What's a nice reviewer like me doing in a book like this?
Well, I have been disturbed recently by the gradual infusion of BDSM into popular culture, culminating in the chart-rogering 50 Shades of Grey, and the song by Rihanna called S&M ("pain is my pleasure… chains and whips excite me") which was No 1 in various countries, enjoyed by millions of teenyboppers. Reviews of 50 Shades and co-incidentally or not Story of O have been popping up all over Goodreads lately. BDSM has gone mainstream.
It's all very well, and I would be the last to rain goldenly on anyone's parade (I mean, this stuff was being lampooned amusingly by Tom Lehrer back in the 60s :
You can raise welts like nobody elts
As we dance to the Masochism tango)
but it's beginning to bug me now. Because – surprise!! - 99% of the Ms in the S&M relationships are women.* Yes, these are all stories of men beating and humiliating women and women wanting men to beat and humiliate them. How delicious! So the message, whether intentional or not, is : some women like pain. And further : when some women say no, really they mean yes. Aka she was asking for it.
This was the kind of unreconstructed misogyny bandied around in the 1950s, before feminism. Now it's rebranded itself as transgressive and daring and it's big.
I looked at some reviews of 50 Shades of Gray and was immediately put off reading that one. One review said something like this book is crap, the really good no-holds-barred BDSM novel which is actually really well written is Topping from Below. And I thought well, I can't get on my soapbox again without reading an example of this stuff, so here I am.
Ugh.
Blech.
Sick bag!
No, a bigger one please. Thank you.
Please note – what follows is full of spoilerish comments and allusions to some very unwholesome practices.
If you take the S&M stuff out of this novel you have an adequately written stupid thriller. A strong independent woman suspects that her sister's boyfriend murdered her, as do the police. But they can't get any evidence. So she befriends him (like you would). He immediately tells her – ah, you think I killed your sister and you're going to try to find evidence! She says – yes, I do, you bastard, you killed my sister. So they start sleeping together, like you would. Well, you would if you were in an erotic thriller, because it's compulsory.
You can see that the plot is the usual silliness. But the sex is serious. The villain is referred to as M thoughout the novel. M likes to beat women, tie them up and that kind of thing. He describes what he does as consensual.
Question : What is consent ? Use example of mummification in your answer.
Example 1 – The boyfriend proposes mummification. The girlfriend smashes him over the head with a dinner plate, and the dinner is still on it. The bouillabaise goes everywhere. The stain on the wall will puzzle future residents. The girlfriend storms out and never sees the guy again. That is not consent.
Example 2 – The boyfriend proposes mummification. The girlfriend asks what it is, it sounds intriguing. Boyfriend explains that he wishes to wrap her body head to toe in clingfilm: " You'll be completely immobilised. You won't be able to see or hear. The only thing you'll have is air holes. Total sensory deprivation. It might last for hours, time will mean nothing to you, and I won't unwrap you until it sounds like you're beginning to breathe funny." Girlfriend says, ooh yes, let's do that now! That's consent.
Example 3 – The boyfriend is rich & handsome, the girlfriend is on the plump side and generally not that personable. She knows she'll never get anyone remotely like this again, it's a one time thing. She's in love, really. So he suggests mummification. She hates the idea, she's afraid of it, she thinks he's a freak, but she's not going to smash him over the head with the dinner plate. She murmers dubiously, suggests counter-proposals ("just bandage my feet"), he brushes them all aside. He says look, you do this or you're out that door. She never says yes. He pushes her into a room and mummifies her. She's absolutely terrified. Is this consent?
"Hey, M - You know, she really didn't consent, did she? "
"Well, she could have walked out the door. I wouldn't have stopped her. "
(Cops say: Some guys think that if the woman gives him a blow job while he's pointing a gun at her, that's consent. The guy will say – "she consented! She coulda not consented." Yeah? But you would have shot her. "Yeah well – she consented." - quote from a book called "What Cops Know")
Consent is the thing this novel plays around with the most – Nora never consents to being tied up and whipped but M does so anyway and she fights and screams and all of that and - oh really well I never - after he's done beating her she finds that she –in some mystical way – really enjoyed it – as he knew she would. So she consents in retrospect.
(p167)
I'm not sure how the pain figures into all this, but on some sexual level I enjoy being dominated, being controlled by another person. I can't explain it. As a feminist, it goes against everything I believe.
Nora continues to consent to all this by continuing to turn up at M's house. So all the S&M scenes give the strong idea of NON-consent, but the consent is always given in retrospect. And the apparent illusion of non-consent is what makes the thrill so great for both parties.
Aargh, my head is hurting.
Just to make us all feel better, Laura Reese throws in two psychological explanations for these sisters' acquiescence to all the whippings and torture – the younger one always felt responsible for the death of her younger brother , and the older one feels guilty about her former indifference to the younger one. So you know on some level this is why they want a man to beat them! But then she also throws in stuff like this speech by M :
You're going to enjoy this, Nora. Immensely. Once your freedom of choice is removed, once you give yourself over to me, you'll experience a new kind of liberation : complete abandon, no responsibility, no choice but to accept the pleasure and the pain I give you.
Okay, now here are a couple of quotes from the blurbs on the back:
Fiendishly horny, unexpectedly affecting – Mary Gaitskell
Sex is kinky and love is twisted. A daring erotic thriller – San francisco Chronicle
The plot is sparked by a dangerous current of eroticism –
Harpers Bazaar
A compelling plot intertwined with steamy scenes. When's the last time you read raunchy sex and a good mystery in the same book? – Playboy
Devilishly pornographic – Publisher's weekly
See how they're sort of all going oo-la-la this is so naughty but nice? Aren't we wicked? Well, now I must mention that on p180 M pulls out a video and asks Nora to watch it – "there are only two actors in this film, a man in his forties and a young girl . She appears to be nine or ten." That's right, Mr Naughty but Consensual Bondage likes kiddieporn. It slightly bothers Nora but she sleeps with him anyway. Then later, this fiendishly horny novel gives us a detailed scene between our heroine Nora and M's Great Dane. That's right, it's a dog, not a euphemism. I found that scene unexpectedly affecting, as Ms Gaitskell says. I should hastily mention that the Nora/Great Dane encounter is presented as entirely consensual and "the taboo nature of the act aroused me immensely". So, you know, no harm done!
(So according to Mary Gaitskell kiddieporn and sex with animals is fiendishly horny. I'm so glad I've only ever given Mary Gaitskell bad reviews.)
One last point - it's hard to know what Laura Reese thinks about people. Does she really think a woman would get into a sexual relationship with a guy who she thinks tortured her sister to death
in order that she might be able to find out something incriminating? Honestly, this is that kind of unbelievable rubbish people only do in thrillers, which is why I mostly dislike thrillers. Or am i wrong? Do you know anyone who has deliberately slept with someone they thought murdered a close relative? Maybe it happens a lot and I just live a sheltered life. Please let me know! Add a message in the space provided! It just seems to me that thrillers attempt to portray a realistic believable world (no magical realism, no talking animals) with lots of convincing local details (this takes place very specifically in Davis, California, and, you know, I think the city should sue!) but then populates it with crazy unbelievable characters. Maybe the thrillers wouldn't be thrilling if people behaved normally in them.
I can't think of a way to end this review so I'll just say - don't read this book. I hope I spoiled it for you.
* e.g. in these movies
Belle de Jour
Last tango in Paris
9 ½ weeks
Damage
The Night Porter
In the Realm of the Senses
The Piano Teacher
Blue Velvet
Secretary
A Serbian Film
The Killer Inside Me