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Better. Not Perfect: From Hot Mess To Life Success: A Woman’s Guide to Learning, Loving, and Being Herself, Unapologetically

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In this honest, down-to-earth examination of her own life, Dr. Shai shares her messes, her blessings, and the relatable experiences with self-esteem that can help women everywhere embrace all that life has to offer. From the good, the bad, and the ugly, nothing is truly imperfect.

A woman’s path to personal freedom is full of anxieties and missteps, but there’s something to be gained from every failure. Dr. Shai shows readers how to reflect and heal from the past. Those flaws don’t have to be permanent—rather, they can pave the way to something better. Every trial and tribulation is an opportunity to learn about your inner power and harness it in your pursuit of what you want to do and who you want to be.

Better, Not Perfect provides an earnest look into the steps you take from self-care to self-acceptance, as well as how these tips to living an authentic life can ultimately culminate in loving your true self.

137 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 14, 2023

2 people are currently reading
6 people want to read

About the author

Brooklyn born, (Red Hook Projects to be precise), to keep it factual and paint a visual, I lived there "Pre-Ikea." Better. Not Perfect tells the story of one girl's journey from trauma to triumph, with a whole lot of messy in between. The triumph isn't in reaching perfection, the triumph is in rejecting the notion and fallacy of perfection.

From the early days of teen mom and college failure to the present-day C-Suite executive with a doctoral degree in law and policy, that alone is quite a tale within itself. Add to it, the story of addiction at the top of my game, and the trip to rehab to save my life, well then you have, a transparent, self-tell-all that was written to be a roadmap to freedom for others who failed early, decided to never fail again, and then realized that failing is a requirement of life, BUT not in insurmountable fact.

Just like the saying "none of us makes it out of this thing called life, alive"; none of us makes it out without failing sometimes. However, how we fail (forward, sideways, or backwards) does not dictate how we end. It's the getting up, getting help, and getting "Better" that truly defines who we are and how we end.

I (Dr. Shai) tell that story and offer hope to those who find the courage to "exchange acceptance for purpose."

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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
Profile Image for Nicole DamaPoleto.
49 reviews
March 8, 2023
I had tears in my eyes, laughter in my throat and warmth in my heart listening to this book. It’s a quick but powerful listen. Dr. Butler shares her story with wisdom, gratitude and a vulnerability that gets you choked up. This book is probably going to become my personality for a minute because it was so powerful to me. I knew Shai as a college administrator but I learned so much more here. I’m grateful for her sharing her story and herself with this world. I love the activities for reflection at the close of each chapter and I know this will be a book I recommend to every woman I know on a journey to healing.
Profile Image for Arianna Bullock.
38 reviews
April 20, 2023
The transparency of Dr. Shai is nothing less than AMAZING! Hearing her narrate her truth is encouraging and healing! This is a reminder to continue to strive for better and not perfect!
Profile Image for Dora Okeyo.
Author 25 books202 followers
December 28, 2023
I love such personal accounts from Black women, and I believe that more and more should publish their stories and send out all that energy into the world, because what I got from this book is that you can always start again. Not one situation in life is permanent, and your opinion changes just as much as other people's opinions of you-what counts though is what you think of yourself and what you want to pursue.
Thanks Netgalley for the eARC.
2 reviews
February 1, 2025
Excellent Read

Dr. Butler combines personal stories with sage advice. She invites you in and builds you up all at the same time!
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
362 reviews4 followers
June 4, 2025
While I enjoyed reading the very personal retelling of Dr Butlers life, it was less of a “guide” for women and more of a story demonstrating resilience and humanity.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews

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