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The Appalling Strangeness of The Mercy of God: The Story of Ruth Pakaluk - Convert, Mother & Pro-Life Activist
This book is the powerful story of an amazing woman, Ruth Pakaluk, who converted to Catholicism at Harvard, married her college sweetheart and joyfully welcomed seven children. She became a renowned pro-life leader and brilliant debater, who was struck with breast cancer and died at the young age of forty-one. Ruth's inspiring story is told primarily through her humorous, sparkling and insightful letters in which her realistic cheerfulness shines. A biographical overview by her husband fills in important details about her life, and a collection of her talks on abortion, faith and being a Catholic wife and mother conclude the volume. Ruth Pakaluk exemplified the powerful integrity of someone who lived what she believed. She was steadfastly committed to Christ and to the culture of life, and this commitment was manifested in her consistent affirmation of life in her family, in society and even in the face of her own death. Peter Kreeft, well known Professor of Philosophy and author, described Ruth as the best, most effective and inspiring pro-life speaker he had ever heard. She was such a compelling, articulate pro-life debater that eventually Planned Parenthood spokeswomen refused to spar with her in public. All Ruth's virtues revealed in this book - her love as a devoted wife and mother, her zeal for the truth, and her faith & hope while battling a terminal illness - offer inspiration and encouragement to anyone striving to put Christian faith into action.
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First published April 8, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
June 6, 2018
Ruth Pakaluk, a Harvard graduate and resident of the Diocese of Worcester, MA, and now a possible candidate for Catholic sainthood, was a woman who was endowed with a razor sharp intelligence who did not mince words or kowtow to anyone willing to argue against her penetrating and articulate pro-life stances. She eagerly met them head-on. She called a spade a spade when she heard it and was nobody’s pushover. She was the perfect person to helm the Massachusetts Citizens for Life (MCFL), a wonderful caring advocacy organization that works nonstop to highlight the tragedy of abortion while adroitly advocating the importance of life on all fronts.
These letters were so compelling to read, because they revealed an intimacy of social, political and religious thought and belief that was not just direct, but it was also penetratingly intelligent and insightful. There is a fluidity to the act whereby the subconscious just can’t help but come to the forefront, like a gateway to the soul that is opened. Letter-writing requires concentration and a degree of quiet contemplation; it allows a writer to really enter into their own self whereby they are interiorly exposed in an honest way that just can’t come through on a social media platform, an electronic rostrum, I think, that genuinely hardens people for the worst and substitutes a human reality for a virtual one. There is a purgation in letter writing that is almost akin to confession, minus the important absolution one is graced with by the priest who acts in persona Christi.
While at Harvard, Ruth Pakaluk fell in love, cautiously explored Christianity, converted to Catholicism, married and gave birth. After that, she then graduated from Harvard University (quite an accomplishment). However, her political and social impressions shifted in light of her faith and family life. Once a liberal atheist or humanist (the term now in vogue), she and her boyfriend, than fiance, than husband Michael (a Harvard philosophy major) wanted to conduct a social experiment that tested Christianity. There was no commitment to belief, as it was only an experiment of sorts. Yet, in that clinical assessment and disconnect to faith, there was something lacking within themselves, despite their brilliance. They were searching for a missing piece. In their quest, it was helpful that they were at least open-minded and intellectual enough to consider a lack of faith as the cause of their interior void. However, for whatever reason, they were drawn to Christianity. Call it God’s guiding influence. In it, they found community, compassion, sacrifice, all the hallmarks that not only fit Michael’s classical philosophical benchmark of the transcendent divine truth but a substantial sub-reality or rather overt one that existed all along. The supreme Divine was always present. They just had to play catch-up to see. He, along with Ruth, were a dynamic duo of quasi religious and philosophic explorers who read, debated, challenged, engaged with anyone and everyone in order to refine what it was they sensed or had tapped in to. Culling out all the excesses that were not germane to their search, they found, and for Michael, rediscovered, Catholicism. And from then on, their lives would never be the same. They really were a modern-day Sheldon and Davy Vanauken from the National Book Award winning autobiography A Severe Mercy. At least their search for truth was similar.
After marriage came more kids and the normal day-to-day routines of a working family. In time the Pakaluk Family became involved with Opus Dei, meaning Work of God, the lay apostolate founded by Saint Josemaría Escrivá. In it, lay Catholics are called to holiness by living the ordinary life in an extraordinary way. And Ruth Pakaluk lived that challenge to the hilt. As she became more socially and politically engaged, her scrupulous attention turned to the pro-life movement and local politics. She was a self-educated, adept and articulate speaker on pro-life issues from early on, so it was not a stretch to channel that energy to the area of advocacy. Modern day media certainly does noting to spotlight the pro-life view. And it was no different back then. As a staple in the pro-life movement, she crisscrossed the country giving talks at conferences and college campuses, making enemies to be sure, but because she excelled at debate, abortion proponents were very hard pressed to debate her. She could cut all the clichés down to their bare bones using science and hardcore logic. Reading these letters, I am amazed at what a jam packed life she led and how readily available she was to all who her sought her out, even those who disagreed with her. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer and ultimately succumbed from it, it was still amazing the workload that she carried, from hosting her own local T.V. program, to getting people elected to local office, to the March for Life, to the bevy of kids she took care of all, the way down to the writing of these intelligent and thought-provoking letters that now comprise this book. The beginning chapters cover her years at Harvard and her circle of friends, then followed by her married life and children, etc, all the things one would typically expect. But further on, especially pages 160 onward, the letters get more politically savvy and theologically contemplative - in a pragmatic and proactive way. The good-bye letters to her kids-seven in all-were tough but loving and made for the most touching reading of all. Her talks, included in the latter half of the book, also made for illuminating reading, especially: Sanctifying Ordinary Work, The Eucharist and Suffering: Living our Crosses. But there was just so much more. When I finished the letters, all I could say was, Servant of God Ruth Pakaluk, pray for us. An inspiring read!
These letters were so compelling to read, because they revealed an intimacy of social, political and religious thought and belief that was not just direct, but it was also penetratingly intelligent and insightful. There is a fluidity to the act whereby the subconscious just can’t help but come to the forefront, like a gateway to the soul that is opened. Letter-writing requires concentration and a degree of quiet contemplation; it allows a writer to really enter into their own self whereby they are interiorly exposed in an honest way that just can’t come through on a social media platform, an electronic rostrum, I think, that genuinely hardens people for the worst and substitutes a human reality for a virtual one. There is a purgation in letter writing that is almost akin to confession, minus the important absolution one is graced with by the priest who acts in persona Christi.
While at Harvard, Ruth Pakaluk fell in love, cautiously explored Christianity, converted to Catholicism, married and gave birth. After that, she then graduated from Harvard University (quite an accomplishment). However, her political and social impressions shifted in light of her faith and family life. Once a liberal atheist or humanist (the term now in vogue), she and her boyfriend, than fiance, than husband Michael (a Harvard philosophy major) wanted to conduct a social experiment that tested Christianity. There was no commitment to belief, as it was only an experiment of sorts. Yet, in that clinical assessment and disconnect to faith, there was something lacking within themselves, despite their brilliance. They were searching for a missing piece. In their quest, it was helpful that they were at least open-minded and intellectual enough to consider a lack of faith as the cause of their interior void. However, for whatever reason, they were drawn to Christianity. Call it God’s guiding influence. In it, they found community, compassion, sacrifice, all the hallmarks that not only fit Michael’s classical philosophical benchmark of the transcendent divine truth but a substantial sub-reality or rather overt one that existed all along. The supreme Divine was always present. They just had to play catch-up to see. He, along with Ruth, were a dynamic duo of quasi religious and philosophic explorers who read, debated, challenged, engaged with anyone and everyone in order to refine what it was they sensed or had tapped in to. Culling out all the excesses that were not germane to their search, they found, and for Michael, rediscovered, Catholicism. And from then on, their lives would never be the same. They really were a modern-day Sheldon and Davy Vanauken from the National Book Award winning autobiography A Severe Mercy. At least their search for truth was similar.
After marriage came more kids and the normal day-to-day routines of a working family. In time the Pakaluk Family became involved with Opus Dei, meaning Work of God, the lay apostolate founded by Saint Josemaría Escrivá. In it, lay Catholics are called to holiness by living the ordinary life in an extraordinary way. And Ruth Pakaluk lived that challenge to the hilt. As she became more socially and politically engaged, her scrupulous attention turned to the pro-life movement and local politics. She was a self-educated, adept and articulate speaker on pro-life issues from early on, so it was not a stretch to channel that energy to the area of advocacy. Modern day media certainly does noting to spotlight the pro-life view. And it was no different back then. As a staple in the pro-life movement, she crisscrossed the country giving talks at conferences and college campuses, making enemies to be sure, but because she excelled at debate, abortion proponents were very hard pressed to debate her. She could cut all the clichés down to their bare bones using science and hardcore logic. Reading these letters, I am amazed at what a jam packed life she led and how readily available she was to all who her sought her out, even those who disagreed with her. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer and ultimately succumbed from it, it was still amazing the workload that she carried, from hosting her own local T.V. program, to getting people elected to local office, to the March for Life, to the bevy of kids she took care of all, the way down to the writing of these intelligent and thought-provoking letters that now comprise this book. The beginning chapters cover her years at Harvard and her circle of friends, then followed by her married life and children, etc, all the things one would typically expect. But further on, especially pages 160 onward, the letters get more politically savvy and theologically contemplative - in a pragmatic and proactive way. The good-bye letters to her kids-seven in all-were tough but loving and made for the most touching reading of all. Her talks, included in the latter half of the book, also made for illuminating reading, especially: Sanctifying Ordinary Work, The Eucharist and Suffering: Living our Crosses. But there was just so much more. When I finished the letters, all I could say was, Servant of God Ruth Pakaluk, pray for us. An inspiring read!
June 23, 2023
I can't recommend this book enough. It is like reading about another St. Gianna Molla, but from the city that I was born and raised in!! I now feel as if this amazing and beautiful woman is a close spiritual friend of mine on the other side - as if we could have been best friends had we lived at the same time. Her intellect and ability to clearly speak the truth really inspires me!
I recommend this book to anyone, Catholic or not. Especially those who call themselves pro abortion. Ruth's amazing speeches (especially the last two on the last pages of the book) are a MUST READ for anyone who is for or against Abortion.
God bless this woman. I am so glad that I got to read her story and will continue to go back and read snippets. ❤❤
I recommend this book to anyone, Catholic or not. Especially those who call themselves pro abortion. Ruth's amazing speeches (especially the last two on the last pages of the book) are a MUST READ for anyone who is for or against Abortion.
God bless this woman. I am so glad that I got to read her story and will continue to go back and read snippets. ❤❤
May 20, 2021
I mostly liked this book, though I think I would have preferred more of a straight narrative, rather than the division between biography, letters, and speeches. My book club did enjoy discussing the book and we found Ruth's life very inspiring.
January 12, 2014
This is a great collection of letters and talks from the life of Ruth Pakaluk who was an extremely intelligent and devoted pro-life activist who died of cancer at the age of 41. In her many public debates and conferences she convincingly approached abortion from the human rights view that all humans have the right to life, no matter if they are born or unborn. As a Harvard student she converted to the Catholic faith and her personal writings reveal a deep trust in the Lord and a longing for heaven. I believe she is a particularly good intercessor for mothers and anyone who fights for truth, especially the truth of the dignity of every human life. Read this book and you will gain a great friend in heaven!
April 9, 2012
Wow. This is a great collection of letters and speeches written by Ruth Pakaluk, someone about whom more people need to hear. Adorable details about her six children and many other anecdotal passages are included in the letters; in fact, most of the pro-life and theological/philosophical parts are in the short talks in the back of the book. But those few talks (and her letter to Ted Kennedy) were wonderful. Ruth was an amazing woman, and I can only hope to one day look back on my life - as she did - and say that it was the best life God could have given me.
February 15, 2018
I had this book on my to read pile for quite some time. Frankly I was put off by the title. (Appalling and God in the same title.) However , I found it a compelling read and could not put book down.
It is a conversion story, and so much more. I related to Ruth on so many levels. She was a woman of my generation and her letters and talks spoke to me personally. I feel as if I met a new friend. I asked Ruth to pray for the health of my new grandchild yet to be born.
It is a conversion story, and so much more. I related to Ruth on so many levels. She was a woman of my generation and her letters and talks spoke to me personally. I feel as if I met a new friend. I asked Ruth to pray for the health of my new grandchild yet to be born.
February 14, 2017
I enjoyed this book immensely. It is composed mostly of letters, and I found it quite edifying, as a mother and lay person hoping to becoming a saint!
The daily grind and very real everyday life challenges come through in Ruth's letters. Encouraging for us regular Janes.
The notes from her talks about abortion are good too.
The daily grind and very real everyday life challenges come through in Ruth's letters. Encouraging for us regular Janes.
The notes from her talks about abortion are good too.
Read
May 15, 2020I’m glad to have read this one. I don’t think it was really the point of the book, but the thing that struck me most was the correspondence with the pre-conversion friend. She and her friend consistently debated and disagreed about politics and religion, and yet there remained an intimidate friendship. I feel like that wouldn’t happen today as we are so quick to dismiss those who disagree, and rarely take the time for handwritten communication. I finished days ago and I keep thinking of that.
March 27, 2024
I read this as a companion to A Severe Mercy and I’m so glad I did. I attended the college where Michael and Catherine Pakaluk were teaching and always held their family in high regard. I loved this book! Ruth was remarkable! It renewed my pro-life convictions and gave me much to ponder with regard to family life, education, marriage, suffering, motherhood and faith. This is one I’ll turn back to again and again.
April 4, 2019
The book is part biography and part a collection of her letters and talks. I found her story so inspiring but most importantly to me, I found it relatable since she was a Catholic wife and stay-at-home mom living in modern times. I skimmed the letters but didn't skip them because I really enjoyed hearing her "voice" through them.
June 3, 2023
Beautiful compilation of letters of a very interesting woman! Just a PSA: there was elements that were not a good thing to read immediately postpartum. It’s not fun to read about SIDS when you have a newborn in your arms.
January 21, 2024
Read for book club, I'd never heard of her and her busyness and ability to do it all with so many kids is completely intimidating, but her letters were interesting to read and the pro life speeches were good.
January 18, 2020
Yep....
August 5, 2022
Very moving -- helped me greatly to maintain a sense of proportion -- here is a story of heroism in detail with no fanfare. Highly recommended!
November 11, 2018
Remarkable, I admire her faith. She was an intellectual woman and articulate activist. Would read again.
January 17, 2013
This is a book I think everyone should read. I loved each of the parts- the biography, the letters, and the talks. In one of the letters, Ruth declares that Jane Eyre is the best book on marriage ever written, and in another she uses the word "gloaming" (one of my favorite words!), so I definitely give it 5 stars. Ruth was a member of Opus Dei, a supernumerary, and I think the book explains Opus Dei well. I find her talks and writings on human and women rights and abortion very convincing and worth anyone's time, wherever they stand on the issues. I so admire Ruth!
June 14, 2012
Absolutely stunning. Her conversion story and pro-life conversations are fascinating, her intellect and varied interests are impressive, and I was inspired by how much she seemed to accomplish while raising the family and juggling her treatments. Overall, her unwavering faith in response to her death is incredible, and somehow the book manages not to be sad.
March 5, 2015
Extremely quality. Showed me what the life of a saint might look like in my own time, and was a great encouragement and inspiration in my own life.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews