Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Companion to the Inner Worlds

by Deena Metzger

In the tradition of Annie Dillard and Natalie Goldberg, this resource for writers and non-writers alike shows the act of writing to be a dynamic means of knowing, healing, and creating the body, mind, and spirit.

Genres: Writing, Nonfiction, Self Help, Journaling, Memoir, Psychology, Reference

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 20, 1992

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pros:

-This book has some of the most creative and deepest writing prompts I've ever experienced.
-Those who follow the writing exercises will derive both personal and professional insight.
-This book can be used by writers of all levels.

Cons:
-The author disses "genre" writing--particularly horror and romance--as lacking inner truth. Sure, there is genre writing that is purely commercial entertainment, but there are many exceptions (the work of Stephen King, Philip K. Dick, Audrey Niffenegger, Dodie Smith, China Mieville, Neil Gaiman and--yes!--Jane Austen). And there are many "literary" novels that I'd argue are heartless.
-The author has a very particular slant (politically liberal agenda with slightly new-agey overtones) that did not jive with me, and may turn off some other readers.
-The book is not evenly balanced in the kinds of advice it gives. When it says, "Discovering the Story of Your Life's Journey," it really means that narrow a topic. A newer writer will certainly need additional guidance in plotting, prewriting, research, and the like. I'd recommend for this purpose books on writing by Orson Scott Card and Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm uncertain how this book came into my possession, but possess it, I do. Tucked within its pages, I found an old receipt and the faded ink tells me that it was bought at McKay Books in Nashville, in 2007. My first trip to Nashville wasn't until 2010, and I did go to McKay's, but not in 2007. In any case, I needed to read this book, this year.

After going through a traumatic health emergency and incurring great loss, I need to heal. And this book shares a process on how to do that through writing. I've written as a personal hobby my whole life (and I value reading equally) so I'm familiar with how writing can inform and heal a person, myself.

Because this book is written by a therapist/poet/healer, it asks us to delve into the depths of the soul. The answers come from there, those depths, the soul.

The exercises take you deep, and honestly, I did not engage in all of them because they required time and deep digging that I wasn't ready to do just yet. However, with the exercises I did participate in, I gained some freedom and quite a bit of insight. The exercises encouraged me to turn to my creativity, which has mostly been dormant in my daily life. These exercises awakened this dormant creativity within me so that it initially wobbled around on shaky legs as it got practice and engaged with more frequently, it eventually danced around, gliding gracefully sometimes or bouncing sharply to bass beats only it could hear.

For example, the exercise "Write 'Things I didn't know I loved'" coaxed from me the thought, "the freedom of walking around naked in a sun flooded apartment that was all mine." And that thought, about my apartment in NYC, that it was all mine, is what I was longing for on the drive to the city, to the ocean. What I felt extreme loss over, what brought tears to my eyes when I thought of it. My NYC apartment. The only space that has truly ever been all mine. Now it is no longer mine and not by my choice and so the loss arose and I felt it and engaged with it in order to slowly release one of the many losses I incurred last year.

The higher self is wise. When my past self saw this book and held onto it, it had a knowing that my future self would find strength, healing, and liberation through it.

Some exercises and quotes that have encourage me in my writing and in my life:

- With automatic writing, the task is to write faster than you can think. Allow the words to appear on the page at fandom, to flow haphazardly. When a familiar word comes into your mind, see if you can write down another one. Write so quickly and so randomly that finally you overcome reason, sense, grammar, form, and above all, meaning. p. 25

- When you think you have nothing to say, when your life feels dull and tedious, try writing: Things I didn't see today. p.30

- Write "Things I didn't know I loved." p. 30

- "Often we do not know who we are or who we can be until we are reduced to the essentials. Without this knowledge, we can never know our complete story. When we understand ourselves on this level, it's possible to address that ultimate and most important question: Now, what do I love?" Make a list of what you love, and then create a portrait of a person from these details. p. 72-73

- Writing "Things I love" can be a useful meditation, to be repeated frequently. p. 73

- Arrange or rearrange your work space and desk with carefully chosen books and images so that you have a view and places for contemplation, reading, and hard work. p. 82

- What does the writer in you need? What has he been longing for? This is the time to do what you have little time for in daily life--the hikes you've been planning, the music you've wanted to study, the letter you want to answer. You can arrange the day to accommodate several passions--meditation, studying a new language, yoga, wandering in the woods or on unfamiliar streets, planting bulbs, writing letters, exploring with a camera, making masks, drawing. In this way, you frame the writing time with other pursuits...Awake at dawn, watch the sun descend, follow the waxing and waning of the moon. Greet the stars. Whistle to the mockingbirds. Consult the I Ching, the runes, or Taro, read tea leaves, find the auguries in clouds. Light candles. Build a fire. Learn the language of birds, animals, and tress. Pray. Write and write and write. p. 82-83

- What is the story and meaning of your name? How has the story of your name affected you? Are you living out its story? p. 169

- If you had to locate yourself on a landscape at this moment, what would be the geographic equivalent of your state of mind? What story emerges from this location? p. 169

- "Here are some of the elements that you will find as you investigate the myth's basic structure: the call; setting out; becoming lost; encountering nature; purifying oneself; sacrifice; making an offering; encountering a stranger or an animal; posing a riddle or answering one; being tested; enduring an ordeal; crossing an impossible barrier; overcoming an enemy; descent into the underworld; finding what one is seeking; epiphany; transformation; blessing; bringing back something; return." Take each of the elements in turn. How has each one figures in your life? Over time, write a story regarding each one of them. Then bring the different parts together. All these elements, taken together, comprise a metamyth" the archetypal journey of transformation. Combining them, you will have structured your own myth, and you may also have laid the foundation for a larger work. p. 172

- Like those who went with us to Greece, you can find these states of descent and return--for each of us is familiar with them--within yourself, can see how you have lived the myth in your own life, and then write about it:
I am abducted [to Hades].
I am separated [from the mother].
I am grieving [for the daughter].
I am in the dark.
I am barren.
I embrace death.
I am fertile.
I am reunited [with different parts of myself].
There is light. p. 178-79

- "Of course, not every writer looks at creativity as a spiritual discipline, and indeed, not every person or artist is interested in such a practice. But for those who are, writing becomes another kind of activity altogether, and its effect depends not upon the product--the finished piece--or on the consequences--accomplishment, recognition, remuneration--but upon the process with which the written word is pursued." p. 187

- "The approach can be both simple and careful. We try to come to the desk as to an altar. We take the phone off the hook. We may light a candle or bring in a flower, just as one readies the temple before prayer. The door is closed or the windows are opened. Each of these small activities focuses our awareness on what we are about to undertake. The moment of entrance into the sacred world is negotiated slowly. Each word is taken in as a holy object for which one is grateful. Its meanings are not apparent; it opens itself gradually, the lotus of many secrets, or burns with the sacred fire.
Pursued in this manner, through the practiced willingness to see and then to believe what we see, the creative can bridge the gap between the inner and the public worlds, between daily life and the world of spirit. And if, then, our small heart opens--opens to others, to the natural world, to wonder and awe--then the vision, the work of art, the image, the poem may appear in that flash of light, that moment of kensho, or in the still, small voice of the heart of the universe itself coming to meet us." p. 188

- "About meditation it is said, when sitting, simply sit, simply breathe. Then, when writing, simply write, allow the word. After sitting one sometimes studies the teachings, just as after simply writing one may study the work that has been done. But in the beginning, open the door, write, and accept what comes." Meditate for a few minutes until you are calm. Write for the same length of time. Meditate again. Write again. Meditate again. Write again. Let the silence refresh you. allow the silence to enter the piece. Discover what can emerge from this emptiness. p. 192

- What questions do you pose to yourself? What questions would inform the work you are doing What questions follow from these? What intuitions do you have? What is driving you? What fascinates and obsesses you? What is your particular understanding? What is being revealed to you? What puzzles you?
What questions might you ask of yourself and of your work?
"And the question we have been asking again and again and must continue to ask:"
What is it you have been given to say? p. 198-99

- "Perhaps you can't remember your dreams. Perhaps you haven't kept a dream journal. Well, then, this is a time to begin. Put a beautiful book by your bedside, a book that announces itself as the proper container for such material, and turn to it immediately upon awakening. There you can record your dreams, whatever you remember, even the fragments, the fleeting images, the faint scent of dream left on the night air." p. 222

- "We are always at the edge of our lives. Writing can be the safety net into which we leap when we are jumping off the cliff into the unknown. But there comes a time when we must become the daredevil and remove the net. This is the moment when we jump, not onto the page but into our own lives. Not only to write about it but to live it. In the beginning, to write it in order to live it, and then, perhaps, to live and then write it, or at some point not to write it at all so as to live it fully. Or to live it and to write it as one action, as one practice. To live it because ultimately our life, ephemeral though it is, is the only art piece that matters.
And to live it is to claim it, no matter what it is. Not to fix it, not to alter it, not to make it something else or someone else's, simply again and again to explore it, to come to know it, to be trusted to enter into its secret recesses, and then to live it whole, wholeheartedly, from the heart. That's all there is, really." p. 248

-"Love is the very heart of beauty. Love had created this landscape. Love was manifested here in the earth and stone. Skill, technology, aesthetics, mind cannot achieve such radiance. The world is not a separate object but the living manifestation of a love so profound it requires form. Love and form are not distinct from each other but are different faces of the divine presence.
I changed my meditative practice accordingly. After a period of stillness, I began to focus on the heart. No action taken, no word spoken, no writing initiated, no healing attempted without asking for my heart to open. Nothing that did not come out of love. Not an instant to be lived without attending to the heart. Nothing without the heart and nothing that did not serve the heart." p. 253

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! Nearly every line is quotable about the power of story to expand our awareness and our lives, how our life is lived out as part of archetypal myths. She touches on all the important things that inspire us to write--creativity, growth, transformation, digging deep into our souls for the wisdom that is hidden. Read it for the first time, read it again. It will fill your soul.

[Adriana Diaz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a writer's resource for a lifetime. Deena Metzler is, first of all, a great writer, and a therapist (a Jungian, I think) so her presentation of archetypal material and perspectives is important for those who have never heard of Campbell, or Jung, himself.
The exercises are excellent. They are things for people who are serious about writing and about personal growth. The exercises are also often illustrated by works of her students.
There is a downside to this book, and that's why I haven't given it 5 stars. My criticism has nothing to do with the author or the material, it is a serious shortcoming of the publisher and the editor of this book. There has no index of exercises, and the layout practically hides the exercises within the dense text. Also, I thought that the whole section on the nature of story and myth, which comes more or less in the center of he book, could have been a separate book, or perhaps an Appendix. Also, the book cover doesn't do justice to the quality of the book.
This is a book that will stay out in my house. It will get a lot of use both personally, and in my classes.

[Abner Rosenweig · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd been stalled in an enormous writing block and bought this book along with several others in hopes of getting unstuck. Not only did Ms. Metzger's soothing prose help unstick me, I was stunned to find inside her book a great deal about story and myth, some of the wisest, most lucid, most beautiful exposition on the subjects I've read anywhere. The book's medicine worked. It helped me to feel comfortable and safe again navigating the daunting solitary path of the writer's life. For me, the weakest parts of the book were the excerpts from student writing and the odd digressive tangents on which female writing often wanders. However, the excerpts did serve to remind me that writing is accessible to everyone, that one should focus on the journey rather than any targeted ambitious result, and that when we sit quietly and get out of our own way, some truly authentic, beautiful words can emerge. This is a travelogue of the genuine writer's path, one to which I will refer frequently.

[Joel Friedlander · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is partly a writing instruction book that relies on Deena Metzger's deep insight into human psychology and part self-therapy. Following her exercises is an incredible opportunity for any writer to "go deeper" on the themes and stories that are the most meaningful for us. While some of the later chapters didn't interest me as much, working through her writing prompts lead me to many marvelous and unsuspected insights and stories.

Highly recommended.

[Early]

Deena was my mentor and neighbor for several years. I know most of the stories in this book from having been in her class in the 1980's Excellent for the writer's library, be she new or seasoned.

[Ronna Jevne & Harold Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has survived the test of time. I still recommend it if people can access it. It's message is timeless, the exercises reflective, and the wisdom enduring. The publication of this book was long before narrative therapy was popular yet the chapter on story is the best I have read in three decades. I love the beginning exercise: "Imagine that your are at the end of your life. Without hesitating, without thinking, record the story you have lived in five sentences." The writing exercises Metzger proposes invite us to explore the many dimensions of our story. She accurately points out that the exploration of self and as a writer are inexplicably interwoven. So, if you are a writer, here's a great way of looking into your inner author. If you reason for reading this book is to deepen your self-understanding, you will not be disappointed.

[Tsehai Essie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent insights for writers willing to journey to the depths and heights of the inner worlds to bring back treasures clothed in words. Deena illuminates those worlds and calls from within, as a guide and beckoning assurance, that although arduous, you can trust the deep process of writing and know that the journey is well worth it. I used this in my classrooms with aspiring young writers with beautiful results.

[Hafsa]

This book is help us for many types of problems in life..

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just not what I needed right now. The exercises are great when you need to unlock writers block.

[Thea Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ll be raving about this book until my dying breath.

[Leanne Albillar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mixed feelings about this book. I liked the first section a lot and found it helpful, but the rest was too heavy into spiritualism for me personally

[Mari Mann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was recently given a large stack of books about writing. They were given to me by a used bookstore owner who was told by the person that gave them to him, to give them to "someone special". As a writer, that person was me. They were all previously owned by the same person and this person underlined a lot and wrote little comments like "Yes!" and "Aha!" in the margins. When I first began reading these books, the heavy use of underlining was a bit irritating, but as I come to the end of the stack, I find my self reading something and wondering what the previous owner thought about what was written. Why did they underline this and not that? Why did this line merit a "Yes!" but that line got nothing? Was this person a writer? Or someone who wanted to write but instead of actually writing, just read books about writing? I wonder what other books this person had on their shelves and how, and who, gave these books away? Here is an underlined paragraph from this book: "I think of all of these writers as my teachers, as part of my lineage. This one has taught me about the light and this one about the dark. This one takes me to ecstasy, and that one teaches stillness and solitude. This one is street smart, shows me the ropes, while this one tracks bear, tills the land, and teaches me the names of birds." Aha!

[Heidi Draffin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have purchased eight or nine copies of this book over the years to give to friends, knowing how hard it is to act on other people's reading suggestions. It is hard not to want to spend time with the author, walking with her thoughts. She feels like someone I'd be glad dropped by and stayed for dinner. She did stay in my thoughts and is there whenever I need a wise friend so to speak with. The writing exercise "Things I didn't know I loved" opened a portal for me and I stepped through. It was at once expiation and deep validation at a time I needed it. I suspect that every reader will find a different point of contact with Metzger. She has a lot to say about being alive all the way.

[HeavyReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read some of this book when I lived in Austin. I even did some writing exercises from this book and really liked the poems I ended up with. I don't remember why I lost interest in this book. I do know it sat on my shelf for a long, long time and at some point before I moved, I sold it or gave it away. I think that was a dumb move. I would like to have a copy of this book again.

[Phila Hoopes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book not for reading but for working...one to read and reread and follow step by step, engaging in writing not only as a path to greater self-knowledge, but also to fit one's personal story into a grander mosaic. Deena Metzger is a trailblazer on the sacred Way of Story for healing, community building and peacemaking, and this is her masterful guidebook.

[Shaktima Michele Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book inspired me to polish and publish my memoir. It is an invaluable tool to awaken creativity and dig deep in your own "larger story" (archetypes, fairy tales, myths). The author ends with a chapter on "Writing as a Spiritual Practice", a promise of fill your days with meaning.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recall finding this somewhat helpful in teaching, but I don't remember the specifics of the book. I will have to go dig it out of the basement.

[Diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good writing practices and exercises but kind of difficult to get into.

[Yaaresse · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went through a phase where I read a lot of books about storytelling and journaling, oral histories, etc. I remember this being one of the better books of that sort.

[Jean Marie Angelo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great ideas and excercises for those speaking their truth.

[S.S. Nightshade · Rating 5 out of 5]

For years I have speculated on developing my own teachings of this art. The stories and lessons in these pages resonate deeply with my inspirations and curiosities.

[Lisa]

Writing for Your Life : Discovering the Story of Your Life's Journey by Deena Metzger (1992)