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Surviving Schizophrenia: A Memoir
What you are about to read is a true story. I am an apparently normal happily married mother of four, living the humdrum existence of an ordinary housewife. And I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia, something that I have always felt a deep sense of shame and embarrassment about, and kept hidden for many years.
I have agonised for many years over whether to make my story public – I have written this book, re-written it, changed the names, changed them back again, written it again under a pseudonym, tried to change it into a novel... Finally, last year on a writing holiday at the wonderful Arvon Centre in Totleigh Barton, Devon, matters became clear. This is my story, and I am ready to stand by it. It is a true story and any value that it has for others lies in that fact. I have, however, changed the names of a very few people within the text to protect them from any repercussions of my tale.
I have agonised for many years over whether to make my story public – I have written this book, re-written it, changed the names, changed them back again, written it again under a pseudonym, tried to change it into a novel... Finally, last year on a writing holiday at the wonderful Arvon Centre in Totleigh Barton, Devon, matters became clear. This is my story, and I am ready to stand by it. It is a true story and any value that it has for others lies in that fact. I have, however, changed the names of a very few people within the text to protect them from any repercussions of my tale.
294 pages, ebook
First published June 22, 2011
156 people are currently reading
288 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
August 30, 2013
This was a free Kindle offer and the topic sounded interesting so I went for it. The problem with this story and there were a few is that it really isn't about schizophrenia. The first 60% of the book talks about the main characters childhood. She has a verbally abusive father with a terrible gambling problem, a mother who isn't really there for her and who is an alcoholic and a number of siblings who don't really seem very supportive. There is also a lot of talk about her schooling and teachers, but not much about her illness. This book is poorly edited and for someone who calls themselves a writer is not well written. I do not consider myself to be a writer by any stretch, so any errors in this review should not be held against me.
July 20, 2012
Beautiful book.
December 26, 2013
I was reading this with the hope of understanding more about living with schizophrenia. Unfortunately, this only accounted for about 20% of the book, if that.
June 18, 2023
Louise writes a very interesting memoir to match her turbulent life. However, I did originally pick her book to potentially learn more about schizophrenia diagnosis and her mental health journey - and this included I felt little to none of it. Louise was sectioned 3 times, and at no point we’re you given much indication into the incidences that led up to this. Each time they were skipped over, and I never really felt like she fully opened up into what really happened. She regularly wrote of her experience with anxiety, but for the majority of the book, that’s all you’re really left feeling like she’s plagued with. Most of her symptoms she described were later spoken of as they were symptoms of her medication, not her diagnosis. I wish I was able to learn a little bit more about the illness than was offered. That being said, her life has taken many twists and turns and was overall a good read. I think the title is a little misleading however
March 10, 2015
This book is both a memoir and a mystery. It's a memoir of the author's strange family and bizarre childhood and of the three breakdowns which led to her being "sectioned" (involuntarily committed to a mental hospital.) It's a mystery because it remains uncertain which of her problems stemmed from her illness and which from the largely ineffective and sometimes brutal "treatment" she received. Even her diagnosis (schizophrenia) is in doubt.
She was the child of a passive, alcoholic mother and an angry, abusive father. The first years of her life were spent in emotional turmoil surrounded by luxury. The family lived in a huge old house with extensive grounds. There were servants, expensive cars, and private schools. Her father's compulsive gambling brought about an abrupt change of fortune. The children were removed from the boarding schools that were their only refuge and placed in day schools near the family's cramped apartment. The author (timid and nervous before) was shocked, frightened, and lost. Moving into her teens years, struggling to make friends and with no parental support or supervision, she became a regular pot smoker.
It is known that teens who smoke pot are more likely to develop schizophrenia. What is not clear is whether the pot is a causative factor or whether the teen is experiencing the beginnings of the illness and self-medicating. The author is convinced that using pot triggered her breakdowns. Her stories of the years when she was in and out of mental hospitals are incredible in their detail and emotional impact.
Amazingly, the story has a happy ending. Today the author has a solid marriage and four children. A supportive husband, motherhood, and success in her writing career have given her increased confidence and the courage to speak up. She has also benefited from the growing openness about mental illness and the trend toward encouraging the mentally ill to be decision making partners in their own treatment whenever possible.
Her mother is now sober and they have a loving relationship. Her father died from cancer. On his death bed he was unimpressed with her gifts of pajamas and razors. He demanded lottery tickets and had the numbers written out for her!
I read this book a year ago and I have thought about it so many times since then. I read 250-300 books a year and seldom find one that is as compelling and memorable as this one. The author's intelligence, honesty, and indomitable spirit shine through. Her story is another piece in the puzzle that we must solve in order to bring relief to those who suffer from this terrible disease. I thank her for having the courage to tell it.
She was the child of a passive, alcoholic mother and an angry, abusive father. The first years of her life were spent in emotional turmoil surrounded by luxury. The family lived in a huge old house with extensive grounds. There were servants, expensive cars, and private schools. Her father's compulsive gambling brought about an abrupt change of fortune. The children were removed from the boarding schools that were their only refuge and placed in day schools near the family's cramped apartment. The author (timid and nervous before) was shocked, frightened, and lost. Moving into her teens years, struggling to make friends and with no parental support or supervision, she became a regular pot smoker.
It is known that teens who smoke pot are more likely to develop schizophrenia. What is not clear is whether the pot is a causative factor or whether the teen is experiencing the beginnings of the illness and self-medicating. The author is convinced that using pot triggered her breakdowns. Her stories of the years when she was in and out of mental hospitals are incredible in their detail and emotional impact.
Amazingly, the story has a happy ending. Today the author has a solid marriage and four children. A supportive husband, motherhood, and success in her writing career have given her increased confidence and the courage to speak up. She has also benefited from the growing openness about mental illness and the trend toward encouraging the mentally ill to be decision making partners in their own treatment whenever possible.
Her mother is now sober and they have a loving relationship. Her father died from cancer. On his death bed he was unimpressed with her gifts of pajamas and razors. He demanded lottery tickets and had the numbers written out for her!
I read this book a year ago and I have thought about it so many times since then. I read 250-300 books a year and seldom find one that is as compelling and memorable as this one. The author's intelligence, honesty, and indomitable spirit shine through. Her story is another piece in the puzzle that we must solve in order to bring relief to those who suffer from this terrible disease. I thank her for having the courage to tell it.
August 10, 2012
This is an uncompromising memoir about the author's life. I found it very interesting but it raised more questions for me than it answered. I am mostly surprised that the author is now doing really well, but takes no medication for her schizophrenia. I was under the impression that medication was needed long-term for this condition, but I am no expert and may well be wrong.
I liked the book but it was difficult to read in parts (not because of the writing), challenging and heart-breaking in parts. There were light hearted moments too, the author has had to have a sense of humour to have survived some of her experiences.
I liked the book but it was difficult to read in parts (not because of the writing), challenging and heart-breaking in parts. There were light hearted moments too, the author has had to have a sense of humour to have survived some of her experiences.
December 28, 2011
Downloaded this as a free Kindle book. It's poorly edited in places, but not enough to bother. I liked the quick pace set by the fragmented style, and the subject matter is intriguing enough to keep you reading. By the end of the book, someone with schizophrenia doesn't seem all that different from a “normal” person.
February 14, 2012
Very interesting read that was difficult to put down. Great writing and very personal account of schizophrenia. I would recommend this to anyone wanting to understand schizophrenia. This book also provides great hope for those suffering from schizophrenia as the happy and remarkable ending indicates.
October 20, 2012
I really enjoyed this book. It's an open and honest account of developing, coping and (mostly) overcoming mental illness.
The author goes through some major life changes which make for interesting reading.
The author goes through some major life changes which make for interesting reading.
February 29, 2012
Amazing, some spelling and grammar mistakes but a great read.
April 15, 2012
A true story of a mother of 4 and her struggle with Schizophrenia. A remarkable read.
January 19, 2013
A true acct. from a gal that has lived with this disease. Good for her for having the courage to write about it! I recommend it.
May 25, 2014
Good read
Interesting insight into someone living with mental illness. You just never know what someone's struggles are. I recommend this book
Interesting insight into someone living with mental illness. You just never know what someone's struggles are. I recommend this book
February 15, 2019
Personal description of having a mental illness
The author describes how she experienced three schizophrenic episodes (if that is what they truly were) and how she coped with them, as well as her recoveries. Very honest and helpful.
The author describes how she experienced three schizophrenic episodes (if that is what they truly were) and how she coped with them, as well as her recoveries. Very honest and helpful.
February 13, 2019
Important to breakdown the stigma
A really well-written book giving such a valuable insight into someone’s mind whilst going through mental illness. I really appreciated the honesty which is so vital in humanising these illnesses.
A really well-written book giving such a valuable insight into someone’s mind whilst going through mental illness. I really appreciated the honesty which is so vital in humanising these illnesses.
October 26, 2014
I know the author, Louise Gillett, from her blog Schizophrenia at the School Gate. I'm delighted to have a chance to review her book. Louise is part of the growing number of people who have moved beyond their schizophrenia diagnosis and are committed to encouraging other people to do the same. Her book is a sparingly told and well-written memoir that presents plausible reasons for her schizophrenic breakdown. Unsurprisingly, the reasons are not genetic and are not about bad brain chemistry. People like the author, who consider themselves fully recovered, tend to see the home environment as the reason for their troubles. Home environments are traumatic to one degree or another, but especially for sensitive people.
Holistic explanations for schizophrenia often say that there are two traumas ¯ one pre-birth or in early childhood and the second one in the teen years that pushes the person into psychosis. I personally believe that the person who develops psychosis is more sensitive and intuitive than the rest of the family right from the start.
So, it is unsurprising for me to read that the author was a dreamy, inward-focused child well before the final chain of events that pushed her into a hospital and a medical diagnosis. Take what happened to her at school when she was about the age of ten. (The age of ten, according to shamanic teachings, is when the assemblage point begins to split and the child reverts more and more into fantasy.) Louise meets a new teacher and his wife in the stairway of her school. When she mentions this encounter to the school principal, she learns that the school has not hired a new teacher. According to Assemblage Point teachings, a later traumatic event in the teenage years will push the person into schizophrenia.
Reversal of fortune and family breakdown is one such traumatic event. The author and her siblings went from living in a large house in England, expensive boarding schools and first class air tickets to far-flung destinations, to suddenly one day flat broke and living in a shop over a store.
This book offers many interesting insights as to why psychotic breaks happen. It's a refreshing change from the many memoirs on schizophrenia that see schizophrenia solely through the lens of a biochemical disease.
Holistic explanations for schizophrenia often say that there are two traumas ¯ one pre-birth or in early childhood and the second one in the teen years that pushes the person into psychosis. I personally believe that the person who develops psychosis is more sensitive and intuitive than the rest of the family right from the start.
So, it is unsurprising for me to read that the author was a dreamy, inward-focused child well before the final chain of events that pushed her into a hospital and a medical diagnosis. Take what happened to her at school when she was about the age of ten. (The age of ten, according to shamanic teachings, is when the assemblage point begins to split and the child reverts more and more into fantasy.) Louise meets a new teacher and his wife in the stairway of her school. When she mentions this encounter to the school principal, she learns that the school has not hired a new teacher. According to Assemblage Point teachings, a later traumatic event in the teenage years will push the person into schizophrenia.
Reversal of fortune and family breakdown is one such traumatic event. The author and her siblings went from living in a large house in England, expensive boarding schools and first class air tickets to far-flung destinations, to suddenly one day flat broke and living in a shop over a store.
This book offers many interesting insights as to why psychotic breaks happen. It's a refreshing change from the many memoirs on schizophrenia that see schizophrenia solely through the lens of a biochemical disease.
February 17, 2016
Well written life story, set in mainly in the Bournemenouth / Poole Hants/ Dorset area. Person's life is the usual general from this and that, but some real interesting things thrown in. Like started off born into an extremely well to do family. The families fortune went downhill over the years. Vices certainly affected the author father and mother. No idea about the other siblings who appear to be more together (Also many siblings and quite close family). All family members on the whole appear to be workers and received help in real times of need.
In the midst of this the auther struggles as we all do with raison d'être, the 42 question. And thus the lesson is that the mental illness could take root more easily. She covers three hospitalisations and current or at least at the time practices in mental health.
Found the honest well presented life story extremely insightful and helpful. Certain things have been confirmed as have some of my own thoughts, Also made me realise some things I did not know. Things I wish i had found out earlier but have read only in this book but I have observed exactly the experience as described.
I have read internet articles and a number of books on schizophrenia, having visions, hearing voices looking for answers and so far this is the only book that has a real answer to a real problem from a real person who has experienced it for herself. There are probably other books and articles just as good, better and helpful. But i have not found them. This is a most extraexordinary book indeed. Thanks to the brave author. And if she ever reads this review, i am sure she now realises we as people are products of emotions, fanstasies, thoughts, visions, hearing voices and so on. We must certainly at least dream. In some way we are all schizophrenics and it has in reality never been us and them. And it was not that long ago that for mental illness they removed some of the brain, next then electrocuted patients and now it is drugs. society preaches quite correctly that drugs do not in the long term help, thus laws against the general supply of herion as one example yet in the mental hospitals they hand out dangerous drugs on a daily basis. It is certainly a crazy world. Thanks for the book.
In the midst of this the auther struggles as we all do with raison d'être, the 42 question. And thus the lesson is that the mental illness could take root more easily. She covers three hospitalisations and current or at least at the time practices in mental health.
Found the honest well presented life story extremely insightful and helpful. Certain things have been confirmed as have some of my own thoughts, Also made me realise some things I did not know. Things I wish i had found out earlier but have read only in this book but I have observed exactly the experience as described.
I have read internet articles and a number of books on schizophrenia, having visions, hearing voices looking for answers and so far this is the only book that has a real answer to a real problem from a real person who has experienced it for herself. There are probably other books and articles just as good, better and helpful. But i have not found them. This is a most extraexordinary book indeed. Thanks to the brave author. And if she ever reads this review, i am sure she now realises we as people are products of emotions, fanstasies, thoughts, visions, hearing voices and so on. We must certainly at least dream. In some way we are all schizophrenics and it has in reality never been us and them. And it was not that long ago that for mental illness they removed some of the brain, next then electrocuted patients and now it is drugs. society preaches quite correctly that drugs do not in the long term help, thus laws against the general supply of herion as one example yet in the mental hospitals they hand out dangerous drugs on a daily basis. It is certainly a crazy world. Thanks for the book.
May 10, 2013
This was extremely well written and honest and it made me fall in love with Louise a little bit! She is writing her story of schizophrenia to help explain to her daughter what happened in her past -- all of those things that are hard to say without context -- and I think she has done a beautiful job of it.
I was very happy to read that the author continues to do well and has been able to manage her episodes and stay healthy. She's a writer with great potential and if she can manage such a painful and honest memoir (extremely difficult to do!) then she will have a bright future.
I was very happy to read that the author continues to do well and has been able to manage her episodes and stay healthy. She's a writer with great potential and if she can manage such a painful and honest memoir (extremely difficult to do!) then she will have a bright future.
July 1, 2017
An interesting story from a woman that has experienced a few psychotic episodes, but seems to have found stability. She has a dysfunctional family life and it seems (though it's never explicitly stated) that her father may have suffered from his own mental heath issues. I found her viewpoint enlightening and I think it's good to get a look at how these episodes may feel to a person and this diagnosis effected her through out her life. I recommend Louise's story.
December 4, 2018
A woman with Schizophrenia who has heart and spirit to survive. A wonderful read!
I think this book is wonderful read. I know by the subject matter is difficult, not a lot you might read this, but it has a lot of heart and spirit. My sister had schizophrenia and I from my point of view I can see my sister in this book. I'm really happy for Louise now and her life is getting better. A wonderful read! I am glad I chose this book too read!
I think this book is wonderful read. I know by the subject matter is difficult, not a lot you might read this, but it has a lot of heart and spirit. My sister had schizophrenia and I from my point of view I can see my sister in this book. I'm really happy for Louise now and her life is getting better. A wonderful read! I am glad I chose this book too read!
July 4, 2012
Amazing memoir by a very brave women. Very thought prevoking and interesting.
June 4, 2013
An interesting look at the lives of people more mentally ill than I am, but the ending didn't live up to the rest of the book
October 31, 2014
Excellent memoir about origins, treatment, and survival of mental illness.....
January 18, 2016
Rubbish
Utter boring rubbish.. don't bother, first chapter was ok, but stopped reading, as it's nothing to do with the title
Utter boring rubbish.. don't bother, first chapter was ok, but stopped reading, as it's nothing to do with the title
July 29, 2016
An interesting read. An honest account of her illness and the impact it has on all
August 22, 2019
Louise Gillett’s story of mental illness is both readable and harrowing. With courage, she recounts her slide into addiction and mental breakdowns after a difficult childhood. At the age of 19, she receives the diagnosis of schizophrenia which she hides from the world. For years, she attempts different college degrees, relationships, and jobs– including a jaunt to Israel to live in a kibbutz.
Later, another psychiatrist suggests she might have been misdiagnosed. Overwhelmed with gratitude, Louise hopes to cast aside the stigma attached to the word schizophrenic. But later the doctor backpedals and asserts that after meeting with “the team” he believes the diagnosis of schizophrenia is the correct one. This sounds suspect to me. I am by no means a mental health professional, but Louise’s story does not jive with what I know of schizophrenia. For example, she has been completely off any medication for years without incident.
The story ends hopeful. Louise lives an abundant life with her husband and four children.
One more note: In the afterword, she speaks honestly about the addictive nature of cannabis and how it contributed to her mental illness. If there is a single message that I would like any young person to take from this book, it is not to mess with recreational drugs, particularly cannabis. I see the first occasion that I took a drag on a spliff as the beginning of my long descent into madness.
If this doesn’t contradict the current societal trend, I don’t know what does. I’m grateful for her courage to speak the truth.
Later, another psychiatrist suggests she might have been misdiagnosed. Overwhelmed with gratitude, Louise hopes to cast aside the stigma attached to the word schizophrenic. But later the doctor backpedals and asserts that after meeting with “the team” he believes the diagnosis of schizophrenia is the correct one. This sounds suspect to me. I am by no means a mental health professional, but Louise’s story does not jive with what I know of schizophrenia. For example, she has been completely off any medication for years without incident.
The story ends hopeful. Louise lives an abundant life with her husband and four children.
One more note: In the afterword, she speaks honestly about the addictive nature of cannabis and how it contributed to her mental illness. If there is a single message that I would like any young person to take from this book, it is not to mess with recreational drugs, particularly cannabis. I see the first occasion that I took a drag on a spliff as the beginning of my long descent into madness.
If this doesn’t contradict the current societal trend, I don’t know what does. I’m grateful for her courage to speak the truth.
May 24, 2020
A superb, brilliant and witty view of someone with a psychotic disorder, although diagnosed with schizophrenia, Louise doesn't have all the positive and negative symptoms that comes with a true diagnosis of schizophrenia. Her childhood upbringing, that she brings to life, was enough stress to cause a psychotic disorder, especially when she started using Marijuana.
When I started reading Louise's first book, I could not put the e-book down, lol. Later I found that she has a sequel which I'm reading now, and a collection of poems.
I loved the sociological aspect of her works, which blends the nature-nurture cause of psychiatric problems we have and that feeling of not wanting to be a label. I certainly don't think of myself as a schizoaffective bipolar type which is my diagnosis.
I will continue to follow her writings and blogs.
When I started reading Louise's first book, I could not put the e-book down, lol. Later I found that she has a sequel which I'm reading now, and a collection of poems.
I loved the sociological aspect of her works, which blends the nature-nurture cause of psychiatric problems we have and that feeling of not wanting to be a label. I certainly don't think of myself as a schizoaffective bipolar type which is my diagnosis.
I will continue to follow her writings and blogs.
March 4, 2023
Fascinating and honest insight into mental illness
I was curious to read this book based on its title as my only knowledge of schizophrenia was that people who suffer with it can hear voices...... this honest account of her childhood and journey through life after her first breakdown must surely give hope to anyone suffering with their mental health. It's clear that with the right help and support around a person, the outlook can be a positive one.
I was curious to read this book based on its title as my only knowledge of schizophrenia was that people who suffer with it can hear voices...... this honest account of her childhood and journey through life after her first breakdown must surely give hope to anyone suffering with their mental health. It's clear that with the right help and support around a person, the outlook can be a positive one.
January 31, 2024
Survivor
Very good book - I have worked with schizophrenic patient for the last 25 years. This disease has always been interesting to me. Louise’s story told how she learned to live with her disease & accomplish the goals of becoming a wife & mother.
The book was very hard to put down.
Very good book - I have worked with schizophrenic patient for the last 25 years. This disease has always been interesting to me. Louise’s story told how she learned to live with her disease & accomplish the goals of becoming a wife & mother.
The book was very hard to put down.
July 20, 2019
i've excepted something more about schizophrenia and how to cope with it in a daily routine. Instead of it, i've got memoir MAINLY about somebody's unhappy childhood caused by family, marijuana addiction and school years
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews