The Life God Wants You to Have: Discovering the Divine Plan When Human Plans Fail

by Gregory K. Popcak

Dispensing candid, practical, and ever-faithful advice, this fully revised and updated resource provides individuals and families with clear tips and strategies for finding God’s direction when life takes unforeseen turns. With his familiar, assured voice, acclaimed counselor Dr. Gregory Popcak shares the real-life accounts of Christians who endured devastating financial, emotional, and professional setbacks in framing his F.A.I.T.H.-based, systematic plan for surviving hard times and returning to the light. With quizzes, directed reflection, and inspiring case studies, Christians and faith-seekers alike will learn how F.A.I.T.H.—Following the rules for healthy discernment, Acting even when in doubt, Investigating the causes of anxiety, Taking others into account, and Holding on through adversity—is the means toward hearing God’s voice once again.

Genres: Catholic

208 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2011

About the author

Dr. Gregory Popcak is the Executive Director of the Pastoral Solutions Institute, an organization dedicated to helping Catholics find faith-filled solutions to tough marriage, family, and personal problems. The author of over a dozen popular books integrating solid Catholic theology and counseling psychology (including; For Better…FOREVER!, Holy Sex!, Parenting with Grace, Beyond the Birds and the Bees), Dr. Popcak is an expert on the practical applications of the Theology of the Body. Through the Pastoral Solutions Institute, he directs a group pastoral tele-counseling practice that provides ongoing pastoral psychotherapy services to Catholic couples, individuals and families around the world. Since 2001, he and his wife and co-author, Lisa Popcak, have hosted several nationally-syndicated, call-in radio advice programs including Heart, Mind and Strength (Ave Maria Radio 2001-2010), Fully Alive! (Sirius/XM-The Catholic Channel 2007-2010), and most recently, More2Life (Ave Maria Radio–Airing M-F, Noon-1pm Eastern– 2010-Present). They have also hosted two for EWTN (For Better…FOREVER! & God Help Me!). Dr. Popcak’s articles appear regularly in Catholic periodicals such as Catholic Digest, Family Foundations, and others. Dr. Greg Popcak and Lisa Popcak are sought after public speakers and trainers and have been honored to address audiences across North America, Australia, and Hong Kong.

In addition to his ministry work, Dr. Popcak serves as adjunct faculty for the Franciscan University of Steubenville in both the sociology and graduate theology departments where he teaches Christianity & Society and Pastoral & Spiritual Direction respectively. He also serves on the faculty of the doctor of social work program for the Harold Abel School of Behavioral Health at Capella University.

Reviews

[Steven R. McEvoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book after listening to some audio presentations by Gregory K. Popcak. And to be honest this book was an incredible read. In the introduction Dr. Popcak uses an example of horses and zebras. The premise is that in life when we are thinking about changes either in our careers, marriages, and relationships often we are horses who want to be zebras. We want a major change and we want it now. We desire to jump the fence and join the zebras because their grass is greener. When in fact most of the time we need to work on being better horses where we are. Instead of getting a divorce and starting over, work on who you are and work on the relationship. Most of the time we what to make that chance because of being bored. Instead of changing jobs, become the best horse in the job you currently have. No he does state that for major life decisions sometimes we are being called to jump that fence but not for marriage and only after great discernment.

And that is what the rest of the book does. It teaches you how to discern if you are a horse that needs to be better at what and where you are. And if that is not the case it gives you the tools to help decide if God really is calling you to a major change and how to pursue it if that is the case. Dr. Popcak states: "That a sense of meaning comes from attempting to use fully the gifts you have been given for the good of others and the glory of God in whatever circumstances you find yourself. While certain activities may be more meaningful than others because they give you a greater opportunity to use your gifts, all activities can be the source of a sense of meaningfulness - to one degree or another - if you are constantly striving to bring everything you have to the task at hand, whether that task is a job, role, or relationship. By contrast, a sense of boredom and meaninglessness comes when we hold back. Every time we merely act as if we are going through the motions, or we treat the work or relationships we have in too casual a manner, we rob a moment of its potential to be meaningful, and therefore to be a source of joy." Basically we get bored and want change because we are not really putting in the effort. And if that is the case we need to learn to work at being a better horse, not trying to be a zebra. The grass is not greener in that other job, in that other relationship, it only appears that way and once the novelty wears off we are back in the same place. Dr. Popcak illustrates each chapter with a number of case studies from his years in practice. The order of the book is:

Part One: Getting Started
1. "When I grow up …"
2. You Have to Start With Yourself
a. Meaningfulness Quiz
b. Intimacy Quiz
c. Virtue Quiz

Part Two: Walking in F.A.I.T.H.
3. Follow the Rules for Healthy Discernment
4. Act, Even When in Doubt
5. Investigate the Causes of Your Anxiety
6. Take Others into Account
7. Hold On Through Adversity

Part Three: Further Steps:
8. Conclusion - Moving from Suffering to Surrender
9. Epilogue: Finding Strength in Community

Throughout this book Dr. Popcak teaches us strategies to discern God's direction for our life; especially if the life we thought we were called to life is falling apart. He teaches us to seek our guidance from the Holy Spirit, from others in our circles and if needed from professional counsellors. I know many people who have been through hardships in relationships, or careers who moved to a new pasture because they thought the grass was greener; when all that happened was they ended up making major changes again often in a short time. This book could have saved them a lot of heartache, pain, uncertainty and even loss.

I highly recommend this book, and know that even I will be rereading it again.

Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More.

(Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: A Year of Reading Intention - Catholic Reading!)

[Timothy Olson · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you aren't the rather narrow target-audience, this book, while a quick and easy read, is not particularly fruitful.

This book is targeting a very specific subset of the population: those with serious self-doubt. He provides some useful ideas for these people, and a few principles of general applicability (for example, in the midst of suffering, ask yourself "How will I live my life as a result of this suffering that will make Satan regret having challenged me?").

Dr. Popcak's other works are of wider applicability, and well worth the read.

[Dahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Popcak is a master of Catholic self-help books and this one is easily a great place to start your journey to lead a fuller, happier, holier and healthier life. Through a process of presentations and self-administered tests, the individual will come to identify where they must affect changes in their life in order to obtain the holy happiness they seek and it is written in terms which a layman can much more easily understand. A work I recommend everyone read, especially young people.

[Cassidy DeStefano · Rating 4 out of 5]

A useful guide with practical steps for discerning purpose in life - a bit repetitive at times, but the message of pursuing meaningfulness, intimacy, and virtue for the good of others certainly resonated.

[Jonas Stephan Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

God so good Corking

[Stefanie Shick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book, especially for anybody that feels stuck or is struggling with what step to take next in life. It's one of those life-changing, eye-opening books that makes everything seem so much clearer!

[Yolanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought provoking, a bit dry but it does contain good information.