The Murderous Urges of Ordinary Women

by Lois Meltzer

Chronicles the comic adventures of four fifty-ish friends who take up Vengeance as their midlife hobby the way other women their age might take up the autoharp or learn Portuguese.
Meet Ellie, Sandi, Janet and Carole-the Book Group from Hell

Genres: Book Club, Humor, Fiction

210 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 15, 2007

Reviews

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm rather disappointed with this book because I love the concept - the murderous urges of ordinary women. The first 20 pages or so were fine but after that it was like a free for all. It seemed like the author had four storylines she wanted to write and since she couldn't decide between them, she shoved them all into this book. The book ends up being a hodgepodge of stories and once you near the end, they don't have anything to do with the main characters. The book started with definite potential but it ended with me thinking "why did I waste time reading this?!" I gave this book two stars because I like the concept, however, in the end this author did not do it justice.

[Jim · Rating 3 out of 5]

I realize I'm off the bell curve for this book's target audience but the title and first chapter or so grabbed me. What I hoped would be the mis-adventures of a band of middle-age women who are mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, collapsed into vignettes concerning the hi-jinks of the individual members. The interplay between the four is what raised a smile and made the potential for mischief evident. Meltzer has a good eye and humorous way with the pen; there are many clever bits here, but in the end the structure is closer to four short stories than a cohesive tale about the Book Club from Hell

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Towanda times 4! I am reminded of the character in "Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe", when the lady rear ended the young bitches car over and over again. These four ladies are truly diabolical. I love the fact that they show other middle aged ladies ( through their website) how to get a bit of their own back from the jerks of the world. I love it!!!!

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book might suffer from the worst case of "don't judge a book by its cover" I have ever seen, to the point that I think this could be a best seller with some light editing and better cover art. Contextually it makes sense, but it has so little to do with the book itself that it is a detriment.

Anyway, unfortunate casing aside, this book was a fun and quick read. What if When Women Were Dragons was a beach read? I think this is what you would get. This is a novella of middle aged women who have had enough and have realized that to general society, they're all interchangeable.

In When Women Were Dragons, the women hit a point where they're done accepting injustices and turn into dragons. In The Murderous Urges of Ordinary Women, they instead find a punishment befitting the crime. As I write this it is 2026 and the world is on fire. I am a woman getting close to being "of a certain age" and wish something like A Call to Flabby Arms was a real thing. We could certainly use some subtle justice and attitude corrections!

[Allison Roy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although a tiny book, it’s taken me awhile to read since that WORK work started. My sleep habits are all sorts of thrown off and I’m still adjusting but haven’t quite been able to make my free time productive yet. Anyways, cute little story about a group of “invisible”, overlooked middle aged women just out for revenge. I swear I have seen a movie preview that seemed exactly like this book but after googling for a few minutes gave up my search because 🤷‍♀️

[Missy Kallenbach · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointed. I would give the title 5 stars as that was the draw, but the execution was not there for me. The first chapter was good and I had high hopes for the idea of this book. It went downhill from there. There were too many characters to keep up to up with and it kept jumping all over the place. I made it through it, but only out of a mild curiosity to see if it would lead to something unexpected...it did not. 2 star only because I love the title so much.

[C.Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Light, funny read!

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title is what made me read this book. It started out funny, but the longer it went on, the more my feelings went from "what happens next" to "I've read this much, let me just finish it". meh😞

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Stories were funny. It made me think about times I would have liked to take revenge. The writing style distracted from the content.

[Sam Todey · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title of course caught my eye, and the premise had so much promise. Unfortunately, the author didn’t follow through.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some funny lines within but it didn't deliver on the potential I saw in it.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read for a book club to which I was invited. Not sure I'll fit in, based on this first pick. Maybe I'll appreciate this one more in 20 years...

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

As those who read my reviews and see my reading list know, I normally read little fiction, but sometimes a great referral comes along for a book that makes me take a break from my non-fiction diet. Like a double chocolate for chocolate lovers’ and hazelnut layer cake or a perfectly browned Crème Brulee should not be resisted now and again—so too a really fun fiction should be enjoyed occasionally as well.
This book “The Murderous Urges of Ordinary Women” is just such a book. It made me laugh and laugh, and laugh out loud, which, right there, puts this book and author Lois Meltzer in a small group of my favorite fiction authors. And in case anyone is wondering that small clique includes Tom Robbins, and Jasper Fforde. Both of those authors also cause the same response: out loud laughing. All three authors have lovely turns of phrase, a clear love of words and delightful word play. In the simplicity of the narrative voice this becomes and easily visualized book and would make a fantastic move!
Of course there is a problem reading such an exquisitely crafted book...now I have to read the other books Ms. Meltzer has written.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Lois Meltzer's book was a delight to stumble upon. The recommendation had travelled to my women's book group via word of mouth, and the belly laughter during our meeting could be heard down the block I'm sure. We middle-aged women recognized ourselves and the (usually) suppressed desire for revenge when we are marginalized or made invisible by people who underestimate us. Who would suspect a middle-aged woman of kidnapping a Supreme Court Justice? No one, which is why one of these women gets away with it ( at least for a while...) As it turns out some of Meltzer's stories are not so far-fetched; two of us, for example, knew women who'd had boob-jobs gone awry, like a hapless young woman in this book. But this surgeon gets his comeuppance, thanks to Meltzer's delightful cast of characters. The central character, hoping to mobilize middle-aged women, names her websiste "CallToFlabbyArms." If you just smiled, then this is your book. It's tremendously witty. I'd like to see more of Meltzer's work but I can't find anything else. She needs to write more!

[Shelley Silver · Rating 4 out of 5]

A real hoot! A friend lent me this book, telling me to save it for some time when I was feeling depressed, because it would make me laugh out loud.
More a collection of linked stories than a traditional novel, "Murderous Urges" is many cuts above the usual run of "hen lit," Meltzer has an original comic voice, a sharp, satiric eye, and intelligence up the kazoo..
The chapter about the love crazed granny kidnapping a Supreme Court Justice (think Scalia), and force feeding him in her basement is absolutely priceless. Worth the cost of admission.
Highly recommended. I loved it.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the name of the publisher: Certain Age Press, which is located in Seattle WA, thank you very much. When I began this book, I thought "Oh, this is a good one" but the style began to irritate me after a while. I liked that it was about women of a certain age, and it was a very quick read, but the book is disjointed. At the end of each chapter is an italicized section which I couldn't figure out at first (and still not sure but I think it was postings to their website, after the deed was done, and there are several "deeds" done). Anyway, it's a fun read about women exacting revenge but I had reservations. This book will be discussed at our Book Women Retreat in October 2014.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend got this for me this year for Christmas......just because I told her about a little daydream I had about assaulting a guy with a ball point pen. Didn't do it, of course. This looks hilarious!

And it was pretty funny, especially the beginning. Quite a bit of f-bombing, so much so that it felt a bit odd to be reading it at a high school wrestling match (where, admittedly, the f-bombing was going on all round, not just in the book). Quick, light read, room for expansion, sequels, etc. It probably didn't live up to it's potential, but was great for a quick escape!

[Barbara Alpert · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friend group finds a way to turn the downside of being a certain age into hilarious and oh-so-satisfying adventures. Each of the characters gets to shine and, taking cues and courage from each other, each friend finds her own bold outlet for action. The TV info-advert, the judge who thrives in captivity are laugh out loud parts of this fact-fiction-fantasy world. All told with Meltzer's inimitable elan.

[Becca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meltzer thinks she is far wittier than she actually is, as evidenced by her over-the-top author bio and oddball plot. She also seems to see herself as one of the invisible middle-aged women she describes in this book, trying so hard to be noticed. In theory this could have been a good book, but I found it more whiny and self-deprecating than anything.

[Nancey · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was a fun fluffy really quick read. It reminded me a little of Carl Hiassen's Nature Girl and her getting even with telemarketers. Completely unrealistic. As a woman over 50, I can understand the feeling of invisibility but I seem to experience more being the approachable safe person to ask a question. It happens everywhere. Safe, invisible oh well, I ok with it.

[L · Rating 2 out of 5]

Parts of the book were okay, but there were so many characters telling a serious of short stories inside a larger story that I never connected with any of them. I liked the premise of the book, which is that middle aged women can get away with crimes because no one will suspect or notice them. The first two chapters or so of the story were funny but after that I got really bored with this book.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

So far so good. A very simple read. After a few hours I am almost done. Interesting enough so far, although a bit far-fetched/corny.

Well, I never did finish the last chapter and now I can't find it. Tells you how much I cared...

[Jill Warner]

Wonderful book... a more literate Janet Evanovich ! Meltzer captures the fantasies of us "ripe" ladies if we were the karma monitors of life. "MUOW" is a clever spin on a group of bright, interesting, no-longer-taut ladies, helping keep Darwin's theory alive ! Don't miss this hilarious read !

[Elise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the title AND the book cover. It's an updated hybrid of "First Wives Club" and "Fried Green Tomatoes." Some funny characters, some a little too tritely written, but still enjoyable entertainment.

[San · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit fluffy but fun nonetheless. I thought the principle was entertaining but I did quibble with the lawyer being involved in copyright infringement - but I suspect that's just me. Would make a good beach read.

[L.F. Falconer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Being an ordinary woman of "the age", there were parts of this book that I could really relate to. It was amusing in spots, and overall fairly entertaining. A bit hard to keep up with having to get into the minds of so many different characters though.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

So wanted to like this book and it fell way short. I thought it was supposed to be funny and I barely snickered. The writing was all over the place and I didn't bond with any characters. Not recommended.

[Allison]

Tedious, not the best writing although I'm sure the author has it in her, got 1/4 through, said "who cares?" and gave it away.

[Sandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

The plot of the book sounded like fun and the first chapter or so were funny but then it got less and less fun and I had a hard time getting through the rest of the book.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg this book is so frickin funny!