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Dating the Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He's Right for You
Dating the Divorced 1st Edition
With today's skyrocketing divorce rate, it's likely that you will date a separated or divorced man. However, these men are not like the typical single bachelors you're used to dating. They come with numerous unexpected challenges, such as children, difficult ex-wives, substantial financial obligations, and unresolved grief, guilt, or anger.
Dating the Divorced Man prepares you
Filled with real-life insight and advice, Dating the Divorced Man offers the tools you need to decide if you can deal with the issues and find long-term happiness - or if it's time to say goodbye.
With today's skyrocketing divorce rate, it's likely that you will date a separated or divorced man. However, these men are not like the typical single bachelors you're used to dating. They come with numerous unexpected challenges, such as children, difficult ex-wives, substantial financial obligations, and unresolved grief, guilt, or anger.
Dating the Divorced Man prepares you
Filled with real-life insight and advice, Dating the Divorced Man offers the tools you need to decide if you can deal with the issues and find long-term happiness - or if it's time to say goodbye.
- GenresNonfiction
223 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
3 people are currently reading
85 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
April 9, 2016
A few months ago I reconnected with a former coworker and although when we worked together 7 years ago we were just good friends, at this point in our lives we really clicked. The main reason we were just good friends when we worked together is because he was married, but he's no longer with his wife and I was able to see him as more than a friend this time around. It did complicate things quite a bit, though, because while I've dated divorced men before, I have never dated men with children (he has two little girls). I was facing a situation that was so foreign to me (and frankly, a bit frightening), so to ensure I didn't go into this blindly, I picked up Dating the Divorced Man.
The book was incredibly helpful. It provided me with information on what to expect, things to consider, questions to ask him, and lots of other things to be aware of that I never would have come up with on my own. It talked about baggage he may have (kids, ex-wife, emotional hang-ups), boundaries that needed to be set, things that may be deal breakers, and how to identify problems and work them out together early in the relationship. While reading this I was able to apply the author's advice to my situation, I was able to see mistakes I'd already made and straighten them out, and I was able to broach topics with him ahead of time so we could get everything out in the open and make decisions together. I can't say enough good things about this book, although he might be sick and tired of it because of how much I pestered him while I was reading it. (I asked him a ton of questions, and "boundaries" 13 the dreaded "B" word 13 has become my most commonly used word in our discussions.)
The book was incredibly helpful. It provided me with information on what to expect, things to consider, questions to ask him, and lots of other things to be aware of that I never would have come up with on my own. It talked about baggage he may have (kids, ex-wife, emotional hang-ups), boundaries that needed to be set, things that may be deal breakers, and how to identify problems and work them out together early in the relationship. While reading this I was able to apply the author's advice to my situation, I was able to see mistakes I'd already made and straighten them out, and I was able to broach topics with him ahead of time so we could get everything out in the open and make decisions together. I can't say enough good things about this book, although he might be sick and tired of it because of how much I pestered him while I was reading it. (I asked him a ton of questions, and "boundaries" 13 the dreaded "B" word 13 has become my most commonly used word in our discussions.)
February 6, 2023
Quick, easy read, and what seems to be a very good resource for someone who is dating a separated, divorcing, or divorced man. I am currently finding myself in this situation, so I devoured all of the information that Dr Christie shares in this book. Fortunately, I think I have found a good divorced man 🙌🏼 (but only time will tell). I’ve already recommended this book to others in my same situation.
June 19, 2011
Ah, how I wish I had read this before I was six months into a relationship with a divorced (er, divorcing) man. Having grown up Catholic and in a Filipino (did you know that the Philippines is the only country in the world that doesn’t have divorce?) household, I really had no context for what exactly a divorce entails and what implications it has on the people involved. This book broke it down nicely. There are the expected issues (bratty kids, bitter ex-wife), the emotional issues (dad’s guilt, new girlfriend feeling left out, kid’s jealousy), and the financial ones. There are also the more subtle, unexpected issues: feeling ripped off about the situation, like you’re getting second-hand goods; feeling jealous of or threatened by the kid (particularly when the kid is a girl); having to adjust your expectations and feeling resentful of that...
The book also identifies, for lack of better terms, “mitigating” and “aggravating” factors. For example, an ex-wife that’s uninvolved in your relationship and has a life of her own somewhat mitigates the situation, whereas a jilted ex who is regularly in your life is an aggravating factor. Kind of like a “points system” for the relationship’s potential. I dug it!
Basically, the book’s advice can be broken down to the following: for the relationship to be worth pursuing, your “input” (i.e., what you get out of the relationship) must exceed your “output” (i.e., dealing with the issues identified above). Although the book identifies and analyzes the “output” involved, it only points out in a cursory manner the “input” that might be realized. I suppose it is impossible to come up with a “points system” for the “input,” as it essentially boils down to emotional and how you feel about the relationship. But, some guidance in determining “am I really happy here?” would have been helpful.
The book also identifies, for lack of better terms, “mitigating” and “aggravating” factors. For example, an ex-wife that’s uninvolved in your relationship and has a life of her own somewhat mitigates the situation, whereas a jilted ex who is regularly in your life is an aggravating factor. Kind of like a “points system” for the relationship’s potential. I dug it!
Basically, the book’s advice can be broken down to the following: for the relationship to be worth pursuing, your “input” (i.e., what you get out of the relationship) must exceed your “output” (i.e., dealing with the issues identified above). Although the book identifies and analyzes the “output” involved, it only points out in a cursory manner the “input” that might be realized. I suppose it is impossible to come up with a “points system” for the “input,” as it essentially boils down to emotional and how you feel about the relationship. But, some guidance in determining “am I really happy here?” would have been helpful.
September 1, 2016
The longer you wait, the higher chance for you to date a divorced man (often with children). Therefore, it is a good idea to educate yourself about possible pitfalls. No man is perfect and a woman always will be facing challenges in her relationships.
From this book, you will learn what you getting into by dating a divorced man, how to deal with his ex, what is your role in the life of his children, what if you want children of your own, what to expect from his financial situation, and so much more.
At the end of the day, you have to decide for yourself if it is all worth the trouble. Men don't have a biological clock but we, women, do. Evaluate all pros and cons and move on early enough to decrease the amount of pain and increase your ultimate happiness!
From this book, you will learn what you getting into by dating a divorced man, how to deal with his ex, what is your role in the life of his children, what if you want children of your own, what to expect from his financial situation, and so much more.
At the end of the day, you have to decide for yourself if it is all worth the trouble. Men don't have a biological clock but we, women, do. Evaluate all pros and cons and move on early enough to decrease the amount of pain and increase your ultimate happiness!
May 18, 2015
While I'm not dating a divorced (or separated/divorcing) man, I like to read about things ahead of time as being forewarned is being forearmed. I'm in the age group where most men I'd like to date will have been married with children from a previous marriage.
Dr. Hartman's book is detailed, non-judgmental with practical solutions on how to handle this sort of situation. Best of all, she empowers women and encourages finding their happiness and not to settle for anything less than their true heart's desire.
Thank you Dr. Hartman for a well-written book.
Dr. Hartman's book is detailed, non-judgmental with practical solutions on how to handle this sort of situation. Best of all, she empowers women and encourages finding their happiness and not to settle for anything less than their true heart's desire.
Thank you Dr. Hartman for a well-written book.
July 14, 2010
It gave good insight and ideas.
October 24, 2011
Hahah, yes I read this. I found it to be extremely helpful both as someone who has dated a divorced person and as a child of divorce...
June 24, 2012
****** A MUST READ BEFORE YOU LET YOURSELF BECOME INVOLVED PERIOD! ******
August 15, 2013
Helpful. Most of the information in this book I already knew, but it helped to provide a reason behind the issues.
September 9, 2014
This book is a great resource for anyone who is thinking about dating a divorced man. There are many things to consider both good and bad. I'm glad I read it.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews