Stop Hurting the Woman You Love: Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior

by Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood, Elaine Eldridge (Contributor)

A first-ever how-to book to help abusive men change their behavior by changing their thinking.

End the cycle of abuse - for good. Authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood and Elaine Eldridge uncover a proven action plan that violent men can use to change their behavior. Filled with insightful questionnaires and actual case histories, the essential how-to book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love, will help end abusive patterns in favor of healthier, happier relationships.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Relationships, Self Help

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a difficult topic- and I’m not sure how to describe my feelings about this book. I hope that it would help an emotionally or physically abusive man recognize his behavior as abuse and seek further help.

I like that the book suggests group and individual therapy. I appreciated that the book discussed different types of abuse and gave plenty of examples to help abusive men see what kind of abusive pattern they fall into- particularly if they hadn’t viewed themselves as abusive previously. I appreciate that it doesn’t condemn, but doesn’t sugar coat the seriousness of abuse either.

I don’t think it will change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed and isn’t willing to work on themselves, but I hope this book could be a starting place for how to move forward from an abusive relationship.

Most books I see are aimed at the victim, so it’s good to have something for the perpetrator as well.

[Mike Farmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The enemy of abuse is empathy.”

I really think all men should read this book whether you think you’re “abusive” or not. Abusive behavior covers a wide spectrum of actions & that doesn’t just include physical violence. You may be more complicit in acting in harmful ways than you think. I certainly discovered that about myself.

I feel we live in a world where male entitlement & male anger hang thick in the air & this book aims to mitigate the damage via effective relationship tools & practical down to earth examples of what abuse looks like.

There also some pretty deep insights here on what the roots of anger & resentment are. This is the best book on anger management I’ve ever read & sadly, I’ve read a few.

[Jordan Roffey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve just been through a divorce recently. I was married for 13 years and have one son with her. She ended the marriage and I knew why from the first moment she spoke the words I want a divorce. I was emotionally and mentally abusive but unwilling to face it. Instead of getting better and becoming friends I continued the trend with the abuse. I am currently unemployed living in my van, on EI and spend my time at the public library. I saw this book on the shelf and the title spoke to me. After reading it I now can identify what I did and hopefully prevent issues with new relationships to come. I am not perfect and never will be. I hope with this new knowledge I can piece my life back together. I recommend this book to anyone who feels they are controlling or abusive.

[Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Except for the title, this book doesn't come on too strong and had a lot of relatable situations that can apply to any man (or woman) that struggles with control in a relationship. Practical advice that doesn't come across as blamey or patronizing, methods for tracking internal states and emotions... All around good resource for any relationship, really, from work to spouse to family.

[Irene · Rating 4 out of 5]

buku yang menampilkan pengalaman penulis menangani korban2 kekerasan dalam rumah tangga dan menangani pria-yang menjadi pelaku kekerasan-dalam kelompok2 terapi.
Buku yang bagus untuk menyelami bagaimana kekerasan itu terjadi, dan bahkan menetap dalam suatu hubungan.
Membuka cakrawala baru bagi perempuan bagaimana kekerasan itu secara tidak kita sadari muncul dalam hubungan dan juga memapukan kita menggali gejala-gejala awal kekerasan dalam suatu hubungan.
Buku ini juga bermanfaat bagi pria dengan kuis yang bisa membuat seorang pria mencari tahu tipe seperti apakah dia dan bila berkarakter seperti hasil kuis, kekerasan apa yang berpotensi ia lakukan bila ia tidak berbenah. Masukan yang baik bagi saya untuk tesis saya tentang Dating Violence

[Abū Al-qāsim · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a joke. I have never seen a book this badly written, with such outdated information. It is obvious the the author believes all marital problems are the fault of the husband / man. Their contention that men can't be victims of domestic violence is obtuse. The idea that if the woman withholds sex, cooking or the children, or talking bad to the children about her husband it is usually the fault of the man is unfounded and prejudicial against men. Don't waste your money on this book unless you have an outhouse (the one place the pages from this book may be useful.)

[Cindhy D Meidany · Rating 5 out of 5]

buku yang bagus, tapi ternyata ditujukan buat pembaca pria memiliki sifat destruktif tapi ga sadar bahwa dia punya sifat itu..
buku ini mengajak kepada para pembaca untuk sadar bahwa KDRT itu gak seharusnya ada