Househusband

by Ad Hudler

Lincoln Menner is finding out just how hard it is to be a woman. When his wife Jo was offered her dream job, Linc supported her wholeheartedly, leaving his thriving landscape business in Los Angeles and moving to Rochester, New York. This was a chance to escape the cloying needs and atrocious tastes of his celebrity clientele, start over in fresh surroundings, and spend a little quality time with their three-year-old daughter, Violet.

But Linc had no idea what it really meant to be a househusband: To stay home every day, folding laundry, cleaning soap scum, and teaching his little girl to use the potty. To be ignored at parties by his wife's colleagues who see him as just a homemaker. To be looked upon with suspicious eyes by the neighborhood women who can't understand what sort of man would choose to stay home. And with each new day, Linc is sure that the next load of whites will be the one that sends him off the deep end.

Though he has the house humming, Linc misses the outside world, longing to carry on an adult conversation with adult friends (the electrician and the UPS guy are starting to avoid him). Most of all he misses Jo, who is working all hours of the day and night and barely notices the fabulous dinners he slaves over, much less the husband who cooked them. And then there is Marilyn, the attractive next-door neighbor, who has been so friendly and supportive. . . .

Now the only thing Linc knows for sure is that something's got to give. Should he go back to work and leave Violet in the hands of someone who is sure to be less competent? Or should he give in and embrace his role as househusband extraordinaire? At turns funny, neurotic, and endearingly vulnerable, Linc Menner will win your heart-- and make you wish you had a househusband all your own. (and you'll love the recipes!).

Genres: Fiction, Book Club, Chick Lit, Adult Fiction, Humor

304 pages, Hardcover

First published April 16, 2002

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though this could have been a really promising topic, I thought the author handled the idea of becoming a househusband (or stay-at-home dad) in a superficial & silly way. I liked that it was funny and off-kilter, as that lent itself to the general mindset of Linc Menner during his first foray into being the at-home parent. However, I really took issue with feminizing him in order to make him a better, more competent caregiver. It was as if a man's man must be incapable of properly running a home and caring for a child, and in order to become competent, he had to abandon some of his overtly male traits and take on "mothering" traits. What really put me off the most was the reference on more than one occasion of Linc being a good mother, mothering well, or some other similar turn of phrase. The fact was that he was a good DADDY - why was it not enough to say that? A man can certainly be a nurturer to his children without losing his masculinity, but this author (a man) seems unable to create that character. He instead creates this overly sensitive, emotional man who starts to shun the company of other men in favor of the company of their wives, even when there are opportunities to cultivate those relationships. He also becomes defensive (which actually might be realistic) and righteously indignant about everything he perceives to be a slight against stay-at-home parenting, taking it upon himself in more than one situation to "set the record straight" about his job...hence the oversensitivity and hyper-emotionalism.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Linc Menner had grown frustrated with his landscaping business, when his wife, Jo, was offered her dream job. Happy to have a fresh start and support his wife, Linc packed up the house and their daughter, Violet, to move across the country. Now, in unfamiliar territory, Linc finds himself in the position of househusband. Slowly but surely he learns the new, necessary duties of making his house a loving home, while raising his precocious three-year-old. As Jo becomes more and more involved in her work, Linc sees her less often and as the responsibilities take over, Linc begins to lose himself. Will their marriage be at risk or is Linc the perfect HouseHusband?

With a sarcastic wit, Ad Hudler builds the imperfect world that absorbs readers into the daily chores and hazards of a stay-at-home caregiver. The short, easy to read chapters make this a great choice for busy, overwhelmed readers. Written with bits of stream-of-consciousness, readers will chuckle at how one thought triggers a completely opposite task. Since the main character is very mindful of the food his family eats, there are delicious recipes included that will entice readers’ stomachs. Anyone who has spent time at home to care for a loved one can relate to Linc’s constant struggle against dust bunnies, losing one’s identity, and the constant need to defend one’s worth.

Notes:
This review was written for Sasee Magazine and My Sister's Books.
This review was posted on the Ariesgrl Book Reviews website.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Linc Menner is a man who has just given up his job as a very successful landscaper in California to move to Western New York, where his wife has been hired to be CEO of a hospital. While Jo, his wife, laments her 12 hour days, Linc is left to deal with the whisperings of his neighborhood housewives who don't trust a man around their children (including his own 3 year old daughter), the struggles of maintaining a household, the pressures of being supportive of his wife, and his own struggle to find meaning in a life defined by laundry and cooking.

The book reminded me a bit of an updated version of the old Michael Keaton film Mr. Mom. Linc and Jo have to find their own ways to deal with his being a stay-at-home dad and it's so entertaining to read Linc whining about having to go be arm candy at his wife's corporate events, while she complains that she doesn't get to spend enough time with 3-year-old Violet. When they finally find their balance, it's wonderful. I loved hearing Linc become whiny and dependent and his wife annoyed and distant. It really cracked me up. Good stuff.

[MaryJo · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author does a decent job depicting some of the stresses and frustrations in the life of a stay-at-home mom. The book drags on a bit, and I grew tired of the character and his conceited, overly controlling personality. In his own eyes, he was the best imaginable parent. Infinitely wiser than the moms in the neighborhood who let their kids watch (gasp!) The Little Mermaid and eat cheetos. His child is the most polite, well-behaved child in the neighborhood, speaking in full sentences at the age of 3. The book may have been more interesting if the kid were less of a paragon of virtue, and more like a normal 3 year old. Those of us with multiple kids know that it is only a matter of time (and number of kids) before he is knocked off his high horse and discovers that it was actually the child, and not his superior parenting skills. The best part of the book was the descriptions of food, and the recipes. I am eager to try some of them.

[Diane · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this was an interesting book. I did look at some things in a new light after reading it. However, it was burdened by cliches and the 'battle between masculine and feminine.' For the most part, my husband and I (who both work from home) don't worry so much about 'manliness' or 'womanliness.' I kind of wanted him to just do what needed to be done and quit whining about it.

Everyone cleans their houses (although we're not all so anal and weird). Everyone has to clean up after their children. Everyone worries about being a good parent while living up to their own potentials as independent human beings.

But a whole book about it? I don't know. Just deal with it.

[Robin Reynolds · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went into this book thinking it was going to be light, amusing chick lit (for lack of a better word) style, even though it’s written by a man. I mean, look at that cartoon cover. But it was actually a deeper, almost depressing look at what it means to be a stay at home parent, losing your own identity in the shadow of your working spouse.

Staying home starts out as a temporary situation. Jo has gotten a really good executive level job and the family have moved across the country. While Jo settles into her new job, Linc takes care of three year old Violet, and gets the new household up and running. But when he begins looking for a nanny, he can’t find anyone he likes as much as the one they had to leave behind, and staying home with Violet rather than looking for work stretches out longer and longer.

I didn’t relate to either Linc or Jo, having been a working parent for my daughters’ entire lives, but still being the primary care giver as well since my husband also worked. My older daughter started day care at nine months, and my younger at two weeks, which would have horrified Linc, a controlling snob. Spotless house. Healthy gourmet meals. Violet is not allowed to eat junk food, and when she starts refusing to eat carrots, he cuts them up small, makes a little incision into pieces of tortellini and sticks a piece of carrot inside so she’ll eat them without realizing it. She can watch Pocahontas, a strong female role model with “…knowledge of plant life, awareness of the biosphere and where she fits into it. Respect for her father. Curiosity of things unknown” etc., but she isn’t allowed to watch Rugrats, “one big lesson in how to mock and sneak around authority figures” or The Little Mermaid, “no redeeming traits. Zero. She continually defies her father and wants nothing more than to be some rich hunk’s bride.” I got exhausted just reading about everything Linc does.

I loved this line:

"I tried to tell my clients that flowers were intended to be random, dropped into place by birds and the wind. Flowers should be occasional, visual surprises, like a found conch shell on the beach."

An enjoyable, quick, but unremarkable story.

Review originally posted on my blog.

[Kay Huck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pulpwood Queens, you are in for a grand evening with Ad Hudler to talk about books and all things literary and the theme of his latest book Man of the House and gender identification. How many times as I was reading this book did I think, he's nailed it, he really understands and communicates well, what it means to be a stay-at-home caregiver. What I found insightful was the passion he gave the main character, Linc Menner, in his role of man of the house; candlelight dinners, extravagant dinner parties, great care in finding the perfect home accessories, due diligence in interactions with teachers and principals. Just all around Perfect! Then as the house is remodeled, Linc also begins a remodeling job on his character. Hilarious to the point of laugh out loud, a totally enjoyable book.

AND not only are we reading this book for our July 14th meeting, Ad has us a a stop on his Tailgate Tour! To celebrate our good fortune we are opening up our meeting to the public and joining with the Calcasieu Parish Public Library to host this event.

So put grab your tiara, your hot pink T-shirt and Man of the House, to meet up at the Central Branch Library corner of Claude St and Ernest St in Lake Charles on July 14 from 5 - 7:30 pm!

We are asking each member to bring 2-3 dozen cookies/brownies for refreshments.


--
Posted By Kay Huck to Southwest Louisiana Pulpwood Queens Book Club at 7/08/2010 03:52:00 PM

[Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an endearing, funny, neurotic, hilarious novel about a "house husband". Lincoln Menner well-known landscape artist turned "Mr. Mom" while his CEO wife Jo, heads up the local operations at a large city hospital. Linc, alone all day with Violet, the couple's toddler learns how to handle diapers, potty training, dinners and housework. This was an "enjoyable" way to spend part of my day off!!

From back cover:
"When his wife Jo, is offered her dream job, Lincoln Menner leaves his thriving landscape business in Los Angeles and moves to Rochester, New York. This will be his chance to start over, spend a little time with their three-year-old daughter, and finally do things right at home.

But Linc had no idea what it really meant to be a househusband: to stay home every day, folding laundry, cleaning soap scum, and teaching his little girl to use the potty. To be ignored at parties by his wife's colleagues who see him as just a homemaker. Though he soon has the house humming, Linc misses the outside world. Most of all he misses Jo, who works too late and barely notices the fabulous dinners he slaves over. Drastic action must be taken to make his efficiently run house truly a home, sweet home. And Linc knows he is just the man for the job!"

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

"When his wife, Jo, is offered her dream job, Lincoln Menner leaves his thriving landscape business in Los Angeles and moves to Rochester, New York. This will be his chance to start over, spend a little time with their three-year-old daughter, and finally do things right at home.

But Linc had no idea what it really meant to be a househusband: to stay home every day, folding laundry, cleaning soap scum, and teaching his little girl to use the potty. To be ignored at parties by his wife’s colleagues who see him as just a homemaker. Though he soon has the house humming, Linc misses the outside world. Most of all he misses Jo, who works too late and barely notices the fabulous dinners he slaves over. Drastic action must be taken to make his efficiently run house truly a home, sweet home. And Linc knows he is just the man for the job!"

It took me a couple of chapters to get into this book and then I enjoyed it enough to only read a couple chapters a day. I really liked how in a "man's way" he found out what it was like to be a housewife, how he did the daily things (and often much more efficiently then most women do) --- how he handled little Violet and how he really truly enjoyed it! A good read!

[Chelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

easy read. so, that is nice. I gave it three stars because I felt like it was uneventful, as being a stay at home parent is. Even though he talked about how much he was influencing his daughters life, that was all he had good to say about it. I felt like he really dwelled on the negative, which probably makes it a good book for someone who does not stay at home so, they can know how it feels. It made it depressing for me. The added recipes are kind of neat although, there was probably only one I would actually make. I still liked it because it was relatable. I just think there is more joy to staying at home then he was able to touch upon.

[Kiersten · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, this was a fun read! Wonderful descriptive analogies, laugh-out-loud funny, interesting. I enjoyed seeing the stay-at-home motherhood described in a way that elucidates things that I hadn't considered, even having lived those years with little ones. He is a creative dad and I appreciated the things that he spent his time doing. After being a homeschooling mom, I think I would be a different mother of toddlers if I could do it over again. I am actually making one of the recipes from the book this week.

[Kerry Cerra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book many years ago with my book club, but it's stuck with me all this time. As a young stay at home mom, it appealed to my why-did-i-sign-up-for-this-unappreciated-exhausting-mess-fest-of-a-job? Ad Hudler hit the nail on the head with his portrait of a full time care taker. I laughed a lot and particularly loved the "vine" in the story. You'll have to read to see what I mean.

I'm not sure if he ever wrote anything else, but plan to check it out now.

UPDATE: Wow, I see he did write a few more. Going to have to add them to my TBR list.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

A hilarious take on what happens when the husband stays home and the wife goes off to work the high powered job.

Ad Hudler explores the gender roles and dynamics found within the family, marriage and society at large. The best part is - he makes you laugh while also making you think.

I look forward to reading Man of the House, the second installment of the Menner Family next.

I am sure I will be laughing as I turn the pages.

[Angie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Reading for June Book Club. I was just irritated with this book the whole time I was reading it. It didn't make any sense in the beginning. It didn't explain what was going on, rather it assumed that you, as the reader, knew the background of the story.

I would have given it 1 1/2 stars if I could have.

[Audrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book. I was grabbed by the title (as I so often am) but the book didn't pay off for me. Neither the story arc or the character arc carried me away. I liked the sub-plot of the protagonist's wandering mother but I didn't think it brought anything to the main plot.

The author included recipes that the protagonist cooked which I found charming and potentially delicious.

[Shannon D'Arpino · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book for many reasons. I have always generalized "stay at home Mom" without feeling like a "stay at home Dad" has the same feelings. It was eye opening that a man could get it so right. Many of the insecurities felt by parents that choose to stay home.
It was a quick read that I would recommend.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun, light-hearted read. The story is mostly autobiographical, and rings so true it almost hurts. Linc's wife gets her dream job on the East Coast, so Linc sells his successful landscaping business and begins a new life as a homemaker and full time parent to their two year old daughter.

[Marian · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was pretty dumb. Written from the POV of a househusband and all his freaking out about CHORES and being IN CONTROL and having to DO IT ALL. At the same time, it was a quick read and has interesting-sounding recipes. Appropriate for the beach or a plane.

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow! Does he ever go into the mind of any woman who has stayed at home to care for children! This is one funny, fast, entertaining read. There is not much action, but the dialogue (mostly monologue) is witty--sometimes so funny that it is sad.

[Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although the main character is a male, all of his thoughts, comments, etc... have a very feminine voice to me. Even if a man were in the role of a homemaker, he would not sound this girly. I'm trying to overlook this because it is reasonably entertaining.

[JoAnn/QuAppelle Kirk · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very entertaining and sometimes amusing look at a man who has given up his career to stay home and care for their three-year old...and the house with which he becomes obsessed. He gives new meaning to the word "clean". Great observations about "woman's work".

[Mark Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a husband who works from home. I totally connected with the main character. I really enjoyed the way the husband is adding and removing from his mental to do list. The recipes were the only thing I would have left out. They are necessary for the main character's love of cooking.

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun and smart meditation on gender roles in our society. By making the "husband" the primary caregiver, Hudler manages to allow us to think even more about how women and stay-at-home mothers are treated. In that sense, this is a book as much about women as it is about men.

[Carolee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yuk! Although the author's knowledge of plants was handy ... I've started to let my one ivy go ... let's see if I can get it to lap the room. This was a man trying to write a chick book ... didn't work for me - in fact, more than once found myself muttering 'wimp' under my breath.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good read. A male author gets what it's like to be a stay-at-home parent, complete with all the organized chaos that goes with it. It was a refreshing read, knowing I'm not the only parent who loses their mind from time to time!

[Debra · Rating 3 out of 5]

When the fammily relocates from California to New York for Joanne's job, husband Linc stays home to take care of Violet and their new home. He wants to find work, has to find work, but in the end, he decides raising their children is the best job he can have.

[Emily Griffin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not exactly a literary masterpiece but as a stay at home mum with two little ones, I could definitely relate and it was interesting to read a males perspective. I think I will be encouraging my husband to read this one, it might give him a bit of insight!

[Alyssa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this to satisfy the "book set in my hometown" part of the 2015 reading challenge. I'm pretty sure the author has never stepped foot in Rochester and merely researched it, poorly, on the internet. The writing was lack luster and superficial.

[Missy Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story about a stay at home dad and he even provides recipes!!

[Betty]

I gave it the 10% but I just couldn't get into it.