I actively avoid reading poetry, perhaps because it annoys me that I imagine the Poet too well as she writes.
The Poet is leaning back against a rock outcropping, a pen and notebook in hand, her eyes half-closed, and is taking in the magnificent views and the last few rays of sun on a fall afternoon. She is in communion with Nature. A gentle breeze caresses her long tresses, but her brow is unmarred by perspiration; her perfectly stylish retro taupe skirt and cream crepe blouse bought at name brand boutiques are barely wrinkled. Struck by inspiration, she starts writing, and the words flow urgently and effortlessly from her pen. She is nationally known and revered. She travels and likes to bring back mementos from her trips, such as the picturesque stone cottage she fell in love with on a trip to Wales, which she had dismantled stone by stone, shipped across the ocean, rebuilt and lovingly restored to its 19th century beauty, surrounded by a gorgeous English cottage garden of roses, peonies and delphiniums. People have trailed a path to her (rustic) door and have praised her exquisite taste, her comfortable and warm furnishings, the imported farm antiques whose simple, austere lines polished by time accentuate her surroundings like muted reminders of the Past. Articles have been written about her in magazines, with lavish spreads showing her carrying baskets of flowers in her arms, harvesting eggs from her henhouse, planning feasts for her visiting friends, or sitting, pensive, at her desk, reading letters or reviewing the manuscript to her latest anthology with her faithful golden retriever at her feet and a cat asleep on her lap.
I resent the Poet because I am not she.
This is why I don’t like and don’t read poetry: I imagine it mostly written within the very confines described above, as the self-indulgent musings of the elegant upper class who have too much time on their hands. I know that I am unfair about it, but that is my immediate reaction when facing the prospect of opening a Book of Poetry...
Unlike the Poet, I don’t have the luxury to stop and enjoy what I see in my daily life, much less, to write about it. I run from one place to the next, and I live my life as if in a blur. I am often late to important appointments; I forget promises. I can’t find inspiration running after TriMet busses that take off the curb the minute they see me frantically waving at them. I don’t have the time to make dinner; we eat sandwiches. My yard is overrun with weeds. I feel as a failure as the days, months and years pass, and I can’t manage to put anything coherently together, to amount to anything.
For instance, every year, I promise myself to look with purpose and intent at the tree peony at the side of the house, the one that is the first to bloom, to take in its extravagant red flowers big as dinner plates, to admire the silky texture and the delicate fragility of the petals. And, like every year, I forget to do it. When I finally make it into the garden, it’s invariably too late: as I stand looking at the faded mauve drooping mess, I know that, once again, I missed carrying out my personal resolution. And it doesn’t matter that the white tree peony is now in its full beauty, and after it, the pink one will unfold its own fragile petals: the only shrub I care about is the one with the red blooms.
Nevertheless, Sharon Old’s poetry is not self-indulgent; it is sensitive, well written and descriptive. Old’s “The Gold Cell” is divided into sections that seem to reflect periods of her life, her relationships, in Part One, with the world around her as experienced in the present time, then, in Part Two, her childhood and relationship with her parents, in Part Three, growing up and womanhood, and in Part Four, her children.
I particularly liked the poem “On the Subway” because of the implied tug-of-war between the poet and a young man sitting across from her on the train. Going beyond what may be perceived as just a reflection about an encounter in the subway, because of their different races and background, the poet ponders who has the power in the passenger-to-passenger relationship that is developing as they observe each other on the train. Is he in a position to take advantage of her by robbing her, or is she in fact taking advantage of him by enjoying privileges he obviously does not? Who is hunting whom, she seems to wonder. The poem ends without telling whether any exchange takes place between the two passengers, but the poet suggests that even if she were mugged, she would still have the upper hand and be the one taking advantage of someone else.