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Delightfully Twisted Tales #1
Delightfully Twisted Tales: Close Encounters of the Worst Kind
A shifty shapeshifter cons an intergalactic casino, a married robot couple moves to the burbs, punker space rhinos invade a small town in Colorado, and you, yes you, get to see firsthand what goes on in one of the strangest restrooms in the universe. This delightfully twisted collection of four short stories is easily devoured in one sitting and will leave you hungry for more.
Table of Contents
Winning Streak
Memories and All That
The Pudding Master and I
Wrath of the Porcelin Gods
Table of Contents
Winning Streak
Memories and All That
The Pudding Master and I
Wrath of the Porcelin Gods
- GenresScience Fiction
19 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 7, 2011
3 people are currently reading
141 people want to read
About the author
Nicky Drayden
37 books885 followersNicky Drayden is a Systems Analyst who dabbles in prose when she’s not buried in code. She resides in Austin, Texas where being weird is highly encouraged, if not required.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
September 13, 2016
-Humor gamberro en general.-
Género. Relatos.
Lo que nos cuenta. Cuatro relatos breves del autor escritos entre 2009 y 2011 que tratan temas tan dispares como el intento de un cambiaformas de estafar a un casino de fama interplanetaria, las vivencias de una pareja de robots recién casados en una zona residencial, las consecuencias de la llegada a un pueblecito norteamericano de unos alienígenas con aspecto de rinoceronte y pasión por los estilismos y música de los años ochenta y, por último, las peculiaridades del uso del cuarto de baño de una especie alienígena en la Estación Vero-Avalon. Primer volumen de la serie Delightfully Twisted Tales.
¿Quiere saber más de este libro, sin spoilers? Visite:
http://librosdeolethros.blogspot.com/...
Género. Relatos.
Lo que nos cuenta. Cuatro relatos breves del autor escritos entre 2009 y 2011 que tratan temas tan dispares como el intento de un cambiaformas de estafar a un casino de fama interplanetaria, las vivencias de una pareja de robots recién casados en una zona residencial, las consecuencias de la llegada a un pueblecito norteamericano de unos alienígenas con aspecto de rinoceronte y pasión por los estilismos y música de los años ochenta y, por último, las peculiaridades del uso del cuarto de baño de una especie alienígena en la Estación Vero-Avalon. Primer volumen de la serie Delightfully Twisted Tales.
¿Quiere saber más de este libro, sin spoilers? Visite:
http://librosdeolethros.blogspot.com/...
October 16, 2020
WINNING STREAK
Q: Seven security gargoyles stare at me from atop the elaborate sandstone columns lining the casino's walls. (c)
Q: They gasp at his words, and I roll my eyes ... I mean literally pop them out-of-socket and into the palm of my hand. (c)
Q: ... it's difficult to intimidate an Ittari. Can't exactly torture someone who can slip into a semi-liquid state... (c)
Q: ... I decide to call him on it, because one, I've never been the type to play the odds, and two, he's holding the pistol backwards. (c)
THE PUDDING MASTER AND I
Q: It wasn't so bad being a slave, not after I got used to the shock collar and the beatings. (c)
Q: "I pray I will be blessed enough to see the Sacred City of Pudding with my own eyes," ...
"If the Pudding Master wills it, it shall be done,"...
"A million kisses upon his Sacred Horn," (c)
WRATH OF THE PORCELAIN GODS
Q: Being a little curious doesn't make you a deviant. (c)
A bathroom visit has never been as entertaining. Or, alient restroom adventures.
Q: Seven security gargoyles stare at me from atop the elaborate sandstone columns lining the casino's walls. (c)
Q: They gasp at his words, and I roll my eyes ... I mean literally pop them out-of-socket and into the palm of my hand. (c)
Q: ... it's difficult to intimidate an Ittari. Can't exactly torture someone who can slip into a semi-liquid state... (c)
Q: ... I decide to call him on it, because one, I've never been the type to play the odds, and two, he's holding the pistol backwards. (c)
THE PUDDING MASTER AND I
Q: It wasn't so bad being a slave, not after I got used to the shock collar and the beatings. (c)
Q: "I pray I will be blessed enough to see the Sacred City of Pudding with my own eyes," ...
"If the Pudding Master wills it, it shall be done,"...
"A million kisses upon his Sacred Horn," (c)
WRATH OF THE PORCELAIN GODS
Q: Being a little curious doesn't make you a deviant. (c)
A bathroom visit has never been as entertaining. Or, alient restroom adventures.
December 30, 2019
Being curious doesn't make you a deviant."
Short and silly. Enjoy.
"It wasn't so bad being a slave, not after I got used to the shock collar and the beatings."
Short and silly. Enjoy.
"It wasn't so bad being a slave, not after I got used to the shock collar and the beatings."
December 12, 2019
If you love weird science fiction, keep reading.
Normally, I pick a few stories out of an anthology to highlight in my reviews. Since this collection only had four of them, I’ll talk about all of them.
The only other note I’ll make about this book before diving into my review is about the page count. My ebook was divided into shorter pages than usual, so I estimated the total length for this collection based on how long I thought it would if each page had the usual 250-300 words in it. At any rate, it was a quick read!
“Winning Streak” followed a shapeshifter named Traleel Az who aroused the suspicions of the casino owners after winning far more money from a slot machine than anyone was supposed to get from playing that game. I was mesmerized by all of the fantasy creatures who worked at and visited that establishment. It sounds like an incredible, if also possibly dangerous, place to visit, and I wanted to know more with every passing scene. This is a world I’d love to visit again sometime if the author ever decides to revisit it.
As mentioned in the blurb, “Memories and All That” was about newlywed robots who moved to the suburbs. Kath-090 and Bit-722 were so excited to make this change in their lives that I was curious to see how their organic neighbours would respond to them. The pacing for this tale felt a little off to me, especially in the beginning when the characters were talking about which possessions they’d brought with them on their move. This momentary slowdown of the plot was more than made up for by the final scene, though. I couldn’t stop giggling at it.
The thought of sharing a town with space rhinos was more than enough to make me want to read “The Pudding Master and I.” Rynoss was the name of this species. Since they acted quite a bit like Earth rhinoceroses, just imagine all of the chaos they caused when they moved into human neighbourhoods. Their understanding of Earth culture was yet another reason why I was fascinated by these creature. Let’s just say that there were plenty of misunderstandings along the way and that some of them were pretty funny. The only thing better than this part of the storyline were all of the plot twists that happened after it.
“Wrath of the Porcelain Gods” was one of the best short story titles I’ve seen in ages. The main character in it was an amateur anthropologist living onboard a space ship who was attempting to figure out how an alien species called the Asiphants used the washroom. I would have liked to see more attention spent on explaining why the protagonist was so fascinated by this topic. It seemed odd to me, especially since they’d described themselves as someone who had spent plenty of time working and living alongside other humanoid species. Surely they would have gotten used to things like this by now? While I still enjoyed reading it, having more information about that part of the plot would have made it a better experience for this reader.
This was the first book I’ve read from Nicky Drayden. Based on how much I enjoyed it, I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for more from her!
Normally, I pick a few stories out of an anthology to highlight in my reviews. Since this collection only had four of them, I’ll talk about all of them.
The only other note I’ll make about this book before diving into my review is about the page count. My ebook was divided into shorter pages than usual, so I estimated the total length for this collection based on how long I thought it would if each page had the usual 250-300 words in it. At any rate, it was a quick read!
“Winning Streak” followed a shapeshifter named Traleel Az who aroused the suspicions of the casino owners after winning far more money from a slot machine than anyone was supposed to get from playing that game. I was mesmerized by all of the fantasy creatures who worked at and visited that establishment. It sounds like an incredible, if also possibly dangerous, place to visit, and I wanted to know more with every passing scene. This is a world I’d love to visit again sometime if the author ever decides to revisit it.
As mentioned in the blurb, “Memories and All That” was about newlywed robots who moved to the suburbs. Kath-090 and Bit-722 were so excited to make this change in their lives that I was curious to see how their organic neighbours would respond to them. The pacing for this tale felt a little off to me, especially in the beginning when the characters were talking about which possessions they’d brought with them on their move. This momentary slowdown of the plot was more than made up for by the final scene, though. I couldn’t stop giggling at it.
The thought of sharing a town with space rhinos was more than enough to make me want to read “The Pudding Master and I.” Rynoss was the name of this species. Since they acted quite a bit like Earth rhinoceroses, just imagine all of the chaos they caused when they moved into human neighbourhoods. Their understanding of Earth culture was yet another reason why I was fascinated by these creature. Let’s just say that there were plenty of misunderstandings along the way and that some of them were pretty funny. The only thing better than this part of the storyline were all of the plot twists that happened after it.
“Wrath of the Porcelain Gods” was one of the best short story titles I’ve seen in ages. The main character in it was an amateur anthropologist living onboard a space ship who was attempting to figure out how an alien species called the Asiphants used the washroom. I would have liked to see more attention spent on explaining why the protagonist was so fascinated by this topic. It seemed odd to me, especially since they’d described themselves as someone who had spent plenty of time working and living alongside other humanoid species. Surely they would have gotten used to things like this by now? While I still enjoyed reading it, having more information about that part of the plot would have made it a better experience for this reader.
This was the first book I’ve read from Nicky Drayden. Based on how much I enjoyed it, I’ll definitely be keeping an eye out for more from her!
August 9, 2013
“Delightfully Twisted Tales: Close Encounters of the Worst Kind” by Nicky Drayden is a small collection of four short stories which are both “twisted tales” and “of the worst kind”. The first tale, “Winning Streak”, is actually rather humorous, as an alien shape shifter manages to hit the jackpot 11 times in a row at a casino! They beg, threaten, and bribe him to get him to leave, but with everybody in the casino now watching as he continues to win, there really isn’t much they can do, other than let him continue winning.
“Memories and All That” is a strange little tale of a pair of robots who have finally managed to buy a house in an all-human neighborhood… a robot’s dream come true! However, as the duo unpacks, they begin to argue over various pieces of “junk” the other one decided to pack up and bring to the new house. While holding – and arguing over – an electric branding iron, an accident occurs which will probably put a damper on their welcome into the neighborhood.
“The Pudding Master and I” is another tale about aliens moving into the neighborhood. This time it is the Rynoss who move in, but for the past three years the President has been Anchovian, so nobody really gives a second thought to the Rynoss moving in. Except they keep singing songs from the 1980’s – 200 years out of date. They wear pink leg warmers. They have great, sharp, intimidating horns. Perhaps worst of all, they wear platinum blond wigs. However, things really start to turn ugly when the Rynoss begin adding Butterscotch pudding mix into the hot springs.
Finally, “Wrath of the Porcelain Gods” is every bit as gross and disgusting as it sounds. When 115 unique sapient species share a single space station, there are bound to be some cultural clashes. In this case, one very odd little curious amateur anthropologist has been studying the waste elimination processes of the many species. Normally his studies have consisted of him hiding in the bathroom until somebody – or something – comes in to “go”. Except this final observation didn’t turn out quite as innocently as he had hoped. Don’t say I didn’t warn you… it IS rather gross!
“Close Encounters of the Worst Kind” is the first volume in Drayden’s “Delightfully Twisted Tales” series. So far there are four volumes in this series, with more promised. The tales may be twisted and they may be gross, but they aren’t bad. They are more likely to elicit a groan than a gasp, and in that regard they are really fairly funny. Definitely not bedtime stories for the little ones, these short stories will entertain and amuse the same people who enjoy watching old “Three Stooges” shorts on television. So you KNOW they must be pretty good!
“Memories and All That” is a strange little tale of a pair of robots who have finally managed to buy a house in an all-human neighborhood… a robot’s dream come true! However, as the duo unpacks, they begin to argue over various pieces of “junk” the other one decided to pack up and bring to the new house. While holding – and arguing over – an electric branding iron, an accident occurs which will probably put a damper on their welcome into the neighborhood.
“The Pudding Master and I” is another tale about aliens moving into the neighborhood. This time it is the Rynoss who move in, but for the past three years the President has been Anchovian, so nobody really gives a second thought to the Rynoss moving in. Except they keep singing songs from the 1980’s – 200 years out of date. They wear pink leg warmers. They have great, sharp, intimidating horns. Perhaps worst of all, they wear platinum blond wigs. However, things really start to turn ugly when the Rynoss begin adding Butterscotch pudding mix into the hot springs.
Finally, “Wrath of the Porcelain Gods” is every bit as gross and disgusting as it sounds. When 115 unique sapient species share a single space station, there are bound to be some cultural clashes. In this case, one very odd little curious amateur anthropologist has been studying the waste elimination processes of the many species. Normally his studies have consisted of him hiding in the bathroom until somebody – or something – comes in to “go”. Except this final observation didn’t turn out quite as innocently as he had hoped. Don’t say I didn’t warn you… it IS rather gross!
“Close Encounters of the Worst Kind” is the first volume in Drayden’s “Delightfully Twisted Tales” series. So far there are four volumes in this series, with more promised. The tales may be twisted and they may be gross, but they aren’t bad. They are more likely to elicit a groan than a gasp, and in that regard they are really fairly funny. Definitely not bedtime stories for the little ones, these short stories will entertain and amuse the same people who enjoy watching old “Three Stooges” shorts on television. So you KNOW they must be pretty good!
August 7, 2011
Four short stories previously published in genre magazines.
WINNING STREAK: A shapeshifter discovers an unusual way to con a casino.
MEMORIES AND ALL THAT: Robots move to the suburbs.
THE PUDDING MASTER AND I: Galactic robots and discovering what may be worse than slavery.
WRATH OF THE PORCELAIN GODS: An amateur anthropologist researches the toilet habits of all 115 species on the space station. He should have stopped at 114.
Mixed reviews. Just a 3 for the robot story. The rest were pretty funny. Love the cover picture.
WINNING STREAK: A shapeshifter discovers an unusual way to con a casino.
MEMORIES AND ALL THAT: Robots move to the suburbs.
THE PUDDING MASTER AND I: Galactic robots and discovering what may be worse than slavery.
WRATH OF THE PORCELAIN GODS: An amateur anthropologist researches the toilet habits of all 115 species on the space station. He should have stopped at 114.
Mixed reviews. Just a 3 for the robot story. The rest were pretty funny. Love the cover picture.
February 10, 2013
I downloaded Ms. Drayden's short story collections because I had just got my e-reader and they were free. I'm really glad I did because I think Ms. Drayden has the potential to become a bestselling author one day (hopefully soon.) I will gladly pay for any future work from this author.
January 3, 2014
This is a set of 4 very short stories. The tone can be very dark, but there's always some humor.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews