Dear Coca-Cola

by Terry Ravenscroft

Putting pen to paper with hilarious results, in Dear Coca-Cola Terry Ravenscroft homes in on the Food & Drink industry. Household names such as Heinz, Ryvita, Tesco, Cadburys and of course the Coca-Cola Company are the targets for his entertaining epistles, resulting in a laugh-out-loud letters book with a difference. And you don’t want to know what he asks Jacob’s Biscuits for! But you will when you’ve read his letters to them.
You will never look at the contents of your fridge or kitchen cupboards in the same way again.

If you enjoyed reading Dear Coca-Cola I would really appreciate it if you were to recommended it to any of your friends who you think might like it.

Terry Ravenscroft

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Comedy, Ebooks

196 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 26, 2011

About the author

The day after I threw in my mundane factory job to become a television comedy scriptwriter I was involved in a car accident which left me unable to turn my head. Since then I have never looked back.
Before they took me away I wrote BBC television comedy scripts for Les Dawson, The Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise, Alas Smith and Jones, Not the Nine O’Clock News, Ken Dodd, Roy Hudd, and several others. I also wrote the award-winning BBC radio series Star Terk Two.
I started writing books when I retired from scriptwriting in 1995. Up to now I have written sixteen, all of them humour.
Born in New Mills, Derbyshire, England in 1938, I still live there with my wife Delma and my mistress Divine Bottom (in my dreams).

My book Stairlift to Heaven is an Amazon Countdown Deal at just 99cents from April 5 to April 12.
http://amzn.to/n3Rtx2

Reviews

[Suzanne · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have to admit I am pretty darn disappointed with this one - great reviews on Amazon, but it just reads as a pathetic person with nothing better to do than send in letters to large corporations that read like they were written by someone with at least a couple of screws lose. The fact any of the companies replied is a miracle in itself really. Not worth the $4 I paid... not even sure it would have been worth it as a free book too.

[Barry Leighton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Found this short book rather dull, even at such a short length I found it too long. There may have been one or two funny moments but nothing worth remembering. I even found myself rather infuriated at the authors responses to letters which seemed to be genuinely helpful. Not funny at all.

[becca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dear Coca Cola by Terry Ravenscroft is a series of letters to food and drink industry companies and then the replies; often there would be several letters set back and forward to the same company. There were recognisable companies such as Heinz, Coca Cola, Aunt Bessie's, Tesco, Ryvita and many more. It is amazing how many try and 'buy the writer off' with money/vouchers etc.

Intitally i found this book really interesting and humourous, it was definitely a laugh out loud kind of book. But sadly, this didn't last long, i got bored of the childish wit because letters and 'comments/complaints' just got stupid. Unbelievably stupid! I found myself scan reading it because i wanted something interesting and funny again and wasn't getting it.

I understand that it was a series of letters but i got sick of seeing the address of the author over and over again, as well as the company! Maybe this adds something to the paperback version but if so it was definite lost in the kindle version.

It is def a book that you dip in and out and i would say to people to read it but not as a sit down and read book. I would say just to read the companies you are interested in and don't read too much at once.

[Cameron Lawton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Firstly I'm not quite sure why. I'm left wondering how much time the author has on his hands to be able to dream up this correspondence. I'm also left having a lot of sympathy for the poor sods who had to handle these letters and who showed immense patience with a wind-up merchant. Finally, I'm wondering why he felt the need to do it. If I had a beef with a company I'd write to them, of course I would, but to send malicious complaints and suggestions just for the fun of it seems warped to me.

I bought it because it was featured on a radio programme and sounded funny ... after the first few letters it wasn't.

[Jayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This read had me laughing my way through a pretty awful train journey. It was a fabulous read that could be picked up easily and a anytime even for just a short amount of reading time. However it does need to come with a warning THIS IS FOR PEOPLE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR. It is a light hearted book with the ease and sillyness which provides entertainment without the need for serious thought.

[Pamela · Rating 1 out of 5]

I rarely don't finish a book I start, but this was so awful I just put it down. I only tried it because it was a free Kindle book. There is a reason this one is free.

[P. Christopher Colter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Terry Ravenscroft is a funny writer, there is no doubt about that, and this is a funny read. The premise is a simple one: write an odd letter of complaint or compliment to a company about one of their products, and let the humor take its course. The author is British, and the distinctly British tone of Ravenscroft's letters and the replies to them adds to the fun for me.

Most of the responses the author received were variations on form letters or were written in highly restricted language, as I am sure the corporate employees who sent them were required to use. As a result, the correspondences were not a "fair fight". Ravenscroft was outrageous, the respondents had no choice but to be professional and courteous. While this was very funny at first, it got old.

Dear Coca Cola is definitely worth checking out, but I found it more the type of book I would pick up and read briefly for a few minutes and put back down again, returning to it later for a bit more. It was not a primary read that would consume me for extended periods. If you approach it with that kind of expectation, you will enjoy it a lot.

[Simon Gianoutsos · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did have reservations about this book before I started and my reservations turned out to be appropriate. Whilst there are some amusing complaints and replies I gave up about a third of the way through after they were getting a bit too monotonous.

[Ruth · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kindle freebie. Premise looked good, first couple of letters were funny and then not so funny. Sadly, did not get past 30% or so.

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Terry Ravenscroft writes letters to different companies - a lot of companies - and these are included here, along with the responses he gets from them. Many of them are quite funny, whether they are complimentary or derogatory.

(Yes I know they aren't real letters, at least I would think they weren't anyways.)

He writes about himself, his children, and his wife in these letters and the impact of said product on them. Many times he goes into TMI mode (too much information) and that's what makes this so funny. He's like the person that has no filter, but quite innocent in it all.

3 / 5 stars

[Amy Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laughed Myself Out of Bed

This is one of the most enjoyable books I have ever read. I don't think a book ever made me laugh like I did....I got kicked to the sofa for laughing and even though I tried to hold it in I still woke my husband. I will read him some of my favorite letters when he wakes up and I'm sure he'll forgive me. I am looking forward to more of Terry Ravenscroft's comedic genius.

[Eva Ruff · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a cute idea. One or two essays were interesting. Then it became repetitive and boring since many of the same queries were sent to different companies and many were actually not funny at all.

[Alicia Huxtable · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't read this while drinking

I nearly cooked on my drunk over several of Mr Ravenscroft's complaints. While being humorously worded, the spokesman for the different companies must have had a good giggle too

[Belle Lupin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not really a novel that you read all in one go. Funny though and good for light reading!

[Christi-Ann Pierantoni · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a hilarious book. Letters to various businesses asking about the most surreal things. I recommend this book highly.

[Di Paterson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a 'pick-up and put-down' or 'bathroom book'. The sort of book you read in snippets. It's amusing, but becomes dreary and more of the same if you read for too long at a time.

[Gayle · Rating 2 out of 5]

A series of complaints or compliments written to various big companies taking the Mick out of them.

[Kiri · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dear Publicists,

Please see the excerpt below. I don't care what Colette, Daisy, Lee, or Chocolady think or experienced. When this is ALL I see about a book I am going to pass on it. This is not telling me what the book is about. This is NOT effective marketing, and when it is all one sees online when browsing to buy, or it is all one sees on the back of a book (or inside flaps), all you have done is declare that others liked it. Well fine.. I still have no idea what it is about and I'm not a freaking lemming. You are only letting down your authors

So please, do your jobs (or at least try), tell us in short and delightful prose WHAT the book is about. A brief handful of reviews AFTERwards are fine, but if that is all you can provide about something... it is likely only good for wrapping fish.


---excerpt ---

"OVER 50,000 COPIES SOLD IN EBOOK AND PAPERBACK!

Since it was published in May 2011 Dear Coca-Cola has received 33 x 5 Star Amazon Customer Reviews. Following are extracts from just three of them -

Colette - Funny, funny, funny. Thanks to this book all the people who were on the same plane as me think I’m a fruitcake as I sat giggling and laughing to myself non-stop. I just didn’t want it to end.

Daisy - I had already read and enjoyed Terry Ravenscroft's Dear Air 2000 so I was really looking forward to this. I was not disappointed. Magnificent. And Mr Ravenscroft has another eight books on Kindle that I have still to read. Can't wait.

Lee Sylvester - Do not read this book whilst holding a cold drink, a hot partner or anything squeezable. The genius of this man's writing is a beautiful thing to read, dry, sharply observed and above all cheap as chips on kindle downloads.

Chocolady - What an excellent book....it had me laughing out loud from the beginning. I challenge anyone to buy this book and keep on reading until the end before putting it down. I now have all the other books by Terry and each one is just as funny as the previous book. Give your chuckle muscles a favour and treat them to a copy of Dear Coca-Cola."

[Lorraine Shorter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is cringingly funny! Terry Ravenscroft invents (at least I hope he invented them) bizarre character traits for himself as he lets lose his imagination and goes after some of the UK's best known brands, in what can only be described as an assault on common sense.

With a regular acknowledgement of his love of oven chips, in this collection of letters Ravenscroft sends both complaints and praise to some of the best known labels on our supermarket shelves among other thins, congratulating them on quality or accusing them of fraud under the Trades Description Act. The responses he receives are faithfully included right down, as he claims, to any typos.

What comes across in these letters is the tolerance of idiocy in customer services, and the length companies will go to to ensure customer satisfaction. As a reading commuter I drew more than my share of funny looks and smiles as I laughed out loud on the bus reading Ravenscroft's letters. It was interesting to see how much nonsense different companies would tolerate. Not to mention how generous they were in reimbursing or compensating a dissatisfied customer, even if it's because the customer seems to lack any shred of common sense or intelligence.

My favorite and funniest letter in the collection was that sent by Ravenscroft to Bisto, telling them of the welcome side-effects of having accidentally washed his underpants in their famous gravy granules... it was a scream!

The brands names in the book do tend to date it a little, and although the humour is still there, I'm not sure it would be as funny to an international market who won't recognise the brands. But nevertheless, this was a hilarious read from start to finish, which I highly recommend.

[M.G. Mason · Rating 3 out of 5]

Terry Ravenscroft likes to write letters of complaint ansd praise to businesses about their products. He is a bored retiree with a sharp sense of humour and in Dear Coca Cola he has taken on the persona of a daft fanatic / complainant about a variety of well-known products.

In each case he takes a product (in the first case Coca Cola) and sends the producers a letter. The letters are one of three things: a query, a complaint or praise. Sometimes they are silly from the beginning and others get increasingly daft depending on how many responses he gets. So long as he gets a response, he will continue to write back often with hilarious consequences.

Nobody is safe from his target sights and often the jokes write themselves. It is also quite revealing the lack of interest some big companies take in receiving consumer feedback (letters of praise receiving a standard “we are sorry you were unhappy with one of our products” response). This sort of book is never going to win any comedy awards but it is the sort of thing you want on your kindle for light holiday reading or to dip in and out of when the mood takes you.

Note: This is a Kindle only release. Terry Ravenscroft has a similar ebook entitled Dear Air 2000 in which he writes to well-known airlines.

See more book reviews at my blog

[Felipe Hernandez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty funny how he would troll these companies with his crazy questions and remarks. I'm glad most of these companies seems to have a good sense of humor about his "inquiries".

[S. Stoner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a funny book... IF you have the British droll sense of humor. I laughed my way through it, albeit a bit at a time. This is a fun book to read piecemeal, maybe fifteen to twenty minutes at a sitting... more than that and you are likely to get bored with it. Read in short spates, however, it remains fresh and, in places, downright hilarious. I would guess that this is aimed at older readers, as younger readers will have neither the patience to read it, nor the inclination to finish it. Over all, I really liked the book. It was humorous; not deep, but somewhat cerebral; and appealed to the imp in me. I should think that writing, sending, and receiving responses to these letters was great fun. For those who think the author "had way too much time on his hands," you obviously haven't had to deal with retirement yet... one must find all kinds of ways to keep oneself amused and sharp or one just gets old. Of course that is the curse of mankind... we all do it. Just wait your turn and see what you come up with in those "golden years."

[Wendy Cartmell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Putting pen to paper with hilarious results, in Dear Coca-Cola Terry Ravenscroft homes in on the Food & Drink industry. Household names such as Heinz, Ryvita, Tesco, Cadburys and of course the Coca-Cola Company are the targets for his entertaining epistles, resulting in a laugh-out-loud letters book with a difference. And you don’t want to know what he asks Jacob’s Biscuits for! But you will when you’ve read his letters to them.
You will never look at the contents of your fridge or kitchen cupboards in the same way again.

Dear Coca Cola is out and out hilarious! I've never laughed out loud so much whilst reading a book. I drove my husband to distraction by randomly laughing out loud and occasionally crying with laughter. Mr Ravenscroft is a genuine comedian. His credentials are impeccable and he has been responsible for scripting some of the funniest programmes on BBC television in the UK. The comedy programmes never disappointed and neither does Mr Ravenscroft's books!

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Many readers will enjoy this, and I certainly can't complain of the price. (It was free.) That said, this litany of puerile pranks and epistolary taunts inflicted on the hapless-but-compulsorily-polite employees of major corporations made me want to scream. If you enjoy well-written, clever acts of minor-league subversion, if you're a fan of slapstick and can extend that appreciation to verbal taunting and derision applied to actual customer service representatives who have no choice but to take it, then you may very well *love* this book. Because make no mistake, the author is literate and ingenious, and has ably applied those faculties to making fun of people. Or, at least, exasperating them. For my own part, I found this exercise in "embarrassment humor" emetic and excruciating to read.

[Whistler's Mom · Rating 3 out of 5]

This author started with a slightly skewed outlook on life and spent decades writing for top English sit-coms. He is now thoroughly warped and brilliantly funny. In this book, he writes strange letters to large companies. The first response is always serious and solicitous. Big companies either wish to keep customers happy or their employees who answer letters are a bit dim. But our Boy keeps up the correspondence as long as they answer. Do they eventually grasp that he's a hoaxer or are they hiding under their desks? You have to wonder.

I like this book, but Ravenscroft's masterpieces are the three volumes in his STAIRLIFT TO HEAVEN series. In those books he records the day-to-day (and some of his days are bizarre, indeed) life of a "coffin-dodger" and his wife and friends. If you like off-the-wall English humor, you will love them as much as I do.

[Rodney · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a funny book and Terry Ravenscroft is a good writer. As others have said this is a series of letters written to various corporations that seem designed to test how far customer service departments will go to please a customer. Its pretty funny stuff. I enjoyed it and found myself reading a little in small settings between other books. I could never have read it all in one setting as it does tend to become repetitive.

Overall I gave the book 3 stars. I would have liked to give it 3 1/2. I got if free and for a free book I got a fair amount of enjoyment from it and would recommend it to someone looks for a laugh.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dear Coca-Cola was a book of letters that the author Terry Ravenscroft wrote to various companies, offering both praise and criticism. Since I have worked for various manufacturing and retail companies, I thought the letters were hilarious – both the letters ‘from Terry’ and ‘to Terry’ from the companies. Some of them made me roll my eyes, and think “Really?” but overall it was a light-hearted, funny and quick read. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone that has ever worked for a big corporation, since I know people really do write these kinds of letters.

[Ryan Pry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I stumbled upon this in the "free ebooks" section on the Amazon Kindle store. It is a series of letters that the author sent to various companies regarding comical problems that he had with their products, and the replies received from the companies' public relations reps. Some are hilarious, including the letters to Coca Cola after which the book is named. However, it's worth noting that Ravenscroft is English, and thus I am unfamiliar with many of the products featured in the book.

[Kate (Looking Glass Reads) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up because of good reviews I'd seen and because it looked like a great quick read - the sort of thing to read before bed that didn't require as much thought as other books I typically read. Unfortunately, this never caught my attention. There were humorous moments, but I found myself skimming the majority of the time. Ultimately, I did DNF this. Maybe one day I'll go back and skim the rest. It's still on my kindle. But, well, I don't foresee that happening anytime soon.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just when I would decide this book was worth no better than a 3 star rating - one of the far fetched letters would have me in stitches! Having no familiarity with most of the British products named - just the product names themselves especially in this context were often good for a laugh. I will be recommending this one to my Dad who is a huge fan of "Hyacinth Bucket" (from BBC'S "Keeping up Appearances"). I think he would enjoy this immensely!