Adios, Nirvana

by Conrad Wesselhoeft

A 2011 ALA Best Fiction for Young Adults Book "Wesselhoeft offers a psychologically complex debut that will intrigue heavy-metal aficionados and drama junkies alike. Peopled with the elderly and infirm, crazy parents, caring educators, and poignant teens trying desperately to overcome death's pull, it mixes real and fictional musicians and historical events to create a moving picture of struggling adolescents and the adults who reach out with helping hands. Adios, Nirvana targets an audience of YAs who rarely see themselves in print."—Booklist "Adios, Nirvana is a bit like road rash. It rakes you raw; gets under your skin; and leaves a few shards stuck permanently in your elbow. It is well worth the trip."—Richie Partington, RichiesPicks.com "Scribble its name on a wish list, type it into your PDA, or pre-order it...because to miss it would be shame. This was (without a doubt) the BEST book I have read in a year, and if I could give it 6 stars I would. Get it, live, it, love it...pass it on."—Misty Baker, Kindleobsessed.com blog "At heart, Adios, Nirvana is everything I'd hoped The Catcher in the Rye would be...Adios, Nirvana is fresh, it's impossible not to feel sympathy for Jonathan and I find myself really wanting to keep reading to see if he can successfully battle his demons. Laced with details into things teens are exposed to on a regular basis—drinking, suicidal thoughts, depression and music, most of all the music—I really loved every minute of Jonathan's coming-of-age tale."—Roundtable Reviews "Homage to poetry, music, friendship, and youth, this brash, hip story should attract its share of skater dudes and guitar jammers."—School Library Journal "Jonathan's narration is all about style, moving between clipped, one-line sentences and heavily imagistic rhapsodies influenced by his heroes Charles Bukowski and Walt Whitman, soaring often into descriptions of his music and the atmospheric West Seattle milieu that colors his sensibilities and returning frequently to Homeric allusion."—The Bulletin "A wonderful blend of contemporary, historical, and literary fiction. [Wesselhoeft's] use of figurative language makes each page dance with images of raw realism....This is a poignant piece for older teens."—VOYA —

Genres: Young Adult, Music, Realistic Fiction, Contemporary, Fiction, Poetry, Teen

245 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Conrad Wesselhoeft worked as a tugboat hand in Singapore and Peace Corps Volunteer in Polynesia before embarking on a career in journalism. He has served on the editorial staffs of five newspapers, including The New York Times. He is the author of ADIOS, NIRVANA (2010) and DIRT BIKES, DRONES, AND OTHER WAYS TO FLY (2014), two contemporary young-adult novels from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. He lives in West Seattle. You can learn more about him at conradwesselhoeft.com.

Reviews

[Conrad Wesselhoeft]

Where did I get the idea for "Adios, Nirvana"? Real people inspired many of the characters (though, at core, they are fictional). My father was the inspiration for David, and his experiences as a Navy lieutenant during World War II became the template for David’s war experiences. I modeled Jonathan's friends, the "Thicks," on the posse of my son, Kit. We were going through tough times as a family, but we were all lifted by our friends. The boys surrounding Kit injected his life with so much friendship, so much fun and smack talk--and they still do, thank goodness. That's what the book is about--the healing power of friends and family.

I believe that stories pull us closer together, as small groups and larger societies. Storytelling is more than mere entertainment; it is essential for teller and hearer alike.

Please check out conradwesselhoeft.com. I welcome all feedback--rant, rave, or mixed. Best wishes to all on their reading and writing journey. Conrad Wesselhoeft

[Isamlq · Rating 4 out of 5]

Among my favorite movies are Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous and Elizabeth Town... Relevance? These are what Adios, Nirvana reminds me of. In fact, the two things things that I enjoyed the most about these movies and this book are Music and heart. Now, I know next to nothing about music. I sing off-key; I cannot play any instrument, so these just make my appreciation/admiration of anyone with skills in said areas all the greater... Precisely why I enjoyed this book so much.

On a bridge, that's where this book starts. From there it grabbed me by my eyeballs and would not let go till the last page. That’s how good it was. I try to steer clear of book flap words to describe things I've read. But I’ll make an exception in this case. This book is riveting.

It’s well written. It’s lyrical without being annoying. Poems just aren’t my thing, knowing that this book is about a boy, a poet really, this book did not alienate me at all. Normally, when I see a stanza here or a stanza there, my eyes glaze over and I lose interest. That did not happen here because it’s also humorous without being too snarky.

It’s a disarmingly straightforward: Jonathan’s brother is dead. Jonathan’s life is heading nowhere, and that’s despite his being a poet/prodigy. His life is focused on finishing his Tales of Telemachus, his friends, the THICKS, and hopefully finding a girlfriend. Opportunity comes knocking in the form of an blind, old man who would like to hire Jonathan to write his life’s story. So is this another Tuesday’s with Morrie? A little because there's a lot of the old man teaching our boy a thing or two about letting go and forgiving. But honestly, not at all, because this is all about Jonathan … and Telly.

Half of the time you get a picture smacked into your head instead of words and words and words that build a story up. Basically it’s VIVID. Take this for example, “… Looking like the great grunge god Eddie Vedder, of West Seattle and the world. My boxers ride my bellybutton. My Levi’s ride my butt crack.” Reading that, it’s almost as if I were recollecting something I’d seen before.

The way Jonathan spoke was quite engaging too. I wouldn’t agree with half the things he said, but I did get a kick out of the way he’d put it. Consider this, “It’s true, I am hard on my books. You don’t get your money’s worth till you’ve slammed them against the wall a few times. Broken their backs. My books are my family- the more they hurt me, the more I hurt them…” Sacrilege! I would never do those things, but I really loved the way he said it.

But Adios, Nirvana is mostly sad because everything our boy, Jonathan does, wants to do, will do and can do circles back to Telly. But Telly‘s gone... all but from Jonathan’s of memories him.

Jonathan describes his writing thus, “I prefer chaos because there’s no structure, no logic, to how I write. I write fast. Free. Gut.” I guess that’s the best way to describe ADIOS, NIRVANA too.

[Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, I got this book because it had a guitar on it. And fire. And because it said Nirvana, which is one of my favorite bands. That too. I know it was a stupid idea not to read any of it... but I did it anyway.

After I brought it home, I read the inside flap. The first line: "Johnathan may be able to connect with eternal things through the drunken haze of vodka-injected grapes..."

I closed it and looked at the cover again. Holy crap. What the hell did I just get?

I am not one to do that sort of things... vodka-injected grapes... and I think it is stupid for a kid to do something like that.

I read it anyway. In one long (2 and a half hours) sitting. As the book went on, it just kept getting better and better. The characters were dynamic and while I was devouring this book, I realized everything I took for granted.

My family, for example. With those feelings aside, I thought that this story was amazing. It wasn't like anything that I had ever read before.

Going into chapter 8, I already knew that I was going to like, if not love, this book. Then. There were those beautiful words that I love so much. xD

"So I ditty around on Green Day's '409 in Your Coffee Maker,'"

Seriously? I was like HELL YESSS! So it was there, that last grain of sugar (or taurine, whatever you prefer) that made this story amazing.

Other amazing musical mentions were made in this book. For example, Pearl Jam. Anothe great band. I just couldn't put this thing down.

I don't want to give too much away, but this story really drew me in through real-life experiences and funny dialogue. It showed the love and endurance of friendship and brothers, even after death, in a twisted sort of way.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Conrad Wesselhoeft planted himself in the mind of a teenaged boy to write this story of a grieving life. His writing planted this reader in that mind. His hero is an award-winning poet, a musician (although he thinks his brother, Telemachus, was the REAL musician), and failing student. Wesselhoeft addresses the big question of how a person lives on after an enormous loss; Jonathan, his hero, has lost his twin.

Beyond the particular lexicon of this teenager and his set of friends, and the story of his emergence from extreme sorrow into making things of his life, once more, I loved being in a familiar place--West Seattle.

I also loved and admired that Jonathan's friends are true thicks, friends through thick and thin, and are the actual names of friends in Wesselhoeft's sons' lives. Adios Nirvana honors friendships of various stripes. (Jonathan also befriends an elderly man from whom he learns more about grief and living beyond and with it.)

[Beckyt · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I picked up this book, I never expected to read it in one sitting -- but I did. Excellent story, well crafted.

[Hajar Y, · Rating 4 out of 5]

Losing someone you truly love is probably the most tragic event that could happen in a person’s life. It is even harder when the one who was taken away was the one you looked up to, shared your passions with and whom you confided in. This is what happened to Jonathan – this is the story of his life, his guilt, his grief following the death of his better half, his twin brother, Telemachus/Telly.

Jonathan is a young poet that everybody wants to be but a torture soul that no one wants to become. Since the death of Telemachus, he is no longer complete and he feels that no one can patch him back, to make him whole again. He crawls through life in a mindless stupor, dwells in self-pity and seems to only survive by consuming endless amount of taurine and caffeine tablets. Realising how self-destructive Jonathan has become, his best friends, which he called “his Thicks” and those others who know his true potential start devising a plan to wake Jonathan up from his prolong daze, to make him realise that his life is one that is worth living. What does it take for someone to begin moving on and embrace life? And can the course of life of the hopeless be changed by those who he loves and respects?

Adios, Nirvana is a book that portrays loss, grief, friendship and a value of life. The skeletal bone of the story is rather simple and of little meaning: a boy seeking for ways to handle his grief. However, the complexity of the messages hidden behind its intricate, raw, brilliant writing is what makes this book important and moving. Conrad Wesselhoeft is definitely not the kind of author who tailors his writing to make it more acceptable to everyone as he depicts reality of life as it is, no sugar coating and no polishing. I have no doubt that some people might feel rather uncomfortable with the way this book was written and some offensive language used along the way, but to me, this makes this book more real and believable.

One of the aspects in Adios, Nirvana that I thoroughly enjoy is the way the author slowly reveals the vital information, carefully creating the tension inside of the book. Ever since I start reading, I’ve wondered why Jonathan called his brother “Telemachus” but not by his real name. My question is answered towards the end of the book and it sort of emphasize the relationship between these two brothers, how one of them is one half of the whole and how truly decapitate Jonathan feels after his brother is gone. Other than that, Wesselhoeft also did an excellent job with the characters in this book. Jonathan is not entirely likeable from the beginning but the author lets readers embark this journey to see the changes in him and the real person that he suppresses beneath. The other characters too are very well-written and it can easily be seen how each and every one of them trying to help Jonathan moving on with his life.

Despite feeling that the ending is a little too rush; I am still overall satisfied with this book. A bittersweet story that talks about seizing the moment and understanding that despite every hurdle, life can still be the way we craft it to be. Adios, Nirvana is a book that I deeply love – the kind that leave imprints in my heart that won’t fade in many years to come.

Taken from my bookblog: The Bibliophile's Journal

[Thebookbutterfly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn’t really expecting to like Adios, Nirvana. I found it on the bottom shelf of Barnes & Nobles and picked it up last second, because I’d read a good review on Steph Bowe’s blog. I wasn’t even going to give it a chance.

I’m really glad I did.

It took ages for me to get into. (Ok, not ages. More like days, but samething.) During the first two or three chapters, I was debating between whether Conrad Wesselhoeft was insane or genius. But it’s not something you can debate about—I realized that the further I read into the book. He’s one of those people that are just both.

Jonathon is completely, utterly, without-a-doubt a teenage boy. He felt a bit like a reminiscent of Tom Mackee in The Piper’s Son. He had this love of music that just blew me away. I loved how his favorite songs (Here Comes the S-O-N) played such a huge part of the book and in his brother’s death. Some parts had me smiling so wide that I could hardly contain it and some of Jonathon’s quips were so sarcastic that I had to laugh. He was rude and pushed people away a lot, but I enjoyed hearing about him. I found him quite endearing and his flaws only made him more so.

One of the things that really made Adios, Nirvana a favorite book for me was how deeply the loss of Jonathon’s brother Telemachus was felt. Hearing some of the stories about Telemachus just made me ache.

All of the characters had voices that were honest and authentic. This is probably due to something that I read in the author’s note, “Much of Adios, Nirvana was inspired by my son Kit and his many friends, who tromp through my kitchen, jam on guitars, and leave behind a trail of laughter, crumbs, and ketchup stains.”

That made me smile.

The writing really left me with a jumbled mind and mixed emotions. It was like finding a battered copy of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass in the library and realizing that’s someone has penciled in so many notes that they’ve made in their own story. Jonathon draws a lot of references and emotions out of poetry, and most of it is just gorgeous to read about. Ordinary, gritty city days and transformed in Jonathon’s voice. They hold hope and promise along with tragedy and truth.

Here’s a quote:

“Writing, in the zone, is about the best feeling ever.

I’m way past writing for the fun of it. Lots of times it’s not fun. I write because I have to.

If Stalin or Hitler arrested me and tossed me into one of those camps, I would carve words with my fingernails. If they cut off my fingers, I would write with my teeth. If they pulled out my teeth, I would blink my words to any listening bird. If they cut off my eyelids, I would fart code into the troposphere.

You’d have to kill me to stop me from writing.

It’s how I breathe.”

This book is about tragedy, but it’s not tragic. It has music and hope and heart and the words just have this flowing feeling to them, like they’re lyrics. Jonathon is a teenage boy, inside and out, and he was a breath of fresh air in YA literature. It made me see the world in a different light and any book that can do that is pure, insane genius :)

[Caleb J. · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is dangerous, and not in a good/cool/edgy way. The story follows a teenage boy coping with the death of his twin brother, and I'll admit that when the author gets his tone right, it is pitch-perfect. But too often it seems that the narrator forgets that grief, healing, and the quest for identity are what this book is about. Too often, the book strays from that notion of loss and degenerates into the Self-Important Chronicles of a Self-Described Artist. Everyone, literally every single person in the book, is infinitely supportive and understanding of the narrator, constantly encouraging him and telling him how wonderful he is, and the boy responds to everyone with thick, derisive condescension. And no one even notices or cares.

The moral of the story really seems to end up being, "if you work hard to martyr yourself at every moment, everything will turn up aces." The only conflict in the story is that Jonathan nevers likes what he's doing, but he does it anyway and just complains and drinks Red Bulls the whole time.

Which brings up another point: the things included purely for characterization are what are really dangerous in this novel. Throughout the course of the book, this kid abuses caffine, energy drinks, sleeping pills, and alcohol. He and his friends also use the word "faggy" to describe something on two different occasions. I'm sure Mr Wesselhoeft would justify himself by saying that that is how teenage boys actually talk, and some may well talk that way, but not all. I think it is morally irresponsible to subtextually endorse homophobia in a book about a social outsider's search for identity. These are not things that should be portrayed positively in a young adult novel.

And my final bone to pick with this book is really a pretty minor thing: much of Jonathan's characterization is about how he's such a wonderful poet. Every character says things like, "You're such a good poet!" or "You've got a real gift!" In fact, he even wins a competition solidifying his reputation as the finest young poet in the state of Washington. If, as an author, you are going to make such a big deal about how great a poet he is, you should not include any of his poems in the novel. They will not live up to the hype. In fact, just about every bit of poetry scattered throughout the novel is almost completely forgettable, and that the narrator makes such a big deal about his own work makes him seem much, much, much more self-important and unlikable.

[D]

Sad to say, this was another Did Not Finish. By the halfway point I just felt the plot was sluggish and I really couldn't stand the voice. Not to mention it went far too into guitar detail for my liking. I mean, I get it. The kid's a guitar player. But with all of the chord talk and types of guitars, I found myself zoning out. I like a good guitar as much as the next guy but I'm not at that level. I just couldn't appreciate the knowledge.

The voice of the story was the biggest issue for me. It was angsty to the Curt Cobain degree. Like the kid stepped out of 1992 dripping in unwashed plaid and Doc Martins. Not only did I feel the voice was misplaced for the setting (it's a current setting but seeped in 20-year-old music, surely not every teenager in Seattle is gaga for the ancient grunge scene still), it was just trying too hard to be all "I don't give a shit" pissy and I just found it really annoying. Yeah, I get it. The kid's brother died (whom I couldn't get over the fact that anyone would name their kid Telemachus) and he's coping but I'm not a fan of anyone wallowing in their own self-pity, let alone a kid set to his own devices in a contrived situation where no one really gives a crap.

I could blame it on his mother but I just felt her really cliche. Some deadbeat pseudo-whore that leeches off of her son, forcing him to make a better life for her instead of being the mother she actually is. Yeah, it's a shitty situation but I just felt it was tired so I couldn't really empathize with anything.

So between Jonathan's pissing and moaning and constant guitar-playing and "LOOK AT ME" pseudo-suicide attempts, the mismatched and misplaced voice and a stumbling-along plot, I just couldn't make it to the end. Maybe if the voice were different. Maybe if it didn't try so hard to be a byproduct of Curt Cobain's pre-emo emoism and Mitch Albom's latent inner-teen's nightmare. Maybe if it was just truer to itself, I would have liked it more. Maybe someone with a little more patience than me could make it through to the end but I just didn't care enough about the MC, or his story, to do it.

[Molly Blaisdell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fearless. This is a book some may call dangerous. Some may call it evil. Some will hate it. No matter who you are; this book is going to make you uncomfortable. It will make you angry at times. It will challenge you to your core. If you want to read books that leave you the way you are and let you escape from yourself, try some dystopian/vampire/boy-saves-us-from-all-evil book. Try a milk toast version of Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys or a fairy tale. If you wish to "swim toward the shimmer" take the time to plumb the depths of this story.

Adios Nirvana is freefall in language and in purpose. It does not slant the world to make it more palatable or more politically correct. It reveals the world as it is, like chiaroscuro. It's about light and shadow. No varnish to make it all pretty. Jonathan, broken, grieving his brother, lost Telemachus, Jonathan dwells in an almost dream-like world of shadow. This story circles about the depth of friendship, an immortal guitar, obscure prophesy, and the suffering that binds generations. If you live in an ivory tower of righteousness expect to feel your foundations to weaken.

I loved this journey into chaos and music. You will find firecrackers hid in the pages of this book. And they will burn you more than any literal fire. This is a book about the language of emotion, the language of the natural world, it will bring you on a cloud of imagery closer to reality than you ever have been. Voices will emerge. You may find your own voice. I'm not book reviewer, but I love this book. I've dog-eared the pages. I wake up in the night to search out phrases within the music of this story. It's a book about putting your fears aside and living your life, recognizing the value of your story and the need to tell that story, I think. Like Walt said, “Everyday of light and dark is a miracle." And like Jonathan -- "there are miracles in the moments."

Swim toward the shimmer. Swim.

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished The Sky Was Everywhere by Jandy Nelson, which is about a girl grieving the death of her older sister. This novel is about a boy grieving after the death of his brother. So they are essentially about the same thing - the loss of a sibling (siblings who both characters lived in the shadow of) - and I found it fascinating the way the two stories and two protagonists and two authors dealt with the same theme. Lennie, the narrator of The Sky Was Everywhere, dealt with her loss with a new romance and becoming close to her family again - in this novel, Jonathon has quite a different journey. The greatest element, to me, was his frienship with the man whose biography he was asked to write - all of the scenes with him were brilliantly written.

At times I found Jonathan to be quite an alienating character - I'm not sure whether it was the writing style, or the intention of the author, but he seemed to me quite superior at times, as if he knew better than everyone else. That's probably quite representative of teenagers (*ducks, avoids tomatoes*) but every now and then the character would say something (something sexist, or ageist, or just stupid) and I thought, if you were real, I would smack you upside the head about now. But there was a lot of voice and a lot of attitude to this character, which I liked. He was no Bella Swan. The other characters, too, were fantastic - everyone was brilliant (I really felt as if I knew Telly, even though he was dead for the entirety of the book). I loved it and I hated it and the fact that I had such an emotional response to it means it must be fantastic.

Strongly recommended if you like books with a musical or poetic theme, and a very snarky narrator. I think this novel could be equally enjoyed by both teenaged girls and boys.

[Alissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cannot express how much I enjoyed this book. It’s a whirlwind of good characters, descriptions, and writing.

Jonathan is deep, insightful and creative, but not to an overwhelming degree. There are lighthearted, purely comical moments. The dialogue is a bit iffy; there’s an excessive use of whoa! and ching! and other strange exclamations. And the romance… well, it doesn’t exist. What little there is isn’t worth having. It fits, but isn’t one hundred percent convincing.

The friends aren’t characterized – essentially they’re just names stuck to one adjective. For example, Nick. He is nice. Ta da. They’re not by any means useless. They just don’t add or take away from the story. Pretty free-floating. Wish they’d been included more, especially Nick.

Not so sure the parents served any real purpose. Felt like there was more building with them, but the end cut off the rest of their story, which was a shame because they’re characterized well. You get a good sense of who they are, but you never get the why.

The writing itself is beautiful. Poetical. Even though it’s not written as poetry. Jonathan’s voice is very distinct and boyish, yet thoughtful. Sure, he eases his pain with writing and reading and music, which are all typical cures, but it’s the way he does so that makes the story unique.

And Telly – he’s not there, but his character is something special. It’s a great touch. The brother connection stands out most throughout the entire story, and it doesn’t sound repetitive or cliché. It’s pure.

Adios, Nirvana doesn’t go above and beyond, but it’s solid.


(www.thegrammariansreviews.blogspot.com)

[David Patneaude · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've said it before and I've probably written it before, but the "buzz" thing is an ongoing puzzle to me. In other words, how does one book, maybe good, maybe not so good, maybe awful, get tons of attention, and another, maybe very good, go largely unnoticed?

I don't know exactly how much notice Conrad Wesselhoeft's Adios, Nirvana received when it was published in 2010, but I don't recall seeing it featured on bookstore shelves or lauded in reviews or given awards. Those things should have happened, though. The book has flawed and wounded but likable and memorable characters who change and grow, a believable narrative, credible language, conflict, humor, and a strong voice. What else do you need?

Overall, Conrad's writing is excellent, and he does a fine job of balancing the various elements he has going on in the story. And then there's the feeling that this could be real, that these are real people, kids and adults, that you want to get to know better. This is the kind of fiction that involves you enough that you want to know what's going on with the characters now, now that the ending has been written. Jonathan, Conrad's main character, is a smart kid, but he's believably smart. He's a kid, not an adult in kid's clothing. He behaves like a kid, feels like a kid, hurts like a kid, takes risks like a kid.

This kind of verisimilitude is what is missing in some of the stories I've read (yes, even those that get "buzz") that are written about and for young adults. But this story gets it right, and the author should take a deep bow, even though his show may not have attracted a full house.

[Jim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my favorite debut novel by a YA author since "Looking for Alaska". I was hooked by the end of the first chapter and could not put it down. Jonathan is a budding writer and guitar player, locally famous for being the youngest winner of a prestigious statewide poetry competition, but he is also depressed and grieving after the recent, unexpected death of his twin brother, and his schoolwork is suffering badly. Faced with the prospect of having to repeat his junior year, the school principal offers him a two-part "makeup assignment" instead - to meet with a dying World War II veteran at a local hospice and write the man's memoirs, and to play a certain song at the school graduation ceremony. The story is enjoyable in its own right, but what takes this book to the next level is Jonathan himself. He is a wonderful main character, as richly complex as any real person, with a narrative voice that is by turns philosophical and brutally honest, fueled by all the raw emotions of a teenager. I would definitely recommend this to creative teens who are into things like writing poetry or playing music (middle school may be slightly too young), and of course anyone who just likes a good YA book.

[Jake · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite books I've ever read. Jonathan is such a relatable character who really shows the poets plight. I understand him so much and I think its really awesome that Conrad Wesselhoeft was able to capture such true personality. I blew through this book twice. The first time, in just a few short hours. I think 5, or so. It was constantly appealing, never a dull moment at all. The references throughout of famous poets like Charles Bukowski and Walt Whitman, the guitarist Eddie Vedder, it was all so.. perfect. Everything fit perfectly in this book, there was no gaps missing, no questions left unanswered that needed to be answered. The book inspired me so much, and i've recommended it to so many people over and over. It is an absolutely a must read for every teenager, every aspiring poet and anyone who enjoys a good book. It isn't a long read, or an extremely tough one but there is some very deep concepts which really made me think and feel exactly what Jonathan felt. Please, read it!

[Molly Ringle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm out of my depth when it comes to discussion of guitars or beat-style poetry, both of which are important to this narrator, but still found this a relatable and vibrant book. Though dealing with a teen boy in a sad place in life indeed, it wasn't as depressing as I expected. Jonathan's breezy, quirky, vibrant voice gave a youthful and almost upbeat feel to his tale. Plus, West Seattle! With Eddie Vedder doing a cameo as one of the characters! How cool is that?

[Darlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book was like riding on the wings of an eagle, soaring and swooping through grief, despair, hope and deliverance. The music and poetry of the language as well as the soul of Jonathan was a pleasure to read and experience. A wild ride that is honest, raw, tender, and life changing for the reader. Thank you, Conrad.

[Katherine Bond · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful and brilliantly written, Conrad Wesselhoeft deals with friendship, brotherhood, grief, loss and finding oneself in a way that is authentic, moving and laced with humor and hope.

[Joresa Dainty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yippee-aye-oh-cuy-ay!

Life is random. Life is absurd. Life is deadly.
Adios to my bookfriend of combined poems, musics, novels and dramas!
BRAVO! :D

[Brian Rapp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read, but still a very good book. I thought the story was unique...even though many of the the usual YA themes appear. The WW2 stories and the connection the old timer and the kid make were sweet and a good lesson for younger folks...even for myself who isn't young anymore! But my favorite part of the book is the music. It plays an important role in the story and in the relationship between the twins and the growth and healing of Jonathan . I'm not much of a musician, but the writer seems to know his stuff. He name drops some of my favorite bands and even includes Eddie Vedder as a character.
I really didn't like how the author handled Jonathan's choices to stay awake and get everything done. I know people will resort to such tactics for an all nighter here and there, but he did it for months. Aside from his friends worrying about him, there were no real consequences to his behavior. In fact, it seemed a bit glorified to me. He did get everything done. I hope young kids don't think that.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Everybody's wondering, how can I arrange the daisies and dandelions of my life into a better bouquet? The answer is, you can't. Life is random. Life is absurd. Life is deadly. The bouquet arranges itself. And it doesn't always bloom or sound good."


There are two types of people in this world. Both are helplessly broken, of course. Some people just hide it better than the others. There's the one who saves, while there's the others that are in need of saving. Maybe not physically. But emotionally. But what if someone of the latter doesn't want to be saved? What if he's permanently broken, like a broken glass left onto tiny little pieces, pieces too small to even prick? Or even a crooked tree, forever bent and crooked, with no more hopes of being straightened?


You'll still find a way through, of course. Like a light passing through the cracks of a broken vase. Like closing your hands on jagged glass and opening it and finding a butterfly. There's no such thing as 'can't' or 'impossible' after all, unless you let it happen.


"Maybe we don't need to hit the duck. Maybe all we need to do is say what we must say once, to another human being, openly and honestly, with humility and remorse. Maybe that is enough."


So, do you guys know what the thing is with books that involve grief and music? They're all raw. Real. Funny. And deadly heartbreaking. (Deadly = Awesome). Just look at John Green's [Will rayson, Will Grayson] for example. It was my favorite book last year, and not a day would go by that I wouldn't read at least a paragraph of it. I've always thought that, oh hell. Nothing else could be better than this. But boy, this book sure as hell proved me wrong.


Adios, Nirvana is about a sixteen year old guy named Jonathan, coping with the recent death of his twin brother, Telemachus. What used to be Seattle's greatest poet now seems to be hell bent on ruining his life more and more each day. But of course, his thicks, his mother, and a damn obstinate Indian principal won't let that happen now, would they?



"Take two images: Girl falls asleep on a Greyhound bus. The moon rises. By itself, the moon rising is nothing. It's a cliche. But the girl falling asleep and missing the moonrise is everything. It blasts the poem with pain and possibilities. Figure out what those possibilities are and you've got a poem. That's the secret--to close your hand on jagged glass, then open it and find a butterfly."



I cherish this book. Almost as much as I cherish those stupid nights where my dad and my mom and I would play scrabble, with me always losing. And doing the darn dishes. Really, this book was like a child's first word to his/her parents, a lover's little secret, or even a damn new religion's newest, purest bible, all rolled into one. Yes, I know that I'm exaggerating. But my god, my love for this book currently knows no bounds.


After I finished reading it, I just sat still for a while, pondering life and death and all the damned things that should matter and yet doesn't matter. This book just makes you do that, even if the ending was pretty cheerful, to be honest. A certain character's death hit me hard though. I cried. And I never cry, to be honest.


So I, being a child bereaved of a twin myself, could honestly say that this book is both ravishing and powerful. It has that something that makes the readers feel as if they're standing right there, next to Jonathan. Like a part of his thicks. Maybe even family. Singing along to the good ole' blues.


Jonathan was such a promising narrator, taking his readers along and enticing them to read on and on, more and more. (Though I have to admit, that sometimes I'd fall asleep while reading this book; really, it sometimes seemed like lullaby to me. Maybe even Brad Pitt or a Slavic poet. Maybe it's just that I seem to lack sleep too much, this days.)


Really, it's pretty damn hard not to love this book. Especially if you love poetry as much as I do. And if you know what it's like to lose your twin. Because it hurts. A lot. And that, coming from me, who's never even had a single memory of my twin. Just a damn picture. But that's enough. Because as far as I know, blood is thicker than water. And it doesn't matter, whether blood and bone or spirit and ashes. That's still family, yo.


""That's how we worked," I say. " To bring out the other side in each other. I'd bring out the Telemachus in him, and he'd bring out Odysseus in me. Just like I brought out the guitar player ni him, and he brought out the poet in me.""


Okay. I could write a longer review, because this.. this is not enough. Not enough to even express everything I feel for this book. But to sum it all up, I love this book. I could never, ever express my gratitude to the author, Sir Wesselhoeft for sending me a copy of this book. I said that this book will be my favorite, and it freaking is. Maybe even more. Maybe even a bible.

It was like a getaway onto perpetual bliss, or even my own unwritten diary. After all, Jonathan and I's mind aren't that different. (He's just smarter, hah.) It was dark and helplessly beautiful. It got under deep, deep under my skin, like a piece of glass would if I'd ever be in a car crash. I could well say that it's worth the trip though. Because it is. [five million stars]

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing. Although it may not be everybody's cup of tea, it brought many points up that most authors are barely starting to talk about as time proceeds. The author's use of character relatability to the reader is also a plus. It really shows the struggles that some people go through and how its hard to go through certain loses, but that together, with the help of some friends, you'll overcome obstacles that you can't even imagine.

[Sophie M]

I thought it was really good

[Richie Partington · Rating 5 out of 5]

25 July 2010 ADIOS, NIRVANA by Conrad Wesselhoeft, Houghton Mifflin, October 2010, 240p., ISBN: 978-0-547-36895-5

"Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here"
-- George Harrison, "Here Comes the Sun"

"Biologically and technically, Vic is my father. But that raises the question: What is a father? A sperm-blasting shotgun? Or a shepherd who pulls the little lambs out of the quicksand and keeps the wolves away?"I vote for the shepherd. In which case, the guy buying the lottery ticket is definitely not my father. "I haven't seen him for nearly eight months -- since the funeral. He sat two rows back, off to the side, alone, a brooding pastrami sandwich in a stained tie and shades."Afterward he walked up to me. Took off the shades."'Why?' he asked."Why!'
''How?' would've been easy. Just quote the Seattle Times: 'A West Seattle teenager was struck and severely injured by a Metro bus late Tuesday...."He just shot out of the dark on his skateboard," said veteran driver Griffin Delmorio. "I didn't see him"'
"What the Seattle Times didn't say was this" that bus would've killed anyone else instantly. But Telly was too full of life to die instantly."Or this: that Telly was on a mission to buy me a bottle of cough medicine."

Telly was Jonathan's twin brother. Since his twin's death, high school poet extraordinaire Jonathan has little interest in school achievement. He submerges himself in a haze of Red Bull and NoDoz, staying up day and night composing an elegy for Telly, playing with his girlfriend (which is a guitar named Ruby), and working on painting the exterior of the house for his mother who is intent upon transforming the family residence into a wedding chapel to be called The Chapel of the Highest Happiness.

"There must be some kinda way out of here," said the joker to the thief
There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief"
-- Jimi Hendrix (the greatest musician to ever come out of Seattle) covering Dylan

In the aftermath of tragedy, it is going to take a village to keep Jonathan from coming irreparably unglued. Everybody from his mother's latest one-night stand to his high school principal are trying to make contact with him. When Jonathan is offered a deal by a sympathetic teacher -- to make up for neglecting school assignments across the curriculum since the accident by working with a blind and terminally-ill cancer patient at the local hospice -- those in his corner come to also include a feisty teen girl with bad hair, a ninety-something year-old oracle and dementia patient named Agnes whose favorite phrase is "Float a turd," and David Cosgrove the dying cancer patient who has his own true story -- set on a Naval destroyer during WWII -- of dealing with death.

"I wish I was an alien, at home behind the sun,
I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on.
I wish I was the pedal break that you depended on.
I wish I was the verb "to trust", and never let you down."-- Eddie Vedder, "Wishlist"

This most unusual musical tale set amidst the Seattle music scene also counts Eddie Vedder (who makes several appearances in ADIOS, NIRVANA) as one of Jonathan's supporters.

So, his mother charges him with painting the house, the principal charges him with singing and playing a rendition of her favorite song (Crossing the River Styx) at this year's graduation, David Cosgrove charges him with writing a book telling the WWII story, Agnes charges him with playing lute for her, and his friends (his thicks) charge him with returning to the land of the living.

"Golden-haired Telemachus -- Achilles on a skateboard, Socrates of the alleys. Always skating and pickin' his guitar, sometimes both at the same time. Always jacking us up, making us feel we could be mayors and rock stars. Even poets."Telly was sunlight. Blond and blue."I am darkness. Shades of gray and sepia."

ADIOS, NIRVANA is a bit like road rash. It rakes you raw; gets under your skin; and leaves a few shards stuck permanently in your elbow.

It is well worth the trip.

Richie Partington, MLIS
Richie's Picks http://richiespicks.com
BudNotBuddy@aol.com
Moderator http://groups.yahoo.com/group/middle_... http://slisweb.sjsu.edu/people/facult...

[Vahini Naidoo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, so I should probably say that after I finished reading this book I noticed it on my agency's website. So, maybe I'm a little bit biased, but I just wanted to talk about how GOOD this book is.

I read Adios, Nirvana courtesy of an arc from netgalley, and man, I loved it. It's hard for me not to immediately draw comparisons to one of my favourite novels from earlier this year The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson, because both books explore some really similar things, those being:

- Loss of a sibling
- Poetry
- Music

And they both have incredibly unique, fantastic voices (although totally different. Lennie's in The Sky is Everyhwere is beautiful and honest. Jonathan's voice here is brash and striking).

However, despite covering a lot of the same ground, Adios, Nirvana is amazingly different (although as wonderful) as The Sky is Everywhere. I've already mentioned that the voice of each novel was vastly different, but I feel like I should talk about the voice of this novel more. Jonathan's voice is heartbreakingly real -- the stuff he says, and the way he says it, is not always likable, but he's so honest and believable that you love him regardless. Basically, the voice helps to make Jonathan feel real. It helps that because Jonathan's a poet (yeah, being a poet always helps) the language is almost-always vivid -- not a cliche in sight in this novel.

Expanding on Jonathan being a wonderful main character, he has one of the best character arcs I've seen in a YA novel recently. At the start of the novel, this boy is torn up by grief, but he's also low on confidence, because like Lennie in The Sky is Everywhere (sorry, I'm doing a kind of comparative review) he felt that he always walked in the shadow of his dead twin brother Telemachus. The rest of the novel is a journey through Jonathan's grief -- superbly delved into by Jonathan's relationship with David, an old man whose life story he's hired to write (no spoilers, but I cried bucketloads) -- but also about Jonathan's developing confidence. Again, no spoilers, but there are some scenes at the end of this novel that are so wonderfully quirky and telling.

Where I feel The Sky is Everywhere and Adios, Nirvana diverge is that The Sky is Everywhere is a story of grief, but also of love and Adios, Nirvana is a story of grief, but also of friendship. The relationship between Jonathan and his "thicks" (his friends, basically) is incredibly well developed -- and the friends are insane and loyal. I loved them. Furthermore he relationship between Jonathan and his brother, Telly, is also dynamic and rounded even though Telemachus doesn't ever show up in the narrative.

Also, I'll admit it, I am a HUGE fan of novels that use poetry and music (the music here is a bit more, untrained, raw, guitarists in bands than in The Sky is Everywhere. In case you're wondering). I feel like the poetry here (Jonathan is writing a poem called The Tales of Telemachus) said so much about the character, and the songs used like Crossing the River Styx, also added a lot of depth to the novel.

Overall, a bittersweet novel with a brilliant character arc, this novel combines beautiful prose with an amazingly honest voice. Highly recommend it for fans of The Sky is Everywhere and contemporary YA in general.

[cara]

♥ Favorite Line(s):
"That's the secret--to close your hand on jagged glass, then open it and find a butterfly."

"As a poet, I know that truth hides in the nuance."

"The nurse looked up from her clipboard.
'Who are you?'
'Good question,' I say."

♥ My thoughts:
I honestly do not think I can review this in the way I've been doing most of my reviews lately. ADIOS, NIRVANA is too lyrical, too raw, too poetic, to be discussed in a list format. That being said, this is one of the best books I've read in not only the past year, but ever. The story of Jonathan's triumphs and downfalls is up there on my list of "books I would marry if it were legal."

I am a huge fan of contemporary YA. Although I read more books with a supernatural element, I can honestly say I enjoy reading contemps. way more. I feel that it's harder to get a plot moving in realistic fiction. In paranormal romance, someone can vamp out or blow something up and BAM! there's a new challenge, a new plot twist waiting to be steered in the right direction. Contemporary twists and turns {when done well} seem more subtle, more sinuous to me. Almost lyrical in their delivery. I love the soft, smooth styles of Jandy Nelson and Melina Marchetta, love the raw, blunt style of authors like Hannah Moskowitz. When an author manages to weave both of these somewhat clashing elements into one story, he has my heart. Hence why John Green forever owns my soul {and I still think KATHERINES is one of his best and deserves to stop being treated like the middle child}. Ahem, anyway. Conrad Wesselhoeft manages what many struggle with, in ADIOS. He twists and bends the story into a completely believable, relatable, and utterly engrossing tale without losing sight of the message he wants to get across.

Throughout the novel, we see life through the eyes of Jonathan, 1/2 of the polar opposite pair he makes up with Telemachus. The twins are light and dark. Telly is talented, Jonathan's okay. Telly's a confident leader, Jonathan hangs in the back. Sounds cliche, right? Except it totally doesn't feel that way while reading. Jonathan's voice is so crisp and distinct that absolutely nothing seems overdone or cliche. And my lord, the internal dialogue is to. Die. For. While music is a big part of this novel, even the story itself seems like a song. The words practically flow from page to page. It's completely addicting, and I had a hard time taking a break half-way through because I felt I would lose the rhythm I'd grow accustomed to.

I know throughout this review I haven't really said much about the plot. Mostly because it's so simple when described. Twin dies. Remaining brother finds a kind of peace in the last place he imagined. So simple. Wesselhoeft's writing and language takes the simple plot and transforms it into a coming-of-age story for the ages. Had anyone else tried to pull this story off...well, I highly doubt I would've enjoyed it half as much. I cannot wait to read more from this author as he is now one of my favorite YA voices.

♥ Summing it up:
If you couldn't tell from the review, or didn't read it, I absolutely adored this novel. I want to marry this book.

[Novel Novice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adios, Nirvana by Conrad Wesselhoeft is one of those books that feels like a moment pulled out of time. It is ripe with pop culture references, set in a real-life breathing city and filled with characters who could be your best friends, your cousins, your neighbors, your siblings. Every part of it feels steeped in reality. It’s one of those books men can read to feel nostalgic about their youth; that teen guys can read to relate to in the present; and that girls and women can read to better understand their husbands, boyfriends, brothers, fathers, etc.

Adios, Nirvana tells the story of high school junior Jonathan — who’s on the cusp of flunking out of school. He didn’t always struggle with school. In fact, his principal is still beaming over the accolades he received for being named last year’s Best Young Poet. But since then, Jonathan’s twin brother Telly was killed — and Jonathan hasn’t been the same since, and neither has his poetry or his music (both he & his brother were jamming guitar players). But Jonathan’s friends aren’t about to let him throw his life away — and neither is his mom or his teachers. So it’s with some reluctance that Jonathan ends up listening to a dying World War II veteran tell his story — and by writing down this man’s story, Jonathan will be able to scrape by and move onto his senior year of high school.

Wesselhoeft writes in such a way that his book comes to life. It doesn’t feel like fiction; it feels like something real. Like something I could reach out and touch. Jonathan feels like a real person; not a character. I can relate to him. I understand him. I could know him. And his friends, too. Every one of them is painted so vividly — without feeling cartoonish. They drink Red Bulls to stay awake. They jam loudly on guitars late into the night. They concoct insane plans involving a priceless guitar and a giant Velcro King Kong statue. They are teenage guys. We all know them. We either were them or we went to school with them. If you’re in high school now, they are your classmates. If you’re older, they shaped your past.

Likewise, Wesselhoeft’s descriptions of Seattle transport you there. I could picture myself in the grimy city snow; waiting for the bus; crossing the floating bridge. I could see myself walking along the hilly streets right alongside Jonathan. And I must confess, I’ve long had a bit of a thing for Seattle’s music scene. Yes, Seattle, the birth place of Grunge Rock. Of Nirvana and Pearl Jam. So to see this side of the city’s history come to life was exciting; it meant something to me.

And while Wesselhoeft’s story is steeped in the present day, the past is an equally important part of the story — just as it’s an equally important part of life, in general. For it’s through listening to David tell his stories from World War II that Jonathan finally comes to understand himself; that he comes to terms with his brother’s death. And somewhere along the way, he finds his voice, too.

[Jordyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the year since his twin brother's (Telemachus') death, brilliant teenage poet Jonathan has lost a bit of himself. He doesn't sleep, he rarely attends classes, and when he jumps off a bridge in a snow storm his best friends -- his thicks -- get even more worried about him. When it becomes clear that Jonathan's recent lack of dedication to school means he might get held back a grade, the only chance he has to make things right is an unusual job writing the biography and war memories of a blind and dying man.

Though there's a lot happening in this book, the narration is told so solidly from Jonathan's viewpoint that there's a huge distance between the reader and the action. This is because Jonathan himself is quite a bit removed from things. This is a 200-ish page book, and every page is very much set in the recesses of Jonathan's mind. It's a book that demands the reader be on board with the character above all else.

Luckily, Jonathan's a pretty awesome character. Though it took me longer than I would have liked to really be invested in this book, I think a lot of that was due to the fact that I expected more action and less inner monologuing from Jonathan. This is a character reeling from the death of his twin brother and best friend, whose only family left is his likewise dysfunctional mother, and who is very obviously in a place of desperation. Though we never see Telemachus alive, he is such an integral part of the story, and such a huge part of Jonathan, that he becomes a very real character. Somehow while reading this, I missed him as a character even though I only knew him through his brother Jonathan's memories and thoughts. This alone shows what a powerful character Jonathan is: he carries not only the entire story, mostly devoid of action and very very emotional/mental, but also manages to bring to life characters that the reader has otherwise no reason to care about. Jonathan, who never sleeps and runs on a steady diet of Red Bull and No-Doz, is the heart and soul of Adios, Nirvana, and aside from him there's honestly not a whole lot to talk about.

Sure, there's the plot -- the dying man whose memoirs Jonathan is writing, the deal he makes with the principal so that he doesn't get held back a grade, and the girl he finds himself drawn to, but those are more like sidenotes here. The book is all Jonathan and though his relationships with others, especially his best friends (his "thicks") are sparsely written, they're done so incredibly well. This book is the written equivalent of a simple painting that, with only a few brush strokes, manages to be strikingly vivid. While it took me a while to get into the book, by halfway through I was absolutely caught up in Jonathan's story. The themes this book tackles: life, death, art, what it means to care for another person and to be there for them, never felt overwrought or tacked-on. They were handled deftly and truly, making for a heart-touching sort of read.

[Misty Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone will eventually experience loss. The circle of life is as cruel and irrational as it is prosperous and giving. We will one day find ourselves saying goodbye to our mothers, our cousins, our children and our friends. The majority of us will wrap ourselves up in the comfort of our lives and eventually learn to live with the hand that fate has dealt us, but what happens to the fraction of us that remain broken… scared…searching for missing pieces? What happens when a piece of you, your better half, your compadre in all things living, your TWIN is the one to welcome humanities cruelest joke?

Jonathan is one half of a whole. He is Robin without Batman, Telemachus without Odysseus , Nirvana without Cobain. Jonathan is the poet we all want to be, and the damage person we hope we never are. Jonathan is beautifully broken.

After the sudden death of his brother Telly, Jonathan is forced to face the reality of life without his sidekick, but things like school and the future are hard to see when his mind, (which works in jagged monologues and conversations with Whitman,) would rather dwell in self actualization and pity. After 1 very sobering evening, (involving a bridge and a 20ft jump,) his friends and mentors start to take notice of his self-destructive behavior and devise a plan. 1. Go to school 2. Write a book 3. Play your guitar 4. Embrace your life. Can life really be as simple as freeing your inhibitions? Can a group of hopeful people change the course of the hopeless? And does moving on mean you have to let go?

I wish I could use the words I normally flock to when I am stunned by a book. Eloquence, brilliant, artfully crafted, but none of these seem fitting enough for what I just experienced. “Adios, Nirvana” is a novel that read like a flawless string of poetry. It captured the realities that swirl around us and put it into a language that rivals its poetic influences. The physical story was of little meaning (a boy trying to deal with loss) the underlying complexities are what was important. It was about capturing your life, seeing both sides of the fence, understanding that life is just a particle of dust to be twisted and blown in the direction of which you choose.

Unfortunately, (at the moment) this book is unavailable, still in its publishers cubby and waiting to be sent to the masses, but I urge you to make note of it. Scribble it’s name on a wish list, type it into your PDA, or pre-order it. (whatever is your equivalent to a trusty string around your finger) because to miss it would be a shame.

This was (with out a doubt) the BEST book I have read in a year, and if I could give it 6 stars I would.

Get it, live it, love it… pass it on.

Happy reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: “These moments can be wonderful opportunities, but they’re not always apparent to us.”

[Noam · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm half way through the book, and I hate it. But I decided to give it a go, finish it, and then come here and name all the things that are wrong with it.

But worse than how obvious, cliche, unimaginative, predictable and just badly written in every possible way this book is. This is the thing that made me give this book a 1 star rating (and only because I can't give it none)

"When the flat asses of the world take over from the tight ones, some god somewhere must be weeping" [page 124].

And let's be clear this is not a metaphor in any way - the hero (who is also the storyteller) is actually complaining about the fact the receptionist now have a flat ass rather than the juicy one the usual receptionist had.

But the sentence itself is not the problem, the problem is that this statement is not challenged in any way! This is a YA book that seems to be intended to be read by boys, and from the (non-existence) level of sophistication I'd say young YA boys, not over 15 in my eyes. And this is a person they are supposed to look up to, they are supposed to worship him and learn from him - and this is what they read!

But, again, this is only the last straw.

It is resting on, first of all, the complete disrespect Wesselhoeft has for his readers. There is zero subtext in this book! Whenever there might be some, the narrator is self-explaining it. Half way through the book, Jonathan is in no way challenged. He is being directed to do something, even forced to in order to pass his classes but no one is actually forcing him to face himself, his decisions, his views.

The plot is moving so slow, if there is one at all (an actual plot! not just a line of events), and the poetic flavor Wesselhoeft tried to give the narrator is pretentious and cannot cover for the lack of actual action.

For example, at some point in the book Jonathan says something in the lines of "the truth is just the truth, if it's even that". What a basic wanting-to-be-deep textbook teen motto, right? Any beginner writer would know that the first response to that should be an adult telling him to shut up cause he's clearly a lost scared boy who doesn't know his left from right.

In the book no one does. Jonathan is a hero for no reason. A hero that feels sorry for himself without the author making you feel sorry for them first. I just hate Jonathan. I don't want him to do well at school, I don't get why his friends care about him at all, I almost wanna say well done to his dad for trying to built a new family.

This came out not as coherent a review as I wanted it to be, but at the end it doesn't matter - don't read this book! (unless you are looking for a proof as to how YA novels are NOT on the same level as adult novels. This is seriously badly written in any and all meaning)