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Authentic Relationships: Discover the Lost Art of "One Anothering"
In a culture that promotes isolation and autonomy, this book reveals life-changing methods for creating healthy relationships and authentic community. Readers learn to apply New Testament principles that capture the essence of Jesus' teachings about effectively caring, serving, and loving one another.
Beginning with God's simple command to "Love one another," this book shows how
* develop deep, genuine friendships
* model to others a relationship with Jesus
* create meaningful interaction with strangers
* avoid the pitfalls of judging others
* show people love, acceptance, kindness, and respect
Complete with discussion questions, this book is appropriate for both individuals and church groups. It is a must for all Christians who wish to practice being the church rather than merely attending one.
Beginning with God's simple command to "Love one another," this book shows how
* develop deep, genuine friendships
* model to others a relationship with Jesus
* create meaningful interaction with strangers
* avoid the pitfalls of judging others
* show people love, acceptance, kindness, and respect
Complete with discussion questions, this book is appropriate for both individuals and church groups. It is a must for all Christians who wish to practice being the church rather than merely attending one.
158 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2003
23 people are currently reading
184 people want to read
About the author
Wayne Jacobsen
30 books103 followersWayne Jacobsen was a pastor for 20 years and a Contributing Editor to Leadership Journal and has authored numerous books and articles on spiritual formation, relational community and engagement of culture. Wayne also cohosts a weekly podcast at TheGodJourney.com, out of which came his collaboration on the writing of The Shack and helped create Windblown Media, the publishing company behind the phenomenon.
As the director of Lifestream Ministries, Jacobsen travels globally teaching on themes of intimacy with God, the Love of God, and relational church life.
As President of BridgeBuilders, he is also a nationally-recognized specialist and mediator in resolving cultural and religious conflicts. Jacobsen has become known for his expertise in the pros and cons of organized religion.
As the director of Lifestream Ministries, Jacobsen travels globally teaching on themes of intimacy with God, the Love of God, and relational church life.
As President of BridgeBuilders, he is also a nationally-recognized specialist and mediator in resolving cultural and religious conflicts. Jacobsen has become known for his expertise in the pros and cons of organized religion.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
February 7, 2016
This book was pretty much the way my mom and dad have taught me, however, it is not how the culture at large views relationships. This book isn't long and drawn out, it is very short and to the point. I think that many will find this very helpful and biblical.
March 8, 2019
I really enjoyed this book. I highlighted and made notes in the margins often. One of the quotes from the book that I enjoyed most was, "You are not free to do something unless you are also free not to" (page 140).
March 13, 2022
This book was a great encouragement to take others seriously and to care for one another as Jesus did and as He asked us to. I'm hoping to build some of these things into my life so that I can be more encouraging to others.
June 21, 2012
Very enjoyable book about relatuonships and authentic Christian friendship. Talks about how the Holy Spirit works in our lives and draws us together with other Christians. Also talks about the freedom we have in Christ and how we all are on our Christian journey with God although not all in the same way.
November 24, 2017
I think if I hadn't read this for a small group I would have assumed that it was total cheeseball fare and blown it off without another thought. There are definitely some cheeseball moments, but by far the overwhelming feeling I had about this book was that there were some real and deep insights about being real and genuine in your dealings with other people. If you're interested in getting past superficial interactions and developing real relationships with those around you, this is a great place to start.
October 11, 2019
Very enjoyable book about relatuonships and authentic Christian friendship. Talks about how the Holy Spirit works in our lives and draws us together with other Christians. Also talks about the freedom we have in Christ and how we all are on our Christian journey with God although not all in the same way.
February 7, 2021
Such sincere fellowship teaching
Wouldn't it be awesome for the Christian community to understand the authenticity of loving like Jesus. Everyone needs to brush up on their ONE ANOTHERING.
Wouldn't it be awesome for the Christian community to understand the authenticity of loving like Jesus. Everyone needs to brush up on their ONE ANOTHERING.
June 14, 2021
Great Book!
I highly recommend this book. It will help a believer understand the heart of the Father more and the importance of drawing closer to Him.
I highly recommend this book. It will help a believer understand the heart of the Father more and the importance of drawing closer to Him.
May 16, 2010
Brothers Wayne and Clay Jacobsen take us through twenty-two "one anothering" verses in the Bible ("Love one another," "Encourage one another daily," "Comfort one another," etc) as foundations for building deep relationships with others in strong Christian community. The "one anothering" passages are grouped into thirteen brief chapters with accompanying discussion questions, which facilitates using the book as a small-group study guide.
In the preface, Clay mentions that the roots of this book began when he accompanied his brother Wayne on a retreat to help lead music:
Grounded in scriptural principles, illustrated with true-life examples, and always practical, the lessons in this book are highly accessible and encouraging, providing ways to work toward loving, serving, and being open with others that can lead to close, enriching relationships.
Such a list of verses could easily be turned into a set of prescriptive rules to follow, in a law-like fashion. (They are, after all, imperative statements.) However, doing so directly contradicts the spirit in which the Jacobsens offer these lessons: People begin loving others not when they force themselves to perform a set of actions, but when they first experience the deep love of God for themselves and as they learn to trust Him more fully.
At times, the cynical side of me wanted to protest that the Jacobsens present nearly a utopic picture of Christian community. (In fairness, while they tend to emphasize the benefits of following the "one anothering" passages, they do point out from time to time when things may break down.) But, I have to remind myself that no "authentic relationship" is possible without the transforming work of the Holy Spirit, and that the Father, who loves us, is powerful to accomplish His will. Bonhoeffer in Life Together tells us that community is a (precious) gift from God, and as such is something for which to be thankful for in the measure in which it is given. And, since we live in a period in which God is progressively working out the redemption of the world that Christ secured on the cross, we can expect our communities and relationships to be transformed bit by bit. In Authentic Relationships, the Jacobsens give us new ways to pray for God's transformative work in our lives.
In the preface, Clay mentions that the roots of this book began when he accompanied his brother Wayne on a retreat to help lead music:
Wayne was speaking on the power of Christian friendship, focusing on Scriptures he called the "one anothering" passages. At first blush his message didn't seem to be anything new. I had been raised by loving, Christian parents and had read these verses individually dozens of times. Though many of them were some of the most endearing passages I had studied in the course of my life, I had never considered them together in this context. Combined, they painted a rich panorama of the incredible relationships of love and support the body of Christ can share. (9)I agree completely with Clay's assessment.
Grounded in scriptural principles, illustrated with true-life examples, and always practical, the lessons in this book are highly accessible and encouraging, providing ways to work toward loving, serving, and being open with others that can lead to close, enriching relationships.
Such a list of verses could easily be turned into a set of prescriptive rules to follow, in a law-like fashion. (They are, after all, imperative statements.) However, doing so directly contradicts the spirit in which the Jacobsens offer these lessons: People begin loving others not when they force themselves to perform a set of actions, but when they first experience the deep love of God for themselves and as they learn to trust Him more fully.
At times, the cynical side of me wanted to protest that the Jacobsens present nearly a utopic picture of Christian community. (In fairness, while they tend to emphasize the benefits of following the "one anothering" passages, they do point out from time to time when things may break down.) But, I have to remind myself that no "authentic relationship" is possible without the transforming work of the Holy Spirit, and that the Father, who loves us, is powerful to accomplish His will. Bonhoeffer in Life Together tells us that community is a (precious) gift from God, and as such is something for which to be thankful for in the measure in which it is given. And, since we live in a period in which God is progressively working out the redemption of the world that Christ secured on the cross, we can expect our communities and relationships to be transformed bit by bit. In Authentic Relationships, the Jacobsens give us new ways to pray for God's transformative work in our lives.
May 20, 2012
Practical and Applicable both inside and outside the Church
Wayne Jacobsen's effort partnering with his brother hits a solid bulls-eye in looking at what appears to be a continually rising need in many Christian's lives. In a day where technology appears to be increasing communication almost exponentially it's remarkable to listen to how much people are crying for genuine and personal relationships.
In an age of "10 Steps to ....", "A Dummies Guide to ...." etc. it's refreshing to see a book that avoids the normal prototype of laying out step by step how to do something. There are practical suggestion here to be certain, but when they are given they are almost an afterthought or a casual aside.
The book addresses several misconceptions and this reader appreciated the observations of how traditional Church bodies often miss this important area in terms of deliberate and targetted effort to bring people together in real relationship. What's is impressive to me however, is that while those observations are made and address significant issues, the entire focus of the book presents its truth in such a way that the wisdom contained can be applied in most any context. Institutional Churches, Home Churches, Home Fellowship Groups, Organic Churches, Informal Neighborhood Bible Studies, Casual Friendships. The point isn't so much the context of the relationships, nor the quantity of relationships but rather the quality of relationships and how to look for and develop reciprocal relationships, free from manipulation and authoritarian abuses.
This book was great as an individual read but it also is laid out in such a way that it could serve as a small group study (although maybe not in a traditional taught by only one person type of way.)
This book works very well in the tradition of popular books such as The Shack, So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore, He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father's Affection, Reimagining Church: Pursuing the Dream of Organic Christianityand Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God, Revised and Expanded.
5 Stars. I highly Recommend this Book
Wayne Jacobsen's effort partnering with his brother hits a solid bulls-eye in looking at what appears to be a continually rising need in many Christian's lives. In a day where technology appears to be increasing communication almost exponentially it's remarkable to listen to how much people are crying for genuine and personal relationships.
In an age of "10 Steps to ....", "A Dummies Guide to ...." etc. it's refreshing to see a book that avoids the normal prototype of laying out step by step how to do something. There are practical suggestion here to be certain, but when they are given they are almost an afterthought or a casual aside.
The book addresses several misconceptions and this reader appreciated the observations of how traditional Church bodies often miss this important area in terms of deliberate and targetted effort to bring people together in real relationship. What's is impressive to me however, is that while those observations are made and address significant issues, the entire focus of the book presents its truth in such a way that the wisdom contained can be applied in most any context. Institutional Churches, Home Churches, Home Fellowship Groups, Organic Churches, Informal Neighborhood Bible Studies, Casual Friendships. The point isn't so much the context of the relationships, nor the quantity of relationships but rather the quality of relationships and how to look for and develop reciprocal relationships, free from manipulation and authoritarian abuses.
This book was great as an individual read but it also is laid out in such a way that it could serve as a small group study (although maybe not in a traditional taught by only one person type of way.)
This book works very well in the tradition of popular books such as The Shack, So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore, He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father's Affection, Reimagining Church: Pursuing the Dream of Organic Christianityand Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God, Revised and Expanded.
5 Stars. I highly Recommend this Book
June 14, 2025
A thought-provoking book about Christian community, in the best sense. Starting with the command to love one another, the authors look at several 'one another' verses from the New Testament. They suggest what they might have meant, and how they can be applied today.
I was particularly taken with their interpretation of the idea of submitting to one another. It was rather different from standard evangelical teaching, yet seemed much more akin to what would have been meant by the phrase.
I'm not sure how far I will be able put this into practice, but it would be very encouraging to see more real community within the Christian church. Definitely recommended to anyone interested in this topic, either as an individual or as a group studying together.
Latest longer review: https://suesbookreviews.blogspot.com/...
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I was particularly taken with their interpretation of the idea of submitting to one another. It was rather different from standard evangelical teaching, yet seemed much more akin to what would have been meant by the phrase.
I'm not sure how far I will be able put this into practice, but it would be very encouraging to see more real community within the Christian church. Definitely recommended to anyone interested in this topic, either as an individual or as a group studying together.
Latest longer review: https://suesbookreviews.blogspot.com/...
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October 8, 2014
Do you hunger for deep real authentic relationship with people? Do you find that your current relationships only go so far and there's a longing for something more?
I was educated and nourished by the authors list of "one another" verses from the Bible. The authors walk you through a description of what authentic relationships look like and how to participate in them and then provide suggestions for germinating and nurturing these valuable relationships.
I was educated and nourished by the authors list of "one another" verses from the Bible. The authors walk you through a description of what authentic relationships look like and how to participate in them and then provide suggestions for germinating and nurturing these valuable relationships.
June 19, 2013
This book is excellent! I noticed one reviewer commented that it seemed to be common sense. In a way, I have to agree. However, many times in our institutional structures we foresake the common sense, simple solutions in favor of complicated systems of ministry. This book is a refreshing view for those that know that our over programmed, non-relational lives are missing something.
October 8, 2009
I feel bad giving this book a poor review because the author is a friend of the Wilkins family (I personally don't know him but he grew up in Selma with Dave's dad's family) but it just seemed like a book about common sense. I don't recommend it. Sorry!
October 29, 2013
This book was recommended by a dear friend, Connie who has since passed away. As I read this book, I could see she was carrying out many of the principles. They apply to all facets of life, not just marriage and friendships. It's worth another look as it was so rich, but simply put.
May 26, 2013
I absolutely enjoyed reading this book. This has been our Journey for the last 8 years and finally somebody put words to our feelings about the whole concept of church living versus Love living with all.
This is an Attaboy Book.
This is an Attaboy Book.
January 29, 2008
Excellent books discussing our need for community within the context of faith.
November 16, 2008
I LOVED LOVED LOVED this book. I bought it because of the phrase "one anothering" and read it through in a day. Now I want to read it again and journal as I read it.
February 28, 2011
Absolutely brilliant.
December 15, 2013
Great, practical info on what life groups should be all about.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews