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Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions
Set in San Francisco in the 1970s, Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions is the true story of how a teenager fends off an armed intruder with only her wits, then goes on to become the toughest female martial artist in her karate school and an early advocate for women’s rights. Yet in private this five-foot fighter forms one disastrous relationship with men after another. Ultimately, Nina Hamberg finds her real battle is an internal one. She has to bond with a different kind of man and allow herself to be vulnerable. Winner of the Maui Writers Conference Rupert Hughes Award and the Bay Area Independent Publishers Association Book Award for “Best Memoir,” Grip reads like a novel. It is by turns riveting, funny, poignant and wise.
Hamberg has woven a memoir with wide appeal. She traces her emotional journey while providing such fast-paced action that reviewers call Grip a page-turner.
- GenresMemoirBiography Memoir
288 pages, Paperback
First published July 8, 2011
2 people are currently reading
97 people want to read
About the author
Nina Hamberg
1 book7 followersNina Hamberg was initially encouraged to write poetry in seventh grade by a teacher named Miss Baudelaire. She has been writing all her life, both for pleasure and profit. Hamberg studied creative writing at programs sponsored by Stanford University, Duke University, and the Squaw Valley Writers Community. She has been a marketing consultant, karate instructor, photographer, group home counselor, synagogue cleaning lady, insurance claims examiner, and receptionist on Park Avenue. Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions is her first book
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
November 8, 2011
I am so grateful to Nina Hamberg for writing this memoir. I don't remember the last time a book took my breath away quite like this one did.
Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions begins during Nina's teenage years, when a stranger breaks into her bedroom and attacks her in the middle of the night. This seemingly random event affects Nina dramatically, and the ensuing story is, in part, the story of how that event shaped her life. Much of this is such an ugly book: but so very necessary.
A lot of her difficulty dealing with this event was caused by the people in her life not understanding the magnitude of what happened. The police make no attempt to find the attacker, and her parents would prefer to pretend it never happened. Her attacker left a physical scar on her, and in one chapter Nina relates the story of compulsively flashing this scar to people. She says, "how hungry I was for someone, anyone, to express outrage over what had happened." This resonated so deeply and personally with me, because I was the victim of childhood abuse, and no one in my life gave me what I really needed: the gift of anger.
In the afterward, Nina writes about her experience writing this book:
Ms. Hamberg did just that, and that is a large part of why this book was so exceptional and so effective. The reader gets the sense that the author is truly showing every side of the story, that the author is including every morsel of her experiences so that we, the readers, can understand the whole of her life as it unfolds.
This book is gripping, mesmerizing, and written with such beautiful, blunt and heartbreaking honesty. I cannot imagine how it must have felt to write something so raw and release it to the world, but Mrs. Hamberg - again, I am so grateful that you did.
p.s. It is my duty to inform you that I received a review copy of this book via the Goodreads First Reads program.
Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions begins during Nina's teenage years, when a stranger breaks into her bedroom and attacks her in the middle of the night. This seemingly random event affects Nina dramatically, and the ensuing story is, in part, the story of how that event shaped her life. Much of this is such an ugly book: but so very necessary.
A lot of her difficulty dealing with this event was caused by the people in her life not understanding the magnitude of what happened. The police make no attempt to find the attacker, and her parents would prefer to pretend it never happened. Her attacker left a physical scar on her, and in one chapter Nina relates the story of compulsively flashing this scar to people. She says, "how hungry I was for someone, anyone, to express outrage over what had happened." This resonated so deeply and personally with me, because I was the victim of childhood abuse, and no one in my life gave me what I really needed: the gift of anger.
In the afterward, Nina writes about her experience writing this book:
Suddenly, I wasn't telling a hero's story at all. I had to write myself as flawed, controlling, weak and lost. I had to admit great shame . . . the scenes . . . couldn't just recount . . . passive manipulation and . . . explosive temper. They had to show my willing participation in our dance.
Ms. Hamberg did just that, and that is a large part of why this book was so exceptional and so effective. The reader gets the sense that the author is truly showing every side of the story, that the author is including every morsel of her experiences so that we, the readers, can understand the whole of her life as it unfolds.
This book is gripping, mesmerizing, and written with such beautiful, blunt and heartbreaking honesty. I cannot imagine how it must have felt to write something so raw and release it to the world, but Mrs. Hamberg - again, I am so grateful that you did.
p.s. It is my duty to inform you that I received a review copy of this book via the Goodreads First Reads program.
July 14, 2011
This is a memoir.. of a woman who chooses one wrong man after another. By wrong man, I don't mean men that leave the toilet seat up, have chronic bad breath, little peckers, or incredibly annoying habits, but men with violent tendencies.
Ever heard the saying about how women choose husbands like their dads? The memoir starts with telling readers a bit about Nina's parents and their failed marriage. It goes on to chronicle an attack she received from a potential rapist at the age of 18... and how no one in her family wanted to talk about it, to defend her... This is a huge turning point and I'm not a psychologist, but I think it determined a lot of choices that Nina goes on to make.
For full review, please click on the link: http://wwwbookbabe.blogspot.com/2011/...
Ever heard the saying about how women choose husbands like their dads? The memoir starts with telling readers a bit about Nina's parents and their failed marriage. It goes on to chronicle an attack she received from a potential rapist at the age of 18... and how no one in her family wanted to talk about it, to defend her... This is a huge turning point and I'm not a psychologist, but I think it determined a lot of choices that Nina goes on to make.
For full review, please click on the link: http://wwwbookbabe.blogspot.com/2011/...
December 6, 2011
When I received an advanced reader copy of Grip for review, I anticipated a memoir about a woman’s survival of abuse. With so many women experiencing abusive relationships (one out of three is the last statistic I’ve heard, and I expect that is on the low side), we sorely need many more such stories of how girls and women cope and, hopefully, survive and thrive later in their lives.
Grip has such moments to set the background. There is the abuse from two very self-centered parents, the father being physically abusive by shoving and hitting, the mother being emotionally withdrawn (as many women are who have abusive partners), a brother who just seems cold. And, there is an attempted rape by a “peeping tom,” leaving the narrator scarred physically by the man’s knife, but emotionally by the violation of her privacy, her body, her trust. Law enforcement officers add to that abuse when they can’t be bothered to take such violence against women seriously. They shrug off the incident in a gratingly insulting manner. The would-be rapist is never caught. The setting is rich with potential to tell this story.
A very long string of abusive relationships follows in the narrator’s life. She chooses one partner after another that treats her badly, cheats on her, uses her and generally treats her with utmost disrespect.
I should be feeling pretty sympathetic by now, right? After all, I myself fall into the statistic of the one out of three, and I know what it means to undergo variations of at least some of the narrator’s experiences. I also understand that many of those who are abused become the next generation of abusers, as inexplicable as that seems on the surface. Women who are abused have a way of being drawn to abusive men, as if following a pattern until they have whatever is roiling inside them worked out, allowing them to break free at last.
The narrator does show many of these typical behaviors. She can be emotionally stunted at moments, at others tosses her heart out with such abandon and stunning trust that it is bound to end badly. Indeed, the book as a whole tends more toward being a story of her sexual conquests and misadventures, giving credence to the theory that those who suffer abuse lose so much self-esteem that they then allow themselves to be treated like crap by anyone who crosses their path, and nowhere more than in the bedroom.
Yet I felt no empathy. The narrator’s actions were often outrageous, but what left me cold was her seeming lack of introspection, making any connection to the events of her childhood to her present actions or drawing any conclusions from them in retrospect. I saw no growth. Her fantasies center on being utterly submissive, even repeatedly releasing her would-be rapist to keep on doing what he did to her. In college, she calls herself a feminist, yet seems oblivious to her requirement of the validation of a man at every turn.
All of which could be typical behavior for a survivor, yet the narrator never quite seems to make that vital connection. When she enrolls in a class for filmmaking, she is angered by the pornographic and demeaning films of her male peers, sanctioned and even encouraged by the male professor. Yet the film she produces is equally outrageous, with women pondering the violent deaths of men. Rather than embracing the power of a woman, she becomes one of those so-called feminists who merely emulate men and try to one-up them in their bad behavior. Never is that connection made that she is behaving no differently than the boys.
Her sexual escapades are no different. She claims to be a free and modern woman, enjoying meaningless romps with men she does not know—even as she wears romantic clothing, admittedly “plays the part of an actor” in bed, and wonders why she can’t seem to find her “soul mate.” Her response is to become submissive as soon as she does catch a partner, anything to please, to allow herself to be used, even her wallet to be depleted—to the point of bailing out a boyfriend from jail that had been arrested for attempting rape. She seems to realize her betrayal against her gender in doing so, calling it “massive,” yet bails him out and continues to support him anyway.
As I read, I kept waiting for the narrator to have her a-ha moment. She mistreats her dogs, ending in the neglect and sometimes painful deaths of her pets. She allows herself to get screwed in the back of a car in daylight on a residential street with a little boy watching in amazement. She gets a job as a counselor for at-risk youth, telling lies about her qualifications to get the job, and treats the job with absolute disregard for the vulnerability of such youth, at that moment when they might yet be rehabilitated before becoming career criminals. She hits one of the boys across the face, “open handed, hard,” and doesn’t seem at all to care about the tremendous responsibility she has been given. No wonder our juvenile system is falling apart …
No a-ha moment. No process of evolvement. The narrator just seems to be telling her story of being blatantly abusive herself without ever connecting the dots. There is almost a light tone of bragging when it comes to her conquests and betrayals—of herself, of her gender, of humanity.
When the story finally ends with a happy second marriage, I am all out of empathy. Let’s see …. she has mistreated animals, children, men, women, herself. If there was a reason for all of this, by the end of the memoir, it is very nearly lost. If one has abundant reason for behaving badly at first, at some point it is time to take responsibility, take a hard look in the mirror, and understand why one does what one does—and stop it. The risk otherwise is to become one’s own enemy, a mirror image. Without that lesson learned, the memoir hardly has purpose or message.
One other thing puzzled me as I read this memoir. Brand names of various products were often so blatantly inserted into scenes, without any relevance, that I wondered if I wasn’t reading one of those examples when an author takes payment to work advertisements into copy. I understand this is a new trend, as technology has allowed people to blip out ads on their phones and televisions, and so marketers are looking for new ways to publicize their brand. On page 18, the narrator as a young girl is brushing her teeth with Crest. On page 37, she drinks Lipton tea. On page 38, a Librium gets popped. On page 41, absolutely everyone in the neighborhood is driving an Oldsmobile. On page 42, there are Bungalow Bars and Good Humor ice cream, and on page 46, one washes with Irish Spring. Really? Either the narrator has a remarkable memory, or the reader is left wondering how much of this copy is manufactured.
Grip has such moments to set the background. There is the abuse from two very self-centered parents, the father being physically abusive by shoving and hitting, the mother being emotionally withdrawn (as many women are who have abusive partners), a brother who just seems cold. And, there is an attempted rape by a “peeping tom,” leaving the narrator scarred physically by the man’s knife, but emotionally by the violation of her privacy, her body, her trust. Law enforcement officers add to that abuse when they can’t be bothered to take such violence against women seriously. They shrug off the incident in a gratingly insulting manner. The would-be rapist is never caught. The setting is rich with potential to tell this story.
A very long string of abusive relationships follows in the narrator’s life. She chooses one partner after another that treats her badly, cheats on her, uses her and generally treats her with utmost disrespect.
I should be feeling pretty sympathetic by now, right? After all, I myself fall into the statistic of the one out of three, and I know what it means to undergo variations of at least some of the narrator’s experiences. I also understand that many of those who are abused become the next generation of abusers, as inexplicable as that seems on the surface. Women who are abused have a way of being drawn to abusive men, as if following a pattern until they have whatever is roiling inside them worked out, allowing them to break free at last.
The narrator does show many of these typical behaviors. She can be emotionally stunted at moments, at others tosses her heart out with such abandon and stunning trust that it is bound to end badly. Indeed, the book as a whole tends more toward being a story of her sexual conquests and misadventures, giving credence to the theory that those who suffer abuse lose so much self-esteem that they then allow themselves to be treated like crap by anyone who crosses their path, and nowhere more than in the bedroom.
Yet I felt no empathy. The narrator’s actions were often outrageous, but what left me cold was her seeming lack of introspection, making any connection to the events of her childhood to her present actions or drawing any conclusions from them in retrospect. I saw no growth. Her fantasies center on being utterly submissive, even repeatedly releasing her would-be rapist to keep on doing what he did to her. In college, she calls herself a feminist, yet seems oblivious to her requirement of the validation of a man at every turn.
All of which could be typical behavior for a survivor, yet the narrator never quite seems to make that vital connection. When she enrolls in a class for filmmaking, she is angered by the pornographic and demeaning films of her male peers, sanctioned and even encouraged by the male professor. Yet the film she produces is equally outrageous, with women pondering the violent deaths of men. Rather than embracing the power of a woman, she becomes one of those so-called feminists who merely emulate men and try to one-up them in their bad behavior. Never is that connection made that she is behaving no differently than the boys.
Her sexual escapades are no different. She claims to be a free and modern woman, enjoying meaningless romps with men she does not know—even as she wears romantic clothing, admittedly “plays the part of an actor” in bed, and wonders why she can’t seem to find her “soul mate.” Her response is to become submissive as soon as she does catch a partner, anything to please, to allow herself to be used, even her wallet to be depleted—to the point of bailing out a boyfriend from jail that had been arrested for attempting rape. She seems to realize her betrayal against her gender in doing so, calling it “massive,” yet bails him out and continues to support him anyway.
As I read, I kept waiting for the narrator to have her a-ha moment. She mistreats her dogs, ending in the neglect and sometimes painful deaths of her pets. She allows herself to get screwed in the back of a car in daylight on a residential street with a little boy watching in amazement. She gets a job as a counselor for at-risk youth, telling lies about her qualifications to get the job, and treats the job with absolute disregard for the vulnerability of such youth, at that moment when they might yet be rehabilitated before becoming career criminals. She hits one of the boys across the face, “open handed, hard,” and doesn’t seem at all to care about the tremendous responsibility she has been given. No wonder our juvenile system is falling apart …
No a-ha moment. No process of evolvement. The narrator just seems to be telling her story of being blatantly abusive herself without ever connecting the dots. There is almost a light tone of bragging when it comes to her conquests and betrayals—of herself, of her gender, of humanity.
When the story finally ends with a happy second marriage, I am all out of empathy. Let’s see …. she has mistreated animals, children, men, women, herself. If there was a reason for all of this, by the end of the memoir, it is very nearly lost. If one has abundant reason for behaving badly at first, at some point it is time to take responsibility, take a hard look in the mirror, and understand why one does what one does—and stop it. The risk otherwise is to become one’s own enemy, a mirror image. Without that lesson learned, the memoir hardly has purpose or message.
One other thing puzzled me as I read this memoir. Brand names of various products were often so blatantly inserted into scenes, without any relevance, that I wondered if I wasn’t reading one of those examples when an author takes payment to work advertisements into copy. I understand this is a new trend, as technology has allowed people to blip out ads on their phones and televisions, and so marketers are looking for new ways to publicize their brand. On page 18, the narrator as a young girl is brushing her teeth with Crest. On page 37, she drinks Lipton tea. On page 38, a Librium gets popped. On page 41, absolutely everyone in the neighborhood is driving an Oldsmobile. On page 42, there are Bungalow Bars and Good Humor ice cream, and on page 46, one washes with Irish Spring. Really? Either the narrator has a remarkable memory, or the reader is left wondering how much of this copy is manufactured.
October 2, 2011
God, how I loved this book! I had a feeling I would totally be nuts about it from the first moment I held it in my hands. It was this bleh morning when I went to pick it up from the Post Office (and it took me 2 hours to finally get it, buuuuut these are the pleasures of how things work…), it was sunny, hot (I hate sunny&hot with a passion unrivaled), and I had a general desire to just make the whole thing go away from my mind. But then I finally got the book, and as I was holding the package, I decided to hell with making my way home, walking my way back, crossing streets and so on was done on auto-pilot. I just ripped the package like a savage and shoved the remains in my (massive) purse, and just started ogling the book.
You know what happened as soon as I saw the cover? I went like and I grinned like some mad woman my whole way home, stealing a read now and then, here and there, and not for a moment letting go of the book from my hands. I knew it right then and there, this was going to be a memorable memoir read.
I postponed starting to read it the entire day, for reasons I’m not sure about. I guess I just needed the velvety companionship of night to go into it; and when night came, I began my read. I had this terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach for the first 40 or so pages, culminating with me crying around page 50. But I didn’t take a break, I couldn’t, I kept reading like I was possessed. Somewhere around page 150 I felt the need for a breather. My emotions were all over the place, and I was getting tired, and being emotionally drained didn’t help much. So I put the book down until morning, when I consumed it with ardor. By the end I was grinning like a mad woman again, and I put the book on my bedside table-thing. I keep glancing at it, reaching over and running my hands over the cover now and then.
Reading this book was the most touching experiences of this year for me, and though it was intense, and consuming at one point, I can’t wait to do it all over again. It’s that kind of book that I know I will read many times, at random times; the kind of book I’d carry around with me, in my bag, my safe exit from whatever bleh situation I might be in. My book savior, infallible.
The writing is absolutely fabulous, the characters are complex, and they’ll keep you pondering and wondering well after you’ve read the book. I’m still wondering about Lee, and I’m in awe of David, but most importantly, I’m in endless awe of Nina, of her strength, her courage, and her uncanny ability to include in her life the most intriguing creatures. I loved the pace of the book, the way you’re showed how she felt things, how she made me a part of her soul with no pretentious rants or effusive passages. Just incredibly well written emotion and feeling.
And just look at that cover!! It’s the best cover I’ve seen in a long, long while. It’s incredibly expressive, meaningful, haunting. It’s a perfect cover for this book. I wanna have a huge poster of it and hang it in my room, that’s how awesome this is. (the only posters I have in my room are of coffee, and that’s my first love, alongside my cat, so you can imagine just how into it I am.)
I strongly recommend reading this amazing book, and if I could give it a 6 out 5 butterflies, I would – that’s how much I loved it. I won’t lie, if you’re the sort that gets very emotionally invested in your reads, like I do, this will be rather intense, but also incredibly beautiful and somehow liberating.
You know what happened as soon as I saw the cover? I went like and I grinned like some mad woman my whole way home, stealing a read now and then, here and there, and not for a moment letting go of the book from my hands. I knew it right then and there, this was going to be a memorable memoir read.
I postponed starting to read it the entire day, for reasons I’m not sure about. I guess I just needed the velvety companionship of night to go into it; and when night came, I began my read. I had this terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach for the first 40 or so pages, culminating with me crying around page 50. But I didn’t take a break, I couldn’t, I kept reading like I was possessed. Somewhere around page 150 I felt the need for a breather. My emotions were all over the place, and I was getting tired, and being emotionally drained didn’t help much. So I put the book down until morning, when I consumed it with ardor. By the end I was grinning like a mad woman again, and I put the book on my bedside table-thing. I keep glancing at it, reaching over and running my hands over the cover now and then.
Reading this book was the most touching experiences of this year for me, and though it was intense, and consuming at one point, I can’t wait to do it all over again. It’s that kind of book that I know I will read many times, at random times; the kind of book I’d carry around with me, in my bag, my safe exit from whatever bleh situation I might be in. My book savior, infallible.
The writing is absolutely fabulous, the characters are complex, and they’ll keep you pondering and wondering well after you’ve read the book. I’m still wondering about Lee, and I’m in awe of David, but most importantly, I’m in endless awe of Nina, of her strength, her courage, and her uncanny ability to include in her life the most intriguing creatures. I loved the pace of the book, the way you’re showed how she felt things, how she made me a part of her soul with no pretentious rants or effusive passages. Just incredibly well written emotion and feeling.
And just look at that cover!! It’s the best cover I’ve seen in a long, long while. It’s incredibly expressive, meaningful, haunting. It’s a perfect cover for this book. I wanna have a huge poster of it and hang it in my room, that’s how awesome this is. (the only posters I have in my room are of coffee, and that’s my first love, alongside my cat, so you can imagine just how into it I am.)
I strongly recommend reading this amazing book, and if I could give it a 6 out 5 butterflies, I would – that’s how much I loved it. I won’t lie, if you’re the sort that gets very emotionally invested in your reads, like I do, this will be rather intense, but also incredibly beautiful and somehow liberating.
October 5, 2015
Long overdue but still a review that I've had trouble writing, simply because it's hard to describe the profound effect that this book had on me and how real it was. I was contacted by Nina to read and review her book and she kindly sent me a copy over and while it's been ages since I posted a review, I've always had this on my "to be posted" list, as soon as possible and I have finally gotten around to writing the review for this in the hopes it does the book justice.
The book is a memoir, and while I specified that I don't do anything outside of fiction books, I made an exception for Nina's book, simply 'cause she took the time and initiative still to contact me and the story intrigued me - and I'm glad I gave this book a chance.
Dark and at times disturbing, this book definitely has an edge to it, but you can't help but continue on this amazing journey that Nina's flowing writing takes you on. The plot is based on her true encounters and woven deep into the plot are issues that I think people need to read more about, concerning independence, confidence, change and a brutal honesty and story of finding ones true self - you won't be able to catch your breath when reading Nina's story.
She brings to life her experiences, with gritty and realistic writing that leaves you amazed at the powers of sheer human will and dedication. I read in another review that "strength is not the absence of vulnerability and feeling safe takes more than just a self-defence class. Despite her feminist views, Nina finds herself still in the grip of her own sexuality -- whether it is to use it to her advantage or disadvantage. This isn't just a book for women. " I can't help but totally agree with that comment, and it's displayed so clearly in Nina's story, that despite writing about issues that people may label as having a feminist agenda, I guarantee that even men and find something to relate to within this book.
The feelings of powerful emotion aside, the book was definitely one that you couldn't put down. I started reading this a few weeks ago during my Christmas break and hadn't been able to put it down since - and whenever I did, I was always itching to pick it back up. No it's not the kind of story that will keep you laughing from page to page, but instead it's one that, aptly, will keep you gripped within the powerful narrative of the book and the flow of ideas and emotions. After finishing the book, I sat there speechless for a few minutes, just soaking in what I had read and so glad that I was given the chance to read this memoir.
This is a must read for anyone, and be ready to be blown away by the book. Thank you once again Nina for giving me this book :)
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The book is a memoir, and while I specified that I don't do anything outside of fiction books, I made an exception for Nina's book, simply 'cause she took the time and initiative still to contact me and the story intrigued me - and I'm glad I gave this book a chance.
Dark and at times disturbing, this book definitely has an edge to it, but you can't help but continue on this amazing journey that Nina's flowing writing takes you on. The plot is based on her true encounters and woven deep into the plot are issues that I think people need to read more about, concerning independence, confidence, change and a brutal honesty and story of finding ones true self - you won't be able to catch your breath when reading Nina's story.
She brings to life her experiences, with gritty and realistic writing that leaves you amazed at the powers of sheer human will and dedication. I read in another review that "strength is not the absence of vulnerability and feeling safe takes more than just a self-defence class. Despite her feminist views, Nina finds herself still in the grip of her own sexuality -- whether it is to use it to her advantage or disadvantage. This isn't just a book for women. " I can't help but totally agree with that comment, and it's displayed so clearly in Nina's story, that despite writing about issues that people may label as having a feminist agenda, I guarantee that even men and find something to relate to within this book.
The feelings of powerful emotion aside, the book was definitely one that you couldn't put down. I started reading this a few weeks ago during my Christmas break and hadn't been able to put it down since - and whenever I did, I was always itching to pick it back up. No it's not the kind of story that will keep you laughing from page to page, but instead it's one that, aptly, will keep you gripped within the powerful narrative of the book and the flow of ideas and emotions. After finishing the book, I sat there speechless for a few minutes, just soaking in what I had read and so glad that I was given the chance to read this memoir.
This is a must read for anyone, and be ready to be blown away by the book. Thank you once again Nina for giving me this book :)
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April 8, 2012
I found much that was thought-provoking in Nina Hamberg's well-written, remarkably honest and candid memoir Grip:A Memoir of Fierce Attractions. The first thing this book brings to mind is the first paragraph of Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina: "All happy families are alike, every unhappy family is miserable in it's own peculiar fashion." Nina makes clear from the start that her family was extremely unhappy and dysfunctional. Her mother is almost completely self-absorbed, and her usually mild mannered father proves capable of frightening violence.
In her late teens Nina is assaulted in her own bed by a stalker, an intensely traumatic experience for any woman. Her screams impel the intruder to leave, but not before he has gashed her thigh with a knife. No one in her family, her community, or among her friends responds appropriately to this traumatic incident. There is no counseling, no closure and the assailant is never found. Nina is left to deal with this major trauma on her own!
One of Nina's responses is to take up Kenpo, a martial art, and pursue a black belt. This would seem a very rational way of dealing with feelings of vulnerability. It is with her relations with men, however that something seems amiss. Some women, after such a frightening experience would turn away from men completely. Nina seems determined to confront her demons head on!
Her first relationship, with Paul, seems benign enough, but it is not a serious committed relationship on the part of either. After she leaves Paul she moves into a house with a woman friend. One day, when her room-mate is out with a band, an acquaintance named Stephen brakes into her house, and basically offers her his services as a stud. What other benefits could a relationship with this unemployed ex-convict possibly offer? Alarm bells go off, of course, but Nina's perceived needs and desires of the moment over-ride them.
Nina's next relationship, equally problematic,is with Lee, an instructor at her Kenpo dojo.Lee comes from a family even more dysfunctional than Nina's own, has serious control and anger issues and is barely literate (in contrast to Nina's obvious verbal acumen.)Again alarm bells go off, and, again, Nina fails to heed them.
In her early thirties Nina finally gets the man-woman thing right. Is it blind luck, or has she learned something?
I think that every young woman should read this memoir. Perhaps more of us will heed the alarm bells when they go off.
In her late teens Nina is assaulted in her own bed by a stalker, an intensely traumatic experience for any woman. Her screams impel the intruder to leave, but not before he has gashed her thigh with a knife. No one in her family, her community, or among her friends responds appropriately to this traumatic incident. There is no counseling, no closure and the assailant is never found. Nina is left to deal with this major trauma on her own!
One of Nina's responses is to take up Kenpo, a martial art, and pursue a black belt. This would seem a very rational way of dealing with feelings of vulnerability. It is with her relations with men, however that something seems amiss. Some women, after such a frightening experience would turn away from men completely. Nina seems determined to confront her demons head on!
Her first relationship, with Paul, seems benign enough, but it is not a serious committed relationship on the part of either. After she leaves Paul she moves into a house with a woman friend. One day, when her room-mate is out with a band, an acquaintance named Stephen brakes into her house, and basically offers her his services as a stud. What other benefits could a relationship with this unemployed ex-convict possibly offer? Alarm bells go off, of course, but Nina's perceived needs and desires of the moment over-ride them.
Nina's next relationship, equally problematic,is with Lee, an instructor at her Kenpo dojo.Lee comes from a family even more dysfunctional than Nina's own, has serious control and anger issues and is barely literate (in contrast to Nina's obvious verbal acumen.)Again alarm bells go off, and, again, Nina fails to heed them.
In her early thirties Nina finally gets the man-woman thing right. Is it blind luck, or has she learned something?
I think that every young woman should read this memoir. Perhaps more of us will heed the alarm bells when they go off.
July 16, 2011
I've never thought of myself as a memoir reader, but recently I've received some incredible books that have me rethinking my position. What I've realized is I'm drawn to memoirs with gritty honestly and self derogating humility. No nostalgic self-reflection retelling of events for me, please. What I love about Nina Hamberg's, Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions is, like others have suggested, this memoir reads like a fiction novel. Although I'm certain there are many other parts to Nina's life, she takes a string of habits and events and pulls the narrative along without splintering or leaving the story dangling. This is real-life, but there is a clear thematic plot full of grainy flaws, sharp wit and humility that are psychologically fascinating without the extra scoop of self-help blah that I think usually turns me off to memoirs.
Personally, I've always considered myself a feminist, but truthfully never related to the stereotypical female associated with this label. What I found in Grip is another female (feminist) character that despite generation, geography and age, I can identify with in a meaningful and relevant way. Strength is not the absence of vulnerability and feeling safe takes more than just a self-defense class. Despite her feminist views, Nina finds herself still in the grip of her own sexuality -- whether it is to use it to her advantage or disadvantage. This isn't just a book for women.
Nina is fair in her portrayal of men and I think raises the question, “Whenever either gender feels threatened (whether emotionally or physically), what defense mechanism do we tend to resort to?” It's difficult to deny being creatures of habit and realizing the common default factors we chose to take. In the end, I don't care if this is a true story or not, because it is simply a very good read that I'd recommend. And, if you think you're not a 'memoir' reader like I once did, I'd wager this book would happily surprise you, so give it a try.
Personally, I've always considered myself a feminist, but truthfully never related to the stereotypical female associated with this label. What I found in Grip is another female (feminist) character that despite generation, geography and age, I can identify with in a meaningful and relevant way. Strength is not the absence of vulnerability and feeling safe takes more than just a self-defense class. Despite her feminist views, Nina finds herself still in the grip of her own sexuality -- whether it is to use it to her advantage or disadvantage. This isn't just a book for women.
Nina is fair in her portrayal of men and I think raises the question, “Whenever either gender feels threatened (whether emotionally or physically), what defense mechanism do we tend to resort to?” It's difficult to deny being creatures of habit and realizing the common default factors we chose to take. In the end, I don't care if this is a true story or not, because it is simply a very good read that I'd recommend. And, if you think you're not a 'memoir' reader like I once did, I'd wager this book would happily surprise you, so give it a try.
October 7, 2011
A typical girl, Nina Hamberg is caught between two parents who act more like children, then adults and later divorce. To make matters worse, Nina is ignored when she tells of a peeking tom looking through her bedroom window. Even the cops don’t take her seriously. So when the stalker breaks in and attacks her, everyone acts surprised, even though the warning signs were already there but discounted. The attack leaves a stain in young Nina’s heart as people around her avoid what happened, including her own father. As Nina grows, she tries to come to grips with what happened, but the effect of the attack is ever present. This becomes evident in her personal life as she seeks solace in the arms of abusers and rapists. Nina is petite, seemingly frail. But the gutsy woman trains in karate and faces down college professors and crude classmates to advocate for women’s rights. Nina takes on violent youth in a group home, almost being raped in the process. Though life’s knocks take their toll on Nina, she is a survivor. In the process Nina will find herself and the peace she longs for. She learns to forgive and in the forgiveness, learns to love herself just as she is.
GRIP is a wonderful memoir. Nina Hamberg is as honest as they come. She holds nothing back as she reveals the horrors in her life along with the triumphs. Not only was her book entertaining, but it reveals just how vulnerable human nature can be. I found the book refreshing and wonderfully written. I would highly recommend it and look forward to seeing more works from this wonderful author.
GRIP is a wonderful memoir. Nina Hamberg is as honest as they come. She holds nothing back as she reveals the horrors in her life along with the triumphs. Not only was her book entertaining, but it reveals just how vulnerable human nature can be. I found the book refreshing and wonderfully written. I would highly recommend it and look forward to seeing more works from this wonderful author.
May 15, 2014
To see my full review:
http://abookvacation.com/2014/05/14/r...
This is the true-life account of Nina Hamberg, a woman who experienced violence at the hands of others, and though she struggled, did not allow it to ultimately define her. Beginning in her teenage years, Nina learns true fear and doubt when a stranger breaks into her house in an attempt to rape her. Though she defends herself, both a physical and internal scar remain—an outward reminder of her trials and tribulations of that night, and an inward reminder of all those around her who did nothing to help. From the police who didn’t take her call seriously to her very own mother, who tried to brush it all under the rug, Nina found herself alone and ashamed, and through this memoir, she bares her soul as a way to finally lay her demons to rest.
Abusive relationship after abusive relationship, Nina struggles to remain in control, and watching her spiral downward, only to finally come out on top, was harrowing but rewarding. Though I don’t usually read memoirs all that often, I found Nina’s story to be one that kept my attention, especially with its ups and downs. This is a triumphant tale of survival, and though Nina experiences many hardships, her memoir is one that teaches readers a lot about what it is like to live a life haunted by a traumatic experience.
http://abookvacation.com/2014/05/14/r...
This is the true-life account of Nina Hamberg, a woman who experienced violence at the hands of others, and though she struggled, did not allow it to ultimately define her. Beginning in her teenage years, Nina learns true fear and doubt when a stranger breaks into her house in an attempt to rape her. Though she defends herself, both a physical and internal scar remain—an outward reminder of her trials and tribulations of that night, and an inward reminder of all those around her who did nothing to help. From the police who didn’t take her call seriously to her very own mother, who tried to brush it all under the rug, Nina found herself alone and ashamed, and through this memoir, she bares her soul as a way to finally lay her demons to rest.
Abusive relationship after abusive relationship, Nina struggles to remain in control, and watching her spiral downward, only to finally come out on top, was harrowing but rewarding. Though I don’t usually read memoirs all that often, I found Nina’s story to be one that kept my attention, especially with its ups and downs. This is a triumphant tale of survival, and though Nina experiences many hardships, her memoir is one that teaches readers a lot about what it is like to live a life haunted by a traumatic experience.
October 26, 2011
Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions
I received this book from Goodreads, and couldn't wait to get started on it. I wasn't disappointed.
Having read the dedication "To David" I was expecting a happy conclusion, but I found it difficult to put down because I always wanted to know what happened next.
Nina's courage and hard work to get where she is today from such an incident filled upbringing is to be commended. Her story could so easily have ended sadly. It made me very thankful for my own stable start in life.
The memoir is told in a very easy to read style, with laughter and tears along the way. It is very well crafted and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment reading it.
I received this book from Goodreads, and couldn't wait to get started on it. I wasn't disappointed.
Having read the dedication "To David" I was expecting a happy conclusion, but I found it difficult to put down because I always wanted to know what happened next.
Nina's courage and hard work to get where she is today from such an incident filled upbringing is to be commended. Her story could so easily have ended sadly. It made me very thankful for my own stable start in life.
The memoir is told in a very easy to read style, with laughter and tears along the way. It is very well crafted and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment reading it.
January 1, 2012
This book was a Library Thing contest win.
While this book is about the memoir's of an abused woman. It seems like the woman did not learn from the abuse. She went on the abuse others including animals. This author did not realize that abuse in any from no matter where it came from or who it came from is wrong. I can not understand how she became to work with at-risk youth. Or why she allowed her self to be treated in such a way.
I will admit to not have been abused by my parents but I was abused by my first husband. I did not take it out of my child, my pets nothing. I took my anger out on paper.
I an stopping about writing this review. I can not go on. I will just get angry and this book is not worth it.
The BUNNIES and I give this book 2-Carrots.
Sorry but I do not like abuse in any form especially to an animal.
While this book is about the memoir's of an abused woman. It seems like the woman did not learn from the abuse. She went on the abuse others including animals. This author did not realize that abuse in any from no matter where it came from or who it came from is wrong. I can not understand how she became to work with at-risk youth. Or why she allowed her self to be treated in such a way.
I will admit to not have been abused by my parents but I was abused by my first husband. I did not take it out of my child, my pets nothing. I took my anger out on paper.
I an stopping about writing this review. I can not go on. I will just get angry and this book is not worth it.
The BUNNIES and I give this book 2-Carrots.
Sorry but I do not like abuse in any form especially to an animal.
December 18, 2011
Grip is wonderfully scenic and compelling. In the manner of Tobias Wolff’s great memoirs, Grip’s meaning is embedded in its story. Nina Hamberg grew up rough, and was scarred. A narrative of her subsequent fraught relationships with men who are afflicted with their own baggage, Grip is frank sexually without being overly graphic. I don't think I have read a memoir that so well captures not-quite-right relationships. Everyone's had them, but they are hard to portray, and Hamberg does so without rancor. A great achievement.
November 4, 2011
I was reeled in from the very first page. "Grip: A Memoir of Fierce Attractions" is a very candid memoir by Nina Hamberg told in a natural and unassuming way that draws the reader further into the author's tale with each breath. The fear, courage and complete candor are palpable forces that make this impossible to put down. It is also a perfect book to share with others who may appreciate the wisdom gained by Ms. Hamburg. It is as stunning as it is unforgettable...five stars all the way!
November 15, 2011
This is one of favorites memoirs now. I really enjoyed reading this book and have told some friends that they need to check it out. This book can help some people and make you look at things differently. It has helped to know someone can make life better by changing things throughout life. Thanks for the book!!!
October 24, 2011
very enjoyable and excellant writing I was into this book straight away. Nina picks the wrong men it seems to stem from the attack on her and it moulds her life into things like doing karate where she excels herself.Nina is a strong women with strong opinions and this comes across in this memoir.
Want to read
October 6, 2011"Women resonate to the emotional journey the author travels to reclaim her ability to trust and love. Men respond to the action on the karate mat and the boldness of a young woman who doesn't hesitate to fight." Really? Is this really implying that women will respond to something emotional, but not the action? I'm kind of dumb-founded why this is in the summary for a book like this.
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