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The Second Coming
An outrageous, irreverent look at faith, religion, modern culture and what might happen to the Son of God if he ever came back to Earth.
"GOD'S COMING -- LOOK BUSY!" God really is coming, and he is going to be pissed... Having left his son in charge God treats himself to a week off at the beginning of the seventeenth century. He returns to find out that things on earth haven't gone quite to plan.
A word about celestial time. Eternity isn't really eternal. It's just very slow. A day in heaven is the equivalent of 57 earth years. When He took His week off it was 1609, the height of the Renaissance -- King Lear was being performed on the London stage and Galileo was squinting through his prototype telescope. A good time to go fishing. When He returns it is 2009. It has not been an uneventful 400 years, thinks God, as He asks 'Where is the little bastard?' The 'little bastard' is trading guitar riffs with his new best friend Jimi. Well, he'd had a pretty rough ride down here and figured he was entitled to a little R&R. In celestial time, he's only been back a few weeks.
After God has ripped Jesus a new asshole he calls a meeting of the Saints: the earth has become a human toilet. Genocide; starvation; people obsessed with vacuous celebrity culture 'and,' God points out, 'there are fucking Christians everywhere.' God hates Christians. What's to be done? Peter argues for flushing the whole thing down the toilet and starting again. God points out the time and effort He put into his creation. ('Have you any idea what it was like to sit through the Bronze Age? The main form of entertainment WAS BRONZE!'). In the end there is only one solution. They're sending the kid back.
Cut to New York City, where JC is a struggling musician and petty criminal trying to help people as best as he can and gathering disciples along the way: a motley collection of basket cases, stoners and alcoholics. He finally realises his best chance to win hearts and minds may lie in a TV talent contest -- American Pop Star! It's the number one show in America, the unholy creation of an English record executive called Steven Stelfox.
"GOD'S COMING -- LOOK BUSY!" God really is coming, and he is going to be pissed... Having left his son in charge God treats himself to a week off at the beginning of the seventeenth century. He returns to find out that things on earth haven't gone quite to plan.
A word about celestial time. Eternity isn't really eternal. It's just very slow. A day in heaven is the equivalent of 57 earth years. When He took His week off it was 1609, the height of the Renaissance -- King Lear was being performed on the London stage and Galileo was squinting through his prototype telescope. A good time to go fishing. When He returns it is 2009. It has not been an uneventful 400 years, thinks God, as He asks 'Where is the little bastard?' The 'little bastard' is trading guitar riffs with his new best friend Jimi. Well, he'd had a pretty rough ride down here and figured he was entitled to a little R&R. In celestial time, he's only been back a few weeks.
After God has ripped Jesus a new asshole he calls a meeting of the Saints: the earth has become a human toilet. Genocide; starvation; people obsessed with vacuous celebrity culture 'and,' God points out, 'there are fucking Christians everywhere.' God hates Christians. What's to be done? Peter argues for flushing the whole thing down the toilet and starting again. God points out the time and effort He put into his creation. ('Have you any idea what it was like to sit through the Bronze Age? The main form of entertainment WAS BRONZE!'). In the end there is only one solution. They're sending the kid back.
Cut to New York City, where JC is a struggling musician and petty criminal trying to help people as best as he can and gathering disciples along the way: a motley collection of basket cases, stoners and alcoholics. He finally realises his best chance to win hearts and minds may lie in a TV talent contest -- American Pop Star! It's the number one show in America, the unholy creation of an English record executive called Steven Stelfox.
376 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
About the author
John Niven
32 books934 followersBorn in Irvine, Ayrshire, Niven read English Literature at Glasgow University, graduating in 1991 with First Class honours. For the next ten years, he worked for a variety of record companies, including London Records and Independiente. He left the music industry to write full time in 2002 and published his debut novella Music from Big Pink in 2005 (Continuum Press). The novella was optioned for the screen by CC Films with a script has been written by English playwright Jez Butterworth. Niven's breakthrough novel Kill Your Friends is a satire of the music business, based on his brief career in A&R, during which he passed up the chance to sign Coldplay and Muse. The novel was published by William Heinemann in 2008 and achieved much acclaim, with Word magazine describing it as "possibly the best British Novel since Trainspotting". It has been translated into seven languages and was a bestseller in Britain and Germany. Niven has since published The Amateurs (2009), The Second Coming (2011), Cold Hands (2012) and Straight White Male (2013).
He also writes original screenplays with writing partner Nick Ball, the younger brother of British TV presenter Zoë Ball. His journalistic contributions to newspapers and magazines include a monthly column for Q magazine, entitled "London Kills Me". In 2009 Niven wrote a controversial article for The Independent newspaper where he attacked the media's largely complacent coverage of Michael Jackson's death.
Niven lives in Buckinghamshire with his fiancee and infant daughter. He has a teenage son from a previous marriage.
He also writes original screenplays with writing partner Nick Ball, the younger brother of British TV presenter Zoë Ball. His journalistic contributions to newspapers and magazines include a monthly column for Q magazine, entitled "London Kills Me". In 2009 Niven wrote a controversial article for The Independent newspaper where he attacked the media's largely complacent coverage of Michael Jackson's death.
Niven lives in Buckinghamshire with his fiancee and infant daughter. He has a teenage son from a previous marriage.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 943 reviews
May 21, 2013
This book is very, very funny. It is not a literary masterpiece and has lots of flaws. It will also offend many many people. It will particularly offend religious fundamentalists (especially Christian ones) and those who are racist and homophobic. Oh, and if you are offended by swearing and casual drug use, you may also have problems with it. When I say swearing, well it's not the odd damn and blast, just a little stronger.
The premise is quite simple God goes for a weeks fishing in the 17th Century and returns in 2011 (heaven time is different). He is distinctly upset at what humanity has done to the earth; genocide, pollution famine and f**king Christians all over the place. God does not like Christians. God's message is very simple Be Nice. This was the commandment he gave Moses, who promptly dumped it and made up 10 of his own. He consults with Jesus, who is playing a guitar with Jimi Hendrix and smoking some very good marijuana (everyone smokes it in heaven). They decide Jesus must return to earth and promote the message Be Nice. Jesus, a struggling musician, turns up in New York with a rag tag band of followers in the form of the despised, homeless, broken. He enters American Idol (run by a very thinly disguised Simon Cowell) and history repeats itself in interesting ways.
Don't try to work out the timeline or the plot; there are enough holes to drive several buses through. The book is FUNNY. Especially the first quarter. The descriptions of Hell are gruesome but there are some neat touches; the fate of politicians and investment bankers. Hitler working as a waiter in a jewish restaurant. The fate of the founder of the KKK is particularly inventive.
There is underneath it all a very human story about the whole point being Be Nice; nice involving justice, equality and fairness for all; oh, and lots of weed to smoke.
This is guarenteed to make most people wince at some point, but the satire is biting. All the fundamentalists end up in hell; the suicides, damaged and lost are of course in heaven; along with the gay community ("God loves fags"). It's a good read and I laughed out loud on several occasions; said ouch, that went too far on others; but mostly it is excellent satire with a very human message.
The premise is quite simple God goes for a weeks fishing in the 17th Century and returns in 2011 (heaven time is different). He is distinctly upset at what humanity has done to the earth; genocide, pollution famine and f**king Christians all over the place. God does not like Christians. God's message is very simple Be Nice. This was the commandment he gave Moses, who promptly dumped it and made up 10 of his own. He consults with Jesus, who is playing a guitar with Jimi Hendrix and smoking some very good marijuana (everyone smokes it in heaven). They decide Jesus must return to earth and promote the message Be Nice. Jesus, a struggling musician, turns up in New York with a rag tag band of followers in the form of the despised, homeless, broken. He enters American Idol (run by a very thinly disguised Simon Cowell) and history repeats itself in interesting ways.
Don't try to work out the timeline or the plot; there are enough holes to drive several buses through. The book is FUNNY. Especially the first quarter. The descriptions of Hell are gruesome but there are some neat touches; the fate of politicians and investment bankers. Hitler working as a waiter in a jewish restaurant. The fate of the founder of the KKK is particularly inventive.
There is underneath it all a very human story about the whole point being Be Nice; nice involving justice, equality and fairness for all; oh, and lots of weed to smoke.
This is guarenteed to make most people wince at some point, but the satire is biting. All the fundamentalists end up in hell; the suicides, damaged and lost are of course in heaven; along with the gay community ("God loves fags"). It's a good read and I laughed out loud on several occasions; said ouch, that went too far on others; but mostly it is excellent satire with a very human message.
November 30, 2020
Assicuratevi di consigliarlo all'amico più ciellino che avete
September 20, 2025
Buckle up, this review is full of F-bombs!
The Second Coming is a novel that will make you laugh so hard you'll question your own salvation. The first two chapters alone are a non-stop, gut-busting rollercoaster of divine profanity and heavenly shenanigans.
Niven's novel, an epic satire, follows God's hilarious reaction after returning from a 'week's' celestial fishing trip to find Earth in absolute chaos, a period that on our timeline translates to several hundred years. God, the charismatic, weed-loving, swearing-like-a-sailor CEO of Heaven, is horrified to find a world obsessed with celebrity, capitalism, and hypocrisy, all while organized religion has completely lost the plot. The solution? Send Jesus Christ back to Earth for a do-over.
But this isn't the Messiah you remember from Sunday school. John Niven's Jesus, or "JC" as he's known, is a stoner musician living in New York who just wants everyone to "Be Nice!". The book ridicules every organized religion with a surgical scalpel of satire, highlighting how people blindly follow the rules without any thought, completely missing the original message from God. It's the kind of truth-bombing that makes you feel both enlightened and deeply uncomfortable.
The cast of heavenly characters is incredibly relatable. The angels are a bunch of celestial bureaucrats, and Satan is basically a slick, rival-company CEO. The novel is a ruthless critique of human ego, ambition, and greed, showing how power ballads and the almighty dollar have replaced divine wisdom. Niven demonstrates that even if Jesus himself came back, he'd be crucified all over again by the people claiming to follow his every word.
The book's ending was always going to be a messy one, given the world's mess. Yet, Niven's writing is so witty and entertaining that you'll be too busy laughing to mourn the inevitable. It's a fantastic, blasphemous, and profoundly funny take on faith and humanity that proves that, sometimes, the truest comedy is born from the most uncomfortable truths.
***
“A few minutes later Jeannie can hear muffled screams and swearing coming through those heavy, cathedral-sized doors. Stuff being kicked over. God reads about the burqa and the hijab. The deal according to these dudes seemed to be something like this: all men are barely contained rapists who can be provoked by even a glimpse of an ankle. So chicks have to march about in head-to-toe black sacks. But all women are basically temptress whores who want to fuck all men all the time. So if one of them
somehow breaks a good, honest married man down by wantonly flashing, say, a kneecap at him, and he gives in and fucks her, then it is suitable for her to be literally stoned to death – a big circle of men hurling rocks at her fucking head – while the guy gets a parking ticket. He reads on – a list of stuff the Taliban guys were resolutely not having: ‘pork, pig, pig oil, human hair products, satellite dishes, cinematography, music and equipment that produces the joy of music, pool tables, chess, masks, alcohol, tapes, computers, VCRs, television, anything that propagates sex, wine, lobster, nail polish, firecrackers, statues, sewing catalogues, pictures and Christmas cards’.
Sewing catalogues?”
***
“God sighs, exhaling herby, woody smoke as He finally asks the obvious question.
‘What the fuck,’ God asks, ‘happened with the Christians? There are fucking Christians everywhere.’
‘It, uh, it got convoluted,’ Peter says.
‘Convoluted? What the fuck is there to get convoluted about “Be nice”?’
‘There’s been a lot of splintering going on. You have the Catholics obviously.’
‘Right, so that’s one,’ God says.
‘Not exactly one, sir, no. There’s various, um, subgroups within the Catholics. You’ve got the Maronite Church, the Melkites, the Ruthenian – or Byzantine – Catholic Church, the Chaldeans, the –’
‘Look, what’s the difference?’ God asks.
‘Well, they mainly believe that the Pope is your representative on earth –’
‘Fuck me,’ God says.
‘But,’ Matthew continues, ‘there are differences of theological emphasis concerning, er, things like, say, the Latin depiction of purgatory.
‘Who,’ God says, pouring more coffee, ‘gives a drop of fucking piss about the Latin depiction of purgatory?’
‘A fine point, sir. However, some seem to. Then there’s things like the Patriarchal Exarchate for Orthodox Parishes of Russian Tradition in Western Europe, there’s Oriental Orthodox Churches – as you’ll remember they didn’t accept the Council of Chalcedon back in 451 – the Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria, Jacobite Syrian Christian Church, the Malankara Orthodox Syrian Church, Eritrean Orthodox Tewahedo Church, Assyrian Church of the East . . . Mariavite Church, Palmarian Catholic
Church, True Catholic Church, Liberal Catholic Church, Chinese Patriotic Catholic Association, Catholic Charismatic Church of Canada, Communion of Christ the Redeemer, the –’
‘These are all still the Catholics?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Skip forward,’ God says. Matthew’s voice, literally driving everyone insane.
‘Well . . . then there’s the Protestants. Within that you have Presbyterians, Baptists, Anabaptists, Methodists, Pentecostalists, Episcopalians, Charismatics, Neo-Charismatics and the, um, Lutherans.’
‘Right. Thank y—’
‘And within those groups there’s the likes of the Apostolic Lutheran Church of America, the Confessional Evangelical Lutheran Conference, the Remonstrant Brotherhood, the Confederation of Reformed Evangelical Churches, the Upper Cumberland Presbyterian Church – this list is by no means exhaustive by the way –’
God disagreed. He was already exhausted.
‘Then there’s the Amish – you’ve got Swartzentruber Amish, Old Order Amish, Nebraska Amish, Beachy Amish, then the Hutterites, the Bruderhof Communities, Abecedarians, no, hang on, they’re extinct, sorry, the Mennonites, and, within that, the Chortitzer Mennonite Conference, Holdeman Mennonites, Evangelical Mennonites. The Methodists – Christian Methodist Episcopal Church, Free Methodists, United Methodists, Primitive Methodists. The Baptists – Old Time Missionary Baptists, Regular Baptists, Old Regular Baptists, Progressive Baptists, Separate Baptists, Separate Baptists in Christ, Seventh-Day Baptists, Southeast Baptist Convention, Southern Baptists of Texas, Free Will Baptists, Bible Baptists, Conservative Baptist Association of America, Primitive Baptists, Black Primitive Baptists, the Norwegian Baptist Union and, um . . . the Interstate and Foreign Landmark Missionary Baptist Association.’
‘That’s it?’
‘For the Baptists. Then there’s the Brethren – United Brethren, Free Evangelical Brethren, Plymouth Brethren, the Pentecostals – Church of the Little Children of Jesus Christ, Fire Baptized Holiness Church of God of the Americas –’
‘Hang on,’ God says, stubbing a joint out. ‘The Fire Baptized Holiness Church of God of the Americas? Are you making this fucking shit up?’
‘No, sir. The God is Love Pentecostal Church, Church of God Jerusalem Acres, Church of God with Signs Following . . .’
Jesus – asleep now.
‘. . . Church of God of the Original Mountain Assembly, Potter’s House of Christian Fellowship. The Charismatics – Calvary Chapel, Charismatic Church of God, City Harvest Church, Jesus Army, Ministries of His Glory, New Frontiers, True Jesus Church, New Birth Movement, New Life Fellowship, uh, sorry, the last few were actually Neo-Charismatic. The Quakers, the Stone-Campbell Movement, the Millerites, Southcottites, Seventh-Day Adventists, the Mormons, they believe your son visited Salt
Lake City in Utah at some point where he ministered to –’ Hey, dufus,’ God says to Jesus, who is snoring lightly. God throws a pencil at him, getting him on the forehead and causing him to snap awake.
‘Uh, what?’
‘Were you ever in Salt Lake City?’
‘Is, is, this about that girl? Look, she said she was eighteen. I –’
‘Forget it,’ God says, waving a hand for Matthew to continue.
‘. . . ministered to the, uh, Nephites. Then there’s the Latter-Day Saints, the Prairie Saint denominations – Hedrickites, Bickertonites, Cutlerites, Strangites and so on. Then there’s the more out there stuff like the
Christadelphians, Christian Scientists, Spirit-Wrestlers, Subbotniks, Molokans, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Swedenborgians, the –’
‘OK, OK,’ God holds up a hand. ‘Matthew, please, shut the fuck up. Cut to the chase, OK? How many of these sons of bitches in total?’
‘Different Christian denominations? Um . . .’ Matthew consults his notes, ‘a little over 38,000.’
A long silence before God says ‘Fuck me’ once again.
No one’s arguing with that and, after another long moment of silence, God asks, ‘How did they get so caught up in the worshipping thing? I mean, do they think I care if they believe in me or not?’"
***
"‘Creationism?’ God says. ‘What’s that?
‘Right,’ Andrew says, already laughing, ‘there’s these bams doon there, mostly in America, right, they’re aff their fucken heeds, so they are, Boss, but check this oot, ye’ll no believe it, these cunts believe that the earth is aboot ten thousand years old.’
God looking at him, not understanding. ‘What do you mean “believe”?’
‘Ah mean,’ Andrew says, ‘they believe it. They took the ages of every cunt in the fucking Bible and added them up back to Adam and Eve and that’s how they reckon the age o’ the fucking earth. Ten thoosand years.’
Another long pause before God explodes with laughter.
God’s laugh – you really have to hear it. It’s the most infectious, throaty cackle ever. After a minute everyone is howling so hard that Jeannie pops her head around the door to check everything’s OK. Fuelled by the spliffs, soon God is on His knees on the carpet with tears of mirth streaming down his face. ‘Oh, no, oh, I . . . I . . .’ God is saying, gasping for breath, ‘oxygen, need oxygen.’
Ten thousand years!’ Jesus repeats. ‘Oh man.’
‘No, stop it!’ Peter says.
‘But . . . but . . . what about the rocks?’ God asks, fighting to speak. ‘The fossils? Haven’t they figured out carbon dating yet?’
‘They have, they have,’ Matthew says. Even Matthew is crying with laughter.
‘But,’ Andrew says, ‘check this oot – the Creationists say you created the earth with the appearance of age, so people would think it was older than it was!’
‘AHHHHAHHHAAHHH!’ God is helpless with mirth now, banging the desk with His fist. ‘You, you mean I gave it a . . . a nice antique-y feel?’
Everyone screaming with laughter."
***
But where –’ he stops and turns to JC – ‘where is your church?’
‘Come on, Pastor,’ Jesus says, absent-mindedly toying with a sprig of rosemary he’s picked out the ground. No disrespect, I’m sure you’re, ah, really into, ah, whatever it is you do, but what do I, what do we, want with a church?’
‘Salvation, my son.’
Jesus laughs. ‘Do you really think – and excuse my language in advance – that God gives a squirt of piss if you worship Him or not? I mean, it’s like the Rolling Stones, OK? The Rolling Stones. On a Stones tour there are hundreds of people on the road: truck drivers, set designers, carpenters,
electricians, caterers, guitar technicians, production people, personal assistants, humpers, teamsters, sound and lighting guys. Do you think Mick Jagger gives a shit whether or not the dude who helped carry a speaker onto the stage in Philadelphia, or the guy who picked up litter in London after the show, do you think Mick cares what that guy thinks about him?’
‘I . . . to say that is to try and make a mockery of everything I believe in.’
‘So if you believe a bunch of shit people aren’t allowed to mock it?’
‘One must respect the beliefs of others.’
‘Why?’
‘Why?’
‘Yeah. Why should I respect your bunch of shit? Because you say so? Come on, if you really believe it what do you care what I think?’
‘The atheist –’ the Pastor begins.
‘Are you outta your mind?’ Jesus cuts back in. ‘Of course I’m not an atheist. I have kissed the face of God, Pastor. And –’
‘Blasphemy.’
‘– and lemme tell you, He’d kick your ass clean across the room for half the crap you believe.’
The Second Coming is a novel that will make you laugh so hard you'll question your own salvation. The first two chapters alone are a non-stop, gut-busting rollercoaster of divine profanity and heavenly shenanigans.
Niven's novel, an epic satire, follows God's hilarious reaction after returning from a 'week's' celestial fishing trip to find Earth in absolute chaos, a period that on our timeline translates to several hundred years. God, the charismatic, weed-loving, swearing-like-a-sailor CEO of Heaven, is horrified to find a world obsessed with celebrity, capitalism, and hypocrisy, all while organized religion has completely lost the plot. The solution? Send Jesus Christ back to Earth for a do-over.
But this isn't the Messiah you remember from Sunday school. John Niven's Jesus, or "JC" as he's known, is a stoner musician living in New York who just wants everyone to "Be Nice!". The book ridicules every organized religion with a surgical scalpel of satire, highlighting how people blindly follow the rules without any thought, completely missing the original message from God. It's the kind of truth-bombing that makes you feel both enlightened and deeply uncomfortable.
The cast of heavenly characters is incredibly relatable. The angels are a bunch of celestial bureaucrats, and Satan is basically a slick, rival-company CEO. The novel is a ruthless critique of human ego, ambition, and greed, showing how power ballads and the almighty dollar have replaced divine wisdom. Niven demonstrates that even if Jesus himself came back, he'd be crucified all over again by the people claiming to follow his every word.
The book's ending was always going to be a messy one, given the world's mess. Yet, Niven's writing is so witty and entertaining that you'll be too busy laughing to mourn the inevitable. It's a fantastic, blasphemous, and profoundly funny take on faith and humanity that proves that, sometimes, the truest comedy is born from the most uncomfortable truths.
***
“A few minutes later Jeannie can hear muffled screams and swearing coming through those heavy, cathedral-sized doors. Stuff being kicked over. God reads about the burqa and the hijab. The deal according to these dudes seemed to be something like this: all men are barely contained rapists who can be provoked by even a glimpse of an ankle. So chicks have to march about in head-to-toe black sacks. But all women are basically temptress whores who want to fuck all men all the time. So if one of them
somehow breaks a good, honest married man down by wantonly flashing, say, a kneecap at him, and he gives in and fucks her, then it is suitable for her to be literally stoned to death – a big circle of men hurling rocks at her fucking head – while the guy gets a parking ticket. He reads on – a list of stuff the Taliban guys were resolutely not having: ‘pork, pig, pig oil, human hair products, satellite dishes, cinematography, music and equipment that produces the joy of music, pool tables, chess, masks, alcohol, tapes, computers, VCRs, television, anything that propagates sex, wine, lobster, nail polish, firecrackers, statues, sewing catalogues, pictures and Christmas cards’.
Sewing catalogues?”
***
“God sighs, exhaling herby, woody smoke as He finally asks the obvious question.
‘What the fuck,’ God asks, ‘happened with the Christians? There are fucking Christians everywhere.’
‘It, uh, it got convoluted,’ Peter says.
‘Convoluted? What the fuck is there to get convoluted about “Be nice”?’
‘There’s been a lot of splintering going on. You have the Catholics obviously.’
‘Right, so that’s one,’ God says.
‘Not exactly one, sir, no. There’s various, um, subgroups within the Catholics. You’ve got the Maronite Church, the Melkites, the Ruthenian – or Byzantine – Catholic Church, the Chaldeans, the –’
‘Look, what’s the difference?’ God asks.
‘Well, they mainly believe that the Pope is your representative on earth –’
‘Fuck me,’ God says.
‘But,’ Matthew continues, ‘there are differences of theological emphasis concerning, er, things like, say, the Latin depiction of purgatory.
‘Who,’ God says, pouring more coffee, ‘gives a drop of fucking piss about the Latin depiction of purgatory?’
‘A fine point, sir. However, some seem to. Then there’s things like the Patriarchal Exarchate for Orthodox Parishes of Russian Tradition in Western Europe, there’s Oriental Orthodox Churches – as you’ll remember they didn’t accept the Council of Chalcedon back in 451 – the Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria, Jacobite Syrian Christian Church, the Malankara Orthodox Syrian Church, Eritrean Orthodox Tewahedo Church, Assyrian Church of the East . . . Mariavite Church, Palmarian Catholic
Church, True Catholic Church, Liberal Catholic Church, Chinese Patriotic Catholic Association, Catholic Charismatic Church of Canada, Communion of Christ the Redeemer, the –’
‘These are all still the Catholics?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Skip forward,’ God says. Matthew’s voice, literally driving everyone insane.
‘Well . . . then there’s the Protestants. Within that you have Presbyterians, Baptists, Anabaptists, Methodists, Pentecostalists, Episcopalians, Charismatics, Neo-Charismatics and the, um, Lutherans.’
‘Right. Thank y—’
‘And within those groups there’s the likes of the Apostolic Lutheran Church of America, the Confessional Evangelical Lutheran Conference, the Remonstrant Brotherhood, the Confederation of Reformed Evangelical Churches, the Upper Cumberland Presbyterian Church – this list is by no means exhaustive by the way –’
God disagreed. He was already exhausted.
‘Then there’s the Amish – you’ve got Swartzentruber Amish, Old Order Amish, Nebraska Amish, Beachy Amish, then the Hutterites, the Bruderhof Communities, Abecedarians, no, hang on, they’re extinct, sorry, the Mennonites, and, within that, the Chortitzer Mennonite Conference, Holdeman Mennonites, Evangelical Mennonites. The Methodists – Christian Methodist Episcopal Church, Free Methodists, United Methodists, Primitive Methodists. The Baptists – Old Time Missionary Baptists, Regular Baptists, Old Regular Baptists, Progressive Baptists, Separate Baptists, Separate Baptists in Christ, Seventh-Day Baptists, Southeast Baptist Convention, Southern Baptists of Texas, Free Will Baptists, Bible Baptists, Conservative Baptist Association of America, Primitive Baptists, Black Primitive Baptists, the Norwegian Baptist Union and, um . . . the Interstate and Foreign Landmark Missionary Baptist Association.’
‘That’s it?’
‘For the Baptists. Then there’s the Brethren – United Brethren, Free Evangelical Brethren, Plymouth Brethren, the Pentecostals – Church of the Little Children of Jesus Christ, Fire Baptized Holiness Church of God of the Americas –’
‘Hang on,’ God says, stubbing a joint out. ‘The Fire Baptized Holiness Church of God of the Americas? Are you making this fucking shit up?’
‘No, sir. The God is Love Pentecostal Church, Church of God Jerusalem Acres, Church of God with Signs Following . . .’
Jesus – asleep now.
‘. . . Church of God of the Original Mountain Assembly, Potter’s House of Christian Fellowship. The Charismatics – Calvary Chapel, Charismatic Church of God, City Harvest Church, Jesus Army, Ministries of His Glory, New Frontiers, True Jesus Church, New Birth Movement, New Life Fellowship, uh, sorry, the last few were actually Neo-Charismatic. The Quakers, the Stone-Campbell Movement, the Millerites, Southcottites, Seventh-Day Adventists, the Mormons, they believe your son visited Salt
Lake City in Utah at some point where he ministered to –’ Hey, dufus,’ God says to Jesus, who is snoring lightly. God throws a pencil at him, getting him on the forehead and causing him to snap awake.
‘Uh, what?’
‘Were you ever in Salt Lake City?’
‘Is, is, this about that girl? Look, she said she was eighteen. I –’
‘Forget it,’ God says, waving a hand for Matthew to continue.
‘. . . ministered to the, uh, Nephites. Then there’s the Latter-Day Saints, the Prairie Saint denominations – Hedrickites, Bickertonites, Cutlerites, Strangites and so on. Then there’s the more out there stuff like the
Christadelphians, Christian Scientists, Spirit-Wrestlers, Subbotniks, Molokans, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Swedenborgians, the –’
‘OK, OK,’ God holds up a hand. ‘Matthew, please, shut the fuck up. Cut to the chase, OK? How many of these sons of bitches in total?’
‘Different Christian denominations? Um . . .’ Matthew consults his notes, ‘a little over 38,000.’
A long silence before God says ‘Fuck me’ once again.
No one’s arguing with that and, after another long moment of silence, God asks, ‘How did they get so caught up in the worshipping thing? I mean, do they think I care if they believe in me or not?’"
***
"‘Creationism?’ God says. ‘What’s that?
‘Right,’ Andrew says, already laughing, ‘there’s these bams doon there, mostly in America, right, they’re aff their fucken heeds, so they are, Boss, but check this oot, ye’ll no believe it, these cunts believe that the earth is aboot ten thousand years old.’
God looking at him, not understanding. ‘What do you mean “believe”?’
‘Ah mean,’ Andrew says, ‘they believe it. They took the ages of every cunt in the fucking Bible and added them up back to Adam and Eve and that’s how they reckon the age o’ the fucking earth. Ten thoosand years.’
Another long pause before God explodes with laughter.
God’s laugh – you really have to hear it. It’s the most infectious, throaty cackle ever. After a minute everyone is howling so hard that Jeannie pops her head around the door to check everything’s OK. Fuelled by the spliffs, soon God is on His knees on the carpet with tears of mirth streaming down his face. ‘Oh, no, oh, I . . . I . . .’ God is saying, gasping for breath, ‘oxygen, need oxygen.’
Ten thousand years!’ Jesus repeats. ‘Oh man.’
‘No, stop it!’ Peter says.
‘But . . . but . . . what about the rocks?’ God asks, fighting to speak. ‘The fossils? Haven’t they figured out carbon dating yet?’
‘They have, they have,’ Matthew says. Even Matthew is crying with laughter.
‘But,’ Andrew says, ‘check this oot – the Creationists say you created the earth with the appearance of age, so people would think it was older than it was!’
‘AHHHHAHHHAAHHH!’ God is helpless with mirth now, banging the desk with His fist. ‘You, you mean I gave it a . . . a nice antique-y feel?’
Everyone screaming with laughter."
***
But where –’ he stops and turns to JC – ‘where is your church?’
‘Come on, Pastor,’ Jesus says, absent-mindedly toying with a sprig of rosemary he’s picked out the ground. No disrespect, I’m sure you’re, ah, really into, ah, whatever it is you do, but what do I, what do we, want with a church?’
‘Salvation, my son.’
Jesus laughs. ‘Do you really think – and excuse my language in advance – that God gives a squirt of piss if you worship Him or not? I mean, it’s like the Rolling Stones, OK? The Rolling Stones. On a Stones tour there are hundreds of people on the road: truck drivers, set designers, carpenters,
electricians, caterers, guitar technicians, production people, personal assistants, humpers, teamsters, sound and lighting guys. Do you think Mick Jagger gives a shit whether or not the dude who helped carry a speaker onto the stage in Philadelphia, or the guy who picked up litter in London after the show, do you think Mick cares what that guy thinks about him?’
‘I . . . to say that is to try and make a mockery of everything I believe in.’
‘So if you believe a bunch of shit people aren’t allowed to mock it?’
‘One must respect the beliefs of others.’
‘Why?’
‘Why?’
‘Yeah. Why should I respect your bunch of shit? Because you say so? Come on, if you really believe it what do you care what I think?’
‘The atheist –’ the Pastor begins.
‘Are you outta your mind?’ Jesus cuts back in. ‘Of course I’m not an atheist. I have kissed the face of God, Pastor. And –’
‘Blasphemy.’
‘– and lemme tell you, He’d kick your ass clean across the room for half the crap you believe.’
March 7, 2018
Blasphemic dark humor
An extremely provocative and funny work, definitively not for everyone because of the blasphemy level brought to maximum anathema capacity, but putting its rhetoric fingers deep into the stigmata and soring wounds of institutionalized sects.
Try free speech on faith
It´s an important work, because everything should be said and talked about, as long as no real humans get harmed, and destroying the foundations of the most dangerous thing, ideology in all its faithful, economic, political, etc. forms is something permanently underrepresented in mainstream entertainment. Because, strangely, still so many just seemingly enlightened people believe and thereby destabilize peace, democracy, and especially equality and tolerance.
Bigoted cognitive biases
That´s why I have none of both for the bigoted relativists who think that such works could hurt poor, helpless believers, they are the same ones who cry out loud against activists who fight racism, misogyny, social injustice, destruction of the planet, etc. The funny irony is that they wouldn´t even dare to talk about the hot, controversial topics in books such as this although they are thinking about heaven, hell, and death, in general, all the time, but don´t want any grain of real, not strangely metaphysical and not graspable topic so hot that they wouldn´t dare to touch it with pincers. Topics such as the death penalty, holy war, abortion, euthanasia, or even, worst oh my gosh, atheism, nihilism, and agnosticism in their indoctrination soup.
Enjoyment for nihilists, agnostics, atheists, and aspirants
The book is a total must read for the ones who like their unconventional comedy dirty, dark, and bloody, who like to think about the intelligent premise of what might happen if, and that it´s totally realistic that humankind would react similarly as described in this amazing work.
Not as extreme versions of this are Christopher Moores´ Lamb
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
and even much direct religious criticism in nonfiction, which shows how wonderfully hardcore this thing is.
An extremely provocative and funny work, definitively not for everyone because of the blasphemy level brought to maximum anathema capacity, but putting its rhetoric fingers deep into the stigmata and soring wounds of institutionalized sects.
Try free speech on faith
It´s an important work, because everything should be said and talked about, as long as no real humans get harmed, and destroying the foundations of the most dangerous thing, ideology in all its faithful, economic, political, etc. forms is something permanently underrepresented in mainstream entertainment. Because, strangely, still so many just seemingly enlightened people believe and thereby destabilize peace, democracy, and especially equality and tolerance.
Bigoted cognitive biases
That´s why I have none of both for the bigoted relativists who think that such works could hurt poor, helpless believers, they are the same ones who cry out loud against activists who fight racism, misogyny, social injustice, destruction of the planet, etc. The funny irony is that they wouldn´t even dare to talk about the hot, controversial topics in books such as this although they are thinking about heaven, hell, and death, in general, all the time, but don´t want any grain of real, not strangely metaphysical and not graspable topic so hot that they wouldn´t dare to touch it with pincers. Topics such as the death penalty, holy war, abortion, euthanasia, or even, worst oh my gosh, atheism, nihilism, and agnosticism in their indoctrination soup.
Enjoyment for nihilists, agnostics, atheists, and aspirants
The book is a total must read for the ones who like their unconventional comedy dirty, dark, and bloody, who like to think about the intelligent premise of what might happen if, and that it´s totally realistic that humankind would react similarly as described in this amazing work.
Not as extreme versions of this are Christopher Moores´ Lamb
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
and even much direct religious criticism in nonfiction, which shows how wonderfully hardcore this thing is.
January 27, 2019
Partiamo da un presupposto: io non sono religiosa, lo ero da bambina, ho fatto persino la Cresima, ma crescendo mi sono allontanata sempre di più dalla Chiesa, arrivando ad oggi a non credervi più per nulla. Faccio questa premessa più che altro per dire che a me il libro è piaciuto molto, ma non credo sia una lettura adatta a tutti, in particolare i ferventi cattolici potrebbero avere un malore già dopo poche pagine.
Devo dire che ho iniziato questo libro con aspettative contrastanti: da una parte c’era la mia precedente lettura di Niven, Le solite sospette, che non mi era piaciuta più di tanto, dall’altra mio fratello, che mentre leggeva questo libro sentivo ridere dalla parte opposta della casa. Per cui è stata una lettura decisamente al di sopra delle aspettative.
Ho trovato il libro irriverente al punto giusto, senza esagerare, ma soprattutto l’ho trovato molto profondo.
È stata infatti una lettura in grado di farmi ridere come una pazza, con tanto di lacrime agli occhi, ma allo stesso tempo è stato in grado di non farmi perdere il focus dal mondo che veniva mostrato, un mondo dove regna la falsità e dove i ricchi hanno tutto il potere, un mondo dove odio e razzismo nei confronti di tutto e tutti regnano incontrastati, soprattutto tra quelli che si definiscono buoni cristiani e agiscono nel nome della fede. La capacità di Niven è stata quella di riuscire a demolire tutte queste idee buoniste ripercorrendo, ma rimodernando, la vita di Cristo, senza strafare o inventarsi chissà quali strane avventure perché il messaggio del protagonista potesse passare. E così Gesù si circonda dei poveri e dei disadattati, dal soldato della guerra in Vietnam abbandonato sul ciglio della strada e schifato da tutti al ragazzo gay con l’HIV, portato via dalle grinfie di un gruppo di ferventi religiosi che lo considerano un abominio.
Nel complesso un libro che mi è piaciuto molto, in cui la vera fede mostrata, quella in cui l’unico comandamento è Fate i bravi , ti fa venir voglia di credere in quel qualcosa di superiore a tutti noi.
Devo dire che ho iniziato questo libro con aspettative contrastanti: da una parte c’era la mia precedente lettura di Niven, Le solite sospette, che non mi era piaciuta più di tanto, dall’altra mio fratello, che mentre leggeva questo libro sentivo ridere dalla parte opposta della casa. Per cui è stata una lettura decisamente al di sopra delle aspettative.
Ho trovato il libro irriverente al punto giusto, senza esagerare, ma soprattutto l’ho trovato molto profondo.
È stata infatti una lettura in grado di farmi ridere come una pazza, con tanto di lacrime agli occhi, ma allo stesso tempo è stato in grado di non farmi perdere il focus dal mondo che veniva mostrato, un mondo dove regna la falsità e dove i ricchi hanno tutto il potere, un mondo dove odio e razzismo nei confronti di tutto e tutti regnano incontrastati, soprattutto tra quelli che si definiscono buoni cristiani e agiscono nel nome della fede. La capacità di Niven è stata quella di riuscire a demolire tutte queste idee buoniste ripercorrendo, ma rimodernando, la vita di Cristo, senza strafare o inventarsi chissà quali strane avventure perché il messaggio del protagonista potesse passare. E così Gesù si circonda dei poveri e dei disadattati, dal soldato della guerra in Vietnam abbandonato sul ciglio della strada e schifato da tutti al ragazzo gay con l’HIV, portato via dalle grinfie di un gruppo di ferventi religiosi che lo considerano un abominio.
Nel complesso un libro che mi è piaciuto molto, in cui la vera fede mostrata, quella in cui l’unico comandamento è Fate i bravi , ti fa venir voglia di credere in quel qualcosa di superiore a tutti noi.
October 13, 2018
Rarely nowadays do I finish a book in a day, but this one had me harking back to the days when I would regularly do this. It hooked me and sucked me in, and I read it in a couple of lengthy sittings. It is a little patchy in places and perhaps seeks to shock just a bit too much at times, but these are small flaws in an excellent book.
God comes back from a fishing trip (lasting 400 earth years) and is not happy with the mess humans are making of the earth - when he left to go on his holiday the Renaissance was shaping up nicely. He sends his son back to sort it out. JC lands up in New York, and we meet him aged 32, a failed musician on the edge of society.
JC is a laid back guitar playing dopehead (he jammed with Jimi Hendrix in heaven). He has a pleasant demeanour and an honesty and integrity that unsettles people. He soon gathers a bunch of misfits, dropouts and outcasts around him and they embark on an exhilarating journey finding fame, wealth and death.
Funny, dark, scabrous, irreligious, caustic and cutting - and also warm and wise, this book undercuts the rotten foundations of much of today's culture and community.
I particularly liked the portrayal of God as a toke taking, whiskey swilling, cigar smoking bon viveur with a visceral dislike of militant Christians in general and Catholics in particular. The scene in hell where the Holy Joes get what they deserve is eyewateringly funny.
If you are precious about religion this is not a book for you.
God comes back from a fishing trip (lasting 400 earth years) and is not happy with the mess humans are making of the earth - when he left to go on his holiday the Renaissance was shaping up nicely. He sends his son back to sort it out. JC lands up in New York, and we meet him aged 32, a failed musician on the edge of society.
JC is a laid back guitar playing dopehead (he jammed with Jimi Hendrix in heaven). He has a pleasant demeanour and an honesty and integrity that unsettles people. He soon gathers a bunch of misfits, dropouts and outcasts around him and they embark on an exhilarating journey finding fame, wealth and death.
Funny, dark, scabrous, irreligious, caustic and cutting - and also warm and wise, this book undercuts the rotten foundations of much of today's culture and community.
I particularly liked the portrayal of God as a toke taking, whiskey swilling, cigar smoking bon viveur with a visceral dislike of militant Christians in general and Catholics in particular. The scene in hell where the Holy Joes get what they deserve is eyewateringly funny.
If you are precious about religion this is not a book for you.
March 29, 2019
Videorecensione: https://youtu.be/DB4jMvgygOY
October 10, 2016
L'inizio non è stato dei migliori: una parodia che ha il suo punto forte nel personaggio di Dio che dice parolacce a tutto spiano e non disdegna le canne. Ho immaginato una lettura noiosa con toni eccessivamente sopra le righe. Invece, mi sono trovata coinvolta nella storia di Gesù Cristo e del suo entourage di emarginati: intendiamoci nessuna rivelazione e una trama che si svolge come da copione, ma scorrevole e rilassante; se credessi che esistono libri da ombrellone e libri per tutto il resto dell'anno, classificherei questo con la prima etichetta anche se potrebbe essere letto benissimo sotto l'albero di Natale, tanto per festeggiare come si deve il compleanno di Gesù.
August 15, 2014
A VOLTE RITORNO
Ecco il Gesù che tutti vogliono. John Niven, se solo non avesse questo cognome dalle riminiscenze così hollywoodiane, che il Signore lo abbia in gloria, ha scritto un testo tra i più fantastici che abbia letto negli ultimi anni. E dire che leggo un centinaio di libri l'anno, 10 più, 10 meno. Sa miscelare misticismo e populismo, spiritualità e bassezze, musica e letteratura, catarsi e miseria, ecologismo e riciclismo, rivincita e demagogia, guerra e amore, depressione e lieto fine nelle dosi che piacciono al pubblico lettore. Gesù VINCE. Dio VINCE. Mi colpì la copertina: da sempre attratta dalla bellezza maschile, vi è il primo piano di un modello che definire divino è un eufemismo. Ovviamente dotato di aureola. A dire il vero, le prime 65 pagine, raggruppate sotto il titolo PARADISO, sono un tantino stucchevoli. Santi che si danno pacche sulle spalle, Jimi che fa jamming con Gesù, Dio al ritorno da una vacanza di qualche migliaio di anni, gli apostoli si struggono di gioia e serenità. Mai Paradiso fu più banale e scontato, tonnellate di marjiuana a parte. Eppure, c'è subito un click. La scena successiva è a New York. Gesù è alla guida di una banda di dropout per saccheggiare spazzatura. Eh sì, la spazzatura dei supermercati è costituita da cibarie ancora fresche, non scadute, solo ammaccate o dalle confezioni troppo rovinate per essere poste in vendita. Lui lo sa (per forza, è il figlio di Dio) e guida i suoi diseredati all'approvvigionamento più bieco. Conoscessi di più il Vangelo, riconoscerei ogni figura negli apostoli, ma ormai conquistata dalla potenza di Niven, mi fido e proseguo in un soffio. Il libro è costituito da 380 pagine. Le prime 300 le leggo in una notte. Gesù è dipinto come novello Kurt Cobain che partecipa e stravince (moralmente) un talent reality. Lascia lo scettro a quello dopo di lui e si ritira in Culolandia a beneficiare dei suoi successi economici. Fonda una comune di sballoni e sembra vivere in serenità. Invece no. Un gomblotto di istituzioni care al Sogno Americano riescono ad inchiodarlo alla croce mediatica, ottenendone la condanna a morte. La bellezza di un libro, eh sì BELLEZZA: non efficacia, stile, narrazione. Bellezza proprio, è data dal finale. Qui, dove lungo lo snodarsi della narrazione è continuo il riferimento a droghe, allucinogeni, stupefacenti, è strepitoso: si riferisce alla “roba” migliore che l'uomo sia mai stato capace di farsi. La letteratura.
Ecco il Gesù che tutti vogliono. John Niven, se solo non avesse questo cognome dalle riminiscenze così hollywoodiane, che il Signore lo abbia in gloria, ha scritto un testo tra i più fantastici che abbia letto negli ultimi anni. E dire che leggo un centinaio di libri l'anno, 10 più, 10 meno. Sa miscelare misticismo e populismo, spiritualità e bassezze, musica e letteratura, catarsi e miseria, ecologismo e riciclismo, rivincita e demagogia, guerra e amore, depressione e lieto fine nelle dosi che piacciono al pubblico lettore. Gesù VINCE. Dio VINCE. Mi colpì la copertina: da sempre attratta dalla bellezza maschile, vi è il primo piano di un modello che definire divino è un eufemismo. Ovviamente dotato di aureola. A dire il vero, le prime 65 pagine, raggruppate sotto il titolo PARADISO, sono un tantino stucchevoli. Santi che si danno pacche sulle spalle, Jimi che fa jamming con Gesù, Dio al ritorno da una vacanza di qualche migliaio di anni, gli apostoli si struggono di gioia e serenità. Mai Paradiso fu più banale e scontato, tonnellate di marjiuana a parte. Eppure, c'è subito un click. La scena successiva è a New York. Gesù è alla guida di una banda di dropout per saccheggiare spazzatura. Eh sì, la spazzatura dei supermercati è costituita da cibarie ancora fresche, non scadute, solo ammaccate o dalle confezioni troppo rovinate per essere poste in vendita. Lui lo sa (per forza, è il figlio di Dio) e guida i suoi diseredati all'approvvigionamento più bieco. Conoscessi di più il Vangelo, riconoscerei ogni figura negli apostoli, ma ormai conquistata dalla potenza di Niven, mi fido e proseguo in un soffio. Il libro è costituito da 380 pagine. Le prime 300 le leggo in una notte. Gesù è dipinto come novello Kurt Cobain che partecipa e stravince (moralmente) un talent reality. Lascia lo scettro a quello dopo di lui e si ritira in Culolandia a beneficiare dei suoi successi economici. Fonda una comune di sballoni e sembra vivere in serenità. Invece no. Un gomblotto di istituzioni care al Sogno Americano riescono ad inchiodarlo alla croce mediatica, ottenendone la condanna a morte. La bellezza di un libro, eh sì BELLEZZA: non efficacia, stile, narrazione. Bellezza proprio, è data dal finale. Qui, dove lungo lo snodarsi della narrazione è continuo il riferimento a droghe, allucinogeni, stupefacenti, è strepitoso: si riferisce alla “roba” migliore che l'uomo sia mai stato capace di farsi. La letteratura.
April 23, 2015
Many moons ago I read Kill Your Friends and I loved it, so I am not sure why it took me so long to read another book by John Niven however I have now, and I am very glad that I finally got round to it.
If you’re religious, and easily offended, then avoid this book. If you dislike profanity then avoid this book.
Conversely, if you enjoy perceptive humour that nails many a sacred cow, and that simultaneously manages to be perceptive, quietly profound, compelling, original, amusing and outrageous then make time for The Second Coming.
It's tough being a saint in the city, even when you're the son of God, back again, this time in modern day America, to show humanity how God wants us to behave. That divine message is just two words “Be Nice”.
The less you know about the plot the better. I devoured it.
5/5
If you’re religious, and easily offended, then avoid this book. If you dislike profanity then avoid this book.
Conversely, if you enjoy perceptive humour that nails many a sacred cow, and that simultaneously manages to be perceptive, quietly profound, compelling, original, amusing and outrageous then make time for The Second Coming.
It's tough being a saint in the city, even when you're the son of God, back again, this time in modern day America, to show humanity how God wants us to behave. That divine message is just two words “Be Nice”.
The less you know about the plot the better. I devoured it.
5/5
November 9, 2014
E’ fondamentalmente una cretinata, ma, a suo modo, è una cretinata simpatica. E qualche cartuccia niente male la mette anche a segno, tutto sommato.
“Fate i bravi”, vah, perché, a quanto pare, quel malato di protagonismo che era Mosé le ha sparate davvero grosse. Dio intendeva tutt’altro. Infatti, poi, gli ha fatto un culo così!
Letteratura. Quella sì era roba buona. Bello che l’avessero inventata.
“Fate i bravi”, vah, perché, a quanto pare, quel malato di protagonismo che era Mosé le ha sparate davvero grosse. Dio intendeva tutt’altro. Infatti, poi, gli ha fatto un culo così!
Letteratura. Quella sì era roba buona. Bello che l’avessero inventata.
December 17, 2024
Ist schon länger her, aber hat mir Spaß gemacht, würde 3,5🌟 vergeben. Jesus kommt zurück auf die Erde in unsere Zeit, um mal wieder aufzuräumen.
Das hatte seinen Reiz für mich und es war nicht mein erster Niven, daher war ich schon auf die Mischung aus Klamauk und Tragikomik vorbereitet.
Ich glaube wenn sich ein Autor entscheidet, Jesus als Figur in unsere Zeit zu verpflanzen, ist die Satire vermutlich am einfachsten umzusetzen, weil jeder ernsthafte Ansatz bedroht wäre, auf der Peinlichkeitsskala ganz weit nach oben zu driften und irgendwann unfreiwillig komisch oder gar lächerlich zu werden.
Natürlich kann auch die Satire scheitern. Aber dieses Handwerk versteht Niven. Es gelingt ihm ganz gut, man kann seinem Jesus-Hippie mit einigem Amüsement folgen und hin und wieder auch lauthals lachen. Und Niven schafft es auch mal etwas ernstere Töne glaubwürdig rüberzubringen. Also alles in allem Ok-Unterhaltung mit streckenweise etwas zu klamaukigem Sound.
Apropos Sound: Niven existiert für mich ausschließlich als Hörbuch Autor. Ich würde nie auf die Idee kommen, etwas in gedruckter Form von ihm lesen zu wollen, dazu sind mir seine Bücher zu leichtgewichtig als Literatur, aber als Vorlesematerial eignen sie sich wunderbar. Ähnliches trifft für mich auch auf Matt Haig oder Virginie Despentes zu, die ich genremässig im gleichen Regal ablegen würde. Von den dreien würde ich allerdings Niven bevorzugen.
Das hatte seinen Reiz für mich und es war nicht mein erster Niven, daher war ich schon auf die Mischung aus Klamauk und Tragikomik vorbereitet.
Ich glaube wenn sich ein Autor entscheidet, Jesus als Figur in unsere Zeit zu verpflanzen, ist die Satire vermutlich am einfachsten umzusetzen, weil jeder ernsthafte Ansatz bedroht wäre, auf der Peinlichkeitsskala ganz weit nach oben zu driften und irgendwann unfreiwillig komisch oder gar lächerlich zu werden.
Natürlich kann auch die Satire scheitern. Aber dieses Handwerk versteht Niven. Es gelingt ihm ganz gut, man kann seinem Jesus-Hippie mit einigem Amüsement folgen und hin und wieder auch lauthals lachen. Und Niven schafft es auch mal etwas ernstere Töne glaubwürdig rüberzubringen. Also alles in allem Ok-Unterhaltung mit streckenweise etwas zu klamaukigem Sound.
Apropos Sound: Niven existiert für mich ausschließlich als Hörbuch Autor. Ich würde nie auf die Idee kommen, etwas in gedruckter Form von ihm lesen zu wollen, dazu sind mir seine Bücher zu leichtgewichtig als Literatur, aber als Vorlesematerial eignen sie sich wunderbar. Ähnliches trifft für mich auch auf Matt Haig oder Virginie Despentes zu, die ich genremässig im gleichen Regal ablegen würde. Von den dreien würde ich allerdings Niven bevorzugen.
July 15, 2011
God comes back from his fishing holiday to find that since he's been gone (a few days in Heaven but centuries on Earth) things have gone badly. Looking at what he's missed, He particularly doesn't like the 20th century. God makes up his mind to send Jesus back down to Earth to remind everyone of his one and only rule - "Be Nice" - a rule that Moses decided to ignore and come up with 10 of his own.
Down on Earth, Jesus is 31 years old, in a band, something of a stoner, and being nice to everyone. And then one day "American Pop Star" starts looking for new contestants and Jesus decides to audition. What better way to tell people to "Be Nice" than on the platform of the biggest show on television? After getting accepted, there's a road trip to LA, the rise of Jesus as a music phenomenon, and the inevitable ending...
There was so much I liked about this book. First off, while the opening chapters in Heaven might seem a bit too cartoonish, John Niven quickly establishes strong characters in God and Jesus, the biting dialogue shooting back and forth. Then the dinner in Hell with the Devil was an utterly marvellous scene, the Devil being a superb character in Niven's hands, I would've liked to have seen more of him. You can tell Niven had a fun time populating Hell with some of humanity's latest horrors, now deceased. What he has Hitler doing is especially funny but not as brutal as some of the KKK members or hypocritical Christians.
Speaking of excellent characters, Jesus goes from being a Bill-and-Ted-type stoner to a more rounded person as the chapters fly by and I ended up really liking him. He's funny, well grounded, and is basically a good dude. Niven doesn't have him be overly preachy, or overly good, just be a decent person. And on the flip side is Steven Stelfox (the name is the only thing separating this character from Simon Cowell) who is the nasty British judge on American Pop Star. His rants and screaming sessions before and after the shows were particularly brilliant and reminded me of some of the scenes from Niven's last novel, the superb "Kill Your Friends".
I could write 2000 words on what I liked about this book easily but I'll keep it short. The scenes on the road trip from New York to LA were fantastic, clever, and touching; the scenes on American Pop Star were exciting and funny; and the scenes following in Texas shows Niven's ability to go from comedy to drama to high octane action effortlessly - Niven is a true master of fiction and this book showcases his abilities fantastically.
And the music! You wouldn't believe how well Niven writes music, about how it's performed, how it sounds, without even needing to hear it, you hear it on the page, and it's exhilarating!
I recently read another "Jesus returns!"-type story called "The Final Testament of the Holy Bible" by James Frey, and while that was a decent book, I felt it took itself too seriously and that this lack of humour spoiled the overall message of the book. John Niven's "The Second Coming" is different in that it doesn't question the basics of Christianity - there is a Heaven and Hell, a God and Devil, etc - but it does question some of the dogma of the religion and does so with humour and intelligence. More importantly, it's never repetitive or predictable (except for the end of course), and never once was I bored reading it.
If you're looking for a good book this Easter, hell anytime of the year!, you couldn't do much better than "The Second Coming".
Down on Earth, Jesus is 31 years old, in a band, something of a stoner, and being nice to everyone. And then one day "American Pop Star" starts looking for new contestants and Jesus decides to audition. What better way to tell people to "Be Nice" than on the platform of the biggest show on television? After getting accepted, there's a road trip to LA, the rise of Jesus as a music phenomenon, and the inevitable ending...
There was so much I liked about this book. First off, while the opening chapters in Heaven might seem a bit too cartoonish, John Niven quickly establishes strong characters in God and Jesus, the biting dialogue shooting back and forth. Then the dinner in Hell with the Devil was an utterly marvellous scene, the Devil being a superb character in Niven's hands, I would've liked to have seen more of him. You can tell Niven had a fun time populating Hell with some of humanity's latest horrors, now deceased. What he has Hitler doing is especially funny but not as brutal as some of the KKK members or hypocritical Christians.
Speaking of excellent characters, Jesus goes from being a Bill-and-Ted-type stoner to a more rounded person as the chapters fly by and I ended up really liking him. He's funny, well grounded, and is basically a good dude. Niven doesn't have him be overly preachy, or overly good, just be a decent person. And on the flip side is Steven Stelfox (the name is the only thing separating this character from Simon Cowell) who is the nasty British judge on American Pop Star. His rants and screaming sessions before and after the shows were particularly brilliant and reminded me of some of the scenes from Niven's last novel, the superb "Kill Your Friends".
I could write 2000 words on what I liked about this book easily but I'll keep it short. The scenes on the road trip from New York to LA were fantastic, clever, and touching; the scenes on American Pop Star were exciting and funny; and the scenes following in Texas shows Niven's ability to go from comedy to drama to high octane action effortlessly - Niven is a true master of fiction and this book showcases his abilities fantastically.
And the music! You wouldn't believe how well Niven writes music, about how it's performed, how it sounds, without even needing to hear it, you hear it on the page, and it's exhilarating!
I recently read another "Jesus returns!"-type story called "The Final Testament of the Holy Bible" by James Frey, and while that was a decent book, I felt it took itself too seriously and that this lack of humour spoiled the overall message of the book. John Niven's "The Second Coming" is different in that it doesn't question the basics of Christianity - there is a Heaven and Hell, a God and Devil, etc - but it does question some of the dogma of the religion and does so with humour and intelligence. More importantly, it's never repetitive or predictable (except for the end of course), and never once was I bored reading it.
If you're looking for a good book this Easter, hell anytime of the year!, you couldn't do much better than "The Second Coming".
August 31, 2025
The first part was totally fun, back in Heaven with JC, God and the others.
Then came the second coming and... I was bored all along. It dragged on and I laughed less and less till I stopped laughing. The last two parts were downers.
I wish it were something else. The promise is excellent but the rendering is not up to it.
Then came the second coming and... I was bored all along. It dragged on and I laughed less and less till I stopped laughing. The last two parts were downers.
I wish it were something else. The promise is excellent but the rendering is not up to it.
January 12, 2020
C'è questo cazzo di libro, no? dalla copertina potete già immaginare ogni cosa intrappolati come siamo in un piccolo mondo intriso di cristianesimo. oh il volto vi incanta, come da manuale biblico, i riccioli biondi, il carisma e la sensazione di profonda pace che diffonde attorno. Cazzo, Gesù Cristo! Che?! ho già scritto 'cazzo' due volte? Mbè?! pure dio dice le parolacce e si fa le canne e ama i froci e non giudica nessuno, manco satana all'inferno con tutti i suoi giochetti sado e pure maso certe volte, quando è triste e incazzato per i numeri in entrata che calano!
Comunque dio, tu sacrifichi tuo figlio per la seconda volta perché sai che ti ritorna comunque tutto intero allo scadere delle 33esimo anno, se no...col cazzo! Vi ho spoilerato la fine, ma non è colpa mia, giuro, basta aver frequentato il catechismo e già sapete. Come da copione, dopo 3 giorni Gesù torna a casa da paparino e tutti i santi a bisbocciare a cannoni&champagne, mentre ci lascia a soffrire sul pianeta con una unica indicazione per niente esaustiva tipo 'fate i bravi', roba che dicevo ai miei figli lasciandoli sulla soglia dell'asilo per cui sarei pure preparatissima in questo comandamento!
Ho sorriso molto in queste vacanze leggendolo, nonostante talent show e tempeste perfette, al cui confronto pure satana era più simpatico! Ho sorriso molto, dai, del resto è natale ed io faccio sempre la brava a natale, ecchecc...fortuna!
Comunque dio, tu sacrifichi tuo figlio per la seconda volta perché sai che ti ritorna comunque tutto intero allo scadere delle 33esimo anno, se no...col cazzo! Vi ho spoilerato la fine, ma non è colpa mia, giuro, basta aver frequentato il catechismo e già sapete. Come da copione, dopo 3 giorni Gesù torna a casa da paparino e tutti i santi a bisbocciare a cannoni&champagne, mentre ci lascia a soffrire sul pianeta con una unica indicazione per niente esaustiva tipo 'fate i bravi', roba che dicevo ai miei figli lasciandoli sulla soglia dell'asilo per cui sarei pure preparatissima in questo comandamento!
Ho sorriso molto in queste vacanze leggendolo, nonostante talent show e tempeste perfette, al cui confronto pure satana era più simpatico! Ho sorriso molto, dai, del resto è natale ed io faccio sempre la brava a natale, ecchecc...fortuna!
December 12, 2012
Ich habe mir schon mehrmals vorgestellt, was passieren würde, wenn Gottes Sohn wie prophezeit in unsere heutige Welt (zurück)kommen würde. John Niven ist mit diesem Roman eine großartige, ironische, sehr böse Satire gelungen, die ganz schön gehörig an den Grundfesten unserer Gesellschaft, an unseren Werten, allen Religionen, dem Papst, den amerikanischen Christen und am american way of life rüttelt. Sprachlich und inhaltlich ist der Roman excellent, die Story ist ist rasant und keine Sekunde langweilig.
Wer in seinen religiösen Gefühlen sehr leicht beleidigt ist, sollte dieses Werk nicht lesen, aber religiöse Menschen, denen Ironie und Selbstkritik nicht fremd sind, werden wirklich eine außergewöhnliche Erfahrung machen.
So schliesse ich mit dem einzigen Gebot, das wirklich existiert "Seid lieb".
Fazit: Absolute Lesempfehlung von mir. Habe nicht gedacht, dass ich zu Weihnachten noch ein Buch lese, das mit meinem heurigen Favoriten "Er ist wieder da" gleichauf liegt
Wer in seinen religiösen Gefühlen sehr leicht beleidigt ist, sollte dieses Werk nicht lesen, aber religiöse Menschen, denen Ironie und Selbstkritik nicht fremd sind, werden wirklich eine außergewöhnliche Erfahrung machen.
So schliesse ich mit dem einzigen Gebot, das wirklich existiert "Seid lieb".
Fazit: Absolute Lesempfehlung von mir. Habe nicht gedacht, dass ich zu Weihnachten noch ein Buch lese, das mit meinem heurigen Favoriten "Er ist wieder da" gleichauf liegt
July 11, 2024
Comico, esilarante e al contempo riflessivo. Questo libro dissacrante inizia con il ritorno di Dio a lavoro, dopo una vacanzina rilassante per staccare un pò. Può così vedere cos'è successo negli ultimi anni: invenzioni, letteratura e musica ma anche e soprattutto catastrofi. Dio quindi decide di mandare in missione nuovamente suo figlio, Gesù. Inizia così a delinearsi la nuova vita di quest'ultimo: tra ubriaconi, fattoni, musicisti e TV. Una satira che mi ha fatta ridere di gusto e che è una denuncia sociale su quello che l'uomo è stato in grado di fare nel corso degli anni con la "copertura" della religione (massacri, razzismo, omofobia, distruzione). Consigliato principalmente a chi non si scandalizza, anche se specialmente chi si sente offeso dovrebbe leggerlo e ragionarci su, del tipo "Cosa mi scandalizza? E perché dovrebbe?".
Alla fine, l'unico comandamento valido che Dio vorrebbe farci rispettare sarebbe
"FATE I BRAVI"
Alla fine, l'unico comandamento valido che Dio vorrebbe farci rispettare sarebbe
"FATE I BRAVI"
March 22, 2026
younger me would have loved this. 2026 me was kinda bored
December 12, 2014
This was close to great... It was mostly fun to read, well written and it had some crude humor and quite obvious twists of Christian theology.
And that was my main problem with this book: It is right in your face. No subtlety, no not so obvious sarcasm or irony. It was all there, right in the open.
The idea was actually better, than the plot in the end. What would Jesus do, if he came back to earth? Not exactly a fresh and original idea.
And mixing that with having him apply for a talent scouting TV show?
Not exactly mind-blowing.
So it was a nice read, but nothing to write home about.
I was actually a bit disappointed.
And that was my main problem with this book: It is right in your face. No subtlety, no not so obvious sarcasm or irony. It was all there, right in the open.
The idea was actually better, than the plot in the end. What would Jesus do, if he came back to earth? Not exactly a fresh and original idea.
And mixing that with having him apply for a talent scouting TV show?
Not exactly mind-blowing.
So it was a nice read, but nothing to write home about.
I was actually a bit disappointed.
August 3, 2018
Adoro i libri di questo tipo che con intelligenza e sfrontatezza giocano con le religioni mettendo in luce le loro innumerevoli ipocrisie, non limitandosi alla sola critica ma incanalando un messaggio, in questo caso il più importante, ovvero: "Fate i bravi!" 😊
April 24, 2013
A woman saw me reading this book (albeit with a different cover) and asked me if I was reading a book about Jesus. "Yeeeees," I replied hesitantly. "Where can I buy it?" she pushed. I told her Amazon, not disclosing that I got it from Amazon.co.uk because this will never, ever, ever be published in America.
And it's our loss.
What you need to know is the Christians have it all wrong. Moses was an egotist who made up the Ten Commandments himself. All God wanted to say was "just be nice." God LOVES gays. He also loves pot, booze, and swearing.
You don't want to know what's going on in Hell with Ronald Reagan.
Because humans have gone about ruining the beautiful planet in the blink of an eye in Heaven-time (okay, about a week), God decides to give us one more shot by sending Jesus down again. What better way for him to get a national platform than by going on American Idol, facing off against a very thinly veiled Simon Cowell?
This is scathing, hilarious, dark, and a very honest look at how fucked up our world is.
And it's our loss.
What you need to know is the Christians have it all wrong. Moses was an egotist who made up the Ten Commandments himself. All God wanted to say was "just be nice." God LOVES gays. He also loves pot, booze, and swearing.
You don't want to know what's going on in Hell with Ronald Reagan.
Because humans have gone about ruining the beautiful planet in the blink of an eye in Heaven-time (okay, about a week), God decides to give us one more shot by sending Jesus down again. What better way for him to get a national platform than by going on American Idol, facing off against a very thinly veiled Simon Cowell?
This is scathing, hilarious, dark, and a very honest look at how fucked up our world is.
September 30, 2022
Geniale!
March 25, 2018
Su dio condivido in tutto e per tutto Ivan Karamazov: non può esistere un tipo, né in terra né in cielo ( a maggior ragione lassù) che abbia dignità di esistenza finché c’è un solo bambino che soffra sotto le bombe, spiaggiato, affamato, seviziato o semplicemente e innocentemente malato. E seppure esistesse e mi trovassi al suo cospetto gli girerei le spalle rinunciando al suo paradiso.
Con questi pregiudizi sulla categoria, il libro - banalotto nell’elencare tutti i mali elencati quotidianamente nei talk show da chi li provoca e da chi se ne frega – già alle prime pagine mi rompe i cogliazzi con l’assunto di un dio fricchettone in un paradiso simile all’iconografia della Berkley degli anni ’60.
Mi rompe di più procedendo, con la comparsa di un Gesù rimandato sulla terra dal padre strafatto di ottima marjuana, sotto mentite spoglie a metà strada tra un hippy anni ’60 e un barbone degli anni ’90 a New York.
[Anche perché se reincarnazione volessi immaginare non potrebbe che essere quella nel Che, e non solo per la risaputa somiglianza del suo cadavere con quello del Cristo del Mantegna. Entrambi del ramo “guarigione”, entrambi esercitanti la professione di guerriglieri lontani dal luogo di nascita, entrambi osannati da folle che non tendono a scemare nei secoli e nei decenni, entrambi traditi da un amico per ragioni superiori].
Chi me l’ha consigliato (due trentenni ) giuravano ( e giurano) sulla originalità della storia, tutta incentrata su un Cristo rocchettaro con chitarra elettrica(!) che partecipa a un talent show sbaragliando, manco a dirlo, tutti gli altri concorrenti con un repertorio di rock d’annata, di cui al massimo ho riconosciuto due o tre brani. Risate incontenibili, dicono i due citandone i passi a memori oggi a pranzo. O tempora o mores.
I tempi sono cambiati, infatti. Per l’autore, nato nel ’72, la rivoluzione è solo questione di musica. Ai miei tempi era questione di parole e di idee. Quindi incompatibilità assoluta nonostante lisci per il pelo la mia generazione, facendo investire i milioni di dollari del Cristo, guadagnati sul piccolo schermo, nella fondazione di una improbabile comune, nel Texas: un po’ di Kerouac e di Edward Bunker, un po’ di Bruce Springsteen, un po’ ( troppo) di banalità targata “Fate i Bravi”, l’unico vero comandamento sabotato dal grafomane e “ginecologo” Mosè.
L’ avrei dovuto abbandonare, non dico subito, ma almeno a metà.
E invece, dopo una caterva di fior di letteratura che si è arrovellata sulla morte di questo Gesù detto il Cristo, pappatami in tutti questi anni miei (come la maggior parte degli atei, suppongo) ci sono ricascata: ho sperato che almeno stavolta ce la facesse a scampare alla trista sorte, leggendolo fino all’ultimo sgangherato rigo.
Che sia questo merito dello scrittore? Beh, tre stellette ma assolutamente sconsigliato.
Con questi pregiudizi sulla categoria, il libro - banalotto nell’elencare tutti i mali elencati quotidianamente nei talk show da chi li provoca e da chi se ne frega – già alle prime pagine mi rompe i cogliazzi con l’assunto di un dio fricchettone in un paradiso simile all’iconografia della Berkley degli anni ’60.
Mi rompe di più procedendo, con la comparsa di un Gesù rimandato sulla terra dal padre strafatto di ottima marjuana, sotto mentite spoglie a metà strada tra un hippy anni ’60 e un barbone degli anni ’90 a New York.
[Anche perché se reincarnazione volessi immaginare non potrebbe che essere quella nel Che, e non solo per la risaputa somiglianza del suo cadavere con quello del Cristo del Mantegna. Entrambi del ramo “guarigione”, entrambi esercitanti la professione di guerriglieri lontani dal luogo di nascita, entrambi osannati da folle che non tendono a scemare nei secoli e nei decenni, entrambi traditi da un amico per ragioni superiori].
Chi me l’ha consigliato (due trentenni ) giuravano ( e giurano) sulla originalità della storia, tutta incentrata su un Cristo rocchettaro con chitarra elettrica(!) che partecipa a un talent show sbaragliando, manco a dirlo, tutti gli altri concorrenti con un repertorio di rock d’annata, di cui al massimo ho riconosciuto due o tre brani. Risate incontenibili, dicono i due citandone i passi a memori oggi a pranzo. O tempora o mores.
I tempi sono cambiati, infatti. Per l’autore, nato nel ’72, la rivoluzione è solo questione di musica. Ai miei tempi era questione di parole e di idee. Quindi incompatibilità assoluta nonostante lisci per il pelo la mia generazione, facendo investire i milioni di dollari del Cristo, guadagnati sul piccolo schermo, nella fondazione di una improbabile comune, nel Texas: un po’ di Kerouac e di Edward Bunker, un po’ di Bruce Springsteen, un po’ ( troppo) di banalità targata “Fate i Bravi”, l’unico vero comandamento sabotato dal grafomane e “ginecologo” Mosè.
L’ avrei dovuto abbandonare, non dico subito, ma almeno a metà.
E invece, dopo una caterva di fior di letteratura che si è arrovellata sulla morte di questo Gesù detto il Cristo, pappatami in tutti questi anni miei (come la maggior parte degli atei, suppongo) ci sono ricascata: ho sperato che almeno stavolta ce la facesse a scampare alla trista sorte, leggendolo fino all’ultimo sgangherato rigo.
Che sia questo merito dello scrittore? Beh, tre stellette ma assolutamente sconsigliato.
April 8, 2020
Un romanzo che riesce a far capire come stia andando a rotoli l'umanità, come ci stiamo dando da soli la zappa sui piedi. Descrive perfettamente come coloro che si ritengono cattolici, in fondo non rispettano per niente gli insegnamenti che il credo religioso da, e come la società etichetti i "non credenti" o quelli con un credo diverso come poco di buono.
La religione non è l'unico aspetto della società moderna trattato dall'autore, ma anche come il potere sia solo dei ricchi, le violenze, discriminazioni LGBT, e tanto altro, il tutto con una chiave ironica nel romanzo dove il protagonista è Gesù Cristo.
Lettura veramente piacevole e scorrevole. Questo è uno dei pochi libri che consiglierò a tutti.
La religione non è l'unico aspetto della società moderna trattato dall'autore, ma anche come il potere sia solo dei ricchi, le violenze, discriminazioni LGBT, e tanto altro, il tutto con una chiave ironica nel romanzo dove il protagonista è Gesù Cristo.
Lettura veramente piacevole e scorrevole. Questo è uno dei pochi libri che consiglierò a tutti.
March 25, 2012
It's the first book by John Niven I read and I must say I'm a little disappointed. I loved the beginning, heaven was great. I laughed a lot for the first few pages but after that it wen downhill. The depiction of hell wasn't really inventive and the rest of the book was a little too easy. I liked the character of Jesus but every other one (apart maybe stelfox) was a little too much one dimensional and you could see the ending coming miles and miles away. Too bad. I not a religious person so I wasn't offended by the point of view of the story and the swearing can be funny (love as a joint smoker who swear a lot...and love fags .)
August 7, 2014
Anche le recensioni positive lo definiscono "dissacrante" e ciò mi dà molto da riflettere su cosa la gente consideri "sacro". Magari è un libro politicamente scorretto, ma che si fotta il politicamente corretto. Certo, i cattolici non ci fanno una bella figura, ma purtroppo quasi ogni giorno ho modo di constatare che il presunto scimmiottamento che ne fa il libro è dolorosamente vicino alla realtà di molti praticanti (praticoni?).
Io un Gesù così, che raccatta da strada il primo barbone che vede, che se ne sbatte di quel che dice la gente, che considera i miracoli delle stronzate e non predica nulla se non "Fate i bravi", lo seguirei a ruota.
Io un Gesù così, che raccatta da strada il primo barbone che vede, che se ne sbatte di quel che dice la gente, che considera i miracoli delle stronzate e non predica nulla se non "Fate i bravi", lo seguirei a ruota.
June 18, 2021
Una noia mortale, un libro con una trama ridicola e senza senso, scritto in uno stile che non ti prende per niente, anzi, ho saltato a piè pari numerose pagine per non addormantarmi, che delusione...
***
A deadly boredom, a book with a ridiculous and meaningless plot, written in a style that did not catch my interest, on the contrary, I skipped many pages in order to not falling asleep, what a disappointment...
***
A deadly boredom, a book with a ridiculous and meaningless plot, written in a style that did not catch my interest, on the contrary, I skipped many pages in order to not falling asleep, what a disappointment...
January 4, 2022
Quest'anno tra Natale e la Befana, ho deciso di leggere 2 libri "a tema".
Il primo è stato "il Maialino di Natale" di J.K.Rowling, che mi è piaciuto moltissimo, e poi questo.
Sì, parla proprio di Lui che, data la brutta piega che sta prendendo l'umanità, è rimandato dal padre sulla terra per riportarla sulla retta via.
Mi era stato presentato come un libro divertente, quasi comico e, per riconoscendo queste caratteristiche è anche altro e di più.
Certo, la descrizione del paradiso, delle abitudini dei santi, quelle di dio e del suo svogliato figliolo, è dissacrante, a volte troppo (quel troppo che stroppia).
Ma il novello Gesù, ritornato sulla terra, è irresistibile; impossibile, anche per un non credente come me, non volergli bene.
La sua storia sulla terra ai giorni nostri è ovviamente diversa da quella narrata dai vangeli, eppure, a ben guardare, ne ripercorre le tappe salienti.
Gesù non ha superpoteri, eppure riesce a realizzare obiettivi grandi e piccoli con tanto impegno e tanta fatica, senza usare quella "magia" che rende banale qualsiasi miracolo.
Come i sacerdoti ebrei allora, oggi sono i preti cattolici i suoi peggiori nemici, quelli che per eccesso di zelo, si dimostrano i migliori aiutanti del male.
Il finale non è lieto ma questo lo immaginavo già.
Fin dalle prime prime pagine ho letto il libro con le cuffiette alle orecchie, ascoltando i brani che vengono descritti nel libro e così ho fatto la conoscenza anche di un sacco di brani che sono entrati a pieno titolo nelle mie play-list.
A parte il turpiloquio, il libro è ben scritto e, in un climax sapientemente costruito, ti tiene incollato alle pagine.
Consigliato.
Il primo è stato "il Maialino di Natale" di J.K.Rowling, che mi è piaciuto moltissimo, e poi questo.
Sì, parla proprio di Lui che, data la brutta piega che sta prendendo l'umanità, è rimandato dal padre sulla terra per riportarla sulla retta via.
Mi era stato presentato come un libro divertente, quasi comico e, per riconoscendo queste caratteristiche è anche altro e di più.
Certo, la descrizione del paradiso, delle abitudini dei santi, quelle di dio e del suo svogliato figliolo, è dissacrante, a volte troppo (quel troppo che stroppia).
Ma il novello Gesù, ritornato sulla terra, è irresistibile; impossibile, anche per un non credente come me, non volergli bene.
La sua storia sulla terra ai giorni nostri è ovviamente diversa da quella narrata dai vangeli, eppure, a ben guardare, ne ripercorre le tappe salienti.
Gesù non ha superpoteri, eppure riesce a realizzare obiettivi grandi e piccoli con tanto impegno e tanta fatica, senza usare quella "magia" che rende banale qualsiasi miracolo.
Come i sacerdoti ebrei allora, oggi sono i preti cattolici i suoi peggiori nemici, quelli che per eccesso di zelo, si dimostrano i migliori aiutanti del male.
Il finale non è lieto ma questo lo immaginavo già.
Fin dalle prime prime pagine ho letto il libro con le cuffiette alle orecchie, ascoltando i brani che vengono descritti nel libro e così ho fatto la conoscenza anche di un sacco di brani che sono entrati a pieno titolo nelle mie play-list.
A parte il turpiloquio, il libro è ben scritto e, in un climax sapientemente costruito, ti tiene incollato alle pagine.
Consigliato.
July 15, 2012
I can't praise this book highly enough. The blurb says that around the time of the Renaissance God takes a week off and goes on holiday, since everything on earth is going swimmingly. When he gets back, earth time running differently to heaven time (Einstein was right), it's the early 21st century and, to put it bluntly, everything has gone to ratshit.
So, God decides to send his son back to teach mankind how they should be living...
My husband read this a while back and told me to read it because "you'll love it". Well, I love all sorts of things so it joined my pile (teetering, on the brink of toppling). Finally I picked it up on Sunday evening and... couldn't put it down. I read far far too long, and when I got up in the morning read more over my breakfast mug of tea. I took it to work (which surprised some people because I usually have my Kindle with me) and it sat on my desk, beckoning and beguiling me until 11:59 at which point I grabbed it and took off into a little-used meeting room to devour a few more chapters. When I got home I cracked it open and ignored everyone and everything until I'd finished it.
And, of course, then I was sad because I'd finished it too quickly and I should have savoured it. But I couldn't because it was just so fantastically written, so more-ish so... bloody brilliant that I just couldn't stop myself.
I heard that there are people who rarely read. Can take it or leave it. And I wonder, really, how that can be when there are novels like this in the world.
So, God decides to send his son back to teach mankind how they should be living...
My husband read this a while back and told me to read it because "you'll love it". Well, I love all sorts of things so it joined my pile (teetering, on the brink of toppling). Finally I picked it up on Sunday evening and... couldn't put it down. I read far far too long, and when I got up in the morning read more over my breakfast mug of tea. I took it to work (which surprised some people because I usually have my Kindle with me) and it sat on my desk, beckoning and beguiling me until 11:59 at which point I grabbed it and took off into a little-used meeting room to devour a few more chapters. When I got home I cracked it open and ignored everyone and everything until I'd finished it.
And, of course, then I was sad because I'd finished it too quickly and I should have savoured it. But I couldn't because it was just so fantastically written, so more-ish so... bloody brilliant that I just couldn't stop myself.
I heard that there are people who rarely read. Can take it or leave it. And I wonder, really, how that can be when there are novels like this in the world.
February 13, 2012
There is a scene halfway through this book where JC rips into a cover of Springsteen's 'Born to Run'. It is a manic delight to read, and I'm sure that John Niven took great pleasure in writing it. Niven, a journalist who worked in the music industry, is Scottish, and his nationality is very much in evidence here in this anarchic, profane and undoubtedly hugely controversial story of Jesus Christ's return to Earth. Sent by his father, horrified by what people had done in his "name", JC plays into the hearts and minds of middle-America when he decides (or perhaps it is decided for him) to take part in a reality television show based on 'American Idol'.
There is much here to delight the open-minded reader. Niven introduces us to a God who doesn't care whether we believe in him or not; all he asks is that we just "be nice." Do that, and when you arrive at the Pearly Gates, you will be greeted with a spliff and a bottle of Champagne - the good stuff, so you know.
There is much here, too, to annoy, disgust, and cause fear in the hearts of fundamentalists everywhere. Not that they would know, of course; they won't be reading it. Their loss.
There is much here to delight the open-minded reader. Niven introduces us to a God who doesn't care whether we believe in him or not; all he asks is that we just "be nice." Do that, and when you arrive at the Pearly Gates, you will be greeted with a spliff and a bottle of Champagne - the good stuff, so you know.
There is much here, too, to annoy, disgust, and cause fear in the hearts of fundamentalists everywhere. Not that they would know, of course; they won't be reading it. Their loss.
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