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Our Time: Breaking the Silence of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
Active-duty LGBT soldiers share their stories of serving under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," revealing an intimate portrait of military life Our Time marks the end of more than a decade of silence, giving voice to the LGBT men and women who served under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." These individuals enlisted knowing that the military would ask them to bury an integral part of themselves and yet joined because of their deep belief that the values of the military were worth the tremendous sacrifice. Our Time is their story. Edited by air force officer J. D. Smith, a cofounder of the underground LGBT military organization OutServe, Our Time is a collection of remarkable depth and diversity. We witness the abuse-physical and mental-endured at the hands of fellow soldiers and superiors. We see the hardships faced by their families and partners and feel the pain of the choice between military and self. There are also examples of humanity at its very leaders with the courage to support their comrades in the face of tremendous pressure, friendships forged and minds opened, and love that endures the very toughest of odds. Throughout we are reminded of the bravery and selflessness of the men and women who chose to serve our country and defend our liberties while their own freedom was withheld. At once a testament to the wrongs of the policy and a celebration of the good that endured in spite of it, Our Time marks the start of a new era in our national history.
- GenresNonfictionLGBT
224 pages, Hardcover
First published October 13, 2011
22 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
September 14, 2025
Reading this book, brought up a lot of memories. Some good and some not so good.
I enlisted well before Don't Ask, Don't Tell was a thing. I went straight to the hardcore, enlisting as an infantryman. I embraced it, trained hard and excelled. I had a couple of close calls in my first couple of years but thankfully, I escaped notice. The funny thing was that in 1987 while in Germany as a new private I actually had someone say to me many of the guys thought I was gay. I guess it was because I showed no real interest in the women at the bars we frequented. The thing was it was not an accusation or a derogatory comment, it was just simply stated as a matter of fact. No one confronted me over it and no one seem to care.
Fast forward several years and DADT has been signed into law. The witch hunts have begun. What happened to someone all depended on the chain of command. I had friends that were discharged using evidence unlawfully obtained. I had other friend that tried to use it to get out and his commander told him to go back to work. (FYI, a blind and deaf person could tell he was gay.)
However, I had already made the decision I was leaving active duty. Being gay and wanting a normal life was part of it, but the most deciding factor was the disillusion of what the Army was becoming with the draw down of the early-mid 90's. Too many officers who cared only about their next promotion and senior enlisted "leaders" with the spine of a jellyfish. Within a week of DADT passing two friends and I had rainbow flags on our vehicles at Fort Bragg. I later found out through co-workers that were watching out for me that I was the subject of more than closed door meeting.
This book goes right the heart of all that. DADT was a disaster that ruined many lives, destroyed careers, and drove people to catastrophic actions. DADT has a body count to it, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
It is wonderful reading the stories of gays in today's military. While obviously not perfect because prejudice and hatred will always exist, it is on the a magnitude of a 1000 better than what I went through.
This book should be read by people who believe DADT was a necessary evil to make that transition. It should be read by today's LGB service members to remember that sacrifices that were made for them to enjoy what they have today. It should be read by politicians and military "leaders" to drive home that their decisions and actions have a very real impact on people's lives.
I enlisted well before Don't Ask, Don't Tell was a thing. I went straight to the hardcore, enlisting as an infantryman. I embraced it, trained hard and excelled. I had a couple of close calls in my first couple of years but thankfully, I escaped notice. The funny thing was that in 1987 while in Germany as a new private I actually had someone say to me many of the guys thought I was gay. I guess it was because I showed no real interest in the women at the bars we frequented. The thing was it was not an accusation or a derogatory comment, it was just simply stated as a matter of fact. No one confronted me over it and no one seem to care.
Fast forward several years and DADT has been signed into law. The witch hunts have begun. What happened to someone all depended on the chain of command. I had friends that were discharged using evidence unlawfully obtained. I had other friend that tried to use it to get out and his commander told him to go back to work. (FYI, a blind and deaf person could tell he was gay.)
However, I had already made the decision I was leaving active duty. Being gay and wanting a normal life was part of it, but the most deciding factor was the disillusion of what the Army was becoming with the draw down of the early-mid 90's. Too many officers who cared only about their next promotion and senior enlisted "leaders" with the spine of a jellyfish. Within a week of DADT passing two friends and I had rainbow flags on our vehicles at Fort Bragg. I later found out through co-workers that were watching out for me that I was the subject of more than closed door meeting.
This book goes right the heart of all that. DADT was a disaster that ruined many lives, destroyed careers, and drove people to catastrophic actions. DADT has a body count to it, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
It is wonderful reading the stories of gays in today's military. While obviously not perfect because prejudice and hatred will always exist, it is on the a magnitude of a 1000 better than what I went through.
This book should be read by people who believe DADT was a necessary evil to make that transition. It should be read by today's LGB service members to remember that sacrifices that were made for them to enjoy what they have today. It should be read by politicians and military "leaders" to drive home that their decisions and actions have a very real impact on people's lives.
January 22, 2012
As the wife of an active duty soldier who has done two tours in Afghanistan my heart breaks for these soldiers and their spouses. Deployments are brutal on those left behind, and I can't imagine how much more difficult they are for men and women who are left to worry not only about their soldier's safety but also whether or not they would even know if their soldier was hurt or killed. And not being able to hug and your kiss soldier when he or she comes home is simply cruel.
I am glad that DADT was finally repealed but we have a long way to go until we are providing the kind of support our GLBT soldiers deserve. I think providing spousal benefits would be a good place to start. I hope books like this will raise awareness and also let our soldiers know we care about their struggles abd are proud to support them and their spouses and families.
I am glad that DADT was finally repealed but we have a long way to go until we are providing the kind of support our GLBT soldiers deserve. I think providing spousal benefits would be a good place to start. I hope books like this will raise awareness and also let our soldiers know we care about their struggles abd are proud to support them and their spouses and families.
February 4, 2016
The writers of these essays have varying experiences, from heartbreaking to heartening, but across all there is a common tone: these are staunch, straight-ahead, military professionals, committed to the values of the military and serving their country. The anti-gay crowd won't be swayed, much less want to pick this up, but people on the fence about DADT and its repeal will realize there is nothing to worry about.
October 27, 2011
Very good short essays from many gay or supportive service members, regarding their time serving under DADT. Good read for those interested in gay rights.
August 31, 2016
Really compelling first-person stories that tell a side of the struggle with being gay in the military that I hadn't considered.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews