What do you think?
Rate this book
This Could Be Us
Kate has done the unthinkable. She'd worked hard to build a perfect life for herself, while ignoring her growing unhappiness. But when her second child was born profoundly disabled, reality hit. Unable to cope, Kate left - disappearing without a trace. She ends up in LA, with a glittering career and a new family of sorts, but the guilt is still suffocating.
Husband Andrew was left to pick up the pieces and care for their disabled daughter and angry, confused son. Bereft and broken, he leaned on Olivia, Kate's best friend. She's been by his side ever since, ignoring her own needs to meet his.
Years later, Andrew has written a memoir about his daughter learning to communicate against all odds. But when Kate's new producer husband decides he wants to make a film of it, their worlds collide once again. Now, Kate must return to the life she abandoned and reckon with what she did. The guilt and the love. The pain and the hope. In other words, family.
Following a fractured family over a period of twenty years, This Could Be Us is an extraordinarily moving story from bestselling author Claire McGowan.
Husband Andrew was left to pick up the pieces and care for their disabled daughter and angry, confused son. Bereft and broken, he leaned on Olivia, Kate's best friend. She's been by his side ever since, ignoring her own needs to meet his.
Years later, Andrew has written a memoir about his daughter learning to communicate against all odds. But when Kate's new producer husband decides he wants to make a film of it, their worlds collide once again. Now, Kate must return to the life she abandoned and reckon with what she did. The guilt and the love. The pain and the hope. In other words, family.
Following a fractured family over a period of twenty years, This Could Be Us is an extraordinarily moving story from bestselling author Claire McGowan.
336 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 1, 2023
116 people are currently reading
928 people want to read
About the author
Claire McGowan
39 books2,070 followersClaire McGowan grew up in a small village in Northern Ireland. After a degree in English and French from Oxford University she moved to London and worked in the charity sector. THE FALL is her first novel, which is followed by a series starring forensic psychologist Paula Maguire. She also writes as Eva Woods.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews
April 19, 2024
What a ride of emotions I had reading this brilliantly written novel. Claire McGowan was born to write. Her style and delivery is so readable, so relatable and extremely clear. I loved this book so much.
This book is filled with amazing characters that each have their own journey within the plot. Some characters easy to warm to, others you’d like to give a quick slap to. The best bit is that as we follow their lives I found my impressions and opinions of everyone constantly changing. It’s a deep story with an important message.
What if you just don’t feel love for your children? What if you watch all the other mums being naturally maternal and beaming in unconditional love? What if you cannot cope, cannot connect and not only feel an utter heartless bitch for it but you cannot do it anymore? This is Kate. Her wishy~washy husband who can’t make his own decisions and in her view is just well….weak and that’s unattractive. Kate didn’t see this being her lot in life.
Their eldest son Adam is an angry, destructive, rage filled child. Hurting other children and seeming to enjoy it. But Kate’s biggest mum test is her daughter who has been born with such a rare chromosome disorder there is no name for it. No help, no support groups. Kate and Andrew simply get overwhelmed. A baby who even as a teenager will have the body of an 8 year old, will never speak and still be in nappies. No way of communicating with her.
Kate does the unthinkable and sets wheels in motion for so many lives to alter course. The book explores all the players in the plot so well, defines each one and this is a book where in many scenes you can think who’s would you do? Each choice by any link in the chain jingling the other links. These intertwined lives come to a significant and very hard end that was hard for me to read. I wanted a different ending but can see why Claire took it where she did.
So many world events are happening. COVID hits the world, America is divided on its new President. Rumbles of Roe Vs Wade and women’s rights from both camps. Amongst all these the characters walk their journeys and confront themselves and question whst is family really? I loved Olivia (Livvie) as a special character in h book. I loved Adam too with his journey from angry raging child forwards.
It’s not a fast paced book, it’s steady, solid and holds you real close. I had a lot of late nights and just on more chapter! If you love character driven novels with imperfect characters this is for you. If you like your own opinions challenged it’s also for you.
It will make for an ideal book club read, lots of room for debates.
I enjoyed this immensely and shedding light on how raising a disabled child and the unique challenges I connected with having an Autistic son with ADHD and a learning disability. He is 23 now and he’s a young man yet so far behind others that my heart breaks. So I wan to say to anybody reading this with a disabled child this it’s not easy and let those that judge and give ridiculous advice (grapefruit juice can cure Autism) stay in their own lane.
What Kate did isn’t a simple thing but who knows how many Kates are out there right now?
An utterly powerful and brilliant novel that packs so much in. Kudos Claire for this exceptional novel. I hope many decide to read this gem. 5 huge stars!
::~~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~~::
Thanks so much for reading my review!
I hope you enjoyed it, if you did I’d be delighted if you leave me a “like” and I love to read your comments. If you’d like to connect you can follow me or please send me a friend request.
You can also find me on Twitter (X) @bookishcats and on Amazon U.K. where I am a Top 500 Reviewer as Booklover Catlady.
If you are an Author or Publisher and you’d like me to consider reading and reviewing your book(s) please just message me.
This book is filled with amazing characters that each have their own journey within the plot. Some characters easy to warm to, others you’d like to give a quick slap to. The best bit is that as we follow their lives I found my impressions and opinions of everyone constantly changing. It’s a deep story with an important message.
What if you just don’t feel love for your children? What if you watch all the other mums being naturally maternal and beaming in unconditional love? What if you cannot cope, cannot connect and not only feel an utter heartless bitch for it but you cannot do it anymore? This is Kate. Her wishy~washy husband who can’t make his own decisions and in her view is just well….weak and that’s unattractive. Kate didn’t see this being her lot in life.
Their eldest son Adam is an angry, destructive, rage filled child. Hurting other children and seeming to enjoy it. But Kate’s biggest mum test is her daughter who has been born with such a rare chromosome disorder there is no name for it. No help, no support groups. Kate and Andrew simply get overwhelmed. A baby who even as a teenager will have the body of an 8 year old, will never speak and still be in nappies. No way of communicating with her.
Kate does the unthinkable and sets wheels in motion for so many lives to alter course. The book explores all the players in the plot so well, defines each one and this is a book where in many scenes you can think who’s would you do? Each choice by any link in the chain jingling the other links. These intertwined lives come to a significant and very hard end that was hard for me to read. I wanted a different ending but can see why Claire took it where she did.
So many world events are happening. COVID hits the world, America is divided on its new President. Rumbles of Roe Vs Wade and women’s rights from both camps. Amongst all these the characters walk their journeys and confront themselves and question whst is family really? I loved Olivia (Livvie) as a special character in h book. I loved Adam too with his journey from angry raging child forwards.
It’s not a fast paced book, it’s steady, solid and holds you real close. I had a lot of late nights and just on more chapter! If you love character driven novels with imperfect characters this is for you. If you like your own opinions challenged it’s also for you.
It will make for an ideal book club read, lots of room for debates.
I enjoyed this immensely and shedding light on how raising a disabled child and the unique challenges I connected with having an Autistic son with ADHD and a learning disability. He is 23 now and he’s a young man yet so far behind others that my heart breaks. So I wan to say to anybody reading this with a disabled child this it’s not easy and let those that judge and give ridiculous advice (grapefruit juice can cure Autism) stay in their own lane.
What Kate did isn’t a simple thing but who knows how many Kates are out there right now?
An utterly powerful and brilliant novel that packs so much in. Kudos Claire for this exceptional novel. I hope many decide to read this gem. 5 huge stars!
::~~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~~::
Thanks so much for reading my review!
I hope you enjoyed it, if you did I’d be delighted if you leave me a “like” and I love to read your comments. If you’d like to connect you can follow me or please send me a friend request.
You can also find me on Twitter (X) @bookishcats and on Amazon U.K. where I am a Top 500 Reviewer as Booklover Catlady.
If you are an Author or Publisher and you’d like me to consider reading and reviewing your book(s) please just message me.
June 17, 2025
What a ride of emotions I had reading this brilliantly written novel. Claire McGowan was born to write. Her style and delivery is so readable, so relatable and extremely clear. I loved this book so much.
This book is filled with amazing characters that each have their own journey within the plot. Some characters easy to warm to, others you’d like to give a quick slap to. The best bit is that as we follow their lives I found my impressions and opinions of everyone constantly changing. It’s a deep story with an important message.
What if you just don’t feel love for your children? What if you watch all the other mums being naturally maternal and beaming in unconditional love? What if you cannot cope, cannot connect and not only feel an utter heartless bitch for it but you cannot do it anymore? This is Kate. Her wishy~washy husband who can’t make his own decisions and in her view is just well….weak and that’s unattractive. Kate didn’t see this being her lot in life.
Their eldest son Adam is an angry, destructive, rage filled child. Hurting other children and seeming to enjoy it. But Kate’s biggest mum test is her daughter who has been born with such a rare chromosome disorder there is no nam for it. No help, no support groups. Kate and Andrew simply get overwhelmed. A baby who even as a teenager will have the body of an 8 year old, will never speak and still be in nappies. No way of communicating with her.
Kate does the unthinkable and sets wheels in motion for so many lives to alter course. The book explores all the players in the plot so well, defines each one and this is a book where in many scenes you can think who’s would you do? Each choice by any link in the chain jingling the other links. These intertwined lives come to a significant and very hard end that was hard for me to read. I wanted a different ending but can see why Claire took it where she did.
So many world events are happening. COVID hits the world, America is divided on its new President. Rumbles of Roe Vs Wade and women’s rights from both camps. Amongst all these the characters walk their journeys and confront themselves and question whst is family really? I loved Olivia (Livvie) as a special character in h book. I loved Adam too with his journey from angry raging child forwards.
It’s not a fast paced book, it’s steady, solid and holds you real close. I had a lot of late nights and just on more chapter! If you love character driven novels with imperfect characters this is for you. If you like your own opinions challenged it’s also for you.
It will make for an ideal book club read, lots of room for debates.
I enjoyed this immensely and shedding light on how raising a disabled child and the unique challenges I connected with having an Autistic son with ADHD and a learning disability. He is 25 years old now and he’s a brilliant young man yet so far behind others that my heart breaks. So I want to say to anybody reading this with a disabled child this it’s not easy and let those that judge and give ridiculous advice (grapefruit juice can cure Autism) stay in their own lane.
What Kate did isn’t a simple thing but who knows how many Kates are out there right now?
An utterly powerful and brilliant novel that packs so much in. Kudos Claire for this exceptional novel. I hope many decide to read this gem. 5 huge stars!
Many thanks to NetGalley and the Publisher for my advance copy to read and review.
Thanks so much for reading my review of this book. Join me as a friend or follower and feel free to browse my shelves for your next great book! I love to connect with other readers.
This book is filled with amazing characters that each have their own journey within the plot. Some characters easy to warm to, others you’d like to give a quick slap to. The best bit is that as we follow their lives I found my impressions and opinions of everyone constantly changing. It’s a deep story with an important message.
What if you just don’t feel love for your children? What if you watch all the other mums being naturally maternal and beaming in unconditional love? What if you cannot cope, cannot connect and not only feel an utter heartless bitch for it but you cannot do it anymore? This is Kate. Her wishy~washy husband who can’t make his own decisions and in her view is just well….weak and that’s unattractive. Kate didn’t see this being her lot in life.
Their eldest son Adam is an angry, destructive, rage filled child. Hurting other children and seeming to enjoy it. But Kate’s biggest mum test is her daughter who has been born with such a rare chromosome disorder there is no nam for it. No help, no support groups. Kate and Andrew simply get overwhelmed. A baby who even as a teenager will have the body of an 8 year old, will never speak and still be in nappies. No way of communicating with her.
Kate does the unthinkable and sets wheels in motion for so many lives to alter course. The book explores all the players in the plot so well, defines each one and this is a book where in many scenes you can think who’s would you do? Each choice by any link in the chain jingling the other links. These intertwined lives come to a significant and very hard end that was hard for me to read. I wanted a different ending but can see why Claire took it where she did.
So many world events are happening. COVID hits the world, America is divided on its new President. Rumbles of Roe Vs Wade and women’s rights from both camps. Amongst all these the characters walk their journeys and confront themselves and question whst is family really? I loved Olivia (Livvie) as a special character in h book. I loved Adam too with his journey from angry raging child forwards.
It’s not a fast paced book, it’s steady, solid and holds you real close. I had a lot of late nights and just on more chapter! If you love character driven novels with imperfect characters this is for you. If you like your own opinions challenged it’s also for you.
It will make for an ideal book club read, lots of room for debates.
I enjoyed this immensely and shedding light on how raising a disabled child and the unique challenges I connected with having an Autistic son with ADHD and a learning disability. He is 25 years old now and he’s a brilliant young man yet so far behind others that my heart breaks. So I want to say to anybody reading this with a disabled child this it’s not easy and let those that judge and give ridiculous advice (grapefruit juice can cure Autism) stay in their own lane.
What Kate did isn’t a simple thing but who knows how many Kates are out there right now?
An utterly powerful and brilliant novel that packs so much in. Kudos Claire for this exceptional novel. I hope many decide to read this gem. 5 huge stars!
Many thanks to NetGalley and the Publisher for my advance copy to read and review.
Thanks so much for reading my review of this book. Join me as a friend or follower and feel free to browse my shelves for your next great book! I love to connect with other readers.
May 22, 2023
Many thanks to Net Galley and Little Brown Book Group for an ARC of this book in exchange for a review.
This book is personal to the author, it deals so many emotions, different emotions from the different family members.
Having myself been the mum of a child who did not fit into the ‘normal’ box, I found the author dealt with the difficult issues one encounters with grace and empathy.
Kate has just had her 2nd child, a daughter, baby Kirsty has been born with many difficulties, her condition is so rare there is no name for it and Kate is struggling to cope, she feels totally overwhelmed. Kirsty screams continuously, needs 24 hour attention and on top of that her son Adam is an angry, rather demanding child.
I truly understood some of Kate’s emotions, a few times I felt I had turned the clock back and it was I again in the midst of the many problems and on emotional rollercoaster that comes along as the mum of a child with complex needs.
I even understood her need to escape, but was still shocked that she left, abandoned her husband and her two children, the path of so many lives altered by her decision. Her husband Andrew manages to survive with the help of of her friend Olivia. Olivia moves in practically, she is an unpaid housekeeper and provides care for Andrew. and the children It is fifteen years before hear from it see Kate again.
This book is a heart wrenching read, it’s powerful and will speak to those who read not only Kate’s story, but that of those she left behind and how they survived. I wasn’t sure how I wanted it to end, or what I expected to happen.. Kate made her choice, I don’t think we can judge Kate, we are all different. This book will stay with me for some time, an outstanding read.
This book is personal to the author, it deals so many emotions, different emotions from the different family members.
Having myself been the mum of a child who did not fit into the ‘normal’ box, I found the author dealt with the difficult issues one encounters with grace and empathy.
Kate has just had her 2nd child, a daughter, baby Kirsty has been born with many difficulties, her condition is so rare there is no name for it and Kate is struggling to cope, she feels totally overwhelmed. Kirsty screams continuously, needs 24 hour attention and on top of that her son Adam is an angry, rather demanding child.
I truly understood some of Kate’s emotions, a few times I felt I had turned the clock back and it was I again in the midst of the many problems and on emotional rollercoaster that comes along as the mum of a child with complex needs.
I even understood her need to escape, but was still shocked that she left, abandoned her husband and her two children, the path of so many lives altered by her decision. Her husband Andrew manages to survive with the help of of her friend Olivia. Olivia moves in practically, she is an unpaid housekeeper and provides care for Andrew. and the children It is fifteen years before hear from it see Kate again.
This book is a heart wrenching read, it’s powerful and will speak to those who read not only Kate’s story, but that of those she left behind and how they survived. I wasn’t sure how I wanted it to end, or what I expected to happen.. Kate made her choice, I don’t think we can judge Kate, we are all different. This book will stay with me for some time, an outstanding read.
September 20, 2024
Kate’s life is pretty normal. Successful career, good marriage, one son. But everything changes when her second child, a daughter named Kirsty, is born with profound disabilities. She will need round the clock care for her entire life. Kate tries to come to terms with this catastrophic life change but after several years she does the unthinkable. Walks out the door and leaves her family behind.
Her husband, Andrew, is left to pick up the pieces alongside Kate’s old friend, Olivia who becomes part of this fragmented family despite having her own issues. Life goes on until Andrew writes a book about Kirsty and it becomes a success. And somehow, against the odds, Kate and Andrew’s orbits coincide.
Oh this was a tough read. Based on the author’s own experiences on living with her own disabled brother this felt very real and incredibly emotive. These are circumstances that the majority of us have never had to consider, but reading this book opened my eyes like never before. It genuinely hurt my heart; the hopes and dreams of new parents being replaced by a realisation that life has thrown the hardest challenge at you.
As a parent I find it difficult to empathise with any mother that abandons her children, but McGowan writes so well and with such unflinching honesty that I could understand Kate’s decisions. Perhaps not all of them but definitely some.
This is a book I’ll be thinking about for a long time.
Her husband, Andrew, is left to pick up the pieces alongside Kate’s old friend, Olivia who becomes part of this fragmented family despite having her own issues. Life goes on until Andrew writes a book about Kirsty and it becomes a success. And somehow, against the odds, Kate and Andrew’s orbits coincide.
Oh this was a tough read. Based on the author’s own experiences on living with her own disabled brother this felt very real and incredibly emotive. These are circumstances that the majority of us have never had to consider, but reading this book opened my eyes like never before. It genuinely hurt my heart; the hopes and dreams of new parents being replaced by a realisation that life has thrown the hardest challenge at you.
As a parent I find it difficult to empathise with any mother that abandons her children, but McGowan writes so well and with such unflinching honesty that I could understand Kate’s decisions. Perhaps not all of them but definitely some.
This is a book I’ll be thinking about for a long time.
July 27, 2023
I dropped a star as I did not like the ending. Aside from that it was a thought provoking read. As a mum of a disabled non verbal child I understand the pain of caring for a child who may not know who you are and will never be able to call you mum. The author obviously had real life experience of living with a disabled child/adult and it made the story come alive.
January 25, 2024
Will rate after book club on 25th
March 6, 2024
Kate’s life is imploding.
This Could Be Us is an uncomfortable, powerful and affecting story about ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances who behave deplorably badly and bravely heroically in a messy, wonderful, exploration of what it is to try to live your life. At times there’s an almost dystopian feel to the narrative and yet terrifyingly, it is so firmly rooted in our present world.
Initially I wasn’t keen on the the plot structure as Kate’s past is interwoven with her present day timeline and with dated parts relating to Andrew, because I had to concentrate on what was happening when. That was until I realised that the fragmented, disjointed pattern was in fact highly skilled in conveying how Kate feels shattered and broken by Kirsty’s birth and rare disability and how our lives are not simply linear, but ebb and flow with different experiences and emotions that are not always easy to contemplate or deal with. In fact, the structure of This Could Be Us is absolutely right for the story.
The characters are complex, humane and layered. I can see how those with a strong maternal instinct might find Kate’s relationship with her children hard to accept, but I thought she conveyed a raw honesty in her anger and grief that was eminently understandable. Her flaws are huge but she is so intelligently portrayed that she engenders true compassion. Her actions afford redemption as well as sanction so that reading about Kate leads the reader to question their own acceptance of morality.
I found Olivia equally fascinating because her role in Andrew, Kirsty and Adam’s life is almost unsettling. With an awkward relationship with her own daughter because of Olivia’s mental health, she simultaneously has a dynamism and strength that illustrates how we all function on different levels with sometimes conflicting personas depending on our situations. Olivia is stoic, unstable, weak and courageous.
What Claire McGowan does in This Could Be Us is to strip back each individual – even the seemingly impermeable Connor – and lay them raw and vulnerable in front of the reader in a powerful, visceral and emotive way.
The themes of the novel are equally powerful. There’s an exploration of the practicalities of raising a child with profound challenges that is so vivid it made me appreciate my own life all the more. Elements of parenthood, mental health, addiction, insecurity, the need to belong and be appreciated are just some of the aspects to be found here, but above all else there is an exploration of family and how that is a fluid, amorphous definition. I didn’t find This Could Be Us an easy read, and although it’s quite brief it took me a long time because it is so intense, but I found it a compelling and important one.
This Could Be Us is a story that could, in a twist of fate, belong to any one of us and shows to perfection that we should never judge others until we have walked in their shoes. It is a book to make you rage, weep and storm and I found it both searing and unforgettable.
This Could Be Us is an uncomfortable, powerful and affecting story about ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances who behave deplorably badly and bravely heroically in a messy, wonderful, exploration of what it is to try to live your life. At times there’s an almost dystopian feel to the narrative and yet terrifyingly, it is so firmly rooted in our present world.
Initially I wasn’t keen on the the plot structure as Kate’s past is interwoven with her present day timeline and with dated parts relating to Andrew, because I had to concentrate on what was happening when. That was until I realised that the fragmented, disjointed pattern was in fact highly skilled in conveying how Kate feels shattered and broken by Kirsty’s birth and rare disability and how our lives are not simply linear, but ebb and flow with different experiences and emotions that are not always easy to contemplate or deal with. In fact, the structure of This Could Be Us is absolutely right for the story.
The characters are complex, humane and layered. I can see how those with a strong maternal instinct might find Kate’s relationship with her children hard to accept, but I thought she conveyed a raw honesty in her anger and grief that was eminently understandable. Her flaws are huge but she is so intelligently portrayed that she engenders true compassion. Her actions afford redemption as well as sanction so that reading about Kate leads the reader to question their own acceptance of morality.
I found Olivia equally fascinating because her role in Andrew, Kirsty and Adam’s life is almost unsettling. With an awkward relationship with her own daughter because of Olivia’s mental health, she simultaneously has a dynamism and strength that illustrates how we all function on different levels with sometimes conflicting personas depending on our situations. Olivia is stoic, unstable, weak and courageous.
What Claire McGowan does in This Could Be Us is to strip back each individual – even the seemingly impermeable Connor – and lay them raw and vulnerable in front of the reader in a powerful, visceral and emotive way.
The themes of the novel are equally powerful. There’s an exploration of the practicalities of raising a child with profound challenges that is so vivid it made me appreciate my own life all the more. Elements of parenthood, mental health, addiction, insecurity, the need to belong and be appreciated are just some of the aspects to be found here, but above all else there is an exploration of family and how that is a fluid, amorphous definition. I didn’t find This Could Be Us an easy read, and although it’s quite brief it took me a long time because it is so intense, but I found it a compelling and important one.
This Could Be Us is a story that could, in a twist of fate, belong to any one of us and shows to perfection that we should never judge others until we have walked in their shoes. It is a book to make you rage, weep and storm and I found it both searing and unforgettable.
May 17, 2024
I think reading Christos Tsiolkas’ The Slap made me think that you can still enjoy a book despite all the characters being awful. Unfortunately, this is not the case with This Could Be Us, as all the characters are absolutely awful, but without the compelling writing. The ending was ridiculous and the main character Kate was the absolute worst. I hated reading all the things she never considered in her life.
January 21, 2025
A heartwrenching story centering around the events leading up to and after a woman leaves her husband and two kids - one of which has a disability - the shame, the guilt and disparate lives they are living as a result. No excuses, justification or redemption is given, which I suppose illustrates how deeply layered people are and the choices they make. I liked how the story moves through the characters, to and fro-ing between the past and present day. I found the premise compelling and the way the story was told. I probably would have edited it more (!) but other than that, it was a page-turner for me.
June 1, 2023
Thanks to Little Brown and NetGalley for an advance copy. This is a beautiful novel, telling the story of a family dealing with intolerable circumstances. Highly recommended.
August 25, 2024
Overall enjoyed - very layered plot and so sad 😞
November 7, 2024
A tough but powerful read.
June 17, 2025
Poignant
May 19, 2023
I really enjoyed this book! I look forward to reading other books by this author. I would definitely recommend this book!
September 2, 2024
The concept of this book is sonthing I usually love. However, almost all the characters are unlikable and I didn't feel any enjoyment or satisfaction out if any of the ending for them!
September 9, 2024
This novel is very different to the author’s usual psychological thrillers. It deals with a number of difficult themes including leaving your family, infidelity, self harm, caring for a child with learning disability and additional needs. The complex relationships between the cast of characters all of which are “damaged” in some way, unravels as the story progresses. How can you “abandon” your own child but care for another.
At the end I was left thinking about what happened to each of the characters which fits with one of the central themes of the story that there is often little certainty in life.
At the end I was left thinking about what happened to each of the characters which fits with one of the central themes of the story that there is often little certainty in life.
September 30, 2024
A mixture of emotions throughout, a couple of dull chapters but all in all thought it covered topics that aren’t always talked about in a sensitive way
October 3, 2024
Thought provoking and well written, raced through this one!
June 6, 2024
I really don't think that I being myself a young woman with disabilities am the target audience of this book make of that what you will
January 28, 2025
So interesting to read about disability and how it impacts family as not something that I’ve particularly read before. Although the subject matter was tough at times it was still so easy to read and the changing of perspectives kept it pacy.
Thanks for the loan of this one Sam!
Thanks for the loan of this one Sam!
August 1, 2023
This is a brilliant, well written book that looks at the challenges faced of parents of those with disabilities.
June 21, 2023
Trash
May 19, 2023
FROM THE COVER📖
Kate has done the unthinkable. She'd worked hard to build a perfect life for herself, while ignoring her growing unhappiness. But when her second child was born profoundly disabled, reality hit. Unable to cope, Kate left - disappearing without a trace. She ends up in LA, with a glittering career and a new family of sorts, but the guilt is still suffocating. Husband Andrew was left to pick up the pieces and care for their disabled daughter and angry, confused son. Bereft and broken, he leaned on Olivia, Kate's best friend. She's been by his side ever since, ignoring her own needs to meet his. Years later, Andrew has written a memoir about his daughter learning to communicate against all odds. But when Kate's new producer husband decides he wants to make a film of it, their worlds collide once again. Now, Kate must return to the life she abandoned and reckon with what she did. The guilt and the love. The pain and the hope. In other words, family. Following a fractured family over a period of twenty years.
REVIEW⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I have read all of McGowans books, I have a mixed relationship with them I adored the Paula McGuire series but I have found a few of her stand alone novels not very good at all. I enjoyed her last book “Are You Awake” though I found it a bit far fetched and rushed so when I saw this on NetGalley I was very interested to read it especially as it was a move away from her usual genre of writing. Thank you for giving me the chance to read this ARC am super glad to report that this was one of McGowans best.
The book is told from various character POV(Kate, Andrew and Adam) spanning over time, time again and the now, set in London and LA we hear the story of the family. I really liked how the book was laid out, it was well plotted and very much held my interest. It is not a fast paced book it’s steady, giving us little moments that individually might seem insignificant but weave together to make a picture of a life,a story and a very well written character lead novel.
The characters are imperfect, some are not very likeable but they are all relatable written with a honesty that makes them come alive off the page. Every character develops and grows as the pages turn, showing us the network of people who get involved and affected by the decisions made years ago. I like how the author makes us think that life is really a series of decisions we make as we go, one decision leads us this way but the another decision would have lead us in another direction. There is a lot of reflection from all the characters on the what ifs of life. For me this made compelling reading. I really in particular liked Adam as a character, we go in a journey with him from a young boy to a young man, this journey was heartbreaking at times. He also got some of the best one liners in the novel. I really feel the author captured what it is like to be the sibling of a sick child, Adam character felt the most real to me. For me Kate as character is very interesting I feel the writer has written with a honest voice she clearly represents the true picture of being a parent, not just to a disabled or an sick child, the mixture of feelings you can have: the guilt that sometimes your children can be impossible to love, the grief for your not “perfect” child, the loss you can feel for yourself, the anger, the frustration, the joy, the love and all that’s in between. She written well with a raw heartbreaking honesty full of emotion.
You can tell the writer has experienced being part of someone life whom has a disability as she handles the issue with such a delicate nuance. For the main this novel is very different from her previous work and it for me it is for the better, perhaps having such a close personal story of her own helped but this book is by far her best stand alone work.
Like all of the authors works there is a deep political, social message inter-winded in her works in the case of this it’s seamlessly done, drawing a subtle attenuation to big questions and important matters like how we treat the disabled and abortion rights . I always like how she has a powerful stance on the treatment of women within her work and this is no different however I feel within this message is extra powerful. It will make you question your view points and it will make for an ideal book club read, lots of room for debates.
The ending was bit of a let down I personally would have liked a more tidy ending however that being said it matches the tone of the book- the what’s ifs of life- and leaves the reader to make up their own minds
A solid four stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Kate has done the unthinkable. She'd worked hard to build a perfect life for herself, while ignoring her growing unhappiness. But when her second child was born profoundly disabled, reality hit. Unable to cope, Kate left - disappearing without a trace. She ends up in LA, with a glittering career and a new family of sorts, but the guilt is still suffocating. Husband Andrew was left to pick up the pieces and care for their disabled daughter and angry, confused son. Bereft and broken, he leaned on Olivia, Kate's best friend. She's been by his side ever since, ignoring her own needs to meet his. Years later, Andrew has written a memoir about his daughter learning to communicate against all odds. But when Kate's new producer husband decides he wants to make a film of it, their worlds collide once again. Now, Kate must return to the life she abandoned and reckon with what she did. The guilt and the love. The pain and the hope. In other words, family. Following a fractured family over a period of twenty years.
REVIEW⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I have read all of McGowans books, I have a mixed relationship with them I adored the Paula McGuire series but I have found a few of her stand alone novels not very good at all. I enjoyed her last book “Are You Awake” though I found it a bit far fetched and rushed so when I saw this on NetGalley I was very interested to read it especially as it was a move away from her usual genre of writing. Thank you for giving me the chance to read this ARC am super glad to report that this was one of McGowans best.
The book is told from various character POV(Kate, Andrew and Adam) spanning over time, time again and the now, set in London and LA we hear the story of the family. I really liked how the book was laid out, it was well plotted and very much held my interest. It is not a fast paced book it’s steady, giving us little moments that individually might seem insignificant but weave together to make a picture of a life,a story and a very well written character lead novel.
The characters are imperfect, some are not very likeable but they are all relatable written with a honesty that makes them come alive off the page. Every character develops and grows as the pages turn, showing us the network of people who get involved and affected by the decisions made years ago. I like how the author makes us think that life is really a series of decisions we make as we go, one decision leads us this way but the another decision would have lead us in another direction. There is a lot of reflection from all the characters on the what ifs of life. For me this made compelling reading. I really in particular liked Adam as a character, we go in a journey with him from a young boy to a young man, this journey was heartbreaking at times. He also got some of the best one liners in the novel. I really feel the author captured what it is like to be the sibling of a sick child, Adam character felt the most real to me. For me Kate as character is very interesting I feel the writer has written with a honest voice she clearly represents the true picture of being a parent, not just to a disabled or an sick child, the mixture of feelings you can have: the guilt that sometimes your children can be impossible to love, the grief for your not “perfect” child, the loss you can feel for yourself, the anger, the frustration, the joy, the love and all that’s in between. She written well with a raw heartbreaking honesty full of emotion.
You can tell the writer has experienced being part of someone life whom has a disability as she handles the issue with such a delicate nuance. For the main this novel is very different from her previous work and it for me it is for the better, perhaps having such a close personal story of her own helped but this book is by far her best stand alone work.
Like all of the authors works there is a deep political, social message inter-winded in her works in the case of this it’s seamlessly done, drawing a subtle attenuation to big questions and important matters like how we treat the disabled and abortion rights . I always like how she has a powerful stance on the treatment of women within her work and this is no different however I feel within this message is extra powerful. It will make you question your view points and it will make for an ideal book club read, lots of room for debates.
The ending was bit of a let down I personally would have liked a more tidy ending however that being said it matches the tone of the book- the what’s ifs of life- and leaves the reader to make up their own minds
A solid four stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
March 22, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley and Corsair for the advanced copy of this title in return for an honest review.
My mum taught children with physical, mental and learning disabilities for nearly twenty years, and so I was bought up with children that could be seen as 'different' and so disability was never a big thing for me, whereas I am aware it might still be a shock to some. And its true that raising a severely disabled child is difficult, physically and emotionally. It affects every part of your life. Which is why I understand why Kate does what she does in this book. I'm not saying I agree with her walking out on her family, but I wouldn't judge as I understand what it's like to be pushed to, and over, your limits.
Having said that, I didn't like Kate that much as a character. I didn't judge her decision, no, but I felt she was a bit whiney at times, playing the victim too much. The character of Olivia I went to and fro with, but overall I liked her. She puts her own life on hold to keep Kate's afloat. I liked Andrew the most. He got the 'bum deal' so to speak and it was hard for him, but I definitely felt more compassion for him.
There is so much honest there that you can tell Claire has life experience with disability. It shows disability - and parenthood on the whole - to be difficult, ugly, complicated, exhausting. Parents of non-disabled children struggle, let alone those with severely disabled children. It also shows that compassion runs out. Be it for your kin, your friends, your family, and yourself. It's important to remember that you're still human. People often say that you only get what you can cope with. But wat happens if you can't cope? There's no shame in admitting that you can't cope. Okay, so Kate did it in an extreme way, but the bottom line is, you're no weaker if you admit you need help
I liked how the story was played through various viewpoints across several years. Kate leaving the family didn't just affect her: it affected her son Adam (brilliant character creation), her daughter Kirsty, who whilst at first may not understand what's happening, the sudden lack of a parent will obviously affect her, and her friend Olivia, who at times feels a bit of a martyr but equally a bit like a superhero. And by following them through the years, we see how that abandonment has affected them, and still affects them, and their decisions, 15 years later.
I felt the depictions of Kirsty and her disability were good. It could have gone a bit over-the-top, a bit like a caricature of what we think a disabled person looks and acts like. But it felt very real. Maybe because I've grown up around children with disabilities, but that felt spot on for me.
It is a very honest book. A lot of the time we tend to sugar-coat the hardships that come with disability by saying things like, "but I still love her", "she's still my daughter", "people have it worse" etc. And whilst that may be true, it doesn't negate the difficulties. Anyone with experience will know it's not always easy, and it's messy, and this shows all of that in an unapologetic, raw, honest which which I applaud. I don't think I've read that in fiction before.
It really makes you think...if you knew your chid was going to be this affected, would you continue with the pregnancy? Would you still love a child that takes up so much of your life? Could you love them as much as your other children? They're not easy questions to think about, but I think they're going to be amongst the many asked at book clubs, where this book will definitely be a top choice.
There were a few bits I would have liked explored a bit more, or to be developed a bit more, such as the Adam/Delia and Olivia/Delia storylines, as well as the confrontation between Kate and her family, but they weren't major things, and overall I thought it was very well written and a good story.
It's thought-provoking, heart-warming, heart wrenching, uplifting, and emotional. A rollercoaster full of emotions that may even see you shed a tear or two.
This was my first Claire McGowan book, but definitely not my last. If she writes with this much heart in her other books then they're definitely worth a read.
My mum taught children with physical, mental and learning disabilities for nearly twenty years, and so I was bought up with children that could be seen as 'different' and so disability was never a big thing for me, whereas I am aware it might still be a shock to some. And its true that raising a severely disabled child is difficult, physically and emotionally. It affects every part of your life. Which is why I understand why Kate does what she does in this book. I'm not saying I agree with her walking out on her family, but I wouldn't judge as I understand what it's like to be pushed to, and over, your limits.
Having said that, I didn't like Kate that much as a character. I didn't judge her decision, no, but I felt she was a bit whiney at times, playing the victim too much. The character of Olivia I went to and fro with, but overall I liked her. She puts her own life on hold to keep Kate's afloat. I liked Andrew the most. He got the 'bum deal' so to speak and it was hard for him, but I definitely felt more compassion for him.
There is so much honest there that you can tell Claire has life experience with disability. It shows disability - and parenthood on the whole - to be difficult, ugly, complicated, exhausting. Parents of non-disabled children struggle, let alone those with severely disabled children. It also shows that compassion runs out. Be it for your kin, your friends, your family, and yourself. It's important to remember that you're still human. People often say that you only get what you can cope with. But wat happens if you can't cope? There's no shame in admitting that you can't cope. Okay, so Kate did it in an extreme way, but the bottom line is, you're no weaker if you admit you need help
I liked how the story was played through various viewpoints across several years. Kate leaving the family didn't just affect her: it affected her son Adam (brilliant character creation), her daughter Kirsty, who whilst at first may not understand what's happening, the sudden lack of a parent will obviously affect her, and her friend Olivia, who at times feels a bit of a martyr but equally a bit like a superhero. And by following them through the years, we see how that abandonment has affected them, and still affects them, and their decisions, 15 years later.
I felt the depictions of Kirsty and her disability were good. It could have gone a bit over-the-top, a bit like a caricature of what we think a disabled person looks and acts like. But it felt very real. Maybe because I've grown up around children with disabilities, but that felt spot on for me.
It is a very honest book. A lot of the time we tend to sugar-coat the hardships that come with disability by saying things like, "but I still love her", "she's still my daughter", "people have it worse" etc. And whilst that may be true, it doesn't negate the difficulties. Anyone with experience will know it's not always easy, and it's messy, and this shows all of that in an unapologetic, raw, honest which which I applaud. I don't think I've read that in fiction before.
It really makes you think...if you knew your chid was going to be this affected, would you continue with the pregnancy? Would you still love a child that takes up so much of your life? Could you love them as much as your other children? They're not easy questions to think about, but I think they're going to be amongst the many asked at book clubs, where this book will definitely be a top choice.
There were a few bits I would have liked explored a bit more, or to be developed a bit more, such as the Adam/Delia and Olivia/Delia storylines, as well as the confrontation between Kate and her family, but they weren't major things, and overall I thought it was very well written and a good story.
It's thought-provoking, heart-warming, heart wrenching, uplifting, and emotional. A rollercoaster full of emotions that may even see you shed a tear or two.
This was my first Claire McGowan book, but definitely not my last. If she writes with this much heart in her other books then they're definitely worth a read.
July 3, 2023
It is 2002, and it is Kate’s thirtieth birthday, but it is also the last day. On paper, she has it all: a beautiful house, a handsome husband, a career in local television news, a two-year-old son and a second baby due in a month. She is throwing a birthday party for herself, and has invited friends and colleagues to join them at home: her friend Oliva arrives early to help set up the space, incredibly helpful as she always is. As expected from anything Kate does, the party is a great success: guests mingle and laugh, music plays, food and drink is enjoyed – until Kate falls to the floor and her labour begins, a month early. A terrifying whirl of medical experience follows as Kate is rushed to the hospital, resulting in an emergency Cesarean: and then Kate slowly wakes, husband Andrew at her side, and a consultant is uttering the life-changing sentence: “I’m sorry to tell you I have some bad news.”
Kate and Andrew’s daughter Kirsty has been born with an unknown chromosomal disorder, one so rare that it doesn’t even have a name. She will never walk, or talk, or hold herself up, and the whole family’s life changes forever in a heartbeat. The mutated gene has come from Kate’s side: at the consultant’s mention of family history of miscarriage, she suddenly remembers long-forgotten memories of her mother being mysteriously ill, and crying, and not coming home for months. Kate and Andrew’s two-year-old son, Adam, has a 50% chance of carrying this gene, though he can’t be tested until he can give consent. After a heartbreaking, exhausting year of trying to keep her daughter’s small red body alive and handling ‘terrible moments’ – “lunch with friends who’d had a baby born two days after Kirsty, healthy and bright-eyed” – Kirsty asks her friend Olivia for help, and Oliva steps up, becoming another member of the household.
This part of the story is set against the present day, where the novel begins, near its end: Kate is now living in LA in a glamorous architectural home with her film producer husband Conor, and arrives home to challenge him: she has learned that back in the UK her ex-husband Andrew has not only written a smash-hit book about the experience of parenting Kirsty – but Kate’s new husband wants to option it and make a film with the story. As the different chapters reveal more of the family’s tragic past and their re-entwined present, we discover that Oliva seems to now be with Andrew, and that Kate walked out on her family just five years after Kirsty’s birth. Is Andrew’s book and film about to throw Kate to the wolves, just as she’s rebuilt her life? Or would that be a deserved fate for the woman who abandoned her husband, five-year-old son and severely disabled daughter? Or perhaps, is it all a lot more complex and sad than that?
The book actually begins with a heart-felt author’s note, explaining McGowan’s intention: her brother was born with a similarly unknown disorder to Kirsty’s, and writing the book was meant to “shine a light on families like mine, which struggle on with so little support, broken by love and pain.” This is a challenging, unforgettable and stunning novel, which leaves you wondering at the harsh lottery of life and how people can bear to carry such burdens – and still find tiny scraps of purest joy, even when it is in very short supply.
Reviewed in the June issue of Cambridge Edition – thanks to #NetGalley for the ARC
https://online.bright-publishing.com/...
Kate and Andrew’s daughter Kirsty has been born with an unknown chromosomal disorder, one so rare that it doesn’t even have a name. She will never walk, or talk, or hold herself up, and the whole family’s life changes forever in a heartbeat. The mutated gene has come from Kate’s side: at the consultant’s mention of family history of miscarriage, she suddenly remembers long-forgotten memories of her mother being mysteriously ill, and crying, and not coming home for months. Kate and Andrew’s two-year-old son, Adam, has a 50% chance of carrying this gene, though he can’t be tested until he can give consent. After a heartbreaking, exhausting year of trying to keep her daughter’s small red body alive and handling ‘terrible moments’ – “lunch with friends who’d had a baby born two days after Kirsty, healthy and bright-eyed” – Kirsty asks her friend Olivia for help, and Oliva steps up, becoming another member of the household.
This part of the story is set against the present day, where the novel begins, near its end: Kate is now living in LA in a glamorous architectural home with her film producer husband Conor, and arrives home to challenge him: she has learned that back in the UK her ex-husband Andrew has not only written a smash-hit book about the experience of parenting Kirsty – but Kate’s new husband wants to option it and make a film with the story. As the different chapters reveal more of the family’s tragic past and their re-entwined present, we discover that Oliva seems to now be with Andrew, and that Kate walked out on her family just five years after Kirsty’s birth. Is Andrew’s book and film about to throw Kate to the wolves, just as she’s rebuilt her life? Or would that be a deserved fate for the woman who abandoned her husband, five-year-old son and severely disabled daughter? Or perhaps, is it all a lot more complex and sad than that?
The book actually begins with a heart-felt author’s note, explaining McGowan’s intention: her brother was born with a similarly unknown disorder to Kirsty’s, and writing the book was meant to “shine a light on families like mine, which struggle on with so little support, broken by love and pain.” This is a challenging, unforgettable and stunning novel, which leaves you wondering at the harsh lottery of life and how people can bear to carry such burdens – and still find tiny scraps of purest joy, even when it is in very short supply.
Reviewed in the June issue of Cambridge Edition – thanks to #NetGalley for the ARC
https://online.bright-publishing.com/...
January 30, 2025
During the delivery of her second child,Kate(earlier a part time TV cum Radio reporter) learns that her daughter Kirsty was born with a rare chromosomal disorder.It was learnt from the doctors that the disorder was only one of its kind which had no specific name until then.Perhaps by taking a cue from her own family,where her brother was born with a chromosomal disorder and the enormous amount of pain involving with the family ,the writer not only knitted a beautiful story for the reader’s explaining the day to day trauma and struggles of such parents but also sensitising us, as how to be empathetic beyond our normal at times,when we are in a specific situation.Kirsty was born with a rarest chromosomal disorder,making her dependent 24/7 on others for care and watch.She was born devoid of things as that of a normal child and the doctors declared that she cannot talk,walk or speak or grow into a normal adult with any intelligence of her own.The lab reports suggested that the defective gene seems to have been found in Kate and that she and her family with whom such genes are linked,may stand a 50% chance of inheriting the chromosomal defect.So,in the story,the trauma of the parents(Kate and her husband,Andrew)at the lab,hearing about such a nameless disability of their child is quite understandable.Yes, the book,"This could be Us" by Claire Mcgowen can be any of us.The characters mentioned in the book were shown with both virtues and frailties while succumbing and standing up to the pressures of life and sometimes even flip flopping with emotions that makes us instantly getting hooked to the story.We find Kate as a devoted mother, takes care of her children(Adam,her elder son who had temper tantrums)and Kirsty for five long years after her birth ,but when driven to extreme challenges,we find her reaching her saturation point and breaks up. Unable to cope any further,she decides to leave her past and start a new life afresh. She leaves her country, without informing anyone and goes along with Conor Ryan(a writer turned producer with a house in Hollywood,LA)whom she meets at a bar.Similarly ,we find Olivia(work friend of Kate)who could not take care of her own biological daughter (Cordelia/Delia)but does superbly well in taking care of Kate’s children’s , after a request from Kate ,bringing out the impossible change in Kirsty while carefully looking after Adam.She is also instrumental in making Andrew complete his book which otherwise wouldn’t have happened.Andrew inspite of having been helped by Olivia,who stayed in his house for 15 long years while taking care of his children and making him realise his dream of writing a book come true,failed to understand Olivia for her sacrifice and thank her on the day of release of his book,reflecting his insensitivity when in need.but soon he realises his love for her and proposes Olivia to marry him.On the whole a good book to read.The sentences like,”If you can’t go back,you must go forwards.”(P61),”It’s only too late when you’re dead”. (P93),etc .makes the reading more interesting.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 1, 2023
I whizzed through this book in one sitting and loved it. Telling the story of two families one a nuclear 2.4 children and married parents and one a lone parent who’s child does not live with her and how the unexpected early delivery of the second child in Kate and Andrew’s family throws Olivia into their lives. Atoning for her abandonment of her daughter Delia, Olivia becomes somewhat of an unpaid nanny to Adam and Kirsty who is born with a genetic condition so rare that it has no name.
This novel explores not just the theme of disability and how a disabled child being born can affect a family. It looks with laser focus at all aspects of relationships, romantic, familial, on what makes a family and how intergenerational trauma and mental illness affect more than just the person suffering.
To Adam Olivia is a good mother, loving and constant. To Delia she is the woman who abandoned her. To Adam Kate is no mother at all, the woman who betrayed him at age 7 but to Trixie she is the first parental figure to put her first and to care deeply for her and not just themselves.
It would be so easy to judge Kate and many readers will though fewer I suspect will judge Olivia as harshly. The narrative we are raised with is that women don’t leave their children. A patriarchal stance that demonises women for doing the very thing that thousands of men do every week.
Though I think I understand Kate’s motivations, all external rather than intrinsic I didn’t warm to her as a person but the joy of a well written novel is that you don’t have to like all the characters, you just have to believe that they are real people and Kate is definitely that. Equally, though I liked Olivia more I did find her passivity enraging at times and I could see why it was so easy for Adam to treat her as badly as he often did. And Andrew, on one hand a great father who stepped up when he was suddenly alone with his children but also we weak man who would probably not have gone the distance had Olivia not been there.
I wish we had seen more of Kirsty, after all the blurb makes it sound as if she is the central character. I found instead that while her being born with a rare disorder was a catalyst for what happened 5 years later, we never really got to know her. The pages where she makes the sign for horse brought a lump to my throat and I’d love to have seen the journey to Makaton ‘speech’ either as it happened or by using excerpts from Andrews book.
But that doesn’t change me giving this book a very well deserved 4.5 ⭐️
This novel explores not just the theme of disability and how a disabled child being born can affect a family. It looks with laser focus at all aspects of relationships, romantic, familial, on what makes a family and how intergenerational trauma and mental illness affect more than just the person suffering.
To Adam Olivia is a good mother, loving and constant. To Delia she is the woman who abandoned her. To Adam Kate is no mother at all, the woman who betrayed him at age 7 but to Trixie she is the first parental figure to put her first and to care deeply for her and not just themselves.
It would be so easy to judge Kate and many readers will though fewer I suspect will judge Olivia as harshly. The narrative we are raised with is that women don’t leave their children. A patriarchal stance that demonises women for doing the very thing that thousands of men do every week.
Though I think I understand Kate’s motivations, all external rather than intrinsic I didn’t warm to her as a person but the joy of a well written novel is that you don’t have to like all the characters, you just have to believe that they are real people and Kate is definitely that. Equally, though I liked Olivia more I did find her passivity enraging at times and I could see why it was so easy for Adam to treat her as badly as he often did. And Andrew, on one hand a great father who stepped up when he was suddenly alone with his children but also we weak man who would probably not have gone the distance had Olivia not been there.
I wish we had seen more of Kirsty, after all the blurb makes it sound as if she is the central character. I found instead that while her being born with a rare disorder was a catalyst for what happened 5 years later, we never really got to know her. The pages where she makes the sign for horse brought a lump to my throat and I’d love to have seen the journey to Makaton ‘speech’ either as it happened or by using excerpts from Andrews book.
But that doesn’t change me giving this book a very well deserved 4.5 ⭐️
May 1, 2023
"In years to come, when she recognised this party as the last day of her old life, Kate would play a game with herself, trying to count the people who'd been there."
This is a searingly evocative and personal novel about a what family truly means. Now, to quickly preface this the author has addressed that she has loved ones with profound disabilities and this story is an exploration into how people misunderstand and mistreat them, and the complicated way disabled people fit into a world not designed for them. As a disabled person myself, I found this story to deal with some painfully difficult subjects but with tenderness and grace, and I understood the difficulties some people may encounter by loving me, or Kirsty. It was nuanced and delicate, but it definitely hit hard.
Kate was a conflicting and complicated main character — I hated her for abandoning her entire family because she didn’t want to deal with her daughter, but at the same time I deeply felt every emotion she did as she started to realise the magnitude of what she’d done and the guilt and regret started to creep in. There was a strange, unwelcome empathy for her as we look back and see maybe it’s not so simple. And Andrew resonated deeply with me, someone angry and frustrated who didn’t make good choices but under it all who just wanted to love their child and for the world to see them for themselves, not their disability. Every other character who finds their life changed by Kirsty in different ways, each of them have their own story, their own trajectory that is unfolding.
The story spans two decades, and moves slowly through the years — giving us little moments that individually might seem insignificant but weave together to make a picture of a life, a family. Weaving between their lives before and after, their new and old lives we see what’s changed — and what’s stayed the same. Every person develops and grows as the pages turn, showing us the network of people who get involved and affected by the decisions made years ago.
An extraordinary moving and sweeping story that has the ability to break your heart and build it back piece by piece.
This is a searingly evocative and personal novel about a what family truly means. Now, to quickly preface this the author has addressed that she has loved ones with profound disabilities and this story is an exploration into how people misunderstand and mistreat them, and the complicated way disabled people fit into a world not designed for them. As a disabled person myself, I found this story to deal with some painfully difficult subjects but with tenderness and grace, and I understood the difficulties some people may encounter by loving me, or Kirsty. It was nuanced and delicate, but it definitely hit hard.
Kate was a conflicting and complicated main character — I hated her for abandoning her entire family because she didn’t want to deal with her daughter, but at the same time I deeply felt every emotion she did as she started to realise the magnitude of what she’d done and the guilt and regret started to creep in. There was a strange, unwelcome empathy for her as we look back and see maybe it’s not so simple. And Andrew resonated deeply with me, someone angry and frustrated who didn’t make good choices but under it all who just wanted to love their child and for the world to see them for themselves, not their disability. Every other character who finds their life changed by Kirsty in different ways, each of them have their own story, their own trajectory that is unfolding.
The story spans two decades, and moves slowly through the years — giving us little moments that individually might seem insignificant but weave together to make a picture of a life, a family. Weaving between their lives before and after, their new and old lives we see what’s changed — and what’s stayed the same. Every person develops and grows as the pages turn, showing us the network of people who get involved and affected by the decisions made years ago.
An extraordinary moving and sweeping story that has the ability to break your heart and build it back piece by piece.
March 18, 2023
‘This Could Be Us’ tells the story of Andrew and Kate and what happens after their second child, Kirsty, is born with a disability so rare that it doesn’t even have a name. All they know is that she will never go through the usual developmental stages of childhood; in fact, she will never be more than a helpless baby in a gradually ageing body.
As Claire McGowan shows us, this is tough on any number of levels. Kate is so sad, so angry, and so cross with everyone. Bravely, McGowan does not make her a likeable character; she resents her husband’s daily escape to the world of work (and why shouldn’t she?), she relies too much on the good nature of her friend, Olivia, and she finds it difficult to show warmth to her children. Eventually, it’s all too much for her and she leaves.
However, whilst most readers will not necessarily like Kate, McGowan makes it very difficult for us to judge her. The author’s depiction of her left-behind son, Adam, is wholly believable and reminds us that he suffers just as much as his parents in his own way. And yet there is never any doubt that he and his father love Kirsty. McGowan shows us carefully and respectfully that caring for someone profoundly disabled is repetitive, messy and exhausting, and that, for some, the pit of compassion is not bottomless. Perhaps her nuanced, sensitive portrayal comes, in part, from knowing something of this life. In the Acknowledgements she thanks her family for permission to write about this subject, stating that, ‘…the feelings contained within are certainly inspired by real events.’
There are moments when coincidences needed for plot development are a little too neat and, to my mind, the character of Olivia is not entirely credible, whilst that of her daughter is under-developed. However, all in all, this was a moving and thought-provoking read, made all the stronger in the final stages of the novel through its lack of certainties.
My thanks to NetGalley and Little Brown Book Group UK for a copy of this book in exchange for a fair review.
As Claire McGowan shows us, this is tough on any number of levels. Kate is so sad, so angry, and so cross with everyone. Bravely, McGowan does not make her a likeable character; she resents her husband’s daily escape to the world of work (and why shouldn’t she?), she relies too much on the good nature of her friend, Olivia, and she finds it difficult to show warmth to her children. Eventually, it’s all too much for her and she leaves.
However, whilst most readers will not necessarily like Kate, McGowan makes it very difficult for us to judge her. The author’s depiction of her left-behind son, Adam, is wholly believable and reminds us that he suffers just as much as his parents in his own way. And yet there is never any doubt that he and his father love Kirsty. McGowan shows us carefully and respectfully that caring for someone profoundly disabled is repetitive, messy and exhausting, and that, for some, the pit of compassion is not bottomless. Perhaps her nuanced, sensitive portrayal comes, in part, from knowing something of this life. In the Acknowledgements she thanks her family for permission to write about this subject, stating that, ‘…the feelings contained within are certainly inspired by real events.’
There are moments when coincidences needed for plot development are a little too neat and, to my mind, the character of Olivia is not entirely credible, whilst that of her daughter is under-developed. However, all in all, this was a moving and thought-provoking read, made all the stronger in the final stages of the novel through its lack of certainties.
My thanks to NetGalley and Little Brown Book Group UK for a copy of this book in exchange for a fair review.
October 19, 2025
This book uncovered many social taboos. There are multiple instances of parental neglect in the book. The most obvious is Kate fleeing London for a new life in LA, leaving her husband and children behind and seemingly never looking back. Similarly, Olivia who seems in no way to lack a mothering instinct but leaves her own daughter Delia with her parents in favour of raising Kate’s. Olivia’s bi-polar episodes seem triggered by the pressure of raising her own daughter and yet she commits for 15 years to co-parenting Kate’s including Kirsty who has fragile health and a very challenging disability. By the same token Kate seems more able and equipped to love her new partner Connor’s troubled teenage daughter Trixie than her own abandoned son and daughter. The plot is a constant commentary on the atypical and patchwork nature of family, that has more to do with nurture than nature. Post-natal depression is increasingly discussed but I have never read about the challenges of motherhood to this level. Kate seems to break every social convention in feeling unable to love her children. Whilst enlightening, it makes for quite a jarring and uncomfortable read.
I have also read very little representation of disability within literature and it was a refreshing theme for me to read about the experience of coping with a disabled family member especially through the pandemic. I’m always partial to a rotating point-of-view within storytelling. While this book had no chapters as such, it is structured by sub-headings of each protagonist so you know whose viewpoint you’re about the experience, this made for a very fluid and free flowing reading experience.
I have also read very little representation of disability within literature and it was a refreshing theme for me to read about the experience of coping with a disabled family member especially through the pandemic. I’m always partial to a rotating point-of-view within storytelling. While this book had no chapters as such, it is structured by sub-headings of each protagonist so you know whose viewpoint you’re about the experience, this made for a very fluid and free flowing reading experience.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 90 reviews