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Bondage
After meeting Anthony, a hot shot Hollywood director, Sara, usually the sexual aggressor in her encounters with men, finds the roles changing as Anthony takes complete control over her
Hardcover
First published February 11, 1994
About the author
Patti Davis
20 books54 followersMy new book, Dear Mom and Dad, is the end of a long journey toward understanding my family. My hope is that readers will be inspired to take a step back and look at their own families through a wider lens. Families are all complicated to some degree, certainly mine was, but in this book I also explore the times when there was just love there. That's part of our story too.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
January 1, 2015
When I rate books I read some time ago, I rate them based on what I thought the first time I read them which is why I gave this one five stars. A friend of mine loaned me this book because I ran out of stuff to read. She told me nothing about it in advance except that she thought I would really like it and then she laughed her ass off so I went into it expecting it to suck. I was fourteen and the concept of bondage had not yet entered my pervy little mind but this book....ah, this book...it started me on my pervy path of kinky bondage thoughts with a quickness! I couldn't believe what the hell I was reading, that people actually did the stuff that the characters did in this book (tied up, spanked, and violated with the handle of a whip...humm), yet I liked the idea...a lot. A year later I bought Anne Rice's Beauty series and this book instantly became lightweight compared with the incredibly (and yeah, sometimes twisted) kinky stuff I found in that trilogy. I even tried to read this book again when I was about twenty-two and I bought it at a yard sale. It did not have the appeal it once held for me BUT it did introduce me to a whole new type of fantasy that I still dig today so for that, and the awe I once felt reading it, it gets my highest honor. Sort of like an old friend you used to party with that never grew up like everyone else...but you still keep in touch because of the secrets you once shared....In a good way of course. lmao
May 19, 2026
I've read this book many a time throughout my life, and my most recent reading of this book had left me pretty emotional and with a lot of thoughts about the various themes it explored. I'm a little dismayed to see how many reviews are incredibly shallow and hinge mostly on how disappointed they are that the book itself seems to be more about emotional bondage, power dynamics and the effects of trauma and abuse instead of whatever hot sexy BDSM book they were expecting. Some even tried to compare it to 50 Shades of Grey, which is just so unfair and insulting. At least Patti Davis understands the themes she is exploring vs a bad Twilight fanfic told by EL James self insert Gary Stu---Christian Grey. Anthony Cole is Christian Grey if he was written in a story where the author knew Christian Grey was a bad guy and didn't think what he was doing was good. For some reason critical analysis is dead and some of y'all seem to think just talking about bad stuff automatically means you condone it.
Anyway, A summary:
The story itself is told from two perspectives, mostly Sara--sarcastic, guarded, cynical towards men, and occasionally; Belinda--sullen, timid, lovestarved & constantly in one sided exploitative dynamics with men. It starts with Sara's childhood growing up in a well adjusted family with her older brother Mark in the San Fernando Valley. After a formative traumatic event where Sara is nearly raped by her young male friends on a dare, she leaves that experience breaking her attacker's nose with the aid of her older brother, vowing to never exact revenge and studying men as a trauma response--a way of always being in control. All throughout her formative years she maintains an emotional distance from the partners in her life as a way of protecting herself, but in doing so she becomes emotionally distant from even herself. Fast forward to the present day, she is a costume designer in Los Angeles working in TV and film, her friend Belinda a hair dresser. They're close on the surface but not really--for much of the story they keep huge secrets from and simultaneously isolate each other until their increasingly intensifying situations force them to actually share these vulnerable things with one another instead of the dangerous men in their lives, but by then it's too late.
Belinda in contrast to Sara grew up in a very rigid unsafe home environment with a controlling and domineering father. She gets pregnant at 16 and her father forces her to carry the baby to term and put it up for adoption. It's a traumatic experience that's held against her for the rest of her father's natural life, so much so that his last words to her were to remind her of the sin she committed against him. Her lovestarved people pleasing nature leaves her vulnerable to predatory men, something Sara scoffs at for much of the early book. Belinda has a miscarriage after a one sided exploitative relationship with a still married producer, another thing her friend lowkey kinda judges her for. "Couldn't be me"!-- Sara in contrast thinks her emotional unavailability makes her immune and impenetrable to being exploited by men---it does not. She is emotionally and sexually unfulfilled in her relationships and spends much of her free time having fantasies about various scenarios where she is in control and able to lose her inhibitions truly in ways she is unable to with her partners past. It leaves her vulnerable to particular manipulations by men, case in point--a director she meets at a party she goes to with Belinda, Anthony Cole; a well known powerful director in her industry. She's put off balance by his intensity, and her cynicism about men immediately flies out the window when they go back to her place. After he shows her his HIV FREE card (yes, really), ends up sleeping with him. At first it's enjoyable to explore her deepest wildest fantasies, but the more their relationship goes on those fantasies stop being hers and start being fully and completely Anthony's wants and desires, each sexual encounter between them she loses more and more of herself in the relationship between them, to the point where she's his sexual and emotional slave to her own detriment.
A big theme throughout the book is the way unchecked trauma and unhealed wounds leave us vulnerable to toxic and exploitative relationships with unsafe people. Anthony immediately begins to test her boundaries with him, soon after the two of them sleep together he confesses to still seeing other women and being in a relationship with one--something Sara is rightfully angry and upset about, and something he immediately shames her for. The insidiousness of it creeps throughout the story with Sara, she tolerates this dynamic--and little by little throughout the book he's exacting control over her, through increasingly brazen ways, first her giving up a job to follow him to Paris on a movie shoot he was working on (that he invited her to and then shamed her for going to when he begins to play his mind games on her) as well as manipulating and gaslighting her into sexual power dynamics she isn't actually okay with that get increasingly more intense--pushing her boundaries further and further. Their relationship is exploitative and one sided despite Anthony's insistence *she* is in control, Anthony expects Sara to be constantly sexually available, trusting and always willing to go along with her limits being pushed further and further, each time she does so a piece of her is whittled away. There is no romance here, this is a man trying to exact dominance and control over a woman he thinks is too independent for her own good. There is no real emotional intimacy between them, he immediately leaves after their sexual encounters with zero aftercare and only seems to be interested in or care about her inner life when he wants to have some kind of sexual access to her.
Belinda, conversely in the story seeks spiritual guidance from a famous cult leader who lovebombs her into trusting him before violently raping her. The story contrasts these two women's experiences with these men with obvious power dynamics between the two (Phillippe and Belinda being one of student/teacher and Anthony/Sara being that of Anthony being a famous well connected director in the industry and Sara being a costume designer) and the similarities between these women and the ways their wounds make them particularly vulnerable to these predatory men targeting those wounds like sharks smelling blood in the water. The way unsafe people will coerce or manipulate you into doing things you wouldn't have otherwise done had you understood the entirety of the situation. This culminates in both Belinda's and Sara's violent sexual assaults and betrayals by these men whom they trusted. That these two women, despite their different upbringings and temperments both have wounds and vulnerabilities that unsafe men fully exploited for their own benefit.
Bondage is not a perfect story by any means and the writing can be clunky a lot of the time, but there are things we can learn about ourselves in the themes the author is trying to get across in the dual perspectives of Sara and Belinda, the ways we navigate our relationships with ourselves and others through the lens of our trauma. The emotional bondage some of us can find ourselves in if we are not careful and discerning with who we let into our heads and our hearts. As someone who was in a narcissistic relationship there is catharsis in the ending where Sara exacts her revenge on Anthony for violating and humiliating her, a catharsis that real victims of narcissistic abuse never really get, and I think there is some value in that catharsis for survivors. Seeing women's white hot rage, anger and violence exacted against her abuser can be a rarity in a lot of stories. It is a messy book, with messy themes---but the author does manage to handle those themes a lot better than most and make something thought provoking about power dynamics, rape culture, abuse, trauma, spiritual abuse and exploitation and even pathological narcissism in men as early as the mid 90s. It's not perfect but I went away with a lot of thoughts after reading.
Anyway, A summary:
The story itself is told from two perspectives, mostly Sara--sarcastic, guarded, cynical towards men, and occasionally; Belinda--sullen, timid, lovestarved & constantly in one sided exploitative dynamics with men. It starts with Sara's childhood growing up in a well adjusted family with her older brother Mark in the San Fernando Valley. After a formative traumatic event where Sara is nearly raped by her young male friends on a dare, she leaves that experience breaking her attacker's nose with the aid of her older brother, vowing to never exact revenge and studying men as a trauma response--a way of always being in control. All throughout her formative years she maintains an emotional distance from the partners in her life as a way of protecting herself, but in doing so she becomes emotionally distant from even herself. Fast forward to the present day, she is a costume designer in Los Angeles working in TV and film, her friend Belinda a hair dresser. They're close on the surface but not really--for much of the story they keep huge secrets from and simultaneously isolate each other until their increasingly intensifying situations force them to actually share these vulnerable things with one another instead of the dangerous men in their lives, but by then it's too late.
Belinda in contrast to Sara grew up in a very rigid unsafe home environment with a controlling and domineering father. She gets pregnant at 16 and her father forces her to carry the baby to term and put it up for adoption. It's a traumatic experience that's held against her for the rest of her father's natural life, so much so that his last words to her were to remind her of the sin she committed against him. Her lovestarved people pleasing nature leaves her vulnerable to predatory men, something Sara scoffs at for much of the early book. Belinda has a miscarriage after a one sided exploitative relationship with a still married producer, another thing her friend lowkey kinda judges her for. "Couldn't be me"!-- Sara in contrast thinks her emotional unavailability makes her immune and impenetrable to being exploited by men---it does not. She is emotionally and sexually unfulfilled in her relationships and spends much of her free time having fantasies about various scenarios where she is in control and able to lose her inhibitions truly in ways she is unable to with her partners past. It leaves her vulnerable to particular manipulations by men, case in point--a director she meets at a party she goes to with Belinda, Anthony Cole; a well known powerful director in her industry. She's put off balance by his intensity, and her cynicism about men immediately flies out the window when they go back to her place. After he shows her his HIV FREE card (yes, really), ends up sleeping with him. At first it's enjoyable to explore her deepest wildest fantasies, but the more their relationship goes on those fantasies stop being hers and start being fully and completely Anthony's wants and desires, each sexual encounter between them she loses more and more of herself in the relationship between them, to the point where she's his sexual and emotional slave to her own detriment.
A big theme throughout the book is the way unchecked trauma and unhealed wounds leave us vulnerable to toxic and exploitative relationships with unsafe people. Anthony immediately begins to test her boundaries with him, soon after the two of them sleep together he confesses to still seeing other women and being in a relationship with one--something Sara is rightfully angry and upset about, and something he immediately shames her for. The insidiousness of it creeps throughout the story with Sara, she tolerates this dynamic--and little by little throughout the book he's exacting control over her, through increasingly brazen ways, first her giving up a job to follow him to Paris on a movie shoot he was working on (that he invited her to and then shamed her for going to when he begins to play his mind games on her) as well as manipulating and gaslighting her into sexual power dynamics she isn't actually okay with that get increasingly more intense--pushing her boundaries further and further. Their relationship is exploitative and one sided despite Anthony's insistence *she* is in control, Anthony expects Sara to be constantly sexually available, trusting and always willing to go along with her limits being pushed further and further, each time she does so a piece of her is whittled away. There is no romance here, this is a man trying to exact dominance and control over a woman he thinks is too independent for her own good. There is no real emotional intimacy between them, he immediately leaves after their sexual encounters with zero aftercare and only seems to be interested in or care about her inner life when he wants to have some kind of sexual access to her.
Belinda, conversely in the story seeks spiritual guidance from a famous cult leader who lovebombs her into trusting him before violently raping her. The story contrasts these two women's experiences with these men with obvious power dynamics between the two (Phillippe and Belinda being one of student/teacher and Anthony/Sara being that of Anthony being a famous well connected director in the industry and Sara being a costume designer) and the similarities between these women and the ways their wounds make them particularly vulnerable to these predatory men targeting those wounds like sharks smelling blood in the water. The way unsafe people will coerce or manipulate you into doing things you wouldn't have otherwise done had you understood the entirety of the situation. This culminates in both Belinda's and Sara's violent sexual assaults and betrayals by these men whom they trusted. That these two women, despite their different upbringings and temperments both have wounds and vulnerabilities that unsafe men fully exploited for their own benefit.
Bondage is not a perfect story by any means and the writing can be clunky a lot of the time, but there are things we can learn about ourselves in the themes the author is trying to get across in the dual perspectives of Sara and Belinda, the ways we navigate our relationships with ourselves and others through the lens of our trauma. The emotional bondage some of us can find ourselves in if we are not careful and discerning with who we let into our heads and our hearts. As someone who was in a narcissistic relationship there is catharsis in the ending where Sara exacts her revenge on Anthony for violating and humiliating her, a catharsis that real victims of narcissistic abuse never really get, and I think there is some value in that catharsis for survivors. Seeing women's white hot rage, anger and violence exacted against her abuser can be a rarity in a lot of stories. It is a messy book, with messy themes---but the author does manage to handle those themes a lot better than most and make something thought provoking about power dynamics, rape culture, abuse, trauma, spiritual abuse and exploitation and even pathological narcissism in men as early as the mid 90s. It's not perfect but I went away with a lot of thoughts after reading.
October 18, 2007
Honestly, I wasn't expecting much - I had designated this as "recreational reading", but it delivered more than recreation. The author (Ron & Nancy Reagan's daughter) seems to be well versed in the emotional, mental, and psychic aspects of power, control, and cult abuse. This was an absorbing read.
June 1, 2009
This writer draws interesting parallels between a woman's sadomasochistic relationship with a man, and her friends consequent rape by a public figure. Thought provoking...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 2, 2011
As the title suggests, this is about bondage. I learned about sexual tension from this book. Was eye opening for a 18 year old.
October 5, 2024
This was just not really a book for me.
March 14, 2018
"Sara never meant to lost control. In all her relationships before Anthony, she had always been the seducer. She had call the shots. Set the rules. Dominated.
"So when exactly did she let go? When did he become the conqueror, she the slave? Whenever it happened, she knew it was too late now. Sex -- the game she played best, the game at which she was master -- suddenly had a whole new set of rules. It was, Sara thought, like having to start all over again ...
"...
"Sara is a child of California, grown up and grown old at age thirty-five as only a woman could who has lived so much in so short a time. A costume designer for movies and television, it is through work that she meets her best friend, Belinda, a very vulnerable and needy young woman who envies Sara her ease with her own sexuality, her ability to dominate and control the men who want her.
"Sara has never questioned sex or her own sexuality. She likes it, is comfortable with it, and uses it whenever she wants. She begins and ends relationships with ease, taking what enjoyment she can before going on to the next. Then she meets Anthony, the hot new director of the moment. With him she begins a relationship that propels her into uncharted territories and that ultimately threatens to consume her ...
"... a novel for the '90s that is shocking and startling, yet speaks to the hidden desires of women and men. It is a novel about a new kind of sexuality, at once a thriller and a dark love story."
~~front & back flaps
That description does NOT reveal the thrust of the book, which was equating a BDSM relationship with cults and rape. It was a difficult read, and not particularly well written.
"So when exactly did she let go? When did he become the conqueror, she the slave? Whenever it happened, she knew it was too late now. Sex -- the game she played best, the game at which she was master -- suddenly had a whole new set of rules. It was, Sara thought, like having to start all over again ...
"...
"Sara is a child of California, grown up and grown old at age thirty-five as only a woman could who has lived so much in so short a time. A costume designer for movies and television, it is through work that she meets her best friend, Belinda, a very vulnerable and needy young woman who envies Sara her ease with her own sexuality, her ability to dominate and control the men who want her.
"Sara has never questioned sex or her own sexuality. She likes it, is comfortable with it, and uses it whenever she wants. She begins and ends relationships with ease, taking what enjoyment she can before going on to the next. Then she meets Anthony, the hot new director of the moment. With him she begins a relationship that propels her into uncharted territories and that ultimately threatens to consume her ...
"... a novel for the '90s that is shocking and startling, yet speaks to the hidden desires of women and men. It is a novel about a new kind of sexuality, at once a thriller and a dark love story."
~~front & back flaps
That description does NOT reveal the thrust of the book, which was equating a BDSM relationship with cults and rape. It was a difficult read, and not particularly well written.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 5, 2008
Bondage by Patti Davis (Ron and Nancy Reagan's daughter) was given it as a gift in 2000 and never read it. It had some light bondage in it. It wasn't horrible. But it isn't a book I would read again or keep on my bookshelf.
Basic plot Sarah is has built up lots of walls around herself so that when she enters a relationship she controls it - she decides where it will go and what she will feel and how it will end. And then she meets Anthony and everything changes. He seems to be able break those walls down and crawl into her head and create her thoughts and feelings. I liked some of the descriptions of how he made her feel. But over all it was kind of a boring read.
Basic plot Sarah is has built up lots of walls around herself so that when she enters a relationship she controls it - she decides where it will go and what she will feel and how it will end. And then she meets Anthony and everything changes. He seems to be able break those walls down and crawl into her head and create her thoughts and feelings. I liked some of the descriptions of how he made her feel. But over all it was kind of a boring read.
June 15, 2013
I expected so much more from this book. It started out good & when I thought it would start to get really good, it fizzled out. It is a good drama, the storyline is a good one, yet everything was just mediocre. I did not care for the ending at all and saw a lot of places where the author could have developed the relationships, scenarios and situations into so much more than she did.
September 3, 2023
This is a very bizarre book. I randomly picked it up at a used bookstore and gave it a shot. I don't think I'd recommend it. Although if you're looking to expand your sexual life, and explore some new, strange areas with that...then...maybe this is a good one for you!
October 14, 2012
I was reminded of the Shades of Grey when reading this book. Wasn't quite the storyline I had anticipated though and I certainly didn't end up with the warm fuzzies I'm accustomed to. Just goes to show you though, all fantasies don't have fairy tale endings!
July 28, 2008
pageturner.
August 22, 2009
I read this book hoping it would be about BDSM, but instead it was about emotional bondage. It was interesting. But not really my average 'Thing'
Read
March 16, 2012Save yourself the trouble, the most exciting element in this book is its title.
February 19, 2013
best book ever read it twice very very good book its on my must read list for my friends
September 16, 2013
Shhh, can u keep a secret?? I read this when I was 11, maybe 12. It was soooo hot!! OMG!! It makes Shades look like a practice exercise!
October 18, 2013
This was okay but definitely left me wanting more. The end seemed quite contrived and unsatisfactory but I didn't hate it.
October 27, 2013
Predictable and dated. Mediocre sex scenes.
February 11, 2015
It was so many years ago since I've read this book (1990's)
Well written, because I finished it in a short time.
Maybe it's time to re-read this one.
Well written, because I finished it in a short time.
Maybe it's time to re-read this one.
Read
June 27, 2022I GOT THIS FROM A LITTLE FREE LIBRARY AND HAD NO IDEA A) IT WAS GOING TO BE SO FUCKED UP AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY; AND B) IT WAS WRITTEN BY RON AND NANCY REAGAN'S DAUGHTER
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews