Shakespeare My Butt!: From 'Marsupial Elvis' to 'No Place'... on the Trail of the Pointless Quest

by John Donoghue

A tale of a year in the life of a serial 'pointless project' addict. It contains witty recollections of military service and unorthodox observations on life. It lets us ramble, meander and digress away, discovering non-barking dogs, the secret of excess and places that don't exist.

Genres: Travel, Humor

202 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2005

About the author

John Donoghue has served Queen, King, and Country over forty years in the Royal Navy, British Army, and Police.

He has written five books about his experiences in the constabulary, which have included:

Arresting the bride at her wedding.

Chasing a naked lubed up dog thief.

A royal arrest that never made the headlines.

A woman who complained next door's bees were "stealing her pollen".

An undercover nun... and hundreds more bizarre 999 calls and incidents.

These days, he’s swapped handcuffs for heraldry as a guide at a medieval castle.

His latest book, 'Castles, Crime & Cake: A Policeman's Accidental Guide to History' tells the story of that transition, which also involved obscure long forgotten crimes... and cake.

He also has a dog, Monty, who’s yet to break any known laws, but has taken on the role of farting jester perfectly.


Feel free to follow me on twitter @johndonoghue64

Reviews

[Sheryl Browne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shakespeare My Butt I’ve been neglecting a few things. Personally, I blame John Donoghue. If you doubt how distracting the antics of a front line police officer with a wicked sense of humour can be, check out his reviews. Literally hundreds of people can’t be wrong. Better still, check out Police, Crime & 999 and Police, Lies and Alibis. Both of these books had me crying with laughter. Being a dog-lover and foster mum to a straggle of odd dogs with disabilities ranging from blindness and spinal injuries to missing limbs, I couldn’t resist diving straight into another of his books, Shakespeare My Butt!, which turns around our hero’s first foray into dog-ownership and the arrival in his life of his BFF, Barney. Keen to implement correct dog-training techniques, John’s read the manuals. He’s even created his own list of rules, his Ten Commandments, setting boundaries and reinforcing himself as top dog within the family the dog will see as his ‘pack’. Cue arrival of “rolling, barking, nipping” eating machine that ejects food from one end as fast as it goes in the other. Barney has arrived! He will know his place in the pack hierarchy. He will obey simple, one word commands. Get too verbose and you will confuse him. He’s a dog. Ye-es. No spoilers (I hope) but ‘the surprised’ game in the mornings? The grimace whilst JD and companion search for place name signs? Again, no spoilers, but I am wondering whether the calendar the names would be adorning was actually age appropriate? This is another must-read from Donoghue. A lovely, uniquely witty story of father, daughter (and dog) bonding, with a sprinkling of entertaining historical facts thrown in. Talking of entertainment, how does it work?? The grey elephant thing? I’m still pondering that one.

Would I recommend it? Yes, highly. As usual, John Donoghue had me glued to the pages. The man is pure therapy, I can’t remember laughing so much. I defy anyone, even those with a sense of humour bypass, not to snort wine reading his books. Save time, order a job lot, tuck up and enjoy is my advice.

[Joy Stephenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have seen this book compared to Bill Bryson's and that strikes me as being an accurate way of describing its style. It's a collection of personal anecdotes ranging widely from the author's childhood, to his time in the forces, to expeditions around the North East of England and South Wales. The thread that runs right through the book is the author's acquisition and training of a Labrador puppy. I loved the way he started with lists of rules and by the end obviously adores his doggy companion.
The whole book is full of light-hearted and self-deprecating humour. Great fun read.

[Trevor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this one.

It focuses very much on John getting his dog, Barney, which you've read his previous books (Police, Crime and 999 & Police, Lies and Alibis) you'll know all about.

There are parts of the book where he discusses his family, some have great nicknames, and there's quite a lot about his young daughter - again, it's all good fun, excellent humour and you'll love the "alternative" calendar he sets out to create within the book.

John has told me on Twitter he is writing a new book right now, can't wait!

[Hayley Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a Must read for anyone that Loves a good Giggle. It took me back to my childhood in parts and made me Laugh(which isn't an easy thing to do, with my weird or lacking sense of humor). I WILL be rereading this book and recommending it to everyone. I will say though Do Not read while eating or drinking cos ya just may choke yaselves.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

This had been compared to Marley and Me,which I really liked. I didn't think this was as cute, funny, or good, though. Part of this could be due to the British humor - the local references were lost on me!

[Sunnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A light humorous read. Brain candy

The trials and tribulations of being a first dog owner with entertaining meanders through the author's life with LOTS of bad jokes, which I found funny. Just the thing if you fancy a giggle.

[Lisa Weichert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very well written, great sense of humour. Thoroughly enjoyed