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Money Changes Everything: Twenty-two Writers Break the Final Taboo--How Money Transforms Families, Tests Marriages, Destroys Friendships, and Sometimes Manages to Make People Happy
The editors of The Friend Who Got Away are back with a new anthology that will do for money what they did for women’s friendships.
Ours is a culture of confession, yet money remains a distinctly taboo subject for most Americans. In this riveting anthology, a host of celebrated writers explore the complicated role money has played in their lives, whether they’re hiding from creditors or hiding a trust fund. This collection will touch a nerve with anyone who’s ever been afraid to reveal their bank balance.
In these wide-ranging personal essays, Daniel Handler, Walter Kirn, Jill McCorkle, Meera Nair, Henry Alford, Susan Choi, and other acclaimed authors write with startling candor about how money has strengthened or undermined their closest relationships. Isabel Rose talks about the trials and tribulations of dating as an heiress. Tony Serra explains what led him to take a forty-year vow of poverty. September 11 widow Marian Fontana illuminates the heartbreak and moral complexities of victim compensation. Jonathan Dee reveals the debt that nearly did him in. And in paired essays, Fred Leebron and his wife Katherine Rhett discuss the way fights over money have shaken their marriage to the core again and again.
We talk openly about our romantic disasters and family dramas, our problems at work and our battles with addiction. But when it comes to what is or is not in our wallets, we remain determinedly mum. Until now, that is. Money Changes Everything is the first anthology of its kind—an unflinching and on-the-record collection of essays filled with entertaining and enlightening insights into why we spend, save, and steal.
The pieces in Money Changes Everything range from the comic to the harrowing, yet they all reveal the complex, emotionally charged role money plays in our lives by shattering the wall of silence that has long surrounded this topic.
Ours is a culture of confession, yet money remains a distinctly taboo subject for most Americans. In this riveting anthology, a host of celebrated writers explore the complicated role money has played in their lives, whether they’re hiding from creditors or hiding a trust fund. This collection will touch a nerve with anyone who’s ever been afraid to reveal their bank balance.
In these wide-ranging personal essays, Daniel Handler, Walter Kirn, Jill McCorkle, Meera Nair, Henry Alford, Susan Choi, and other acclaimed authors write with startling candor about how money has strengthened or undermined their closest relationships. Isabel Rose talks about the trials and tribulations of dating as an heiress. Tony Serra explains what led him to take a forty-year vow of poverty. September 11 widow Marian Fontana illuminates the heartbreak and moral complexities of victim compensation. Jonathan Dee reveals the debt that nearly did him in. And in paired essays, Fred Leebron and his wife Katherine Rhett discuss the way fights over money have shaken their marriage to the core again and again.
We talk openly about our romantic disasters and family dramas, our problems at work and our battles with addiction. But when it comes to what is or is not in our wallets, we remain determinedly mum. Until now, that is. Money Changes Everything is the first anthology of its kind—an unflinching and on-the-record collection of essays filled with entertaining and enlightening insights into why we spend, save, and steal.
The pieces in Money Changes Everything range from the comic to the harrowing, yet they all reveal the complex, emotionally charged role money plays in our lives by shattering the wall of silence that has long surrounded this topic.
320 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
28 people are currently reading
370 people want to read
About the author
Jenny Offill
24 books1,909 followersJenny Offill is an American author born in Massachusetts. Her first novel Last Things was published in 1999 was a New York Times Notable book and a finalist for the L.A Times First Book Award.
She is also the co-editor with Elissa Schappell of two anthologies of essays and the author of several children's books She teaches in the MFA programs at Brooklyn College, Columbia University and Queens University.
She is also the co-editor with Elissa Schappell of two anthologies of essays and the author of several children's books She teaches in the MFA programs at Brooklyn College, Columbia University and Queens University.
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
February 28, 2009
This was interesting because each writer had a different angle on the same broad topic: money. My complaint is that the writers have a bit too much in common for the perspectives to be as varied as the collection has the potential to be. Just the fact that they are all or almost all writers by trade means they have certain things in common, personality-wise & in how they make & view money. (Like, they tend to have unpredictable income, expensive urban lifestyles, etc) I got the definite sense that the editors are friends with them all, so again, it is not as varied as the topic allows for.
What I liked was that they were very open in exploring the role money had played with their family & friends, marriages, etc. That takes some courage, as the editors remind us right in the title.
What I liked was that they were very open in exploring the role money had played with their family & friends, marriages, etc. That takes some courage, as the editors remind us right in the title.
December 11, 2022
I don't know that the writers in this collection managed to break the taboo of discussing money. There were a couple mind-blowing essays, but mostly the experiences of the writers were totally relatable, which means the essays were talking about issues in an expected way. I didn't learn much that was new; I already understood that wealthy people have problems and whine just like poor people.
As to the mind-blowing, I recommend 'Desperate Creatures' by Felicia Sullivan, whose mother owed money to the mob, and took to cocaine to block out her pain. This truly harrowing memoir kept me up for hours after I read it...I can't imagine such a childhood. My personal pick for the best essay.
I also found 'A Dollar a Tear' by Marian Fontana quite revelatory of human behaviour. Her husband died in 9/11 and she recounts her path from widow of a hero in the first days afterward, to object of scorn and jealousy as the fight for compensation became a public issue, and insurance companies were mostly let off the hook from paying out the insurance to survivors. That struck a common theme in the book, which is people still get treated like cogs in an economic wheel in this world far too often.
For a different cultural take, I recommend 'My Inheritance' by Meera Nair, who relates how her female relatives (aunts and mother) were bullied out of their birth rights by their male relatives. It was a very sad story that led to years of bitterness and grief.
Many of the essays dealt with the trials and tribulations of the wealthy: 'Nouveau Poor' by Ruth Konigsberg talks about her family's journey from wealthy to poor as her parents sold off the family furniture. When Ruth and her brothers became adults, they all seemed to get decent jobs, and appeared to be middle-class, so I think the shock of the journey is to Ruth, who discovered that she couldn't depend on her parents. 'The American Dream' by Isabel Rose related her difficulties in finding a true and loving spouse, in the face of her family wealth. 'Stash' by Claire Dederer was about getting an unspecified sum of money from her father, and how that affected her outlook. It was a borderline braggy essay, not sure why it was included. 'The Perilous Dune' was also a memoir of growing up rich by Jeanne McCulluch, who was definitely stretching to make the facts seem as sad as she found them. She appears to have had quite a privileged life, and although her parents died, I'm not clear on why she tried to portray her life through the lens of a sunset on a better time. Everybody experiences loss of loved ones, it really didn't seem to have anything to do with the money.
There were a couple of bad boy / bad girl stories: 'Dirty Work' by Lydia Miller recounts how she worked for Larry Flynt Publications. I expect she took the job partly because she couldn't find a better one, and partly because she thought her comfortable, pleasant life was too boring to make a great writer. She appears to be looking for seasoning, an edge. I doubt that the collection of low lifes she encountered helped her out on that; she sounds like a nice person who made a really bad choice, but was fortunately too nice to be corrupted by it. Brett Martin talks about 'On Selling Drugs, Badly' which had a few laughs.
'My Vow of Poverty' by Tony Serra was quite a story. Serra is a lawyer who took a lot of pro bono cases, and fought the good fight for civil rights in the sixties and seventies. If he sounds like the character James Woods played in 'True Believer' (one of my favourites), it's because Woods' character, Eddie Dodds was based on Serra.
Overall, the collection was a worthwhile read, but not life-changing. I didn't really learn anything that made me think differently about the subject of money. It's a book that you enjoy when you read, and of which you will be hard pressed to recall the details in about a month.
As to the mind-blowing, I recommend 'Desperate Creatures' by Felicia Sullivan, whose mother owed money to the mob, and took to cocaine to block out her pain. This truly harrowing memoir kept me up for hours after I read it...I can't imagine such a childhood. My personal pick for the best essay.
I also found 'A Dollar a Tear' by Marian Fontana quite revelatory of human behaviour. Her husband died in 9/11 and she recounts her path from widow of a hero in the first days afterward, to object of scorn and jealousy as the fight for compensation became a public issue, and insurance companies were mostly let off the hook from paying out the insurance to survivors. That struck a common theme in the book, which is people still get treated like cogs in an economic wheel in this world far too often.
For a different cultural take, I recommend 'My Inheritance' by Meera Nair, who relates how her female relatives (aunts and mother) were bullied out of their birth rights by their male relatives. It was a very sad story that led to years of bitterness and grief.
Many of the essays dealt with the trials and tribulations of the wealthy: 'Nouveau Poor' by Ruth Konigsberg talks about her family's journey from wealthy to poor as her parents sold off the family furniture. When Ruth and her brothers became adults, they all seemed to get decent jobs, and appeared to be middle-class, so I think the shock of the journey is to Ruth, who discovered that she couldn't depend on her parents. 'The American Dream' by Isabel Rose related her difficulties in finding a true and loving spouse, in the face of her family wealth. 'Stash' by Claire Dederer was about getting an unspecified sum of money from her father, and how that affected her outlook. It was a borderline braggy essay, not sure why it was included. 'The Perilous Dune' was also a memoir of growing up rich by Jeanne McCulluch, who was definitely stretching to make the facts seem as sad as she found them. She appears to have had quite a privileged life, and although her parents died, I'm not clear on why she tried to portray her life through the lens of a sunset on a better time. Everybody experiences loss of loved ones, it really didn't seem to have anything to do with the money.
There were a couple of bad boy / bad girl stories: 'Dirty Work' by Lydia Miller recounts how she worked for Larry Flynt Publications. I expect she took the job partly because she couldn't find a better one, and partly because she thought her comfortable, pleasant life was too boring to make a great writer. She appears to be looking for seasoning, an edge. I doubt that the collection of low lifes she encountered helped her out on that; she sounds like a nice person who made a really bad choice, but was fortunately too nice to be corrupted by it. Brett Martin talks about 'On Selling Drugs, Badly' which had a few laughs.
'My Vow of Poverty' by Tony Serra was quite a story. Serra is a lawyer who took a lot of pro bono cases, and fought the good fight for civil rights in the sixties and seventies. If he sounds like the character James Woods played in 'True Believer' (one of my favourites), it's because Woods' character, Eddie Dodds was based on Serra.
Overall, the collection was a worthwhile read, but not life-changing. I didn't really learn anything that made me think differently about the subject of money. It's a book that you enjoy when you read, and of which you will be hard pressed to recall the details in about a month.
April 6, 2021
I read these essays in fits and starts. (I am adapting to an upgrade in responsibility.) My opinion about money is: 1) it is an incredible tool and 2) it magnifies the truth of a person if they acquire much of it. Stay humble about blessed circumstances because none of us have immunity to unpleasant events.
One lesson from hard times: it is hard to go to sleep on a hungry stomach.
One lesson from hard times: it is hard to go to sleep on a hungry stomach.
January 28, 2009
This book really isn't about money, but more the "everything" that it references in the title. "Everything" encompassing social class, feelings, experiences, things that have to do with money but aren't really money and could be interesting or boring but end up just being there at the end. I guess it wasn't what I expected, but re-reading the title and emphasizing "everything" rather than "money", I can see how I may have been sold on a different perception of this book.
But really, if you were going to write an essay for a book called "Money Changes Everything", couldn't you at least reference money in a concrete, honest way, rather than using vague terms?
But really, if you were going to write an essay for a book called "Money Changes Everything", couldn't you at least reference money in a concrete, honest way, rather than using vague terms?
April 9, 2016
These essays provide a perspective of how money has affected circumstances of 22 writers lives. I felt the essays seemed to have a greater focus on inherited wealth (versus attained) and it was interesting how $$ impacted each writer's lifestyle. Considering I have always worked for the steady (and safe!) paycheck, these essays gave me a vicarious perspective.
May 12, 2010
The quality of the essays in this collection is uneven. Some of them are great, and some of them were terrible. A good book for subway reading, although it did leave me feeling an acute sense of anxiety about my finances.
May 19, 2013
Oh, the stories I could tell about my journey as a financially struggling author. I loved this book. It was so open and honest and true. Thanks Elissa and Jenny for compiling this excellent collection.
July 14, 2008
The book was certainly very culture-bound (lots of stories about new yorkers with more money than most people). But that said, I found the stories genuinely revealing and enjoyable.
November 8, 2021
Most of these essays are excellent and I found the book thought provoking and useful. Four of the essays are terrible duds- two are offensive (racist/sexist and I cannot believe the editors approved them) and two are just terrible (Isabelle Rose and Jill McCorkle). Daniel Handler is the only rich writer who manages to be meaningful and insightful about wealth.
February 4, 2021
Many of the essays strayed from the topic, but four were excellent:
Nouveau Poor by Ruth Konigsberg
Safe by Charles D'Ambrosio
Desperate Creatures by Felicia Sullivan
Preexisting Condition by Jonathan Dee
Nouveau Poor by Ruth Konigsberg
Safe by Charles D'Ambrosio
Desperate Creatures by Felicia Sullivan
Preexisting Condition by Jonathan Dee
December 12, 2023
Enjoyed this! A mish-mash of perspectives, some sad, others thoughtful. Highly recommend.
Read
February 19, 2024No one is happy regardless of how much or how little money they have - except Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket)!
July 2, 2020
The stories were insightful and many were entertaining. But I realize I'm much more interested in the fiction I've been reading. Right now, I'm reading Jenny Offil's newest book "Weather." She is the editor (along with Elissa Schappell of the essay collection "The Friend Who Got Away" as well. I think I liked that one a bit better. They have stayed with me longer. It might just be that reading so many essays in such proximity, I simply can't remember them. They're engaging while reading, but don't stick. It's the same with the collection of poems in The Best American Poetry 2019. In that case, after reading all of the poems, I chose five poets and savored their five poems over and over again.
But I reread a few of the essays and want to find fiction or memoir by these writers:
Isabel Rose: her essay, The American Dream is about what it's like to grow up rich, has this great passage: "Claudia and I spent countless hours of our childhood playing dress up in her mother's amazing collection of couture gowns and hiding in the numerous pantries and closets of my apartment. We never said, "Isn't this fun wearing Armani and Valentino at five?" We accepted the situation, as all children do. It just seemed normal.
Fred Leebron: whose essay is about some of the "costs" of being rich and not thinking about money.
Six Figures and In the Middle of all This
Jill Corckle, who essay about the problem of money when going through divorce, which was my favorite of the essays.
But I reread a few of the essays and want to find fiction or memoir by these writers:
Isabel Rose: her essay, The American Dream is about what it's like to grow up rich, has this great passage: "Claudia and I spent countless hours of our childhood playing dress up in her mother's amazing collection of couture gowns and hiding in the numerous pantries and closets of my apartment. We never said, "Isn't this fun wearing Armani and Valentino at five?" We accepted the situation, as all children do. It just seemed normal.
Fred Leebron: whose essay is about some of the "costs" of being rich and not thinking about money.
Six Figures and In the Middle of all This
Jill Corckle, who essay about the problem of money when going through divorce, which was my favorite of the essays.
April 19, 2008
I really liked most of these. Sometimes I have trouble rating collections, whether by one or several authors; invariably some stories are good and some are less good. So this time I made a point of rating each one of the 22 (true) stories here 1-5. The resulting average was 3.68, lower than I would have expected because overall, I would rate the collection at least 4, and probably 4.5 if we had half stars in this thing.
Anyway, as long as I've already bothered to do them (and the WorldCat record has a 505 that I can copy/paste from), here are the individual ratings:
5 stars
-------
Safe / Charles D'Ambrosio
Desperate creatures / Felicia Sullivan
My vow of poverty / Tony Serra
Notes on bling / Steve Rinehart
Mad money / Andy Behrman --
Pre-existing condition / Jonathan Dee.
4 stars
-------
The guy next door / Henry Alford
Nouveau poor / Ruth Konigsberg
My inheritance / Meera Nair
For richer / Fred Leebron
For poorer / Kathryn Rhett
Dirty work / Lydia Millet
On selling drugs, badly / Brett Martin
What this cost me / Susan Choi
The perilous dune / Jeanne McCullough
3 stars
-------
A dollar a tear / Marian Fontana
The American dream / Isabel Rose
This way out / Jill McCorkle
2 stars
-------
Porn bought my football / Chris Offut
Stash / Claire Dededer
1 star
-------
Treasure me / Walter Kirn
Wining / Daniel Handler
Anyway, as long as I've already bothered to do them (and the WorldCat record has a 505 that I can copy/paste from), here are the individual ratings:
5 stars
-------
Safe / Charles D'Ambrosio
Desperate creatures / Felicia Sullivan
My vow of poverty / Tony Serra
Notes on bling / Steve Rinehart
Mad money / Andy Behrman --
Pre-existing condition / Jonathan Dee.
4 stars
-------
The guy next door / Henry Alford
Nouveau poor / Ruth Konigsberg
My inheritance / Meera Nair
For richer / Fred Leebron
For poorer / Kathryn Rhett
Dirty work / Lydia Millet
On selling drugs, badly / Brett Martin
What this cost me / Susan Choi
The perilous dune / Jeanne McCullough
3 stars
-------
A dollar a tear / Marian Fontana
The American dream / Isabel Rose
This way out / Jill McCorkle
2 stars
-------
Porn bought my football / Chris Offut
Stash / Claire Dededer
1 star
-------
Treasure me / Walter Kirn
Wining / Daniel Handler
December 3, 2014
Offill and Shappell edited another book I started a few years ago, The Friend Who Got Away, a collection of stories by women who had "broken up" with a best friend and which I found too depressing to finish. Money Changes Everything, while definitely having its depressing moments, also has some wildly good ones too. Twenty-two writers talk about their material wealth (or lack thereof) and how they ended up there. From trust-funds to schooling paid with porn-writing to "the money train" arriving, all sides of the stickiest of subjects are represented here. An engrossing look at one of last still-taboo subjects in America.
September 14, 2007
Essays of varying interest on money, by writers. A 9/11 widow ends up with millions sent to her by total strangers and struggles with how to use it. Indian women are bilked from their family's wealth by the men in the family. Daniel Handler spends thee $1200 he gets for his essay on a bottle of wine.
Talking about one's own money is taboo, so it was interesting in a way to read many case studies of different people's situations.
Talking about one's own money is taboo, so it was interesting in a way to read many case studies of different people's situations.
February 11, 2008
Another anthology by the authors who wrote "The Friend who Got Away." Thought it was really cheap to have the husband and wife team each write an article, and not have them be located back to back. They were way too similar to belong in the same compilation. Most of the stories, however, were fairly riveting-although Daniel Handler's about the $1200 bottle of wine just came across as though he was pretensious and defensive, a bad combination.
October 1, 2007
Interesting essays about money--the book is refreshing because so few people talk openly and honestly about money. Unfortunately, the quality and interest level of the essays was too uneven to give this book more than 3 stars.
February 20, 2008
Hm. I guess I expected something else from this book -- I thought it'd be more about writers and how money affected their writing lives. While the writing quality was okay, it was difficult for me to get around my disappointment. Ah, well.
September 19, 2008
I thought I was pretty well read but only recognized 2 of the authors who contributed essays. I can't articulate exactly what I was expecting from this book, but I didn't get it. Some stories were definitely better than others, but overall this book was just okay.
February 24, 2008
Didn't seem to break many taboos, or much raise my interest either.
July 17, 2008
Uneven editing with only a couple of solid essays. Most stories fail to impact, or in some cases, to decide exactly they want to say.
February 11, 2011
funny, interesting, sometimes poignant essays on that dirtiest of dirty subjects... money.
November 21, 2017
I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/14814138
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/14814138
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews