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The Art of Confession: Renewing Yourself Through the Practice of Honesty
Paul Wilkes has written an elegant, prescriptive, secular book—a spiritual gem—that reinvents the power of confession for a contemporary audience. Confession is the foundation of religion, the essence of mental health. It is listening to the voice within to follow the path to honest and conscious living. And for thousands of years people have used the power of confession to find their best selves.
Liberating confession from the confessional, The Art of Confession draws on traditions as old as ancient Greece and as modern as psychoanalysis as diverse as Judaism, Catholicism, and Islam, to show readers how to incorporate a confessional practice into their daily lives. There are visualizations, spiritual exercises, prompts, and meditations; private confessions, direct confessions, psychological confessions.
Accompanied throughout by a wise “confessional chorus”—a rabbi, a priest, a psychiatrist, a nun, whose points-of-view complement and augment the text— The Art of Confession is an antidote to our age of oversharing, where we happily broadcast the minutest details of our lives in public, yet never find the time to discover the risk, relief, and ultimately the renewal that real, considered self-reflection offers.
Liberating confession from the confessional, The Art of Confession draws on traditions as old as ancient Greece and as modern as psychoanalysis as diverse as Judaism, Catholicism, and Islam, to show readers how to incorporate a confessional practice into their daily lives. There are visualizations, spiritual exercises, prompts, and meditations; private confessions, direct confessions, psychological confessions.
Accompanied throughout by a wise “confessional chorus”—a rabbi, a priest, a psychiatrist, a nun, whose points-of-view complement and augment the text— The Art of Confession is an antidote to our age of oversharing, where we happily broadcast the minutest details of our lives in public, yet never find the time to discover the risk, relief, and ultimately the renewal that real, considered self-reflection offers.
- GenresNonfiction
144 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2012
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April 20, 2012
A great book. Quick to read, but with a lot to think about.
Last January, I was a bit put out to discover that one of my instructors had placed her book order through a small local bookstore, rather than using the bookstore on campus. I had to find it, go out of my way, take a side-trip. And Lord KNOWS, I am way to busy for that kind of thing, right? Well, I was wrong. That was one of the best inconveniences I have ever been privileged to have foisted upon me.
First, one of the books I needed wasn't in, but it was due on the truck that afternoon. But I had stuff to do, and couldn't afford to waste time waiting. But I could just do my computer work....except that I hadn't brought my computer with me that day. So, the owner lent me hers. Luckily, I had the files I needed on a thumb drive in my pocket. And they offered me tea and a cupcake, too. If you ever have an hour or so to spend in Wilmington, I heartily recommend you spend a few minutes at Pomegranate Books. Tell them that crazy lady sent you, the one who camped in their shop for several hours last January.
Secondly, this book store is not a maze. They are small, but they stock some very cool books by small publishers. And I, errr, picked up a few things, aside from my textbooks, and one of those things was a book by Paul Wilkes, called The Art of Confession: Renewing Yourself Through the Practice of Honesty. Come to find out, he's a local author, and when I finally opened the book this morning, I discovered that I am the proud owner of an inscribed first edition. Yes, I did say this morning, and I am already writing a review. It's a small book, just 133 pages, but this book packs a 400 page wallop.
Wilkes isn't preachy, but he has some very pertinent things to say about how we deal with ourselves and others, not only with our mouths, but also in our deeds and in our motivations. I will tell you up-front that he is a Catholic, but he is very clear in the book that he is talking about confession and not Confession.
I enjoyed the whole book, which starts with history, becomes philosophy and ends in practicality. But there were two main things that really resonate with me. The first was the section on guilt, and how we allow ourselves to become so weighted down with it that we have a hard time accepting love and grace. We are cruel to ourselves, because we allow guilt to control and dominate us, instead of using it as a tool to motivate change in our lives. Secondly, he gives some very practical tips on how we can practice more honest living by building moments of reflection into our lives. I've marked that whole section to read through and put into practice, by I was most struck by the ideas of the Metta Bhavana and An Adult Examination of Conscience.
Metta Bhavana is the cultivation of an attitude of lovingkindness toward everyone and everything. And not in a haphazard, whatever kind of way, but by calling specific individuals (ourselves, someone we treasure, a neutral person, someone we dislike, the universe) one at a time, and thinking of their safety, health, peace and welfare. If you've known me long at all, you know there have been some very unpleasant things in my life, things that hurt and anger me every time I think about them. Things that still make me feel cheated, make me feel less, make me feel an irrational and unjustified guilt. I'm thinking it's going to be hard to feel all that negative stuff and also lovingkindness. And I am thinking all that negative stuff is a weight I just don't need, and it's time to move on to other, better stuff.
The Adult Examination of Conscience has us reflect on daily life, work, desires, inner life, physical well-being, loving, personal integrity, relationships, spiritual life, nature, and money/possessions. You don't do this all at once, of course, who has time for that? The idea is to pick one area and really think deeply on it, and determine if your attitudes and actions need changing.
I really, really recommend this book. I wish I had about a dozen copies to give away. I don't. I have ONE, and it's going on my shelf of "read some daily" books. But find a copy, and read it. It took me less than 5 and a half hours, and that included a break to drive home, a conversation with a friend AND a nap. It's a rather small investment of time for a book that could LITERALLY change the way you view yourself, your fellow humans and the world you walk in. In a day when many self-help books offer a faux window into the soul, this one has some very valid things to say about living in a mindful, self-examined way.
Last January, I was a bit put out to discover that one of my instructors had placed her book order through a small local bookstore, rather than using the bookstore on campus. I had to find it, go out of my way, take a side-trip. And Lord KNOWS, I am way to busy for that kind of thing, right? Well, I was wrong. That was one of the best inconveniences I have ever been privileged to have foisted upon me.
First, one of the books I needed wasn't in, but it was due on the truck that afternoon. But I had stuff to do, and couldn't afford to waste time waiting. But I could just do my computer work....except that I hadn't brought my computer with me that day. So, the owner lent me hers. Luckily, I had the files I needed on a thumb drive in my pocket. And they offered me tea and a cupcake, too. If you ever have an hour or so to spend in Wilmington, I heartily recommend you spend a few minutes at Pomegranate Books. Tell them that crazy lady sent you, the one who camped in their shop for several hours last January.
Secondly, this book store is not a maze. They are small, but they stock some very cool books by small publishers. And I, errr, picked up a few things, aside from my textbooks, and one of those things was a book by Paul Wilkes, called The Art of Confession: Renewing Yourself Through the Practice of Honesty. Come to find out, he's a local author, and when I finally opened the book this morning, I discovered that I am the proud owner of an inscribed first edition. Yes, I did say this morning, and I am already writing a review. It's a small book, just 133 pages, but this book packs a 400 page wallop.
Wilkes isn't preachy, but he has some very pertinent things to say about how we deal with ourselves and others, not only with our mouths, but also in our deeds and in our motivations. I will tell you up-front that he is a Catholic, but he is very clear in the book that he is talking about confession and not Confession.
I enjoyed the whole book, which starts with history, becomes philosophy and ends in practicality. But there were two main things that really resonate with me. The first was the section on guilt, and how we allow ourselves to become so weighted down with it that we have a hard time accepting love and grace. We are cruel to ourselves, because we allow guilt to control and dominate us, instead of using it as a tool to motivate change in our lives. Secondly, he gives some very practical tips on how we can practice more honest living by building moments of reflection into our lives. I've marked that whole section to read through and put into practice, by I was most struck by the ideas of the Metta Bhavana and An Adult Examination of Conscience.
Metta Bhavana is the cultivation of an attitude of lovingkindness toward everyone and everything. And not in a haphazard, whatever kind of way, but by calling specific individuals (ourselves, someone we treasure, a neutral person, someone we dislike, the universe) one at a time, and thinking of their safety, health, peace and welfare. If you've known me long at all, you know there have been some very unpleasant things in my life, things that hurt and anger me every time I think about them. Things that still make me feel cheated, make me feel less, make me feel an irrational and unjustified guilt. I'm thinking it's going to be hard to feel all that negative stuff and also lovingkindness. And I am thinking all that negative stuff is a weight I just don't need, and it's time to move on to other, better stuff.
The Adult Examination of Conscience has us reflect on daily life, work, desires, inner life, physical well-being, loving, personal integrity, relationships, spiritual life, nature, and money/possessions. You don't do this all at once, of course, who has time for that? The idea is to pick one area and really think deeply on it, and determine if your attitudes and actions need changing.
I really, really recommend this book. I wish I had about a dozen copies to give away. I don't. I have ONE, and it's going on my shelf of "read some daily" books. But find a copy, and read it. It took me less than 5 and a half hours, and that included a break to drive home, a conversation with a friend AND a nap. It's a rather small investment of time for a book that could LITERALLY change the way you view yourself, your fellow humans and the world you walk in. In a day when many self-help books offer a faux window into the soul, this one has some very valid things to say about living in a mindful, self-examined way.
January 7, 2018
I thought it was pretty fitting that I ended 2017 and started 2018 with this book, as it helped me reflect on the previous year and how I could change for the better for the upcoming year. A large part of my resolutions every year involves becoming a better person, and I think this book is great tool to achieve that. It's a mere 133 pages, but every page packs a punch, full of insights to mull over.
The basic premise of this book is how confession betters your life, and the author, in my opinion, does a great job pulling from religious and historical sources to explain the idea of confession and how it can be practically mplemented in your life, whether you're a religious person or not. The word, "confession", may have a different connotation for different readers, but Wilkes argues if you think of confession as more of transparency, vulnerability, and honesty you'll be able to utilize the art of confession to live a better life, cultivate better relationships, and really, overall, have a better of quality of life... just the things I'd like to have!
A takeaway I received from the book was the idea of "happy guilt", which hinges on the idea that while we need to take responsibility for our actions, we have to forgive ourselves and allow ourself to move forward. A great quote from Paul Tillich speaks to this as being "struck by grace":
"We cannot transform our lives, unless we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of grace... [I]t does not happen if we try to force it upon ourselves, just as it shall not happen so long as we think, in our self-complacency, that we have no need of it. Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a shaft of life breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying, "You are accepted You are accepted." ... Do not try to do anything now... [D]o not perform anything; do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted. If that happens to us, we experience graces... But sometimes it happens that we receive the power to say "yes" to ourselves, that peace enters into us and makes us whole, that self-hatred and self-contempt disappear, and that our self is reunited with itself. I wish you that grace. that you might be reunited with yourself."
I'd recommend this book to anyone wanting to do some soul-searching or seeking freedom from stress or anxiety in their life.
* This review was written in partnership with Workman Publishing, who generously provided me with The Art of Confession. This is my honest, unbiased review.
The basic premise of this book is how confession betters your life, and the author, in my opinion, does a great job pulling from religious and historical sources to explain the idea of confession and how it can be practically mplemented in your life, whether you're a religious person or not. The word, "confession", may have a different connotation for different readers, but Wilkes argues if you think of confession as more of transparency, vulnerability, and honesty you'll be able to utilize the art of confession to live a better life, cultivate better relationships, and really, overall, have a better of quality of life... just the things I'd like to have!
A takeaway I received from the book was the idea of "happy guilt", which hinges on the idea that while we need to take responsibility for our actions, we have to forgive ourselves and allow ourself to move forward. A great quote from Paul Tillich speaks to this as being "struck by grace":
"We cannot transform our lives, unless we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of grace... [I]t does not happen if we try to force it upon ourselves, just as it shall not happen so long as we think, in our self-complacency, that we have no need of it. Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a shaft of life breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying, "You are accepted You are accepted." ... Do not try to do anything now... [D]o not perform anything; do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted. If that happens to us, we experience graces... But sometimes it happens that we receive the power to say "yes" to ourselves, that peace enters into us and makes us whole, that self-hatred and self-contempt disappear, and that our self is reunited with itself. I wish you that grace. that you might be reunited with yourself."
I'd recommend this book to anyone wanting to do some soul-searching or seeking freedom from stress or anxiety in their life.
* This review was written in partnership with Workman Publishing, who generously provided me with The Art of Confession. This is my honest, unbiased review.
August 4, 2021
I don’t mind reading spiritual books, but he is way too one sided. Christians also didn’t invent the word agape, they expanded it.
February 1, 2012
MY CONFESSION: I like Paul Wilkes' small but meaty book, THE ART OF CONFESSION.
I heard him speak on 1/26/12. That's what prompted me to buy the book (plus copies for three others I thought would appreciate them). I CONFESS I enjoyed his speech slightly more than I enjoyed his book, but I found both of them powerful and well worth the time and money I devoted to them.
In his speech, he seemed to go to greater lengths to be ecumenical or even inter-faith (honoring paths to honesty and to God beyond his own Catholic/Christian path.) The book, on the other hand, had more of a Catholic tone -- with more emphasis on guilt or shame and sin than his remarks in person contained. I tend to be more of an "honor all paths" person, so I preferred that tone.
THE ART OF CONFESSION struck me as part history, part philosophy and part practice -- a nice balance of the three. Apparently, informed by his Catholic roots but not constrained by them, Wilkes "redefines confession as a secular, daily practice of self-examination that can enrich our inner selves." I agree that intentional daily insistence on honesty with oneself and with others opens tremendous avenues to a better life, both for the "confessor" and for his/her community.
Wilkes provides several techniques to help unearth and foster that desired inner honesty. I especially liked techniques #3. Praying Backward Through the Day and #6. Metta Bhavana: The Cultivation of Lovingkindness. In #6, the practitioner offers lovingkindness first to him/herself, then to a benefactor or friend, then to a "neutral" person, then to someone he or she "dislikes," then, finally, to the entire universe, thereby bringing lovingkindness into his/her day and, by extention, into the world.
Wilkes describes it as a "simple" Buddist meditation one can practice "anytime, anywhere." He's right. Unfortunately, I chose to practice it on a crowded mid-day subway in Chicago, already cutting it close to make a lunch appointment. I was SO engrossed in imagining lovingkindness for the "someone" I "dislike," I missed my stop and had to backtrack! Perhaps providentially, a train going in the RIGHT direction just "happened" to be standing open at the next stop [a rare and welcome occurrance], as if rewarding me instantly for my uncharacteristically kind and loving thoughts toward that "someone." I made it to lunch only two minutes late and chuckled for the rest of the day over the lesson I had learned, namely, the Universe gives back what I put in.
I recommend Wilkes' book and will seek out his other writing in the New Yorker, the Atlantic and The New York Times Magazine. If you have a chance to hear him speak, even better. He's conversational, very funny and self deprecating in person, qualities that don't come through quite as obviously in writing.
I heard him speak on 1/26/12. That's what prompted me to buy the book (plus copies for three others I thought would appreciate them). I CONFESS I enjoyed his speech slightly more than I enjoyed his book, but I found both of them powerful and well worth the time and money I devoted to them.
In his speech, he seemed to go to greater lengths to be ecumenical or even inter-faith (honoring paths to honesty and to God beyond his own Catholic/Christian path.) The book, on the other hand, had more of a Catholic tone -- with more emphasis on guilt or shame and sin than his remarks in person contained. I tend to be more of an "honor all paths" person, so I preferred that tone.
THE ART OF CONFESSION struck me as part history, part philosophy and part practice -- a nice balance of the three. Apparently, informed by his Catholic roots but not constrained by them, Wilkes "redefines confession as a secular, daily practice of self-examination that can enrich our inner selves." I agree that intentional daily insistence on honesty with oneself and with others opens tremendous avenues to a better life, both for the "confessor" and for his/her community.
Wilkes provides several techniques to help unearth and foster that desired inner honesty. I especially liked techniques #3. Praying Backward Through the Day and #6. Metta Bhavana: The Cultivation of Lovingkindness. In #6, the practitioner offers lovingkindness first to him/herself, then to a benefactor or friend, then to a "neutral" person, then to someone he or she "dislikes," then, finally, to the entire universe, thereby bringing lovingkindness into his/her day and, by extention, into the world.
Wilkes describes it as a "simple" Buddist meditation one can practice "anytime, anywhere." He's right. Unfortunately, I chose to practice it on a crowded mid-day subway in Chicago, already cutting it close to make a lunch appointment. I was SO engrossed in imagining lovingkindness for the "someone" I "dislike," I missed my stop and had to backtrack! Perhaps providentially, a train going in the RIGHT direction just "happened" to be standing open at the next stop [a rare and welcome occurrance], as if rewarding me instantly for my uncharacteristically kind and loving thoughts toward that "someone." I made it to lunch only two minutes late and chuckled for the rest of the day over the lesson I had learned, namely, the Universe gives back what I put in.
I recommend Wilkes' book and will seek out his other writing in the New Yorker, the Atlantic and The New York Times Magazine. If you have a chance to hear him speak, even better. He's conversational, very funny and self deprecating in person, qualities that don't come through quite as obviously in writing.
March 2, 2012
The Art of Confession: Renewing Yourself Through the Practice of Honesty by Paul Wilkes. This book was provided to me free-of-charge by GoodReads, FirstReads.
This is a short (133 pages) book that packs a big punch! It gives interesting cultural history of the spiritual practice of confession. There is a lot of information on how to do it and when it's necessary to confess, so this book could end up as a reference book to keep on my bookshelf. It also stresses the benefits of confession no matter if you are religious or not.
There are excerpts throughout the book from a rabbi, a priest, a nun and a psychiatrist. They all stress the importance of being honest, not only to others, but to yourself. Sometimes we all need to forget about something in our past, in other words, to put it behind us; this book will help us to face a renewed future.
This is a short (133 pages) book that packs a big punch! It gives interesting cultural history of the spiritual practice of confession. There is a lot of information on how to do it and when it's necessary to confess, so this book could end up as a reference book to keep on my bookshelf. It also stresses the benefits of confession no matter if you are religious or not.
There are excerpts throughout the book from a rabbi, a priest, a nun and a psychiatrist. They all stress the importance of being honest, not only to others, but to yourself. Sometimes we all need to forget about something in our past, in other words, to put it behind us; this book will help us to face a renewed future.
February 6, 2012
full disclosure: free review copy received via goodreads.
Wilkes's historical background about confession in variouscultures is quite interesting. But Wilkes quickly moves from being informative to being pragmatic. It's the perfect must-read or gift for people of any religion (or no religion) whose guilt (from real or perceived events) drives them or limits them. No preaching. No pressure. Simple, realistic and accessible ways for anyone to reach deep within one's self and feel more in control of one's life and ready to face the future with renewed confidence. It can make the strong stronger and give hope and strength to those feeling inadequate. A potentially tremendous impact packed into 133 small, very readable pages.
Wilkes's historical background about confession in variouscultures is quite interesting. But Wilkes quickly moves from being informative to being pragmatic. It's the perfect must-read or gift for people of any religion (or no religion) whose guilt (from real or perceived events) drives them or limits them. No preaching. No pressure. Simple, realistic and accessible ways for anyone to reach deep within one's self and feel more in control of one's life and ready to face the future with renewed confidence. It can make the strong stronger and give hope and strength to those feeling inadequate. A potentially tremendous impact packed into 133 small, very readable pages.
January 6, 2012
This book surprised me. I expected something heavy or trite. Instead, I found it refreshing and thoughtful and very useful. It is well-written and the honesty of the author is so enjoyable. He puts forth a history of confession and offers ways to be happier and to live better through being honest with ones self. I look forward to pondering further the insights offered and am confident I can find greater happiness and peace in my life through introspection and thoughtful living. I believe I can be a better person for having read this book, so far as I am willing to apply these principles to my life.
This book was provided to me free-of-charge by GoodReads, FirstReads.
This book was provided to me free-of-charge by GoodReads, FirstReads.
October 31, 2011
”Confession is good for the soul’ is more than just a cliché, it’s true. Using helpful and practical prose, Paul Wilkes’ newest book shows us exactly how confession is good for us -- body and soul. It leads us to our better selves in powerful and healing ways. I’m keeping Paul’s book close at hand. I really enjoyed reading it and found it interesting and helpful.
I highly recommend that you get a copy The Art of Confession when it hits the bookstores in January...
I highly recommend that you get a copy The Art of Confession when it hits the bookstores in January...
January 20, 2012
This book was insightful and got right to the point. Confession is good for the soul. I think alot of people could benefit from the simple lesson of honesty. This was a free book I won off Goodreads, I know a few people that I would get this for as a gift though. I think that if we all took a little time with self examination and honesty we might notice some pretty big changes in the world around us or just our own attitudes towards the world at large.
February 17, 2012
It grabbed me right from the introduction. It speaks volumes of what is wrong with people today, why there is so much conflict in the world. It helps me to understand people better but at the same time, it's depressing because it makes you realize how many people are so dishonest with themselves. I will definitely use the helpful tips in this book to help myself become a better person by living the most honest life I can lead.
September 29, 2012
We live in an age of easy confessions - think Post Secret, political scandal apologies, or most any reality show on Bravo.
At the same time, we are a culture that deeply needs a means to examine our hearts and unburden our souls. Not just so we can feel better, but so we can live better. Confession can be that means; that is why I picked up this book by my Unversity of North Carolina at Wilmington colleague Paul Wilkes.
At the same time, we are a culture that deeply needs a means to examine our hearts and unburden our souls. Not just so we can feel better, but so we can live better. Confession can be that means; that is why I picked up this book by my Unversity of North Carolina at Wilmington colleague Paul Wilkes.
July 3, 2012
This book was briefly inspiring, and I would like to read more from this author, but it was somehow so short... it felt like a really good essay that had been fluffed up into an okay book. Some practical advice that I will use, and worth the couple of hours that it took to read, but not hugely recommendable...
February 12, 2013
This was a good and quick read. A great beginning and ending with a so-so middle part (I'm not sure we needed to know the [speculative] "history" of confession from the time of the caveman on!). I understand the importance and meaning of confession better now and am trying to practice and follow the author's advice.
A very good read for Lent.
A very good read for Lent.
April 4, 2013
An interesting spiritual look at how confession affects the human body and soul. Wilkes provides a few examples of how confession affects the emotional and social condition of each of us and provides some possible steps for introspection and resolution of guilt, pain, and frustration that we experience by hoarding up our past 'sins.'
January 6, 2012
I won this book in a goodreads giveaway.
I was attracted to this book because of the main idea of practicing honesty and self-reflection without focusing on a specific religion. However, I found the book difficult to read (failed to hold my attention and often wandered), though it was short.
I was attracted to this book because of the main idea of practicing honesty and self-reflection without focusing on a specific religion. However, I found the book difficult to read (failed to hold my attention and often wandered), though it was short.
February 19, 2016
So I'm not a Catholic but I'm a Christian. I believe that this book applies to everyone from all walks of life. It is therapeutic and encouraging. I think everyone should read this book especially considering how often so many of us overshare in this day and age.
January 19, 2012
Good insight into the reason behind confession in major religions. Includes prayers and meditations to facilitate a confession. Plus steps to take to become more aware of our surroundings.
February 6, 2012
Goodreads win - thank you!
The secular religion presented in this made my stomach ache. The whole book could have been condensed down to one chapter and been worth 10X more.
The secular religion presented in this made my stomach ache. The whole book could have been condensed down to one chapter and been worth 10X more.
May 10, 2013
Interesting insight on the history of confession, and how it can serve today.
December 20, 2019
The general message of the author is fine but the book concentrates more on the actualization of Christian faith...
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews