Never judge a book by its cover is a lesson that I had learnt about books by the time I was twelve (it took me a little longer to figure it out about boys), but which still trips me up now and then.
“In a Fix” tripped me up in a big way: The back cover described it as ‘bright, fizzy, sexy and amusing.’
I was in a bookshop, in the mood for a slightly romancy, paranormal fantasy and this one had an interesting premise, no vampires or werewolves in sight, instead our main character is a shapeshifter and this caught my interest. The final line of the description mentioned Vikings, so my interest was firmly engaged. At this point I looked at the main cover which had a confident looking young woman staring challengingly at the reader with a HISTORICALLY ACCURATE VIKING HELMET at her feet! I was sold – an actual spangenhelm instead of something silly with horns. The cover art is by Craig White and the cover art is great, sadly the story does not live up to the cover.
First of all the main character, Ciel, is a dependant, annoying, winy moron. She complains constantly that the men in her life (all are of whom are of course, stunningly gorgeous and obsessed by said moron) coddle her and spy on her and interfere with her job. I can’t really blame them as she is a dependent idiot but she seems to be the only occupation they have, which is disturbing. I know she is meant to be funny, I know the ‘girls empty dishwashers boys have careers’ stories are meant to be humorous but I found them insultingly sexist and they leave me cold.
Next problem: There is almost no shape shifting, the premise that interested me in the book to begin with. Shifting mostly occurs only if Ciel is pretending to be someone else and it is usually a precursor to her kissing someone. Occasionally one or another of the multiple gorgeous male shapeshifters shifts into a different male form (also stunningly gorgeous), with the sole apparent intent being to kiss Ciel who in any case kisses him in his normal shape as well. Bewildered much? Yeah, me too.
Just as I was considering giving up (and would have if it had been a library book) Gotland in Sweden is mentioned, and Visby! I was there last year and absolutely I adored it, so I hung in there until Ciel reached Visby. Well, one of the most lovely places I have ever visited is barely mentioned, hardly described at all, it could have been anywhere since we spent the whole time in Ciels mind, (which I have to agree with the cover description, is pretty fizzy). In fairness, one of the very rare paragraphs which talks about anything except Ciel does describe a Visby sunset – some of the most stunning sunsets I have seen anywhere got a paragraph. Yay.
So, yes, where are the Vikings? Good question, in fact there are no Vikings. The author probably does not know this however as she does not seem to realise that twenty first century Swedish men are not Vikings, they are Swedes. We do visit the annual week long, medieval festival that Visby hosts and in which Vikings can usually be seen. Unfortunately the festival is pretty much ignored by the narrative except as a reason to dress Ciel and her Swedish captors in tenth century garb and I don’t see why she bothered, it was barely a plot element.
The main problem I had with this book is that without liking Ciel the story is impossible to like. The author clearly adores her and the whole story is %100 Ciel, there is not a single page, barely a single paragraph that is not all about her or seen from her depressingly self absorbed, childishly idiotic view point. At one point I wondered if this was meant to be a young adult book because it has high levels of immaturity throughout.
Billed as “a sexy romp” it completely disappoints. I found it about as sexy as date rape. Males consistently condescending to and demeaning women are not sexy to my way of thinking even if the female is a moron and deserves to be condescended to. The repetitious kissing, wondering if she should have kissed him, wondering if she should kiss someone else, wondering what he thought about her kissing him... It is all awkwardly childish, at times quite prudish, and not remotely sexy. This adds to the YA feel though most YA books are much, much more adept at describing sex.
I sound like a critical bitch don’t I? Well here is a sop; the author is exceptionally skilled at character creation and description. She has a deft, light ability to quickly sketch a character which remains distinct in the mind of the reader and that is no small skill. Side characters with barely a mention were instantly recognisable in the text. And I did not enjoy this book and did not read a lot of it at a time so that is pretty impressive. Sadly this is not enough to make Ciel bearable or the book enjoyable. I resent the $18.95 spent on this novel; I hope some of it makes it back to Craig White who did the cover art, the only part of this book worth paying for.