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Why I Didnt Say Anything: The Sheldon Kennedy Story
In 1996, Sheldon Kennedy rocked the insular world of Canadian hockey by announcing that his former minor-league coach, Graham James-the Hockey News 1989 Man of the Year-had sexually abused him more than 300 times. The media portrayed Kennedy as a hero for breaking the code of silence in professional hockey and bringing James to justice. The heroic myth intensified in 1998 when Kennedy announced that he was going to in-line skate from Newfoundland to British Columbia to raise awareness of sexual abuse. The skate raised over $1 million for Canadian Red Cross sexual abuse programs, and Kennedy settled in Calgary with his wife and young daughter. Anyone who has followed hockey is familiar with the story of ex-NHL player Sheldon Kennedy. As one of the most promising hockey talents to emerge from the Canadian minor leagues in the last two decades, Kennedy was destined for hockey greatness. But after he was drafted by the Detroit Red Wings in 1988, he attracted more attention for his off-ice antics than for his contributions to the score sheet. Plagued by rumours of drug and alcohol abuse and a string of injuries, Kennedy drifted from team to team. The happy ending promised by the headlines never materialized. Still haunted by the demons of sexual abuse, Kennedy's life spiralled out of control. He has come forward to tell his story, and the story of coach Graham James, who eventually was released from prison and coached hockey in Europe.
234 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
December 5, 2012
Lesser known than Theoren Fleury's book on the Graham James saga, this is the better one, IMHO. Sheldon was able to tell his story without the need to curse (especially considering that these books should be read by families who are in similar situations with travelling teams), was able to share more of his personal story (which I thought made things harder to read in a way, but much better), and is a great book overall. As a Red Wings fan, I always wondered why Sheldon never turned out to be a great like the Captain, since I saw the potential and the talent to be great in him. Now I see it... thank you to Sheldon Kennedy for the courage to write this book.
March 10, 2019
It's absolutely shocking to read stories like that. It's so obvious what happened to Sheldon – you just have to wonder: how is it possible that nobody did realize the truth (or that everybody kept silent)? Just horrifying and disturbing. Hopefully something like that would not happen anymore these days, because people are much more aware of abuse/harassment, but, unfortunately, I'm not sure about it …
February 1, 2018
This was a truly heartbreaking and horrific story. I cannot give less than five stars to anyone who has the courage to share their story, their pain, and their journey. I can be objective about the writing when someone else is writing ABOUT a story, but when the author is sharing their own story, I fully acknowledge my inability to be objective. My heart broke for Sheldon, and I wish him nothing but health, happiness, and healing in his future. I wish nothing but the most excruciating pain for the horrible, disgusting excuse for a human being who did this to him and MANY others.
November 2, 2021
Sheldon Kennedy is a Canadian hero: the first professional hockey player to come forward and disclose that he endured years of sexual abuse from his junior hockey coach. In doing so, he shattered the idyllic image of homespun prairie hockey dreams. It’s been 25 years since Kennedy, a former NHLer, rocked the hockey world. In the aftermath, Kennedy's courage inspired hundreds of men to come forward with their own stories of abuse and forced Canadians to face the reality that sexual predators take advantage of youngsters' athletic dreams and turn those dreams into lifelong nightmares.
Horrified Canadians were adamant that young hockey players should be protected from predators. Yet a generation later, it’s clear the NHL missed the message.
This week, a report was released revealing that the Chicago Blackhawks did nothing in 2010 when told that one of their coaching staff had sexually assaulted a player who had been called up for the team’s Stanley Cup run and eventual championship victory. Kyle Beach was told it was his own fault. Senior senior management decided any attention could be a distraction from the playoff run. The predator ultimately had his name etched on the Stanley Cup and was allowed to go on to other hockey programs, where he molested other young men.
As fans and media raged on social media about toxic hockey culture in the wake of these revelations, I pulled Sheldon’s 2006 memoir off the shelf and read it with fresh eyes. Why I Didn't Say Anything: The Sheldon Kennedy Story, is heart-wrenching, raw and important. It’s a chilling and powerful book. You can feel the fear as he describes feeling trapped by his coach, who pulled a shotgun out of the closet in the moments after his first advances on the 13-year-old boy were rebuffed.
Kennedy makes no excuses for his train wreck of setbacks and disaster that too often reflect someone struggling to move forward after years of abuse. Although many wanted his story to be a heartwarming triumph, the demons didn’t leave once his junior coach was behind bars. So much of Kennedy's story has been echoed by scores of athletes — male and female — who have have come forward in the last decade to say their coaches have also abused them. Betrayed by someone they trusted, they felt ashamed, guilty and alone. Kennedy’s book details how that emotional road forward can a long one with many setbacks.
Kennedy has survived. He’s devoted his post-hockey career to advocating for child abuse prevention and education. But clearly, society has a lot of work to do. And his story is well-worth reading as a push forward.
Horrified Canadians were adamant that young hockey players should be protected from predators. Yet a generation later, it’s clear the NHL missed the message.
This week, a report was released revealing that the Chicago Blackhawks did nothing in 2010 when told that one of their coaching staff had sexually assaulted a player who had been called up for the team’s Stanley Cup run and eventual championship victory. Kyle Beach was told it was his own fault. Senior senior management decided any attention could be a distraction from the playoff run. The predator ultimately had his name etched on the Stanley Cup and was allowed to go on to other hockey programs, where he molested other young men.
As fans and media raged on social media about toxic hockey culture in the wake of these revelations, I pulled Sheldon’s 2006 memoir off the shelf and read it with fresh eyes. Why I Didn't Say Anything: The Sheldon Kennedy Story, is heart-wrenching, raw and important. It’s a chilling and powerful book. You can feel the fear as he describes feeling trapped by his coach, who pulled a shotgun out of the closet in the moments after his first advances on the 13-year-old boy were rebuffed.
Kennedy makes no excuses for his train wreck of setbacks and disaster that too often reflect someone struggling to move forward after years of abuse. Although many wanted his story to be a heartwarming triumph, the demons didn’t leave once his junior coach was behind bars. So much of Kennedy's story has been echoed by scores of athletes — male and female — who have have come forward in the last decade to say their coaches have also abused them. Betrayed by someone they trusted, they felt ashamed, guilty and alone. Kennedy’s book details how that emotional road forward can a long one with many setbacks.
Kennedy has survived. He’s devoted his post-hockey career to advocating for child abuse prevention and education. But clearly, society has a lot of work to do. And his story is well-worth reading as a push forward.
May 26, 2020
This book is about a man named Sheldon Kennedy, a tremendously talented hockey player who grew up in Canada. Tragically, at the age of only 14, his hockey coach started sexually abusing him. His life began to spiral, and sadly his parents thought the solution to his combative adolescence was to turn him completely over to his coach, Graham James. He lived with Graham for many years, dealing with rape and other horrific actions by night, bullied by Graham by day, and taunted by his team for clearly being the coaches favorite.
Sheldon does his best to explain what goes on in a child's brain when this kind of trauma happens. The book spans his childhood, the abuse, his eventual prosecution of Graham, and his incredibly long journey through substance abuse.
I took away many things from this book, but the line that continues to ring in my ears is “We tell children to obey their coaches.” (that’s a paraphrase)
And I realize how careful I need to be when speaking to my kids about authority. I, along with many parents I would think, do not want to harm our children by stripping them of their innocence too soon. However, I think of all the times I’ve said, “Listen to your cousins”, “Obey your babysitter”, “Do what your Sunday school teacher says.”, “Be good for your teacher” (childcare) and even recently, “Listen to your coach.”
I cringe a little bit. Yes all well intentioned, and I do want to raise respectful children, but I can confidently say that far more will be added to that conversation from now on.
It is truly staggering to see the effect that abuse has on its victims. Many struggle with self harm, substance abuse, and some even turn into abusers themselves. Because of this, when we don’t confront this evil and take measures to protect ALL CHILDREN, we contribute to the rising numbers of abuse we see.
The goal for this book was to raise awareness about childhood sexual abuse, and the book definitely accomplished its aim.
I highly recommend it.
Sheldon does his best to explain what goes on in a child's brain when this kind of trauma happens. The book spans his childhood, the abuse, his eventual prosecution of Graham, and his incredibly long journey through substance abuse.
I took away many things from this book, but the line that continues to ring in my ears is “We tell children to obey their coaches.” (that’s a paraphrase)
And I realize how careful I need to be when speaking to my kids about authority. I, along with many parents I would think, do not want to harm our children by stripping them of their innocence too soon. However, I think of all the times I’ve said, “Listen to your cousins”, “Obey your babysitter”, “Do what your Sunday school teacher says.”, “Be good for your teacher” (childcare) and even recently, “Listen to your coach.”
I cringe a little bit. Yes all well intentioned, and I do want to raise respectful children, but I can confidently say that far more will be added to that conversation from now on.
It is truly staggering to see the effect that abuse has on its victims. Many struggle with self harm, substance abuse, and some even turn into abusers themselves. Because of this, when we don’t confront this evil and take measures to protect ALL CHILDREN, we contribute to the rising numbers of abuse we see.
The goal for this book was to raise awareness about childhood sexual abuse, and the book definitely accomplished its aim.
I highly recommend it.
December 30, 2017
It gives a great insight into the effects of sexual abuse - especially the long term effects. That the strength to admit and report what happened is extremely difficult but that it doesn’t end there. Although the victim thinks they will feel relief it is years of work to help them cope with the mistrust of authority. Great read and huge eye opener!
May 17, 2019
This has been on my bookshelf to read since I saw Theoren Fleury's play and read his book in the last year.
As a Canadian, I had no idea that there was so much power and control put into the hands of hockey coaches across the country who scout and sign young hockey players. Kennedy provided an eye-opening account and bravely discussed his own personal experience.
I highly recommend this book.
As a Canadian, I had no idea that there was so much power and control put into the hands of hockey coaches across the country who scout and sign young hockey players. Kennedy provided an eye-opening account and bravely discussed his own personal experience.
I highly recommend this book.
February 21, 2022
It was really sad all he went through his life, it makes me so mad that this type of abuse is debastating. The writing was okay it was a fast short explanation of the events with not to much detail and that's okay at least he got the chance to tell his experience and hopefully more people come forward and this help them to move on.
November 6, 2021
I’m sure that it wasn’t easy to write this book. It clearly shown the consequences of child abuse and the deep scars that we don’t see. I can’t imagine how the victims are going through. This book is a great way to educate people on sexual abuse on children. Prevention is the key!
February 13, 2024
This is such a good read! I think as a parent, you need to read this book to protect them from people in places of power and questioning behavior that is unusual in your kids. This book reminds us how our experiences can make or break us. Way to go Sheldon on all your work!
July 2, 2024
I am glad to have read this and can see it as a supportive text to survivors of sexual assault. The writing is not special but the story is one that Canadians should learn about at some point in their lives.
February 19, 2020
Thanks for speaking up Sheldon.
September 11, 2022
horrific story about a monster and an issue society needs to be more aware of. thanks for sharing your story Sheldon.
March 13, 2023
I enjoyed this book it was different from what I usually read and I always love a true story!
May 22, 2024
Very powerful and well written! This should be required reading for parents and kids.
November 15, 2024
As a mental health advocate and passionate hockey fan, I felt compelled to read Why I Didn’t Say Anything by Sheldon Kennedy.
This memoir pulls you in from the very first pages and although I finished it in two days, it’s taken me weeks to process.
In his memoir, Kennedy opens up about his years of abuse by his coach during his NHL career. When he came forward in 1997, he became one of the first high-profile athletes to disclose abuse at the hands of a coach.
As the title suggests, Kennedy explains why it took him over 10 years to speak up about the abuse and shares powerful insights into his hesitation.
He speaks about the power imbalances and vulnerabilities in youth sports and how these systems often fail to protect young athletes.
The book explores the all-encompassing impact of abuse, not just on mental health, but on every aspect of life.
This memoir is an important reminder of the need for ongoing conversations about mental health and abuse, and the importance of creating safe spaces for people to share their struggles.
It is a must-read for hockey fans, those passionate about mental health awareness, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the lasting effects of abuse and the silence it often creates.
As I finish this review, I want to express my gratitude to Sheldon Kennedy for sharing his story and being a driving force for change. Thank you for being such a strong mental health advocate and for all the incredible work you’ve done—and continue to do.
This memoir pulls you in from the very first pages and although I finished it in two days, it’s taken me weeks to process.
In his memoir, Kennedy opens up about his years of abuse by his coach during his NHL career. When he came forward in 1997, he became one of the first high-profile athletes to disclose abuse at the hands of a coach.
As the title suggests, Kennedy explains why it took him over 10 years to speak up about the abuse and shares powerful insights into his hesitation.
He speaks about the power imbalances and vulnerabilities in youth sports and how these systems often fail to protect young athletes.
The book explores the all-encompassing impact of abuse, not just on mental health, but on every aspect of life.
This memoir is an important reminder of the need for ongoing conversations about mental health and abuse, and the importance of creating safe spaces for people to share their struggles.
It is a must-read for hockey fans, those passionate about mental health awareness, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the lasting effects of abuse and the silence it often creates.
As I finish this review, I want to express my gratitude to Sheldon Kennedy for sharing his story and being a driving force for change. Thank you for being such a strong mental health advocate and for all the incredible work you’ve done—and continue to do.
December 2, 2013
This is a difficult book to read due to the subject matter, but I felt it was well done. It isn't polished which makes it that much more real. A heart breaking story which obviously took a great deal of courage to write. Mr Kennedy has put himself in the public eye for a good portion of his life and seems to have paid a high price for it, both from his horrific experiences of abuse while in junior hockey and the personal cost as a result. I applaud him for taking steps to bring this issue into public awareness.
June 5, 2015
Realistically speaking, this book is not well-written. The turns of phrase are often cliche and there were several typos in my kobo edition. All of that pales in comparison to the depth of the emotion in the story, however. Having read Theo Fleury's book (and seen the theatre adaptation), this book was definitely different. While Fleury focuses on his life after the abuse even while admitting it's effect on his life, Kennedy's book focuses almost exclusively on the effect of Graham James. It is a deeply unsettling read, purposefully and necessarily so.
July 20, 2015
As a Canadian from Saskatchewan, I was fairly familiar with this abuse case. It was interesting to read everything from Mr. Kennedy's point of view, and to get a sense of how great an impact this all had on his adult life. I very much appreciate the writing of this book. Not "high literature", but a well-written very personal story in which Kennedy is very honest about the abuse, the aftermath, and his struggles.
March 4, 2018
Just amazing and so powerful! It's great for him to be so honest about everything that happened because that had to have been hard. I really respect him and it's nice to see books about such serious things because it's not common and it's often ignored by people. It's nice for people to see the truth about what can be going on in sports
February 12, 2010
I'm glad this book exists, but I did NOT "really like" what I read. This is a plain-spoken memoir of the author's sexual victimization by his junior hockey coach, his drug addiction and the destruction of promising NHL career, and his painful stumbling into recovery.
January 18, 2011
One of the best books ever to help professionals and lay people understand the dynamics of the sexual abuse of boys! Well written, candid and honest, one of the best professional resources I've found!
December 6, 2012
it was hard to read, its more in depth then Theo's book. If your a victim/victor, it might be a hard read. But once you have read either story's about Graham James, you sort of have to read the other.
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January 26, 2014Awesome book!!!!
this is such a powerful book. Sheldon writes it in a way that is very easy to understand the hurt that he is going through. I hope James will someday have to really pay for all of the abuse and torture that he inflicted.on these young boys. he is suck!!
this is such a powerful book. Sheldon writes it in a way that is very easy to understand the hurt that he is going through. I hope James will someday have to really pay for all of the abuse and torture that he inflicted.on these young boys. he is suck!!
December 20, 2014
This is a great book. Easy to read, terrifying to understand. He really puts us into his place.
August 9, 2015
Tough read, but very powerful
April 4, 2016
I think Sheldon did a great job. He shared his story in a way that focuses less on the specifics of the abuse and more on the emotional impact.
February 18, 2025
Very eye opening and informative. Sometimes it feels like it goes on for too long about a certain topic or drags on, but the topic needs to be brought to light and Sheldon does it in a very good way.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews