The Poo Bomb: True Tales of Parental Terror

by Jeff Vogel

Author Jeff Vogel did not go into parenthood with any delusions. He knew that he would love his daughter, and that was terrifying. What if he screwed up? And he knew that life with a baby would be different, that it would be filled with an endless stream of filthy diapers, unexplained wailing, and sleepless nights. Not to mention no sex. The parenting books painted a picture of smart, communicative babies and mindless, limitless joy, but he knew they were lying to him. So he wrote his own book. The Poo Bomb: True Tales of Parental Terror recounts, in a no-punches-pulled style, the first year of life of Cordelia, Jeff's freshly hatched, gooey human girl. The first year of parenthood isn't about joy or fulfillment. It is about menial labor, wiping up human waste, and marking time until the kid is old enough to run and play and thank you for its life. Jeff chronicles the journey through the morass of year one week by week. Rich with irreverent honesty and humor, The Poo Bomb is the reality show of parenting books: It reflects what most parents have sometimes guiltily felt about their not-so-delightful bundles of joy.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction

272 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2005

Reviews

[Francis Kayiwa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I mean thoroughly enjoy this book. Prior to becoming a parental unit I devoured all manner of books which frightened me. Nay, TERRIFIED ME. I mean I knew I was ill-qualified, I knew I was ill-equipped and I knew I had a challenge. I consulted other young parents and that was worse UNTIL I accidentally stumbled into Jeff Vogel's blog. At the time he was writing infrequent posts about parenting. He didn't make it seem easy "no I wasn't looking for an easy solution!" but he made me a believer that I can actually be a parent and manage not to raise a serial killer (yes these are the standards to follow!)

I recommend this book to any new parent. I REALLY recommend this book to a new parent who is a nerd.

[Erin R · Rating 4 out of 5]

A techie guy's take on the first child. Written in a sarcastic, pseudo-scientific, journal-like fashion, this book had me snickering and wishing I were witty enough to write like that.

[B. · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Poo Bomb: True Tales of Parental Terror by Jeff Vogel was super funny. It follows a person who has never had dealings with babies up until the point that he has one through his first year of caring for his own. I woke my partner up a couple times laughing while reading it, but it's a strictly one time read only. No re-read value that I can see. Still, it's good for a laugh.

[Jeannie · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book just wasn't for me, not sure if I just couldn't relate or what but I didn't find his "humor" that funny. Just not fun reading this one at all.

[Hava · Rating 2 out of 5]

NOTE: This review originally showed up on my (now defunct) nonfiction book review blog. I read and reviewed this book in August 2008.

*****

I hesitated when I first saw this book doing check-in - it looked funny, on one hand (I sped-read the backside, and it seemed like something my Handsome Older Brother would write, quite frankly) but on the other hand, “Poo Bomb”? Seriously? That was pretty crude and yucky, and I don’t tend to like a crude sense of humor.

But in the end, I picked up and brought home The Poo Bomb: True Tales of Parental Terror by Jeff Vogel, and I did read it. I ended the book much the same way that I started it: With mixed feelings.

Yes, there were some pretty funny spots, but overall, I just didn’t appreciate the swearing or the crude sense of humor. I honestly wish I hadn’t picked it up. I almost didn’t review it on here (now I have to actually claim that I read this book!) but I finally decided in the end that I needed to review it, just so that others could decide for themselves.

It’s a 921, which means it’s an autobiography. Jeff Vogel chronicles the first year of his daughter’s life in a journal - week by week, he goes through what she learned to do and what funny things (he thinks) happened that week (like the Poo Bomb diaper, or her spitting up on other people, etc). Even being childless like I am, I could relate to some of it, and I laughed pretty hard in parts.

Here’s one section that was particularly funny to me, mostly because basically the same thing has happened to my husband and I multiple times:

George and Sharon Vogel - My Parents

My parents. Good, decent people. Who wanted grandchildren. A lot. I soon realized that we had to be very careful talking to them. Actual conversation:

Me: Mom, we got great news.
Mom: Mariann is pregnant!
Me: Uhhh, no. We got a new bedroom set.

~Page xvii of The Poo Bomb

Yeah, I definitely relate.

I do have to say, I feel really sorry for the daughter. When she grows up and people find out that her father wrote a book about her as a baby, forget Prom or Homecoming or anything else remotely sociable. No guy is going to want to go out with the “Poo Bomb Girl.” Lots of pity there.

There are simply funnier people out there (like Dave Barry) and certainly less crude books out there for you to enjoy. I would say that the average person ought to skip this one.

In the end, The Poo Bomb only gets 2 out of 5 stars from me.

Hava

[Derek · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've followed the writings of Jeff Vogel since the days of the Scorched Earth Party (if you have to ask, don't ask). He meshes an acutely clear-eyed view of the world with a humor based on outrageously misanthropic / sociopathic statements that one has to either belly laugh or chuckle worriedly whilst dialing Socal Services.

The book is unfortunately not far removed from the original short blog entries, and while this gives an immediacy and rawness to the writing--he really did write this or that just after cleaning up a particularly juicy poop or after some exceptionally bizarre thought crossed his parentally sleep-deprived mind--in book form it comes off as unpolished and a bit repetitive in small details.

It is refreshing, however, to encounter a writer so ambivalent about parenthood, and who by his own admission is not very good at it. He repeats ad nauseum that parenthood turns its victims into slightly demented recluses, condemned to at least a year of unrewarding care for a helpless and mostly-unresponsive human being.

Make that 'refreshing' and 'slightly depressing'.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've already read bits and pieces of this book, long before I got pregnant. It was recommended by a couple of friends to expectant parents, so I bought this for my sister and read a few pages. I have just finished it. Vogel will certainly not win any Father of the Year Awards, but he is honest, funny and I seriously find myself agreeing with a lot of his thoughts on babies. They are dopey (adorably dopey) and it's meant in the most loving of ways. Torturing babies in the name of being a good parent is fun! (Though, currently, I do that in the name of being a good aunt.) The book does get old after a while, since we all know that babies don't do anything for a good portion of the first year of their life, but it's true stuff that every parent has to deal with. And, honestly, not everyday is going to be a day that everything is all sunshine and roses. No sleep sucks, poop sucks, vomit sucks! :-) I can't wait!

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Poo Bomb by Jeff Vogel isn't going to win any book awards, let alone any parenting book awards. What it is is a funny sarcastic take on parenting that will either have you rolling on the floor laughing, or picking up the phone to call Child Services to take this guy's kid away. Having previously read much of the book on his web site before he was a big author, I didn't find a whole lot new in the book, but it was still entertaining. You can still read the archives on his web site if you look hard enough, but if you're really that interested, go ahead and buy the book. It's funny.

[Eva-Marie Nevarez · Rating 1 out of 5]

This did nothing for me. At all. I was expecting this to be pretty funny but I honestly think all the humor was used up on the description. I might have chuckled slightly twice in about 100 pages. So I gave up.
I'm not very hard to make laugh. I don't easily take offense. I love the subject, because let's face it, babies are very easy to make fun of. But Vogel tried entirely too hard here.
The saddest thing of all is that I got the impression that Vogel is a humorous man. I think if he had sat back and let it flow this would have been so funny - but instead he was thinking and trying far too hard and it came out, instead of flowing, stilted and too heavily worded. :(

[Twisted Haus Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I worked for a parenting magazine for 12 years, which required a great deal of reviewing books and wares. This one was at the top of my parenting book lists. Disclaimer: I don't have children of my own, but were I considering to reproduce this book may very well have brought that yearning to a screeching halt.

Vogel is uproariously funny in this field guide to parenting that...okay, so maybe it's not really a how-to so much as it is a memoir of all of the hilarious, gross and touching moments of parenthood. Even so, I recommend this book to breeders or not - it's truly that funny.

[Meaghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not having kids myself, I don't know much about babies and don't read parenting books, but this is probably one of the most unsentimental ever written. The author loves and cares for his infant daughter while cheerfully admitting she's a "ten-pound sack of butter and sticks." I found the book very amusing, chuckled many times and even laughed out loud a few times. It's not only parents who will love this.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely some amusing parts, but it felt a little disjointed. Recently found out it was a collection of online journal entries, so that explains some of the redundancy between different chapters / weeks. Still an enjoyable read, since Jeff says many of the things we as parents are all thinking, but social rules don't let us say in public :)

[Sharon Delarose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I gave this book as a gift to a young couple who just had their first baby. I had no idea how it would be received as it is not your traditional new-baby gift.

They LOVED it! They laughed until they cried, and simply raved about it. The Poo Bomb offers a humorous look at parenthood in its true form. I'm not even a parent and I enjoyed reading it. The book is THAT good.

[Nichole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm giving this five stars because i really have no complaints about it. It was an amusing read as Vogel describes the first year of being a dad and all the gruesomeness that goes along with it. He has valid points throughout the book of why or why not to have kids. Not a book for just anyone to read though.. must have a sense of humor that can handle poop talk and cynicism.

[Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not for everyone, but my dry, sarcastic, and cynically humored brain quite enjoyed it. While most of the baby books I leafed through were more of the "do this, don't do that" variety, Vogel completely craps on all that and keeps it simple while using his unique perspective to derive humor and knowledge from the dark and unsavory places of raising a child for the first year.

[Ryan Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I had thought expected parenting to be day upon day of idyllic bliss, I would have hated this book. Vogel is honest, disrespectful and hilarious. But don't touch it if you think your children are perfect, or expect others to think it.

[Susie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining and quick...but sometimes just a little too mean. This guy is either a giant asshole or trying hard to be one to sell his book. I don't like to stereotype, but this may be more for men than women. My guy friend definitely liked it more than I did.

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read this one as a parent of young kiddos. It should've resounded with me, but I didn't find his humor funny at all. He spent the whole book complaining about his kid in an annoying not-funny way. I put it down.

[Stacy Bolt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Say what you will, but this book got me through many a late night and early morning with sanity intact. He is one of us.

[Julianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious! These parents are a bit strange, but so much of what he talks about rings true. Just you wait!

[Hollie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Because with all the joy, love, and fun, comes the doubt, desperation, and exhaustion. This book helped me feel not so alone and helped me laugh through the craziness of being a first-time parent.

[Dean Madonia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious. The only book that actually tells you like it is. Not for women. Ever.

[Alex Hogan]

A funny and direct commentary on the first year of parenthood by a game developer who's blog I read.