Different for Boys

by Patrick Ness

Friendship, masculinity, sex—Anthony Stevenson has a lot of questions. Is it different for boys who like boys? A poignant and frank story filled with meta-humor by renowned author Patrick Ness.

Anthony “Ant” Stevenson isn’t sure when he stopped being a virgin. Or even if he has. The rules aren’t always very clear when it comes to boys who like boys. In fact, relationships of all kinds feel complicated, even with Ant’s oldest friends. There’s Charlie, who’s both virulently homophobic and in a secret physical relationship with Ant. Then there’s drama kid Jack, who may be gay and has become the target of Charlie’s rage. And, of course, there’s big, beautiful Freddie, who wants Ant to ditch soccer, Charlie’s sport, and try out for the rugby team instead. Ant’s story of loneliness and intimacy, of unexpected support and heart-ripping betrayal, is told forthrightly with tongue-in-cheek black-bar redactions over the language that teenagers would actually use if, you know, they weren’t in a story. Award-winning author Patrick Ness explores teen sexuality, friendship, and romance with a deft hand in this structurally daring, illustrated short novel.

Genres: Young Adult, LGBT, Queer, Contemporary, Fiction, Graphic Novels, Romance

104 pages, Hardcover

First published March 14, 2023

About the author

Patrick Ness, an award-winning novelist, has written for Radio 4 and The Sunday Telegraph and is a literary critic for The Guardian. He has written many books, including the Chaos Walking Trilogy, The Crash of Hennington, Topics About Which I Know Nothing, and A Monster Calls.

He has won numerous awards, including the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize, the Booktrust Teenage Prize, and the Costa Children’s Book Award. Born in Virginia, he currently lives in London.

Reviews

[Emily May · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted and expected more from this.

Ness is an author whose books sometimes work for me and sometimes don't, but they are usually different and interesting. He tries new styles and concepts, doesn't cater to trends, and I like that. But I didn't really understand the point of this book and I think what Ness may have intended to be an empowering message about virginity only serves to reinforce this ridiculous (see also: subjective, misogynistic and fictitious) institution.

It's a quick read at slightly over 100 pages, some of which contain illustrations. Unfortunately, this probably contributed to why I found it lacking. None of the characters are developed, seeming to be characterized by stereotypes-- overtly camp Jack and toxically masculine and homophobic Charlie --when I felt like they each had more to offer the narrative. The illustrations seemed pointless and unnecessary.

The blurb says this book "explores teen sexuality" which is odd because I think it barely grazes the surface. Other books have more effectively explored being a closeted gay teen, in my opinion. Deposing Nathan is a great one. Even Ness's own Release does a better job.

I'm also going to take this opportunity to once again push a song I love about being a closeted gay teen-- Either --it gives me chills and it's not nearly appreciated enough.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

You only need one sitting to complete this book. Guys reading this who are themselves immersed in the masculinity-show of high school will understand: (For boys) At school, it was a secret, and you were on your own.

I greatly liked the artistic side of this book: the blacked out words that were fairly easy to guess what was left out; the graphic b/w sketches every couple of pages.

I appreciate books like this that can tie a knot in my stomach. I LIKED the (relatable) discomfort I felt reading this.

Truth - guys that grow up knowing each other (as close as brothers) can make it impossible to come out.

I'd like to give all four of these boy-characters the book: Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity by Peggy Orenstein
She explains how boys BRAG about their 'conquests', but the true number of real partners is SO much smaller than guys would dare admit (on average).

Boys & Sex, as well as Different For Boys discusses the fluid criteria for being a virgin. What do you count? It doesn't have to be the Bill Clinton 'sexual relations with that woman'. It can be so much less than that. I just read The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel that described emotional depth reached on-line (virtual) that qualified as enough infidelity to break up a marriage. So, what exactly is the point where we lose our virginity?

I got to know these characters so quickly. You probably know someone from high school that maps exactly to Ant, Charlie, Josh and Jack. This makes me retro-think twice about these faces from my own past.

Even if you can't quite fill in the blacked-out words, it is so easy to completely understand the full intention. Meanwhile, there is nothing 'controversial' in this book to get it banned. Haha - since this book without the blacked-out-words/phrases would have been banned on page 1.

I was at the 4.5-star feeling, but went straight to 5 when I read: And boom, I think. That's it.

2nd reading - short book, so easy to do another reading - focused on grabbing some quotes. This is a very simple book, but it appeals to the realism I like to see. This author definitely 'understands' the teen high school boy mind.

3rd reading - that first REAL kiss that feels so incredibly RIGHT. I just had to read this again. This book has that personal connection/understanding to me.

4th reading - that kiss did it again! I can't convey in words how strongly this book connects to me. It just does. 5* again

[Henk · Rating 3 out of 5]

An ideal IDAHOBIT day read in theme, but falling a bit short in execution to the finesse I’ve come to expect from Patrick Ness
But he’s not a bad guy. He isn’t. If the world were better, Charlie would be better.

Living on an all boys school is not easy, especially if your best friend starts to act homophobic but you know what you did in the bedroom with him. This is the predicament Ant, the main character of Different for Boys, finds himself in. A major escalation follows. The use of black bars in the text is interesting and at times the fourth wall is broken, especially in a section where the main character starts saying what this story is not. The struggle with sexuality and the difference between professed acceptance and real social stigma is well executed.

Still I expected some more texturing to Ant and Charlie and Jack (the gay guy and now estranged friend to Charlie and Ant) and Freddie (the new enticing if straight rugby lad who acts as a fuse to the conflict). Loneliness and fear of rejection play major roles in their interactions, which hence feel shallow. We have some Troye Sivan to make the book feel in the now, as are there mentions of dating apps and online porn. But seemingly medieval statements as We can’t kiss. Because that would make us gay. and musings of Ant about his virginity (which I don’t think would be a big thing necessarily in the current day and age), cumulating in Or am I just a virgin with a lot of practice?.
I finally didn’t find the illustrations very synergistic to the story. Overall not that impressed but a quick read on an important topic.

[Les McFarlane · Rating 4 out of 5]

First few pages I thought I was going to give up on this one. The black boxes over the words considered inappropriate for a young adult novel/novella… well I’m an old, white, heterosexual woman, who’s lived a rather sheltered life - so, quite honestly, I couldn’t fill some of them in! 🤷🏼‍♀️ All that being said, I ended up loving this. Once I stopped beating myself up for not knowing what was going on under some of the censorship boxes and focused on the relationships- then I could appreciate the story. Even though it’s forty five years since I was in high school it seems hasn’t changed that much. If we could plant kindness, a commitment to understanding, a passion for caring for the earth as deeply as we plant homophobia, hate & an intolerance for anything different than we consider the ‘norm’ - we would live in a very different world.
Keep up the great work, Mr Ness.

[charlotte, · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rep: gay mc

CWs: homophobia

Galley provided by publisher

I have, on the whole, been reading less and less YA these past couple of years, but Patrick Ness is an author I’ll always come back to, and for good reason. Different for Boys was only a short book, but it was an impactful one, with a realistic teen voice. I think that’s what I find best about Patrick Ness, that when he writes teens they sound like teens. They sound like kids you might hear in a classroom. (And swear like them too. I found the blackened out swear words very funny, as well as the character’s recognition of them.) This, Patrick Ness’s ability to write characters who leap off the page within a few lines of meeting them, is what makes his books so good and how this one in particular, only around 100 pages long, has such an emotional impact. I knew Patrick Ness wouldn’t let me down here, and I was proven right.

[James O'Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

Patrick Ness is easily my favorite author. He doesn't shy away from risky, weird decisions in his work, and this story is full of Patrick Ness's uniqueness.

The wacky part of this story is the redacted words in the prose. Every swear/inappropriate word is left blacked out from the reader. This is a little strange—mainly because the narrator is aware they're being blacked out—but I still appreciated the way Ness played with this in the narrative.

I will read anything Ness publishes, and I really enjoyed this short tale of a young queer teen, coming to terms with his sexuality.

[❋ Booked Out Today ❋ · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️3⭐️

Different for Boys

Plot:
Anthony “Ant” Stevenson struggles to understand his identity and relationships in a messy, emotional journey of teen sexuality and friendship.

My Thoughts:
This should have been a more developed and longer book. It was just short and when I finally got into it, it ended.
It was funny and humorous at times and Ant character developed in a short time.

I great read if you want something to finish in one sitting that’s quirky and unique.

[Liam Ostermann · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't like this novel but before proceeding to my reasons let me say:

1. I am not a YA - the last time I spoke with a 15 year was when one offered me their seat on a bus.

2. I greatly admire Patrick Ness as an author and have enjoyed many of his other, nominally, YA novels.

3. I accept that this short novel was written and conceived with the best of intentions - possibly to good intentions.

I have a number of gripes with this book - the UK setting, the illustrations, the 'blacked out' words and phrases. If we take them one at a time:

The UK setting - Ness is now a UK citizen and lives in the UK and I can't fault the novel for its presentation of the boys, their school or the way the speak, except when they say that they can't mention what they did because it could be seen as providing a 'Road Map' for others to imitate (more about this later).

The illustrations - they are lovely, but they really don't reflect the boys as described in the text - Ness's boys are, mostly described as 'big'. The boys illustrated are all skinny guys. Minor point but the novel is only a hundred pages and the illustrations are central to it so should reflect the text accurately.

The 'blacked out' words and phrases which are at the core of the book presentation because it is based on talking about 'gay' sex and sex in general by using school boy terms, but at the same time not using them. I can't help feeling that these 'black outs' are there for the USA market and not because of the requirements of the UK one. Education, although partially funded locally, is wholly under the control of the national government in the UK. There is simply no role for the parents/concerned citizens groups to interfere, or dictate, what material are used in schools. The UK, like many European countries, also has a different attitude to swearing then many communities and individuals in the USA. We don't take it as seriously, it doesn't offend us, and we also have a wildly diverse and idiomatic collection of words for sexual acts and body parts. I do not believe that simply using certain words, or mentioning certain acts would prevent a book like this being used in UK school or stocked in school or public library YA collections. What would matter is the purpose or intention of the author. The banning of certain words has been under challenge in the UK since T.E. Lawrence had to privately print his novel 'The Mint' back in the 1920's and was more or less abandoned after 'The Lady Chatterley' trial in 1960. The last time the UK government got involved in trying to censor/control the type of information on sex used in school was back in the 1980's when Margaret Thatcher's government introduced Clause 28 which banned the promotion of homosexuality. Despite its deleterious effects the legislation quickly fell into abeyance and throughout the early 21st century politicians were constantly coming forward to apologise for supporting in their youth. The whole clause 28 issue was seen not simply wrong, but ridiculous and politicians don't like looking wrong or ridiculous. Moral crusades just don't have the votes, and there is no religious block. Even those like the Catholic Church who might, at one stage, have got up in arms about a book that doesn't condemn homosexual behavior amongst youngsters are unlikely to do so as most people regard Catholic priests as tantamount to child molesters. The Catholic Church has no interest in reminding anyone of their dubious history were boys and sex are concerned.

I salute the author for attempting to write a book about being masculinity/being gay/being honest/etc. that is aimed, not simply at YA, but specifically at boys in the 14/15 age group. Boys in their teenage years are incredibly hard to reach, there have never been 'boys' magazines in the way their have been 'girls' magazines and historically boys always avoid/ignore things that attempt to specifically reach them as a group. I am sure Mr. Ness wants this book to be used as a education tool but in the UK, and elsewhere outside the USA, I can't help that the 'censored' format will be more of a hindrance than a help. It may be right for the USA - I am far removed from the idiocies of its book banning 'concerned' parents - but I can't help feeling that they will still find as much to be offended by in Ness's censored book. One should never believe that these people are stupid, they know what they hate, which is tolerance, and Ness's book is all about tolerance and understanding. I am sure it will be just as hated as if all the words were on display.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's short. In some ways it's WAY, WAY too short...104 pages, but Patrick Ness has delivered his message beautifully and said almost all that can be said. Some of you know that I volunteer time to the LGBTQ kids in my city and work almost exclusively with the 13–18-year-olds. Once a teacher always a teacher:) In addition, our library buys and furnishes the shelter with books...they aren't all LGBTQ subjects, but some are, and they help our kids relate to the things that they are feeling and are confronted with everyday...most are written by authors that went through some of the same emotions as these young people at their age. This one recently hit our shelves and has been passed around and has already been well read. The jest of the story is that four friends are grappling with their identities. They have an ally in Mr. Bacon, their cool AP history teacher, when he reconfigures the classroom setup, seating Ant and Charlie together with genial football player Josh Smith and the boys’ former friend, Jack Taylor, now a drama kid. The foursome have now been forced to deal with the fact that Jack is obviously gay...knows, and now could be a threat to Ant and Charlie’s "elephant in the room, secret". The boys all know that being gay is still as taboo as it’s ever been among the traditionally masculine boys and others in their school and state. The story has wonderfully done pencil sketches that help illustrate this really beautiful little story.

[K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Punch to the gut on this mornings commute

[Rebekah · Rating 3 out of 5]

1 Sentence Summary: The rules for relationships aren’t always clear when it comes to boys who like boys, and Anthony Stevenson has a lot of questions about his own complicated relationships.

My Thoughts: This was very interesting. It’s an experimental short story where the characters are aware that they’re in a story and any swearing or explicit language is censored by black bars on the page—although, you can pretty much still guess what’s behind the censor bars.

So, I liked the explorations of toxic masculinity and teenage sexuality; however, it was just so short. I mean, I get that it’s meant to be a short story, but it was almost too short. I didn’t have time to connect with any of the characters, and nothing felt very developed. Also, the art didn’t really seem to add anything to the story.

Overall, it wasn’t bad, it was just interesting. And kind of sad. It made me sad reading it, because of what was happening to the characters. And what was the point? Nothing really got resolved. I think I might have liked this more if it was a bit longer and had more depth. I still love Patrick Ness though, so even if you didn’t like this one, go check out his other books. (Especially A Monster Calls, Burn, & More Than This.)

Recommend to: People who enjoy illustrated short stories with lgbtq themes

(Warnings: censored swearing; implied sexual content)

[Maia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This illustrated book tells an impressively nuanced story in a very short space. The narrator, Ant, ponders the meaning of virginity as a high school boy questioning his own sexuality. Ant and his best friend from childhood, Charlie, regularly mess around with each other, performing sexual acts which are blacked out in the text. The characters themselves are aware of this textual censorship and comment on it, adding a level of meta to this already nonlinear and nontraditional narrative. Charlie is sweet in private but vocally homophobic in school, hurling insults at another mutual friend, Jack, who isn't publicly out but is read as queer by his peers. Ant struggles with how much, or when, to step in and defend Jack without outing his and Charlie's secret relationship. The story has an open but hopeful ending, and its questions and unresolved aspects feel deeply true.

[Brigi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got a copy through Libby, so I only realised halfway through how short it is when I was like "oh, only 50 pages left".

I think for a lot of people this will be a really gut-wrenching story, especially with the brusque writing style. But honestly I am so over the sex-crazed teen trope (maybe it's just my ace ass). Contrary to most people, though, I kinda liked the blank boxes.

Rep: gay mc, queer side characters

[Dannii Elle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ant is an average teen boy who feels anything but, as he starts to question his sexuality and the alterations in his body, and the bodies of his peers. He feels alone and confused, but starts to understand that everyone is changing along with him, and that includes questioning all they thought they knew about themselves.

I love that books like this exist and understand I'm not the target audience so this wasn't created with me in mind. I found I longed for more storyline and, instead, this read like an instruction manual on how not to be alone and in validating young, teen thoughts. From a story-telling point of view, this didn't appeal to me too much, but it is an important publication for those it is actually intended for and I hope it finds its audience.

[Nathan Bartos · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a short and impactful piece of literature that's difficult to pin down with its experimental style. It is part novella, part graphic novel, with a sense of prose poetry to it as well. While the illustrations were absolutely not for me (mostly the characters' faces are...scary), the writing and story were so good that I couldn't even dock a star. The blacked-out words provide an interesting commentary on censoring and self-censoring and provide the narrator with a strong voice that reaches outside the story and allows him to offer commentary as a near-bystander in the story he's come to tell. I also think this book has a lot to say about queer people finding each other and sticking together, whether they're initially aware of that connection or not. I also loved the exploration of loneliness especially in Charlie's character, where it's likely that Charlie himself is not gay, but needs to feel connected and cared for, so that's why he "fools around" with Ant. Also, the scene at the end where Ant and Jake sleep together, but it's more about finding solace in each other and finally feeling wanted and alike than the start of a love story or a permanent solution to anything besides a stronger friendship. I honestly think this book is absolutely masterful and feels timeless in its exploration of masculinity, identity, and male friendships.

[River · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.25/5

[Nev · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick Ness is such an interesting author. I love how he writes books in wildly different genres yet still seamlessly incorporates stories about identity and prejudice. Different For Boys incorporates some illustrations and black bars censoring certain words which gives the book a unique feel. The story is about Ant’s experiences being closeted at school, having a secret relationship, and wondering when exactly does a boy who likes boys stop being a virgin.

The book is funny at times and serious at other moments. The conversations that it’s having about sex and sexuality are interesting, especially when paired with the theme of censorship and how that impacts queer youth.

This is a super quick read, I’d definitely recommend it for fans of queer contemporary YA stories.

[Craig Ranallo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh 17-Year-Old Craig. How this would have rocked you to your core.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know this book is probably banned in some schools, despite blacking out all the words that could make the book "unnaceptable" and "corruptive" to the young man. But God, how much good this book could do to a young boy, to help them not feel alone and understand themselves. This book is a darker, more real, kind of story than Heartstopper.

[Ceyrone · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I didn’t want it to end. Different for Boys" by Patrick Ness is a remarkable coming-of-age novel that explores themes of identity, friendship, and self-acceptance. Ness, known for his compelling storytelling and ability to delve into complex emotions, delivers another thought-provoking tale that captivates readers from start to finish. Set in a small town in England, the story follows the life of Jonah, a sixteen-year-old boy struggling with his sexuality and the pressures of conforming to societal expectations. As Jonah grapples with his own inner turmoil, he discovers an ancient secret that could potentially change the course of his life forever. With the support of his best friend, Delilah, Jonah embarks on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance, learning valuable lessons about love, courage, and the true meaning of friendship along the way. Highly recommend.

[Shelby (catching up on 2025 reviews) · Rating 4 out of 5]

��ℝ𝔼𝕍𝕀𝔼𝕎 🚶

Thank you @tandemcollectiveglobal, @patricknessbooks and @walkerbooksus for including me on this readalong! Thank you for the gifted copies. ❤️

𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗕𝗼𝘆𝘀
𝗕𝘆 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗡𝗲𝘀𝘀
𝟭𝟬𝟰 𝗽𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀
𝗣𝘂𝗯: 𝟯/𝟭𝟰/𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯 - 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄!

Different for Boys is a queer YA story about a boy named Ant who is exploring and coming to terms with his sexuality, and making sense of the experiences he's had. As this takes place in a high school setting, it also deals with the difficulties of navigating friendships and prejudice among peers. After all, it's different for boys, isn't it?

This was unlike anything I've read. I won't give anything away, but i will say that it's written in a way that acknowledges the reader, and metaphorically flips the bird to censorship and book banning... I loved that! I binged it in one sitting, and definitely recommend for folks inside and outside of the queer community - especially teens.


.
.
.
.

[Reilly Zimbric · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the content and actual story of this one was probably a 3 or a 3.5, but I thought that the style of the book was incredibly interesting and brings it to a 4.

The use of the black boxes, the illustrations, and the fourth wall breaks was not a take I expected to see on a story like this one and I think really showed the gravity of everything happening.

[Erin Entrada Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this, though I think it helps if readers are prepared for a short story rather than a novel, to adjust expectations.

[Kaleigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is literally a masterpiece. I'm telling you, it's so special. It's only a few pages long and every single word and black box bears so much weight. I'm so moved. Whatever literary YA awards are out there please direct your attention to Different for Boys.

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patrick Ness literally never misses <3

[That One Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The idea of breaking the fourth wall and putting black bars over certain words or sentences was impactful and extremely unique. I thought that was really interesting and poignant. Also very timely considering how much certain groups of people are trying to censor and ban queer literature. Well, queer everything really. So this part of the book worked super well for me.

The rest, however, fell in line with almost every YA book I’ve read. It felt way too short to fully invest in the characters, or plot. I have this gripe with almost every story that’s shorter. This mostly has to do with me wanting a deep character driven read and less an actual flaw in the book. Still, it makes YA or short stories less enjoyable for me because I just don’t connect with them like I want to.

I think Patrick Ness does an admirable job of tackling many issues facing queer youth. Internalized homophobia, loneliness, stereotypes, etc. He chose to write about more then just meet cute, and I appreciated that in a narrative.

I think for readers who enjoy the YA genre, this should be on your TBR.

[namatayi · Rating 5 out of 5]

patrick ness could write a book about paint drying and it would still be the best book i’ve ever read. some people are born to do certain things patrick is born to be a writer this book was beautiful 🥹

[Mery ✨ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5/5

DIFFERENT FOR BOYS was all over the place. It's one of my least favorite books of Mr. Patrick. Maybe it's because I am aged out or perhaps it was just another basic gay white teen story.

I hated that the cursed words were FUCKING blank out.

[Tom Mooney · Rating 2 out of 5]

Reads like a novel written about teenagers by a middle aged man.

[Andrew H · Rating 2 out of 5]

This did nothing for me at all. I thought the story telling was flat and the art work was unconvincing. It felt like a piece of young adult trendiness gone badly wrong.