Scooby-Dooby-Doo, Where Are You? We got some work to do now. Oh wait, you mean this isn’t a new episode about that meddling gang from Mystery, Inc and their dog? Well damn, I must have been absent the day that memo was handed out because what we have here kiddies is a true-blue suspense story that must have leaked out from the cartoon network. Crazy, supernatural pranks – check. Murder mystery that unravels as the characters literally stumble upon clues –check. Players that have absolutely no common sense, courage, or emotion – check. Hey Mr. Dobyns, Hanna-Barbera called, they want their storyline back.
I don't know if it was the author, editor, or some one in the publicity office that came up with the title, but I was pissed as hell that I waited the whole book for a title that had little to nothing to do with the story to explain itself.
The outline of the story is a basic who-done-it, which evolves into a redemption mystery that carries a message and a supernatural touch. As it stood the only mystery that existed was the actual point of the story. The arrangement of the events, the clueless players, and the hair-raising predicaments are amateurish at best. The plot is mosaic and redundant from the first chapter to the last. Had it been trimmed and the plot and sub-plots defined it would have turned out to be a different, but much better book. Also, the end debunks any chance that mystery could be involved, which sealed the deal that this tale is a grown-up version of Saturday morning cartoons. Jinkies!
Dobyn’s style of writing is tedious, chaotic, and completely devoid of any structure. Instead of focusing on one, maybe two viewpoints, he has decided to use over ten that rotate from the new headmaster, an underage ex-stripper new to the school, a cook with a past, a complete faculty, a few students, and a homicide detective. How’s that feel, does it hurt? Also, he details everything five times over just in case we didn’t get it in the last chapter or he didn’t point it out loud enough. Had he paid half as much attention to the speed as he did to description, it might have at least been quick. He didn’t, and it wasn’t. Drawn out to the point of exhaustion, the pace taxes both your mind and patience. The events are scarce, and the build-up leading up to them is frenzied.
Now if that wasn't annoying enough, let's talk about the characters. One-dimensional, emotionally detached, and about as sincere as a used car salesman, Dobyns introduces a large cast for no other reason than to fill space. Take the main character, the new headmaster, Jim Hawthorne. Early on we learn that he lost his wife and daughter in a fire due to a patient’s attachment issues and then we are reminded of said incident in every chapter that follows. Where was he and what was he doing? He was receiving a Lewinsky in the parking lot compliments of an old student. Enter an assumption of guilt, remorse, and the need to be punished. Let me repeat that, he NEVER shows any emotion. Also, in order to atone for his past indiscretions and his failure as both a husband and father he decides a job at a school that is beneath accreditation is just the ticket. As for the atmosphere, I’m still looking for it.
My rating? I give it a 1. Get a clue, avoid this book!
-As reviewed for Horror-Web.com