The Slackers Guide to U.S. History: The Bare Minimum on Discovering America, the Boston Tea Party, the California Gold Rush, and Lots of Other Stuff Dead White Guys Did

by Don Stewart, John Pfeiffer

What does Miley Cyrus have in common with Sacagawea? How could Steve Jobs have helped Eisenhower? What does the moon landing have to do with the Hilton sisters?In less time than it takes to recite the preamble to the Constitution, most Americans can spout off all their U.S. history knowledge. ( it starts with “In 1492” and ends with “sailed the ocean blue.”) That’s because most history books are as interesting as the phone book—and have the same number of pages. The average Joe (the guy who TiVo’d John Adams on HBO but won’t make Colonial Williamsburg his next vacation spot) needs a witty and edgy history book—and he has it, with with this guide. Hysterical authors—and self-described slackers—Don Stewart and John Pfeifer give readers the bare minimum on important events such Civil War (the war that pitted brother vs. brother—about the bruthas)The expedition of Lewis and Clark (the ultimate road trip)The Boston Tea Party (not much of a party unless that tea was from Long Island)The assassination of JFK (one vacation that ended particularly badly) Combining current pop culture references and accessible historical information, this satirical book catches readers up on what they slept through in History 101.

Genres: History, Humor, Nonfiction, Education, Reference

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Marvin · Rating 1 out of 5]

My name is Marvin and I'm a Kindle-holic

Hi Marvin!

I'm a little embarrassed to be here. Julie at the bookstore warned me about the evils of the Kindle but I didn't listen. What could be wrong about reading more books? And the darn thing can hold over 1500 books! That sounded like heaven to me. But little did I know how Amazon would suck me into more and more books that I didn't need to read. Instead of having to wait for Julie's Book Store to open at 10AM for my fix, all I had to do was push that Kindle button any time of the day or night and less than a minute later, there was my book!

But that wasn't the worse. I discovered how many books could be bought for a dollar or less. Books with irresistible titles like Hello Kitty Must Die, The Sex Beast of Scurvy Island, and Bible Camp Bloodbath. By the time I was reading Ass Goblins of Auschwitz I should have realized the trouble I was in but I was already in denial.

And then I discovered free books on the Kindle and I was swept up in a orgy of bodice rippers, mediocre Christian fiction, and kindle smut. There's even a group on Goodreads called Kindle Smut. Blast those perverted Goodreads people!

I finally hit bottom when I downloaded The Slacker's Guide to U.S. History. I should have known it was a scam. Slackers don't read! What I received was a very unfunny book that thinks U.S. History is a one punch line joke. With scores of inaccuracies, the authors ridicule everything in the United States with unfunny jokes and stupid celebrity digs. They seemed particularly obsessed with tasteless Michael Jackson lines and anyone they could make fun of sexually. Titling the chapter on Martin Luther King as "A Black Man's Wet Dream" is offensive in too many ways to count and endless sex jokes about Richard Nixon such as "The tapes show a crooked dick" aren't even imaginative. Over 200 pages of this was more than I could handle. I looked up the nearest Kindle Anonymous meeting and here I am. I'm not ready to give up my Kindle but perhaps I should keep my freebies to the classics like Pride and Prejudice. That's what I will do, but not before I download that new free Zombie paranormal romance novel.

[Kristin · Rating 1 out of 5]

The worst book I've read all year. The introduction was entertaining but all the "factual" parts were terrible. Mixing pop culture and history, in this case, just did not work. Jokes were overused (everyone, let's lay off CSPAN for awhile, we know no one watches it) and most of the time were neither funny nor relevant. I think I know less about US history now.

[Wendy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I bought this book because I thought it might be a good resource for my freshman history students. WRONG!!! I have four main problems with this book: 1. Errors (Did you know Timothy McVeigh was executed on the exact same day that he bombed the OKC federal building? It's in this book so it must be true!) 2. Representation of jokes as fact, i.e. the assertion on page 184 that the legend of Washington and the cherry tree was all about having sex with a virgin, 3. The reckless left-wing slant on every single page, and 4. The positively filthy, juvenile obsession with sex that the authors display, again, on nearly every page. John Pfeiffer, you should apologize to me along with all of your other fellow Georgia State University alumni for besmirching our fine alma mater with this piece of trash. I'm glad I got it on clearance, but I wish I had my four bucks back.

[Tina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would have given a minus star rating if it were possible! I bought this thinking it would be an entertaining way to remember history; instead it seems to want to credit every historical event to a historical figure getting laid, or uses allegories from porn movies to explain things like the French and Indian war. Also the first "histroy" book that I've read to use the F-word with regularity.
I guess I'm too much of a prude to finish a book like this, but anyone else should give it a miss for its historical innacuracies at least!

[Sheri Wagner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read half and I’m “on a break”. I really enjoyed the beginning and I was learning a lot about history. Then I don’t know if it got more heavily sarcastic or if I just got sick of the heavy sarcasm, but I started having a hard time separating truth from witty sarcasm and that’s when I lost interest. I love the idea of it but I think most readers could handle more facts and less over-the-top hilarity. After all, we did choose the book because we wanted to learn something.

[Renee G · Rating 2 out of 5]

The intro made me look forward to it, but honestly it was terrible. Mixed up mess, hard to read, and not entertaining or factual.

[Eric Stutzman · Rating 1 out of 5]

When it comes to writing reviews, my primary goals are to inform the reader of my enjoyment or lack thereof of the book in question, and state my opinions with an open mind or at least something close to it. However, this is a new low. I have no clue how I got through this thing. This book is absolutely awful. PRO TIP: If you’re planning on writing a history-centered book and you have more sex jokes than actual history, you have a problem. (I would bet money that you could go on pornhub and see less about sex!) I honestly feel bad for anyone that spent their money thinking this was a fun, quirky history novel. They could pay me and I’d still feel cheated.

If you are a teacher or a student, please for the love of God, do not read this. It is shockingly uninformative and even has some false information (Timothy McVeigh did not die on April 19, 1995). If I could give this a 0/5 I would.

WOULD NOT RECOMMEND

[Kristin]

Anyone who read the title and expected anything other than snark and satire should be a little ashamed. This book was hilarious in its interpretation of US history and at the very least gave a great outline to use if a person wanted to find a topic to dig into deeper.

[Chantel · Rating 5 out of 5]

...but I'm biased.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book!!! It was humorous and historically accurate. Me being a history nerd there were only one or two things that I didn't really agree fully with, but it was a very good read!

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

If the authors didn't try to make this funny, it would have been much more tolerable and interesting because, not funny. At all.

[The Bookish Wombat · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terrible! Very glad I got it for free as paying anything for it would have been too much. Tries to be funny, but all jokes are racist, sexist or otherwise offensive. Avoid

[Bob Cantrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just like books that poke fun at American icons. I mean if you can't laugh at the antics of your country, who can. We need to look at ourselves and laugh and with this book you can.