Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next 9 Months

by John Pfeiffer

There are approximately 3,712 ways for a guy to look stupid during pregnancy - this book's here to help you avoid all(most) of them. And here's your first Focus on what you can be doing for her rather than what's happening to her.She's pregnant. She knows that. You know that. And her 152 baby books tell her exactly what she can expect. Your job is to learn what you can do between the stick turning blue and the drive to the delivery room to make the next nine months go as smoothly as possible. That's where John Pfeiffer steps in. Like any good coach, he's been through it. He's dealt with the morning sickness and doctor visits, painting the baby's nursery and packing the overnight bag, choosing a name, hospital, and the color of the car-seat cover. All the while he remained positive and responsive - there with a "You're beautiful" when necessary - but assertive during the decision-making process (he didn't want to wind up with a kid named Percy). And now it's your turn.She might be having the baby, but you have plenty of responsibilities.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Health, Family, Personal Development, Audiobook

226 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 15, 2011

Reviews

[William · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is awful. Seriously, save yourself the money. Instead, find a drunken frat buddy -- ideally one who is a failed comic. If they're childless, the advice will be on-par with this book. If they have a kid, then you actually might come out ahead. Either way, at least you'll be drunk.

This book makes every stupid cliche joke you can think of. Worst of all, it imparts little-to-no useful information.

Unsatisfied, I looked around for another book, and found "The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be." I'm about 1/3 of the way in, but I've already learned more than I did from the entirety of the "Dude!" book.

Seriously, I read the entire thing.

Learn from my pain.

Do not buy this book.

[Zach Gray · Rating 1 out of 5]

"I hate to stereotype, but it requires so much less thought." This quote from the author in chapter two perfectly describes Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad. The book is one big stereotype and displays very little thought. I gave up halfway through. If you're 17 and accidentally got your girlfriend pregnant, you might enjoy this book.

[Kitty · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was excited to find a pregnancy book geared towards men but was sorely disappointed....this book was downright insulting to both men and women. In the first 1/5 of the book the husband is to hand the book over to the wife and have her read things she should be doing for him during pregnancy...like keeping up with his "needs" (lets leave it at that), making sure to keep the romance alive, still cooking for him when he gets off work on occasion, and being attentive to what he is going through. Sure, we shouldn't forget the husband, but lets be honest...if it has to go in the book...put it at the end when you've already thoroughly educated the guy about what she is going through. This was entirely the wrong place for any advice like that. The book advises that the man start helping with chores around the house (umm....why isn't he doing this already???) and treats the man like he is a complete neanderthal. If you are a married 16 year old...then maybe you should consider this book because it is full of common sense that many teenagers may not possess...however...I'd like to think if a guy has enough motivation to go out and get a book about what is significant other is going through during pregnancy, then he probably doesn't need this particular book. The book tries to cover up it's total lack of worthwhile information with crudely inappropriate humor.

[Mandy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This author is an asshole. Glad I bought this used so the author didn't receive any money directly from me.

"Make it clear to your BMP that you still expect a hot meal and food rub upon your arrival home from work."

No just kidding. You're a pig, John Pfeiffer.

[Frank · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found at least one thing on nearly every page in this book to be offended by. Deeply misogynist and painfully traditional, heteronormative and sexist. I learned almost nothing.

[Just A Ginger · Rating 1 out of 5]

The dude who wrote this is just an idiot. Sorry not sorry. It's super sexist and it could have easily been funny but this is written for a meat head with an awful college bros sense of humor.

[wiw · Rating 1 out of 5]

When I say this book is disgusting, I'm being very fucking kind.

[Dan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Embarrassing, “hello, fellow kids!” boomer humour low IQ nonsense.

[BCbcBC · Rating 1 out of 5]

Truly awful book. I cannot stress enough how much I hated this book and its tired clichés, awful tone and its assumption that all men want to be as childish and imbecilic as its author.

[Paul Stuart · Rating 2 out of 5]

My wife said this book came highly recommended for dads-to-be. After I bought it and was about a quarter of the way through it, she said "Oh wait, that wasn't the right one". Then everything made sense.

This book is NOT good. It will help you think through some topics or upcoming milestones during the pregnancy, but that's all it does. It makes you think about them. It does not give suggestions, but rather says "go read a book on that subject and educate yourself". So basically, this book is just as useful as a blog or "listicle" titled "Top 10 Things Expectant Dads Should Prepare For". And blogs are free.

For every good thing this book does, it does not simply take two steps back, but rather SPRINTS backwards while screaming irrelevant stale jokes while winking at itself in every mirror it passes. I enjoy silly and politically incorrect humor with a passion, and I truly think the author was attempting to provide this for the world, but boy oh boy. At first I gave him a pass in the first few chapters, because hey, not all jokes land... but then they just kept coming. And coming.

It's overwhelmingly clear that the guy went back in his editing process and shoehorned in a bad joke for every section; that's how out-of-place and jarring the jokes are. He says you think you'll be at the doctor so much, you'll feel like Lance Armstrong (ha). He makes a point that two things seem mutually exclusive, like "Tiger Woods and monogamy" (ha, ha, I guess...). He describes something as visually unappealing "like Kristie Alley in a bikini" (ha, ha, wait what the-?). Who is this book for? I strongly believe that the male audience the author envisions in his head does not, in fact, exist. And since I actually exist, I was frustrated by it.

There were a few good paragraphs here and there with good advice, so hey, 2 stars. But now I only want to follow up with my pregnant wife and figure out what that other book was.

[Kyle · Rating 1 out of 5]

Zero Star rating is unfortunately not an option.

This book is 75% gratuitous humour that is, 100% or the time, not funny. There is the odd anecdote that has a bit of wisdom to it, but the majority of the time it’s just the author attempting (too hard) his hand at comedy.

Referring you your partner as your woman was quite off-putting, as were the constant stereotypes about grandparents and the implication that what the father goes through during pregnancy is anywhere in the same league as what the expectant mother goes through.

Dude, you’re just not funny!

[Anna Quick · Rating 1 out of 5]

“With any luck, your baby making partner won’t looking any different for 3 or 4 months. And during months 4-6 if you blink really fast, you can convince yourself she still doesn’t look any different. But at some point, there’s no denying it. She’s pregnant, and you can really tell.”
Misogynistic, demeaning, objectifying, and tasteless.
This is written like it’s meant for teenage boys and actually offers nothing besides spelling out what an inconvenience your pregnant partner will be /s

Don’t waste your time

[Scott Rhee · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, one of the first things I did within the first week of finding out that my wife was pregnant was something that I do quite naturally anyway: go to the bookstore. I think I bought seven or eight books targeted for expectant fathers (I was personally surprised how many there are), and I plan on reading all of them before the Big Day. The first one I read is John Pfeiffer's "Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!", and I'm glad I started with this one. Just under 200 pages, this was the least daunting of the other books I purchased. (One of them is an intimidating 600 pages, and it has really small print. I'm kind of dreading that one...) Pfeiffer's book is perfect, especially for fathers-to-be who are perhaps more nervous than excited but afraid to admit it. Pfeiffer's book is also for those guys who don't really want all the gory details, just the main facts, which is why Pfeiffer loves bullet points and lists. There's also a lot of good-natured humor interjected throughout, which helps to alleviate the overwhelming heft of this impending event. The format is pretty un-intimidating, as well: separated into parts that cover all three trimesters (and a "fourth" trimester, a.k.a. the first year), each with chapters that cover each week. It's nice, especially for those guys who perhaps don't like to read entire books in one sitting, preferring instead to read little bits at a time. For a short book, it is pretty informative and useful, especially in schooling clueless guys like me on things like doulas, episiotomies, meconium, and how much breast pumps cost on average. (Doulas, by the way, are essentially pregnancy "coaches". Don't ask about the other two things. Seriously, DON'T ASK. And, holy shit, a CHEAP breast pump is $300.)

[Nil Yilmaz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Gross. Way to make a huge big and challenging thing for women about yourself and focusing on nothing but appearance.

Misogynistic, selfish, disgusting…

I would not trust any man who reads this book to prepare for fatherhood. Here are some ACTUAL good books for fathers to be that give a good insight on what’s about to happen :

•The Birth Partner 5th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth (Penny Simkin)

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

• Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding

• The Essential Homebirth Guide:
For Families Planning (Jane E. Drichta)

• Husband-Coached Childbirth (Robert A. Bradley)

Also make sure to read about all postpartum symptoms , it can be hard to put yourself into the position of a woman but a good man will try to understand and help.

Best of luck to all fathers to be 🤍

[Mike Krause · Rating 1 out of 5]

Written by a bro who thinks he is funny, but he’s just an asshole, and I feel sorry for his wife and kids. Glad I didn’t read it cover to cover.

The following sentences or quotes exist in this book:

● Talks about full figured women
● Selfish, vain women get C sections
● Tips helpful for men and not poisoned with estrogen
● Third world country doctors estimating baby's worth on the black market
● Freeze out Aunt Judy from learning about the birth because her gift sucked
● The 3 most transformational moments for a man are 1) losing your virginity, 2) winning your first legal bet, and 3) having a kid
● The way to bond with your son is beer and Hooters
● The way to bond with your daughter is giving her your credit card and pointing her to the nearest mall
● "Discarded faster than a girlfriend who brought an extra 100 pounds back with her from her summer vacation"

[Dimo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bought this book, because saw on a few websites good ratings. When got it and started reading I wanted to puke. Feels like written by a teenager, stupid cheap jokes, sexist completely inadequate. Don't buy it!

[Ida Bruun · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely disgusting, both me and my husband are horrified

[Bri Madden · Rating 1 out of 5]

Misogynistic book, is even sexist to men and women. Horrible read and harmful to pregnant women. Author is not qualified to write this book in any way.

[Max Fehr · Rating 2 out of 5]

By far one of the most misogynistic trash I’ve ever read. The helpful tips were far and few between and the amount of times he references the mother’s breasts and the revolting frat-like imagery was such a turn off. I had to finish it, it was very much like a car wreck that you couldn’t look away from.

[Aj Greenman · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is not worth reading. Almost all the information is just common sense, and the jokes just got worse amd worse. It was mildly entertaining at first, then just got really into dumb frat guy humor all throughout. Could have been written by just about anybody. I forced myself to finish it but didn't really enjoy it much.

[Zack Sanchez · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s like Dad jokes in book form. The advice is mid and the humor is cringeworthy. Loved this as a gift from my amazing wife though.

[George Sadek · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review is for Maggie. If you’re not Maggie keep scrolling. You figure it out yet?

[Leo Morales-Egizi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a lot of info, but it's okay. Good at reinforcing that the balance of work and attention between a hetero couple must shift tremendously when one of them is pregnant, but that the guy is still a person with needs.

I don't like the assumptions the author seems to make about his readers (especially that we don't already share housework), but I think the book would probably resonate well with the sort of guy he depicts: a bro-ish, white collar guy who sort of sees a woman as a mysterious Other rather than a different but kindred person.

[Chris Kiertz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow this was cringeworthy. His writing style could be described as “Frat Boy Chic” - his jokes were intolerable and his analogies were all a stretch. The only saving grace were a couple learnings I took away, but I could’ve read any other pregnancy book for that.

Stay away unless you are absolutely clueless about life.

[Jon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm finished and terrified. Other than that, really good humor for a book I wouldn't otherwise want to read. It's like a grown-up version of a Tucker Max book, minus the terrible stuff and geared towards welcoming another human.

[Emi]

If I ever find this in a used bookstore, I’ll get it just to write the longest hate review ever!!! I saw a reel of someone reading a part of it, and it was gross, and disgusting, and it made me sick!

[Eddie Boos · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is some wisdom in this book, but readers have to forgive a lot of inflammatory “jokes” to find it. This humor certainly hasn’t aged well, but I think it probably would’ve been tough to digest a decade ago when published. One unexpected joy is that my wife and I shared good moments discussing the frequent “jaw-dropping” statements. I read the entire book as it was a gift. The author demonstrates good perspective and is less cringy in the 2nd and 4th trimesters, in my opinion.

[Matthew Neal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, insightful look into fatherhood and what to expect during the pregnancy.

[Alan Castro · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has a lot of helpful information, but is definitely written with a stereotypical macho man audience in mind

[Vaidas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun(ny) overview of what to expect. Some good tips and also level headed view on upcoming months. Would recommend to read it as a primer, before heading to more scientific take on the matter.