Easter Everywhere: A Memoir

by Darcey Steinke

In this critically beloved and piercing memoir, Darcey Steinke, a minister's daughter, recounts her lifelong struggle to find religion. Though wide-eyed and accepting as a girl, Steinke left the faith in her teenage years; scene by breathtaking scene, she vividly describes the angst, embarrassment, uncertainty, and joy of her decades of on-and-off piety. Emotional, wise, and beautifully crafted, Easter Everywhere is a rare literary accomplishment, a feat of storytelling and personal insight.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Religion, Biography Memoir, Spirituality, Literature, American

242 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 3, 2007

About the author

Darcey Steinke is an American author and educator known for her evocative novels and thoughtful nonfiction. She has written five novels, including Up Through the Water, Suicide Blonde, Jesus Saves, Milk, and Sister Golden Hair. She is also the author of the spiritual memoir Easter Everywhere and Flash Count Diary, a meditation on menopause and natural life. Her fiction often explores the intersection of the spiritual and the physical, with two of her novels, Up Through the Water and Jesus Saves, selected as New York Times Notable Books of the Year. Steinke has contributed essays and articles to publications such as The New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, Vogue, and The Guardian, and co-edited the essay collection Joyful Noise with Rick Moody. In addition to her writing career, she has taught creative writing at institutions like Princeton University, Columbia University, Barnard College, and the American University of Paris. Originally from Oneida, New York, and the daughter of a Lutheran minister, Steinke now lives in Brooklyn with her husband, journalist Michael Hudson, and their daughter. A former guitarist for the band Ruffian, she continues to explore the connections between art, spirit, and human experience through her work.

Reviews

[Evan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ascribe my deficiencies of rating and review to my deficiencies of not finishing...

As always, I have no criticism of Steinke's writing. She's top-notch there.

That said, I've had this author memoir checked out from the library for about eight weeks now and it's due back, but each little bite-sized delve into the dreamy ponderings of Steinke amid the bland and sad milieu of spartan suburban religious family life has not grabbed me, not pulled me in and not compelled me forward. I can see where Steinke has derived much of the material for her novels from this life -- and for that, I have respect, and I think that's where the ponderings best lie. Not even the descent/ascent into teen sluttiness as a rebellion against the oppressive world of her childhood is sustaining my interest, and that pretty much tells me it's time to bail and get on with things.

kr/eg '19

[Marcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

The last two sections of this book are so good, but it's a slow build. Steinke's writing is always engaging, but early on it's not clear where she's going. In this way, the structure of the book mirrors the experience that is ultimately its subject: Steinke's desire for God and search for a spiritual center in her life.

March 20204: Just finished reading Easter Everywhere for the fourth time and bumped it up from four to five stars. This book delivers deeper resonances with every reading. I don't even think it's that much of a slow build any more; the last few chapters are just stunning and heavy with insight. Along with M Train , a top comfort read.

[Bob Brinkmeyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nothing comes easy in Steinke's fiction. Characters struggle to find some meaning, some sense of the sacred, in lives that are often filled with heartache and trouble, physical and/or psychological. So, too, with Steinke herself, at least as she presents herself in this penetrating and illuminating memoir. Steinke's childhood is marked by both a haunting sense of religious mystery (her father was a Lutheran minister) as well as a just-as-haunting sense of life's difficulties (her parents' marriage was rocky, Darcey stuttered and faced social ridicule, among other things). And then comes the predictable rebellion after she leaves home for college and adulthood--sex, drugs, and the glamorous, and all the byways to which these pursuits lead. That's a good chunk of the book.

Once she settles into marriage and motherhood (and later divorce), the self-reflection becomes serious and rich, as Steinke struggles to understand a pull toward the spiritual that she realizes she has always possessed, even when she is and was at her most promiscuous and unruly. As in fact she comes to see, it is actually when she is at her most promiscuous and unruly that her spiritual longings are most in play. As one of her religious guides counsels her (in words which Steinke comes to accept), "The ambivalent parts of your life, the painful parts, Darcey, these are the holy parts. This is where God resides."

Any reader of Steinke's fiction will find this statement helpful in understanding her characters' wayward journeys toward the sacred. And Steinke's journeys as well, since religious certainty in her mind signals the frivolous, the easy way. "I am lucky if I can believe in the resurrection ten minutes a month," Steinke admits. "I have doubt. But I have faith as well. My doubt funnels my faith. To me doubt connects to the mystery of God much more than certainty. The finite cannot contain the infinite."

This is a powerful book and a powerful statement of faith--but not the type of faith you hear about in Sunday school.

[Melinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Steinke, the daughter of a Lutheran minister and a disappointed former beauty queen, writes much in the same vein as Anne Lamott. This spiritual memoir details her sometimes strange childhood, her wild days as a drugging, drinking and sexually promiscuous young writer, and her more sober and anxiety-filled years as a single mother. Steinke's writing is worth reading for passages like this one: "After hours of reading, I'd feel my loneliness hovering like an aura around me, though after a month or two I realized that my loneliness, an empty and wretched vessel, was filling up as though wine were being poured into a crude and rudmentary cup." This really is a spiritual memoir about seeking a spark of the divine within one's self. Steinke's is not a completed journey, but one in progress. She finds peace when she is realizes that she will never be certain of many things, but believes that God has a purpose for her life nevertheless. She confesses: "I am lucky if I can believe in the resurrection ten minutes a month. I have doubt. But I have faith as well. My doubt funnels my faith. To me doubt connects to the mystery of God much more than certainty. The finite cannot contain the infinite." Although I didn't agree with all of the theology, many of Steinke's questions seemed familiar. It's good to hear someone asking them out loud.

[Alison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is beautifully written. All the way through, I kept thinking, "Every single sentence is like little poem." But beyond the sentence level, it's so compelling, too.

Thankfully, my own Lutheran upbringing was a happy one, so my connection to the author's childhood is minimal. But like her, I struggle as an adult to find faith. I liked that Steinke's search for sacredness wasn't just capped off with a perfect, pat ending, but an honest and open discussion about how she still deals with doubt and doesn't try to deny it.

Somehow she manages to bridge the childhood half of the memoir and the adult part in a way that feels totally natural, even though she skips big chunks of time. It's like, if someone were to have recommend this book to me, I'd have thought, "Hmm, self-involved much? Writer goes on journey to find spiritual self...ho-hum." But somehow instead of "woe is me" or "look how great I am at defining my own religion" or something, I felt totally compelled by the voice, tone, and descriptions of the little girl's life at the beginning, and just wanted to stay with her and see her find some kind of peace.

[fpk · Rating 2 out of 5]

4 stars for writing, 2 for content.

This memoir was a quick, interesting read and was well written. The author is a writer, and she does write well.She writes with honesty and lucidity which I do appreciate. She's written other books, novels, which I will not be reading.

I liked the beginning part of her memoir here more than the second half.

One of the reasons I read memoirs is because I want to be inspired. I want to get a glimpse of people's courage. Of strength to overcome trials in life. I didn't find those things here.

Part of what makes me give only two stars for content is that I found Steinke somewhat dislikable. She is a little too goth for me, for one thing. I found it hard to relate to her crazy relationships and her judgement when it comes to friends and partners. She reminds me of an old childhood exfriend who was moody, phony and unreliable.

I wasn't sure whether to be encouraged at the end. She seems to find her faith again but it is unclear where she stands.

[Elyssa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir is reminiscent of Anne Lamott's book Traveling Mercies, but not as good. Still, it is worth reading and it is a fast read. Both authors are grappling with questions about religion. Darcey Steinke is the daughter of a minister and her memoir covers various eras of her life with the unifying theme of spiritual exploration. There are no easy answers, but her questions and attempts for reconciliation are interesting.

My criticism is that she doesn't provide enough depth about the people in her life and some events that occurred, i.e. her parent's divorce and then her own. I wish she had written in greater detail and with more complexity. Instead, she too often employed a melodramatic tone that seems shallow and annoying.

Again, it's worth checking out, especially if you are interested in spiritual exploration/development.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am ambivalent about this book. She writes beautifully -- I love how she describes the birth of her daughter who "emerged through me like a lit match makes a hole in paper." It is a memoir and I admire how she can capture a whole era in her life in one paragraph.
On the other hand, she talks a lot about her spirituality and/or lack thereof, and she is such a Debbie Downer all around that it left me feeling kind of bleak. Anne Lamott she's not.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to give this book four stars, because the writing is incredible, but I was troubled by some of the conclusions Steinke arrived at. Still, a powerful book about one person's faith journey.

[S · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yeah. You really should be interested in Christianity and religious rituals if you read this. Otherwise, you keep waiting for it to get better and it never does.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a spiritual memoir from a woman who is still trying to figure it out. The author struggled with the faith she grew up with. The struggles don't stop and although she remains Christian she searches for her place in the faith. The book has no pat answers rather it shows someone living the questions.

[Joe · Rating 4 out of 5]

For admirers of Sister Golden Hair, the first part of this memoir will serve as a valuable companion; for admirers of Milk, the second half will likewise work. I found Steinke's musings in that the second half intriguing.

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm glad I read it, even though parts of it made me sad for people who spend so much of their life hunting for meaning. Along those same lines, I'm glad to get a glimpse into someone else's journey; if not to completely understand it, then to be mindful of their perspective.

[Nelson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Came to this from having read and admired a couple of Steinke's earlier novels. Throughout it felt as if the writing kicked up a notch whenever Steinke turned to her parents or her daughter. Her acute observations and canny way with a metaphor occurred most often in passages about them. The writing about her own religious quest as an adult, particularly in the final chapters, felt a bit drier. Perhaps the adage--tell a dream, lose a reader--also applies to religious epiphanies (or the lack thereof). One's encounters with the divine, over time, have to be amongst the most peculiar and individual of experiences. Writing about them in a way that is true to one's experience is no guarantee they will resonate for a reader, unless of course, they have undergone similar rites of passage. Which is perhaps another way of saying that for a certain class of PK Lutheran wild-child readership, this will go down like the consubstantiated Eucharist; other religious seekers' mileage may vary.

[Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

This brisk memoir was generally well-written and condensed, yet I felt it was too short for its various topics and thus at times awkward. Some transitions could’ve been handled better – such as getting from childhood years into adult. What struck me was her passages on dealing with a stutter, and childhood struggles within a dysfunctional family. The tone was a bit melancholy, but also quite honest. The pages on drinking, and sexual exploration and promiscuity were direct and open. On its big theme of religion and church, it does require a knowledge of Christianity to really appreciate her discussions on the topic. But her views and grapples with faith and spiritual/religious tenets in general can be understood universally, I think. The book tends to lose its momentum towards the end, but otherwise it is an easy read, relate-able and interesting for finding meaning in poor choices, conflicting beliefs and a tough upbringing.

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It took me two days to read. One of those books that I didn't want to put down. For a memoir, it's pretty short, but definitely touches on the most important moments in Darcey Steinke's life - growing up with a Lutheran pastor for a father and a depressed mother who leaves the family to endure shock therapy but never recovers from the disappointment of what has become her life with her husband and children, Darcey's questions and child-like understanding of God, her turn away from God as she sees the decisions of her parents and their lack of attention toward her (her father spent most of his time taking care of other people while neglecting to care for his own family), and her journey as a single mother trying to once again understand God and faith. Very interesting. Very well-written.

[Erica]

I read Darcey Steinke's novel Jesus Saves so long ago that I have zero recollection of what it's about, but I must have liked it well enough to add her memoir, Easter Everywhere, to my list and I'm glad I did. I'm not a religious or even a very spiritual person, but I do think a lot about self-improvement and there was a lot in Steinke's memoir of her faith that resonated with me. At one point, she's having these sort of therapy sessions with a nun and after a long recitation of her problems the nun tells her she just wants to hold on to her problems as hard as she can, and that it's going to keep her from ever solving them. I do that sometimes, and this book was full of a lot of casual insight like that that made me think more about my own life.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up because I recognized the author's name, but couldn't place it. I took it home because of the cover art. Steinke, the author of four novels, writes about her upbringing as the daughter of a faded beauty queen and a Lutheran minister. She takes the reader through her childhood and into her spiritual seeking as an adult. As someone raised Catholic, who moved away from the Church, I am always interested in the spiritual lives of rational seeming people. This book gave me the opportunity to reflect on my own beliefs. Steinke has edited a collection of essays on the New Testament with Rick Moody that I might read now.

[Joanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was hard for me to read, because the author is joyful about her childhood faith, even in her limited understanding of it, and then her family falls apart and she makes a series of very bad choices. Those choices were mostly avoidable if she'd been coming from a more stable and happy place. I kept reading, hoping that the title indicated that she would find resurrection and peace again. She did, but that last third of the book just doesn't capture a sense of what she's thinking and feeling as well. Maybe she needs more distance from which to reflect.

[Selina · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a memoir of what it is like to be the daughter or a God-fearing evangelist. The author is only in her 20s and seems pretty screwed up by it. Later on when the books takes on a desperate housewife tone. It's pure self-pitying misery at times, not the most uplifing read although I did feel like writing to the author and telling her to cheer up, at least she isn't starving to death. She lives in America for goodness sakes, just because her father is a minister doesn't mean she doesn't have freedom to worship any way she chooses.

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting contribution to the ever-expanding genre of preacher's kids' memoirs. Steinke (author of "Suicide Blonde" and other writings) faces a challenging childhood in and out of parsonages and an adulthood riddled wit self- and religious doubt, confusion and depression. She makes her way to a more mature faith and life with the assistance of the motley faithful, from conservative Caribbean immigrants to an intriguing nun as spiritual director. Her life stands as testimony to human resiliency and the validity of faith, believed, doubted and lived in many ways.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

read a couple of steinke's novels. disturbing, i have always thought they were good but i have wondered more about her. she clearly was interested in christianity, seemed like she had some bad experiences as a christian. she also edited a volume with rick moody called the new testment where authors talked about a book of the bible. she does have a mixed history with christianity. so great to hear her talking about her life, i liked her memoir quite a bit.

[Weaveaire · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book because I saw an article in a magazine that Elizabeth Gilbert recommended it. I think she must have some vested interest in selling as many copies as she is also quoted on the book jacket about what a GREAT book it is. I finally stopped reading near the end as I felt I was slogging through hip deep mud. I didn't find anything spiritual or enlightening about it but rather "and then I did this and then this happened." UGH!

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I devoured this book in a matter of hours. Steinke tells her story from age 3 to the present day, where she lives in Brooklyn as a single parent. I was so intrigued by her unique metaphors, the theme of her spiritual quest, and the clarity with which she can see herself that I couldn't put the book down. I'll be recommending it to my girlfriends.

[Emily]

One of Elizabeth Gilbert's recommendations. That's enough of an endorsement for me. EG says "A deeply intelligent memoir about how growing up in a family of ministers affected Steinke's own search for divinity and faith." I always appreciate fresh perspectives on spiritual growth, so this is on my list!

[Marsena Adams-Dufresne · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well-written and engaging memoir. She's had a tough life--not uncommon for preacher's kids--trying to come to terms with a stutter, a broken family, and a confused spiritual upbringing. The tone struck me as sad, especially at the end, when Steinke reaches hard for resolution to her spiritual struggles, but I'm glad I read it.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fast read about a woman whose father is a minister but whose faith is sporadic and filled with doubt. I agree with my friend Emily that the author's searching never really led to anything substantial, so in that way, she's probably like many of us doubters and didn't have anything new to share or teach us. Nevertheless, it's an enjoyable memoir, full of stories and observations.

[ben · Rating 3 out of 5]

the journey of a woman through faith that ends up still inside christian tradition but never comes to conclusions. she does not try to be funny or smart. she just shares her story. her views would not be accepted even into most liberal christian traditions but her belief of discovering god within yourself is close to my own. a longing to find divinity is also shared.

[Kshappert]

This is a very reflective and poignant true story about a woman's struggle to reconcile her faith after a difficult childhood torn between her tenuously religious father and her former beauty queen mother. As a young adult, she engages in fairly destructive behavior and relationships and struggles to regain faith on her own terms. An honest and interesting read.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought the first half of this book was decent enough to keep on reading...the second half lost my attention in a hurry. I think the book failed to be any different than other memoirs about someone growing up in a very religious family, falling away in teenage years, then 'finding' themselves in later life. It just didn't catch me into the story.