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Ablaze
A story loosely based on the story of Rumplestiltskin. This book tells a story of a young woman Mia as she encounters a will-o-wisp who wishes to take her child.
5 pages, Nook
First published April 30, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
February 2, 2019
Do you have a favorite fairy tale? One that stands out for you and still swirls around in your mind even today? Many of us grew up listening to a wide assortment of fairy tales and inevitably picked out our personal favorites. One particular tale which stands out for me personally is Rumplestiltskin. The idea of a beautiful maiden being helped by an imp-like creature to spin straw into gold is somehow intriguing! Also, part of what makes this fairy tale so memorable is the malevolent overtones and scary suggestions it contains. There is an undeniable evil within the tale which really never comes to full fruition. However, in his short story Ablaze, author Harsh Y. Thakar takes such malevolency to a whole new level. For those who are interested in a new and nefarious take on Grimm's traditional tale Rumplestiltskin, this story could be worth a read.
Ablaze is basically a unique retelling of Rumplestiltskin. In the original tale a Miller falsely boasts to the King of the land that his beautiful daughter is so special that she can even spin straw into gold. Upon hearing this the King calls the Miller's bluff and confines the daughter to a chamber with explicit orders to start spinning straw into gold...or forfeit her life. Unable to actually do what her father has boasted, the Miller's daughter falls into a state of despair. However, to her surprise she is visited by a miniature imp who agrees to spin the straw into gold if she rewards him. This she promptly does by giving him her necklace. After the imp has spun the straw into fold, the greedy king wants more and more. When the girl has run out of trinkets to reward the imp with she ends up offering him her first born child. When it comes time to pay the imp back for his help, the girl (who is now Queen), begs to be released from the arrangement. The imp agrees to this only if she can guess his name... which with some help she eventually does. The imp, otherwise known as Rumplestiltskin, then splits into two and disappears. Undoubtedly, all of that may be a little bit much to take in. However, in his short story Ablaze, Harsh Y. Thakar takes these same ideas but adds a much more sinister twist to it all.
While the plot of Ablaze is very dependent upon the original tale for direction, it is still unique enough to stand on its own. In fact, it has some very clever and compelling slants and spins to the original. These just so happen to be quite twisted and have the potential to draw the reader in. However, they are really never explored to their full potential. So little information is actually given about the main idea, characters or even the setting that it comes across as largely unfulfilling. We are never able to glean enough interest to get truly engaged in the story. That is a shame really as these concepts are sound and could have been transformed into a magnificent tale. The author clearly has an imaginative mind. Nevertheless, by not exploring it all in more depth it just comes across as an alternative ending to a popular fairy tale.
In my reviews I typically take some time to talk about character development and world building in addition to the plot. Unfortunately, these were not developed, explored or explained in any type of meaningful depth. In addition, the story sorely needed to be professionally edited for these factors, as well as common writing structure and mechanics. The potential is here...but is just not unrealized.
2.5 out of 5 Rumply Stars for this one! **
Ablaze is basically a unique retelling of Rumplestiltskin. In the original tale a Miller falsely boasts to the King of the land that his beautiful daughter is so special that she can even spin straw into gold. Upon hearing this the King calls the Miller's bluff and confines the daughter to a chamber with explicit orders to start spinning straw into gold...or forfeit her life. Unable to actually do what her father has boasted, the Miller's daughter falls into a state of despair. However, to her surprise she is visited by a miniature imp who agrees to spin the straw into gold if she rewards him. This she promptly does by giving him her necklace. After the imp has spun the straw into fold, the greedy king wants more and more. When the girl has run out of trinkets to reward the imp with she ends up offering him her first born child. When it comes time to pay the imp back for his help, the girl (who is now Queen), begs to be released from the arrangement. The imp agrees to this only if she can guess his name... which with some help she eventually does. The imp, otherwise known as Rumplestiltskin, then splits into two and disappears. Undoubtedly, all of that may be a little bit much to take in. However, in his short story Ablaze, Harsh Y. Thakar takes these same ideas but adds a much more sinister twist to it all.
While the plot of Ablaze is very dependent upon the original tale for direction, it is still unique enough to stand on its own. In fact, it has some very clever and compelling slants and spins to the original. These just so happen to be quite twisted and have the potential to draw the reader in. However, they are really never explored to their full potential. So little information is actually given about the main idea, characters or even the setting that it comes across as largely unfulfilling. We are never able to glean enough interest to get truly engaged in the story. That is a shame really as these concepts are sound and could have been transformed into a magnificent tale. The author clearly has an imaginative mind. Nevertheless, by not exploring it all in more depth it just comes across as an alternative ending to a popular fairy tale.
In my reviews I typically take some time to talk about character development and world building in addition to the plot. Unfortunately, these were not developed, explored or explained in any type of meaningful depth. In addition, the story sorely needed to be professionally edited for these factors, as well as common writing structure and mechanics. The potential is here...but is just not unrealized.
2.5 out of 5 Rumply Stars for this one! **
March 3, 2013
Ablaze is an unusual take on Grimm’s traditional fairy story Rumpelstiltskin. Told in the simplistic style of a children’s folk tale, its place and time are non-specific but generally feudal; an era of homespun cloth and water-powered mills when girls – even beautiful and brave ones - needed dowries and itinerant fortune-telling gypsies were commonplace. The setting for the story is rendered just enough to allow the reader to orientate herself, the dialogue is to-the-point, meaning the plot flows unhindered by irrelevant detail. The characters, as you would expect for this genre, are functional within their roles but not finely drawn.
In the traditional version of Rumpelstiltskin the heroine is saved from the violent consequences of her father’s exaggerated claims by a sprite who spins straw into gold in exchange for tokens of jewellery. When these run out he sets her a riddle which she solves with the aid of a helper. In this version the sprite demands a bigger and much more personal sacrifice right from the start. There is the clear – but undeveloped - implication that what he asks is given without much reluctance. This element puts the potential for a much more ‘adult’ slant onto the story’s interpretation, as does the culminating resolution to the story and indeed its open ending which allows for future, or perhaps I should say further, development. Unfortunately the writer does not exploit any of these possibilities to any degree, leaving the story in something of a no-man-land between target readerships and somewhat unsatisfactory.
There is no doubt that the idea of developing fairy tales for adult readers is a sound one. The recent hit series Once Upon a Time and films Snow White and the Huntsman and Red Riding Hood all go to prove the voracious market for darker versions of our childhood favourites. I’d encourage the writer to grasp the nettle and revisit his story to pursue the darker, adult potential he has unearthed in this tale, which is, at present, only an embryonic version of the fully-realised story it could become. As it stands it’s only 3000 words so there is plenty of scope to expand and develop ideas.
My sense of the story as unfinished is the most powerful response I have to it, which is why I have only given it a two star rating. It needs more work to uncover what I do think could be a very interesting and popular take on this traditional tale. There are numerous linguistic and grammatical errors, as well as inconsistencies and narrative aberrations, which need addressing even if the story is to remain in its current form. If it is to be a story for adults, the writer could allow himself a more discursive style. He needs to decide on his target audience and, with that determined, work the story out to its proper scale, something which I am afraid that, so far, has not been achieved.
In the traditional version of Rumpelstiltskin the heroine is saved from the violent consequences of her father’s exaggerated claims by a sprite who spins straw into gold in exchange for tokens of jewellery. When these run out he sets her a riddle which she solves with the aid of a helper. In this version the sprite demands a bigger and much more personal sacrifice right from the start. There is the clear – but undeveloped - implication that what he asks is given without much reluctance. This element puts the potential for a much more ‘adult’ slant onto the story’s interpretation, as does the culminating resolution to the story and indeed its open ending which allows for future, or perhaps I should say further, development. Unfortunately the writer does not exploit any of these possibilities to any degree, leaving the story in something of a no-man-land between target readerships and somewhat unsatisfactory.
There is no doubt that the idea of developing fairy tales for adult readers is a sound one. The recent hit series Once Upon a Time and films Snow White and the Huntsman and Red Riding Hood all go to prove the voracious market for darker versions of our childhood favourites. I’d encourage the writer to grasp the nettle and revisit his story to pursue the darker, adult potential he has unearthed in this tale, which is, at present, only an embryonic version of the fully-realised story it could become. As it stands it’s only 3000 words so there is plenty of scope to expand and develop ideas.
My sense of the story as unfinished is the most powerful response I have to it, which is why I have only given it a two star rating. It needs more work to uncover what I do think could be a very interesting and popular take on this traditional tale. There are numerous linguistic and grammatical errors, as well as inconsistencies and narrative aberrations, which need addressing even if the story is to remain in its current form. If it is to be a story for adults, the writer could allow himself a more discursive style. He needs to decide on his target audience and, with that determined, work the story out to its proper scale, something which I am afraid that, so far, has not been achieved.
December 17, 2012
I think it is a good short story. I just felt it was too short. Since this was your first attempt, I'd say it is a job well done. I am yearning to read more. Please do write a sequel.
January 2, 2013
(I received a free copy of this story in return for providing an unbiased review.)
Ablaze, by Harsh Thakar, is a very short (approximately 3,000 words) retelling of Rumplestiltskin, a well-known fairy tale popularized by the Brothers Grimm. In an effort to avoid spoilers, I will say no more about the plot, save that it is told with a more horrific twist than its namesake.
I felt the idea driving the plot for this story was a sound one. I have heard of a great many timeless fables and fairy tales retold with any number of different spins on them, but I (at least) do not recall the tale of Rumplestiltskin being singled out for the task. Though I was able to quickly determine the base story Ablaze sought to emulate without prior knowledge, I did find the subject matter refreshing in that respect. I did not read the book's description before reading the story itself, and I'm actually quite pleased that the cover art didn't make it obvious that I'm about to be taken on a modified ride down fairy tale lane. As I am often skeptical of "retold" stories, I might have passed on this one if I had known too much at the outset. As a reader, the ambiguity of this story did the job of getting the book in front of me -- which I think would be the goal of any fiction author. The story does was it sets out to do with an appropriately chilling twist, and for that I appreciate it.
While Ablaze does have potential, I feel that the story is in strong need of professional editing. While the spelling was decent, I will be honest in saying that I eventually lost count of the errors in grammar, sentence structure, and improper word usage (some passages were difficult to read and understand due to the aforementioned issues). Judging from the patterns I saw (the same errors occurring multiple times), I am left with the assumption that the majority of errors were more a product of grasping the English language than any sort of deliberate failing on the part of the author. Naturally I'm willing to be more lenient of such problems if they are indeed due to difficulties with the language, but I have to say that whatever the reason may be, when any story (in any language) reaches the stage of final publication, readers should be able to assume that it has been "put through its paces" with regards to editing and proofreading. I didn't get that impression from Ablaze.
Other concerns have to do with the use of space in such a short tale -- I would have preferred a bit more life to some of the characters (Theodore in particular) to give me something of a better idea as to who I was dealing with. Even something as simple as a more detailed description or a few more words about the character's mannerisms/personality would have been quite helpful. I am assuming that the Rumplestiltskin-like creature in the story was short like some sort of gnome, but I was left to fill in that blank on my own. I can't hold that against the story however, as it's more a product of the nature of the beast when retelling an existing story. (I have a particular image in mind of what I think Rumplestiltskin looks like, and it's hard to shake what's already established in my head.)
All in all, I feel that with a bit more elbow grease thrown in, the true potential of this story could well be brought out. It's definitely worth sticking with.
Ablaze, by Harsh Thakar, is a very short (approximately 3,000 words) retelling of Rumplestiltskin, a well-known fairy tale popularized by the Brothers Grimm. In an effort to avoid spoilers, I will say no more about the plot, save that it is told with a more horrific twist than its namesake.
I felt the idea driving the plot for this story was a sound one. I have heard of a great many timeless fables and fairy tales retold with any number of different spins on them, but I (at least) do not recall the tale of Rumplestiltskin being singled out for the task. Though I was able to quickly determine the base story Ablaze sought to emulate without prior knowledge, I did find the subject matter refreshing in that respect. I did not read the book's description before reading the story itself, and I'm actually quite pleased that the cover art didn't make it obvious that I'm about to be taken on a modified ride down fairy tale lane. As I am often skeptical of "retold" stories, I might have passed on this one if I had known too much at the outset. As a reader, the ambiguity of this story did the job of getting the book in front of me -- which I think would be the goal of any fiction author. The story does was it sets out to do with an appropriately chilling twist, and for that I appreciate it.
While Ablaze does have potential, I feel that the story is in strong need of professional editing. While the spelling was decent, I will be honest in saying that I eventually lost count of the errors in grammar, sentence structure, and improper word usage (some passages were difficult to read and understand due to the aforementioned issues). Judging from the patterns I saw (the same errors occurring multiple times), I am left with the assumption that the majority of errors were more a product of grasping the English language than any sort of deliberate failing on the part of the author. Naturally I'm willing to be more lenient of such problems if they are indeed due to difficulties with the language, but I have to say that whatever the reason may be, when any story (in any language) reaches the stage of final publication, readers should be able to assume that it has been "put through its paces" with regards to editing and proofreading. I didn't get that impression from Ablaze.
Other concerns have to do with the use of space in such a short tale -- I would have preferred a bit more life to some of the characters (Theodore in particular) to give me something of a better idea as to who I was dealing with. Even something as simple as a more detailed description or a few more words about the character's mannerisms/personality would have been quite helpful. I am assuming that the Rumplestiltskin-like creature in the story was short like some sort of gnome, but I was left to fill in that blank on my own. I can't hold that against the story however, as it's more a product of the nature of the beast when retelling an existing story. (I have a particular image in mind of what I think Rumplestiltskin looks like, and it's hard to shake what's already established in my head.)
All in all, I feel that with a bit more elbow grease thrown in, the true potential of this story could well be brought out. It's definitely worth sticking with.
July 21, 2013
Ablaze, by Harsh Thakar, is a clever take on an old fairy tale. Unfortunately it reads more like an outline or first draft than a finished product. Which is a shame, since what I did read exposed the originality of a delightfully twisted mind. I found myself frustrated not only by the language issues but also by the undeveloped potential.
An axiom of writing: "Easy writing is hard reading; easy reading is hard writing," is never more clearly illustrated than in this book but the potential for a knock your socks off story is so very clear. I hope the author keeps on writing, and finds a strong critique group that serves up tough love in every review. The effort will be worth the time spent.
An axiom of writing: "Easy writing is hard reading; easy reading is hard writing," is never more clearly illustrated than in this book but the potential for a knock your socks off story is so very clear. I hope the author keeps on writing, and finds a strong critique group that serves up tough love in every review. The effort will be worth the time spent.
abandoned
January 6, 2016I just couldn't get into it, from the second sentence when I wondered who Tom was. I gave up. Sorry.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews