much more adept at critiquing its subject than in describing how one can truly practice the prescribed spiritual disciplines.
I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't say it would be life-changing for most readers.
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March 4, 2012Well written exposition on the value of a few classic spiritual disciplines to those living a middle to upper-middle suburban family lifestyle. Nothing new, but well illustrated in a personal narrative style. He quotes multiple authors of somewhat obscure Christian works throughout the text, and builds up a nice bibliography that he's included in the end. The audience for this book is rather narrow, but a lot of the human themes should apply to those who don't find themselves in his economic bracket. Reminded me somewhat of Divine Nobodies by Jim Palmer.
October 10, 2013
This book is oft quoted in my church, so I thought I should read it. The author's rambling style annoyed me and it seemed he as out of focus like the subdivision that I live in. He makes some great comments about the immortality idols that we create for ourselves - the child in sports, the big SUV and the over mortgaged homes we live in. He points to community as a way to get out of this but doesn't quite live there. He exists in his shit just like I do. He kinda approaches Jesus as the solution but delves not much deeper, but I also wasn't convinced that he believed his solution, as real.
December 2, 2009
Goetz makes a lot of good points, but you have to read beyond the surface to get much out of this book. Much of what he criticizes about the suburban life is not bad in and of itself, so you have to think about the context a lot and dig into underlying motives. I read this as part of a Sunday School reading group, which is where a book like this really shines, because it opens up some great conversations. On its own, it's just sort of okay. There's really nothing revolutionary here.
November 25, 2012
Picked this up at the library thinking it was a humorous spoof on suburban living, only to find it was actually a book spelling out some ways to redirect common misguided life principles into Christian living principles. My husband and I both read the book and greatly appreciated the insights and encouragement to live our lives more fully and intentionally for the Kingdom and not for our worldly gains and egos!
December 29, 2012
David Goetz is someone I want to meet. I appreciate his perspective on Americanized Christian suburbia. I enjoyed this book, it's written very well. The subject is not really close to my heart becauase I've never enjoyed a comfort zone in "comfortized and christianized" culture (although I always wanted to), but I see how can be a beautiful choking noose for many. David Goetz sees this and speaks honestly to it. Attaboy Dave!
April 19, 2013
I read this book as part of a small group study at my church. I found it to be a very good insight into many of the trappings that are found in the typical American suburb that can easily distract those who consider themselves Christians. I feel that reading one chapter at a time and then discussing it with others made the book more personal. Overall a good read that will challenge you to be honest about your priorities.
February 13, 2011
Death by Suburb is hilarious and yet very serious. The subtitle says a lot: How to keep the suburbs from killing your soul. The suburbs can be very shallow and often void of any authentic spirituality. This book humorously offers anecdotes challenging you to not give in to keeping up with the Joneses.
May 6, 2009
Absolutely loved this book so much that I bought ten of them and gave to friends and family! It is so on point in terms of what our society is focused on in this era of overindulgence and excess. This was a great reminder of why the 10th commandment exists and how so many parents are trying to re-live their lives/dreams through their children. A must read and a great group discussion book!
August 14, 2012
This book is good at addressing a lot of generalities, but the author doesn't give much in the way of specific advice. I feel blessed to live where I live, and to have the career, family, and friends I have. I feel that it was written as more of a confessional, and I can't relate as much to what the author is feeling. I did enjoy the book.
August 10, 2012
This book is a good companion to Timothy Keller's Counterfeit Gods. The seventh chapter, titled "Lashed Down," may have been my favorite, as Goetz's bemoans church-hopping. Goetz's style is engaging and his voice humble, even if he does throw in some $100 words here and there for no apparent reason. This book made me think.
April 14, 2013
I picked this book up because sometimes life as a stay at home is so deadening I could scream. I enjoyed the book immensely and agreed with a lot. I just found it so light I don't actually remember many of the suggestions he made to get out the rut of living a suburban existence. Hence, the 3 stars...
September 17, 2019
This book definitely hits on much of what is troublesome about suburban living, and offers ways to orient oneself to overcome the distractions of suburbia and live a "thicker" life. It's interesting though, if you were to replace all references to Christ with terms from Zen Buddhism, this would still work. It's almost an application of Buddhist philosophy to Christianity.
March 24, 2016
Hoping to find a way through the plasticity of my surroundings, I choose to read Goetz's book. While the book speaks to how some specific spiritual exercises will lend one to a thicker life, it didn't address the battle that wages on in me regarding the financial waste that continues to divide our communities and churches.
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August 10, 2013I have been reading bits and pieces of this. It is not what you think it is...he does not totally rip suburbia. But he seems to be pretty insightful. Some of his material could be regardless wherever (i.e. keeping up with the joneses type thing), but maybe is particularly felt in his context.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews