The Gift Giver: A True Story

by Jennifer Hawkins

The sudden loss of her husband empowers a young widow to open herself to a path of true acceptance.

An accomplished athlete, businesswoman, and mother, author Jennifer Hawkins believes she has everything, until one morning she wakes up to find her husband’s lifeless body lying in their bed. Shaken to the core of her being, Jennifer struggles to put her shattered world back together, rebalancing relationships with friends, family, and her own children as she comes to grips with the vacuum created by the loss of her husband.

Jennifer teeters on the brink of despair, until she hears a voice--a voice she never thought she would hear again. It is the voice of her husband, who in six simple words tells her of the tragedy that would have occurred had he stayed--how his leaving saved a life, one whose loss would have had ripple effects that were inconceivable.

Few memoirs deliver such an inspirational message of loss and redemption, of sorrow, mercy, and reawakening. Jennifer’s story proves that love never dies. It only becomes more powerful as it bridges the gap between our world and the vast, nurturing universe that lies beyond.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

267 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 25, 2011

About the author

Librarian Note:
There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Jennifer Hawkins grew up in Southern California. For more than a decade, she was a competitive swimmer, earning a spot at the Olympic trials in 1988. In 1991, she moved to Texas where she became a successful realtor, investor, and author. In 2000, she met her husband Mark and soon after started a family.

Jennifer still lives in Texas with her two boys, Connor and Brannon, and the many friends that add richness to her life every day.

Reviews

[Jennifer Hawkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote it so I guess I'm a little biased. (smile)

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m trying to find the right words to describe how I felt about this book. It wouldn’t seem quite right to say that I enjoyed it. Who can enjoy a book in which the author details her experience in having to somehow find a way to bear the unbearable? It’s thought-provoking and sob-inducing in equal measure, a book about finding a way to move on in the face of the devastating, the heartbreaking and the unexplainable.

I started to read The Gift Giver while lying in bed beside my sleeping husband, who had turned in for the night ahead of me. Reading about how the author woke up one morning to find that her husband, Mark, had died in his sleep was… uncomfortable, to say the least. I was crying snottily through those first few chapters about the unimaginably awful, compelled to turn over and cuddle up to the snoring man beside me roughly every minute as I did so.

The book focuses on how Hawkins starts to come to terms with the loss of her husband, trying to deal with her own grief while helping her two young children through their own and somehow keep their world together as far as possible. Without giving too much away, I’ll say that a central concept to this book is explained when Hawkins recalls a discussion with Mark about the idea that, in the instant before we die, we get to choose whether it will happen or whether we will stay alive. She describes how she comes to believe in this, and this belief helps her to accept and make sense of what has happened and carry on living herself.

The Gift Giver is not easy to categorize; there’s no obvious pigeon-hole to choose for this book that sits somewhere between memoir and self-help/inspirational, while reading almost like a novel. However, for someone like me who doesn’t subscribe to any particular religion or notion as to what happens to us after we die, it is a book that will leave you feeling comforted even as you reach for another stack of tissues to sob into. I’m not quite sure I’d go so far as to say “this is what I believe”, as Hawkins does in the opening pages of the book, but I know I believe in “something”, and (despite the chorus of “buts…” and “how comes…” my more rational mind will throw out there), Jennifer’s version of “something” might be as close to making sense of the senseless as I’m likely to find.

In short, this book is well-written and moving, and if you can brace yourself for the utter ruination of your mascara and have plenty of tissues on hand, I really would recommend it. My respect and best wishes go out to the author for being such an incredibly strong woman.

I won this book on a First Reads giveaway.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this from GoodReads, received it today and read it today. It's a pretty fast read if you get into it. I cried through most of the book so it is a draining read. I'm on the fence still absorbing this book. Either you sit through it in disbelief that her husband can communicate so much with her from beyond or you feel comforted that this isn't the end. My husband's father died in his forties so I think in the back of my mind, I'm often concerned that something will take my husband too early so I connected with this book. My kids are the same ages as Jennifer's in the story too which was a little too eerie for me. I was both disappointed and happy that David and Jennifer didn't end up together in the end since that would've been a little too Disney-esque of an ending for a book with so much emotion in it.

[Magda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was pleasantly surprised about this book and enjoyed it, my mom gave it to me and I really was not sure if I wanted to read about grief but it is more then just about loosing someone, it is also about how do you move forward. I like the way it is written; simple yet insightful language. There was something very soothing about this book.

[Carol Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a fast read, but very insightful when it comes to losing someone that you love. I lost my Mother a year ago and it made me laught and cry all at the same time. I have gone through some of the same emotions that the author has experienced, even though it wasn't a spouse. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is experience grief from a loss.

[Heidi Wiechert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jennifer Hawkins was able to take a horrific, life-changing event and turn it from a nightmare into a gift. Even if the reader doesn't believe that her husband was speaking to her from beyond the grave, if perhaps the trauma caused her to have a psychotic break of some kind, it is undeniable that the voice she was hearing brought her comfort and understanding in her grief.

Some of the moments that Jennifer relates in The Gift Giver stretched my imagination- such as the day that she was experiencing sorrow and was unable to figure out its cause and the voice told her that that particular day (if her husband hadn't died) would have been the day that another terrible event would have befallen her. There will never be a way that she could prove or disprove this, but again, it brought her comfort in a dark moment. Who's to say that this defense mechanism, if it wasn't actually her husband communicating with her beyond the grave (just to play devil's advocate, for a moment), wasn't the best thing for her healing at that time. She related in her memoir that she was in professional counseling so I don't believe that she was a danger to herself or others. Jennifer was also fortunate to have supportive family members who didn't dismiss her communications with her dead husband, but allowed her to share those feelings and experiences in a safe manner.

I'd be curious to read a follow up to this period in her life. Does she still hear the voice? Does Mark still assist her through difficult times?

The most compelling moment from this book for me was the chapter entitled The Flight (pg 189). During that interaction, Mark instructs Jennifer in the practice of mindfulness. It reminded me of the voice from Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations with God- an instructive, evolved being reaching across the void to provide insight and illumination. This brought up a lot of questions in my mind such as: When we die, do we all have those insights? Could we all, if we chose, improve the lives of the family that we leave behind if they and we were open to these types of communications? I think that Jennifer Hawkins demonstrates that not only is death the doorway to another type of existence, but that, if we keep an open mind and heart, that love can continue to be shared and provide positive growth to those left behind.

Readers who enjoyed The Gift Giver may also like Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch and Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani.

[Bunny]

**Originally posted on www.bunnycates.com**

Before I start out let me just say that I have always had a hard time reviewing non-fiction work. I am not sure why, but something about it not being “made up” makes it hard for me to form opinions on it. I mean, it HAPPENED. So, there ya go. LOL.

With that being said: a little warning on this book.

This book is sold as a non-fiction, true story, memoir. It is about a woman who loses her husband, and after his death hears his voice and continues to have conversations with him post mortem – which helps her deal with the aftermath of losing a spouse.

If you don’t believe in that type of thing and/or you are not open to the possibility of that, you probably shouldn’t read this book. It is not for you.

If you are open to the possibility of that, then DO read this book. It is beautiful. It is heart breaking. It is a blessing, and it is amazing. In truth, I think I started crying around page 20 and didn’t stop until the end of the book.

The Gift Giver: A True Story by Jennifer Hawkins is very well written, and the story just flows. I, the reader, felt like I knew these people. I wanted to be there for them, hug them, and see them get through this hardship. I thought it was very inspirational. In the end, it shows that through even the worst of circumstances – there will always be hope. Hope that even the “bad things” that happen have reason. Hope that those we care about know how much we love them. Hope that the things we do (and don’t do)…matter.

In Conclusion:
I thought this was an excellent read, but be warned…you WILL need kleenex.

[Gina]

I am reading this slowly as I tend to read many books at once, and also, this is a sad one so far, so I can only read so much at once.

Having gone farther, it just seems to remain too long in the immediate after-death phase. I think it gives an incredibly great insight into the reality of losing a cherished partner, but as mentioned above, it is hard to read because it's sad and a bit depressing. Lost my place, and in skimming to re-find it, I saw more sad/depressing stuff. There are little words of enlightenment scattered in, but overall...I don't know if I'll ever finish. Just depressing.

Feb 11, 2013
I picked this back up out of desperation...no good books at the moment. Little did I know, I had been on the cusp of things getting better. Now that there is a ray of light in this, I can enjoy the story for what it is. Not sure if this is a spoiler, trying not to be, but what happens is that Jennifer is given a gift: she is told the reason for her husband's death. Having that helps her to cope,and she begins to see little gifts everywhere...synchronicities, help from friends, her sons laughing. From there, there continues to be messages from Mark and coincidences that are just really neat. So it ends up being really touching and neat once you get past the part where it is nothing but depression.

The remainder of the books is kind of her life after Mark, and it is interesting. Neat family.

[Melissa Loomis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow - what an amazing memoir. I won this book from Goodreads.com and I'm so happy that I did. I don't think this book would have caught my interest otherwise based on the nature of what it is about. But, like I said - I'm so glad that I did because it is a true treasure of a book. The book is about a wife and mother of two young boys that loses her husband in his sleep and the terrible year afterwards. But as you read you find that it isn't as terrible as it seems because she feels her husband and hears his words and guidance of how to keep moving forward.
I lost my mom in 2007 after a three year battle with lung cancer but the day she died was unexpected. The day and days just after the author's husband's death mirrored my emotions exactly. It takes a lot to be able to put those emotions on paper. I hope that the author continues to pursue her writing and publish more books as she does have a gift.
I already passed this book on to friends and that is how I define this book as a must-read. It may not be for everyone, but anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one will probably relate. More importantly it is filled with positive attributes that we should all try to invest into our daily lives.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great, albeit sad, love story. The author has written what she believes to be a true account of her experiences after the loss of a loved one. Personally, I am not sure that I believe the experiences to have actually happened but I most certainly believe that they were very real for her. And, given how close they were, even if her subconscious was telling her what she wanted to hear, it was probably accurate.

I would be concerned with psychologically fragile folks reading this book. However, for stable readers, it could be a comforting source of insight into relationships when one partner dies abruptly.

It is also written in such a way that even if the reader's own faith experience doesn't include soul continuance after death, they could still find it a rewarding read by imagining it is fantasy if that makes them more comfortable.

Aside from the spiritual message "The Gift Giver" presents, there are very basic ideas about grief that are presented along with insights into coping mechanisms that would be of help to anyone experiencing loss.

[Angel Stuckey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A real tearjerker

When I first bought this book I was just reading it because I too lost my dad at a young age and I couldn't put it down and years went by my sister passed away and I decided to finish reading the book so glad that I did too

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent. A bit hard to get into at times but overall a good read.

[Cheyene Carlton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly disappointed l, it took me forever to finish because it was so drug out. I did love the ending but I found it really hard to finish. Also experiencing grief myself this book kind of made me angry/jealous because I am not able to have that connection the author does with her loved one. It was reading a diary of grief that I couldn’t relate to but do appreciate her sharing

[Nikkers · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful reminder of what is important and how much love we share

[C.E. Hart · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Gift Giver, by Jennifer Hawkins

Too much of a description will take away from the reading experience, so I’ll be brief.

This is a true story of tragedy, heartbreak, and inspiration. Jennifer’s story is told in a sensitive and honest way that I found stirring. Though some of the events are dismal and sorrowful, the message is still insightful and moving.

Pros: I like the simplicity and ease of the writer’s style. This story is easy to get lost in. It pricks the emotions, yet doesn’t wring them out of you for a shock-effect.

Cons: None.

Overall: This is a smoothly paced book with an inspirational story and message that will leave you changed.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Goodreads. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

[Tammy]

The Gift Giver is interesting and very well written. Having said that, it just isn't the book for me. I had to put it down several times and take a break before reading more. I do most of my reading in bed late at night, and I found it very hard to read about the death of Jennifer's husband while my own husband was sleeping right beside me. I can see how some may find the story comforting but for me it was just too depressing and a little creepy at times. I am a firm believer in heaven and I love the idea of our loved ones watching over us from above. I also know that I would be totally freaked out if one of my deceased loved ones contacted me! I witnessed the death of my father-in-law 3 years ago this month. He had a heart attack and was gone within minutes. He was only 65 years old. It was the worst thing that I have ever witnessed! I am still not fully recovered. I probably should not read anymore books about husbands dying, especially at a young age.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway. This was an easy book to read and my rating is a 3 1/2 stars. I found the message to be inspiring and I took away a renewed spirit of living the best we can each day as we never know what the future holds, nor should we dwell on the past. I admired Jennifer for her fortitude throughout her dealing with the loss of her husband, and while she often experienced great pain and loss, I didn't get the impression that she felt sorry for herself. She seemed to have a good support system of family and friends, and knew she needed to be strong for her boys. Jennifer also found great comfort in hearing and feeling the presence of her husband Mark. While she believed Mark was in heaven, I found no reference to her or her family having any basis in faith. I was drawn into the story of Jennifer and her boys and am glad they are choosing to live their lives fully.

[Michele Minor · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the true story of a young widow, whose husband died in his sleep. This tells how she copes with his death and raising two young boys on her own. One night while alone she hears her husband’s voice who tells her that if he had lived that another person would have died whose death would have caused dire consequences. Her late husband’s voice and the sense of his presence helps her to deal with his death. This book is unusual in that she hears the voice of someone close to her who died and she continues to hear his voice throughout the book. This is based on her experience though it is hard to believe that she hears her late husband’s voice when she needs it.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book through a Goodreads First Reads giveaway. While I have not lost someone in the capacity of what the author did, I really liked the book. It was a very quick read and contained many 'life lessons' that people should remember every day, not just in the wake of losing a loved one. While the premise of the story was sad, the messages were very enlightening, and ones that, myself included, sometimes people need to be reminded of. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants a little reminder of what living life is all about.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a True story of a young mother of two young boys and the sudden and unexpected loss of her husband. It deals with her experience from the moment seeing him lying dead in their bed all through the process of grieving, moving forward and ending at the year anniversary of his death.
You will find so much of this book sad but very inspiring, the love of friends and family ever present and her undying love for her husband; that transcends earthly bounds.
I suggest this to anyone who may have lost a loved one. I find it to be almost cleansing.

[Doris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well intentioned and sweet, but the "big reveal" of the reason her husband died (which comes from him three days *after* his death) is a let-down until it is explained, painfully slowly, throughout the rest of the book. I'm not a doubter that Jennifer communicated with her dead husband, and her skill at describing *how* she did saves the novel. Near the end, the story appeared to be going toward a "Happily Ever After" ending, and I won't give it away. Happily ever after is relative, after all.

Not my cup of tea, per se, but still not a bad effort at all.

[PRINCESS · Rating 4 out of 5]

What if you were to wake up one morning and find out that the person you were so close to without any notice, any goodbye, any message and no clue had died?
Her two sons came to their room and jump to the bed to awaken their dad and it was shocking for Jennifer Hawkins to find out that her husband body is lifeless. She began to question why it happened? Why he had to die? Why?
“The Gift Giver” is a true story of Jennifer Hawkins journey of finding the answer of valuing life and death.

[Sandy]

I really do believe in what Jennifer Hawkins has written here! I think one can "hear" the voice of someone who has passed. Her husband talks to her and explains the necessity of his death and the choice he actually had to make to protect his family. I really did enjoy this book.

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of The Gift Giver: A True Story through the Goodreads Giveaway program. This does not in any way affect my review of the novel.

I LOVED this book. I cried from the beginning when it was sad and smiled at the end. I admired her strength to continue and share her inside thoughts.

[Tamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from Good reads. I found this book to be well written, and very thought provoking especially since it is a true story. I want to hug the author and applaud her on her parenting skills.

[amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book in a goodreads first reads giveaway.

[Charlotte · Rating 5 out of 5]

: This book was wonderful. I read it on a Sunday afternoon/evening. It made me think about how I live, I did however cry all the way thru the book.

[Anne Marie]

I think it's great!

[Charmayne Orton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was heart wrenching. I constantly had to think how I would deal with something like this. I'm pretty sure I'd have to be committed.

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am too cynical to believe this book.