Son of a Preacher Man: My Search for Grace in the Shadows

by Jay Bakker, Linden Gross

In Son of a Preacher Man Jay Bakker, son of famous televangelists Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, tells the compelling story of growing up in the glaring lights of a television studio. It's all the Bakker family's public disgrace, the fall of the PTL (Praise The Lord) media empire, and Bakker's subsequent plunge into a morass of anxiety and selfdestruction. But Son of a Preacher Man is more than a tell-all -- it is a story that dramatizes the human toll of this tragedy on the Bakker family, with insight into the seismic shifts that nearly destroyed his father and wrecked his parents' longtime marriage. It is the story of a prodigal son's return to the true meaning of God's love and acceptance. It is the story of a boy who was lost, but on the journey back from ruin finds a better way to understand and live life. It is the story of discovering God's grace and of becoming a man. Despite years of disillusionment, alcoholism, and heartbreak, Bakker managed to continue on his spiritual quest. First he worked to redeem his father...then his faith. Bakker began his service with Revolution, a ministry for skateboarders, punk rockers, and hippiesthe street kids he knew best. He shared the message that saved his life -- the message of Jesus that God's love is infinitely generous. Now Bakker has a large and growing ministry among the tattooed and pierced of downtown Atlanta who feel rejected by the traditional Church yet flock to hear his message of grace and love. Ultimately, Son of a Preacher Man is a story about resurrection -- of one lost young man, of his disgraced and imprisoned father, and of the hope that can't be destroyed by the machinations of power-hungry preachers, The long, lonely road that Bakker traveled taught him that you can't earn or make yourself worthy of the love of God, but if you are willing to let go and open up, that infinite love is waiting to welcome you home with open arms.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir, Memoir, Christianity, Faith

218 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Jay Bakker is the son of Jim Bakker and the late Tammy Faye Messner, who ran the PTL television ministry until it came crashing down in the late 1980s amid accusations of an accounting-fraud scandal. At its height, it boasted 13 million viewers and a Christian resort. Bakker began his own ministry, called Revolution, in 1994. It now has plants in New York, Charlotte, and Atlanta.

Reviews

[Jennelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are three books that every christian should read. This is one of them. This book changed my life forever. It's a quick read, very convicting and honest. It's sure to make any fundamentalist hang their head in shame. But after reading this book, you'll realize that that is a GOOD thing.

[Don Incognito · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book tells several stories:

-Jim Bakker's Praise the Lord ministry and its downfall, from his son Jay Bakker's viewpoint.

-Jay's life after the end of PTL, which was tortured enough due to his father's imprisonment but made much worse by most other Christians' giving the Bakkers the cold shoulder.

-His discovery of God's love and grace, which he knew nothing about due to having been neither taught about it nor shown it by any Christians he had known. His learning process continued even after he started a ministry for young people from subcultures that are typically shunned by conservative churches.

I appreciated the inside story of what happened with PTL, because I was too young to know anything about it (being about five years younger than Jay Bakker). He insists his father never had any intention of defrauding anyone, and explains that the Bakkers and PTL had another side besides the wealth and materialism everyone decries: Jim Bakker also proclaimed God's unconditional love and fervently wished to serve members of PTL.

Jay also makes clear that certain other Christian evangelists--mostly Jerry Falwell and Jimmy Swaggart--were obviously out to get his father and PTL. When Jim's scandal broke, Swaggart publicly called Bakker "a cancer on the body of Christ"; and while he somewhat made up for it later by agreeing to write a letter urging that Jim Bakker be paroled (when other prominent Christian leaders refused to), Falwell behaved even worse, taking over not only PTL and Heritage USA (the Christian theme park Jim Bakker built) but confiscating even some of the family's personal possessions and crassly auctioning them off on his own television program. (Jay states that Swaggart wanted to engineer a corporate takeover, but does not adequately explain how Falwell got involved. I can only guess Falwell used the same method--corporate takeover.)

Assuming Jay didn't exaggerate, this is some of the most ridiculous behavior I've ever heard of from a Christian evangelist. I have no idea why one would use his pulpit to sell other people's personal property; and Falwell's audience should have promptly and permanently left him. If that doesn't clinch that Falwell was not a nice man and not a great witness for Jesus Christ, this might: Falwell apparently also used his TV program to call Jim Bakker a homosexual, with no evidence whatsoever. What a creep.
Swaggart's position toward PTL might have been a little more complex: Jay initially suggests that Swaggart was simply jealous of Jim Bakker's wealth and popularity and considered Jim Bakker a "rival" (they were both Assembly of God ministers and were both on TV); but Jay later mentions that Swaggart had some sort of theological disagreements with Jim Bakker.


I agree completely with Jay Bakker's emphasis on God's grace and love and his insistence that churches must demonstrate God's grace by welcoming all individuals regardless of condition or appearance. I can't say much more than that, because I wasn't raised in church and I haven't really witnessed firsthand church members behaving judgmentally or as though they can earn salvation by behaving well. (Although I know people who have been in that kind of church environment and had their Christianity damaged by it. My best friend would probably still be alive but for the hypocrisy, intolerance and bad behavior of the Christians she knew.)

I should mention that a reader who has heard anything secondhand about Jay Bakker's ministry and views might suspect him of being both a political liberal and a theological liberal. He has said (not in this book) that he's "more [socially] liberal than most," but it's unlikely that he's a theological liberal, for several reasons. First, there's nothing theologically liberal about saying God is a God of grace and love; the Bible says that. Second, Jay says until he started his ministry to youth subculture kids, he had never really read the Bible, at least not thoroughly. (His father has said the same thing in his own book--that he never read the Bible all the way through until he went to prison.) That could affect his ministry either way, but my interpretation is that it's hard to interpret the Bible from a theologically liberal viewpoint if you haven't read the Bible much anyway. Third, he explicitly states that his belief in God's grace and boundless love doesn't mean he as a pastor gives anyone a license to sin, only that he welcomes people of any appearance and outward behavior in his church. As for the other kind of liberalism...Baker says nothing more specific about his social views and nothing whatsoever about his political views if he has any. (I would imagine he doesn't care much; besides that he's busy trying to serve people and show them the grace and love of Christ, he's not an intellectual. He says he did very poorly in school and dropped out, partly because the trauma of his father's downfall messed him up and partly because he's dyslexic.)

The above was true at the time Jay Bakker wrote this book, but that was over ten years ago, and if you research him now you'll find that his exact views are apparently in flux. Among other things, he now cites Paul Tillich as an influence and seems to share such an existentialist viewpoint, downplaying the idea that the Bible has all the truth. I'm dismayed: he's gone from doubting the church to doubting the Bible.

[Dáithí's · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was never intended to be a pastor. Like much of life, it was something that I fell into and wasn't sure why. After a while, I saw that I was made a pastor to help people by being transparent, open minded, supportive, non-judgmental, and honest. Once that was established, I saw that I couldn't be a Methodist pastor any longer as they were everything I wasn't and didn't support me in my vocation to be transparent, open minded, supportive, non-judgmental, and honest. I was labeled a heathen for discussing critical biblical commentary (though we learn these truths in seminary??!!), a closet homosexual for my support of gay rights and same sex marriage (two kids, and a life long love of the female anatomy be damned I suppose?), a loose cannon for not deceiving the flock about money and tithing (how can I guilt a person who just lost their home to give 10 percent of their income and tell them God will provide?), and of course my interpretation of the bible and Jesus of Nazareth (once again all things we learn in seminary,but are to deny when we enter the pulpit). I didn't have room for the title of "hypocrite" on my business card. Buuuuuh bye to organized religion and hello to interfaith / inter-spiritual ministry. A much healthier place in my opinion.

When looking back at my "Christian" career, it is funny that most of the folks that I had issue with and those who acted the least Christian, were self-proclaimed Christians. It was not a shock for me to read in Bakker's book about all of the nasty, back stabbing, evil, hateful behaviours that he and his family endured at the hands of fellow pastors and Christians. I have felt his pain myself.

I don't fully agree with Bakker's assessment of his infamous father and his actions, but I do understand that he is his dad and love trumps truth at times. Jay loves his mom and dad and it shows. Escaping from that toxic world of corrupt television evangelism was an eye opening thing for Jay Bakker, and that he went into Christian ministry of his own is a brave testament to his heart. He sticks by what he believes in. While I am no longer a Christian per se, I do empathize with Jay Bakker about reaching out to the margins of society to assist them spiritually. Tattoos and piercings be damned...people are beautiful worthy souls that need grace. That is a bottom line to stand for indeed. Jay has my respect for that.

This is a concise look into a very dark side of organized religion. It isn't tough to see how money can corrupt ones morals and values. I had a hard time sympathizing with Jay's pleas for is father's and mother's absolution for their greed, though he does admit that they did some wrong and paid for it. He is too close to the crimes to fully see how many people were hurt and abused by the PTL Network. Keep Jay Baker's blinders in mind when reading this book and you will come away with some answers to the madness of "God's chosen ones". Jay Bakker's optimism and hope is encouraging. May he stay the course and live honestly.

[Chezzie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Okay, I don't think I have anymore of these "radical christian" type books laying around. I don't know why I bother reading them, I just end up writing nit-picky things in the margins.

Though this "radical" type of message that's started in get around in the past couple of decades is better than the old coots rattling off all the ways we're going to burn, it still feels false. Not to mention ages behind "secular revolutions" which are fighting for freedom of choice.

Maybe Christianity is (sloooowly) on it's way to turning into something that's just pushy instead of breaking-lives hateful. I don't know if that's possible of something started out of the need for an excuse to conquer and dominate. It isn't possible to have healthy Christianity until it recognizes the need to support things like abortion and gay rights because everyone deserves freedom of choice, even if you don't agree with their choices.

It's exasperating.

[Randy Tramp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jay Bakker, his story.

When Jim Bakker fell, I was disturbed. Probably like many followers. When he went to the prison in Minnesota, I heard about it. Not from prison workers but from inmates that transferred from Rockchester. Every one of those inmates had good things to say about Jim Bakker. That's when I knew he'd changed for the good. "He reads the red," one inmate said. (Words of Jesus) Another inmate (a Jewish man) said he was a roommate of Jim Bakker. "He was a great guy," he said.

The book showed the church at its worst time. I never believed, and still don't, that Jim Bakker deserved as much time as he received. Even the five years he served was too much.

The message that came from the book: Forgive. Jay Bakker had much to forgive. He did. It saved his life.

[Elisabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jay's message of the grace of Jesus Christ is beautifully demonstrated here. He makes some excellent points about folks who parade around proclaiming what great Christians they are, but who seem to exhibit very few (if any) Christian qualities. However, I was especially fascinated by all the bits about televangelists and these larger-than-life men who made their name preaching on TV to thousands if not millions of people, and the scary amount of power they did (and in some cases, still do) wield. I'm very aware of these folks today, and prior to reading Jay's book knew sketchy details of the rise and fall of the Bakker empire. However, being born and raise in a Roman Catholic household north of the Mason-Dixon line in the '80s, means the world of the Bakkers and televangelism is very foreign to me, so it was fascinating to read a little about it here.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

While most Christian authors won't dwell into their past, Jay Bakker is brutally honest about his. In a world where so many people are put off by religion and Christianity in particular, Jay Bakker tells his story of life under the spotlight through his fathers' height and eventual downfall, and the fallout it created with other churches. He tells a story of rejection and eventual redemption. This is a great book to read for the spiritualist and non-spiritualist alike. It tells a story of acceptance and love that pretty much anyone can relate to.

[Aronkai · Rating 4 out of 5]

Challenging! Makes you think.

It made me even more to think, and to be honest, quite sad, after I checked how Pastor Jay Bakker is doing today and what he is promoting now... Jesus loved sinners and hated sin. We tend to go to the extremes. We love sin and sinners or hate sin and sinners.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story of growing up as a child of Jim and Tammy Bakker. Jay went through some very rough times, but emerged as someone to remind us of what religion, and Grace, truly means. Very inspirational.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jay Bakker is such an inspiration. Great book!

[James Tetley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brutally honest book, and about the impact of the demise of PTL on Jay's life and his subsequent spiral into drink and drugs. He paints a passionate picture of the impact of his parents divorce and his dad's imprisonment between the ages of 13 to 18. Also how many churches exhibited judgement instead of grace.... His acknowledgment of his problems through attending an alcoholics anonymous meeting was the start of his return from the brink. But ultimately this story is about funding the unconditional grace in Jesus, and how he couldn't earn the love of God by his works. This discovery of the unconditional covenant love of God in Jesus is the message he wants a lost generation to discover. An inspiring story that breathes hope into the darkest situations.

[Spencer Cox · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely was a QUICK read. Definitely feel like Jay glossed over MANY MANY MANY important details of the story of the Bakker family. His Dad's book "I was wrong" is a more detailed book for sure. HOWEVER I still enjoyed the book and think it's great how he's made a name for himself and not just as Jim and Tammy Faye Bakkers son.

[Jameson Ketchum · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in preparation for having Jay Bakker on my podcast (Godspeed) and I loved it. He said his theology has changed a lot since writing this so I do recommend his next two books! I love how he writes and he's a genuine great dude.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a theological book, it left a lot to be desired. As a gossip book, it was fantastic.

[Steven H · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE SON OF THE PTL CLUB'S FOUNDERS TELLS HIS STORY

Jamie Charles (Jay) Bakker (born 1975) is the younger of two children born to televangelists Jim Bakker and Tammy Faye Bakker Messner. He has been a preacher at several churches specializing in outreach to the young and unchurched. He wrote in the Introduction to this 2001 book, "I spend my days speaking and preaching about God to all types of people, including kids who don't feel accepted. Every day my friends and I try to pioneer a new type of ministry... My generation has gotten kind of lost..." (Pg. xviii) He adds, "This is a book for any person who has never felt good enough or who has never felt accepted. If you've felt broken, lost, like an outcast, rejected by God, as if God hates you, rejected by the church... then this is a book for you." (Pg. xxi)

Of his parents' ministry in its prime, he wrote, "Dad had to raise a million dollars every other day just to keep everything afloat... Sadly, that became his focus after a while. He had to feed the monster or risk losing it." (Pg. 21) He confides, "My parents' marriage had been dicey for years. In 1979, after ... a platonic involvement with a man she'd fallen in love with, Mom left Dad. They got back together and tried counseling, but it didn't help. A year later, she had an affair. My dad's fifteen-minute tryst ... was, in his own words, a stupid attempt to make Mom jealous and win her back." (Pg. 24) He also admits, "Mom was sicker than anyone knew. After years of medicating herself with over-the-counter and prescription medications, she had become addicted to all of them... When Mom was well enough, they moved her into the Betty Ford Clinic. She only lasted a day as an inpatient. To my mother, a twenty-eight day in-house rehabilitation program was simply not an option." (Pg. 27)

He summarized, "The theological pettiness of others, along with their lust for power and plain old greed, destroyed my father's ministry, just as it's destroying the church today." (Pg. 40) He adds, "The fact that this was being done in the name of Christ made it worse. No wonder people hate Christians the way they do or think that Christianity is screwed up, when they see us destroying each other." (Pg. 44)

He confesses, "My father's going to prison would mark the start of my own journey into the wilderness... I reacted badly. I had experimented with alcohol and pot for the first time some months back. Despite my youth, those would quickly become the rule rather than the exception." (Pg. 65) He asked, "Where were the people of our church who we had helped so much before now that we needed them?... How could men of the cloth write letters to my dad saying that they hoped he got [sexually assaulted] in prison? 'If this is God and being a Christian, I don't want to be part of it,' I decided." (Pg. 80)

Ultimately, he and his father reconciled (he even led a letter-writing drive for his father's early release), and he entered his own ministry, which is illustrated by his 2000 address to the Gospel Music Association, where he said, "You have to stop banning these CDs... Why aren't we supporting these people who are going into territories we've never been and reaching people who have never been reached before? Kids are dying... and a lot of these bands are the only Jesus they will ever see.'" (Pg. 207)

Engagingly written (probably thanks to his acknowledged ghostwriter), this book is of interest to anyone wanting to know more about PTL and its fall, or of "edgy" ministries to young people.

[Derek · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate his vision for religion. Accepting people as they are, where they are. It’s a breath of fresh air for someone like me who left the church years ago due to discrimination.

[Scott Strumello · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actually, I read this book by accident -- I bought it in a bookstore because it seemed interesting. Initially, I was interested in investigating alternatives to mainstream religions, and it seemed appropriate since Jay Bakker, son of televangelists Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker (who ironically enough, before her death, became something of a gay icon due largely to her former television show with Jim J. Bullock) had started an "alternative" church in Brooklyn, New York. While his ideas struck me as fundamentally sound, I finished by wondering why people like him (who really didn't have life any more difficult than many people) tend to stick with religion at all, and almost certainly with Western religious thoughts, as it seems to me that Bhuddism or something else might prove more compelling upon closer investigation. When all is said and done, the book was interesting, but proved more of a biography of his life from someone with a rather short life-to-date and therefore a bit hard to grasp just how his life experience could really result in his finding God, as I thought his life had yet to dish out all that much. Still, I did find his conclusions appropriate enough, but did not find his logic terribly compelling.

[Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my earliest memories is of being outside on a bright sunny day with my grandparents at Heritage USA, gazing up at the terrifyingly high waterslide. This must have been no later than 1987 or 1988, so I would have only been three or four years old. We only went once. My grandparents were not wealthy, but they'd donated money to PTL and admired the Bakkers. I never knew--I wonder if they still supported the Bakkers after their very public ordeal, or if they lost faith in them like so many others did?

After reading this memoir, I have a lot of respect for Jay Bakker and can see how his support for LGBTQ folk must have emerged so naturally from his own experiences with religious judgment and rejection.

"The fact that this was being done in the name of Christ made it worse. No wonder people hate Christians the way they do or think that Christianity is screwed up, when they see us destroying each other....You still want to know why you're not reaching today's youth?...My generation is trying to minister in its own way, and you're not letting us." - Jay Bakker

[Trisha DeBoer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book. I was a young kid when the whole Bakker situation went down, so a lot of the information was new to me. Jay Bakker wrote this book clearly, transparently, and authentically, with the ability to let the reader in on what his family went through when much of the evangelical church turned its back on them. I also really like his emphasis on grace and of Christ's unconditional love. That being said, I couldn't give it a higher rating because I think he lumps together all Christian churches into graceless, cold institutions. I don't think it's his intent, but the idea is still there. Jay also really has some excellent ideas in this book, the last chapter especially. My favorite line in the whole book was probably, "(People) are driven away by the condemnation and the infighting within the church, by a religion that instead of preaching grace is known as the only army that kills its wounded." I would recommend this book to others.

[Wesley James · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was very easy to read and I found myself having a hard time putting it down. Maybe that was because I was in my 20's during the downfall of PTL and have always had a fascination with this ministry.

After reading this I was left with the feeling that Jay is still wanting to be rebellious because of what his family went through. I would not wish that on anyone however at some point we have to get through the pain and move forward in positivity.

I dont agree with a lot of his premises within the book but having said that many of them I do.

He is very honest about his struggles and I respect that very much.

This was his recollection of the journey his family went through and his own personal journey. It was a good read but I wish he would have dealt more with why he believed what he believed using Scripture.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting, inside look at Jim and Tammy Bakker and what happened with them before, during, and after PTL. Jay Bakker really suffered when his world fell apart and his dad went to prison. He helped get his dad's sentenced shortened when he was only 16.
The last half of the book is about Jay's life after his dad got out of prison and how Jay struggled againt his own demons, including his rage and mistrust towards the people who hurt his family and his addiction to drugs and alcohol. The Jay Bakker now how his own unique ministry is pretty amazing after all he and his family went through. The book is well-written, interesting, and informative. I admire Bakker's honesty and sincerity.

[Wendy Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the introduction of this book and was totally hooked. It gives an interesting, albeit a totally biased, perspective on the Bakker saga as told by their son. Great to read what he learned about the grace of God from it all, so that kept me reading. Eventually, the writing wore on me, as it clearly was written on a low reading level. But at the same time, the simple language and writing of the book surely makes it appealing to many. Proving again his point that God's grace is for absolutely everyone.

[Stephanie McCown · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a beautiful story of redemption and discovery of purpose, and a must-read for anyone who thinks they know the truth about the Bakkers,PTL, and the impact that scandal and shaming had on this family. I strongly recommend it. The story told through the eyes of a child growing into a man under the scrutiny of a world who turned his parents into a mockery is a story that most of us probably haven't heard before. It's a tough read because the pain is palpable, but it is a story that needs to be told.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Social Distortion and the Misfits? I would want to hang with Jay Bakker just to hang out with those guys too. Plus we were born the same year and married the same year, and raised in conservative religious homes. The similarities end there. Jay teaches an open Christianity that is relevant to our 21st century lives and he deserves to be listened to. I am still unsure about his father's guilt after reading this. That aspect seems to be fuzzy in Jay's mind. He was a kid at the time, after all.

[Brandon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Continuing in his mother's footsteps, Pastor Jay does an amazing job sharing a story that is often unheard. In his own journey of faith and understanding, God reveals supernatural understanding to Jay - an understanding that continues to define his ministry today. This is a must read for anyone who feels rejected by the church and the faith.

[Zack · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admit, I didn't know much about the scandal with PTL until I read this book. My wife bought the book because she did know about it and thought it would be a good read. It was a good read and a personal look in the life of Jay Bakker as a kid and how his view influenced him. Met Jay in person later in the year.

[James Bauslaugh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jay Baker has a very interesting story that reveals God's Grace in a broken world and how He can redeem any situation/story and turn it into an opportunity to bring honor and glory to Jesus Christ. For all who feel as if your past sins and brokenness will keep you from a Holy God, I recommend you read this book and see that nothing can keep you from His love!

[Lisa Harrington · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jay Bakker is an amazing, real, honest human being! His book equals his passion. Jay writes with his heart, mind and soul and you'll be glued to each and every page. Can't wait until his next book is available in January!

[Joshunda Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful look at the boy who became a man while Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker were being imprisoned and humiliated for their public missteps as 1980s televangelists. Bakker laid his soul bare, and his candor makes up for some awkward turns of phrase.

[Matt Piechocinski · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think Jay Bakker has a very harrowing story, but in his telling, in retrospect, I think he would have benefitted from some tough love, instead of surrounding himself with people who seemed to enable him.