Olvidese Del Divorcio: Salve SU Matrimonio Sin Necesidad de Separarse

by Michele Weiner-Davis

Según las estadísticas, la tasa de divorcios mundial es cada vez más alta porque muchas personas recurren al divorcio después de la primera pelea, o simplemente se cansan de intentar y deciden que la mejor decisión es acabar con el matrimonio. Lo cierto es que pocos se detienen a pensar y analizar las consecuencias del divorcio, no sólo emocionales sino económicas, y a reflexionar sobre el esfuerzo y el tiempo que han invertido en la relación. Aunque Michele Weiner-Davis admite que hace algunos años al oír los casos dramáticos de parejas que dormían en habitaciones distintas, discutían todos los días o hablaban poco, les habría recomendado a sus pacientes que se divorciaran después de mirar más de cerca la problemática descubrió que, en la mayoría de los casos, existen razones muy fuertes para tratar de hacer todo lo posible para salvar el matrimonio, tales como el compromiso emocional y económico, el trauma posterior al divorcio y el efecto que éste tiene sobre los hijos. En Olvídese del divorcio , Michele Weiner-Davis les ofrece a las parejas consejos muy útiles para que permanezcan juntas, resume las creencias más comunes que llevan a la conclusión de que el divorcio es la única solución y desmitifica la idea de que la raíz de los problemas está en el pasado. Como este revolucionario programa busca que cada persona reconozca y cambie sus patrones de comportamiento, es eficaz incluso si sólo uno de los miembros de la pareja aplica los consejos de la doctora Weiner-Davis. ¡El hecho de que el 85% de sus pacientes hayan reportado una mejoría en la relación en el lapso de tres a dieciocho semanas es una garantía!

Genres: Marriage, Relationships, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Business

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1992

About the author

Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW is an internationally renowned relationship expert, best-selling author, marriage therapist, and professional speaker who specializes in helping people change their lives and improve important relationships. Among the first in her field to courageously speak out about the pitfalls of unnecessary divorce, Michele has been active in spearheading the now popular movement urging couples to make their marriages work and keep their families together. She is the author of seven books including her best-selling books, DIVORCE BUSTING: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again (Simon & Schuster), and THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE: A Couple's Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido (Simon & Schuster).

- excerpted from her website

Reviews

[Dan Lawton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has some really good tips on conflict management and changing behaviors and alternative ways to argue. However, my complaint is the same exact things. There are tons of examples of dealing with conflict and how to argue more effectively, but there was too much concentration on that, I thought. There are other marital issues that don't involve constant bickering which this book failed to address in as much depth as the conflict was. What I did really enjoy, however, was that the author used very specific examples from her practice as a therapist which really helped to put things into perspective. Overall, this is one of the better marriage books that I've read so far. Recommended for all married folks.

[Princess · Rating 5 out of 5]

A therapist friend of mine recommended this book to me and I found it absolutely fascinating. Weiner-Davis delves into a counseling technique called Solution Based Therapy. Rather than the typical pschoanalytic techniques of delving into one's past to find a solution to one's current problems, the therapist instead works with the clients to come up with solutions to the problems that are happening now. Makes much more sense to me and takes a fraction of the time of traditional therapy.

Weiner-Davis shares case histories from a variety of clients who are going through the trauma of a marriage in peril. Rather than suggest that the couple's difficulties are insurmountable (which, at first glance, may seem to be the case), she finds different techniques for partners to try, either together or apart (if there is only one partner interested in therapy). Even one person changing something changes the dynamic of the relationship.

There is so much useful information in this book. I love reading case histories and I like how the techniques seem simple but are still incredibly effective. I'm not saying that the work is easy by any means. It involves reflection and change on one's own part, but if it saves a marriage, then any and all work is completely worth the effort. I like that Weiner-Davis is concerned with saving as many marriages as she can. The devastation of each divorce is far-reaching. It affects not only the two people in the broken relationship, but children, siblings, parents, friends and so many more.

[Taury]

Work related

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome, helpful book, good advice for serious marriage issues or just wanting to improve your marriage. This would be my go to book for any marital issue.

[Patty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an awesome book even if there is no mention of divorce in your marriage. It helps you think of how to solve problems instead of continually fighting over the same stuff. I learned a lot about how men think and how you can better your relationship. I'm always looking for ways to make my man and marriage happier, even though it's pretty darn good as it is. If you can prevent some arguments, why not do it?

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every person married needs to read this book! It busts the myth that divorce will solve your problems and gives you fast ways to turn things around. I love that the approach works even if your spouse isn't into reading self-help books or even willing to try new things to jump start the relationship. You alone have the power to bring about change in relationships, no matter what the other person does. Think about that for a second-- it's powerful.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books on marriage I have ever read! I would highly recommend it for anyone in a marriage, no matter how good or bad it is. We all eventually go through rough patches, and it's good to be reminded that no matter how bad things look, they can be turned around if you're willing to work hard enough.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has some really great advice for people going through divorce or separating. The only problem is most people read this book after it's too late. Michele gives lots of real life examples and I found I could relate much of it back to my own relationship. I don't know that I will save my marriage. But if not i will be much better equipped to handle the next one.

[Ramón Nogueras Pérez · Rating 5 out of 5]

El mejor libro sobre terapia y mejora de relaciones de pareja que he leído nunca. Todo el mundo debería leer y aplicar las técnicas contenidas en el manual. Ha cambiado mi modo de entender la terapia de pareja por completo.

[Ed]

I stumbled across this book a couple hours after a friend told me she and her husband were going to get a divorce, which made me want to give this a read. I'm glad I did. I think there's a lot of practical advice contained, not just for those who are on the brink of divorce. My own marriage is not in danger, but I think that if I put into practice some of the tips contained within, it will be stronger.

[Vvvvv · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh. I feel like this book could help in cases where you have a surface-level difference of opinions, temperaments, values. And in those cases, this book is as good as any at nudging you in a different direction, to change your everyday habits a little and achieve some results that help you make your relationship better. There are probably other books which would help you achieve the same results.

[Stephanie G · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book covers soooo much of what my husband and I have been going through. We have been in marriage counseling for a few months (which absolutely helps), but this book gave me a lot of suggestions of actions I can do to make immediate improvements. It’s still to be seen if we can be saved, but at least I now feel like I have some new ways to make tangible changes and improvements.

[Fred Donaldson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Has not worked for me. :-(

[Wes Kronberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of excellent advice in this book, I recommend it to anyone having marital issues

[Nicole Gowan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hard to get through. I really enjoyed and related to her book on infidelity but I felt like this one didn't do it for me.

[Silk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, I know, I know, I haven't even married so why would I be buying a book on NOT getting divorced right? Welllll, I believe an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. :) It's quite a great book and I figure better to have the skills in place before you ever get married. :)lol P.S. One of the reasons why I think this book is such a winner is that it's about focusing on results rather than suggesting you focus on your problems. I think far too many "therapists" go nowhere but down by making clients focus on their problems all the time. :)

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a great practical guide on specific actions that can be taken to work on making a marriage better. The Solution Based Therapy technique is more user friendly. It's a great resource for any marriage whether or not you are contemplating divorce. It shows divorce is not the answer and really lays out how even one person can affect major change in the overall dynamic. My therapist recommended it and I am so glad he did.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this a few years ago when it was recommended to me as a marriage-building book, even though I never contemplated divorce. Excellent book for all married couples, especially those who are struggling. If you know anyone thinking about divorce, tell them to read this book first. Divorce is not the answer and this book will show you why. My marriage is much better for having read this book.

[Lindsey Orlando]

Recommended in Switch: How to Change Things when Change is Hard: "Anyone in a relationship can benefit from this book by a practitioner of solutions-focused therapy."

Switch discussed Michele Weiner-Davis' techniques both in the context of marriage and other contexts (i.e. helping a "problem child" at school to become more engaged in class and happier at school). Very interesting.

[Mary Karpel-Jergic · Rating 4 out of 5]

Offers techniques to staying together which do not require an analysis of why problems happen. Bit like CBT - Solution orientated brief therapy (SBS) treats the symptom with different behaviour developed by thinking differently.

[Alex Giurgea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Una din cartile scoala in terapia scurta de cuplu orientata pe solutii. Descrie intr-un mod argumentat stiintific, metode de rupere a dinamicilor dezadaptative in cuplu in viziunea terapiilor scurte. Un must read de catre orice psihoterapeut.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

in this day and age of divorce this author is pro-marrage! Yeah for kids divrce hurts them the most. I love her simple advice.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is excellent! not just for people thinking about divorce but for anyone who wants to be happier or improve any relationship. GET IT NOW! READ IT TODAY!

[Stanley Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book that anyone can read whether they're maried or not

[Naomi · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is your typical self help book. I didn't find the information unique at all and it was something, in my opinion, that couples, if they really tried could figure out on their own.

[Elinor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very practical.

[Elizabeth]

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard biblio

[Mary Rigney · Rating 1 out of 5]

If it were only this simple. Some advice is helpful when it comes to getting ones self respect back.

[Susan Kerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Married or single, this book has wonderful advice to make relationships succeed.

[Kylene Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

May have read too late but still worth reading. Who knows what the future holds.