HOLY MOLY this story snuck up on me. I mean I knew I’d love it- one of my favorite writing duos back together again! But I did not anticipate to be so holy consumed and ripped apart by this story. I’m enamored, completely. Poison Roses is a brilliantly complicated and addictively entertaining thrill ride of emotional tension and riveting danger. Jaymin and Tate skillfully weave the quiet intimate moments with the loud and sparkly rockstar glitter and mafia intrigue to create a story like no other. A tour de force of character complexity married with a action-packed adrenaline rush thriller, full of twists and secrets. I have not been so ravenous or desperate to turn the pages like this in a while. I AM POISONED completely.
On the surface, Tate and Jaymin deliver a widely sexy and intriguing rockstar crashes with mafia love story full of their characteristic romantic tension and emotional turbulence. But underneath the flashy bravado, sexual tension, and heart-pounding action and danger, what we really have is an intimate…albeit still enigmatic….character exploration of the impact of emotional trauma. Billie and the Bellerose band all share one common trait- and it’s more than their musical connection or their shared lust for one another. Oh no, what is buried beneath the surface is the REAL beating heart of this story- how each of these hiddenly broken characters carries the weight of their past pain, the snowballing cascade of how trauma can consume you from the inside out. We don’t even know the full depths of anyone’s past- but we know it’s there, bubbling under the surface, starting to breathe out like steam from a newly active volcano. The clues are there, the cracks are showing. So even if we don’t know just WHAT shaped each of these characters, we know that something hard and painful HAS warped them. They are all survivors in their own right- coping in their own unique ways. One by trying to protect and save others to alleviate their own traumatic guilt, one by lashing out with heartbreak heavily veiled in vitriolic animosity, one by retreating into a carefully curated armor of detachment and indifference. Perhaps even one in violence and power- though jury’s still out on if he really IS part of this romance. Or like Billie, hiding in plain site, burying her pain and loss, her lifeline has become the fact that she’s barely surviving- it keeps her from having to confront all her baggage. UNTIL NOW. Because while each has learned to COPE with their pain in their own varyingly destructive ways, none has truly confronted it. Until they all crash together, until the rose finds her way amongst the thorns, only she has her OWN thorns to carry. They’ve each swallowed their own poison, and now they’re being challenged little by little, some faster than others, to face the real darkness, to let go of the deceptive facade they all hide behind.
I love how Tate and Jaymin have them all working on their own pace, connecting in their own ways. Some are more ready to explore what’s right in front of them than others, and some have more to risk, more at stake. The guys have their own journeys to take, and right now we know far less about them. Because Poison Roses is really Billie’s beginning- a heroine who has lacked physical and emotional safety for so long that she finally finds it in the last place she expected, but it comes with a steep emotional price. Book 1 helps us unravel her, and I love how vulnerable she is. She’s not a completely soft or hapless damsel in distress, but she does have her own fragility amidst her survivalist strength. She’s open, has a gentle heart, and most of all, she’s lost. She’s been lost for a while, since a fateful moment, one we still don’t fully understand, caused her to make a sacrifice greater than her first love- it also meant sacrificing all that she is, or was, or could be. And now we see her start to grapple with the lost aspects of herself- she can no longer just rest on “getting by,” she now has to deal with her “ish”- in part because her “ish” is right in front of her face. But it’s more than just Angelo and Jace, and that’s what so BRILLIANT about this harem. Each of these men represent something fundamental in Billie- both something she needs to heal but also a part of herself that she’s lost or trying to nurture. We get the foil of Jace and Angelo preying upon her pain and past trauma in their own ways juxtaposed to the flowering NEW relationships she finds in Rhett and Grayson.
I love how Billie-focused this beginning is- because before we can truly deepen the connections she has (or rebuilt the broken ones she’s lost), Billie has to really take a hard look at herself, her needs, but most important, to feel WORTHY and deserving of any form of tenderness or love. She’s put in the most complicated of character arcs- facing everything that hurts about her past, running from a terrifying criminal, while also suddenly finding camaraderie and kindness in a veritable emotional hornets’ nest of a hideout situation. She’s surrounded by connections she never anticipated all while avoiding emotional landmines all around her- including her own. But my do I love her- she’s tenacious but patient, strong but vulnerable, a little reckless and brave, but also so captivatingly broken yet hopeful. She’s a big bleeding heart, wrapped in invisible thorns.
Of course, outside of this giant existential confrontation of past trauma and what I see to be a steady journey towards healing and redemption, we have just SO much entertainment. The chemistry is scorching between Billie and the boys, and even more so, the chemistry between the band is so entertaining. The funny moments, the tensions, the drama, but most of all the brotherhood. It will be necessary to survive what seems to be coming, and I love the relational matrix we have going here. And all the “on the run” and in hiding in a freaking ROCKBAND (what a fun take on the trope) plus the slow burning steam, and I AM DESPERATE for more. The pages just kept turning. Of course, the cliffhanger knocked me down- my mind is desperate to know just what this means, and thank the sweet Bellerose gods that we don’t have to wait long for book 2!